Virgie and Kelly ponder changes to their mother-daughter relationship as Virgie faces complications of old age and Kelly shoulders a newfound worry whenever her mother doesn’t answer her phone. Worrying aside, they keep the conversation light as their loving exchange and Virgie’s frank outlook on dying bring a unique perspective to their situation and to the experience of getting old. This is an incredibly heartwarming conversation between a mother and daughter as they balance their love and worry for one another. FROM THE EPISODE: KELLY: Well, to diverge from the questions: people told you you shouldn't have me.  VIRGIE: Oh yeah. Geriatric mothers usually don't deliver nice babies; they aren't so lucky as to have a full term pregnancy. KELLY: And in 1970, how old were you?  VIRGIE: I was almost 40.  KELLY: And what else was going on with you?  VIRGIE: What else was going on with me?  KELLY: They gave you monkey juice. The Rhesus Serum because of your RH factor.  VIRGIE: Oh yeah. I got the monkey juice, yes. Yes, I forgot about that. It's been so long. Yeah, the Rhesus Serum because of my RH negative. And of course you were watched very carefully, but you grew up to be a nice, beautiful, adorable, perfect daughter.  KELLY: I'm always reflective about how many people told you you shouldn't have a baby when you were that old. So thanks for not listening to them. VIRGIE: Oh, you're a gift. You're a gift from God.  KELLY: Let's move on. What are you hesitant to tell me?  VIRGIE: I think I'm probably hesitant to tell you things that are happening to us physically, not psychologically. Your dad and myself. And after I think about it a little while, I think, with your mind, your maturity, you can handle it. KELLY: I freak out when you hold things back from me.  VIRGIE: I know, but sometimes I don't think you're ready for it.  KELLY: That's not fair. VIRGIE: I take a gamble at times.  KELLY: If I call you at our appointed calling hours and you don't answer, and I call you over an hour's period of time and nobody's answering, do you know the second place I call? VIRGIE: Yeah, the hospital. Anyway. Sometimes we go out, on rare occasions.  KELLY: You don't ever go out.  VIRGIE: Yes, we do. KELLY: No, you don't. So you have to be honest with me.  VIRGIE: You just have to accept some of those silly times. But I'll be honest with you if we had to have CPR or something like that.  KELLY: Great. Okay. Thanks a lot. VIRGIE: What happened to me that scared you the most and why? KELLY: When you called me saying, "don't worry if you call and I don't answer; the EMS squad is here and they're taking me to the hospital." So yeah, that was a little worse.  VIRGIE: But I survived.  KELLY: You did, but you still are not confronting the issue that got you to that point. VIRGIE: That's all right. Let's forget that. I want to move on.  KELLY: I am sure you want to move on, but I'm daily worrying about you. VIRGIE: That's okay. I'm glad you're like that, but if there's a crisis, I'll definitely let you know.  KELLY: That's terrific. Thanks. What is the hardest thing about being a mom?  VIRGIE: I'm worried about your security with the job you have now. You travel from Jersey to New York City and I live in mortal fear and it's obvious as to why I worry about you. KELLY: But I work in a really safe building. VIRGIE: The Tower was safe too for awhile.  KELLY: If your number's up, your number's up.  VIRGIE: I don't want you to have a lackadaisical attitude about that. KELLY: I don't have a lackadaisical attitude—  VIRGIE: But I do worry about that. KELLY: At least it's mutual.  🗣 Have the kind of meaningful conversations you hear on this podcast with our Relationship Card Games: TheSkinDeep.com/Store ♡ Us Illuminated is produced by the Emmy Award-winning interactive studio exploring human connection in the digital age, THE SKIN DEEP. 
Engaged couple Rachel and Kristoph are on the cusp of taking the next step in their relationship: getting married. This conversation is a moment to reflect on the role they play in each other’s lives and how “surrendering themselves” allows them to be wholeheartedly present in their relationship. You may not know what happened in Alaska, but you will feel how deeply they love one another after hearing this episode.  CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains adult language that may not be appropriate for some listeners. FROM THE EPISODE: Kristoph: How have your feelings for me changed? Rachel: I think at one point I'd felt like I could help you. And that made me feel good. And that changed when I realized it wasn't me helping you. It was us helping each other. In ways that you weren't even aware of you've changed me too and made me a better person too, and made my days brighter. That realization was huge for me. The feeling that I've never had before: just complete surrender. You’re my person, actually the person that I want to have a family with…the person that I want to grow old with.  Kristoph: When did you surrender?  Rachel: I would say Alaska. Yeah. And that was the moment where I stepped into a new…a whole new world for me, that I've never accepted with anybody else…of complete surrender to, to trust you. How do I make you better?  Kristoph: How do you make me better? I don't know. I feel more connected to myself from being with you. You don't let me hide. That was my whole thing. Whenever conflict or anything would come up, I would hide and not deal with it. You literally don't allow that, you just don't. And at first I hated it. It's not easy. And so you've made me more able to connect with you and connect with other people. Now I understand how people connect. Being perfect is not the way they connect with somebody; it’s being real. And conflict. Sometimes the rawness that might not be perfect underneath is what actually connects people. Yeah, I didn't really know that. If you could go back to when we started our relationship, what advice would you give yourself? Rachel: Fuck…a lot. As much as we've been through…I wouldn't give myself any advice…we had to go through everything that we've been through and I had to have the learning experiences and you had to have the learning experiences to get to where we are. I think that any little thing, if I had any piece of advice that might've changed it and I think I’d say: you have to be here. So buckle up. That's the only advice.  🗣 Have the kind of meaningful conversations you hear on this podcast with our Relationship Card Games: TheSkinDeep.com/Store ♡ Us Illuminated is produced by the Emmy Award-winning interactive studio exploring human connection in the digital age, THE SKIN DEEP. 
Listen in on a conversation between Alexander and Deon, close friends who breathe new life into the idea of a “support system”. In an exchange that feels more like a private, deep, late-night chat, Alexander and Deon dig into how they’re able to bring out the best in each other and how they can offer even more support,  when their friend finds themself at their lowest. CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains adult language that may not be appropriate for some listeners. FROM THE EPISODE: [ALEXANDER] How you view yourself can really put into perspective the things that you do after that. And I think that you're really good at—even if you might harvest not the greatest thoughts of yourself or the energy you keep is not one that you're putting out into the world is not great—you’re still very good at being able to keep it positive. And I feel like that’s— [DEON] You preaching? You gotta preach to the people on Sunday!  [ALEXANDER] I'm just saying that's something that I admire you for so deeply. [DEON] Thank you. [ALEXANDER] When do you worry about me the most and why then? [DEON] This is a question. This is a question. I think I worry about you most when you…hit very low points. I think it scares me so much because I've experienced depression, as a lot of us, as a lot of people have. And I think I see the signs of what it can do to somebody. And your lows to me make me feel like I'm in lows. Truly, because I feel as connected as we are, if you're going through it, then I'm going through it. There are times when you hit lows that [make me] fear for you because I can't read you as well at those times. That's when I have to go into survival mode essentially. I have to turn on everything that I know to make sure that Alex is okay. I fear that sometimes what I'm doing is not enough. I have a fear of letting you down. If that makes sense. In the situation of needing a support system or needing somebody and I want to make sure that I am that person at all times.  [ALEXANDER] I completely agree with you because when I hit my lows—and I know this for myself—and it's just something that I try to work on. That's when the barriers go up. I might be in the darkest place ever and you're not going to know. At that point when you're in your darkest, or I'm in my darkest, that’s when it's most hurtful to be not communicative. That is when I'm not. And I think you have a right to fear at that point. [DEON] It’s very strange because, like you said, sometimes it's not always on the outside. In moments when I'm not feeling my best—like in most instances when my thoughts aren't as kind to me, and when I'm feeling really low, it's very coincidental that you will always text me whenever I'm going through that. Believe it or not, no matter what meme you're sending me, no matter what texts or song or anything, it's almost always in the timing that I am not okay. And you just always end up following it…It’s so coincidental, it's actually scary, it's so weird. Like you'll either call me or you'll text me, while I'm in this dark place. And believe it or not, it's helped me, It's done a lot for me.  [ALEXANDER] I got you, bitch.  [DEON] Thank you…. 🗣 Have the kind of meaningful conversations you hear on this podcast with our Relationship Card Games: TheSkinDeep.com/Store ♡ Us Illuminated is produced by the Emmy Award-winning interactive studio exploring human connection in the digital age, THE SKIN DEEP. 
In this episode we meet married couple Melisa and Lloyd. These lovers of seven years were always drawn to each other, but their capacity to learn and grow together provided a foundation for their relationship to really flourish. In this conversation, they take time to revisit Lloyd’s painful decision of choosing the love of his life over his mother, cherish the transparency that originally brought them together in a time when they were drifting apart, and reaffirm their encouragement for one another to be the best versions of themselves. Melisa and Lloyd describe themselves as the “Most Beautiful Couple in the World” and this conversation might make you agree. FROM THE EPISODE: [MELISA] How do you think our lives would be different if we never met? [LLOYD] I think I still would be on edge. I think I would be a little less compassionate. I think I learned a lot about women being with you and how women feel and what do women like. And me being an only child, how not to think of myself only when I was doing that for so long. So definitely when I moved in with you, it got real. I was like, "okay, this is serious stuff. People don't volunteer [this stuff];" the only way you'd know about it is living with the person, experiencing it with them. So definitely, that'd be like a key takeaway for me. When is the last time you considered ending this relationship and why didn't you? [MELISA] It was a time where I felt like you had to choose between me and your mom. And that was a rough time for me. And a lot of people that know us don't know. Now, having a relationship with your mother after seven years of being together. And she didn't come to our wedding, that was really rough for me. And I don't think I let you know, as much as it really hurt me. When I came into your life, your mother kind of slammed the door and was like, “Stop right there. Don't come no further. This is my son and I don't want no dealings with you.” Cause we did break up for like two weeks, which was not long— [LLOYD] It felt like two years! [MELISA] I was ready to be done with the situation because I felt like I knew how close you and your mom was and I didn't want to be that wedge between you guys. So I was going to sacrifice myself and lose out on a great person. So she could win and y'all could keep your family together. Even though maybe that's not what you wanted, but I was tired of fighting. And only God has it now that she's like, “My daughter-in-law” and we have a great relationship and stuff like that. But the times before that was rough. I was worried about you for the wedding day that she didn't show up because you know, your dad is deceased and she's your only living parent. I was hurting that she wouldn't be there for you. Cause both of my parents were there. it hurt me too that she didn't come and I didn't let on. Cause you know, it's like all those other people were there. What really bothered me—and this was several times I wanted to break up because of your mom—I’m sorry to say that.  [LLOYD] It was definitely a dealbreaker for a lot of people. And as far as her not coming to the wedding, I was kind of well-prepared for that. So I felt it affected you because you kept asking me about it and I wasn't mentioning it. [MELISA] To me it kind of looked bad. [LLOYD] Absolutely. But again, it was something that I was prepared for. Especially the closer it got to that date. That was something I wouldn't be surprised of. So, again, it was something that I was at peace with, but—like I say to you many times—for her to be present in her grandchild's life is more important, if I have to choose, than her being at the wedding or anything during that time prior. 🗣 Have the kind of meaningful conversations you hear on this podcast with our Relationship Card Games: TheSkinDeep.com/Store ♡ Us Illuminated is produced by the Emmy Award-winning interactive studio exploring human connection in the digital age, THE SKIN DEEP. 
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Creator Details

Episode Count
34
Podcast Count
2
Total Airtime
7 hours, 35 minutes
PCID
Podchaser Creator ID logo 754230