Welcome to the first official episode of BTSWTW, featuring 1-star reviews of grocery stores in Cincinnati, OH. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetLogo design by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus Whi

35: Souvenir Shops in Atlantic City, NJ

Jul 24th, 2019 1h 15m

Alex: *loudly and desperately* "I FOLLOWED NONE OF THAT, BUT I HATED ALL OF THAT" *breaks into a sweat* Christine: *pulls up barstool* "EEK!!" *clinks glass* We hope you enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them,

3: Car Washes in Minneapolis, MN

Dec 12th, 2018 21m 23s

It's episode three, y'all! Tune in for some...interesting...reviews of car washes in Minneapolis, MN. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetLogo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White.Learn more a

2: Hotels in Kansas City, MO

Dec 12th, 2018 24m 27s

Episode two is here! We cover 1-star reviews of hotels in Kansas City, MO. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetLogo design by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White.Learn more about your ad choices

129: Reviews of Obscure Museums

1 May 19th, 2021 1h 50m

How will I tell my children that these podcasters were not cats?Check out our new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wetSupport us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy!Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Hum

77: Lakes in Minnesota

May 13th, 2020 1h 1m

Turn off your Jimmy Buffet and hop aboard the Silky Pig, because we're going yelping! Join us on this amazing natural journey where we discover all the crazies Minnesota has to offer. Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collection

67: Reviews of Disney Parks

Mar 4th, 2020 1h 12m

Sure, we're probably the last people on the planet who should be hosting a podcast episode about Disney, but we still had a blast reading terrible reviews of their 'cloyingly ahistorical' parks. We do our best not to overanalyze the people who

Bonus

Live at Spotify HQ in New York, NY

Feb 7th, 2020 36m 2s

We made it through our first live show ever!! And now you have the chance to experience our discomfort from the comfort of your home. We had an amazing time and we are so grateful to Anchor, Spotify, and all our beautiful listeners who made thi

50: Apartment Complexes in Grand Rapids, MI

Nov 6th, 2019 1h 13m

This week's episode is dedicated to Fat Cat Cora. Remember that time when we exposed a hairy underbelly? Well, this week's underbelly is even hairier. If you're looking for an apartment in Grand Rapids, we hope you don't take this episode into

49: Spooky Spots in Salem, MA

Oct 30th, 2019 2h 5m

Welcome to the Beach Too Sandy Halloween Extravaganza!! We have such an exciting show featuring three very special guests! We bet you're reading this looking for a spoiler of who those guests are. Well guess what, we're not going to spoil the g

48: Halloween Stores in Virginia Beach, VA

Oct 23rd, 2019 50m 38s

WHEN YOU YELL, I YELP! Looking for a nose to pick? You've come to the right place. Turn up the Ziggy Idol, put on your star costume, and join us as we kick off spooky-ooky season with Halloween stores in Virginia Beach, VA! Support us on Patre

47: Wineries in Los Gatos, CA

Oct 16th, 2019 50m 4s

Hello lovely listeners. Enjoying the table wine? Well why don't we take this back to our garden. We've got plenty of steamed salami to go around ;) Just don't let Louis out, we're happy he left his post at the winery for us. He just really love

Between You And Us: Episode 9

Oct 14th, 2019 48m 39s

Locusts, cicadas, and hard hats oh my! We're reading the reviews you want to hear! This time we read everything from book reviews to communion wafers. Listen now, because THIS. IS. CRITICAL.Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy

46: Fitness Centers in Cheyenne, WY

Oct 9th, 2019 1h 1m

Welcome to the start of our podcast recording marathon, AKA our descent into madness, AKA our descent into Christine's basement full of teens. Listen as we unload reviews of fitness centers from Cheyenne, WY (and Helena, MT, don't worry). Alex

45: Tanning Salons in Huntington Beach, CA

Oct 2nd, 2019 1h 4m

It's Alex's birthday episode and we certainly made the most of it. We discuss killing penguins and the miracle of childbirth, all while Alex intimately sings the praises of Scrub Daddy. Listen to your Podcast Messiah and his sister as they take

44: Runzas in Lincoln, NE

Sep 25th, 2019 56m 31s

Don't know what a runza is? Don't listen to us, because we think it's a hot dog bun sewn shut and filled with questionable ingredients. We don't have personal experience because we don't even know where Nebraska is. Thankfully, the good people

43: Antique Stores in Portland, ME

1 Sep 18th, 2019 1h 3m

We're heading to Maine on the Gossip Train! We're stopping at the Charles Inn for a ghost made breakfast. Then we'll tour the basement where Stephen King lives, butchering the name of the town while we do it. Enjoy calming episodes of Antiques

42: Ice Cream Parlors in Charleston, WV

Sep 11th, 2019 47m 59s

Adjust your husky pants and let us show you the world, shining glimmering... something. We're back and we're hungry for what West Virginia has to offer, hairy underbelly and all. So turn your ;( upside down and let these regular bloody stupid j

Between You And Us: Episode 8

Sep 9th, 2019 33m 32s

If you’ve ever read the name of our podcast and thought to yourself, "No one would ever complain that their water is too wet..." then boy do we have the episode for you! This week we read reviews sent in by YOU and this week's includes one with

41: Psychics in Albuquerque, NM

Sep 4th, 2019 1h

This week, we explore the underbelly (and overbelly) of Albuquerque. No clue what that means? Let's just say one has high metaphysical prices while the other is ruled by a farmer friar. Still not making sense? Then rub your Walmart crystals and

40: Gas Stations in Wilmington, DE

Aug 28th, 2019 1h 17m

We're forty, flirty, and friving! In this very special episodes, our jet lagged selves offer you a glimpse into what a Schiefer vacation is like. Hint: it involves wet shorts and Mao Zedong. Then we read reviews of gas stations... but they're m

39: Bookstores in Portland, OR

Aug 21st, 2019 1h 11m

Witness if you will a subway tunnel, long abandoned below the bustling streets of Cincinnati. These tunnels have residents: Yelp reviewers. Let it be known that these reviewers have a disdain for soup and an affinity for Criss Angel: Family Man

38: McDonald's Restaurants in Billings, MT

Aug 14th, 2019 57m 17s

This episode is dedicated to all the Tonys out there! Gather your escargatoire, put the salt away, and unfriend all Pauls, because it's time for another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Support us on Patreon at patre

Between You And Us: Episode 7

Aug 12th, 2019 49m 30s

Slip on some lulus, take a sip of yuppie crack, and dive into another week of crazy reviews sent in by you! Whether your name is Shinny or Sheenad, you'll enjoy this exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Support us on Pat

37: Dollar Stores in Birmingham, AL

Aug 7th, 2019 54m 16s

Hello sweet children of a friend of ours, we hope you're having the BDE. Unfortunately ours is the WDE, because our Hot Bunz aren't working and Christine won't let Alex sell his Ten Renaissance Paintings. While we figure this mess out, please e