Welcome back to Becoming the Hero.

I’m your Development Master, Justin Lewis, and together you and I will add more adventure to your life, help you level up in specific ways, and help you be the hero of your own story.

If you’ve ever played Dungeons & Dragons you’re very familiar with the Charisma score. It’s the number that describes how well you interact with other people whether in a persuasive way or in an intimidating way. It dictates deception and shows your savvy in social situations. If you’re like me, you’ve probably asked, “Why can’t I have a good charisma score in real life?” In D&D you can get feats, items, or abilities that naturally improve your charisma score. Today, I want to talk about a few ways to boost your charisma score in real life without the use of magical items.

Before we get to that, I want to share a specific announcement.

My goal is to make episodes that actually make a difference in your life. To further that goal I will now be shifting to one episode a month. This should allow me to make very good content, laser-focused on moving the needle in your life. I’m extremely grateful for all the support you’ve given me and I want to ask you if there’s anything else I can do for you, let me know via Instagram. For now, the episodes will come out on the first of every month. But until then, let’s get back to charisma.

Here are 6 ways to boost your charisma score in real life.

Wonder and Curiosity

The world is full of wonder and few things make as little sense as people. Behind every person is a history of experience and story. The absolute best way to boost your charisma score in real life is by getting curious about people. Honestly, that’s one of the biggest benefits I’ve earned from doing podcasts is a natural growth in the skill of being curious. Naturally, I’m nervous about social encounters because I never know what to say or how to interact. This might make me say stupid things or speak rather quickly. When I change tactics and instead ask questions about the other members of the social interaction the encounter becomes much more interesting. In the next conversation you have with someone else, ask them a question you are genuinely curious about. You’ll be surprised what happens.

Practice Small Talk

“Big gulps huh…. Alright…”

If you’ve seen Dumb and Dumber, you are very familiar with this particular line. It comes at a point in the movie where the heroes have begun their adventure. Jim Carrey’s character Lloyd says it to a few gentlemen waiting at a gas station and we, the audience, have a good laugh.

We’re laughing because it’s such an awkward situation and Lloyd is unaware of the awkwardness or unable to circumvent it. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in situations exactly like that. 

That’s because I didn’t understand the value of small talk. In my estimation, small talk forms the bridge from “stranger danger” to “let’s be friends”. If you don’t construct that bridge effectively, it might lead you to stand on a partially constructed bridge hovering over the awkwardness.

To do small talk right, I think you need a few things. 1. You need to give the person you’re talking to a reasonable belief that a conversation or relationship would be worthwhile.2. You need to match their current conversation expectations (I.e. if they are completely closed off then small talk won’t happen, a bridge has two sides). 3. You need to set yourself up for better personal topics. A great one is your name. As I said before small talk should be a preface for deeper topics.

Selective Vulnerability

Speaking of deeper topics, You aren’t just a person. You’re a story. Every person with whom you come in contact with gets an opportunity to immerse themselves in the story that is you. Just like with books, if you don’t interest people or hook them they won’t be...