NOTE: This is the finale of Blue Babies Pink. If you haven't read the previous 43 episodes, please do that before listening to Episode 44. Also, after listening to this one, be sure to check out the Epilogue for the final wrap-up.

Episode 43 • Tears on a Boat Dock

Mar 2nd, 2017 15m 3s

"I sprinted down that path, through the trees, all the way out to the boat dock—heaving, shaking, and sobbing as I ran. I felt like I might choke, fighting for breath. My face poured wet salt onto the summer grass below..."

Episode 42 • Someone to Run Home To

Mar 2nd, 2017 12m 13s

"I began to think a lot then about the role of a spouse, of a companion. I'd never been in anything close to a meaningful relationship, and I'd slammed the door on love years before, so I was clueless about it all."

Episode 41 • Questions for God

Mar 2nd, 2017 13m 16s

"My whole life, I'd been taught that God's design for the world was men and women getting married and making babies. This formed family units which were the building blocks of society. So it made sense that the institution of marriage would lea

Episode 40 • Brain Blanks

Mar 2nd, 2017 12m 24s

Brett appears on a Christian TV show and disaster strikes...

Episode 39 • Decade-Long Battles

Mar 2nd, 2017 8m 50s

"March 14 was the day I thought God cursed my testicles..."

Episode 38 • Elvis and Larry

Mar 2nd, 2017 14m 31s

"And while death is inevitable, we still have to live. We still have to do our best to use our lives well. This is one of the great paradoxes of life: That our time on earth is both utterly precious and completely insignificant."

Episode 37 • Growing Old, But Not Quite Growing Up

Mar 2nd, 2017 10m 50s

"Every wedding was a little funeral for me. I held a little sad ceremony in my heart...a ceremony for one..."

Episode 36 • Anxiety

Mar 2nd, 2017 10m 10s

Trip(s) to the ER...

Episode 35 • Becoming Minority

Mar 2nd, 2017 10m 35s

"For the first time I began to wonder if this—all of this—was about more than sexuality. I began to wonder that maybe I'd been focused on the wrong thing all along. I began to wonder if this was more about the junk I'd been ignoring, than the o

Episode 34 • Warm Hands on Cold Shoulders

Mar 2nd, 2017 12m 16s

Thoughts on singleness and paying people to touch you...

Episode 33 • Not Perfect, But Extremely Rare

Mar 2nd, 2017 11m 49s

"When I understood that, I realized most of my stresses in life came from this subterranean sense of self-hate that I carried around with me each day. Being unaware of the self-hatred inside of you is like walking through life with a backpack f

Episode 32 • Community

Mar 2nd, 2017 10m 5s

"And I believed that, if God wanted to love me—to hug me—He'd do it through my community. His people would surround me. They'd carry me. They'd love and encourage me on hard days. They'd push me forward when I couldn't walk anymore. God uses co

Episode 31 • Adventuring

Mar 2nd, 2017 9m 27s

Brett devises a two-part plan to survive as a gay Christian...

Episode 30 • Who Needs Love?

Mar 2nd, 2017 11m 46s

"And so sometime around 30, I slammed the door. I slammed the door on love..."

Episode 29 • Lifeboats

Mar 2nd, 2017 23m 35s

Brett has the hardest coming out conversation of his life + a lesson on how to respond when your child comes out to you...

Episode 28 • Chocolate Gravy

Mar 2nd, 2017 17m 28s

"Jesus was so kind to me that day. He was so kind to send me a friend like Kelly. He was so kind to prepare that moment and those biscuits and that gravy. It's easy to get caught up in the ways God has let us down. And then, His grace comes cra

Episode 27 • Getting Real in London

Mar 2nd, 2017 17m 21s

Brett travels to Europe with a friend + an unforgettable night in London's oldest pub (NOTE: This episode is highly visual, and audio listeners are highly encouraged to visit the Episode 27 link on bluebabiespink.com to see the photos.)

Episode 26 • Waiting on Oranges

Mar 2nd, 2017 13m 20s

Can God make a gay person straight?

Episode 25 • Finding a New Track

Mar 2nd, 2017 11m 20s

"I would have done anything to just not be alone, to have at least 1% of hope that I wouldn't feel like this forever. And people who have felt hopeless before know that 1% of hope is a whole lot of hope. That's all I needed, but the Bible was c

Episode 24 • Lonely Practice

Mar 2nd, 2017 17m 58s

Brett practices for a lifetime of loneliness—at an isolated cabin in the mountains and at a football stadium surrounded by 100k people...

Episode 23 • Unlearning How to Throw a Football

Mar 2nd, 2017 11m 20s

"And still other failures feel like brands seared deep into the soft flesh of our souls. After the initial pain, they scab over, then scar over. And looking at it each day, we get used to it. It begins to look more like a birthmark than a brand

Episode 22 • Secret Sadness

Feb 3rd, 2017 10m 38s

"Closets are dark, and when the gay child—or in my case, young professional—decides to stuff his soul in there, it has a warping effect. It forces you deeper inside yourself. You become a mapless soul in a haunted maze, and you lose your bearin