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How to CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS | Feel Confident Always

How to CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS | Feel Confident Always

Released Friday, 24th June 2022
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How to CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS | Feel Confident Always

How to CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS | Feel Confident Always

How to CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS | Feel Confident Always

How to CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS | Feel Confident Always

Friday, 24th June 2022
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

welcome

0:01

to to the the effortless an english, show with the the world's

0:03

number one teacher aj

0:05

hoge where aj's is more than 40 million

0:08

worldwide, finally, learn english once

0:10

and and for all that, the the boring textbooks classrooms

0:13

and grammar drill here's a jay

0:15

with a a quick piece to to help you learn and speak fluent

0:17

english effortlessly

0:20

control your

0:23

emotions, in

0:26

feelings this

0:28

is today's topic and

0:31

it it comes from again our

0:33

or book club the tony robbins

0:35

book notes from a a friend

0:37

this is problem

0:39

no problem this is one

0:42

of of favorite tony

0:44

robbins techniques one of

0:46

my favorite tony robbins teachings

0:49

this is one i use lot that

0:51

i have used lot the past that i still use

0:53

it because it's this is

0:58

sort the most difficult things

1:01

in life sometimes is our emotions

1:03

right we make we mentally

1:06

no means we intellectually

1:09

know what to do right

1:12

so maybe we know for example we

1:14

know that eating sugar

1:17

a lot will make us fat it's unhealthy

1:20

but then we get the emotional craving

1:22

right the physical and emotional craving

1:25

for it or maybe we have a habit that

1:27

when we're bored when were depressed

1:30

we eat sugar sugary food how

1:33

do change that you already know it's not good

1:35

and he already know what you need do but

1:38

it's the emotions many

1:41

time feelings emotions make

1:43

us do stupid

1:45

hanks makers do

1:47

things that know

1:49

hurt us long

1:51

term right something

1:53

feel good now

1:56

frayed now to do

1:58

something we know we should the are

2:01

really something feel good now

2:03

and we do it even we know it's not healthy

2:05

long term right this is a

2:07

very big problem since this

2:09

is one of the problems with i think ya

2:14

like normal psychology and psychiatry

2:17

the , mental health industry

2:20

industry so focused on talking and talk therapy

2:23

and talking about problems and they

2:25

have that that the a they have

2:28

this belief so many psychologists many

2:30

psychiatrists have many belief that

2:32

if you understands your problems

2:35

write it that then you could you will

2:37

get better, right? that

2:39

that's the main issue is high his

2:42

are you know, gaining

2:44

a call in sight, right seeing

2:47

and understanding what's and

2:51

and then then you'll do

2:53

the right thing but that's not true

2:56

i think most of us who are are reasonably

2:59

intelligent we

3:03

then figure out problems

3:06

in our life we can

3:08

sit and think about it and we can figure

3:11

out you know what

3:13

we should do what we should

3:15

not do but then we don't do it that's

3:18

because of the emotion so as the emotional

3:22

control that is

3:24

often our problem in life

3:27

it's the emotions that

3:30

ah this to do bad things

3:32

have bad habits unhealthy

3:35

settings make bad choices

3:38

right

3:40

like someone doesn't feel confident

3:42

you can tell them like miss a of young man

3:44

and he wants a girlfriend he wants to date

3:46

he wants to get married some day but he's

3:49

shy any has no confidence

3:51

and so you can pull

3:53

him just go talk

3:55

to girls and say this and do that

3:57

you can give him a lot of strategies right

4:00

and they're all good strategies but

4:02

the problem is he has

4:04

no confidence so he's not going to do it

4:07

he's going see a girl and

4:09

he has has good information in his head

4:11

but he doesn't do it he still is afraid to go

4:13

talk to the girl or tries to talk

4:15

to her body so nervous that

4:18

know he look foolish right

4:21

so it's the emotion in this case the

4:23

motion of fear though lack

4:25

of confidence feeling weak feeling afraid

4:27

feeling nervous that's the problem

4:29

that caught that's why he can't

4:32

solve this problem that's why he can't achieve

4:35

his goal is the emotion

4:37

is same in job interview right

4:40

you might be really good your

4:42

job

4:43

it might be very good you might be the best person

4:45

for the job but

4:48

that maybe go to the job interview your

4:50

so nervous

4:52

during the interview that

4:55

you you don't they

4:57

everything you need you should say you don't

4:59

sell yourself you don't look

5:01

good in a job

5:03

why does because of the emotion the nervousness

5:06

the fear the worry it

5:10

it

5:10

causes a problem even though mentally right

5:12

you actually are very good at the job

5:16

right those this is a big question

5:18

house how do we manage our emotions

5:20

and then let us pray better word than control

5:23

is minutes and we manage our

5:25

emotions

5:30

so let's get into it now let's go to the

5:32

tony robbins chapter will talk about because

5:34

it's actually a very very simple techniques

5:37

and i have found this technique that's my like

5:39

it's it's simple and effective this

5:41

is something you can do and

5:43

so many situations in life to

5:46

change how your ceiling and

5:49

if it and i'll as i'd really like this twenty

5:51

robbers take me this is one i find it very

5:53

very practical

5:55

very useful very helpful

5:57

in everyday life

6:02

there we go

6:05

our it for the name of the chapter

6:07

is welcome to state

6:09

of you the

6:12

you are using the word state in

6:15

a different way than you might

6:17

know so

6:20

pragma maybe the most common way of using

6:22

the word state the most common meaning

6:25

is like an area in country

6:27

right like america has city states

6:31

but state can also mean

6:34

ah

6:36

the habit of

6:38

emotion your it we sweet we use the phrase

6:40

your emotional state your

6:43

emotional state it means condition

6:46

right or situation

6:50

it means what emotions do you have right now

6:52

so if you change your state you

6:55

, you feel as he might say he's in very

6:57

nervous state it means he's feeling

6:59

very nervous nervous he's

7:01

a he's in very enthusiastic

7:03

state right it means

7:05

emotionally he ceiling enthusiastic

7:10

right

7:12

so this is about emotions so

7:14

here's what other is other is great phrase

7:16

it's great little tony robbins saying as mp

7:21

a near link in l p

7:24

thing we , realize

7:26

that emotion this is

7:28

created by motion for

7:31

those nice little sayings emotion

7:34

ceilings the motion

7:37

is created by motion

7:39

movement ceilings are created

7:41

by movement is another way to say

7:43

that ceilings are created

7:47

by movement

7:50

so this is an interesting idea if

7:52

you have my book you know that i talked about this quite a

7:54

lot if have one my any my courses

7:57

you know that i talk about this it

7:59

is this is part of courses i make you move

8:01

your body in , in certain

8:03

ways ways this is why

8:06

this chapter will tell you why you're doing that

8:09

because changes your emotions it

8:11

changes created by motion in other words what kind of movement

8:13

we talking about physical moment the

8:15

movement of your body specifically we're

8:17

talking about physical movements

8:20

movement affects our bodies

8:22

chemistry so

8:25

this we're talking about

8:28

physical activities such as running

8:30

or flapping are jumping so big movements

8:34

also very small movements

8:37

like for example the muscles in your face

8:39

how you move the muscles in your face

8:42

for example of you're smiling or

8:44

if you your make a frown

8:47

right where you look unhappy

8:50

the very small movement of your face

8:53

it will actually change how you feel

8:56

inside if you do

8:58

that long enough and strongly

9:00

enough

9:02

so this is as the main message of

9:04

this whole chapter and

9:06

ah it's

9:09

simple as via like is simple and it works

9:12

so another way to say this he says emotions

9:15

are affected by the body

9:18

emotions are eager think what is an

9:20

emotion

9:23

what is a ceiling

9:25

what have will don't even think about that like what exactly

9:28

is ceiling what

9:30

is happening inside you

9:32

when you feel nervous when

9:34

you feel afraid if

9:38

this is why i think meditation can

9:40

be very very helpful for understanding

9:42

yourself and understanding your

9:44

own mind and how it works because

9:47

when you meditate you will realize

9:49

that you have thoughts

9:51

that come into your head right that

9:53

are thoughts can be

9:55

language so might think i'm

9:58

stupid that that

10:00

language you're thinking in your own language i'm

10:02

stupid that's a thought self is a

10:04

language thought but

10:06

you cannot think and pictures so

10:09

you could just in your brain you might have a a

10:11

picture of a tree in your head it's

10:14

that's a visual thought

10:17

there that the language thought

10:19

is also sound bought right

10:22

ugly so but you can also just think

10:24

of a sound could think of a piece of music

10:26

for example nonsense that don't dance

10:28

dance dance dance better than sun than

10:30

sun at around sentence done you could just

10:32

think that in your head silently and

10:34

that's an audio thoughts right

10:39

so we have these thoughts

10:41

but then we also have when

10:44

talk about feelings what we talking about

10:46

we're really talking about vibrations

10:49

and energy in our body is

10:51

our bodies and when we put

10:53

together

10:54

physical feelings right like hats

10:56

yeah you're in other words your body might feel

10:58

warm your my body might feel colds

11:01

you might steal your heart beating faster

11:04

or slower you might

11:06

feel a lot like attention

11:08

like tightness in your chest

11:10

and your next or you

11:12

the opposite you might feel a looseness

11:15

a relaxation in

11:17

your body which typically feels good rights

11:19

often knows that that their sin sin

11:22

in parts of bodies like see lot people

11:24

are very tense in their stomach

11:26

area where they're breathing and this makes the breathing

11:28

a little the little bit shallow

11:30

little bit it a little hard

11:34

right so there's all these physical feelings

11:36

happening in your body

11:39

and then we connect them to the thoughts we

11:41

have when you put those two together that's

11:43

a feeling that's an emotion it's those

11:45

two things together so

11:48

for example let's say your heart's beating fast

11:51

if you if you're doing meditation years setting

11:54

and you're just noticing and you and

11:56

you the bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum

11:58

right the feel that kind of

12:01

our increased energy

12:03

increase vibration in your body explicitly

12:05

in your chest what

12:07

emotion is that what feeling is that

12:13

where you don't know yet it's

12:16

just so far a just that is just energy

12:18

that's just physical ah

12:20

of physical with ceiling

12:22

on any unforeseen english we use the same word

12:27

what the think the physical sensation

12:29

right assistant vibration and movement

12:31

in your body there's no

12:33

emotion without there's

12:35

only emotion if you attach that's

12:39

do it so for example

12:41

if bomb you're

12:44

about to get on if if you're

12:47

the if if you're imagining

12:50

ah i'm an exciting

12:53

with they get you're you're going on a date and

12:57

you're imagining the day and you're imagining

12:59

that girl the guy for the dates

13:01

and you're imagining and you're thinking about how great

13:03

it's gonna be and how wonderful and or this

13:05

is gonna be awesome mike's this person so wonderful

13:09

those are a positive thoughts and then

13:11

you have the feelings your heart's beating faster

13:14

these vibration this increased energy

13:16

what will you say you're feeling you probably say you're

13:18

feeling excited the really excited

13:20

about this day

13:23

but if you have the same thing happening in

13:25

your body's increased vibration

13:27

your heart's beating faster but senior

13:30

your thoughts you're thinking you're thinking

13:32

negative things you're imagining oh

13:35

my god like got what they don't like

13:37

me i would have i'm says

13:39

i'm i'm i'm not that looking i'm

13:41

ugly oh i don't make much money they're

13:43

not gonna lie to me then

13:46

what would you say you're feeling is your emotions

13:48

you probably would say you're feeling nervous

13:51

or something like that rights because

13:53

the ceiling inside your body the physical

13:55

feeling the same but the thoughts

13:57

are now negative so you

13:59

can

14:01

kind of feel similar certain

14:03

but the it's

14:05

the thoughts plus the physical bodies

14:08

that's what creates emotion is the two

14:10

together so how can you change your

14:12

emotions if you're feeling nervous

14:14

how can you

14:15

range it for you don't feel nervous anymore while

14:18

you the of two ways of doing it you could

14:20

try to affect your body your can move your

14:22

body in different ways and this

14:24

well scenes how

14:26

you feel and

14:28

can also try to just change or thinking and

14:30

it's he can also do both in

14:33

this chapter going to talk about how it's just changing

14:35

your body will start to change

14:37

the thoughts and this will also

14:39

change your emotions

14:41

it's a treaty will track love the six

14:44

okay so he said years ago tony says

14:46

years ago one the most important ways

14:48

i changed my life was

14:50

to change the pattern of

14:52

the way i moved away

14:55

i gestured right using his hands

14:57

when he speaks the way i spoke

15:01

the first it felt silly itself strange

15:04

like i was pretending that

15:06

little by little it became natural he

15:09

feed what i did is i simply

15:12

copied what i saw

15:14

other people doing i copied

15:16

extremely confident people did

15:19

mimic to their mimic means to copy

15:21

them exactly ah

15:24

the here's a clue so

15:26

thing he wanted to feel comforted

15:28

more confident but he he didn't feel confident

15:30

maybe so nervous maybe week

15:35

so one important thing he did as he

15:38

noticed he studied

15:40

confident people people

15:42

who appear coffin we never

15:44

know what's going on inside somebody's but sweet

15:47

we certainly we can seal confidence right

15:49

you can feel when someone's very confident

15:51

when they're when they're strong rights

15:54

so

15:56

he studied those people and what specifically

15:58

said is how they move how

16:01

did they use their hands when they talked how

16:03

did they stance right

16:05

do they have their head down all the time today

16:08

talk with a quiet voice know

16:10

coffin and people you they their shoulders back

16:13

to the of powering the seal recognize what i'm

16:15

saying ah i'm

16:17

if you have my courses you'll now i talked about this allots

16:20

they have their shoulders back the have their typically

16:22

have their head up when they talk to people they look

16:24

them they eye or they you know you look their

16:26

faces their not looking down at ground

16:29

and they move in a way that's that's

16:32

strong right that's different

16:34

than someone who's shy someone who's

16:36

nervous stands in a different way

16:38

someone who's depressed they

16:41

physically look different that's why

16:43

you in it you can be in a room on

16:45

the other side of a room of you know and

16:47

you can look someone and can say

16:49

are they looked depressed how do you know

16:52

this by that is how they're standing

16:54

how they're moving we don't even

16:56

need to talk to you can look

16:58

at someone else and say wow that person's very comforting

17:02

how you know just by looking their

17:04

face and how they're moving how are they moving

17:06

their face how are they moving their hands when they talks

17:08

how are they standing how they walk

17:13

what's interesting is that it's not just

17:15

appearance when you stand

17:17

in this different way when you stand in confident

17:19

way when you use your face and a confident

17:21

way when you speak with strong confident

17:24

voice your just copying it's you're pretending

17:26

like an actor in the beginning

17:28

it feels weird

17:30

but when you do this when you do it as a habit

17:33

when used do it again and again and again you

17:35

actually will feel differently inside

17:38

you will actually feel more confident

17:41

the physical movements seems

17:43

your body chemistry the physical

17:45

movement

17:46

changes your thoughts your

17:49

focus the physical movement

17:51

just the movement the wave standing

17:54

in the way of moving and the way of

17:56

using your face will make

17:59

you feel better

18:00

you will feel better you'll feel happier

18:02

you'll feel more confident just by changing

18:05

how you move and stand habitually

18:08

meaning you know

18:11

consistently just doing it for

18:13

ten seconds you

18:15

might be a little better but it's not gonna make a

18:17

big change but when you make these this

18:19

way a habit when make it a habit

18:22

to have your shoulders back in your head up and

18:24

to have a strong confident voice

18:27

in the look at people the face or the eyes

18:29

when you build this habit over time

18:32

when you're copies people like tony robbins

18:34

and other very confident people and you

18:36

make yourself move like them and sound

18:38

like them you'll start to

18:40

feel like that the

18:43

a little trick of psychology that and

18:45

it's simple thing to do is why

18:47

i like it

18:49

you don't need to analyze your past you don't

18:51

need solve all your problems from your childhood

18:54

you , don't have do or anything

18:56

like that you can just focus on

18:59

something very obvious very simple

19:03

how you move how you use

19:05

your face use voice and your body

19:09

and in this way change how you feel

19:11

most the time so this is a great

19:13

technique that anyone can do this via like

19:17

and he says here's tony again he says by

19:20

moving the same way someone

19:22

else does you

19:25

will start to have this same

19:27

feelings that they have

19:31

isn't that interesting so if you move like

19:33

confident person you'll

19:35

start to feel confident more

19:37

and more conference if you move

19:39

like a shy person you will start

19:41

to feel more shy if you move like weak

19:44

person you'll feel more week if

19:46

you move like strong person you'll feel stronger

19:50

very interesting so

19:53

what's the point what's the solution that

19:55

here's here's what you should do fine

19:58

those people who are successful

20:02

and model meaning copy

20:04

the physiology of their confidence

20:06

physiology means the body how

20:08

they move how they in all their

20:10

voices physical the physical body cop

20:13

be that they're

20:15

gestures copy their breathing copy

20:17

how they walk copy how they speak

20:20

copy , face scylla how they use their

20:22

face with smile i do they do

20:25

they you know they put their

20:27

head down or have their head up most the times

20:29

all of these things top be how they move

20:31

like this is what actors do right

20:34

how does an actor a good really

20:36

good actor how does a

20:38

change in make you think there's someone

20:40

else

20:42

they make you think that there are sad person

20:44

or confident person start you know

20:47

the actor might not be such a great

20:49

person but they can make you think they're

20:51

great the actors probably not

20:53

big hero but they can

20:56

make you think they're here

20:59

lot it is how they move and talk

21:01

and right

21:03

if

21:04

you'd if instead of like an actor

21:06

if he acted as the short term and

21:08

then they go and they do it again and with somebody else

21:10

and and different characters the time but

21:12

what did he just did discount constantly for

21:14

long time for like months and years

21:17

just focus on being positive

21:19

enthusiastic confident person

21:22

moving like them sounding like them you

21:24

would become a more confident so

21:26

these yeah stick person's just by

21:28

doing this

21:30

yes there other things you can do other things

21:32

you should do also but i like this

21:34

technique because it works quickly and

21:37

it's simple so this so this good one to start

21:39

with i usually start with this if i

21:41

have problem in life

21:46

paint the physical part first because it's

21:48

usually the simplest and easiest thing

21:50

to do get started so if

21:52

you're feeling really down really depressed

21:55

like your ears is not your you're having you're having time

21:57

in your life right now ah

22:00

recommend start physical you can eat you

22:02

can think like how well how do start

22:04

had rights and change my life how

22:06

do i get things positive again and

22:09

, can be overwhelming like what should i do

22:11

what actions should i take the first

22:13

thing first recommend is start with your body start

22:15

with this

22:17

change your emotions by changing how

22:19

how you're feeling physically i

22:21

would add you could also it's in you could

22:23

change your movement your can also change how you

22:25

eat how you're exercising right

22:28

this this also this your body right

22:31

and then when start changing that you start feeling

22:33

stronger and better physically then

22:35

you got some energy now you're ready you can change

22:38

other things changing yourself mentally

22:40

changing your habits digging

22:42

other accents right so you

22:44

can do all that

22:47

all right let's get into our comments and questions now

22:50

i don't want to go to long today gotta take my kids out

22:59

the

22:59

welcome everyone is watching live on you

23:01

tube by way if you listen my audio

23:03

podcast is the audio ah

23:06

i apologize i'm

23:07

i'm kind late adding the

23:10

shows onto my audio podcast

23:12

i've got us edit them a little bit and

23:15

, upload them again and it takes time

23:17

so much much their you

23:19

tube is always up to date because i do this lives

23:22

so it's always currents and

23:24

by i think i've got about five six shows

23:26

and need to put on the audio podcast

23:30

the weather podcast audio podcast is

23:32

little behind as the i'll i'll update

23:35

the our latest

23:38

oh utterly ramos gives another

23:40

gives a book recommendation which i'll have to

23:43

check out

23:45

permission to feel by

23:47

mark bracket is an excellent book

23:49

to learn how we can regulate emotions

23:52

i'll check it out permission to

23:54

seal i

23:57

check it out on amazon right now

24:00

permission to steal

24:02

sounds interesting listen

24:05

to feel in books

24:08

by mark bracket now check it out for

24:11

the recommendation

24:16

good morning uma off good to see you

24:18

like all our regular people gina get to see

24:21

you

24:23

i do live stream scheduled as

24:25

odie nope it i just pretty

24:28

my doesn't my doesn't when i have time since

24:30

this this is said kana random

24:35

nancy says are high from morelia

24:37

mexico mexico i love your topics

24:39

greetings each day my speaking improving that's

24:42

great great great nancy good

24:44

luck keep going

24:47

oh yeah are several people from mexico today

24:50

sergio garcia

24:52

you're the best greetings from us who

24:55

had process lot

24:58

like color the color maker

25:04

lena get to see as as i try to control my

25:06

emotions by counting to ten saying

25:08

the myself every negative idea that damages

25:10

my brain and gives me cortisol

25:13

yes here this is another thing another technique

25:15

you can do accounting ten but you can also

25:17

try to us our focus on your breathing

25:19

and breathe more deeply the could it

25:21

have a physical effect when you breathe

25:28

we should be deep breaths like that

25:30

since the calm your body

25:33

which will change motions so exactly

25:43

the gym jay says i love this topic emotional

25:46

intelligence that's another great way to describe

25:48

it in this way i could control my

25:50

emotions like the saying says don't

25:52

let your emotions overpower your intelligence

25:56

your mot logical mind verser motion or hearts

25:58

that's hearts great way to say it

26:00

saying eggs great that says exactly

26:02

what happens to us right most

26:04

of us are smart enough to

26:06

, you know we know

26:08

basic yes there's lot debate

26:10

about nutrition you can debate owes vegetarian

26:13

better than paleo ba

26:15

ba ba right but we also know we

26:17

know in general processed

26:19

food is bad for us to lots sugar

26:21

is bad for as we know in general

26:23

there general lot of stuff and yet we all

26:26

eat that stuff for most his do it sometimes

26:28

rights we sometimes rights do things we

26:30

know are not great physicists

26:34

in the but why is because the emotion overpowers

26:36

our intelligence or intelligence knows

26:39

i sit and do this then

26:41

we do it anyway because of emotions or

26:43

the opposite happens we know we

26:45

should do something i should do that it be great

26:48

if i exercise every day but i

26:50

feel lazy the

26:51

we don't do it the emotion winds so

26:54

this this very important topic because

26:56

ah the our

26:59

most our intelligence you know

27:01

if we will most of us are have enough intelligence

27:04

that , we don't have as the emotional intelligence

27:06

or the emotional discipline and

27:09

this and we get trouble and have problems

27:11

in our lives where we create lot of problems

27:13

for ourselves

27:16

them

27:17

come alive always good see you says when

27:19

listen your power english lessons they always have my

27:21

motivations very gray as your lessons

27:23

inspire me thank you thank you adam

27:26

and , know in in in both my powering

27:28

a specially empowering was and vip

27:32

i ever you know most

27:34

lessons i encourage you the

27:36

beginning to move your by the stand

27:38

up to smile me sometimes

27:40

smile ask you to jump around and do these things

27:43

this is why this once you to be

27:45

and strong confident happy energetic

27:49

the emotional condition emotional

27:51

state as you learn english

27:53

as import

28:13

let's see

28:16

other than sing ogres as was insane

28:18

question it's something i'm dealing with now

28:20

too little bits i have problem my child

28:23

is very social the

28:26

in general is a good thing by the way she's

28:28

three years old the same age my children

28:32

but it's very frightening to me because

28:34

as she talks with unknown men and women

28:36

many them can be dangerous or dangerous pervert

28:40

right exactly

28:42

because that three years

28:44

old because you're good mom our

28:47

you know she's had very safe i'm

28:51

assuming wonderful childhood so didn't

28:53

know about this they don't understand it

28:55

right and this is problem it is a problem

28:57

because us kids are understand that since

29:00

not everybody's nice like mom dad or

29:02

like grandma and you know they

29:06

they don't understand so it can be little harder to

29:08

my kids are exposing the exact same thing

29:10

and maybe it's maybe normal thing for this age

29:12

split my kids used be more shy and

29:14

nervous about the

29:16

known people they would they wouldn't

29:18

even play with other kids now suddenly

29:20

they're like just walk up the anybody

29:22

is start talking to a place

29:24

they walk better kids that's not to prompt

29:27

but they'll do it with adults to right

29:29

so the any as any as you become

29:31

nervous because you're like well i got you

29:33

know said careful

29:37

though

29:39

it's normal to feel nervous about it you should feel nervous

29:41

about it because it's our job to teach them and you

29:44

can try to explain you know that we

29:46

have to be careful people we don't know and

29:48

he teach them that better three years

29:50

old they don't quite understand

29:52

that so so little bit of a challenging

29:54

time because at that age we just have to

29:57

be near them he can't let them run

29:59

around without

30:00

that be their eyes

30:02

on them all the time right for

30:04

many reasons as

30:07

they

30:08

get a little older and can understand more

30:10

more language more ideas

30:13

you can start teach them about here

30:15

no he can't just trust everybody automatically

30:18

there's difference between strangers and

30:20

mom and dad sit and your

30:22

brothers and sisters i family

30:27

oh god you say you know having the

30:29

same issue is with my kids and

30:32

i just i

30:34

just stay near them if they go up and talk to an adult men

30:36

i walk over there and i'm ah i'm

30:39

standing right next to him

30:41

right watching and you know here's

30:43

the thing you can get feeling right as an adult occasionally

30:45

adult occasionally feeling like this this person this adults

30:48

little weird right

30:50

and then i just say okay have an optic

30:52

my kid up and say oh thank you

30:54

i'm i'm polite and less because ,

30:56

not doing anything bad but i just

30:58

have feeling like that he knows personal

31:00

strange i have dispersants

31:03

dispersants autistic my kid in and say okay well nice

31:05

meeting you and then walk away smith's

31:07

right seaweed it

31:09

just requires some extra work at this age this think

31:11

so think think it's good thing

31:14

to have that nervousness because

31:16

it's it's nervousness it's it's good instinct ten just

31:18

done

31:21

a having amazes can be tough for of maybe a

31:23

couple years until you can

31:25

really teach them how to be

31:27

careful careful about this

31:39

yeah pablo great see you

31:41

as always pablo replace says the body

31:43

mind connection the body

31:45

follows the mind the mind follows

31:48

the body yeah exactly they they

31:50

both affect each other the trick is

31:52

to change emotions from body thanks

31:54

for sharing that's exactly true you can also

31:56

of course you can change your body with your mind

32:00

what do that well like so for

32:02

example let's say again

32:04

you're you're physically

32:07

very excited and nervous you

32:09

could just close your eyes and think

32:12

about hunting very calm

32:14

right like the com beads or something

32:17

and focus your mind on your

32:19

breathing not

32:21

really do anything physically but

32:23

just with your thoughts you could calm

32:25

down your body the goes both

32:27

ways that's exactly right i is

32:29

just as i find like pablo saying i

32:32

agree with pablo that the top

32:34

and the harder to change

32:36

our minds sometimes explicitly

32:38

when we have a high emotion

32:41

strong emotions right it's it's

32:43

i can be hard to do i'll give you example

32:46

his public speaking the when i

32:48

owe you know speak to a group of people when i

32:50

you equity first in the past when i was more

32:52

nervous about it and

32:55

feeling nervous before speaking

32:57

and of course like you know

32:59

know okay why should think positive thoughts

33:01

and ah you know try to

33:06

calm myself down and and and relax

33:08

but very hard to do when you're feeling very

33:10

nervous and and you know what couple minutes

33:12

gotta go talk to everybody so i

33:14

found that it was much easier instead

33:17

to just change my body don't

33:20

try to fight the nervousness instead i would just

33:22

start jumping around and split my shoulders back

33:24

and smile and jump around and get

33:26

excited and like yeah yeah i'm

33:28

excited and doing all these very big

33:30

says eagles actions so

33:32

that

33:33

my body was still high energy

33:35

but instead of feeling nervous i would start

33:37

to feel more excited more confident

33:40

and was just because i would ah

33:43

she a try use that energy and move

33:46

and different way i just would move and different way

33:48

and jump and get excited and yeah and

33:50

all these movements are copy tony

33:52

robbins alliance exactly what he says this

33:55

book you know copy somebody who's confident

33:58

for long time for public

34:00

speaking i copied him because he the great

34:02

public speaker is could conference

34:04

so you know like was like little mini

34:06

and little the , tony robbins for

34:09

several years where my style

34:11

speaking was very similar to

34:13

him of course not the same because i'm a different

34:15

person but i was copying him very

34:18

consciously and now i don't need

34:20

to do that anymore because i got my style

34:22

and ah of i'm confident

34:25

now i'm not nervous about speaking to

34:27

about cameraman nervous about speaking to group

34:31

but in the beginning and for a while

34:33

it's very good technique and very to will help

34:35

lot though don't worry about copping

34:37

some buddies movements

34:40

are and how they talk it's it's it's

34:42

totally fine to do that

34:46

you just year guess you

34:49

the higher you your ottomans

34:51

your soul us your

34:53

career high as consciousness is just start

34:55

using that mind body connection

34:57

mind an intelligent way the get

34:59

what you want

35:07

our haley's ask how can i

35:10

control my emotions before crowd

35:12

like talking to i just so bad exactly

35:14

what told you is ah

35:18

in my opinion it's indexer same the beginning

35:21

when you're starting to do public speaking

35:23

and in you could be possibly

35:25

very very very nervous i

35:28

, to calm down in

35:30

my experience doesn't work

35:32

it's too difficult to relax

35:35

in that situation when you feel so

35:38

much the summers nervous energy

35:40

inside you so i find it's

35:42

much better to just try to

35:44

change that energy use it in

35:46

a more positive way so instead

35:48

being nervous you feel excited because

35:51

excitement is also a very high

35:53

energy ceiling rights trying

35:55

to go from high energy like nerve super

35:57

nervous and and calm down

35:59

to we energy is hard

36:01

to do in the moment

36:04

equally ah ,

36:07

easier to go from high energy negative

36:09

like nervous and just change it to

36:11

high energy positive like guy

36:13

enthusiastic excited as much

36:15

easier to do quickly in the

36:17

moment in difficult situation

36:20

so you do that by jumping around and moving

36:22

around coffin away copy tony robbins how

36:24

he moves and analyze

36:26

that is that's very sector

36:28

fuckin work very well

36:30

and yeah when you speak you might seem little bit

36:32

you are super energetic

36:34

and little bit crazy but that's better than

36:36

nervous system and later you'll

36:39

learn that drop the energy down

36:41

little bit if you

36:43

want

36:48

as podcast says thanks

36:50

coach up wish your family

36:53

good health and happiness thank you very much

37:02

yeah didn't see them the obligated

37:04

the against that gives now the

37:06

the other side as when experiencing

37:08

a like an undesired

37:11

some emotion something you don't want

37:13

realize that can experience it see

37:15

notice it first then change your

37:17

attention this of this is using your now you're

37:19

you're thinking to change the feelings

37:22

change your attention to another topic relax

37:25

deep breath says using body

37:27

like breathing is a good one to use and

37:29

he can also change what you're thinking about

37:32

though you can use thoughts and physical

37:35

i just particularly like using the physical

37:37

i find it so simple oh

37:40

cool alexander

37:43

says a i recently traveled to the

37:45

us and visited your city athens

37:47

georgia course we

37:49

discussed in the car that he lived here

37:51

it wouldn't seem feeling as we're listening to the show

37:53

for years ah that's right i i

37:56

love athens athens as a nice little town

37:58

i hope you enjoyed your time there

38:00

the news not much of a tourist town i don't

38:02

know what you know like for

38:04

someone outside that are know there's nothing

38:06

too exciting about it

38:10

but i just found you know happens i

38:13

very much enjoyed my time i

38:16

when lived there and , still

38:18

consider athens georgia to be kind of my hometown

38:21

i moved lot as kid my parents moved around

38:23

lot so i don't really have like one

38:25

home town town

38:27

athens is the place i live the longest

38:29

in my life and i live there at

38:31

a very kind very important

38:34

time in my life you know kind of that college

38:37

age and young adults

38:39

in oh so a lot changes happening in my

38:41

life right so i always

38:43

keep lost my hometown i usually say it's athens

38:46

georgia it's nice

38:48

of him nice

38:50

little town in america

38:57

the young guy did that's nice that you got visit

38:59

pretty cool ah

39:04

got get me from a craze

39:07

such as it from brazil

39:09

thank you that

39:18

know what's happening sri lanka right now i don't know

39:21

mean i have a general idea from you

39:23

know internet stuff by i

39:26

have no idea of the details

39:31

yeah like lane or gives good point she

39:33

says we have some diseases physical

39:36

diseases depending

39:38

on or because of our psychology for

39:41

example stomachache headaches

39:43

we must controller emotion to protect ourselves

39:45

from suffering absolutely this

39:47

is another example this is the going the other

39:49

way how your thoughts and

39:51

emotions over

39:54

time not as one time but over

39:56

time will actually give you a

39:58

physical problem the

40:00

mind will create physical disease

40:02

a problem stomach aches officers

40:05

like sometimes very serious the

40:09

go

40:10

problems and diseases because you're just

40:12

thinking you're always angry or always

40:15

depressed it will start to

40:17

does it can affect your nervous system were

40:19

nervous mean you're here our immune systems

40:21

where your immune system drops and it's easier to

40:23

get sick so for example if you're always

40:26

thinking and you're always depressing was thinking

40:28

about negative things that will change your

40:30

immune system and it's easier to get us tickets

40:34

so that's right

40:36

we have to be careful about that

40:42

re not as it is yet alexander's or alexander

40:44

judges a visit cafe puccini to

40:46

cover the chinese actually in san francisco

40:49

which is when i see

40:51

when i started effortless english i was living

40:53

in san francisco so

40:55

i can be pretty not in athens happens

40:58

is well guess it is long before

41:00

effortless english it was when i was in my

41:02

twenties and

41:04

ah i guess early thirties

41:06

early thirties in georgia

41:10

so , when i was just was a social

41:12

worker i just started doing some

41:14

english teaching was traveling around the world a

41:16

lot and and in

41:18

university in grad school

41:20

so that's when lived in lived and

41:23

then lived in japan

41:25

and thailand korea thailand

41:27

later then i moved to san francisco

41:30

the deserves his co for about six years and

41:33

that's when started effortless english those my

41:35

late thirties or like thirty eight years old when i

41:37

lived san francisco cafe

41:40

puccini is in san francisco and

41:44

part of him cisco cut north beach

41:56

series is why don't you pray for healing

41:59

praying the other way

42:02

of doing that's exactly right breyer

42:05

freres done a if is you're doing

42:07

it right is very positive and

42:09

i will have physical effects on

42:11

you

42:17

come off as another way to control emotions

42:19

is not thinking about the past or the future

42:22

nothing about the past future plans

42:25

we have to do our best in the present moment

42:28

the present time make

42:30

plan but executed do it

42:32

right now yeah yeah the

42:34

which is very much meditation right so

42:37

this is another room sort way to control

42:39

your mind that

42:41

will affect your body

42:44

like if for example you know if if your problem as

42:46

you feel nervous lot times why we feel nervous

42:48

were thinking about the future and worrying about it to

42:50

be just focus on right now what's happening right

42:53

now miss you don't really does

42:55

nothing to worry about

43:04

the right nice to see you as always good

43:06

morning friday he says by

43:09

the sea has going a going well

43:11

thanks demo

43:14

summer here in japan so warm

43:16

and or it's my favorite time of year since

43:19

this crane us

43:30

fernando area's nice to see it has

43:32

i always try to control my emotions and not

43:34

let them control me i'm not robot

43:36

i have feelings and emotions yeah

43:38

was actually this is good point we're

43:41

not trying to get rid of emotions

43:43

of emotions not for can't get rid of them the

43:45

cat and , unhealthy to try

43:48

try is it's like that's why like the word

43:50

actually manage i like word manage

43:52

better than to than your

43:55

managing them right

43:57

them means that you are trying to

43:59

use emotions because remember emotions

44:01

it's just your thoughts plus

44:03

kind of physical energy oh

44:06

is you can't get rid

44:08

of physical energy your body you will have physical

44:10

ceiling the of physical sensations

44:13

feelings energy vibrations

44:15

in your body always and

44:17

you're always going have thoughts it

44:19

is something you'll learn if it went about meditating

44:21

people think meditating means you

44:23

get rid of all thoughts impossible

44:27

on our long term

44:29

it's impossible since it is it's not

44:31

about getting rid of your thoughts about noticing

44:33

and , your thoughts and what they

44:35

really are so it's

44:38

just about intelligently using your

44:40

thoughts and your physical body

44:43

to

44:46

you know to live in positive way to to

44:48

live how you want to get what you want

44:50

to do what you want to be the master of

44:52

yourself not controlled

44:54

by

44:55

emotions and thoughts that

44:57

just come and go you

44:59

know like the weather

45:05

it's in our is it if you want be philosophical

45:07

sit and think about a deeply

45:10

ah you can think about this the question

45:13

of i'm oh

45:16

okay we have our thoughts we

45:18

, i want to manage

45:20

my thoughts i want to

45:22

manage my emotions i want to control

45:24

my mind better or who is

45:26

or who is doing the controller

45:32

who are you really it your know if you're not

45:34

your thoughts and you're not your emotions

45:37

because he can come and go just almost

45:39

randomly ah you

45:41

can watch you movie and any feel sad

45:46

it

45:46

didn't just come out of you it came from the movie comes

45:48

from all these influences so and

45:50

if you have if you can control your emotions your

45:52

can control your thoughts well then what who

45:55

or what is doing the controlling right

45:58

mean you are something else

46:00

and indeed is a higher contrast your highest

46:02

consciousness right which

46:04

, traditionally it's called the soul

46:07

or the ottoman or spirits

46:09

whatever name you want use there's

46:11

something higher that you

46:13

are that i am that we all are something

46:16

higher then thought there's

46:18

something higher than emotions

46:21

and that higher self because

46:24

you really your true self the really are

46:26

that's what manages the emotions

46:29

that's what men as is your body that's of men

46:31

just sensations that's what is

46:33

watching and noticing all these things

46:35

that's what's analyzing these things that's

46:38

you really are it's

46:41

not that enormous

46:42

the word uses art man in

46:45

the west fine usually the word his soul

46:47

or spirit could

46:50

say higher conscious

46:53

ah you'll see some time the

46:56

true self and

46:59

buddhist will talk about that

47:06

your own alber elbaz says our

47:08

emotions controlled the digestive

47:10

system conditions oh yeah very

47:12

strong influence on your died systems

47:14

where feel nervous at

47:16

, in a particular situation like

47:18

going have public speaking i feel like i have

47:21

to go to bathroom poop sessa yeah

47:24

that's

47:24

the way you can see some people throw up

47:26

the i just watched starts era seen the movie rush

47:29

it's about a racecar

47:31

, as , based

47:34

on true story and that nikki louder

47:36

and james hunt i believe and

47:38

one of main characters before every race

47:40

he would be so so much energy excitement

47:42

and nervous as he would throw up

47:45

like it was every race he would throw have before

47:47

the race and so

47:51

yeah it was digestion

47:53

in your immune system can be

47:55

in a we ought that's why we and or english if you're nervous

47:57

we say our have butterflies in

47:59

my stomach we often feel it in

48:01

that stomach area right

48:07

a co op center did travel in san cisco

48:10

said in september we traveled to san francisco

48:12

and decided to visits cafe

48:15

puccini but it was closed forever

48:17

ah i was before the

48:19

pandemic ah

48:21

, true true know it had

48:23

they had a fire and

48:28

fire know they close i thought they reopened

48:31

little look thought up right now as

48:34

, thought it read somewhere that day

48:36

opened again

48:43

have bitchy see if

48:45

they're still open or not

48:52

oh yeah yeah offers describe this

48:54

location as close

48:56

to psych it's gone

48:59

in burton down i

49:02

thought they reopened

49:06

they

49:06

had fire and ice but as i swear

49:08

thought they reopened then maybe i'm wrong

49:15

yeah it looks like is gone

49:19

that's

49:23

tibet too bad

49:26

so they did not reopen up a apparently

49:29

this tibet

49:34

ah

49:36

aka weaker says i have learned

49:39

lot from aj since two thousand and

49:41

thirteen have been following his many stories

49:43

so long time my speaking has improved

49:45

a lot listening is the key indeed

49:48

thank you that's great congratulations to you

50:00

yeah this a good point the mushroom says

50:02

are for

50:04

managing your emotions specially bad

50:06

emotions negative we should understand

50:08

that ninety nine percent of bad

50:10

things that we think about we

50:13

imagine will not happen in

50:15

real life they won't happen i

50:18

, admit it from my personal experience i

50:20

this is specifically talking about worry in the future

50:22

this year we all have this experience we worry

50:24

about so many possible sayings

50:27

sayings things that might happen and most them never

50:29

do never so we do

50:31

spend a lot of time making ourselves feel bad

50:34

about things that will never happen yet

50:37

is or crazy isn't it

50:39

read ski a listener thank you for

50:41

the donation preceded

50:43

thank you so much two daughters thank you

50:54

there's

50:54

someone from korea for or says hello i'm

50:56

korean thanks for your content

50:58

you're welcome

51:08

ah ecuador

51:12

omni man

51:14

says is joe why still your friend yes

51:17

one of my best friends joe

51:20

and kristin both are

51:22

, they're not doing learn relinquish anymore

51:24

they they decided to stop doing that that

51:26

i still good friends talked them kristin

51:30

last week so yeah the

51:33

very very close friends and

51:36

still live san francisco

51:47

thousand rom dances i don't know

51:49

why it is so hard nowadays to tell

51:51

people about my job said

51:53

, to my emotions yeah well

51:56

as much or

51:58

what you mean why is it hard the are talking

52:00

like job interview something or just talk

52:02

about your job to other people ah

52:05

it probably is your emotions isn't

52:08

bad or if you're doing it in english maybe

52:10

you have some vocabulary you're missing

52:14

the best possible but as there's

52:16

need it's in your own language i'm guessing it would

52:18

be emotions that

52:26

lois as were actually living in the present

52:28

we split time in three different time

52:30

frames because of our ignorance past

52:32

and future is an illusion

52:39

and alexander's is sorry for news about cafe puccini

52:41

yeah me too i didn't i

52:43

, thought they had opened again again

52:46

knew about the fire but i thought they opened again but

52:49

that's too bad

52:56

go adams as i think i just i finished

52:58

your power english lessons now speaking english

53:00

all the time i'm happy thanks alot

53:02

thank you adam this great very good

53:07

i mean anything

53:13

santos as do i know brazil

53:15

i've never been to brazil

53:17

i know a bit about it aid do brazilian

53:20

jujitsu my instructors brazilian

53:23

ah so

53:28

that would have i so and i

53:30

know about i know about brazil have lot

53:32

brazilian students ah

53:35

so i'd like to visit brazil someday

53:40

and the

53:42

earlier this silver says hello to brazil

53:45

from indiana usa most

53:47

of my family's from indiana

53:51

louis says greetings from beautiful columbia

53:54

this is my first post for your channel thanks

53:56

lot for your content a

53:59

and your

54:00

it for helping us to improve our english and become

54:02

better people think you least as rain

54:04

us

54:14

a cop isn't fredy says by your

54:16

help and three motivational videos i

54:18

finally got myself into

54:20

one of into an american

54:22

university thanks lot and graduations

54:25

and enjoy opium good experience

54:29

fernando de his asks

54:32

who's supporting member here on the channels

54:35

i would

54:36

make a general question are

54:38

you still worrying about things that happen to you

54:40

one year ago is good quests

54:42

if your answers know why are you wearing now

54:44

it's worthless to worry too much is

54:46

a good point right if you actually look back

54:48

at like the stuff you worried

54:50

about about ago the

54:52

still worrying about now so many of these things

54:54

we thought which which is totally forget about we

54:57

worry worry worry it doesn't happen and then just

54:59

disappears we forget about is nothing

55:02

though all that worry was useless so

55:04

right

55:07

of course can be useful to think

55:09

about i'm

55:13

problem is that might come in future and

55:15

to prepare for them

55:17

the use less intelligent but what's

55:19

difference the differences the emotion right

55:23

it's when it's when when you did

55:25

just thinking about potential problems

55:28

and preparing for them that's quite

55:31

intelligent in many parts of life but

55:33

it's when we start getting afraid

55:36

and nervous and

55:38

depressed and negative about

55:40

it then , then we

55:42

don't think well then we don't actually

55:44

actually of good solutions we don't actually make

55:47

the plans because the emotion starts

55:49

to cause us to make bad decisions

55:52

so and it is minute specs or body

55:54

and bad ways so thinking

55:56

ahead is totally fine and useful

55:59

it's just the emotional

56:01

part that's the problem

56:05

here it is brazil loves you think

56:08

you

56:11

would you like to go back the usa x alexander

56:14

for visit but not the lists swell

56:16

i say there's one place i could live in america

56:19

, why oh

56:22

my my wife and i before the kids we

56:24

lived in hawaii for a short time just a year

56:27

but , love hawaii why

56:29

is a special place if

56:31

had to go back to america for some reason that's

56:34

where i would live his wide live in hawaii

56:36

the rest of the country i'll visit

56:38

family and friends there

56:40

but friends don't wanna live there

56:43

how i feel like i kind of different

56:45

country honestly necessity

56:56

when it oh god makes us experience says

56:58

oh creates experiences to for

57:00

us to control ourselves but if we don't analyze

57:02

our thoughts and learn from them we won't

57:05

have the best a

57:08

funny i have you ever visited africa

57:10

an african country i have not

57:13

i have not visited africa and have not visited

57:15

south america to whole continents

57:17

sister that i'm missing since

57:20

of it from my travels this so

57:22

you know right now

57:24

my kids too small to travel but and at

57:26

it's little hard to travel still now hopefully

57:29

things open up more i'd love

57:31

to visit both know my friends kristin

57:33

job have visited some places in africa

57:35

think they were gonna molly

57:38

morocco anyway

57:41

they loved it they said was great so ah

57:44

anna as i said would love to visit brazil

57:47

and columbia ah

57:49

, you know ruby funded is travel around

57:51

south america in general i think so

57:54

and i still have lots places i can visit

57:56

at new places the try some day

57:59

maybe when kids get a the older

58:11

okay mary z also

58:13

supporting thank you says how can you control

58:15

emotions towards your loved ones

58:17

is my birthday today and my loved ones didn't say

58:20

a word about it the sauce assess

58:23

anger for example well as same

58:25

as with ah with any

58:28

, situation of

58:30

a are sometimes these emotions are natural

58:33

then

58:33

you'll naturally have to change i'm i'm

58:35

immediately skyn feel angry

58:37

for a while someone does something bad you can

58:39

feel angry think that's actually healthy

58:42

for a while the problem is if you keep

58:44

holding onto the anger too long

58:46

minute start to change

58:48

you and make you unhappy long term

58:51

than it's hurting you right a

58:53

little anger can give you some energy

58:56

but i think the key point is to it

58:59

make an intelligent decision use the energy

59:01

of the anger and intelligent way in

59:04

this case for example you might to say hey

59:06

you guys forgot my birthday i'm

59:09

upset be ,

59:11

they love that you guys for birthday that is my

59:13

birthday nobody said anything and

59:16

maybe i'll apologize or whatever writes

59:18

ah but just don't but just was they

59:20

don't keep it in don't don't know

59:22

the do any don't do anything bad but just just

59:24

sister be honest and say i'm upset

59:26

you guys forgot my birthday today

59:30

echo fact he look that

59:32

i'm angry whatever

59:37

they

59:38

did wasn't your podcast sometimes it doubles speed

59:40

and i still understand that that's great but

59:43

you

59:46

yeah we not interesting we're

59:50

not is i is talking about

59:52

actually the next topic in this book in the

59:54

next chapter says i have noticed me times

59:56

that the language i am speaking affects

59:59

the motion

1:00:01

don't even talk about that and the next after this

1:00:03

book is about exactly this when i

1:00:05

speak english i feel and act differently compared

1:00:07

the same situations when use my

1:00:09

mother tongue yep and

1:00:12

not only that even in your mother tongue stone

1:00:14

language

1:00:16

what vocabulary use how you

1:00:18

say some things will change how you feel

1:00:21

right like for example of a small example

1:00:24

would be like

1:00:26

mary descent okay

1:00:28

so family forgot her birthday

1:00:31

she could say i'm very angry

1:00:33

or he could say i'm i'm a little upset

1:00:37

the describe what's happening right if she says

1:00:39

i'm little upset i'm a little upset a little upset

1:00:42

it actually will bring the script

1:00:44

the has the emotion down little

1:00:46

bit a little less strong if she says i'm

1:00:48

super angry and she

1:00:50

uses those words super angry it

1:00:52

will actually make her feel more angry

1:00:55

it'll make the emotion stronger the choice

1:00:57

of vocab the choice of words

1:01:00

can affect it but we'll talk about that and the next chapter

1:01:02

to that's exactly what the next two years ago the

1:01:06

book

1:01:16

okay says i where do live now live in japan

1:01:24

mohamed says i think if great

1:01:26

sport to us from bangladesh

1:01:28

nice

1:01:30

you may something and i from algeria

1:01:32

lots different countries from sluts i i

1:01:34

am a rabid oh an arabic teacher

1:01:37

hey buses i'm happy to tenure live

1:01:40

show thanks for everything i'm learning from you

1:01:42

and how to teach languages as i'm in

1:01:44

arabic teacher exactly you know that

1:01:46

the ideas work for any language so that's

1:01:48

great

1:01:52

the do messy ,

1:01:55

wahid says greetings from uzbekistan

1:01:59

undies young city greetings

1:02:01

to you

1:02:10

martin says hi from sri lanka i've downloaded

1:02:12

your book and listen to it that's great

1:02:17

yah yah come out against in question and

1:02:19

i'll just take a couple more than dance contests

1:02:21

are we condition to react

1:02:24

to any situation human

1:02:27

nature if so i believe we have to accept

1:02:29

it but remember we have consciousness

1:02:31

to notice and manage it ah

1:02:35

yes we are conditioned are conditioned kind of

1:02:37

like programs but is it human

1:02:39

nature adults are some things are

1:02:41

instinct of course by damn think

1:02:44

a lot of our reactions

1:02:48

are programs into us

1:02:52

and we we don't the

1:02:55

you kept them but you can change the

1:02:57

programming

1:02:58

the was a speak public speaking

1:03:00

as an example are we conditioner

1:03:02

we programmed to be afraid that situation

1:03:05

yeah maybe maybe there's some natural things

1:03:07

about that that make nervous standing up

1:03:09

front of large group of people we don't know

1:03:12

the probably us to some instinct some instinct that

1:03:14

there may be some danger and that scream

1:03:16

goes back you know i don't know exactly

1:03:18

why we're that makes as nervous

1:03:21

that but question is do we have to

1:03:23

feel nervous now we can change

1:03:26

you could feel excited instead like i feel excited

1:03:28

now about speaking to

1:03:30

, groups if i had speak

1:03:32

to group i don't know about topic i don't

1:03:34

know than i would still nervous because i don't know the topic

1:03:37

i'm not confidence but if i'm going speak

1:03:39

to a big group students about learning

1:03:41

english it's you know i've spoken

1:03:43

to three thousand people about that topic

1:03:45

himself know nervousness

1:03:48

so we don't have to just accept

1:03:51

it we can reprogram

1:03:53

ourselves we have the ability is

1:03:56

to allow to large degree to

1:03:58

quite a lot to

1:04:00

them ourselves differently to

1:04:02

seal

1:04:04

and act differently so we don't

1:04:06

have to accept conditioning

1:04:08

we never know where this stuff comes from sometimes

1:04:10

it might be instinct that might be something

1:04:13

that natural for all human beings the

1:04:16

like most people are nervous

1:04:18

about public speaking the

1:04:20

beginning

1:04:21

the despite something natural there or

1:04:23

like scared of heights for example scared of high places

1:04:26

of course there's an natural reason for that

1:04:28

because it's dangerous if you fall you die

1:04:30

so of course naturally is

1:04:32

totally normal the seal us very afraid

1:04:35

of high places but blue

1:04:37

know people who do rock climbing and

1:04:39

who work on top of very tall buildings

1:04:42

they may have some fear still but they but

1:04:44

probably much less than normal

1:04:46

people because

1:04:49

they've overcome that dissenting

1:04:52

us somewhat or

1:04:54

may be completely

1:04:57

so that's what's kind cool is that we have that

1:04:59

control if we make the efforts

1:05:01

we can sort of change that

1:05:03

conditioning change that programming

1:05:06

ah in almost any even some even

1:05:08

things that are very natural like fear of heights

1:05:11

ah it's ah it's possible

1:05:13

right i'll give another example just from my own

1:05:15

experience fighting hiding

1:05:17

most people kind of nervous about fighting by

1:05:21

ah when you are

1:05:23

training it after awhile you

1:05:26

have actually started enjoy it you don't nervous

1:05:28

about it so , at

1:05:30

least not training and i'm i

1:05:32

imagine that that know high level

1:05:35

professional fighters ah

1:05:38

they still gets

1:05:39

somewhat nervous if they're fighting for like

1:05:41

a championship or i'm belt something

1:05:44

but probably less than you are i

1:05:46

facility okay and they also are

1:05:48

excited right so

1:05:51

we can change these things

1:06:00

ah a path the looking or

1:06:02

says i've learned a lot from you

1:06:05

with them english thanks lot for your help i'm still

1:06:07

learning from you and the navy seal guys

1:06:09

like goggins just go mark

1:06:11

divine the others are all great guys the

1:06:14

grave and others cool yeah those

1:06:16

are great though though though have good books about

1:06:18

sort of mental toughness and changing your

1:06:20

motion in managing it's i like those guys

1:06:22

because they have to deal with are

1:06:25

they had to deal with some

1:06:27

very scary and dangerous situations

1:06:29

and learn to stay calm and be confident

1:06:32

so you can learn lot from those kind guys

1:06:35

even if you're not a soldier says the ask

1:06:37

yourself like i'm not

1:06:45

he had come off as i in my teenage

1:06:47

when i was teenager if

1:06:49

a girl looked at me i felt happy thought

1:06:52

i was beautiful if girl didn't look at me i felt

1:06:54

sad later i realized this is bad

1:06:56

and others are controlling my emotions now

1:06:59

always remain the same exactly

1:07:02

you want to be the one deciding that nut

1:07:04

you know as someone else does is a good example

1:07:06

about this right let's say yeah like

1:07:08

let's say you deciding like it in

1:07:10

my good looking at my attractive or not

1:07:13

would do to change like the weather is

1:07:15

you let other people decide it

1:07:17

because the truth is that some people

1:07:20

they're always be someone who likes us they're

1:07:23

always be people who don't so

1:07:25

you meet someone who likes you say i'm

1:07:27

wonderful and great feel good and then

1:07:30

then minutes later meet someone who doesn't like you all

1:07:32

i'm terrible person and it's own likes you know

1:07:34

i'm good person said if up and down you'd crazy

1:07:38

if you focus on others all

1:07:40

time he gotta find that

1:07:42

and yourself somewhere

1:07:44

the not be so affected by what the

1:07:46

opinions of other people

1:07:51

monitor the imagination and meditation

1:07:53

are solutions for negative emotions yup

1:07:55

and body movements is what i learn

1:07:57

from you today or yesterday was thinking about

1:07:59

so

1:08:00

the to avoid a bad mood

1:08:02

with my younger sister nice

1:08:12

i think just do a thing about

1:08:14

done here

1:08:19

i'll go said sense as i've been falling you rat

1:08:21

tenth since for ten years of downloader

1:08:23

during p threes i , podcast

1:08:26

that's for example homeless in athens

1:08:28

motorcycle accident or

1:08:30

school nice

1:08:39

i think i'll take this is the last one

1:08:47

the

1:08:47

thing with me says ah i'm from india

1:08:50

watching and

1:08:51

i'm watching an employee i have been influenced

1:08:53

by you so much since two thousand and twelve

1:08:55

and other ones ten years doing

1:08:58

so it's a great work here

1:09:00

are your teaching is amazing thanks a lot

1:09:02

thank you very much that's great yeah so nice to

1:09:04

see some some of you have

1:09:07

, follow me for very long time is great

1:09:09

and learning english with me that is awesome

1:09:11

and it's great to hear about your successes

1:09:14

you're speaking much better now and you feel

1:09:16

confident with your english since am glad

1:09:18

you still love listening to my so great

1:09:22

at all in with lena does is a good little

1:09:24

think and little comments if we focus

1:09:26

thinking about good things for twenty days it

1:09:28

will make habit he has has way to think

1:09:30

about when trying to make some new habits

1:09:33

is a union if

1:09:35

think about forever i

1:09:37

will eat healthy forever my whole life and

1:09:40

i'll do so i'll exercise well forever

1:09:42

it can seem like too much like i said

1:09:44

nice mental trick to realize the

1:09:48

to create good habit you may be only need

1:09:50

three or four weeks it didn't just do it

1:09:52

every day for three or four weeks it becomes

1:09:54

easier it does be com ah

1:09:57

more of habits and right so

1:10:00

the theme much easier to do you think okay

1:10:02

i just need to exercise every day for one month

1:10:05

then

1:10:06

i can build the habit that's easier

1:10:09

than saying oh get exercise

1:10:11

for you know thirty years everyday

1:10:13

is ah it's a big change

1:10:15

or a that seems like a large a

1:10:17

hard thing to do like

1:10:20

curry with jujitsu right have think about

1:10:22

ah you know jujitsu takes ten

1:10:24

or fifteen or more years get black

1:10:26

belt oh my god that seems like

1:10:28

a lotta work but instead i just say i

1:10:30

just gotta you know i just

1:10:32

focus on now

1:10:34

the gonna what am going to do this month this month

1:10:36

want improve something in my jujitsu

1:10:39

go to jesus's actually right now kith train

1:10:41

my i hurt my knee not ,

1:10:43

serious but i'm out on taking

1:10:45

a one month break from jujitsu when

1:10:47

he's getting better already attorney so much better

1:10:50

better just i heard is little bit i don't want it to become

1:10:52

serious so i'm gonna take

1:10:54

gonna little break with you to sue unfortunately but

1:10:57

have learned city that is

1:10:59

better take a short break and

1:11:01

then the keep going and get a big injury

1:11:04

and then i'm out a long time so

1:11:06

or this i hate not

1:11:08

training by that or to take few weeks

1:11:11

and he'll they

1:11:13

got level up the hope you do is member of

1:11:15

the main point of today it's lesson

1:11:17

from tony and his book is using

1:11:20

your body to change emotions use

1:11:22

your body right

1:11:25

house copy in in specifically

1:11:27

what he says is hop be somewhat

1:11:29

like good on you to and

1:11:32

find if you wanna feel confident for example

1:11:35

don't you tube and watch videos about someone

1:11:37

who's very confident person very confident

1:11:39

speaker and watch how they moving

1:11:41

and all of that rain other

1:11:43

speaking and and copy those movements and

1:11:45

try to do them in your own life

1:11:51

or a you know in this can be anything

1:11:53

if you want to be more relaxed person than

1:11:56

a you can get on youtube and and

1:11:58

find some people who like

1:12:00

that guy's really relaxed and and

1:12:02

notice how they move how do they sit

1:12:04

like relax be boy early maybe they can sit and

1:12:06

back little bit near the smiling

1:12:08

and everything looks you know and he copy

1:12:10

how they sit and copy how they walk and

1:12:12

copy how they move still not just confidence

1:12:15

in a mate if you're stressful persons and

1:12:17

have you have is hard to relax

1:12:19

then maybe you also find people

1:12:22

find someone who's very relaxed no

1:12:25

stress person and copy

1:12:27

that copy how they

1:12:29

move copy how lace

1:12:32

move use their face and now they use

1:12:34

their bodies and in this way the

1:12:36

become a relax person more he gets

1:12:39

he right the a lot of relaxing is this

1:12:41

how you use your body if you're like you know tight

1:12:44

and straighten are sometimes we we

1:12:47

go too far trying to be confident but then we get

1:12:49

like is to box i never all stressed

1:12:51

out says is maybe you need to

1:12:53

behave relaxed ,

1:12:56

so use your body use your body's

1:12:58

i'll be back with another show soon soon

1:13:01

john doe's has whisk bj school do

1:13:03

you attend ah were part of

1:13:05

the greasy academy group

1:13:09

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1:13:12

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1:13:19

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1:13:21

in osaka saxons chi

1:13:23

japan south chi japan of a second

1:13:27

i lots lots love to all of you i

1:13:29

will see next time join my vip program

1:13:32

effortless english club dot com and

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