Episode Transcript
Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.
Use Ctrl + F to search
0:00
welcome
0:01
to to the the effortless an english, show with the the world's
0:03
number one teacher aj
0:05
hoge where aj's is more than 40 million
0:08
worldwide, finally, learn english once
0:10
and and for all that, the the boring textbooks classrooms
0:13
and grammar drill here's a jay
0:15
with a a quick piece to to help you learn and speak fluent
0:17
english effortlessly
0:20
control your
0:23
emotions, in
0:26
feelings this
0:28
is today's topic and
0:31
it it comes from again our
0:33
or book club the tony robbins
0:35
book notes from a a friend
0:37
this is problem
0:39
no problem this is one
0:42
of of favorite tony
0:44
robbins techniques one of
0:46
my favorite tony robbins teachings
0:49
this is one i use lot that
0:51
i have used lot the past that i still use
0:53
it because it's this is
0:58
sort the most difficult things
1:01
in life sometimes is our emotions
1:03
right we make we mentally
1:06
no means we intellectually
1:09
know what to do right
1:12
so maybe we know for example we
1:14
know that eating sugar
1:17
a lot will make us fat it's unhealthy
1:20
but then we get the emotional craving
1:22
right the physical and emotional craving
1:25
for it or maybe we have a habit that
1:27
when we're bored when were depressed
1:30
we eat sugar sugary food how
1:33
do change that you already know it's not good
1:35
and he already know what you need do but
1:38
it's the emotions many
1:41
time feelings emotions make
1:43
us do stupid
1:45
hanks makers do
1:47
things that know
1:49
hurt us long
1:51
term right something
1:53
feel good now
1:56
frayed now to do
1:58
something we know we should the are
2:01
really something feel good now
2:03
and we do it even we know it's not healthy
2:05
long term right this is a
2:07
very big problem since this
2:09
is one of the problems with i think ya
2:14
like normal psychology and psychiatry
2:17
the , mental health industry
2:20
industry so focused on talking and talk therapy
2:23
and talking about problems and they
2:25
have that that the a they have
2:28
this belief so many psychologists many
2:30
psychiatrists have many belief that
2:32
if you understands your problems
2:35
write it that then you could you will
2:37
get better, right? that
2:39
that's the main issue is high his
2:42
are you know, gaining
2:44
a call in sight, right seeing
2:47
and understanding what's and
2:51
and then then you'll do
2:53
the right thing but that's not true
2:56
i think most of us who are are reasonably
2:59
intelligent we
3:03
then figure out problems
3:06
in our life we can
3:08
sit and think about it and we can figure
3:11
out you know what
3:13
we should do what we should
3:15
not do but then we don't do it that's
3:18
because of the emotion so as the emotional
3:22
control that is
3:24
often our problem in life
3:27
it's the emotions that
3:30
ah this to do bad things
3:32
have bad habits unhealthy
3:35
settings make bad choices
3:38
right
3:40
like someone doesn't feel confident
3:42
you can tell them like miss a of young man
3:44
and he wants a girlfriend he wants to date
3:46
he wants to get married some day but he's
3:49
shy any has no confidence
3:51
and so you can pull
3:53
him just go talk
3:55
to girls and say this and do that
3:57
you can give him a lot of strategies right
4:00
and they're all good strategies but
4:02
the problem is he has
4:04
no confidence so he's not going to do it
4:07
he's going see a girl and
4:09
he has has good information in his head
4:11
but he doesn't do it he still is afraid to go
4:13
talk to the girl or tries to talk
4:15
to her body so nervous that
4:18
know he look foolish right
4:21
so it's the emotion in this case the
4:23
motion of fear though lack
4:25
of confidence feeling weak feeling afraid
4:27
feeling nervous that's the problem
4:29
that caught that's why he can't
4:32
solve this problem that's why he can't achieve
4:35
his goal is the emotion
4:37
is same in job interview right
4:40
you might be really good your
4:42
job
4:43
it might be very good you might be the best person
4:45
for the job but
4:48
that maybe go to the job interview your
4:50
so nervous
4:52
during the interview that
4:55
you you don't they
4:57
everything you need you should say you don't
4:59
sell yourself you don't look
5:01
good in a job
5:03
why does because of the emotion the nervousness
5:06
the fear the worry it
5:10
it
5:10
causes a problem even though mentally right
5:12
you actually are very good at the job
5:16
right those this is a big question
5:18
house how do we manage our emotions
5:20
and then let us pray better word than control
5:23
is minutes and we manage our
5:25
emotions
5:30
so let's get into it now let's go to the
5:32
tony robbins chapter will talk about because
5:34
it's actually a very very simple techniques
5:37
and i have found this technique that's my like
5:39
it's it's simple and effective this
5:41
is something you can do and
5:43
so many situations in life to
5:46
change how your ceiling and
5:49
if it and i'll as i'd really like this twenty
5:51
robbers take me this is one i find it very
5:53
very practical
5:55
very useful very helpful
5:57
in everyday life
6:02
there we go
6:05
our it for the name of the chapter
6:07
is welcome to state
6:09
of you the
6:12
you are using the word state in
6:15
a different way than you might
6:17
know so
6:20
pragma maybe the most common way of using
6:22
the word state the most common meaning
6:25
is like an area in country
6:27
right like america has city states
6:31
but state can also mean
6:34
ah
6:36
the habit of
6:38
emotion your it we sweet we use the phrase
6:40
your emotional state your
6:43
emotional state it means condition
6:46
right or situation
6:50
it means what emotions do you have right now
6:52
so if you change your state you
6:55
, you feel as he might say he's in very
6:57
nervous state it means he's feeling
6:59
very nervous nervous he's
7:01
a he's in very enthusiastic
7:03
state right it means
7:05
emotionally he ceiling enthusiastic
7:10
right
7:12
so this is about emotions so
7:14
here's what other is other is great phrase
7:16
it's great little tony robbins saying as mp
7:21
a near link in l p
7:24
thing we , realize
7:26
that emotion this is
7:28
created by motion for
7:31
those nice little sayings emotion
7:34
ceilings the motion
7:37
is created by motion
7:39
movement ceilings are created
7:41
by movement is another way to say
7:43
that ceilings are created
7:47
by movement
7:50
so this is an interesting idea if
7:52
you have my book you know that i talked about this quite a
7:54
lot if have one my any my courses
7:57
you know that i talk about this it
7:59
is this is part of courses i make you move
8:01
your body in , in certain
8:03
ways ways this is why
8:06
this chapter will tell you why you're doing that
8:09
because changes your emotions it
8:11
changes created by motion in other words what kind of movement
8:13
we talking about physical moment the
8:15
movement of your body specifically we're
8:17
talking about physical movements
8:20
movement affects our bodies
8:22
chemistry so
8:25
this we're talking about
8:28
physical activities such as running
8:30
or flapping are jumping so big movements
8:34
also very small movements
8:37
like for example the muscles in your face
8:39
how you move the muscles in your face
8:42
for example of you're smiling or
8:44
if you your make a frown
8:47
right where you look unhappy
8:50
the very small movement of your face
8:53
it will actually change how you feel
8:56
inside if you do
8:58
that long enough and strongly
9:00
enough
9:02
so this is as the main message of
9:04
this whole chapter and
9:06
ah it's
9:09
simple as via like is simple and it works
9:12
so another way to say this he says emotions
9:15
are affected by the body
9:18
emotions are eager think what is an
9:20
emotion
9:23
what is a ceiling
9:25
what have will don't even think about that like what exactly
9:28
is ceiling what
9:30
is happening inside you
9:32
when you feel nervous when
9:34
you feel afraid if
9:38
this is why i think meditation can
9:40
be very very helpful for understanding
9:42
yourself and understanding your
9:44
own mind and how it works because
9:47
when you meditate you will realize
9:49
that you have thoughts
9:51
that come into your head right that
9:53
are thoughts can be
9:55
language so might think i'm
9:58
stupid that that
10:00
language you're thinking in your own language i'm
10:02
stupid that's a thought self is a
10:04
language thought but
10:06
you cannot think and pictures so
10:09
you could just in your brain you might have a a
10:11
picture of a tree in your head it's
10:14
that's a visual thought
10:17
there that the language thought
10:19
is also sound bought right
10:22
ugly so but you can also just think
10:24
of a sound could think of a piece of music
10:26
for example nonsense that don't dance
10:28
dance dance dance better than sun than
10:30
sun at around sentence done you could just
10:32
think that in your head silently and
10:34
that's an audio thoughts right
10:39
so we have these thoughts
10:41
but then we also have when
10:44
talk about feelings what we talking about
10:46
we're really talking about vibrations
10:49
and energy in our body is
10:51
our bodies and when we put
10:53
together
10:54
physical feelings right like hats
10:56
yeah you're in other words your body might feel
10:58
warm your my body might feel colds
11:01
you might steal your heart beating faster
11:04
or slower you might
11:06
feel a lot like attention
11:08
like tightness in your chest
11:10
and your next or you
11:12
the opposite you might feel a looseness
11:15
a relaxation in
11:17
your body which typically feels good rights
11:19
often knows that that their sin sin
11:22
in parts of bodies like see lot people
11:24
are very tense in their stomach
11:26
area where they're breathing and this makes the breathing
11:28
a little the little bit shallow
11:30
little bit it a little hard
11:34
right so there's all these physical feelings
11:36
happening in your body
11:39
and then we connect them to the thoughts we
11:41
have when you put those two together that's
11:43
a feeling that's an emotion it's those
11:45
two things together so
11:48
for example let's say your heart's beating fast
11:51
if you if you're doing meditation years setting
11:54
and you're just noticing and you and
11:56
you the bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
11:58
right the feel that kind of
12:01
our increased energy
12:03
increase vibration in your body explicitly
12:05
in your chest what
12:07
emotion is that what feeling is that
12:13
where you don't know yet it's
12:16
just so far a just that is just energy
12:18
that's just physical ah
12:20
of physical with ceiling
12:22
on any unforeseen english we use the same word
12:27
what the think the physical sensation
12:29
right assistant vibration and movement
12:31
in your body there's no
12:33
emotion without there's
12:35
only emotion if you attach that's
12:39
do it so for example
12:41
if bomb you're
12:44
about to get on if if you're
12:47
the if if you're imagining
12:50
ah i'm an exciting
12:53
with they get you're you're going on a date and
12:57
you're imagining the day and you're imagining
12:59
that girl the guy for the dates
13:01
and you're imagining and you're thinking about how great
13:03
it's gonna be and how wonderful and or this
13:05
is gonna be awesome mike's this person so wonderful
13:09
those are a positive thoughts and then
13:11
you have the feelings your heart's beating faster
13:14
these vibration this increased energy
13:16
what will you say you're feeling you probably say you're
13:18
feeling excited the really excited
13:20
about this day
13:23
but if you have the same thing happening in
13:25
your body's increased vibration
13:27
your heart's beating faster but senior
13:30
your thoughts you're thinking you're thinking
13:32
negative things you're imagining oh
13:35
my god like got what they don't like
13:37
me i would have i'm says
13:39
i'm i'm i'm not that looking i'm
13:41
ugly oh i don't make much money they're
13:43
not gonna lie to me then
13:46
what would you say you're feeling is your emotions
13:48
you probably would say you're feeling nervous
13:51
or something like that rights because
13:53
the ceiling inside your body the physical
13:55
feeling the same but the thoughts
13:57
are now negative so you
13:59
can
14:01
kind of feel similar certain
14:03
but the it's
14:05
the thoughts plus the physical bodies
14:08
that's what creates emotion is the two
14:10
together so how can you change your
14:12
emotions if you're feeling nervous
14:14
how can you
14:15
range it for you don't feel nervous anymore while
14:18
you the of two ways of doing it you could
14:20
try to affect your body your can move your
14:22
body in different ways and this
14:24
well scenes how
14:26
you feel and
14:28
can also try to just change or thinking and
14:30
it's he can also do both in
14:33
this chapter going to talk about how it's just changing
14:35
your body will start to change
14:37
the thoughts and this will also
14:39
change your emotions
14:41
it's a treaty will track love the six
14:44
okay so he said years ago tony says
14:46
years ago one the most important ways
14:48
i changed my life was
14:50
to change the pattern of
14:52
the way i moved away
14:55
i gestured right using his hands
14:57
when he speaks the way i spoke
15:01
the first it felt silly itself strange
15:04
like i was pretending that
15:06
little by little it became natural he
15:09
feed what i did is i simply
15:12
copied what i saw
15:14
other people doing i copied
15:16
extremely confident people did
15:19
mimic to their mimic means to copy
15:21
them exactly ah
15:24
the here's a clue so
15:26
thing he wanted to feel comforted
15:28
more confident but he he didn't feel confident
15:30
maybe so nervous maybe week
15:35
so one important thing he did as he
15:38
noticed he studied
15:40
confident people people
15:42
who appear coffin we never
15:44
know what's going on inside somebody's but sweet
15:47
we certainly we can seal confidence right
15:49
you can feel when someone's very confident
15:51
when they're when they're strong rights
15:54
so
15:56
he studied those people and what specifically
15:58
said is how they move how
16:01
did they use their hands when they talked how
16:03
did they stance right
16:05
do they have their head down all the time today
16:08
talk with a quiet voice know
16:10
coffin and people you they their shoulders back
16:13
to the of powering the seal recognize what i'm
16:15
saying ah i'm
16:17
if you have my courses you'll now i talked about this allots
16:20
they have their shoulders back the have their typically
16:22
have their head up when they talk to people they look
16:24
them they eye or they you know you look their
16:26
faces their not looking down at ground
16:29
and they move in a way that's that's
16:32
strong right that's different
16:34
than someone who's shy someone who's
16:36
nervous stands in a different way
16:38
someone who's depressed they
16:41
physically look different that's why
16:43
you in it you can be in a room on
16:45
the other side of a room of you know and
16:47
you can look someone and can say
16:49
are they looked depressed how do you know
16:52
this by that is how they're standing
16:54
how they're moving we don't even
16:56
need to talk to you can look
16:58
at someone else and say wow that person's very comforting
17:02
how you know just by looking their
17:04
face and how they're moving how are they moving
17:06
their face how are they moving their hands when they talks
17:08
how are they standing how they walk
17:13
what's interesting is that it's not just
17:15
appearance when you stand
17:17
in this different way when you stand in confident
17:19
way when you use your face and a confident
17:21
way when you speak with strong confident
17:24
voice your just copying it's you're pretending
17:26
like an actor in the beginning
17:28
it feels weird
17:30
but when you do this when you do it as a habit
17:33
when used do it again and again and again you
17:35
actually will feel differently inside
17:38
you will actually feel more confident
17:41
the physical movements seems
17:43
your body chemistry the physical
17:45
movement
17:46
changes your thoughts your
17:49
focus the physical movement
17:51
just the movement the wave standing
17:54
in the way of moving and the way of
17:56
using your face will make
17:59
you feel better
18:00
you will feel better you'll feel happier
18:02
you'll feel more confident just by changing
18:05
how you move and stand habitually
18:08
meaning you know
18:11
consistently just doing it for
18:13
ten seconds you
18:15
might be a little better but it's not gonna make a
18:17
big change but when you make these this
18:19
way a habit when make it a habit
18:22
to have your shoulders back in your head up and
18:24
to have a strong confident voice
18:27
in the look at people the face or the eyes
18:29
when you build this habit over time
18:32
when you're copies people like tony robbins
18:34
and other very confident people and you
18:36
make yourself move like them and sound
18:38
like them you'll start to
18:40
feel like that the
18:43
a little trick of psychology that and
18:45
it's simple thing to do is why
18:47
i like it
18:49
you don't need to analyze your past you don't
18:51
need solve all your problems from your childhood
18:54
you , don't have do or anything
18:56
like that you can just focus on
18:59
something very obvious very simple
19:03
how you move how you use
19:05
your face use voice and your body
19:09
and in this way change how you feel
19:11
most the time so this is a great
19:13
technique that anyone can do this via like
19:17
and he says here's tony again he says by
19:20
moving the same way someone
19:22
else does you
19:25
will start to have this same
19:27
feelings that they have
19:31
isn't that interesting so if you move like
19:33
confident person you'll
19:35
start to feel confident more
19:37
and more conference if you move
19:39
like a shy person you will start
19:41
to feel more shy if you move like weak
19:44
person you'll feel more week if
19:46
you move like strong person you'll feel stronger
19:50
very interesting so
19:53
what's the point what's the solution that
19:55
here's here's what you should do fine
19:58
those people who are successful
20:02
and model meaning copy
20:04
the physiology of their confidence
20:06
physiology means the body how
20:08
they move how they in all their
20:10
voices physical the physical body cop
20:13
be that they're
20:15
gestures copy their breathing copy
20:17
how they walk copy how they speak
20:20
copy , face scylla how they use their
20:22
face with smile i do they do
20:25
they you know they put their
20:27
head down or have their head up most the times
20:29
all of these things top be how they move
20:31
like this is what actors do right
20:34
how does an actor a good really
20:36
good actor how does a
20:38
change in make you think there's someone
20:40
else
20:42
they make you think that there are sad person
20:44
or confident person start you know
20:47
the actor might not be such a great
20:49
person but they can make you think they're
20:51
great the actors probably not
20:53
big hero but they can
20:56
make you think they're here
20:59
lot it is how they move and talk
21:01
and right
21:03
if
21:04
you'd if instead of like an actor
21:06
if he acted as the short term and
21:08
then they go and they do it again and with somebody else
21:10
and and different characters the time but
21:12
what did he just did discount constantly for
21:14
long time for like months and years
21:17
just focus on being positive
21:19
enthusiastic confident person
21:22
moving like them sounding like them you
21:24
would become a more confident so
21:26
these yeah stick person's just by
21:28
doing this
21:30
yes there other things you can do other things
21:32
you should do also but i like this
21:34
technique because it works quickly and
21:37
it's simple so this so this good one to start
21:39
with i usually start with this if i
21:41
have problem in life
21:46
paint the physical part first because it's
21:48
usually the simplest and easiest thing
21:50
to do get started so if
21:52
you're feeling really down really depressed
21:55
like your ears is not your you're having you're having time
21:57
in your life right now ah
22:00
recommend start physical you can eat you
22:02
can think like how well how do start
22:04
had rights and change my life how
22:06
do i get things positive again and
22:09
, can be overwhelming like what should i do
22:11
what actions should i take the first
22:13
thing first recommend is start with your body start
22:15
with this
22:17
change your emotions by changing how
22:19
how you're feeling physically i
22:21
would add you could also it's in you could
22:23
change your movement your can also change how you
22:25
eat how you're exercising right
22:28
this this also this your body right
22:31
and then when start changing that you start feeling
22:33
stronger and better physically then
22:35
you got some energy now you're ready you can change
22:38
other things changing yourself mentally
22:40
changing your habits digging
22:42
other accents right so you
22:44
can do all that
22:47
all right let's get into our comments and questions now
22:50
i don't want to go to long today gotta take my kids out
22:59
the
22:59
welcome everyone is watching live on you
23:01
tube by way if you listen my audio
23:03
podcast is the audio ah
23:06
i apologize i'm
23:07
i'm kind late adding the
23:10
shows onto my audio podcast
23:12
i've got us edit them a little bit and
23:15
, upload them again and it takes time
23:17
so much much their you
23:19
tube is always up to date because i do this lives
23:22
so it's always currents and
23:24
by i think i've got about five six shows
23:26
and need to put on the audio podcast
23:30
the weather podcast audio podcast is
23:32
little behind as the i'll i'll update
23:35
the our latest
23:38
oh utterly ramos gives another
23:40
gives a book recommendation which i'll have to
23:43
check out
23:45
permission to feel by
23:47
mark bracket is an excellent book
23:49
to learn how we can regulate emotions
23:52
i'll check it out permission to
23:54
seal i
23:57
check it out on amazon right now
24:00
permission to steal
24:02
sounds interesting listen
24:05
to feel in books
24:08
by mark bracket now check it out for
24:11
the recommendation
24:16
good morning uma off good to see you
24:18
like all our regular people gina get to see
24:21
you
24:23
i do live stream scheduled as
24:25
odie nope it i just pretty
24:28
my doesn't my doesn't when i have time since
24:30
this this is said kana random
24:35
nancy says are high from morelia
24:37
mexico mexico i love your topics
24:39
greetings each day my speaking improving that's
24:42
great great great nancy good
24:44
luck keep going
24:47
oh yeah are several people from mexico today
24:50
sergio garcia
24:52
you're the best greetings from us who
24:55
had process lot
24:58
like color the color maker
25:04
lena get to see as as i try to control my
25:06
emotions by counting to ten saying
25:08
the myself every negative idea that damages
25:10
my brain and gives me cortisol
25:13
yes here this is another thing another technique
25:15
you can do accounting ten but you can also
25:17
try to us our focus on your breathing
25:19
and breathe more deeply the could it
25:21
have a physical effect when you breathe
25:28
we should be deep breaths like that
25:30
since the calm your body
25:33
which will change motions so exactly
25:43
the gym jay says i love this topic emotional
25:46
intelligence that's another great way to describe
25:48
it in this way i could control my
25:50
emotions like the saying says don't
25:52
let your emotions overpower your intelligence
25:56
your mot logical mind verser motion or hearts
25:58
that's hearts great way to say it
26:00
saying eggs great that says exactly
26:02
what happens to us right most
26:04
of us are smart enough to
26:06
, you know we know
26:08
basic yes there's lot debate
26:10
about nutrition you can debate owes vegetarian
26:13
better than paleo ba
26:15
ba ba right but we also know we
26:17
know in general processed
26:19
food is bad for us to lots sugar
26:21
is bad for as we know in general
26:23
there general lot of stuff and yet we all
26:26
eat that stuff for most his do it sometimes
26:28
rights we sometimes rights do things we
26:30
know are not great physicists
26:34
in the but why is because the emotion overpowers
26:36
our intelligence or intelligence knows
26:39
i sit and do this then
26:41
we do it anyway because of emotions or
26:43
the opposite happens we know we
26:45
should do something i should do that it be great
26:48
if i exercise every day but i
26:50
feel lazy the
26:51
we don't do it the emotion winds so
26:54
this this very important topic because
26:56
ah the our
26:59
most our intelligence you know
27:01
if we will most of us are have enough intelligence
27:04
that , we don't have as the emotional intelligence
27:06
or the emotional discipline and
27:09
this and we get trouble and have problems
27:11
in our lives where we create lot of problems
27:13
for ourselves
27:16
them
27:17
come alive always good see you says when
27:19
listen your power english lessons they always have my
27:21
motivations very gray as your lessons
27:23
inspire me thank you thank you adam
27:26
and , know in in in both my powering
27:28
a specially empowering was and vip
27:32
i ever you know most
27:34
lessons i encourage you the
27:36
beginning to move your by the stand
27:38
up to smile me sometimes
27:40
smile ask you to jump around and do these things
27:43
this is why this once you to be
27:45
and strong confident happy energetic
27:49
the emotional condition emotional
27:51
state as you learn english
27:53
as import
28:13
let's see
28:16
other than sing ogres as was insane
28:18
question it's something i'm dealing with now
28:20
too little bits i have problem my child
28:23
is very social the
28:26
in general is a good thing by the way she's
28:28
three years old the same age my children
28:32
but it's very frightening to me because
28:34
as she talks with unknown men and women
28:36
many them can be dangerous or dangerous pervert
28:40
right exactly
28:42
because that three years
28:44
old because you're good mom our
28:47
you know she's had very safe i'm
28:51
assuming wonderful childhood so didn't
28:53
know about this they don't understand it
28:55
right and this is problem it is a problem
28:57
because us kids are understand that since
29:00
not everybody's nice like mom dad or
29:02
like grandma and you know they
29:06
they don't understand so it can be little harder to
29:08
my kids are exposing the exact same thing
29:10
and maybe it's maybe normal thing for this age
29:12
split my kids used be more shy and
29:14
nervous about the
29:16
known people they would they wouldn't
29:18
even play with other kids now suddenly
29:20
they're like just walk up the anybody
29:22
is start talking to a place
29:24
they walk better kids that's not to prompt
29:27
but they'll do it with adults to right
29:29
so the any as any as you become
29:31
nervous because you're like well i got you
29:33
know said careful
29:37
though
29:39
it's normal to feel nervous about it you should feel nervous
29:41
about it because it's our job to teach them and you
29:44
can try to explain you know that we
29:46
have to be careful people we don't know and
29:48
he teach them that better three years
29:50
old they don't quite understand
29:52
that so so little bit of a challenging
29:54
time because at that age we just have to
29:57
be near them he can't let them run
29:59
around without
30:00
that be their eyes
30:02
on them all the time right for
30:04
many reasons as
30:07
they
30:08
get a little older and can understand more
30:10
more language more ideas
30:13
you can start teach them about here
30:15
no he can't just trust everybody automatically
30:18
there's difference between strangers and
30:20
mom and dad sit and your
30:22
brothers and sisters i family
30:27
oh god you say you know having the
30:29
same issue is with my kids and
30:32
i just i
30:34
just stay near them if they go up and talk to an adult men
30:36
i walk over there and i'm ah i'm
30:39
standing right next to him
30:41
right watching and you know here's
30:43
the thing you can get feeling right as an adult occasionally
30:45
adult occasionally feeling like this this person this adults
30:48
little weird right
30:50
and then i just say okay have an optic
30:52
my kid up and say oh thank you
30:54
i'm i'm polite and less because ,
30:56
not doing anything bad but i just
30:58
have feeling like that he knows personal
31:00
strange i have dispersants
31:03
dispersants autistic my kid in and say okay well nice
31:05
meeting you and then walk away smith's
31:07
right seaweed it
31:09
just requires some extra work at this age this think
31:11
so think think it's good thing
31:14
to have that nervousness because
31:16
it's it's nervousness it's it's good instinct ten just
31:18
done
31:21
a having amazes can be tough for of maybe a
31:23
couple years until you can
31:25
really teach them how to be
31:27
careful careful about this
31:39
yeah pablo great see you
31:41
as always pablo replace says the body
31:43
mind connection the body
31:45
follows the mind the mind follows
31:48
the body yeah exactly they they
31:50
both affect each other the trick is
31:52
to change emotions from body thanks
31:54
for sharing that's exactly true you can also
31:56
of course you can change your body with your mind
32:00
what do that well like so for
32:02
example let's say again
32:04
you're you're physically
32:07
very excited and nervous you
32:09
could just close your eyes and think
32:12
about hunting very calm
32:14
right like the com beads or something
32:17
and focus your mind on your
32:19
breathing not
32:21
really do anything physically but
32:23
just with your thoughts you could calm
32:25
down your body the goes both
32:27
ways that's exactly right i is
32:29
just as i find like pablo saying i
32:32
agree with pablo that the top
32:34
and the harder to change
32:36
our minds sometimes explicitly
32:38
when we have a high emotion
32:41
strong emotions right it's it's
32:43
i can be hard to do i'll give you example
32:46
his public speaking the when i
32:48
owe you know speak to a group of people when i
32:50
you equity first in the past when i was more
32:52
nervous about it and
32:55
feeling nervous before speaking
32:57
and of course like you know
32:59
know okay why should think positive thoughts
33:01
and ah you know try to
33:06
calm myself down and and and relax
33:08
but very hard to do when you're feeling very
33:10
nervous and and you know what couple minutes
33:12
gotta go talk to everybody so i
33:14
found that it was much easier instead
33:17
to just change my body don't
33:20
try to fight the nervousness instead i would just
33:22
start jumping around and split my shoulders back
33:24
and smile and jump around and get
33:26
excited and like yeah yeah i'm
33:28
excited and doing all these very big
33:30
says eagles actions so
33:32
that
33:33
my body was still high energy
33:35
but instead of feeling nervous i would start
33:37
to feel more excited more confident
33:40
and was just because i would ah
33:43
she a try use that energy and move
33:46
and different way i just would move and different way
33:48
and jump and get excited and yeah and
33:50
all these movements are copy tony
33:52
robbins alliance exactly what he says this
33:55
book you know copy somebody who's confident
33:58
for long time for public
34:00
speaking i copied him because he the great
34:02
public speaker is could conference
34:04
so you know like was like little mini
34:06
and little the , tony robbins for
34:09
several years where my style
34:11
speaking was very similar to
34:13
him of course not the same because i'm a different
34:15
person but i was copying him very
34:18
consciously and now i don't need
34:20
to do that anymore because i got my style
34:22
and ah of i'm confident
34:25
now i'm not nervous about speaking to
34:27
about cameraman nervous about speaking to group
34:31
but in the beginning and for a while
34:33
it's very good technique and very to will help
34:35
lot though don't worry about copping
34:37
some buddies movements
34:40
are and how they talk it's it's it's
34:42
totally fine to do that
34:46
you just year guess you
34:49
the higher you your ottomans
34:51
your soul us your
34:53
career high as consciousness is just start
34:55
using that mind body connection
34:57
mind an intelligent way the get
34:59
what you want
35:07
our haley's ask how can i
35:10
control my emotions before crowd
35:12
like talking to i just so bad exactly
35:14
what told you is ah
35:18
in my opinion it's indexer same the beginning
35:21
when you're starting to do public speaking
35:23
and in you could be possibly
35:25
very very very nervous i
35:28
, to calm down in
35:30
my experience doesn't work
35:32
it's too difficult to relax
35:35
in that situation when you feel so
35:38
much the summers nervous energy
35:40
inside you so i find it's
35:42
much better to just try to
35:44
change that energy use it in
35:46
a more positive way so instead
35:48
being nervous you feel excited because
35:51
excitement is also a very high
35:53
energy ceiling rights trying
35:55
to go from high energy like nerve super
35:57
nervous and and calm down
35:59
to we energy is hard
36:01
to do in the moment
36:04
equally ah ,
36:07
easier to go from high energy negative
36:09
like nervous and just change it to
36:11
high energy positive like guy
36:13
enthusiastic excited as much
36:15
easier to do quickly in the
36:17
moment in difficult situation
36:20
so you do that by jumping around and moving
36:22
around coffin away copy tony robbins how
36:24
he moves and analyze
36:26
that is that's very sector
36:28
fuckin work very well
36:30
and yeah when you speak you might seem little bit
36:32
you are super energetic
36:34
and little bit crazy but that's better than
36:36
nervous system and later you'll
36:39
learn that drop the energy down
36:41
little bit if you
36:43
want
36:48
as podcast says thanks
36:50
coach up wish your family
36:53
good health and happiness thank you very much
37:02
yeah didn't see them the obligated
37:04
the against that gives now the
37:06
the other side as when experiencing
37:08
a like an undesired
37:11
some emotion something you don't want
37:13
realize that can experience it see
37:15
notice it first then change your
37:17
attention this of this is using your now you're
37:19
you're thinking to change the feelings
37:22
change your attention to another topic relax
37:25
deep breath says using body
37:27
like breathing is a good one to use and
37:29
he can also change what you're thinking about
37:32
though you can use thoughts and physical
37:35
i just particularly like using the physical
37:37
i find it so simple oh
37:40
cool alexander
37:43
says a i recently traveled to the
37:45
us and visited your city athens
37:47
georgia course we
37:49
discussed in the car that he lived here
37:51
it wouldn't seem feeling as we're listening to the show
37:53
for years ah that's right i i
37:56
love athens athens as a nice little town
37:58
i hope you enjoyed your time there
38:00
the news not much of a tourist town i don't
38:02
know what you know like for
38:04
someone outside that are know there's nothing
38:06
too exciting about it
38:10
but i just found you know happens i
38:13
very much enjoyed my time i
38:16
when lived there and , still
38:18
consider athens georgia to be kind of my hometown
38:21
i moved lot as kid my parents moved around
38:23
lot so i don't really have like one
38:25
home town town
38:27
athens is the place i live the longest
38:29
in my life and i live there at
38:31
a very kind very important
38:34
time in my life you know kind of that college
38:37
age and young adults
38:39
in oh so a lot changes happening in my
38:41
life right so i always
38:43
keep lost my hometown i usually say it's athens
38:46
georgia it's nice
38:48
of him nice
38:50
little town in america
38:57
the young guy did that's nice that you got visit
38:59
pretty cool ah
39:04
got get me from a craze
39:07
such as it from brazil
39:09
thank you that
39:18
know what's happening sri lanka right now i don't know
39:21
mean i have a general idea from you
39:23
know internet stuff by i
39:26
have no idea of the details
39:31
yeah like lane or gives good point she
39:33
says we have some diseases physical
39:36
diseases depending
39:38
on or because of our psychology for
39:41
example stomachache headaches
39:43
we must controller emotion to protect ourselves
39:45
from suffering absolutely this
39:47
is another example this is the going the other
39:49
way how your thoughts and
39:51
emotions over
39:54
time not as one time but over
39:56
time will actually give you a
39:58
physical problem the
40:00
mind will create physical disease
40:02
a problem stomach aches officers
40:05
like sometimes very serious the
40:09
go
40:10
problems and diseases because you're just
40:12
thinking you're always angry or always
40:15
depressed it will start to
40:17
does it can affect your nervous system were
40:19
nervous mean you're here our immune systems
40:21
where your immune system drops and it's easier to
40:23
get sick so for example if you're always
40:26
thinking and you're always depressing was thinking
40:28
about negative things that will change your
40:30
immune system and it's easier to get us tickets
40:34
so that's right
40:36
we have to be careful about that
40:42
re not as it is yet alexander's or alexander
40:44
judges a visit cafe puccini to
40:46
cover the chinese actually in san francisco
40:49
which is when i see
40:51
when i started effortless english i was living
40:53
in san francisco so
40:55
i can be pretty not in athens happens
40:58
is well guess it is long before
41:00
effortless english it was when i was in my
41:02
twenties and
41:04
ah i guess early thirties
41:06
early thirties in georgia
41:10
so , when i was just was a social
41:12
worker i just started doing some
41:14
english teaching was traveling around the world a
41:16
lot and and in
41:18
university in grad school
41:20
so that's when lived in lived and
41:23
then lived in japan
41:25
and thailand korea thailand
41:27
later then i moved to san francisco
41:30
the deserves his co for about six years and
41:33
that's when started effortless english those my
41:35
late thirties or like thirty eight years old when i
41:37
lived san francisco cafe
41:40
puccini is in san francisco and
41:44
part of him cisco cut north beach
41:56
series is why don't you pray for healing
41:59
praying the other way
42:02
of doing that's exactly right breyer
42:05
freres done a if is you're doing
42:07
it right is very positive and
42:09
i will have physical effects on
42:11
you
42:17
come off as another way to control emotions
42:19
is not thinking about the past or the future
42:22
nothing about the past future plans
42:25
we have to do our best in the present moment
42:28
the present time make
42:30
plan but executed do it
42:32
right now yeah yeah the
42:34
which is very much meditation right so
42:37
this is another room sort way to control
42:39
your mind that
42:41
will affect your body
42:44
like if for example you know if if your problem as
42:46
you feel nervous lot times why we feel nervous
42:48
were thinking about the future and worrying about it to
42:50
be just focus on right now what's happening right
42:53
now miss you don't really does
42:55
nothing to worry about
43:04
the right nice to see you as always good
43:06
morning friday he says by
43:09
the sea has going a going well
43:11
thanks demo
43:14
summer here in japan so warm
43:16
and or it's my favorite time of year since
43:19
this crane us
43:30
fernando area's nice to see it has
43:32
i always try to control my emotions and not
43:34
let them control me i'm not robot
43:36
i have feelings and emotions yeah
43:38
was actually this is good point we're
43:41
not trying to get rid of emotions
43:43
of emotions not for can't get rid of them the
43:45
cat and , unhealthy to try
43:48
try is it's like that's why like the word
43:50
actually manage i like word manage
43:52
better than to than your
43:55
managing them right
43:57
them means that you are trying to
43:59
use emotions because remember emotions
44:01
it's just your thoughts plus
44:03
kind of physical energy oh
44:06
is you can't get rid
44:08
of physical energy your body you will have physical
44:10
ceiling the of physical sensations
44:13
feelings energy vibrations
44:15
in your body always and
44:17
you're always going have thoughts it
44:19
is something you'll learn if it went about meditating
44:21
people think meditating means you
44:23
get rid of all thoughts impossible
44:27
on our long term
44:29
it's impossible since it is it's not
44:31
about getting rid of your thoughts about noticing
44:33
and , your thoughts and what they
44:35
really are so it's
44:38
just about intelligently using your
44:40
thoughts and your physical body
44:43
to
44:46
you know to live in positive way to to
44:48
live how you want to get what you want
44:50
to do what you want to be the master of
44:52
yourself not controlled
44:54
by
44:55
emotions and thoughts that
44:57
just come and go you
44:59
know like the weather
45:05
it's in our is it if you want be philosophical
45:07
sit and think about a deeply
45:10
ah you can think about this the question
45:13
of i'm oh
45:16
okay we have our thoughts we
45:18
, i want to manage
45:20
my thoughts i want to
45:22
manage my emotions i want to control
45:24
my mind better or who is
45:26
or who is doing the controller
45:32
who are you really it your know if you're not
45:34
your thoughts and you're not your emotions
45:37
because he can come and go just almost
45:39
randomly ah you
45:41
can watch you movie and any feel sad
45:46
it
45:46
didn't just come out of you it came from the movie comes
45:48
from all these influences so and
45:50
if you have if you can control your emotions your
45:52
can control your thoughts well then what who
45:55
or what is doing the controlling right
45:58
mean you are something else
46:00
and indeed is a higher contrast your highest
46:02
consciousness right which
46:04
, traditionally it's called the soul
46:07
or the ottoman or spirits
46:09
whatever name you want use there's
46:11
something higher that you
46:13
are that i am that we all are something
46:16
higher then thought there's
46:18
something higher than emotions
46:21
and that higher self because
46:24
you really your true self the really are
46:26
that's what manages the emotions
46:29
that's what men as is your body that's of men
46:31
just sensations that's what is
46:33
watching and noticing all these things
46:35
that's what's analyzing these things that's
46:38
you really are it's
46:41
not that enormous
46:42
the word uses art man in
46:45
the west fine usually the word his soul
46:47
or spirit could
46:50
say higher conscious
46:53
ah you'll see some time the
46:56
true self and
46:59
buddhist will talk about that
47:06
your own alber elbaz says our
47:08
emotions controlled the digestive
47:10
system conditions oh yeah very
47:12
strong influence on your died systems
47:14
where feel nervous at
47:16
, in a particular situation like
47:18
going have public speaking i feel like i have
47:21
to go to bathroom poop sessa yeah
47:24
that's
47:24
the way you can see some people throw up
47:26
the i just watched starts era seen the movie rush
47:29
it's about a racecar
47:31
, as , based
47:34
on true story and that nikki louder
47:36
and james hunt i believe and
47:38
one of main characters before every race
47:40
he would be so so much energy excitement
47:42
and nervous as he would throw up
47:45
like it was every race he would throw have before
47:47
the race and so
47:51
yeah it was digestion
47:53
in your immune system can be
47:55
in a we ought that's why we and or english if you're nervous
47:57
we say our have butterflies in
47:59
my stomach we often feel it in
48:01
that stomach area right
48:07
a co op center did travel in san cisco
48:10
said in september we traveled to san francisco
48:12
and decided to visits cafe
48:15
puccini but it was closed forever
48:17
ah i was before the
48:19
pandemic ah
48:21
, true true know it had
48:23
they had a fire and
48:28
fire know they close i thought they reopened
48:31
little look thought up right now as
48:34
, thought it read somewhere that day
48:36
opened again
48:43
have bitchy see if
48:45
they're still open or not
48:52
oh yeah yeah offers describe this
48:54
location as close
48:56
to psych it's gone
48:59
in burton down i
49:02
thought they reopened
49:06
they
49:06
had fire and ice but as i swear
49:08
thought they reopened then maybe i'm wrong
49:15
yeah it looks like is gone
49:19
that's
49:23
tibet too bad
49:26
so they did not reopen up a apparently
49:29
this tibet
49:34
ah
49:36
aka weaker says i have learned
49:39
lot from aj since two thousand and
49:41
thirteen have been following his many stories
49:43
so long time my speaking has improved
49:45
a lot listening is the key indeed
49:48
thank you that's great congratulations to you
50:00
yeah this a good point the mushroom says
50:02
are for
50:04
managing your emotions specially bad
50:06
emotions negative we should understand
50:08
that ninety nine percent of bad
50:10
things that we think about we
50:13
imagine will not happen in
50:15
real life they won't happen i
50:18
, admit it from my personal experience i
50:20
this is specifically talking about worry in the future
50:22
this year we all have this experience we worry
50:24
about so many possible sayings
50:27
sayings things that might happen and most them never
50:29
do never so we do
50:31
spend a lot of time making ourselves feel bad
50:34
about things that will never happen yet
50:37
is or crazy isn't it
50:39
read ski a listener thank you for
50:41
the donation preceded
50:43
thank you so much two daughters thank you
50:54
there's
50:54
someone from korea for or says hello i'm
50:56
korean thanks for your content
50:58
you're welcome
51:08
ah ecuador
51:12
omni man
51:14
says is joe why still your friend yes
51:17
one of my best friends joe
51:20
and kristin both are
51:22
, they're not doing learn relinquish anymore
51:24
they they decided to stop doing that that
51:26
i still good friends talked them kristin
51:30
last week so yeah the
51:33
very very close friends and
51:36
still live san francisco
51:47
thousand rom dances i don't know
51:49
why it is so hard nowadays to tell
51:51
people about my job said
51:53
, to my emotions yeah well
51:56
as much or
51:58
what you mean why is it hard the are talking
52:00
like job interview something or just talk
52:02
about your job to other people ah
52:05
it probably is your emotions isn't
52:08
bad or if you're doing it in english maybe
52:10
you have some vocabulary you're missing
52:14
the best possible but as there's
52:16
need it's in your own language i'm guessing it would
52:18
be emotions that
52:26
lois as were actually living in the present
52:28
we split time in three different time
52:30
frames because of our ignorance past
52:32
and future is an illusion
52:39
and alexander's is sorry for news about cafe puccini
52:41
yeah me too i didn't i
52:43
, thought they had opened again again
52:46
knew about the fire but i thought they opened again but
52:49
that's too bad
52:56
go adams as i think i just i finished
52:58
your power english lessons now speaking english
53:00
all the time i'm happy thanks alot
53:02
thank you adam this great very good
53:07
i mean anything
53:13
santos as do i know brazil
53:15
i've never been to brazil
53:17
i know a bit about it aid do brazilian
53:20
jujitsu my instructors brazilian
53:23
ah so
53:28
that would have i so and i
53:30
know about i know about brazil have lot
53:32
brazilian students ah
53:35
so i'd like to visit brazil someday
53:40
and the
53:42
earlier this silver says hello to brazil
53:45
from indiana usa most
53:47
of my family's from indiana
53:51
louis says greetings from beautiful columbia
53:54
this is my first post for your channel thanks
53:56
lot for your content a
53:59
and your
54:00
it for helping us to improve our english and become
54:02
better people think you least as rain
54:04
us
54:14
a cop isn't fredy says by your
54:16
help and three motivational videos i
54:18
finally got myself into
54:20
one of into an american
54:22
university thanks lot and graduations
54:25
and enjoy opium good experience
54:29
fernando de his asks
54:32
who's supporting member here on the channels
54:35
i would
54:36
make a general question are
54:38
you still worrying about things that happen to you
54:40
one year ago is good quests
54:42
if your answers know why are you wearing now
54:44
it's worthless to worry too much is
54:46
a good point right if you actually look back
54:48
at like the stuff you worried
54:50
about about ago the
54:52
still worrying about now so many of these things
54:54
we thought which which is totally forget about we
54:57
worry worry worry it doesn't happen and then just
54:59
disappears we forget about is nothing
55:02
though all that worry was useless so
55:04
right
55:07
of course can be useful to think
55:09
about i'm
55:13
problem is that might come in future and
55:15
to prepare for them
55:17
the use less intelligent but what's
55:19
difference the differences the emotion right
55:23
it's when it's when when you did
55:25
just thinking about potential problems
55:28
and preparing for them that's quite
55:31
intelligent in many parts of life but
55:33
it's when we start getting afraid
55:36
and nervous and
55:38
depressed and negative about
55:40
it then , then we
55:42
don't think well then we don't actually
55:44
actually of good solutions we don't actually make
55:47
the plans because the emotion starts
55:49
to cause us to make bad decisions
55:52
so and it is minute specs or body
55:54
and bad ways so thinking
55:56
ahead is totally fine and useful
55:59
it's just the emotional
56:01
part that's the problem
56:05
here it is brazil loves you think
56:08
you
56:11
would you like to go back the usa x alexander
56:14
for visit but not the lists swell
56:16
i say there's one place i could live in america
56:19
, why oh
56:22
my my wife and i before the kids we
56:24
lived in hawaii for a short time just a year
56:27
but , love hawaii why
56:29
is a special place if
56:31
had to go back to america for some reason that's
56:34
where i would live his wide live in hawaii
56:36
the rest of the country i'll visit
56:38
family and friends there
56:40
but friends don't wanna live there
56:43
how i feel like i kind of different
56:45
country honestly necessity
56:56
when it oh god makes us experience says
56:58
oh creates experiences to for
57:00
us to control ourselves but if we don't analyze
57:02
our thoughts and learn from them we won't
57:05
have the best a
57:08
funny i have you ever visited africa
57:10
an african country i have not
57:13
i have not visited africa and have not visited
57:15
south america to whole continents
57:17
sister that i'm missing since
57:20
of it from my travels this so
57:22
you know right now
57:24
my kids too small to travel but and at
57:26
it's little hard to travel still now hopefully
57:29
things open up more i'd love
57:31
to visit both know my friends kristin
57:33
job have visited some places in africa
57:35
think they were gonna molly
57:38
morocco anyway
57:41
they loved it they said was great so ah
57:44
anna as i said would love to visit brazil
57:47
and columbia ah
57:49
, you know ruby funded is travel around
57:51
south america in general i think so
57:54
and i still have lots places i can visit
57:56
at new places the try some day
57:59
maybe when kids get a the older
58:11
okay mary z also
58:13
supporting thank you says how can you control
58:15
emotions towards your loved ones
58:17
is my birthday today and my loved ones didn't say
58:20
a word about it the sauce assess
58:23
anger for example well as same
58:25
as with ah with any
58:28
, situation of
58:30
a are sometimes these emotions are natural
58:33
then
58:33
you'll naturally have to change i'm i'm
58:35
immediately skyn feel angry
58:37
for a while someone does something bad you can
58:39
feel angry think that's actually healthy
58:42
for a while the problem is if you keep
58:44
holding onto the anger too long
58:46
minute start to change
58:48
you and make you unhappy long term
58:51
than it's hurting you right a
58:53
little anger can give you some energy
58:56
but i think the key point is to it
58:59
make an intelligent decision use the energy
59:01
of the anger and intelligent way in
59:04
this case for example you might to say hey
59:06
you guys forgot my birthday i'm
59:09
upset be ,
59:11
they love that you guys for birthday that is my
59:13
birthday nobody said anything and
59:16
maybe i'll apologize or whatever writes
59:18
ah but just don't but just was they
59:20
don't keep it in don't don't know
59:22
the do any don't do anything bad but just just
59:24
sister be honest and say i'm upset
59:26
you guys forgot my birthday today
59:30
echo fact he look that
59:32
i'm angry whatever
59:37
they
59:38
did wasn't your podcast sometimes it doubles speed
59:40
and i still understand that that's great but
59:43
you
59:46
yeah we not interesting we're
59:50
not is i is talking about
59:52
actually the next topic in this book in the
59:54
next chapter says i have noticed me times
59:56
that the language i am speaking affects
59:59
the motion
1:00:01
don't even talk about that and the next after this
1:00:03
book is about exactly this when i
1:00:05
speak english i feel and act differently compared
1:00:07
the same situations when use my
1:00:09
mother tongue yep and
1:00:12
not only that even in your mother tongue stone
1:00:14
language
1:00:16
what vocabulary use how you
1:00:18
say some things will change how you feel
1:00:21
right like for example of a small example
1:00:24
would be like
1:00:26
mary descent okay
1:00:28
so family forgot her birthday
1:00:31
she could say i'm very angry
1:00:33
or he could say i'm i'm a little upset
1:00:37
the describe what's happening right if she says
1:00:39
i'm little upset i'm a little upset a little upset
1:00:42
it actually will bring the script
1:00:44
the has the emotion down little
1:00:46
bit a little less strong if she says i'm
1:00:48
super angry and she
1:00:50
uses those words super angry it
1:00:52
will actually make her feel more angry
1:00:55
it'll make the emotion stronger the choice
1:00:57
of vocab the choice of words
1:01:00
can affect it but we'll talk about that and the next chapter
1:01:02
to that's exactly what the next two years ago the
1:01:06
book
1:01:16
okay says i where do live now live in japan
1:01:24
mohamed says i think if great
1:01:26
sport to us from bangladesh
1:01:28
nice
1:01:30
you may something and i from algeria
1:01:32
lots different countries from sluts i i
1:01:34
am a rabid oh an arabic teacher
1:01:37
hey buses i'm happy to tenure live
1:01:40
show thanks for everything i'm learning from you
1:01:42
and how to teach languages as i'm in
1:01:44
arabic teacher exactly you know that
1:01:46
the ideas work for any language so that's
1:01:48
great
1:01:52
the do messy ,
1:01:55
wahid says greetings from uzbekistan
1:01:59
undies young city greetings
1:02:01
to you
1:02:10
martin says hi from sri lanka i've downloaded
1:02:12
your book and listen to it that's great
1:02:17
yah yah come out against in question and
1:02:19
i'll just take a couple more than dance contests
1:02:21
are we condition to react
1:02:24
to any situation human
1:02:27
nature if so i believe we have to accept
1:02:29
it but remember we have consciousness
1:02:31
to notice and manage it ah
1:02:35
yes we are conditioned are conditioned kind of
1:02:37
like programs but is it human
1:02:39
nature adults are some things are
1:02:41
instinct of course by damn think
1:02:44
a lot of our reactions
1:02:48
are programs into us
1:02:52
and we we don't the
1:02:55
you kept them but you can change the
1:02:57
programming
1:02:58
the was a speak public speaking
1:03:00
as an example are we conditioner
1:03:02
we programmed to be afraid that situation
1:03:05
yeah maybe maybe there's some natural things
1:03:07
about that that make nervous standing up
1:03:09
front of large group of people we don't know
1:03:12
the probably us to some instinct some instinct that
1:03:14
there may be some danger and that scream
1:03:16
goes back you know i don't know exactly
1:03:18
why we're that makes as nervous
1:03:21
that but question is do we have to
1:03:23
feel nervous now we can change
1:03:26
you could feel excited instead like i feel excited
1:03:28
now about speaking to
1:03:30
, groups if i had speak
1:03:32
to group i don't know about topic i don't
1:03:34
know than i would still nervous because i don't know the topic
1:03:37
i'm not confidence but if i'm going speak
1:03:39
to a big group students about learning
1:03:41
english it's you know i've spoken
1:03:43
to three thousand people about that topic
1:03:45
himself know nervousness
1:03:48
so we don't have to just accept
1:03:51
it we can reprogram
1:03:53
ourselves we have the ability is
1:03:56
to allow to large degree to
1:03:58
quite a lot to
1:04:00
them ourselves differently to
1:04:02
seal
1:04:04
and act differently so we don't
1:04:06
have to accept conditioning
1:04:08
we never know where this stuff comes from sometimes
1:04:10
it might be instinct that might be something
1:04:13
that natural for all human beings the
1:04:16
like most people are nervous
1:04:18
about public speaking the
1:04:20
beginning
1:04:21
the despite something natural there or
1:04:23
like scared of heights for example scared of high places
1:04:26
of course there's an natural reason for that
1:04:28
because it's dangerous if you fall you die
1:04:30
so of course naturally is
1:04:32
totally normal the seal us very afraid
1:04:35
of high places but blue
1:04:37
know people who do rock climbing and
1:04:39
who work on top of very tall buildings
1:04:42
they may have some fear still but they but
1:04:44
probably much less than normal
1:04:46
people because
1:04:49
they've overcome that dissenting
1:04:52
us somewhat or
1:04:54
may be completely
1:04:57
so that's what's kind cool is that we have that
1:04:59
control if we make the efforts
1:05:01
we can sort of change that
1:05:03
conditioning change that programming
1:05:06
ah in almost any even some even
1:05:08
things that are very natural like fear of heights
1:05:11
ah it's ah it's possible
1:05:13
right i'll give another example just from my own
1:05:15
experience fighting hiding
1:05:17
most people kind of nervous about fighting by
1:05:21
ah when you are
1:05:23
training it after awhile you
1:05:26
have actually started enjoy it you don't nervous
1:05:28
about it so , at
1:05:30
least not training and i'm i
1:05:32
imagine that that know high level
1:05:35
professional fighters ah
1:05:38
they still gets
1:05:39
somewhat nervous if they're fighting for like
1:05:41
a championship or i'm belt something
1:05:44
but probably less than you are i
1:05:46
facility okay and they also are
1:05:48
excited right so
1:05:51
we can change these things
1:06:00
ah a path the looking or
1:06:02
says i've learned a lot from you
1:06:05
with them english thanks lot for your help i'm still
1:06:07
learning from you and the navy seal guys
1:06:09
like goggins just go mark
1:06:11
divine the others are all great guys the
1:06:14
grave and others cool yeah those
1:06:16
are great though though though have good books about
1:06:18
sort of mental toughness and changing your
1:06:20
motion in managing it's i like those guys
1:06:22
because they have to deal with are
1:06:25
they had to deal with some
1:06:27
very scary and dangerous situations
1:06:29
and learn to stay calm and be confident
1:06:32
so you can learn lot from those kind guys
1:06:35
even if you're not a soldier says the ask
1:06:37
yourself like i'm not
1:06:45
he had come off as i in my teenage
1:06:47
when i was teenager if
1:06:49
a girl looked at me i felt happy thought
1:06:52
i was beautiful if girl didn't look at me i felt
1:06:54
sad later i realized this is bad
1:06:56
and others are controlling my emotions now
1:06:59
always remain the same exactly
1:07:02
you want to be the one deciding that nut
1:07:04
you know as someone else does is a good example
1:07:06
about this right let's say yeah like
1:07:08
let's say you deciding like it in
1:07:10
my good looking at my attractive or not
1:07:13
would do to change like the weather is
1:07:15
you let other people decide it
1:07:17
because the truth is that some people
1:07:20
they're always be someone who likes us they're
1:07:23
always be people who don't so
1:07:25
you meet someone who likes you say i'm
1:07:27
wonderful and great feel good and then
1:07:30
then minutes later meet someone who doesn't like you all
1:07:32
i'm terrible person and it's own likes you know
1:07:34
i'm good person said if up and down you'd crazy
1:07:38
if you focus on others all
1:07:40
time he gotta find that
1:07:42
and yourself somewhere
1:07:44
the not be so affected by what the
1:07:46
opinions of other people
1:07:51
monitor the imagination and meditation
1:07:53
are solutions for negative emotions yup
1:07:55
and body movements is what i learn
1:07:57
from you today or yesterday was thinking about
1:07:59
so
1:08:00
the to avoid a bad mood
1:08:02
with my younger sister nice
1:08:12
i think just do a thing about
1:08:14
done here
1:08:19
i'll go said sense as i've been falling you rat
1:08:21
tenth since for ten years of downloader
1:08:23
during p threes i , podcast
1:08:26
that's for example homeless in athens
1:08:28
motorcycle accident or
1:08:30
school nice
1:08:39
i think i'll take this is the last one
1:08:47
the
1:08:47
thing with me says ah i'm from india
1:08:50
watching and
1:08:51
i'm watching an employee i have been influenced
1:08:53
by you so much since two thousand and twelve
1:08:55
and other ones ten years doing
1:08:58
so it's a great work here
1:09:00
are your teaching is amazing thanks a lot
1:09:02
thank you very much that's great yeah so nice to
1:09:04
see some some of you have
1:09:07
, follow me for very long time is great
1:09:09
and learning english with me that is awesome
1:09:11
and it's great to hear about your successes
1:09:14
you're speaking much better now and you feel
1:09:16
confident with your english since am glad
1:09:18
you still love listening to my so great
1:09:22
at all in with lena does is a good little
1:09:24
think and little comments if we focus
1:09:26
thinking about good things for twenty days it
1:09:28
will make habit he has has way to think
1:09:30
about when trying to make some new habits
1:09:33
is a union if
1:09:35
think about forever i
1:09:37
will eat healthy forever my whole life and
1:09:40
i'll do so i'll exercise well forever
1:09:42
it can seem like too much like i said
1:09:44
nice mental trick to realize the
1:09:48
to create good habit you may be only need
1:09:50
three or four weeks it didn't just do it
1:09:52
every day for three or four weeks it becomes
1:09:54
easier it does be com ah
1:09:57
more of habits and right so
1:10:00
the theme much easier to do you think okay
1:10:02
i just need to exercise every day for one month
1:10:05
then
1:10:06
i can build the habit that's easier
1:10:09
than saying oh get exercise
1:10:11
for you know thirty years everyday
1:10:13
is ah it's a big change
1:10:15
or a that seems like a large a
1:10:17
hard thing to do like
1:10:20
curry with jujitsu right have think about
1:10:22
ah you know jujitsu takes ten
1:10:24
or fifteen or more years get black
1:10:26
belt oh my god that seems like
1:10:28
a lotta work but instead i just say i
1:10:30
just gotta you know i just
1:10:32
focus on now
1:10:34
the gonna what am going to do this month this month
1:10:36
want improve something in my jujitsu
1:10:39
go to jesus's actually right now kith train
1:10:41
my i hurt my knee not ,
1:10:43
serious but i'm out on taking
1:10:45
a one month break from jujitsu when
1:10:47
he's getting better already attorney so much better
1:10:50
better just i heard is little bit i don't want it to become
1:10:52
serious so i'm gonna take
1:10:54
gonna little break with you to sue unfortunately but
1:10:57
have learned city that is
1:10:59
better take a short break and
1:11:01
then the keep going and get a big injury
1:11:04
and then i'm out a long time so
1:11:06
or this i hate not
1:11:08
training by that or to take few weeks
1:11:11
and he'll they
1:11:13
got level up the hope you do is member of
1:11:15
the main point of today it's lesson
1:11:17
from tony and his book is using
1:11:20
your body to change emotions use
1:11:22
your body right
1:11:25
house copy in in specifically
1:11:27
what he says is hop be somewhat
1:11:29
like good on you to and
1:11:32
find if you wanna feel confident for example
1:11:35
don't you tube and watch videos about someone
1:11:37
who's very confident person very confident
1:11:39
speaker and watch how they moving
1:11:41
and all of that rain other
1:11:43
speaking and and copy those movements and
1:11:45
try to do them in your own life
1:11:51
or a you know in this can be anything
1:11:53
if you want to be more relaxed person than
1:11:56
a you can get on youtube and and
1:11:58
find some people who like
1:12:00
that guy's really relaxed and and
1:12:02
notice how they move how do they sit
1:12:04
like relax be boy early maybe they can sit and
1:12:06
back little bit near the smiling
1:12:08
and everything looks you know and he copy
1:12:10
how they sit and copy how they walk and
1:12:12
copy how they move still not just confidence
1:12:15
in a mate if you're stressful persons and
1:12:17
have you have is hard to relax
1:12:19
then maybe you also find people
1:12:22
find someone who's very relaxed no
1:12:25
stress person and copy
1:12:27
that copy how they
1:12:29
move copy how lace
1:12:32
move use their face and now they use
1:12:34
their bodies and in this way the
1:12:36
become a relax person more he gets
1:12:39
he right the a lot of relaxing is this
1:12:41
how you use your body if you're like you know tight
1:12:44
and straighten are sometimes we we
1:12:47
go too far trying to be confident but then we get
1:12:49
like is to box i never all stressed
1:12:51
out says is maybe you need to
1:12:53
behave relaxed ,
1:12:56
so use your body use your body's
1:12:58
i'll be back with another show soon soon
1:13:01
john doe's has whisk bj school do
1:13:03
you attend ah were part of
1:13:05
the greasy academy group
1:13:09
though that saw hinder and hero gracie
1:13:12
has very traditional that grand
1:13:14
kids of helio gracie and
1:13:17
hours the specific gym specific go
1:13:19
to is called ultimate jujitsu
1:13:21
in osaka saxons chi
1:13:23
japan south chi japan of a second
1:13:27
i lots lots love to all of you i
1:13:29
will see next time join my vip program
1:13:32
effortless english club dot com and
Podchaser is the ultimate destination for podcast data, search, and discovery. Learn More