It is important that you can recognise when time out is needed in your marriage.

Your breathing has gotten faster, your voice is louder, and your tone has changed. You may have started to feel frustrated and angry. Rather than speaking assertively, you tend to change to aggression and criticism. Rather than listening to understand, your partner can ignore, belittle you and argue back.

The fight and flight response has been triggered. This is when a time-out is especially needed, as hurtful things can easily be said and done in these moments. For many people, they are in persistent arousal of fight and flight and get triggered easily. 

There are the 5 Steps for time out which is important to have in your tool bag.

As a couple, it's extremely helpful to have a discussion about this and what you will do in the future.

• Discuss the advantages of time out.
• What worries you about time out?

Take turns to talk about how you want to do the time out and what would stop you from taking time out.