--FOLD YOUR PHABLET, BAE.--DIGI SALES IN FULL LIFTOFF--NO PHABS IN RUSSIA, TEAM--PROBABLY NOT WHY ZEBRAS HAVE THEIR STRIPES--LUNAR POWER STATIONS--BRITISH HUMILIATE NAZI SUBS (AGAIN), THIS TIME THROUGH PETROLEUM SUBSIDIARY
--THE ENEMY IS US, YO!--IN THE BEGINNING--WE WERE BAKED LIKE MARS--RIDING THE JETSTREAM, HITTING THE GAS--THE LAKE GETS A VOTE, TOO--THE END OF THE AFFAIR
--NOT CHICAGO'S FINEST GETTING PLENTY OF RUN IN THE PRESS TODAY--SHEPHERD'S WATCHING OVER THEIR FLOCK--GATOR ORANGE IN SOUTH CAROLINA--WHERE'S THE WINNER?--STAND UP OR GO TO JAIL--CARLTON THE BIG LOSER AT FORTNITE
--DORKERBERG FIXIN' TO TAKE IT ON HIS PASTY CHIN--COWS GETTING FIXED UP IN BRITAIN--PRISONERS GETTING FIXED UP BY THE CHURCH IN TENNESSEE--BREAKING BAD 2--FROZEN 3--RUSSIA GOES ON A DIET--MIRANDA LAMBERT IS STILL A NIGHTMARE--SUPER MARIO
--THE TAX MAN COMETH, JUST NOT FOR AMAZON--GOOGLE PAYS, THOUGH--ST. MARY'S SMELLS BAD, YO!--BUT YOU CAN BREATHE EASY FOR AN ADDITIONAL 10%--AFTER YOU CHANGE YOUR SHORTS--THE ASSMAN COMETH--ONLINE LOVING IS THE NEW NORMAL
--BREAK OUT THE CREDIT CARDS, Y'ALL. WE'RE GOING TO MARS!--BUT THIS WOULD-BE MAJOR TOM STARTUP GETS 86'D--GEOFFREY'S BACK SOON--AND HE'S BRINGING NEW-LOOK BARBIE WITH HIM--THE HIGH TIMES MEET THE HIGH-END--DRINK YOUR CHIPS, MAN--A BIG (AN
--HAWAII'S SLOW BURN OFF TOBACCO--CHICAGO...NUMBER ONE IS SOMETHING DISGRACEFUL. NO. NOT THAT. SOMETHING ELSE--SHEEP FARMERS FLEX THEIR MILKY MUSCLE--REFRIGERDATING--C'MON, MA. I CAN DO IT MYSELF!--CARDI B GETS CAUGHT UP ON THE NEWS FROM 2
--WAR ON DRUGS SLOWS TO A CRAWL--G.O.A.T.--ARIANA GRANDE? NOT SO MUCH--SOMETHING I LEARNED ABOUT HOGS--AND SOMETHING COOL--A RACE FOR THE CURE--MOST UNDUDE LIKE