Do you have a tragic backstory? Have people around you (including you) been acting DRAMATIC!!!? Have you been drafted by blood lottery to join the 'Chosen Ones'? Have you passed a chaos god or an eldritch horror on the street as you just went about your daily life?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, congratulations, you're a teenager!!! It is now time for you to join the ranks of Chosen Ones at the Camp for FANTASTIC Adventurers and FABULOUS Stealthy Sleuths. At this camp, we specialize in stopping (or at least trying. Our success rate is up to 10%!!!) the gods from taking over our beloved town of Easton. Join our FANTASTICALLY MELODRAMATIC Chosen One ranks because everyone knows that lots of characters leads to LOTS of DRAMA!!! and DRAMA!!! is good!!! Particularly between the Chosen One of Baldr, the Chosen One of Loki, and the manipulative ex-girlfriend of the Chosen One of Baldr. We will resolve the drama while also leaving more drama for other people to pick up behind us. If you don't get too stressed out from dealing with daemons who may or may not have tried burning down Yggdrasil in a past life and are working with Hecate to take over the world, then join us!!! If you try to send a message through the trees, our on-call eccentric hippie Mentor with REALLY bad wisdom will be there to answer the call of nature and the faerie dragons!!!
*Legal Notice: We are not responsible for any deaths or disappearances that may occur from falling through Netherworld portals, becoming a part of a love triangle, pissing off one of the many chaos gods that like to drop by, or just by extraneous combustion because of repression Chosen One ability or, more likely, repressed emotion.
On an unrelated note, for the parents of the Chosen Ones lost in last week's Tentapocalypse, we are sorry for your loss and they will all be missed.