Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt are two relationship experts that have worked to start conversations and educate people on the value of healthy, communicative relationships with a partner. They are the best-selling authors of Getting the Love You Want and Making Marriage Simple. 

EPISODE 

Helen and Harville want us to understand that the perfectly happily married couple is ultimately incompatible. The difference between the married couples that fail and those that succeed is not in their compatibility, but in the way they choose to understand their incompatibility. After both Helen and Harville experienced a divorce of their own, they approached the beginning of their relationship asking the question "What makes some couples stay together and some fall apart?". The result of their deep theorizing and research is Imago,  a relationship methodology they teach that strives to dig deep into our true motivations on how we become attracted to and choose partner, and fulfill our desires in a relationship. We discuss:

• • Why you are either a hailstorm or a turtle
• • The steps of listening successfully
• • You will only be attracted to someone you are incompatible with
• • The role of our parents and caregivers in deciding what we want in a relationship

For complete shownotes and more, please head over to www.optimizedgeek.com/harvilleandhelen

LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED

HarvilleandHelen.com

Safe Conversations

Buddha's Brain by Rick Hanson

Making Marriage Simple

Getting the Love You Want

GET OPTIMIZED!

1. Identify your own tendencies during conflict. Are you a person who shuts down or explodes when you can't get what you want? According to Imago, you are either the minimizer or the maximizer in a relationship, and you can use this identification to help understand tendencies in your feelings.
2. When the feelings of hot romance begin to fade in your relationship, recognize that it is not due to an ultimately doomed relationship. It is simply another stage of the relationship's development, and can be worked through to find real, long-term love through listening and communication.
3. Remember that simple communication without judgment can solve the majority of marital problems. Feeling neglected in your marriage? Talk about it calmly.

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!
As always, thank you for tuning in. Please feel free to drop by the website to contact me or leave a comment. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it!
-Stephan

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