Have you ever been faced with this choice: remain obedient to your family by giving up your dreams, or pursue your heart’s passion, against your family’s wishes? My guest on HEROINE this week faced that exact situation. Rana el Kaliouby, PhD, Egyptian-American computer scientist and CEO, knew her patriarchal Middle Eastern culture required her to make sacrifices she wasn’t willing to make. After studying computer science and receiving her PhD at Cambridge, Rana developed a deep passion to bring emotional intelligence (EQ) into technology. While founding her company, Affectiva, she chose to leave her marriage, rather than give up on the work she believed in so deeply. Rana recently released her first book, Girl Decoded, a memoir about her life as a rule breaker.

In this episode, Rana takes us through her childhood in the Middle East, raised in a family of technologists with strict gender roles. While she wasn’t used to vulnerability or emotion growing up, Rana discusses her personal journey in dealing with emotionally complex situations throughout her life. We also learn about the importance of following your convictions, even if they don’t align with others’ expectations. Rana teaches us when disobedience is necessary, and how to keep yourself out of your own way in the pursuit of your dreams.

Show Notes

- Rana’s childhood growing up in the Middle East.
- The influence of Rana’s technologist family, with two programmer parents.
- How Rana creatively rebelled against her father’s patriarchal ways.
- The influence the mixture of a forward-thinking but conservative family had on Rana.
- How Rana’s family suppressed emotions about evacuating Kuwait after it got invaded by Iraq.
- The story of why Rana’s dad got angry with her while she was studying computer science.
- Rana’s dream to build technology that can capture non-verbal communication signals.
- How Rana realized that building EQ into technology was her calling.
- What EQ in technology can offer and how this vision helped Rana disobey conventions.
- The story of how Rana had to prioritize starting Affectiva to the detriment of her marriage.
- Having to become a disobedient daughter in order to become a powerful woman.
- How Rana overcame her self-imposed barriers to become CEO of Affectiva.
- Rana’s use of journaling to externalize and process her feelings.
- Being a mother amongst all of the career challenges Rana faced.
- Why Rana has decided to lead with empathy.
- One thing Rana is reclaiming and hopes her book does.

References

Rana el Kaliouby - https://ranaelkaliouby.com
Girl Decoded - https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Decoded-Scientists-Intelligence-Technology-ebook/dp/B07VF1SKPV
Affectiva - https://www.affectiva.com
The American University in Cairo - https://www.aucegypt.edu
Alexa - https://alexa.amazon.com
Siri - https://www.apple.com/siri
Affective Computing - https://www.amazon.com/Affective-Computing-Press-Rosalind-Picard/dp/0262661152
Untamed - https://www.amazon.com/Untamed-Glennon-Doyle-Melton/dp/1984801252
Ariana Huffington - http://ariannahuffington.com