Inspiring Mama | A Happiness Podcast For Moms & Dads

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Treating yourself isn't just about an ice cream cone or a bath. You can treat yourself by allowing yourself to be happy in any moment of your life. Most of us know this in theory, but don't understand HOW to actually do this in practice. How do you treat yourself to happiness? How do you practice happiness?  Host Lauren Fire explains that happiness is not actually the natural result of success. In fact happiness and success aren't linked together at all. ave to actually do something.  To practice happiness, to treat yourself to happiness, you have to actually shift the way you work with your mind, body, and emotions in the present moment.  Learn how you can use happiness tools to shift how you think and feel at any time. When you learn to do this, you unlock an incredible power in your life to be happy no matter the circumstances.  If you enjoyed this podcast, sign up for Inspiring Mama's Treat Yourself Challenge - 10 Days, 10 Ways to Shift from Crappy to Happy. Sign up at: InspiringMama.com/TreatYourself  When you enter your email, you will get the Treat Yourself E-Book, daily video happiness exercises for 10 days, and access to an exclusive Facebook group. Sign up today! 
Who doesn’t love a good mood! Did you know you can generate your OWN good mood, no matter what is happening? How POWERFUL are you? In this bonus episode, I’m going to teach you how to access your power to feel TOTALLY AMAZING AND ALIVE whenever you want. I call it The Good Mood Generator.   The Good Mood Generator is one of the Happiness Practices that I give away every week to members of the Inspiring Mama Village. You can join at InspiringMama.com. What is a Happiness Practice? I'm glad you asked! My philosophy is very simple. When you practice happiness, you will enjoy more of your life. Have you ever thought to yourself, I will be happy when…I lose 10lbs, change jobs, move, get pregnant… I hate to be the one to break it to you, but sadly happiness is not going to show up at your door when you get any of these things. Because when you get there, you will still be you.  And you still won’t be happy.  You may be happy for a bit. But you will soon find something else to strive for. Happiness is not a goal. It is not the natural result of success. Countless research studies have shown this. Countless celebrities and other “successful people” have proven this again and again with drug abuse, overdoses and most recently, suicide. Happiness is a practice. It’s something you do.   All over the world, authors, thought leaders, speakers, and researchers are all saying the same thing - if you’re not actively practicing happiness, actively trying to take more joy in your life, you are only living half alive. If you want to enjoy more of your life, feel more alive, it’s time you start practicing happiness. You can practice happiness with The Good Mood Generator, and the other short Happiness Practices that I give away to the Inspiring Mama Village. 
Learn how to move through guilt and shame quickly with this short exercise. If you are highly critical of yourself, this podcast will help!  Shame is a very destructive emotion, usually connected with highly critical thoughts and a tense body. If you feel really bad when you make a mistake, or find yourself working tirelessly to please no one in particular, shame is probably the culprit.  But how do you get rid of it? What can you do, in the moment, when you feel bad about a mistake?  You say this to yourself:  I love you and I forgive you. I like to use my name: I love you Lauren and I forgive you Lauren. I learned this from Cheryl Richardson, a highly acclaimed author and speaker. She said in a tele summit earlier this year that she does this when she feels ashamed.  We all criticize ourselves. The people who live the happiest are the ones who have learned how to move through it, putting it behind them rather than in front of them.  It's not about improving yourself or fixing yourself. It's about learning how to work with what you already do. This exercise is a way to work with guilt, shame and self criticism.  If you want more exercises like this, you would enjoy the challenge that I'm giving away, called the Treat Yourself Challenge - 10 Days, 10 Ways to Shift from Crappy to Happy.  Every day you will try a happiness lesson, just like The Shame Buster. At the end of the 10 days you will understand how to shift from crappy to happy anytime you want and gain a new freedom over how much you enjoy your life.   When you sign up at: InspiringMama.com/TreatYourself, you will get: 10 short happiness lesson videos, an E-Book, and access to our exclusive Facebook group.  Join now: InspiringMama.com/TreatYourself  
Learn how to positively influence the emotional health of your children. Guest Vikki Spencer from The Mom Whisperer will teach you the four stages of influence and layout steps you can take to raise children who are well equipped to handle life’s challenges.   
Learn the steps you can take right now to dramatically cut your stress in half by the end of the day today.  Dr. Leonaura Rhodes, renowned neuroscience expert and mom will teach you how to take back the power over your stress so that you can feel more joy and fulfillment within your life.   
Creating a closer partnership with your body can skyrocket your personal growth journey. Guest Erin Burch, aka The Body Whisperer, shares a mind-blowing new way to think about body alignment and emotional health.    If you've been struggling to change something in your mind, this podcast could be the missing piece to your puzzle. Learn an exercise you can use right now to feel more secure and confident, and learn an awareness technique that can change your relationship with your body.    There is a place in your body where tension is designed to be held. Erin calls it your "core container."  When you learn how to stack your body's blocks properly and carry tension in this core container, you can uncover freedom of movement and emotion. In this episode you will learn how to discover this "core container" on your body to start changing your tension patterns.    Once I lined up my body and learned how to hold myself up the way my body was meant to work, I was able to think more clearly and feel more joy.  It turns out that shifting patterns of tension in your body can be like the fast track to shifting things your mind. Body alignment has actually made my personal growth shifts easier.   Learn more about Erin Burch and sign up for my free online series 3 Minutes to Zen at: Show Notes  
How can we, as parents, relax and enjoy the ride a little more? In this episode, host Lauren Fire discusses what it means to "chill out" when you are stressed and how you can actually change the way that you move and breathe to change the way your body processes stress.  Learn a quick way to feel more relaxed and present during a busy day. Learn how to live and work at a pace that doesn’t mean you sacrifice your health and happiness to take care of your family. And learn how to enjoy it all at the same time!   Summary: I have 2 gears. I either work at a crazy fast pace or I’m crashed out on the couch.  I run, then I burnout. Then I run again. And so on.  I’m like the Hare in the old fable The Tortoise and the Hare.  But instead of sleeping, I’m by the side of the rode watching Mad Men re-runs to zone out, while the Tortoise passes me by.  At this pace, it’s hard to take care of myself.  As a result I’m burned out and exhausted much of the time. But I’m keeping up! Ever feel that way? How do we find a sustainable pace that doesn’t cause us to sacrifice our own health and happiness to take care of our families? And how do we enjoy it all at the same time? 1. Turn Off Survival Mode The first step to finding a sustainable and enjoyable pace is to see what pace or “mode” you’re currently operating in. Look at how you move through your day. Are you running at a hurried and frenzied pace much of the time?  Are you in more of a “survival mode” or are you in more of “enjoyment mode”?  In survival mode, when your son forgot his lunch or the baby missed a nap, you handle it the like a plane crashed and you have to fight off the smoke monster. A slow driver makes you feel like you’re going to rear end him on principal alone.  In survival mode, everything is important, everyone is annoying or frustrating, and you feel like you are always running to catch up.  Honestly, I think I’ve lived on survival mode since I was 18 when my parents got a divorce.  I felt I had to start taking care of myself, grow up, and I started pushing myself to succeed, to work harder, to be the best. Failure was never an option.   Sometimes we need survival mode. We need to act first, kick butt, and take names later. But if you notice that you are prone to burning out or to needing to “zone out” just to keep going, you may be stuck in survival mode.  You may have forgotten that you have a choice in the matter! What’s wrong with survival mode?  First off, it’s actually hazardous to your health.  In survival mode, you are more prone to hit your body’s stress response.  Follow me here, I’m going into biology a bit. Your stress response is your body’s emergency alert system, readying your body to run from a tiger. When that alert is triggered, your body dumps stress chemicals that allow your body to perform at a higher level, to run faster for example.   The alert also causes your body to shut down parts of your system, to divert it’s precious resources to dealing with the tiger. So if you trigger your stress response regularly at smaller events, like slow drivers or tantruming toddlers, your body may be diverting energy from other systems like your immune system or reproductive organs. Ever noticed your body breaking down during times of stress?  Even worse, the more you hit that alert, the easier it gets to trigger, so the more often it will get triggered. This means that as stress increases, your body’s ability to process it actually decreases.  It’s a vicious cycle that I’ve actually been stuck it in many, many times.  Ever had something simple, like a pile of laundry, make you feel like crying or just giving up? This is why.  This is burnout.  And if you operate in a survival mode, like I do, it will keep happening to you.  We need to chill out.  We need to live more in enjoyment mode.  Enjoyment mode is the opposite of survival mode. When you are on enjoyment mode, you don’t sweat the small stuff. You do what needs to be done, but if you make a mistake you are able to let yourself off the hook.  You move through the day slower, at a more deliberate pace. You feel happier and more relaxed. The same slow  driver that drove you over the edge in survival mode now just makes you chuckle.  You are able to enjoy your life more.  We all have the capacity to operate in either mode. But which do you spend more time in?  If you are in survival mode more often, it’s time to ask yourself why? Look back at your life and ask see – was there an event that caused you to feel you needed this mode? Do you still need it?  2. How to Chill Out…You Gotta Gear Down  How fast do you move? How tense are you?  If you were to compare yourself to a car, what speed are you running at most often.   I move very fast. Sometimes I feel like that I can totally relate to that little mouse, Speedy Gonzalez.  I don’t know why. I just do.  If you were to take a deep breath right now, does it feel a little forced? If I said to you – relax your jaw – would you suddenly realize it has been super tense?  Both speed and tension cause your body to think it should be stressed. Your thoughts are not the only thing influencing your stress response. The way you move your body, breath, and carry yourself all influence your stress response.  Your body is constantly feeling, sensing, and evaluating your circumstances to protect you from danger. You can tell your body to be on high alert, like a deer, or you can tell your body that it’s allllll goooood, just by changing a few things.  This exercise is called Gearing Down.  First, tell yourself you need to gear down. Just in your head, say it.  Imagine that you are a car, and you are dropping down into low gear. The car is still powerful, but it’s moving a little slower. Gear yourself down.  Now drop and ground yourself. If you don’t know how to ground yourself, check out my free mp3: How to Ground Yourself – Your Emotional Reset Button.  As you ground yourself, notice your breathing. Are you breathing shallowly? Are you holding your breath? Take a few deep breaths and let your breathing go.  Next, I want you to start moving slower. Just slow everything down. If you are getting breakfast ready, do it…slower. Open the fridge in 3 beats instead of 1. Move across the kitchen in 4 steps instead of 2. Walk slower, cut slower.  When you slow down, you will notice that you have to relax a little. Just as it’s hard to move fast and not be tense, it’s hard to move slowly and not relax.  Slowing down will also get you out of you head and into the present moment.  When you gear down while playing with your children, feeding, or spending time with your partner, you will notice that you enjoy it more. It’s nice, like coming home.   When you gear down, you actually get to treasure the moments with your children in real time.   But you first have to let yourself enjoy it more. At lot of us operate on survival mode because we think we have to.  We work ourselves to the bone to prove something to ourselves or to someone else. We don’t let ourselves enjoy the fruits of our labor, much less our labor!  But you can’t chill out if you don’t give yourself the gift of slowing down. You deserve it. You can work hard AND enjoy it.   Remember, just because you don’t move at the speed of light doesn’t mean you’re not doing a fantastic job!  So gear down mama and start chilling out and enjoying more of your life!  
If you feel like the Sweedish Chef when it comes to projects and tasks in your life (like I do), this episode will change your life. Life systemization expert Megan Flatt teaches simple life management strategies that can clear your overwhelm, cut your anxiety and allow you to live with a new freedom.    Once we become parents, the influx of schedules to balance, stuff to manage, and tasks to juggle can cause undue stress. We have high standards for what we should get done and how our lives should look. But we don’t give ourselves the space to actually learn HOW to do all of this!   When you give yourself time to look strategically at the day-to-day process of your life, you can start to chip away at stressors in a real way. Listen to this episode to take back the drivers seat on the amount of stress that you allow in your life.   Learn more about Megan and to sign up for my free online series - 3 Minutes to Zen: Show Notes Page  
Your personal style is a powerful tool in your transformational toolbox. With a few shifts in your wardrobe, you can re-ignite the AMAZING parts of YOU that get overlooked in the hustle of everyday parenting life.    Stylist Joui Turandot will teach us how to re-ignite ourSELVES by tuning into our personal style. Learn how to use your clothing to bring out the parts of you that you want to show the world.    Learn how to use your wardrobe to shift your emotional state and to create the confidence, sexiness, and joy that you're craving. Break through personal style barriers and negative self-talk and bring the fun back into your wardrobe.    Joui also shares a few style hacks and tricks that she uses to get more out of her closet and to find clothing that really inspires you.    To get my free happiness exercises delivered to your inbox every other week, sign up at: 3 Minutes to Zen  
Get wisdom from the experts in Inspiring Mama's Quick & Dirty Guide to (Actually) Enjoying the Holidays for free here: Get Instant Access   "The way we react when our emotions run really hot means everything to our kids and to the next generation as well.” - Jessica Felix   Yelling doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. It just means that you could use a few more tools in your happiness toolbox. Parenting expert Jessica Felix discusses what happens when you flip your lid. Learn what NOT to do after you yell and how to turn even your most stressed out moment into a powerful learning experience for your children.   Interview Summary:   3:20 - What happens in a child's brain when you yell regularly?    Most of the time. we yell because we are stressed or because we somehow get triggered by our chidden. When you yell regularly at your children, you are programming their brains to respond poorly to stress. By flipping your lid regularly, you are setting them up to flip their own lids easily too. You were probably programed by your parents or caregivers when you were a child as well.    10:40 - What can you do when you yell to rebuild that connection?    Start with an apology. It’s never a bad thing to apologize to your kids. Apologies aren’t just for adults. Don’t make your kids feel like THEY made you yell. Explain that this is not the way you want to be and that you’re sorry for yelling. It’s important for kids to know that you’re not infallible.    Let your kids talk about how it felt for them when you were reactive. They can even draw a picture about it. Ask them open ended questions like - how did that make you feel, what were you thinking when that happened? This allows them to express all of their feelings around what happened. It can be hard to hear as a parent. Be careful not to minimize their feelings.    Modeling this sort of communication is giving your kids tools for dealing with anger and stress in their own lives.    17:10 - What are the wrong ways to rebuild connection after yelling?   Be careful not to make an excuse instead of apology. “I’m sorry I yelled, but you were really stressing me out.” Say I’m sorry I yelled - period. Don’t sweep it under the rug and ignore it either. If you don’t acknowledge that strong emotions exist, you are giving your kids the message that strong emotions are not ok. And try not to swing the pendulum the total other direction by rewarding them. For example, “Sorry I yelled, let’s go for ice cream.” This sets you up for many other pitfalls.    21:30 - What else can we do instead of yelling?    The key to being responsive instead of reacting is preparation. You need a plan for what you will do the next time you get triggered or stressed. Step one is awareness - understand your triggers, the things that really get you right away. Maybe it's defiance or whining. Maybe it’s getting mud in the house.  Triggers are different for everyone. What makes you really angry - maybe irrationally? Now picture it, go there. Think about how you would like to handle it, how you would like to feel.    Triggers bothers us because of something a parent or caregiver did. Be aware that you have them and explore them (when they’re not happening). Then when you can imagine it happening, make a plan for how you would like to respond. Imagine what you can do to stay calm and respond the way that you want to respond. Rehearse it. Imagine your child doing your trigger, feel yourself get upset, then plan how to respond. This is a powerful visualization technique.     Choose realistic (or lower) expectations. If your kids always whine at a certain time of day, be prepared for it. Plan how you will deal with it. Also set realistic expectations for the age of your children. And avoid compare-itis on social media. We see pictures and videos of our friend’s children’s best moments and compare our children. We’re taking everyone’s highlight reals and comparing them to our kids reality. This can raise our expectations of what our children are capable of.    To learn more about Jessica visit the show notes page at here: Episode 17 Show Notes            
InspiringMama.com/TreatYourself Your creativity could be the missing piece in your healing journey. Creativity coach Kathy Stowell will explain how opening your creative channel can improve your mood and expand your overall happiness.   Did you shut the door on creativity when you had a baby or became an adult? Does the word "creativity" conjure up images of puffy paint and hot glue? Creativity is actually not about the finished product. It's about the place you go, the energy you exude while you are in a creative project. Kathy Stowell will explain how you can reopen this channel and rediscover an energy that can heal and transform your life.  She will teach you how to pick new projects that will make you feel more alive and how let go of the perfectionism that may be keeping you stuck.  Like this podcast? Join the Treat Yourself Challenge to learn more about happiness. In  10 Days you will learn 10 ways to shift from crappy to happy whenever you want. Join here: InspiringMama.com/TreatYourself
You have the power to release the worry and anxiety that sometimes comes with motherhood. Guest Amanda Dennis of PeleMa.TV will teach you how to tap into your mama intuition in a deeper way and use your intuition to combat worry and anxiety.
Time to clean your emotional house! Learn how to clear out the cobwebs, people, and past situations that may be keeping you from making the changes you want. Host Lauren Fire will teach you a simple method to do a little spring cleaning in your brain. After this episode, you will know how to go from talking about your problems to actually changing them. We all have crap - baggage that has happened to us. The happiest people aren't the ones with the least baggage, or the most charmed lives. They are just the ones who learned to carry their baggage better - to live beyond their circumstances. Get free happiness methods just like this delivered every other week by signing up here: Get Instant Access In this podcast, learn a method to get rid of your emotional energy suckers. Learn how to shift your perspective on any situation and let go of the resentment, anger, pain, or fear that could be keeping you stuck in many areas of your life. When practiced, this method will help you create an luggage cart for your emotional baggage! Use this method to heal from depression, anxiety, postpartum depression, overwhelm, and burnout.  Connect with me on Instagram: @TheInspiringMama
Learn a two-step exercise that will allow you to feel better fast when you are overtaken with feelings like anxiety, frustration, and overwhelm. Whether it's a gassy newborn, a tantruming toddler, or a kid that won't stop asking why, life doesn't stop just because we are totally overwhelmed. Moms run the show. We still have to feed the baby, get the kids to school, and carry on with our responsibilities. A break is not always an immediate option, even though we are totally out of juice.  In this episode, host Lauren Fire teaches you how to shift your experience immediately to feel more like you can handle the immediate challenge. This practice can change your entire relationship with yourself. Listeners can also download a FREE meditation track that pairs with this episode called How to Ground Yourself. Free at InspiringMama.com/InnerHug Episode Preview: Your experience of any given situation is made up of 3 elements , your thoughts, emotions, and body tensions.  You can use these elements to shift your experience of any given situation, while it's happening.  We start here with your body.  You can use your body to change your thoughts or emotions, just by changing the way you are moving and reducing the tension you are carrying.  You can change your thoughts and emotions to by using the simple self-soothing practice taught in this episode.  When you can calm and soothe yourself, you are unstoppable! Bonus Track! Listeners can download a FREE meditation track called How to Ground Yourself at InspiringMama.com/InnerHug      
Learn a 3-step process you can use to feel more grounded and calm the next time the stuff hits the fan.  Patience is something you can create, in the moment. It just takes practice and awareness.  Have you ever accidentally yelled at someone when you didn't really mean it? It's so easy for emotions to bubble up, especially when we're pulled in so many directions.  With the process that Lauren Fire teaches in this episode, anyone can generate patience when they need it most. The process is called the DIP Process, D for drop your belly, I for saying to yourself "I am not what's happening right now," and G for gratitude.  For a summary of what Lauren Fire teaches, download notes to this episode at InspiringMama.com/episode5      
Who does the dishes more often? Who wakes up more with baby? Who shuttles the kids around more?  While simple, these issues can create resentment that may spell trouble in a relationship.   Guests Marcus and Ashley Kusi of the podcast The First Year Marriage Show and authors of the book Communication in Marriage: How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting, share practical tips and advice for parents on communication, workload distribution, and negotiating the shared responsibility of caring for kids.    According to research, approximately 80 percent of couples experience a huge drop in marital quality during the transition to parenthood. One of the most common sources of marital tension comes from an unequal distribution of the workload that comes with parenthood.    "It’s important to remember that no one is perfect and you’re both going to fail every day…” - Ashley Kusi   Learn how getting on the same team, not keeping score, and appreciating instead of nagging can help balance the workload without fighting.  Learn how to practice “empathetic listening,” and understand how to the appreciate and give your spouse space while also balancing your desire to get things done.    Marcus and Ashley will also teach you how to confront your partner about a workload balance problem as well as how to choose a family theme that will guide not only your relationship but also your children's future relationships.    To get Marcus and Ashley’s E-Book, Family Themes, click here: Get Instant Access    To join my online series and receive an email every other week with a free happiness practice, sign up here: 3 Minutes to Zen      
How do you thrive amid the busyness and overwhelming details of parenthood? Host Lauren Fire discusses the two words that are finally allowing her to make real changes in her life.    "At some point it stops becoming about what happened to you, whatever you blame things on, and it starts being about what you’re doing today in your head to continue that pattern and recreate the situation that is causing your pain, depression or anxiety.” -Lauren Fire     Get Inspiring Mama’s free happiness practices every other week by signing up at: 3 Minutes to Zen
It takes a village. In this episode you will learn how to create one from "momlationship” expert Melanie Dale, the author of the new book Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Finding Mom Friends. Learn how to take a new mom acquaintance through the four “bases” of mom dating to create the nourishing friendships you are craving. “We make each other better moms, better humans,” writes Dale. “We need each other, because mothering is just too darn hard." In this interview, Dale shares her unexpected journey into momalationships and the lessons she has learned as she has built her own support network. Learn how to develop real soul-southing relationships, avoid foot-in-the-mouth moments and navigate the pitfalls of new friendships. Sign up for Inspiring Mama's free online series 3 Minutes to Zen: Short Happiness Practices for Parents - Get Instant Access Learn more about Melanie Dale and buy her book: Show Notes
As moms, why do so many of us stink at making time for ourselves? Why is it so hard and what can we do to take back control? Guest Jessica Turner, author of The Fringe Hours, gives us tips and ideas on how we can actually start to make more time for ourselves. In this powerful interview, Jessica discusses what stops us from making time for ourselves, including the pressure to be everything to everyone, the quest for unattainable perfection, and the guilt we sometimes face when we consider me-time.  She then gives us concrete tips to take back control of our lives, move beyond the people-pleasing, guilt, and pressure into a happier, more fulfilled life. Visit the show notes page for this episode: Making Time Join our community to get a free happiness practice every other week! Get Instant Access  
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood" - Tom Robbins   Learn a new way to think about your relationship with the voices in your head. How do you actually go about reprogramming your brain to change the patterns that cause things like stress, anxiety, depression, self-criticism, and addiction?    In this episode, you will learn how to recognize the destructive voices and patterns in your head and lay down new patterns that support and nourish you. Host Lauren Fire shares the concept of re-parenting and taking back control over the way that you talk to yourself.    This episode will show you how to start to reshape your patterns and reshape how you treat yourself. It’s time to finally change, to finally be the person you’ve always wanted to be. How do you get YOU to emerge? The you that you know you can be…    Show Summary:    I. Re-Parenting Yourself      “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood” - Tom Robbins    We all carry a parent with us in our heads. Most of our character, values, and personality comes from how we were parented as children. We adopted the model of our parents, in our heads. Once you realize this, you can get stuck in blame and anger at your parents, resenting them for how they treated you.    But there is no way out of this. It doesn’t matter what happened to you back then. It already happened. The real issue to focus on is: Who is the parent in your head NOW? At some point it ceases to be your parent’s fault anymore, because you are doing this to yourself. You can stop doing it. You can re-shape the parent in your head.    This podcast episode is about a process you can go through to, in essence, re-parent yourself. You get to create the parent in your head. You can re-shape it. That’s why it’s never too late to have a happy childhood.    II. "It’s My Life!” - Taking Back Control    The first step in re-parenting is to take back control. My daughter is two, and recently started saying “It’s my life!” whenever we try to convince her to brush her teeth or get into bed.    That phrase has stuck in my head so much that I’ve actually started using it in the way I look at my life. Whenever I start to notice the self criticism or the parent that I don’t want controlling my head, I say to myself “It’s my life!”    I don’t want to feel guilty about the clothes on my floor. I don’t want to feel mad at myself for not getting enough done. I want to enjoy my life. I want to enjoy this moment not worry about how my hair looks. It’s my life!   See you are always more than that voice. You are not your critical voice. You have a critical voice. You are the one who observes it. You are the container where the voices live. So don’t let the voices control your day to day experience of your life.    III. Playing Dolls with Your Subconscious - Establishing the New Parent   Now that you have decided you want to take back control, you pick the new patterns that you want. What were you missing in your childhood? What are you doing differently from your parents?  For me, I need more nurturing, support, unconditional love, compassion, emotional support.    Once you decide what you are missing, what sorts of things would you need to say to yourself to invoke these feelings? What sorts of things would you  have wanted your parents to say to you? What would help you now?    For me, its: It’s ok. Trust me. You can trust me. Relax. I’m not going anywhere. NO matter what you do, I will pick you up, I will love you, I will support you. You’re ok. Just cry if you need to. It’s going to look better tomorrow. This is just sadness, you’ll be ok.    I’m recreating in my head the safe place to land that I’ve always needed. I’m creating a place of ultimate compassion, that no matter what, I’ve got my back. No matter what I do or don’t do, I will still love myself. What kind of place do you want to create for yourself?    Now pick scenarios that generally trigger you and cause emotional storms. Role-play in your head how you would like that parent voice to respond. Play dolls, in essence, with the voices in your head.    It will feel weird at first, like these voices are not mature. They are not overly developed. So it’s like you’re dealing with a child in your head that you want to turn into a parent. So you have to be gentle with it.    Practice this regularly and you will start to shift your entire life.    Get a personal growthy tool delivered to your inbox every other week - free - by signing up for 3 Minutes to Zen: Get Instant Access  
I should be working out right now. I should be eating healthier. I shouldn’t be on Facebook. I should should should should! Using the word “should” in your head actually makes you LESS productive and MORE unhappy.    Learn a 3-step process to get rid of the “shoulds” in your head that will empower you and propel you toward what you want.    Use this exercise during times of high stress, anxiety, depression, or whenever you notice that you are feeling more guilt and shame than usual.    Get written exercises like this every other week, FREE by signing up here: Get Instant Access to 3 Minutes to Zen   Here is the 3-Step Process, called The Should-a-Nator:    Step 1: Notice your “shoulds”    What “should” you do? Ask yourself that question and I bet you’ll get a whole flood of all of the shoulds that your brain likes to beat you up with. You shouldn’t watch that much TV. You should be buying organic. You shouldn’t have quit breastfeeding so early. You should be running like that old high school friend on Facebook who lost 30lbs.    Step 2: Ask: Do I “want” to do this? If so, replace “should” with “want.”   Next time you notice a “should,” in real time, ask yourself “do I really want to do that”?    Example: “I should be working out more. Do I want to work out more? Yes I do."    Now replace “should” in your head with “want.”    Example: I want to work out more.    Notice how that makes you feel different than “I should be working out more.” "I want to work out more" propels you forward. It motivates you.    If, every time you think “I should work out” you instead think “I want to work out” you are more likely to take the action of working out.    Shoulds make us feel weak, they make us feel like we are teenagers being instructed by the parent in our head. They make us want to rebel and do the opposite.    Self-abuse is a terrible way to motif ate yourself. If you are doing something to avoid your own harsh criticism, that sort of motivation is not sustainable. Find your want - your desire - for the result that you’re getting. Your desire for the result is the motivation that will take you from shoulding to actually taking action.    if you actually want to accomplish the “should’ then change “should” to ‘want” and work to make that change permanent. The more you correct yourself in your head, the faster you can rewire your brain for success.    Step 3:  If the answer is “No” -Challenge your “should” or  Schedule the task    When you notice something you “should” do, ask yourself “do I want to do this?” If the answer is “no” then it’s time to reevaluate why you are shoulding this. Is the task something that actually needs to be done, or something that you just feel pressured to do? If the task actually needs to be done but you just don’t want to do it (like your taxes for example) then acknowledge that it needs to be done. Acknowledge that you don’t wan tot do it, but have to. and then pull out your calendar and plan a time to actually do it. Just pick a day, block off the time, and plan it. Then you can let it go.    If the task is one you can let go - let it go. For example I hear “I should be making every bit of food that my daughter eats.” When I challenge that, I realize that it’s a ridiculous standard for myself. And I decide to let that one go.    Or “I should be reading more fiction books.” Do I want to read more fiction books? No I don’t. It just seems like something other women do and enjoy. Let it go.      See the difference? 
Ever had an “ah ha” moment that made the world look differently to you? Host Lauren Fire shares her biggest ah ha moment of the year and teaches you how to feel more peaceful in your life right now. Get 10 free happiness lessons when you sign up for Inspiring Mama’s Treat Yourself Challenge. 10 Days, 10 Ways to Shift from Crappy to Happy. Get Instant Access Memorable Quotes: My inner peace has to be more important to me than how much I get done or what other people think.  Most of us feel like we need to be productive or lose weight, THEN we can feel more peaceful. That’s backwards. Work on the peace. Work on the happiness. Work on loving yourself and feeling good in your life, as it is right now, and the rest of it will fix itself. As a mom, my inner peace is essential for my family to be healthy and happy. So I want to have more influence in how I feel. I want to feel more peaceful and I’m going to make it happen. When I made this decision, I stopped caring what that voice in my head thought of me. There is so much freedom in that. If you want to feel more peaceful: 1.     1. Decide that your inner peace is important. 2.     2. Start to become more aware of how you feel, in the moment. 3.     3. Make decisions about how you’re going to feel consciously, based on this new value system. Take the reins back. Choose how you want to respond to other people or events in life and choose inner peace more often. I’d love to hear from you! Connect with me on Instagram and Twitter.
How do you “have it all” without burning out? People keep telling you to “slow down” or “de-stress” but how do you slow down when life won’t slow down? How do you keep your body and mind healthy while trying to be, do and enjoy everything you want? Dr. Karen Osburn takes a new look at burnout. Instead of slowing down when life speeds up, Dr. Karen has learned how to step up. All while taking care of her body, mind, marriage, and children. Learn how she thrives when the going gets tough, and how you can too. "Burnout only happens when you are not fulfilling all your body's needs (physically, mentally and emotionally), OR if you are all in for one aspect of your life (i.e. business), and neglect everything else.” - Dr. Karen Osburn. View the show notes for this episode here: Burnout Get my free happiness exercises every other week by signing up here: Get Instant Access
A sick child, a baby in the NICU, divorce, and loss...how do you cope with the most difficult struggles? Author Kayla Aimee shares her story of finding gratitude and hope through the flood of difficulties she faced when her daughter was born prematurely at 25 weeks.    How do you not hit anyone who says "Everything happens for a reason..."? How do you "stay strong" when you are crumbling and can't find anything to hold onto? How do you find any sort of peace or comfort when life is ridiculously difficult?    When she was born, Kayla's daughter weighed less than six sticks of butter. In her new book, Anchored: Finding Hope in the Unexpected, Kayla shares the life lessons that got her through the hardest and most traumatic time in her life.    "I want her to see me that way as her mom. I want her to seem me as someone who chooses hope and joy and laughter in the middle of hard things. Because I hope as she gets older, she will too. And I hope that will make her path a little bit easier." - Kayla Aimee    In this incredibly powerful interview, Kayla honestly digs into how she dealt with her crisis and shows us the "how" in "how in the world did you get through it?" Her story will give you hope, inspiration, and a path to healing.    Is someone close to you struggling? Kayla's insights will also help you understand the eye of the storm so that you can more effectively help your loved one sail through. This one is not to be missed!    Sign up for 3 Minutes to Zen and I will send you a free happiness practice every week as I write my new book! Get Instant Access
We all have that critical voice in our heads that makes us feel guilty and ashamed. “You’re a bad parent because…” or “why didn’t you work harder and get more done?”  You can’t get rid of it, but you can change the way you relate with it and seize its power over your day-to-day experience. Host Lauren Fire takes you on a journey that will de-throne your judgmental voice and give you back the power to feel more confident, peaceful, and capable in your life. Learn a process you can start using immediately to give the middle finger to your inner judge. “At some point, you will just stop caring what your inner judge thinks of you.” – Lauren Fire Self-criticism is one of the worst ways to motivate yourself.  Although it feels like it’s working, inner judgment, shame, and guilt rob you of self-esteem and can spin you into depression and anxiety. The more you engage with your inner judge by fighting with it or complying, the more powerful it will become.  Numbing it out with alcohol, food or TV doesn’t work either. How do we free ourselves? We must learn to disengage from the judge. In this Podcast you will learn what the inner judge is and where it came from. You will understand how you’ve been engaging with the judge without realizing it, giving it more power. Then you will learn how to change the way you relate to the judge once and for all. Put it in the corner and turn down it’s volume. Click here to sign up for Inspiring Mama’s free online series: 3 Minutes to Zen       
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Podcast Details

Started
Aug 26th, 2014
Latest Episode
Dec 16th, 2015
Release Period
Weekly
No. of Episodes
50
Avg. Episode Length
27 minutes
Explicit
No

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