Did you miss us? As a treat, we've crafted some deluxe Kosher Queers bonus material for you; here's all the short parsha summaries we did throughout the two years of making the podcast, all neatly collected in one place. Get ready for a lot of

100 — V'Zot HaBerachah: What If The Real Blessing…

Sep 23rd, 2021 55m 46s

This week, we talk about the dubious metaphor of Gog and Magog, name our city Pluralism and then rename it again, talk about crumbling empires, and reflect on what we’ve learned about the text over the last two years. We do that because this is

99 — Haazinu: Can I Get a Selah?

Sep 17th, 2021 44m 37s

This week, we debate the unholy combination that is polyamory, ponder the beauty of limericks, flirt briefly with pornoprophetics, and talk frankly a lot about words related to "gadol."Transcript available here, but this week's transcript is al

98 — Vayelech: Ice-Skating Tzadikim

Sep 9th, 2021 43m 40s

Shana tova! This week, we talk about unsatisfying endings, concise prophets, and how a DM slide can be a radical gift of honesty. Also, the pluses and minuses of smooth roads, insufficiently Jewish translation choices, and what having four diff

97 — Nitzavim: Am Bartholomew Chai

Sep 2nd, 2021 53m 48s

This week, we are strongly in favor of having help (both from people and canes), have mixed feelings about Jericho walks, and dislike when trans people are rude about the ways other people are trans. Plus, being flirty but judgemental with G-d!

96 — Ki Tavo: The Top Surgery of Kings

Aug 26th, 2021 42m 53s

This week, we return to the text from our very first pilot episode, and take a fresh look at it two years later! We talk about taking some distance in different types of relationships to be able to return to them better, the importance of mourn

95 — Ki Teitzei: Queer Futurities

Aug 19th, 2021 53m 39s

This week, we discuss metaphorical big-tent design, and the joys and perils (mostly joys) of not getting back together with your exes. Also, a reminder not to argue with randos on the internet and skepticism about people who talk in vague, idea

94 — Shoftim: Go Touch Grass

Aug 12th, 2021 52m 31s

This week, we ponder things that can be both liberatory or oppressive depending on the circumstances, discuss interesting translation choices, and compare divine retribution to "buy one, get one free" sales. Plus, thoughts about debt.Transcript

93 — Re'eh: SHABBATPISODE

Aug 5th, 2021 57m 28s

This week, people are gay for Shabbat, the Shabbos bride brings a dowry of relaxation, and people re-write prayers to make them more gender-balanced, but forget that Judaism has more than four women. Plus, a formal announcement about what's hap

92 — Eikev: What Makes a Parent

Jul 29th, 2021 56m 54s

This week, we talk about bioessentialist familial claims, the metaphorical home renovations you need to do if you want to rekindle an intimate relationship with your estranged children, and gay math. Also, Lulav fails to pluralize in a language

91 — Va’etchanan: All Flesh Is Grass

Jul 22nd, 2021 53m 36s

This week, we talked about creating accessibility rather than uniformity, finding joy for the future out of really tough situations, and keeping kindness on your person in as ordinary a way as wearing your clothes. Also, we shared our first con

90 — Devarim: When Your Kid Becomes A Cop

Jul 15th, 2021 54m 18s

This week, we talk about paradigms of childrearing, giving people space for low-stakes disagreement, and also Kanye lines from 2010.Transcript available here.You can probably still do games on Dreamwidth. Also, Lulav is running and Jaz is playi

89 — Matot-Masei: Born All at Once

Jul 8th, 2021 56m 5s

This week, we talk about abolishing air forces, the human capacity to change large social institutions, and driving lessons. Plus, Jaz can't remember things about Christian theology but does know you can learn different lessons from history, an

88 — Pinchas: Treated Like Children, Acting Like Adults

Jul 1st, 2021 50m 2s

This week, we learn about how if you see a stick in a dream, it's because G-d is sticking by you. Also, we diagnose Jeremiah with ADHD, discuss how new relationship energy can disguise problematic dynamics, and Lulav starts writing A Gamer's Tr

87 — Balak: The Rest is Commentary

Jun 24th, 2021 38m 46s

This week, we talk about mountains as metaphors, Rashi's genital jokes, and being an anti-astrology gay. Plus, we debate anti-assimilation vs anti-colonial readings, and Lulav is a slut for economic interpretation. Transcript available here. S

86 — Chukat: The Other Woman's Son

Jun 17th, 2021 54m 52s

This week, we discuss whether it's a good idea to tell your girlfriend your secrets and let her tie you up, unearned dramatic plot resolutions, and how rough a position messengers must have been in. Plus, what does it really mean to have land "

85 — Korach: Party Down In Stone Town

Jun 10th, 2021 53m 53s

We brush up on Shmuel's reasons to hate kings, listen to him brag about not being a jerk, name a sheyd, make folk etymologies about a coronation party at Gilgal, and sneak a Degrassi reference in there. Also, in more serious news, we discuss ou

84 — Shelach: Historical Hotties and Horrible Hebrews

Jun 3rd, 2021 59m 14s

This week, we discuss a sex worker who hangs out with a king, extremely inconsiderate invaders, and the vibes of different names. Plus serious dilemmas of moral relativity, words that mean "red," and overly horny Talmudic rabbis. We had to mark

83 — Behaalotecha: He’s Not Being A Yankee

May 27th, 2021 43m 29s

This week, Jaz is back, with some sad personal news but (with the benefit of Lulav's editing prowess) decent podcasting energy! We're talking about mistakes and new connections, condescending to unpleasant people who are nevertheless your peopl

82 — Naso: Angel's on First

May 20th, 2021 30m 22s

This week, Jaz was out, so Lulav and guest host Iscah discuss role models who fight altogether too much, being way smarter than your husband, and having your prophesied child take after said husband anyway. They also revisit favorite motifs fro

81 — Bamidbar: SWERP

May 13th, 2021 53m 51s

This week, we brought it back around to pornoprophetics by talking about Hoshea. Jaz and Lulav disagree about what level of reality to read the haftarah on, but both agree that the plain reading of this text describes a really gnarly dude being

80 — Behar-Bechukotai: Bleep Around & Find Out

May 6th, 2021 1h 2m

This week, we were joined by Jill Levinson, Jaz's good friend whose bat mitzvah happened on this Torah portion. We touch on a variety of topics, including BBYO, the nature of man, being a thirsty little desert flower, and cuckoo-lding. Full tra

79 — Emor: Big Transliteration would have you believe it's "zedakah"

Apr 29th, 2021 38m 32s

This week, we talked hereditary leadership, divorce contracts, and illegal sweat. Plus vows in moderation, righteous people that were maybe actually just power-grabbing, and 5D Chess. Full transcript here. We really enjoyed 5D Chess. Here's a p

78 — Acharei Mot-Kedoshim: Builders and Falconers

Apr 22nd, 2021 1h 3m

This week, we have a special guest on the show, Jaz's friend the Hawk, to talk about ghosts, patriotism, and big parental disses.Our transcript will be delayed this week unfortunately, but will be up as soon as possible. The poem Jaz quotes tha

77 — Tazria-Metzora: Magical Separatists

Apr 14th, 2021 40m 20s

This week, Jaz has hot takes about major Jewish community events, Elijah's boyfriend says some unnecessarily cryptic stuff, and there are problems with magic systems. Also, there's discussion about magic and then different literary genres for a