Best Episodes of Listen Rinse Repeat

You think you know math? You don't know math.  INT. OFFICE IT GUY How was the math test? MATH GIRL Inconclusive. IT GUY You took a math test and you got an “inconclusive”? MATH GIRL No, I didn’t take a test. We’re testing math. IT GUY You’re testing MATH ITSELF? MATH GIRL Math has shown some alarming trends. IT GUY What’s wrong with math? MATH GIRL Among other things, it’s warming. IT GUY MATH WARMING? MATH GIRL What are you doing? IT GUY I’m just compiling this week’s reports. MATH GIRL How many numbers are you using? They’re all over your screen. You’re wasting too many numbers, you’re a menace. IT GUY I - MATH GIRL In 100 years, there may not be any more math thanks to people like you. Pete Barry is a co-creator of the audio comedy Mission: Rejected. He is an award-winning screenwriter, playwright, actor, director and musician. He was named a 2013 Young and Hungry List writer, and Sony Pictures is currently developing his screenplay Marian. 

PUNCH IT IN THE FACE Witch:  You must pass a test. Now answer wisely. What do you do when life gives you lemons? Carlötta:  You make lemonade? Witch:  Wrong! You punch it in the face. What happens when the going gets tough? Carlötta: The tough get going? Witch:  Wrong! The tough punch the going in the face! Carlötta:  I think I’m getting it. Narrator:  Wash your hands so they’ll be nice and clean for when you punch Coronavirus in the face. A PSA from the Carlötta Beautox Chronicles. Show notes: Carlötta:          Samantha Gordon Witch:              Sarah Agor Narrator:         Ann Sloan Written and produced by Ann Sloan Music:             The Chamber by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4486-the-chamber License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

This piece features the character “The Lady Noor” from the Alternative Stories and Fake Realities miniseries “The Angel’s Calling” by Victoria J Price Noor is played by Iraqi / Norwegian actress Saya Zahawi who has appeared in a number of Alternative Stories episodes and in BBC Radio Drama. Music and sound design are by Chris Gregory Transcript :                 “Call it magic, call it energy, call it what you will. Often it is our belief in something that helps the magic to grow. Witches like you and I hold the power within our fingertips to change the world.  We can save a life, maybe many lives and all you need is soap and water.”  About Alternative Stories and Fake Realities  Alternative Stories and Fake Realities is an anthology podcast producing audio drama, short fiction and poetry using writers and actors from both sides of the Atlantic from its base right in the middle of England. You can find us by searching alternative stories in your favourite podcast app or clicking on https://www.buzzsprout.com/411730 We’re social on twitter https://twitter.com/StoriesAlt And Instagram https://www.instagram.com/stories.alt/ Email:  office@alternativestories.com  

INDIFFERENCE TRANSCRIPT WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY JORDACHE AND NIKKI RICHARDSON Are you tired? Are you stressed out? Are you constantly worried? Try the restorative powers of indifference Order now and get a 3 pack of vanilla, chocolate, and plain I used to overthink everything, until I found indifference… Warning: may cause bloating, a decreased sex drive, apathy, homicidal tendencies, hearing voices, regret, listening to the voices, spontaneous implosion, bees, the wrath of all bears on earth, unlimited pixie sticks, diarrhea, fruitcake, and mild swelling. Indifference was written and performed by Jordache and Nikki Richardson from the Top of the Round Podcast. Nikki and Jordache Richardson are married Washingtonians that edit, produce, and perform on the podcast Top of the Round. They have 2 fur babies and enjoy everything having to do with podcasting and voice acting. Totrpodcast.com Twitter: @totrcast Instagram: @topoftheround Facebook: @topoftheround Music from https://filmmusic.io "Fancy Family" by Rafael Krux (https://www.orchestralis.net/) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Do thunderstorms awaken the wolf in you? Or the witch? Transcript: It was the perfect storm. The thunder was equal parts crackle and boom, and the lightning that followed threw off shards of light, split the dark and sewed it up again. This night, this moon, this storm were for wolves and witches, and Sara, who was a bit of both, headed towards the mountaintops where the wild things were. Voiced by: Bonnie Brantley Written by: Shannon Perry Find more by both of us on Oz 9 podcast. Available on about any podcatcher, including wherever you're listening to this.     

LISTEN RINSE REPEAT    Dad Takes the Call     Lee Shackleford SOUND:  PHONE RINGS (EXT), IS PICKED UP DAD:   Hello? Yes --  I’ll call her to the phone! But -- while I have you on the line, I want you to know that my daughter is my precious baby -- don’t interrupt -- and you both have age-appropriate hormones raging, so it’s not impossible that the two of you may suddenly find yourselves as prospective parents! So just know that you and my grandchild will be welcomed into this family with all--Hello?  Hello?  SOUND: HANG UP PHONE DAD:   Heh heh. ============= SHOW NOTES: When I was a young man, somebody’s dad did this to me. I never forgot it. -- Lee Shackleford of RELATIVITY  -- www.relativitypodcast.com 

Service Human #1: Can I help you? Human #2: Yes, can I get two pancakes with a side of bacon? Human #1: You do realize this is the Army Recruitment Office… Human #2: Oh. Well then I’ll have two pancakes with a side of bacon, and thank you for your service. Written by David S. Dear, producer of A Ninth World JournalVoice of Human #2 Featuring Lee Shackleford, producer of Relativity PodcastVoice of Human #1

Sea Terrors by Mike Gagne Transcript: INT: BRIDGE OF UNNAMED COAST GUARD CUTTER SOUNDS: Nighttime, sea ambiance, slight rumble of engines in the background. UNRELIABLE NARRATOR I stand my watch every night, midnight until zero-four. Last night was different. Out of a nowhere, a massive vessel bore down on us from the port side. Came out of nowhere. I yelled to the helmsman, "Hard to starboard! Port ahead full!" We were too late. I reached for the collision alarm right before the moment of impact, but felt nothing. I looked over my shoulder to see the skeletal bridge crew of the ship passing right through us. Credits: Mike Gagne is a full time Coastie, (almost) full time podcaster, husband and father of three. Boston Harbor Horror Libsyn Feed: https://bostonhorror.libsyn.com/rss These micro episodes: Sea Terrors - Ghost Ship and Sea Terrors - Arrival, were written, produced and voice acted by Mike Gagne of Asylum 94 Productions, home of Boston Harbor Horror.

Today Raymond sits down with Smudge the dog. We talk about paw washing. This is a weird one even for me. But our guest was great. Written, Recorded, Edited, and all the things by Raymond Morse from 5 & 30 With Ruk Guest for this episode was Smudge the doodle If you want to find more by Raymond just look for @5and30withRuk on Twitter TRANSCRIPT Just when you thought my show could not get weirder I am joined today by Smudge .. the dog. Say hi Smudge Dog barking Ok first and only question bud, tell me how you feel paw washing? Much barking Well huh I had no idea. Do you have a reason for that or? Single bark Well there you have it folks, even Smudge says to wash your hands. And if you have listened to this while doing so congrats your hands are clean Final bark

Episode description  In between faking people’s death, the Interviewer is practicing diligent hand washing. And singing. The Amelia Project is a fiction podcast by Imploding Fictions.  Link to the main show  http://theameliaproject.libsyn.com/rss  Show notes  Written by Øystein Ulsberg Brager of The Amelia Project.   Performed by Alan Burgon.   Edited by Philip Thorne.  Sound mixing by Robert Rustad Amundsen.  Web: ameliapodcast.com  Twitter: @amelia_podcast  Instagram: @ameliapodcast  Transcript of  “Here comes the soap”  by The Amelia Project  THE INTERVIEWER IS WASHING HIS HANDS.   WE CAN HEAR WATER RUNNING AND THE SQUISHING OF SOAP.   THE INTERVIEWER  (singing merrily to the melody of “Here come’s the bride”)  Here comes the soap!  Bubbles and hope!  Washing my hands   is much better than... Uhm... dope! Hah!   I like the letter C!  Cocoa and cream tea!  I don’t like corona  and iiiiiit! Woooooon’t! Catch meeeeeeeee!  (Shouting to another room)  Alvina? Alvina! Are we supposed to wash our hands for thirty seconds... or thirty minutes?  (Beat)  Alvina, we’re out of soap!    CREDITS  This episode of Listen, Rinse, Repeat was written by Øystein Ulsberg Brager of The Amelia Project, featuring Alan Burgon as The Interviewer.  

John P. Dowgin is a published playwright and screenwriter currently residing in New Jersey. His screenplay 'Mile 42' was a finalist at the '17 Austin Film Festival. John also co-created the comedy podcast 'Mission: Rejected' (@MissionRejected on Twitter) with his partners at The Porch Room, an independent production company whose works have been performed on three continents. A number of their plays have been published by Samuel French as part of the compilation 'Accidents Happen'.  ANNOUNCER: PBS proudly presents, Ken Burns ‘Quarantine’  Dearest Eulabelle  The reckoning has come. The damn'd Stop n Shop rebels have fortified positions near the Charmin, but in their fatigue, have failed to defended the 'As Seen on TV' endcap. Shamwows will be their undoing. We ride at dawn.  Yours, Ambrose  ANNOUNCER: Produced by John and Faith Dowgin of the Mission: Rejected podcast.   

J. Michael DeAngelis is a writer, actor and director. He is a co-creator, writer and producer for the Porch Room’s full-cast podcast comedy Mission: Rejected. TRANSCRIPT CARL Put the ghost light out, Fred. FRED Why do we leave a lamp on in an empty theater? It’s such a waste of electricity. CARL It’s not for people, boy. It’s for the ghosts. You can feel them, can’t you, Fred? Hear the footsteps in the catwalk when you know there’s no one up there? See the costume room door open by itself? Hear music from the pit when you thought you was alone in the theater? They’re here, Fred. They’re all around us! AND THEY DEMAND WE KEEP THE GHOST LIGHT BURNING - FOR IF YOU TURN IT OFF... FRED What are you doing, Carl? CARL If you turn it off... FRED CARL, STOP. CARL If you turn it off.. SFX: The click of the light going out and then Fred falling into the pit. CARL ...then someone is likely to fall off the stage in the dark, you putz. Now come on, we’ve got a party to go to. Written by J. Michael DeAngelis, voiced by J. Michael DeAngelis and Pete Barry

A great, 60-second question: Where do lakes come from? Lather up and give this explanation a listen! Find more stories by Allison Schleisman and more voicework by Thomas Anthony Jones by finding Elaine's Cooking for the Soul on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever else you find your survivalist podcasts. www.patreon.com/elainescooking TRANSCRIPT: When the Big Mice arrived, they landed in the mitten-shaped state of Michigan. This was long before mittens were a thing. The Big Mice liked Michigan, but it surrounded by nothing but empty canyons. So they set out to find water. Which they did. Find water, I mean. Each Big Mouse filled its cheeks up real big, ran back to Michigan, and spit into the empty canyons. They put on floppy hats and learned how to do underwater somersaults. It was nice. But the Big Mice had other worlds to explore, and eventually piled back into their translucent traveling sphere and rolled away, leaving behind nothing but good vibes. This was long after good vibes were a thing. Story written by Allison Schleisman Voice by Thomas Anthony Jones Artwork by Tyler Snodgrass: on Instagram @tyler_snod and on Twitter @tylersnod

Dwayne Farver Manifestations Transcript Growing up, there was a recurring dream that I would have.  I would go into a room, turn on the light, but there was a flash – and the bulb would immediately burn out. So, I would go into another room to turn on that light so I could see to change the other lightbulb.  But when I would turn that light on, flash!  No lights there either. That was when the dread would set in.  I knew they were there.  Shadowy figures standing in the corners. One time, something made me angry.  I rushed at the one closest to me, with my hands outstretched to grab it.  What I grabbed on to felt like denim overalls. That was when I woke up, laughing hysterically.  It was also the last time I had the dream. This episode of Listen Rinse Repeat was written and voiced by Dwayne Farver of Manifestations podcast. The scene music is "The Dark Side."  It is used with permission from the composer, Chill Carrier. https://chillcarrier.bandcamp.com/track/the-dark-side       Where to find me: Website:          http://www.podmanifest.com/ Hosting:           http://podmanifest.libsyn.com/ RSS Feed:           https://podmanifest.libsyn.com/rss Twitter:           https://twitter.com/PodManifest Instagram:       http://www.instagram.com/podmanifest/ Facebook:        https://www.facebook.com/podmanifest/ Contact us:      manifestationspodcast@gmail.com

Gregory Bratton is a songwriter, recording artist, and the creator of the podcast, Inspector Virlo Morton Lee. Show Notes The First Time on Mars A husband takes a giant leap for hygiene. Written and performed by Gregory Bratton from Inspector Virlo Morton Lee Music by Chip Michael Sound FX from https://freesound.org/ Creative Commons 0

Listen Rinse Repeat: Maddy Searle : Show notes This piece features the character of Hazel, an Earth Witch from the Alternative Stories and Fake Realities miniseries “The Angel’s Calling” by Victoria J Price Hazel is played by British voice actor and writer Maddy Searle, the creator and performer of the podcast The Prickwillow Papers Music and sound design are by Chris Gregory Transcript :   “As an Earth witch, I know a thing or two about magic.  I'll let you in on a secret: there's a little magic inside all of us, and it can be found in even the smallest of gestures. A laugh, a smile, checking in on a friend. You have magic in you, too.  Make sure you use it.”

Show Notes: Lasso the Tin Dog found Timmy at the bottom of a well! Produced by Talon Stradley of Newton’s Dark Room. Transcript: [Metallic clanking] Cowdud: What is it, boy? [Metallic clanking] Cowdud: Oh no! Timmy fell down a well? [Metallic clanking] Cowdud: Well which well is it? [Metallic clanking] Cowdud: The one by the radioactive plant! [Metallic clanking] Cowdud: Well I better go back and get my keys so I can unlock— [Urgent metallic clanking] Cowdud: There’s no time because he’s chewing on a uranium ingot? [Metallic clanking] Cowdud: Oh, c’mon Lasso, let’s go! Talon Stradley is a writer, musician, and audio producer based out of Long Beach, California. He is the creator of the award winning fiction podcast Newton’s Dark Room Presents as well as his other podcasts Main Street Mythology, The Whole Way Through, and Cochlea. Talon is currently working on his Recording Arts degree at Cal State Dominguez Hills. Main Show Link: https://link.chtbl.com/NDRP

November 2012 – part 1 of 3 Transcript: (front door opening, outside ambience, footsteps) I look down at him, in his red snowsuit and his black hat with white stars sprinkled all over it, and I think: We did it. We made it all the way here. I take his hand and we walk across the parking lot. He looks up at me, proud of his newfound walking skills. Whoopsidaisy. Almost fell there. But all is well. CREDITS  This micro-memoir in three parts was written, produced and voiced by Karin Heimdahl. Karin is the creator of audio drama Y2K. Find out more at y2kpod.com Sound effects either created by Karin, or from freesound.org under the Creative Commons 0 license.

Once, in Cobalt... I ran until my feet could no longer carry me. I slumped down against a tree to catch my breath hoping he wasn’t close behind. I heard the stories, but I didn’t think they were true. Old Yellow Top? A name that makes a monstrous humanoid beast sound more like a child’s teddy bear. But I heard the footfall and I knew he was there before I even turned my head… where he held out a trillium, the first of the season and then slumped down beside me, smiling. Maybe his name was appropriate after all. This episode of Listen, Rinse, Repeat was written and voiced by Jackie Jorgenson of the original fairytale audio drama, Tales From The Aether. Show Link:​ ​https://anchor.fm/talesfromtheaether   Podchaser of Tales From The Aether: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/tales-from-the-aether-972129 My Podchaser Creator Page: https://www.podchaser.com/creators/jackie-jorgenson-107a4YsYHW  Jackie Jorgenson is a 5x award-winning actor with comedy and classical training. She is also a 3x award-winning screenwriter with a focus on comedy, drama, and fantasy.

I have something that I need you to do for me, since you’re already pausing to wash your hands. I need you to remember something super-important. Isolation isn’t just a physical thing. It’s mental, as well, and it can be scary and hard and dark. But you matter. I mean it. Even when you’re alone, you’re not. Reach out. Call. Text. You matter. You really do. Ignorance Was Bliss website: iwbpodcast.com Kate is a forensic psychologist and crisis clinician who collects stories, in an attempt to figure out how we become who we are.

Written and Narrated by Robert Chauncey Produced by Haunted Griffin Entertainment for Listen Rinse Repeat For more information: Haunted Griffin Entertainment Website: http://www.hauntedgriffin.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HauntedGriffinEntertainment Twitter: @hauntedgriffin Discord: https://discord.gg/pavBrXK Tunnels Twitter: @TunnelsPodcast https://tunnelspodcast.libsyn.com/rss Haunted Hell House of Horror Twitter: @hhhohpod https://hhhohpod.libsyn.com/rss Marigold’s Ghosts https://marigoldsghosts.libsyn.com/rss TRANSCRIPT I planned for everything. Everything. The poison was deadly, but that was only in larger doses. In smaller doses, it just put you to sleep. Fast asleep, and it kept you asleep. The fire would take care of the rest. What I didn’t plan for was you being such an utter bastard that you would kiss me before you fell out. I tried to get out, but I’m so, so tired, and the fire is getting brighter and brighter. I can feel my face getting hotter, but my eyes, they just won’t stay... Written and Narrated by Robert Chauncey Produced by Haunted Griffin Entertainment for Listen Rinse Repeat

This episode of Listen, Rinse, Repeat was written, produced, and performed by Gabriel Alvarez of Starcalled: a sci-fi, action audio fiction podcast. Sound and music also by Gabriel. Special thanks to Shannon Perry of the Oz-9 podcast and David S. Dear of A Ninth World Journal. TRANSCRIPT start Ships fly past -- shooting their blast cannons! THE MAN: They’re gaining on us. Open that control panel and get the shields back online. You pry open an access panel and hack the ship’s engineering matrix. THE MAN: I’ve got to make the calculations for hyperjump. BEEP! COMPUTER: Shields online. THE MAN: Whoa. Whatever you’re doing back there, it’s working. The ship charges up. THE MAN: Almost… there. COMPUTER: Hyperjump in 5 seconds. BEEP! THE MAN: That’s it! Hang on! COMPUTER: Initiating hyperjump. The ship flies off into the stars. end NARRATOR: This episode of Listen, Rinse, Repeat was written, produced, and performed by Gabriel Alvarez of Starcalled. Find out more on Twitter @starcalledradio.

This episode of Listen, Rinse, Repeat was written, produced, and performed by Gabriel Alvarez of Starcalled: a sci-fi, action audio fiction podcast. Sound and music also be Gabriel. Special thanks to Shannon Perry of the Oz-9 podcast and David S. Dear of A Ninth World Journal.  start GUARDS (O.S.):​ Up here -- they went this way! Move, move, move!  THE MAN: ​We’re out of time. You’re good with locks right?  He pulls you to a locked door.  THE MAN: ​Get those hands moving.  He knocks on the door.  THE MAN: ​This door’s the only way back to the ship. I’ll hold them off.  He cocks his plasma bolter.  THE MAN: ​You’d better be as good as they say.  You unlock the first set of calipers on the door.  THE MAN:​ You’re almost through… ...you’re pretty good. Don’t think you’re gonna get a bigger cut.  The door unlocks and slides open.  THE MAN: ​That’s it! Move!!  You both run through the door. He closes it. He grabs your shoulder.  THE MAN:​ Hey. Nice work back there. Now let’s get to the ship.    end NARRATOR: ​This episode of Listen, Rinse, Repeat was written, produced, and performed by Gabriel  Alvarez of Starcalled: a sci-fi, action audio fiction podcast. Find us on Twitter @starcalledradio. 

Written by Eddie Louise | Performed by Justin Bremer Gardigal slammed his staff into the hard, slate flagstones, the ringing thunk timed to his footsteps as he traversed the breezeway between domestic chambers and his tower. He was not sure what Eilidgh thought she was up to, but the ridiculous notion that she could choose her own future was a weed that he would soon prune from her garden. The wails of the girl’s tears danced in his wake and a small smile crooked the corner of his lips. He would turn the child’s weakness to his advantage. Her hysterics were proof that she was incapable of arranging her own marriage. Gardigal would do what was best. [Chuckle evilly over screams of the princess] CREDITS: Justin Bremer plays The Narrator in THE TALES OF SAGE AND SAVANT. Eddie Louise is writer and co-producer of same. Find them on Twitter @SageAndSavant or at www.SageAndSavant.com  

Wedding Dress  Written by Charlotte O’Farrell  Voice : Joy Hayward  Music and Sound Design : Chris Gregory  Charlotte O’Farrell is a horror writer. A lifelong fan of the genre, she aims to share her love of the weird and wonderful with her readers.  Her stories have appeared in 25 anthologies.  She writes daily flash fiction on Twitter. @ChaOFarrell and always enjoys interacting with her readers.  She lives in Nottingham with her husband, daughter and cat.   https://www.amazon.com/Charlotte-OFarrell/e/B07SBKX1G6?ref=dbs_p_ebk_w0m_abau_000000  Joy Hayward is a prolific voice actor and member of the Alternative Stories team.   Transcript :  “Beautiful, I told the wedding store owner, admiring my dress.  I wish I didn’t have to take it off!   A dark look fell over the owner’s face. My joints locked instantly.  I’m wearing it still, a mannequin in a window. I hope someone sees the silent scream in my eyes ”   Alternative Stories and Fake Realities is an anthology podcast producing audio drama, short fiction and poetry using writers and actors from both sides of the Atlantic from its base right in the middle of England.   You can find us by searching alternative stories in your favourite podcast app or clicking on https://www.buzzsprout.com/411730  We’re social on twitter https://twitter.com/StoriesAlt  And Instagram https://www.instagram.com/stories.alt/  Email:  office@alternativestories.com