Hey, you know that kid from History class that never talks? His parents are out of town this weekend and he’s having a party! We should totally go and be thankful for the opportunity to party, get wasted, and then just lose our shit and ruin al

Lou Reads 189 – Biblical Gender Roles and How to Follow them!

Aug 8th, 2020 1h 7m

Oh, hello. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? As you may have read on the Lou Reads Facebook page I haven’t felt very inspired to record anything for a while. I started and stopped several episodes on drugs and one about some kind of porn-related th

Lou Reads episode 188 – The Forums Measurection.com

Dec 31st, 2019 57m 26s

According to Medical News Today, “As much as 45 percent of men believe they have a small penis.” Certainly, there are a lot of factors to this low self-opinion. While I’m not going to offer a solid argument on all the reasons I think it’s safe

Lou Reads ep 187 – NSFW Stories from High School

Nov 22nd, 2019 35m 26s

I don’t remember a lot from High School but what I do recall is mainly the dumb shit my friends and fellow classmates got into. Most of my stories from High School revolve around drinking too much and doing graffiti (separately). A kid did brin

Lou Reads ep 186 – Rub Maps – Happy Ending Advice

Oct 2nd, 2019 43m 12s

Have you ever had this conversation? “Look, it’s my first time going to get a “massage” and I’m not sure how to make sure my “massage” ends in a “happy ending.” I mean, if it just ends in just getting my body relaxed with a real “massage” I gue

Lou Reads ep 185 – Adult DVD Forums

May 31st, 2019 56m 18s

It wasn’t so long ago that DVD’s were the awesome collectables. Now, of course DVD’s are taking up space in your home because we all just stream everything. This month’s forum is all about people who hang out the AdultDVDTalk Forums. It’s a fai

Lou Reads ep 184 – Complaining About Friends on The Internet from Something Awful.

May 8th, 2019 1h

Everyone has problems with their friends and family. But sometimes it can be too complicated to actual confront them with these problems. Why? Well, maybe because if you did your friend might shoot you! Or maybe your family might also shoot you

Lou Reads ep 183 – The Best of Craigslist –

Mar 20th, 2019 41m 48s

Well, something happened last time and the audio file disappeared from the post… ANYWAY, Craigslist is an anomaly on the internet. While some minor tweaking and tinkering has gone on, it remains basically the same ugly-but-useful website that w

Lou Reads 182 – Deep in the Pits of Armpit-Fetish.com

Mar 5th, 2019 46m 50s

Greetings, friends and those interested in the more obscure parts of the internet. This months episode is a visit to the fabulously spam-destroyed pages of Artpit-Fetish.com. This site was once the home of a small number of folks that really li

Lou Read Ep181 Bonus – Learn Prostate Massage Again and Again!

Jan 30th, 2019 29m 15s

Are you feeling the protrusion yet? Please enjoy this episode about milking your prostate. If you don’t know how to milk your prostate by the end of this episode then you just aren’t trying very hard…

Lou Reads ep 181 – The Spicy Talk Forums

Jan 17th, 2019 1h 1m

As a married man who hates breasts I could not get down with this forum. I mean, who likes breasts? Especially breasts full of milk that are being shared with lots of grown dudes and ladies looking for some kind of Adult Nursing Relationship? O

Lou Reads ep 180: Do you have the stomach to endure the Big Guts Forum?

Dec 1st, 2018 50m 32s

I think we can all agree that everyone loves that feeling when you go to try on some clothes and realize that we’ve gotten too fat to fit into then. I think “super proud, content and certain that we’re living our best life” is probably the best

Lou Reads ep 179 – The Visit Beyond the Vail of Afterlife Forums

Oct 30th, 2018 1h 15m

What happens to us when we die? What happens to us before we are born? Somehow the people at this forum know, with certainty, that everything is going to be alright. Especially after you die. This is truly amazing considering I can barely figur

Lou Reads episode 178 – The Joys of Smoking Spice and K2 from Erowid!

Sep 28th, 2018 59m 40s

Hey, I know that drug laws are lame and whatever, but what if I told you that you could get super high… legally! What if I told you that there was this drug that was pretty much like marijuana but was totally legal. What if I told you that you’

Lou Reads ep177 Tales of Escorts First Clients from Reddit

Aug 30th, 2018 50m 20s

Hey, I know we just has sex and that I paid you for that sex because you’re an escort. But, I really feel that in this 10 minute encounter that we’ve bonded and I’d really like to see you again. And, also have sex with you again for money. But,

Lou Reads ep176 – Dark Secrets Shared from Reddit

Jul 25th, 2018 51m 20s

What’s that now? You want me to share some of my darkest secrets with the internet? Well, gee… I mean, I’ve seen and done some terrible things in my life but I’m not sure I want to post them on THE INTERNET… Oh, you think I should make a throwa

Lou Reads ep175: The parasite infested forums of The Cure Zone

Jun 24th, 2018 50m 14s

You know that feeling you get when the world is telling you that you should take anti-psychotic medicine to deal with the invisible parasites you’re being plagued by? And you know the feeling you get when you tell the doctors you don’t want to

Lou Reads ep 174 – The Forums of Prison Talk

May 16th, 2018 59m

Have you considered marrying a man who you’ve only known through a pen pal connection? In this age of swiping right or left to instantly connect with someone, you can still find some people who are meeting people like it’s 1980 or something! Pr

Lou Reads ep173 – SOLO SUCK FORUMS

Mar 29th, 2018 1h 9m

I’m not doing myself any favors by reading from the forums of Solo Suck. I knew it would be tough to read and yet, I persisted. Just like Elizabeth Warren! Except instead of standing up to the GOP I stood up to my own stomach and challenged it

Lou Reads ep 172 – Men Wear Bras – A Support Forum

Mar 1st, 2018 58m 9s

Hey can you help me with the clasp on this thing? I was so easy to undo when it was on a lady. Seriously, I was a one-hand, no-look, two-finger bra-undo-er. But now that it’s on my body I’m having a hell of a time getting this bra off! Luckily

Lou Reads ep 171 – The Human Santapede – Part 2

Jan 15th, 2018 1h 32m

Here it is! The not so long, but still long awaited part two & conclusion to the harrowing novel The Human Santapede!.” I hope you enjoy finishing off this particularly silly bit of reading. I must admit that although a lot of the book was real

Lou Reads ep 170 – Meet Fighters: A One Stop Shop for Boxing, Wrestling & Boner Lovers

Jan 7th, 2018 53m 1s

Hey there! I was just thinking about you! Oh, I was just thinking that you should come over, have a couple of drinks and then, I don’t know, take off your clothes and wrestle me to see who gives who a blowjob. You know, just normal guy stuff. W

Lou Reads ep 169 – The Human Santapede – Part 1

Dec 30th, 2017 1h 31m

Happy holidays! It’s taken forever but just two days ago I did a stream of myself reading from The Human Santapede on Twitch. I made it all the way to chapter 16 before I tapped out. So please enjoy this stupid reading I did! I just finished re

Lou Reads ep168 More Trip Reports from the Forums of Bluelight.Org

Nov 22nd, 2017 1h 1m

Hey everyone, sorry this episode took so long. I’ve been too busy plugging all these Chinese research chems day & night to record. And while I am high as a kite these drugs appear to have removed my ability to read & write (I’m dictating this a

Lou Reads posts from Hiccup Forum

Oct 26th, 2017 1h

Oh boy, did I see someone with a case today! She was walking down the street and I could see her hiccuping and grabbing at her throat. It was so hot! Then I realized she was actually choking on some food that went down the wrong pipe. That was