Deprivation is doing without. It's when we live less than we should be living, and we don't get what we really need, desire, and deserve. This episode is all about overcoming deprivation and loving yourself. I talk about how deprivation affects us when we are doing without. I talk about what deprivation looks like in your life and what to do about it. I also talk about the next steps to take once you discover that there is deprivation in your life.

Show Notes

• [06:21] I went to a module on work and financial disorders for my CSAT certification course. This was how gambling, compulsive giving, under earning, or any other financial compulsions are specifically connected to our traumas.
• [07:19] I see this all the time and I needed tools to help other people and to help myself.
• [08:13] Deprivation is anytime that you are perpetually living in lack for a specific need. This is anytime we go without any need purposely.
• [09:11] We are talking about the way that we deprive our own selves and the way that we get in the way of feeling full, healed, and good enough.
• [09:29] A person who lives in deprivation pushes away positive things that would make them feel good.
• [11:13] You deprive yourself of extras, luxuries, things that you consider frivolous and that you don't need.  You could keep love and relationships at a distance or have a poverty mentality.
• [12:34] There are often feelings of worthlessness or shame or emotional deprivation.
• [13:19] Three types of deprivation the first one is the unworthiness. The second one is the narcissistic deprivation. This is where you feel like you're a victim and nobody does anything for you or pays attention to you.
• [14:05] The last one is introjected or where you feel others deserve more than you. You feel that you aren't pretty enough, worthy enough or deserving enough.
• [14:34] Maybe you are interjected because you were trained in a home where you were taught to be codependent and put other people first.
• [15:01]  Career-wise you could be an under earner. This is operating under your expertise. You might not be happy here but at least it feels safe.
• [15:55] Sexual deprivation may be letting yourself go a long time without sex. This is also not expressing your desires during an intimate situation. Not telling your partner what you need is sexual deprivation. Depending on someone else to give you pleasure is also sexual deprivation. You may not even know what you like.
• [18:26] Spiritual deprivation is not having a spiritual or mindfulness daily practice.
• [19:09] Financial deprivation can even be hoarding money without spending it.
• [20:24] Depriving yourself of things that you actually can't afford or thinking it feels wrong to get them is another form of deprivation.
• [20:53] There are needs that you have. If you can't meet them, you are going to find something or someone outside of you to meet them.
• [21:41] Another form of deprivation is wanting everything to be free or the cheapest possible.
• [22:38] You can also deprive yourself by living in an area or environment that isn't safe or just isn't pleasant.
• [23:53] You can also deprived yourself with the amount of time that you alot to things.
• [25:30] You had role models that showed you how to do these negative things. Write out your story about whatever set the example to do these negative things.
• [26:10] Once you see what that story is write out what you want your story to actually be. Then take the steps to achieve that.
• [27:00] You never learned how to take care of you because your caregivers didn't do it for you or you were codependent and took care of everyone else's emotional needs.
• [27:24] Get in touch with your first memory of denying what you want for the greater good.
• [28:00] Tell yourself that it is okay to want these things and start to reclaim that.
• [30:04] Stop romanticizing deprivation and give up your attachment to the struggle.
• [31:45] Deprivation Detox. An 8 week program starting in November.
• [32:43] This is cuffing season for temporary relationships. This is the time of year when family members will come to mind. This is the best time for the Deprivation Detox Workshop. We will meet Tuesday nights at 7:30 CST. Attendance or 6 of 8 weeks is mandatory. The group will be limited to 12 people.
• [35:44] There are 12 basic needs. During the workshop, each person will pick one and that is what they will be working on during that time. Trying to do too much is built to fail.
• [37:14] Find people who will hold your pain and be there for you.

Links and Resources:

• Shena Tubbs
• Shena Tubbs on Instagram
• Shena Tubbs on Facebook
• Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
• [email protected]
• Deprivation Detox