It all started like a fairytale. You met this charming person and they made you feel so special. They were so good, so smart, so caring, and so loving. You felt that unique connection and you truly believed that you have finally found the love of your life. It was all so romantic, so amazingly perfect.
Yes. It WAS. At the beginning. That beginning you are playing again and again in your mind and can’t understand where it went. How did that wonderful person disappear? When did this “evil twin” replace them?
How can your partner be so different from the person you once fell in love with to the point that they feel like a totally different person? Have you done something wrong? When did the fairytale turn into this horror movie you live in today?
If you resonate with this story, you might be already asking yourself: “Is my partner a narcissist? And if so, what do I do now?”.
Unfortunately, highly sensitive souls seem to often be attracted to narcissists. It is also very hard for us to end a toxic relationship. And this is not because we are weak or easy to be manipulated, or whatever others may think about us.
The real reason is that we can see deep inside people. That means we can see the good part in anyone, no matter how deep it may be buried.
We can see through somebody’s toxic behaviors into the core of that person. We see the potential that they hold, the love-worthiness that they represent, and the soul that's inside of them. We can see it and we can love it - to a point that it becomes really toxic for us.
Our sensitive superpower can work against us in these situations, because it makes it hard to differentiate between the reality that we live in and this other potential reality we can feel. This makes it easy for them to manipulate us and more than that, we might start gaslighting ourselves, too.
Of course, if your relationship isn’t working or if you feel there is something wrong, it doesn't necessarily mean that your partner is a narcissist. A narcissistic personality disorder is a diagnosis that should be given by a specialist.
However, even if our partner isn't a textbook narcissist, they can show toxic narcissist traits that are just as harmful for the relationship. In fact, all of us demonstrate toxic narcissism to some degree or another in different types of situations.
So, before we start armchair diagnosing anyone, there are some important patterns to identify, both in our partner AND in us (this can really help us become a better version of ourselves) ...
In this week’s episode, Lola dives into what narcissism is, why empaths are attracted to narcissists, and what “love bombing” is and how it can lead to a toxic relationship. Also, she reveals five signs that your partner might be a narcissist and what we need to do to get out of a toxic relationship.
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