Look, the title ain’t lying, and you’d have no way of proving it if it were. One of us has seen every bird, full stop. We’re the new high score on the birdwatcher leaderboard, and who’s gonna argue against that? The birds? Probably not the birds.

Suggested talking points: Spookily, Raccoon Trash Strats (feat. John Hodgman), Dickbilled Priebus, Freakied and Fridayed, Ammunition for the Soda Wars