Buford Winston Loves His Ass

Released Friday, 31st July 2020
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Welcome to Mysteries to Die For.
I am TG Wolff and am here with Jack, my piano player and producer. This is a podcast where we combine storytelling with original music to put you at the heart of mystery, murder, and mayhem. Some episodes will be my own stories, others will be classics that helped shape the mystery genre we know today. These are arrangements, which means instead of word-for-word readings, you get a performance meant to be heard. Jack and I perform these live, front to back, no breaks, no fakes, no retakes (unless it's really bad)
This is Season 1. The first half of the season comes from my book Widow’s Run, which was published in 2019 by Down & Out Books. If you love clever, sharp-edged mysteries and thrillers, check out Down & Out on the web. www.downandoutbooks.com
Today’s episode builds from the previous. You have to listen in order for the story to make sense. Start with the episode called “What a Lovely Corpse you Have” and catch up to us from there. We’ll be here for you. We’ve listed a cast of characters in the show notes to help keep track of the players.
To recap, our hero, Diamond, has faked her death, burying the mainstream, suburban professional she was to resurrect her CIA cover. Why? She needs to do what the police won’t, investigate her husband’s death. In the last episode, Diamond digs deeper into the relationship between her husband and Agriculture Lobbist Buford Winston. As she plans her approach to the Blow Hard Buford, Ian Black breaks his habits, a sure sign of trouble. Diamond and Andrew Dixon search Black’s warehouse of a home, discovering his upholstery desecrated, a naked dead woman, and a beaten, nearly-frozen Ian Black.
Today’s story is about things not being as they seem. This is Episode 11: Buford Winston Loves his Ass
Characters with episode of introduction
Diamond, our hero. Recently widowed. Recently (fake) killed herself. On a mission. (E1)
Gavriil Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in quinoa. Diamond’s husband. Died May 14, 2018. The reason for Diamond. (E1)
Ian Black. Average, ordinary, white man. Extraordinary purveyor of anything, anywhere, anytime. (E1)
Sam Irish. British agent. Formerly worked with Diamond. Pissed she died without him. (E1)
Andrew Dixon. Seventeen-year-old genius delinquent currently surfing Diamond’s couch (E4)

Enrique Torres. CIA agent who trained and worked with Diamond. Can’t believe a candle took her out. (E1)
Alexei Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in the body. Diamond’s brother-in-law. (E2)
Dr. Quili Liu. Gavriil Rubchinsky’s successor, a Chinese-born, nerd-scientist who also loves quinoa. (E2)
Buford Winston. Blow hard leader of the super-lobby Ag Now! who is funding the quinoa research. (E2)
Montgomery Rand. Minor league con man. Reported genius who doesn’t have the brains to use what God gave him. (E3)
Celina Matta. Insurance investor. Diamond’s alias in Italy (E5)
Carlo Giancarlo. Diamond’s Italian translator and partner in crime. (E5)
Francisco Thelan. Another nerd-scientist specializing in food. Also dead. Died same night as Gavriil. (E5)
Ilsa Duma-whatever. Russian-born Italian bookseller. Totally did not seduce Gavriil. (E6)
Mama Franzetti. A good woman with a piece of shit for a grandson. (E7)
Hugo Franzetti. The piece of shit that ran Gavriil over, but he’s dead, too, so there’s that. (E7)
Valentina Rossifiori. A single mother and friend of Hugo Franzetti who is keeping him “alive” to stop all the judging. (E8)
Jessica Fielding. Magazine reporter. Another Diamond alias (E9)
Buttercup. Buford Winston’s prized ass. (E11)
Mysteries to Die For is sponsored by Down & Out Books. The featured new release this week is TOGETHER THEY WERE CRIMSON by Ryan Sayles
She is unstoppable. She murders the elderly, seeing it as compassion against their suffering. The police can’t curb her ritualized, angel of mercy rampage and as every new victim falls, the distance between the police and her increases. Then the killer is caught in the act by the young, pregnant wife of Norm Braden. There is no option but to murder her too. As a widowed Norm struggles to return to his family, to his new normal, he is joined in grief by his wife’s twin sister. But, the killer is also having a difficult time recovering from the startling break in her ritual. Killing Norm’s wife has affected everything.
So, one day she visits Norm, offering an olive branch. Maybe they can help each other move past it all. Their co-dependent, cat-and-mouse game begins. Revenge is within Norm’s grasp, but his religious beliefs force him to see the killer’s humanity despite her horrific shortfalls. The killer, a strange and exotic woman with a singular fixation on Norm, thinks she has found more than just the solution to her problems. She’s found her completion, her other half—if only she can replace the memory of his dead wife. If she can do that, she can continue murdering.
Together They were Crimson is now available through Down & Out’s website, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, indiebound, and all your favorite independent booksellers.
That’s it for this episode of Mysteries To Die For. In two weeks, we’ll pick up the story with the next chapter That’s SWAT I Call Awesome.
If you enjoyed our twist on storytelling, help spread the word by telling a friend or leaving a review. For less than the cost a carton of carrots for Buttercup, you can join our body bag brigade to help support our show. You’ll receive bonus content as our thanks.
Mysteries to Die For was written by TG Wolff. Music and production are by Jack Wolff. Episode art is by Shannon Leahy. Widow’s Run was written by TG Wolff, published by Down & Out Books.

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35m 54s
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