Hey flyboys: we heard there’s a war on! Last thing me and the boys heard there’s a hulking mass in the sky, come from afar, promising doom and destruction from above – and all we can do is wait. That’s right, I was really talking about Pearl Harbour (2001) but flipped it at the very end there! Did you see? Anyway, me and the boys are gonna go smooch some dames and get something hypodermic jabbed into our butt-meat, hopefully with some sort of military-grade narcotic because even though we’re not at war we really have a battle of our own and that is finding one measly good thing in a mere three hours of constant spinning telephoto lens. Up up and away!

Featuring: cartoon stutter II: the cringing, Baffneckinsale, Japan vs. Kate, tricks for Baldwin and startling historical accuracy.