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This bonus episode for Patreon supporters and Spotify/Anchor subscribers is about a saint whose holy day is also a secular holiday, a day in which couples around the world buy each other flowers, chocolates, and other tokens of love. Facebook statistics suggest something else is brewing beneath the romantic dinners, something darker. The two weeks immediately before and after the feast day record the highest changes in relationship status from DATING to SINGLE. The irony perhaps makes sense because the original hagiography of this Ancient Roman martyr has nothing to do with romantic love. This is the story of Saint Valentine the Ersatz Patron of Love.