Tom Witty
School of SchlockEpisodes
Episodes of School of Schlock
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We all know from horror media that studying something too closely and too obsessively can kill you. So when a young student sets out to New England for firsthand sources on witchcraft, it probably isn't going to go well! Join Tom and Ryan as th
Sherlock Holmes is the most-represented literary character in media, so it was elementary that one day we would watch a film with the deductive detective. This time Holmes has to unravel an assassination that he suspects was orchestrated by his
It's time for another family-friendly 90s martial arts movie, but this one is really something special. Three kids are gifted the power of the Dragon and have to fight their way through an impressively bad piece of cinema! Join Tom and Ryan as
It's time for a 1970s sci-fi feature that tackles racism, bodily autonomy, and the best way to crash 10+ police cars. A doctor tries to save his own life by having his head attached to another man's body. What could go wrong? Join Tom and Ryan
We're reviewing a kids' movie that is making us rethink our entire childhoods! Evil dinosaurs, giant ships, siblings that become one person, what isn't there to love? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk children's media, Mass Effect, dinosaur specie
Some movies seek to answer timeless questions, such as "Can an invincible knight find true love during the Crusades?" If you think the answer is yes, then give a listen to Tom and Ryan as they review an Italian fantasy romance and discuss such
2023 somehow felt like it lasted 2 weeks and 10 years at the same time. But how did the movies we watched affect this time paradox? Which movie moment felt like it took forever? Which character would we most like to erase from history? And wher
Happy Holidays! It's time for another Christmas-themed crowd-pleaser from the Hallmark Channel. And this time the film is brand new for this year! Can a Christmas-loving community survive some new neighbors who are hyper-competitive about the m
There's an absolute Earthsaster happening as the entire world gets sucked through a wormhole! Can this problem be solved, or are we headed for an Earthpocalypse? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about modern film effects, comparisons to Lost and
There's an war going on right under our feet, and nobody but the top brass know about it! Why did we waste all our time going to space when we should have gone...beneath the Earth? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about racist depictions, running
If you're still in the mood for Spooky Season, we have yet another Peter Cushing British horror film to keep the creeps coming. This time Cushing and Christopher Lee are dueling over a skeleton that seems intent on coming back to life! Join Tom
A light night of recording means we're feeling a little rambly and a little punchy as we talk about a comedy with an all-star cast and way too few laughs. Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about dry humor, punching down, and, of course, The Banana
A sleepy town with an even sleepier bog is rocked by a series of murders. Can a local trio of a doctor, a sheriff, and a pathologist find out what's causing these deaths? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about dog vs monster sounds, poorly ended
There's a secret cabal with a dastardly plot inside the US government, and only Charlie Sheen can bring them to light. But will a toy helicopter foil his plans? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk bad scripts, under-utilizing Linda Hamilton, and poo
A wicked woman is visiting from another planet, and she has destruction on her mind. But is this film about a Devil Girl actually a kitschy sci-fi romp, or is it something else entirely? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk one-room plays, the Twilig
They say the greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing people that he doesn't exist. We argue think his greatest trick is actually gargoyles! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about Milton, biker gangs, and the importance of preserving a
Murder! A shipping magnate is killed in cold blood, and only one detective can solve the crime. Step aside, Sherlock Holmes, because James Lee Wong is on the case! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about problematic portrayals, the science of infr
Peter Cushing is back for more monster-horror adventures! This time a series of mysterious murders are being investigated in period England and Cushing has to figure out what's going on...wait, wasn't that the plot of the last Cushing movie we
Summer's here and the time is right to be watching horse movies! For all you animal-lovers out there, we have a real treat with a film about a city girl going to the country to find meaning (and love along the way)! Join Tom and Ryan as they ta
It's been a while since we had a true-blue kung fu martial arts movie, so we figured it was time to get our fists flying and our feet kicking with a mystical early 80's fighting film from Taiwan. Can Shaolin Fox unravel the mystery of the Purpl
The year is 1943 and America is in the midst of the Second World War. Able-bodied people are needed for the military, but how do you convince people to join outside of the draft? Enter patriotic war movies like this one, about a man on the run
A former DEA agent confronts the evil cabal who kidnapped his brother. The trailer calls this film "part RoboCop, part Terminator," but...is it? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about island tourism, lazy action sequences, and changing your pants
It's time to revisit one of our favorite horror B-movie actors; that's right, it's Peter Cushing time! We're watching as he tries to solve a series of grisly murders that all seem to point to...a werewolf! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about c
It's not often that we come across a movie that makes us reflect on the big questions: what is art? What qualifies as a movie? Why the hell did we watch this? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk self-aggrandizing actors, dream logic editing, katana-
There's a rogue agent looking to unleash a wave of terror on the world, and only a proto-Charlie's Angels squad of female agents can stop him! Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss super-imposed explosions, surprise assassinations, and undermined f
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