"For a short person, you have long sentences."

Start your holiday season with our MILDLY INAPPROPRIATE HOLIDAY SPECIAL where we discuss a film that is at best tangentially related to either the holiday season or the usual format for the show.

This year, we're diving into the 1980 murder mystery spoof THE PRIVATE EYES starring comedy legends TIM CONWAY ("The Carol Burnett Show". "Dorf on Golf" and DON KNOTTS ("The Andy Griffith Show", "Three's Company", "The Ghost & Mr. Chicken")

In THE PRIVATE EYES, two thoroughly inept detectives visit a creepy old British mansion in order to solve the murders of the Lord and Lady of the house only to find the killer isn't done yet. Can Winship and Tart find the killer before all the suspects end up dead too?

You can expect:

• Secret passages
• Shady staff members
• Corny jokes
• Humor that really didn't age well
• Squeaky mammary glands
• Dead pigeons
• Gay subtext I had to hammer in
• Wookalar attacks

Not only will I be donning my gay apparel, but I'm also reuniting my gayest guest hosts,DOUG SHAPIRO andTRAE DEAN!

THE PRIVATE EYES was directed by LANG ELLIOTT and stars DON KNOTTS, TIM CONWAY, GRACE ZABRISKIE, TRISHA NOBLE and BERNARD FOX.

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