Delanie Fischer chats with licensed psychotherapist Terri Cole about high-functioning codependency (HFC) and how to set healthy boundaries to prevent burn out, resentment, and feeling underappreciated. They explore signs like auto advice-giving, auto-accommodating, and keeping the peace at all costs, and uncover why many try to control others unknowingly. Terri shares actionable tools for shifting these over-functioning behaviors to let go of what’s not your responsibility—freeing up your time and energy while empowering those around you.

Discussed in this episode: 

Busting The Biggest Codependency Myth

Hyper-Independence and Anticipatory Planning

Auto Advice-Giving and The Auto-Yes

Taking Your Resentment Inventory

Let Them Be The Hero of Their Story

Escaping the Cult of Nice

5 Scripts for Setting New Boundaries

How To Identify a Transference

Primary vs. Secondary Gain

8 Questions to Ask Before You Fix or Rescue

---

If Self-Helpless has supported you, a quick 5-star rating or review (if you haven’t already) means so much! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠

Free goodies including The Quote Buffet and The Watch & Read List: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠

Ad-free episodes now available on ⁠Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠

Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠

----

Episodes related to this topic:

What If You Did The Opposite Action Today? with Dr. Luana Marquez: ⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/273fa5be/self-helpless-snack-what-if-you-did-the-opposite-action-today-with-dr-luana-marquez⁠

7 Shocking Truths About Codependency And Addiction with Heidi Rain: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24c74079/7-shocking-truths-about-codependency-and-addiction-with-heidi-rain

The Real Reason Women Don't Trust Themselves With Money (And How They Actually Spend It): ⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/20bc245f/self-helpless-snack-the-real-reason-women-dont-trust-themselves-with-money-and-how-they-actually-spend-it⁠

Exposing False Choices, Narratives, and Pulling Wisdom From Wounds with Dr. Thema Bryant: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/26cdb69d/exposing-false-choices-narratives-and-pulling-wisdom-from-wounds-with-dr-thema-bryant Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices