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This is the Head Gun podcast. A.

0:05

It's Ryan Holiday host of the Daily Still

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Podcast. When I bought my first house in

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two thousand and thirteen, part of the way

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I paid for it was we would rent

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B and B.com/host. Oh.

1:16

Will that will do a damn? what? But

1:19

why is that that? Like a Hollywood New

1:21

Fad? Hollywood. I hear that gotta play

1:23

now and it just oh. Shoot is

1:25

is your first trip. he could he

1:27

get a I okay. Because

1:30

you've always. So. I'm going to

1:32

turn this on silent. You've. Always insisted

1:35

on. Like. Wagon

1:37

A Frontline by wagon. Yeah,

1:39

let's just cut my family. What?

1:42

What is? What's I don't know.

1:44

They make like it's oh it's

1:46

a bull promotional thing. Well.

1:49

And how's that business going? It

1:51

isn't really bad, so are you

1:53

leave Halo? Abandon.

1:55

it all started taking lanes again try

1:58

to get in the delta lounge So

2:01

you used to take planes, then

2:04

your family started making wagons or

2:06

it always made wagons? Yeah, they

2:08

started making wagons in 1995. Okay.

2:10

And is there any significance

2:12

to that year? In

2:16

1995, they basically, I don't know if you

2:18

knew this, there was a huge wood

2:21

virus. There were wood

2:23

fires? Virus. No, I didn't know

2:25

that. So

2:27

they got cheap, diseased

2:30

wood and made wagons out of it? Yeah.

2:34

Okay. And is that the reason why the

2:36

business didn't do so well? Is that the

2:38

wagons fell apart? No, no, the

2:40

business did very well. And

2:43

then basically what

2:45

happened is my

2:48

mother got essentially pretty

2:50

power hungry and started making some pretty

2:54

bad food. Are

2:57

you free to give any

2:59

examples? Basically,

3:02

she just stopped. She

3:04

just kind of cut the budget for wheels. Oh,

3:06

yeah, that'll do it. That's probably one

3:10

of the top five most important parts of

3:12

a wagon. Well, you couldn't really say

3:14

that to her at the time. She's just two. You

3:16

tried. How do you say? Of course. We had

3:18

a lot of sit downs and she just wouldn't listen to us.

3:21

And where would the money go? In

3:24

her pocket. Man,

3:28

what kind of pockets did she have? Oh,

3:30

she had little ones. She wore

3:33

little female jeans. So there's little

3:35

pockets. So I'm sorry,

3:37

what's the difference between a female jean and a male

3:39

jean? Female jeans, usually

3:41

jeans made. At

3:44

the time, women's jeans for pockets

3:48

could barely kind of get

3:50

the first... To tip your finger. Yeah. Yeah,

3:52

to protect your fingernails. A new... Yeah, in

3:55

case you got into... You

3:58

don't want to chip a nail. So you put

4:00

it in. Yeah. And

4:03

so the money that you

4:05

would save from getting, skimping

4:08

on the safety and quality of the

4:10

wheels would go

4:12

into, literally go into her little pockets.

4:15

Well, kind

4:17

of, and this is

4:19

pre-Bitcoins, so it's physical

4:21

money. Yeah. It was, I

4:23

mean, it really tore the family apart. But

4:28

the hope is that there are still people

4:30

who enjoy Firestone

4:33

Wagon. Mm-hmm. And

4:35

kind of- It sounds like there are less and less

4:37

of them as the days go on. Yeah. I

4:40

mean, some of them are well-preserved, but

4:43

it's- And have you noticed

4:47

the EV craze eating into

4:49

your wagon business? Well, the

4:51

wagon is the original EV. Sure.

4:54

You would charge it up with a battery, and

4:58

sometimes it would have to charge overnight. And

5:01

then- Yeah, and- Or you would

5:03

charge the wagon or the horse? You would charge the horse. You

5:05

would plug your horse into the charger

5:08

that was provided to you by

5:11

Firestone Wagons. And then

5:13

the horse- And then the wagon gets a D battery.

5:16

And the- Oh, so they both- The

5:18

wagon doesn't get charged, you just have to keep getting new

5:20

D batteries. And what are the battery- You

5:23

know, D batteries. I do know

5:25

D batteries, yeah. I'd say

5:27

my third favorite battery of

5:31

the batteries? First, number

5:34

one is double A? Double A, for

5:36

sure, yeah. You know me. Double A, watch

5:39

battery, D battery. Oh. Did

5:42

they make A's? Regular

5:46

single A's? Uh-huh. No,

5:48

it's illegal. Yeah, that was a trade thing with Canada,

5:50

I believe. Oh. Yeah.

5:53

Gosh. Mm.

5:57

You don't have any milk in there? Um, well,

5:59

I asked them to- from

8:01

you you wish they were down the street I

8:04

just don't understand what they've done here well

8:06

you could move yourself closer

8:08

to the airport should you

8:10

wish I know I talked to a guy yesterday

8:12

oh yeah you got a guy he lives

8:15

15 minutes from LaGuardia and

8:18

I said can you walk there and he he

8:22

couldn't he said that's not possible

8:25

15 minutes away

8:27

he can't walk there well I don't

8:30

think that's I mean maybe you're pushing

8:32

for a wagon sale but I that's

8:34

a problem you have 15

8:36

minutes away from the airport you can't walk there well

8:38

I think 15 minutes

8:41

of the 15 minutes is

8:43

spent like in the traffic

8:45

queue getting so you know

8:47

so you walk well but then there's no

8:49

sidewalks it's not made for they need your

8:52

point they need sidewalks for the people who

8:54

will walk for the handful of people

8:56

that live 15 minutes away from

8:59

but when he said 15 minutes away did he mean

9:01

walking or driving could have been

9:03

in LA thing we're like oh I'm only 15 minutes

9:05

away nobody's and you're like oh well

9:07

nobody in New York would ever say that that's

9:10

true that's true you've learned a lot

9:12

I live I live 15

9:15

minutes away away from every restaurant in

9:18

10 including Staten

9:20

Island can you walk I

9:23

guess if the water is frozen over the Hudson Hudson

9:26

Bay's frozen over yeah

9:28

but I can't every restaurant

9:30

15 minutes away last

9:32

night so hungry

9:34

and I could not and I

9:36

didn't have time to get to go to a

9:38

restaurant 15 minutes away I made

9:41

a pizza at home that

9:44

seems like it would take more time it just

9:47

seemed like that's what made sense got it

9:49

they had the oven you were so hungry you

9:51

weren't thinking straight the oven they said the

9:53

oven can you believe how high this they

9:56

said the only traction they said the oven needs to

9:58

be 450 degrees Yeah.

10:01

That's practically cleaning the

10:04

oven. Two birds, one

10:06

stone. You can make a pizza and clean your oven

10:08

at the same time. This was a... I

10:11

found out... Was it a Breville? Was it

10:13

like a mini toaster oven thing? No,

10:15

this was an oven on the ground. On

10:19

the ground? Oh, you gotta elevate those things or

10:21

you're gonna fuck up your floor. I

10:25

will have to talk to my landlord. I like how...

10:28

I've never heard the distinction of like, oh, I

10:31

have two ovens. I have a ground oven and

10:34

I have a toaster oven. I

10:36

have an oven that's just for the ground. It's

10:39

on the ground. The oven is on the ground?

10:41

Yeah. We don't... Do you

10:43

have an oven on the ground? I never thought of

10:45

it that way. I have an oven, stove, oven thing.

10:47

Of course you do. It is elevated

10:49

for sure and it is

10:51

not suspended by wires so I suppose it's

10:55

a ground oven. Yeah. You know, they

10:57

got this thing at Sharper Image right

10:59

now. Mm-hmm. That

11:01

is a floating lamp and

11:04

I can't see... What? The

11:07

lamp... That floats. I

11:10

can't believe that this is where we're at.

11:13

I know. Can you... They

11:15

can't find a cure for the common

11:18

cold. They can send

11:20

a man to Mars in the

11:22

movies but they can't... They

11:27

have a floating lamp. I

11:29

just couldn't believe my eye. Do

11:33

you think it's trickery, sorcery, devilish? The

11:36

picture showed the person's ears. Oh, the picture.

11:38

You didn't even see the... Oh,

11:41

you're... Wait. So this lamp

11:43

isn't just floating. It's

11:46

not three-dimensional. It's

11:49

a... You can stick your hand through it. It's

11:52

not a... Oh no, it's three-dimensional.

11:54

I don't understand. The picture is

11:56

a person putting their hand through the... What?

12:00

A lamp is an orb. Okay.

12:03

A glowing orb. Sure. That

12:07

makes sense. That tracks so far. How?

12:11

Not connected to a wire. So

12:15

is it charged? I'm not

12:17

sure. Now you're the

12:19

one with who charge electrically charges

12:21

horses and, uh, wagons. So

12:28

how do you not? So far beyond what

12:30

I know. This

12:33

lamp is suspended in this. Oh,

12:35

I keep forgetting you're from, uh, St. Louis,

12:38

right? Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah, that

12:40

explains a lot. Have

12:44

you been to St. Louis? Yeah.

12:46

Okay. Yeah. There's not a, it

12:49

makes sense that you wouldn't understand the concept of, I

12:51

get it. I get it. I've been to St. Louis

12:54

a number of times and. You know, they made the arch

12:56

and know if it would fit at the top. They

12:59

build up both sides. They didn't know a lot of people didn't

13:01

think it was going to meet at the top. They

13:03

didn't, uh, Oh, I thought you meant that they didn't know

13:05

if it would be high enough to,

13:07

uh, it would be too high for the sky.

13:12

And that too, it's just, they didn't know they can't build

13:14

in the above. Both sides. A lot of people said not

13:17

to me. A race between the two sides.

13:19

It's possible. And then, uh, so just

13:22

good fortune happens. It's a good chance it met in the middle

13:24

in a perfect way. That's, that's, you know,

13:26

some people call it luck. Some people

13:28

call it planning. But then basically a lot

13:30

of people were worried about that. And that's, you know, that's why

13:32

it's called show me state. Show

13:34

me it meets at the top. Right. What,

13:37

why is it called the show me state? Show

13:40

me it meets at the top. Oh, okay. It goes

13:42

back to the art. It's all about the

13:45

art. Um, yeah. Show me seems, uh,

13:47

I like it in the sense that it's, uh,

13:49

it's, and I have

13:52

mixed about it cause it's very, uh,

13:54

solipsistic. The idea that something

13:56

can exist or wouldn't exist or doesn't

13:58

exist. unless I

14:01

see it firsthand. Yeah, it's interesting

14:03

now you say that Missouri is

14:06

such a God-fearing state. They

14:10

fear God. And

14:12

yet it's a show-me state. Yeah. So

14:14

they're constantly saying to God, show

14:17

me what a flood looks like. Show

14:19

me what one of the last

14:21

states in the Union ratified

14:24

anti-slavery. Show

14:26

me. Show me what

14:29

systemic intrinsic racism is. Show it to

14:32

me. Show me. Show me.

14:35

Show me the massive

14:37

disparity between wealth. Show

14:40

me. Show it to me. What does

14:42

it look like? Show me. What would it

14:44

be like to live amongst that? You

14:46

know, it's based there? In

14:49

Missouri or St. Louis? In St. Louis. What?

14:53

What's that company that does all the GMO? Not

14:57

Monsanto? Monsanto. Monsanto.

15:00

Oh, okay. Mm-hmm.

15:04

So some of that has

15:06

filtered into the groundwater and again, an

15:08

explanation for a lot. You

15:10

know, if you've been to the St. Louis

15:12

Airport, which I'm sure you have. Oh,

15:15

yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's an interesting group of

15:17

folks. Sure. They got an ice cream machine.

15:20

They have an ice cream machine? Yeah. All right.

15:23

So, and that's just people getting their wagons

15:25

and head down, family trip to the ice

15:28

cream machine at the St. Louis Airport. It's amazing.

15:31

Get the wagon, everybody. It is amazing. It's

15:33

got this, it uses vacuum technology. What?

15:37

To vacuum up a cup of

15:39

ice cream. I

15:42

don't understand. Spoons are on the side. You're

15:47

blowing my mind here. You

15:50

don't have that at LaGuardia. They

15:52

don't, yeah. Do

15:55

they have Dippin' Dots or the frozen ice

15:57

cream of the future that the astronauts took

15:59

aboard with them? Monday challenger.

16:02

Know they never got to enjoy it obviously, but

16:04

new. That's you. Know this, it's test you

16:06

bring it up so early. the yeah let's

16:08

say this is. This is

16:10

frozen custard. Oh, that's

16:12

a Saint Louis thing we're getting. They make

16:15

do with eggs. I

16:17

think custard is generally made with eggs

16:19

court added benefit the distinction between ice

16:21

cream biggest employers as I understand. Now

16:24

here's a real. Are

16:27

True Life. Experience I

16:29

had St. Louis. Ah, I

16:33

see. When. I was there

16:35

last I played ah lovely feet are

16:37

cold. The Selden cheer me up and

16:40

down. Have you play their. I'm

16:42

not really played it Sheldon level. You.

16:45

Thank you. You. Get them.

16:47

They do say he'll get there. In

16:51

days it's a lovely. It's weird

16:53

because they have no backstage like

16:55

the he. literally your back. of

16:58

the backstage is kind of like this. Is

17:02

where they have their offices in, there's worse

17:04

and couches and stuff. And then to enter

17:06

the stage you literally just opened the door.

17:09

It's. Bizarre. It's like a movie think I've

17:11

seen her. Set is very strange feeling you open

17:13

the door you're on state. Is

17:15

no in between hits area. Anyway,

17:20

I'm. So

17:22

and I told the story on. Stage.

17:25

Ah, but. I

17:28

had my first and only to this

17:30

point loose meat sandwich and St. Louis

17:32

and I had heard. The. Term.

17:34

I don't know where. I don't know if it was

17:37

like I'm one of those. You. Know

17:39

diners, diamonds and drives

17:42

well things panda. I

17:44

don't know who's era read in some In

17:47

Flight magazine? I don't know, but I've heard

17:49

of a loose meat sandwich sooner. What it

17:51

is. Am. I

17:53

was walking down the of bored out of my

17:55

school cause I'm at St Louis and. ah

17:58

walking on the street And

18:00

then I saw a little

18:03

chalkboard sign advertising a loose meat

18:05

sandwich. Great. Check this

18:08

out. A new place, very small, brand new

18:10

on a side street. I

18:12

went in, I ordered the loose

18:14

meat sandwich and a water and

18:17

I took a

18:19

seat at the little counter

18:23

there facing the window. A

18:25

couple minutes later, I was the only person in there. A

18:28

couple minutes later, the very nice lady brought over one

18:31

of those little kind

18:34

of ubiquitous plastic kind

18:36

of cheeseburger type boat tray

18:39

things with a little wax paper

18:42

and what looked like

18:45

a small hamburger that was wrapped

18:47

up and then a fork.

18:51

And I said, oh,

18:53

okay, what's the fork for? And

18:56

she said to get all the meat that falls

18:58

off. And

19:00

I was like, oh, okay. And I opened up

19:02

the sandwich. And as I opened

19:04

it, a bunch of meat fell out and

19:07

then started to eat it

19:09

and it was tasty. And

19:12

then every bite, more and more meat would

19:15

fall. So I'd say roughly somewhere between a

19:18

third and half of the sandwich was in

19:21

the basket that I had to use a fork for.

19:26

And I told the lady, I was like,

19:28

you know, there's a way for this not to

19:30

happen is what you would do is you take

19:32

the same exact meat that you used and you would just

19:34

kind of press it

19:36

together lightly and then grill

19:39

that up and

19:41

then this won't happen. And

19:45

then she said, well, then it wouldn't be a loose

19:48

meat sandwich. And I was like, you're

19:50

right. You're right. It

19:52

would not be a loose meat. It would be a singular

19:55

patty. You're

19:57

trying to invent the hamburger. I'm

20:00

just pointing her down the direction

20:02

of... I would imagine

20:05

that the loose

20:07

meat sandwich pre-listed the...

20:09

Floppy Joe? Floppy Joe?

20:11

It's like a floppy Joe without sauce. Yeah.

20:14

If there was no sauce, the meat is... Dry? It's

20:17

dry, yeah. Does it come with mayonnaise? You

20:20

could ask for it, sure. It comes

20:22

dry meat between bread. I

20:25

mean, it's definitely tasty, but

20:27

it's the same tastiness as a hamburger

20:30

without... I guess if you got a... The

20:34

middle quarter of a hamburger would

20:36

be a little... A different

20:38

temperature than the... These

20:40

are like little kind of balls, like

20:43

teeny tiny like meatball-y type

20:45

things. Teeny tiny.

20:48

Like not as tiny as Floppy

20:50

Joe, but not as big as a hamburger. It was

20:52

just... It seems like a

20:54

very lazy, i.e. St.

20:56

Louis application to a lunch

20:59

sandwich. It

21:01

seems like maybe most of St. Louis knew not to go

21:03

in there. Oh, well, it

21:06

was new, as I said. It could be thriving. And

21:08

again, it was tasty, but it

21:10

was like... What

21:13

an odd concept. Now, either the loose

21:15

meat sandwich pre-dated the hamburger and

21:17

then somebody went, what are you doing? Just take

21:19

the meat and go like this and then they

21:21

made the hamburger and that was wildly

21:24

successful internationally. Or... The

21:28

hamburger existed and somebody said, you know what? Let's

21:31

make this more difficult and unpleasant. And

21:34

then they did that and they created

21:37

more time. Maybe they had to

21:39

kill some time. You know? You

21:41

have to wonder about a lot of this stuff. How

21:43

did the chicken fingers start? A lot of

21:45

these things. I

21:48

don't know. I don't think that's

21:50

the same thing. Chicken

21:53

finger, you just press

21:55

the meat together or just chop up some

21:58

or thinly... slice

22:00

some breasts and fry

22:02

them up. You know, my

22:04

nephew was eating chicken fingers on the ground

22:07

over Thanksgiving. My dog

22:09

comes back from a walk, just eats his whole

22:11

plate of chicken fingers. Well, that'll,

22:14

that's what he gets. Now, if you just looked

22:16

at him, just watch this happen. And

22:18

also your, who

22:21

is it? Your which one? What? Your,

22:24

what is the relation to you? Right? He's

22:26

my dog. No, no, the person.

22:29

My nephew. Your nephew. Well,

22:31

your nephew. Oh, is this Rudy,

22:34

Randy, Brian, Brandy, Brisco, Brendan?

22:37

Brendan. Brendan. Brendan.

22:40

Yeah, well, he's 28

22:43

and should know better. But you know, yeah, that's

22:45

a, that's, that's not the dog's fault. The dog

22:47

is doing what a dog does. What?

22:49

He's in the middle of a game cube. That's

22:52

on him. That's totally on him. But

22:56

that's a, that's a real St.

22:58

Louis way to eat your Thanksgiving

23:00

dinner. Sorry. That

23:02

just is. Here's another thing about

23:05

St. Louis, another anecdote. Long,

23:08

long, long, long, long time ago, I was

23:12

playing at the,

23:16

was it Catcherizing Star? Catcherizing

23:18

Star at Union Station?

23:20

Sure. Yeah. This

23:22

is going, this is like late

23:25

80s, early 90s. Union Station

23:27

was really at its hate base. It

23:29

was very pretty. It was beautiful. Like a

23:31

lot, the Midwest has a lot of those

23:33

beautiful upper middle class,

23:35

they're not like the mansions, but they're those

23:37

upper middle class, big

23:40

stone homes that are like to

23:42

store a beautiful, beautiful, Detroit

23:45

has that a lot. And then they're abandoned

23:47

because of white flight. And then they just

23:49

sort of, you could see how beautiful it

23:51

was. And then nobody took care of it. They

23:53

were scared because Black

23:55

people moved to within a two mile

23:58

radius. And then, then. Muslims.

24:02

You. Know. Later. On in the

24:04

in history and hour and

24:06

a beautiful. Homes. And.

24:11

Are. So I was playing and Union station

24:13

was eager. Tell was like a beautiful state

24:15

of the art. he a trade season at

24:18

times where you know and then they breed.

24:21

He. Was crumbling and they came in and. Made.

24:23

It all nice and sidestepped.

24:26

And they weren't. They have pledged their. Ah,

24:28

I'm late. Sides: Of

24:31

are you asking or telling him to you Earth?

24:34

Ah A make such great. Lives.

24:38

And what they gather since the A Hooters

24:40

is, it's all. Round. Union Station

24:42

area. And it does. It exists

24:44

as a train station or new Another touristy things

24:46

happen. Anyway,

24:48

they had a cat's rising star there

24:50

and though woman who. Was. Managing

24:53

who is. The. Woman who

24:55

booked me ah, I was crashing in her

24:57

place in an apartment that shared with one

24:59

of the waitresses there. And.

25:03

I'd. Driven and I drove from

25:05

Boston and yeah, I don't believe

25:08

it. You. Don't believe

25:10

that I drove from Boston. That doesn't

25:12

make any sense. You

25:14

run into a that goes bust in. No,

25:16

no St. Louis. this is not

25:19

a tourist. This was a week

25:21

at the Cats. In. St.

25:23

Louis. And. Elegant where you go

25:25

from Boston to St. Louis. Know.

25:27

Just sectors. The gig it was moves work.

25:29

Is like and twenty hour drive?

25:32

Yeah. You're driving twenty

25:34

hours to. Kids Are Rising Star

25:36

Yes! I

25:38

mean look, your generation doesn't know what been

25:40

on. The roses are a little your. Own

25:43

Douglas Foot and I can do six games

25:45

in I don't know what has said okay

25:47

and nights trying to tell Iams those be.

25:49

On the roads the I'm not saying it's a

25:51

great thing and me to definitely. You learn a

25:54

lot but it's isn't south side he has been

25:56

driving around. I can't lean drive in your once

25:58

you get their enough to drive anymore. You

26:00

sure do. You sure do. No,

26:02

I would get a ride in with, I

26:05

can't remember her name, but she's a very nice lady. Anyway,

26:10

the, the. Her

26:12

roommate, as I got in,

26:14

traveling quite a bit and I

26:17

got in and she's like, hey, are

26:19

you hungry? Do you want to order a

26:22

pizza? We've got real St. Louis pizza here.

26:25

And I know where this is going. I

26:28

love this story. Did

26:32

I tell you this story? No, but I love St. Louis

26:34

pizza. So I'm going to love this story. So

26:36

I was unfamiliar with the term. You're

26:39

in concrete. And I said, uh, you

26:42

know, St.

26:45

Louis pizza, I've never heard of that.

26:47

I mean, I know New York and Chicago

26:49

and New Haven and, but

26:51

what's St. Louis style pizza? And

26:54

she goes, oh, it has fresh

26:56

vegetables on it. And

26:59

I said,

27:02

okay, I think a lot of

27:04

different pizzas have. She's

27:06

burying the lead. There's another

27:09

secret coming. Uh,

27:11

why she got the pizza and it looked

27:13

like standard pizza with stuff

27:15

on it. There was nothing that

27:17

was distinctive that

27:20

I remember from the pizza that she ordered. What is it,

27:22

Joe? Do you like it? I

27:25

mean, I don't remember. I didn't

27:27

dislike it, but I didn't go,

27:29

oh my God, I'm never going to

27:31

have another pizza style again. That's how

27:34

I feel. It's really delicious. It's

27:36

a square. They cut it in squares. Oh,

27:39

like tavern style. Sure. I

27:42

think they call that tavern style. I call St. Louis style.

27:44

It's cut in squares. Thin

27:46

crust. Yep. Sweet

27:49

sauce. That

27:51

I don't remember. I probably would remember that. It was

27:53

very standard. Tip of the tongue. Tip

27:56

of the tongue. Sweet. That's where

27:58

you're supposed to eat it. I just... on the

28:00

tip of the tongue. Favorite at the top of the

28:02

tip of the tongue. Oh goodness. Um. Yeah

28:05

I don't know. Provel cheese. What?

28:08

Provel cheese. See this

28:10

was not the pizza I got. What you're describing

28:12

to me is quite

28:14

different than. Provel? Oh

28:17

it definitely didn't. It was just a regular

28:19

like. American, mozzarella, Swiss,

28:22

provolone combined into a super cheese

28:24

that does not need to be

28:26

refrigerated. Oh. Amazing.

28:28

I like the idea of that. That sounds good. I

28:30

got a. Well next time in St.

28:32

Louis I'm going to ditch the loose meat sandwich and get a

28:35

real St. Louis style pizza. I don't know what he

28:37

did. Because it's not. What I had was not what

28:40

you're describing. I used to work at a pizza

28:42

place that was a New York style pizza. Yeah.

28:45

In St. Louis. It was pizza with an attitude. Was

28:48

that how they advertise it? Mm hmm.

28:51

That sounds like every hack, comedy.

28:53

Mm hmm. Hey

28:55

I went to a New York style or I guess

28:57

it would have a different accent. I

28:59

went to New York style pizza restaurant the

29:01

other day. They went here's your fucking pizza.

29:04

Yeah well. It sounds like a old. Well

29:07

this was a business. Yeah yeah.

29:09

Now businesses are based on hacky

29:11

jokes and puns. Lots of them

29:13

are. Well this place we

29:15

were really rude. What

29:18

was it called? I think it's still

29:20

in business. Called

29:22

Raconelis. Oh I thought you were.

29:24

I thought you the name of the business was I

29:27

think they're still in business. That'd

29:29

be a good name for a business. Yeah. I

29:31

think they're still in business. Pizza? Yeah

29:34

it could be pretty good. This place was really

29:36

good though. It was really good pizza. Yeah. But

29:39

we sometimes get a little saucy with people you know

29:41

what I mean? Sure sure. A little attitude.

29:43

New York attitude. But that's the place

29:45

I learned the difference between the Stromboli and

29:47

the Calzone. Oh yeah. Oh

29:50

there's a big difference. You can't. Yeah

29:52

yeah. Calzone. It's all rolled

29:54

up with the stuff and then the other one is stuffed

29:56

inside. Much different. Yeah.

30:01

Usually you don't find ricotta in, um, in

30:04

a stromboli, but you will in a

30:06

calzone. Of course. Yeah. No. Well, you

30:08

know, I know. Now,

30:11

Joe, you like myself are

30:13

a transplant to New York City. Um,

30:16

how do you find the typical

30:19

New Yorker? Fast.

30:24

Fast? In a hurry. Okay.

30:28

Drinking a coffee. Drinking their

30:30

coffee. Checking their phone. Checking their

30:33

phones. And

30:35

you know, wearing a Yankees hat. And

30:37

wearing a Yankees hat. Wow. Excuse

30:41

me. Cause I, you said that

30:44

there, uh, you're, you were talking

30:46

about the New York attitude pizza

30:48

place, and I find New

30:51

Yorkers to be very, uh, they

30:55

can certainly be brusque, but they're very helpful.

30:57

I would say of all

30:59

the places I've lived, the most community minded

31:03

and the, the most helpful

31:05

and kind of friendly in that atmosphere

31:09

and not atmosphere, but, uh,

31:12

context. Oh, it's him. It says, can

31:14

you help me get the Herald square? Or,

31:17

or even if you don't ask people,

31:19

uh, I think a lot of New

31:21

Yorkers will take it

31:23

upon themselves to help you out to, uh,

31:25

I find them to be very, uh, again,

31:28

they can be very brusque, but

31:31

for the most part, very helpful and

31:34

friendly in that way. And very, very, very,

31:36

very community minded

31:39

where you know, your neighbors, uh,

31:41

on any street I've ever lived, I've lived in a.

31:44

By name, you know, is that by name? Yeah.

31:47

You know, people at the bodega, you know,

31:49

people down the street. I

31:52

know everybody by face. Sure.

31:54

Well, that's one way to do it. Okay. But

31:56

I don't really know everybody's name. So when

31:59

you pass people by that. that you know, do you

32:01

go, hey, what's up, long hair, too fat? Yeah.

32:10

What's up, Grandma or Grandpa? Can't

32:13

really tell. Is that what you do? Yeah, pretty much. How

32:16

do they greet you in return? They

32:19

say, hi, hi, little one. Oh,

32:22

so it's, you're not the only person who does the

32:24

face thing. You

32:27

know, someone- Everybody in your neighborhood. Oh, it's like that place

32:29

in St. Albans, Maine, where

32:31

all the people at Tourette's live. Someone

32:34

told me yesterday I had Renaissance hair. That

32:39

can, I love that because

32:41

that's either a compliment or a disc, and

32:43

I can't tell. They tried to say Renaissance

32:45

hair looks like- Renaissance

32:47

hair. Yeah, but listen, there's

32:49

lots of people calling each other, but I know

32:51

a lot of people in the neighborhood by face,

32:53

and I know a lot of their dog's names.

32:56

Oh, okay. Because I've got a dog. All right.

32:59

Right? So I know my dog's name, and then I know

33:01

when they talk to their dogs. Mm-hmm. So,

33:03

you know, I know Giuseppe, I know

33:05

Zeus. I know a

33:07

lot of these people. You know, Duncan, I know

33:10

a lot of these people. Those

33:12

all sounds like Park

33:14

Slope Kidnates, too. Giuseppe,

33:16

Zeus, and Duncan. They could be

33:19

in pre-K together. Well,

33:22

they kind of are in a way. But I see a

33:24

lot of the same people, but I don't

33:26

necessarily know any of

33:28

these things, except for a few. Do you live

33:30

in Brooklyn or- No. Manhattan?

33:33

Yep. Where? Upper West

33:35

Side. Ooh. Okay.

33:38

All right. Why? Well,

33:40

I do this thing that's kind of unique to me

33:42

where I say, I'll live wherever you want to

33:44

my boyfriend. And

33:46

he just kind of chooses these places, and

33:49

he chose Upper West Side. He

33:53

works kind of close to there, and he wanted to live close to work.

33:55

But he- Oh, all right. That

33:57

makes sense. Before that, he wanted to live in the West Side.

34:00

West Village. So we lived there before

34:02

that. That's quite a change. He wanted to live in

34:04

Dumbo. We lived there. Yeah, I

34:07

lived in Dumbo. You know, hard to live in

34:09

Dumbo. Have I met your boyfriend? I

34:11

bet so. Okay. What

34:13

did he do for a living? He

34:15

took over the wagon business. Oh, wow.

34:18

And pre it not

34:21

doing well or post not doing well? Post.

34:24

Okay, I see. Well, then let's hope

34:26

for the best. Yeah, cuz I keep trying to

34:28

get him to shift but he's

34:30

kind of determined. They're all manual. All

34:34

these wagons are manual transmission. Well,

34:36

we shifted when EV came along. We said we

34:38

don't want to compete. So let's go to let's

34:40

go to gas. Okay,

34:43

I think you missed my joke reference here, but

34:45

that's okay. Okay. Okay. What do

34:47

you know? What do I know? About

34:50

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36:28

Now Firestone, I'm guessing

36:32

from your name that

36:35

you can track

36:40

your family's origins to

36:42

the Neanderthals. Wow,

36:46

that's going way back. Some people were

36:48

like, my great-great-great-great

36:51

grandfather was a chief

36:53

of the Cherokee Nation and my great-great-great-grandmother came

36:56

over on the Mayflower.

36:59

But you can go all the way back

37:01

to Neanderthals with Firestone. Because our last name

37:04

came from when they invented fire. Via

37:06

Stone. Yeah. No,

37:09

that's great. Yeah, so there was, you know.

37:11

A lot of grunting. Yeah. Augug

37:13

Firestone, that was my great-grandfather. Say what? Augug

37:19

Firestone was my

37:22

great-great-grandfather. See,

37:24

that would only go back to the,

37:26

I'm guessing, late 1800s. So

37:29

your great-great-great or great?

37:31

Great-great. Great-great. So

37:34

in the 1800s, his Christian name was Augug. Yeah,

37:38

because, yeah. Okay. That's

37:40

when he... It was a family name

37:42

carried on since the Neanderthals. Wow. All

37:45

right. Yeah, that's because, you know, that's why we're all...

37:48

So how did you get Joseph? Shaped the way

37:50

we were. Where

37:52

did Joe come from? Um...

37:56

I know it's short for Joseph,

37:58

but where... a baseball

38:00

player Joseph

38:05

Jojo Jojo

38:12

Kropowitz and the traveling

38:14

all-stars no no what no

38:19

D'Amaggio no was

38:21

this it was the a

38:24

st. Louis Cardinal or Brown what

38:26

no hmm baseball players

38:28

in Diego Padre you

38:37

give up no I don't uh

38:39

San Diego Padre what

38:44

year were you born 1967 ah come

38:51

on with the Padres even around

38:53

in 67 mm-hmm I guess

38:56

so uh

39:00

hitter or pitcher hitter

39:04

second baseman well

39:08

I I guess I do give up Jojo

39:11

glass oh boy I'd never

39:13

would have gotten that one who is

39:15

Jojo glass is the best second baseman to

39:17

hit the Padres probably 66 yeah what

39:22

now this is a truly

39:29

interesting because you're from st. Louis and

39:32

the Padres must have been brand new team at

39:35

that point I would imagine expansion team so they

39:37

got the best of the best they got the worst

39:39

of the worst actually that's not how it works it'd

39:42

be nice if it worked that way but

39:45

um so Jojo

39:47

glass who I've never heard

39:49

of well you should probably get

39:52

a little bit of research done today well I

39:54

will Emma uh Google

39:59

glass Comma Jojo

40:01

you don't have to do you can do it straight forward

40:06

Re You're

40:08

gonna die and he be get his

40:10

IMDB. It's not I'm to be just

40:12

do straight whatever baseball IMDB is

40:15

It's BMD B B M B

40:17

B Okay,

40:20

so why if you're

40:22

from St. Louis which is a baseball man they

40:24

read baseball

40:28

fan base and team and

40:30

tradition. I mean They're

40:33

considered some of the best fans in

40:36

baseball. Yeah so

40:38

why a Obscure a second

40:40

baseman from San Diego not obscure. Yes Not

40:47

yet No, I tell me about

40:50

I'll let the audience be the judge

40:52

of whether he's obscure or not the

40:55

tell me why you were named after a up

40:58

and coming Down

41:01

and out second baseman for San Diego

41:03

Padres. He's doing really well that

41:05

season Okay. Yeah,

41:08

he was young for a baseball player. Okay

41:10

38 years old That's

41:14

not young for a baseball and really well that's

41:17

the end of his my

41:19

first word Was

41:22

baseball bat That's two

41:24

words compound word. I said it too fast.

41:26

I said that went bet bet bet. That's

41:29

about that. Okay So

41:32

that wasn't so my original name they didn't

41:34

they didn't name me for the first I Guess

41:37

year and a half of my life. Oh my god.

41:39

You just called me, baby Okay, then

41:42

after I've responded that though and then

41:44

after I said baseball bat, they started calling

41:46

me Joe after Joe Joe glass and

41:49

how did they become a fans

41:51

of Jojo Glass That's

41:54

what the part that is interesting because as

41:56

I was saying st. Louis is like an

41:59

amazing baseball city Right. Yeah,

42:02

so how did they come

42:04

to a second

42:07

baseman for the San Diego Padres? You

42:10

know, I think that a

42:12

lot of people consider San Diego and St. Louis

42:15

to be sister cities. Okay.

42:19

So, they're both in the National League.

42:21

So if San Diego

42:24

plays St. Louis, who do people root

42:26

for? They root for both. Both,

42:29

okay. It's really, it's an

42:31

amazing experience at the stadium. Now

42:33

what happens if they're in the

42:35

like, you know, postseason? World Series.

42:39

Well, that wouldn't happen. They're both National League teams. Of course.

42:42

Right. So it's an absurd. I

42:44

know. Oh, you're just putting it out there as a... I said

42:46

it. Sometimes you just

42:48

say things to kind of flip up

42:51

the conversation. Toto, I'm sorry, what? Flip

42:53

up. Flip it

42:55

up? Was this conversation and needing being

42:58

flipped up? The conversations are like waffles.

43:01

You got to turn them. I've

43:05

always found that conversations are

43:07

like waffles. There's little

43:10

divots in there to put some syrup in, but

43:13

not too much syrup. You

43:15

ever tried butter plain? But,

43:18

say what? Butter

43:20

plain waffles? Yeah. So

43:25

just waffle with butter.

43:28

No. It's good. It's

43:38

really good. Is

43:42

there a place around here that just sells? No,

43:44

I make them at home, but they're really good. Yeah,

43:47

you're just making waffles and not putting

43:49

syrup on them. I don't buy syrup. I

43:52

never think to buy syrup. You

43:54

like syrup? Yeah, it's okay, but I never think

43:56

to buy it. Right. I never on my

43:58

list. Right. You haven't

44:00

missed it in your... No, really.

44:02

In your cooking. No, I have to say no,

44:04

really. Yeah. Now, have you

44:06

ever been like, they must

44:08

have a farmer's market up by Upper West

44:10

Side, right? Of course. And do the starting

44:14

around, actually starting around now or last,

44:16

maybe last month, when

44:19

all the homemade maple syrup,

44:22

the sugar houses come down and start

44:24

selling maple syrup and the flavored ones,

44:26

the blueberries and the boysenberries and the

44:28

raspberries. And that never, you never thought

44:31

to get a syrup? I

44:34

don't, when I'm at the farmer's market,

44:36

I'm just, I'm trying to get,

44:38

you know, I'm trying to get through efficiently.

44:41

I'll get, you know, six to

44:44

seven apples, flowers, cheese.

44:48

How do you prepare the flowers?

44:51

I trim them. I cut them

44:53

into little pieces and then I usually

44:55

will. You

44:58

know, I used to be part of a CSA. Oh,

45:00

I didn't know that. Yeah. In Dumbo? Because

45:04

they have one in Dumbo. I know. That was

45:06

part of that one. Well, so they, one

45:08

time in the CSA, they gave us big

45:10

heads of sunflowers. Okay.

45:13

And I said, what do you do with this? Said,

45:16

how do you prepare them? Little attitude, new New

45:18

York attitude. Well, I just didn't understand why they're

45:20

giving us big heads of sunflowers. I thought that,

45:22

you know, I understand carrots. I understand that we've

45:24

gotten 10 zucchinis every week, but I want to

45:27

know what we do. Yeah.

45:29

You know what they said? No. Put it

45:32

on the grill. Put it

45:34

on the grill. Put the whole thing on

45:37

the grill. I've never heard of that or

45:39

seen that. Did you? No,

45:42

I don't have a grill, but I couldn't believe

45:44

that we're just putting our flowers on the grill.

45:47

Well, put the flower on the

45:50

grill. Yeah, that does seem odd.

45:52

Uh, but I mean, have you ever watched

45:55

the show alone? I've

45:57

heard of this show. You're familiar with it. I

45:59

keep watching. Squid Game real. That

46:03

seems, uh... I haven't

46:06

seen it, but that seems just like, uh,

46:08

kind of absurd to me.

46:10

It's like the beauty

46:13

of... Maybe beauty's not the

46:15

right word, but what was so interesting about

46:18

the actual... The fictional

46:21

show was there were

46:23

real stakes, you know? And

46:26

it was, uh... You

46:31

know, and it was kind of a psychological...

46:36

You know, it was a... Yes. Not

46:39

a psychol... Well, I mean, it was a... Psychological

46:43

study, as it were, of what you would

46:46

do, how far you would go... For

46:49

this money, knowing that the

46:51

stakes were extremely high, but as

46:53

you... As more and more people

46:55

were killed off, the pot grew

46:57

bigger. And, um...

47:01

And this is like a... You

47:04

know, a game that

47:06

doesn't have the same stakes, so what would... Why

47:08

would it be interesting? I haven't seen it. Do you

47:11

know how much money they're giving away? I do

47:13

not. Over four

47:15

million dollars. But what are

47:17

the stakes? Because they

47:19

give money away in a lot of games. Well,

47:22

it's more money than most games,

47:24

and you get ink explosion

47:27

when you get knocked out. You

47:29

get an ink explosion. They put it in... To

47:32

simulate blood, like a blood pack? Or is it

47:34

getting shot? But you're not

47:36

really getting shot. No, but the ink... And then they

47:38

have to pretend to be dead. So

47:41

there's acting skills in there? Yes. And

47:44

then you're judged by the Academy afterwards? Well,

47:46

kind of in a way, yeah. So

47:48

what are some of the content? Is it the stuff from the game?

47:51

Yes, the same as the show. But

47:53

you don't die? No, but... What about the big

47:55

glass bridge that was... so

48:00

high that if you didn't make

48:02

it, you would fall to your death. They haven't done that

48:04

yet. Oh, okay. All

48:06

right. What have they done? So

48:08

far they did a red light green light. Yeah, they did

48:10

red light green light and they did the cookie, the

48:13

honeycomb, cutting out

48:15

the honeycomb. Which one was that? I

48:17

don't remember that. They cut out the honeycomb and they got a

48:19

wick it. Everyone's wicking it.

48:23

I don't remember that from the show. They're wicking

48:25

it, wicking it, wicking it, and then they cut

48:27

it out with a needle. Well,

48:30

I don't know what your. It's a shape. Circle,

48:33

triangle, square, I mean

48:35

star and an

48:38

umbrella. Was, oh wait,

48:40

oh wait dude, that was like the second game,

48:43

right? Yeah. Oh, I vaguely

48:45

remember that. They

48:47

had people doing that. Everybody licking,

48:49

licking, licking. And

48:51

then if you don't, what, do it in time,

48:54

then you. Yeah. Or if you break it. Why

48:57

would you watch that? That seems so boring to me. Uh,

49:03

I don't choose to watch it, but it's

49:05

on. You know. Oh, is this go back to your boyfriend

49:07

to see what I watch it? He wants to watch it.

49:10

He wants to watch it. And I say, I'll just read

49:12

my book. What are

49:14

you reading? An amazing book. What is it?

49:17

It's a book about a theater troupe.

49:19

Okay. Somebody's killed. Oh,

49:22

a murder mystery. I just

49:24

love this stuff. A

49:26

theater troupe murder mystery. I

49:28

just love it. Gosh, two of my least

49:30

favorite things. Two

49:33

of my most favorite things. What now,

49:35

what is it that you love about

49:37

this particular theater troupe? It's

49:40

in London. I mean, England. Okay.

49:44

You don't want to get specific. You just want to keep it to

49:46

the country. I actually don't know where. I

49:49

don't know where it is. You assume it's England because of the, are

49:51

they. Favorite. Humor.

49:55

They say humor and favorite. You

49:57

can hear their accent when you're.

50:00

reading it? Spelled with a U. Oh, I

50:02

got you. Like color. Oh,

50:04

yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do they

50:06

say autumn instead of fall? They haven't said autumn yet. Oh,

50:09

okay. I shouldn't say instead of

50:11

but uh... You don't say autumn? I

50:14

say fall but in the UK they'll

50:16

say autumn. They don't say fall, they

50:18

say autumn. Lightning bug? Oh,

50:22

I'm a lightning bug guy. Firefly. No,

50:24

I'm lightning bug. Okay. I

50:27

thought that was southern. Lightning

50:29

bug? Yeah, just checking. Okay,

50:31

I say lightning bug. Why'd you bring up

50:33

alone? Uh, because

50:35

of... Oh,

50:38

it was something that you ate that...

50:40

Oh, grilling the sunflower. Oh, yeah.

50:42

Yeah. That was like 10 minutes

50:44

ago. She's kind of curious, we kind of breeze

50:47

past that. Oh, I meant like you

50:49

would eat in a loan, you would be

50:51

really psyched to have a sunflower to eat.

50:54

What? They're very

50:56

alone. Yeah. Oh,

50:58

jeez. You know, there's a bunch of

51:01

survivalists and you go out,

51:03

you're allowed to bring 10 things from

51:05

home, specifically

51:08

things you can't bring but 10

51:10

things and then it's just you

51:12

in a very... It's

51:14

a fascinating show, it's great. Remote

51:17

part of the world and

51:19

it's just you and a massage therapist and

51:21

you're left to your own and

51:23

you have to build your own shelter, get your own

51:25

food and... Massage therapist?

51:27

And there's... Everyone gets one

51:30

massage therapist to bring with them and

51:32

then you

51:34

just go out amongst your cell. I

51:37

mean, just... That's it. You go

51:39

out and you are... I mean, that's it. Nobody's helping

51:41

you do anything. Obviously, the massage therapist

51:43

is there to give you a massage

51:45

and maybe lug some of

51:49

the stuff but that's not... They're

51:51

there for one reason, to give you a massage

51:53

but the other person, yeah. And

51:57

I thought naked and afraid was tense. Jeez.

52:01

I know I haven't

52:03

seen Naked and Afraid,

52:05

but I have seen Partially

52:08

Clothed and Brave. And

52:11

that is, I got through like

52:13

three episodes and was bored to tears. Well, you

52:15

gotta get to the finale. Of

52:17

Partially Clothed and Brave? Mm-hmm. Okay.

52:21

What is it? Okay. Makes

52:24

it worth it. I also thought it

52:26

was odd that they would go bottomless and

52:28

not topless. Well, you know, I think

52:30

that a lot of people think topless is a little

52:32

overdone. It is, yeah. It's a little

52:34

hack. Yeah, so they're mixing it

52:37

up. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Do

52:40

you know what? I do still feel a

52:42

little bit guilty. About what?

52:48

Um, I just, you know,

52:50

I just keep replaying some

52:52

of the pranks that we did. And

52:55

I do think that they, I

52:58

just feel like people, I don't

53:02

think people understood that. I think people were

53:04

hurt. That it

53:06

was well-meaning and well-intentioned. But... Yeah,

53:11

people got hurt. Yeah. Emotionally

53:13

and physically. Yes. Though

53:15

that one little boy broke his leg. Yeah,

53:19

and I just, I do regret, I

53:21

do regret doing it.

53:24

Now, we've talked about

53:27

this a million times, but that

53:30

was, we were only

53:35

kind of, we weren't 100%

53:41

responsible for his broken leg. We were, it

53:43

was... It's

53:46

nice for you to say that. It's nice for you to say

53:48

that, but... Well, I'm not trying to, I'm

53:50

just saying it's true. It's like... You

53:53

painted the Vaseline on those stairs. Yeah.

53:57

Back on camera. Yes.

54:00

But, I mean... And then

54:02

you pushed him. Right.

54:04

Well, there's so many

54:06

other aspects. There's gravity. There's his

54:09

inability to hold this balance. And

54:11

you, when you say push, I

54:13

think what... Excuse

54:15

me. I think what people infer

54:19

from that is that I gave him a

54:21

healthy, hard push, which

54:23

I did not. I did

54:25

the thing where I tapped him on the left shoulder and

54:28

he turned and then I tapped him on the right shoulder

54:30

and he kept turning, you know, and

54:32

I would hide and tap him and he was

54:34

getting upset. Then he kind of

54:36

wheeled around and then I

54:38

just did that thing. If you're

54:40

listening, I did where you take your middle

54:43

finger, put it up to your thumb, almost like

54:45

a, like a A-OK sign,

54:47

but then you flick. So

54:50

I did that. So it's not a push-push. You

54:54

don't feel guilty about doing this prank show? Well,

54:58

but also we were told, and

55:01

this is part of the lawsuit and I think this is

55:03

why we'll be victorious

55:06

in this. We were

55:08

told that, oh, that's not

55:10

really Vaseline, that's stage Vaseline. Those

55:12

aren't real stairs. Those are stage

55:15

stairs. And, you know, we

55:18

were told that we

55:20

certainly didn't expect somebody, neither

55:23

of us expected that A,

55:25

people would get really hurt. We

55:27

expected some scrapes and bruises, but that

55:29

we didn't expect a broken leg. And

55:32

to be honest, he was lucky.

55:34

That's all he got, you know. Well, I

55:36

guess I'll say this, is that,

55:38

you know, I, you know,

55:41

I considered this show a big

55:43

break, right? You know. Well,

55:45

that was the name of it, Big Break. Yeah.

55:49

And, you know, and then it was

55:51

also, you know, my big break. And then I thought,

55:53

you know, well, if Big Dave Cross is doing it,

55:55

then I'll do it. You know, this is huge. My

55:57

manager said, you know. You're

56:00

gonna really get along with this guy. This is gonna be

56:02

good for you Yeah,

56:04

well big Dave cross wasn't available. So they

56:06

got me medium-sized

56:08

David cross but Had

56:11

big Dave cross been that could have been really

56:13

good for me. It could have been good Yeah,

56:15

and you know now I'm a but Joe that

56:17

the tie it's the what the show was Is

56:21

in the title big break and we didn't

56:23

understand that but the idea was that you

56:25

would break Somebody's bones and

56:27

that was ha ha isn't that funny

56:29

jackass times 10 on

56:32

steroids, you know, yeah But

56:34

it's just you know, I do feel I

56:36

still get I Still

56:38

get letters about it Like

56:42

actual people writing a thing on a piece

56:44

of paper putting it in there. Yeah addressing

56:47

it stamping it Yeah, dropping it off

56:49

post office. Yeah and telling me

56:51

that I've you know, I'm st.

56:53

Louis Has to be

56:55

right. Well, yeah. Yeah, that's

56:57

where they still write letters I mean,

56:59

they're furious and I can't believe it was on

57:01

the air for as long as it was 19

57:03

years It's

57:07

that's you know, if you calculate how many

57:09

bones we broke It's

57:12

the same pilot episode over and over again, you

57:15

know But it's it still sells

57:17

people still like to watch it. That little

57:19

boy is now a young

57:21

man and Of

57:25

legal age as it were How

57:28

many bones you think you broke a Mine

57:30

or somebody else somebody else. Well, I know

57:33

12 And

57:35

I'm including compound fractures. I Just

57:39

think that you know at the time I thought it was

57:41

funny and I don't

57:43

think it's funny. I don't think it's funny anymore.

57:45

Well because you're getting all the letters I haven't gotten

57:48

one letter, you know, they made me take a hammer

57:51

To an old woman's femur. Yeah,

57:54

that's not a prank That's

57:56

on camera. Well, it's

57:58

a prank She thought

58:01

the hammer, she couldn't see, don't forget. I

58:04

mean, she couldn't see well. She could see

58:06

that she wasn't blind. She

58:09

was legally blind but in a court of law. I

58:12

mean, you go, who's blind here? You know, I

58:15

mean, it's hard to prove and disprove. You

58:17

know, you need an ophthalmologist.

58:21

I just, I

58:23

came in there and the

58:25

prank was so thin. You know,

58:27

oh, I'm a carpenter. You

58:30

know, and then, and

58:33

I hammered on her femur. You

58:35

know, she's screaming in pain. Yeah.

58:38

You know, and then I, you know, they tell

58:40

me I got that, you know, I got the bug

58:42

in my ear. And they say, they

58:44

say, wink to camera. This

58:47

woman's screaming in pain and

58:49

I'm winking to camera. Yeah. And

58:52

that's on, you know, that's... That's why it's funny.

58:55

And you know, you didn't have to hit her 10

58:57

times. I mean, that's,

58:59

I think where the,

59:02

we have an issue because she

59:05

was screaming in pain. I think it was understood

59:07

that you were supposed to hit her once

59:10

and you're the one and the, and

59:12

we have it on tape. The

59:14

blows got more dramatic

59:16

and harder and you were kind

59:18

of laughing, crying at the same

59:20

time, whatever that's called. I

59:23

think there's a term for it, but you were

59:25

doing, it was almost maniacal and

59:28

we had to stop you. Don't

59:31

forget that. We had to

59:33

come in and actually restrain you. And

59:36

you actually hit fry-bry, the sound guy. And

59:40

that was the segment that Conan was in. Mm-hmm.

59:45

Well, we, we, he asked to be, not

59:49

photoshopped, but what's that called, where, you know,

59:51

the hologrammed in. So we hologrammed him in

59:53

just like will I am at

59:55

that one Super Bowl. Mm-hmm.

59:59

Yeah. This doesn't haunt you, what you've done? You

1:00:03

don't feel at all conflicted? Uh,

1:00:06

no. I think, I think if

1:00:09

I conflicted you, do I think on

1:00:13

one hand it's

1:00:15

good American entertainment?

1:00:19

And on the other hand, do I

1:00:21

think it's base and awful and

1:00:24

wrong? If that's your

1:00:26

idea of conflict, then yeah. What's

1:00:28

the worst thing? What would you say is the worst thing you

1:00:30

did on that show? Um,

1:00:33

I guess when

1:00:36

there was the guy who thought he was the Doctors

1:00:38

Without Borders guy who thought he was going to win

1:00:40

the award and then I came in and knocked his

1:00:42

teeth out and took a dump in his mouth. It

1:00:45

was probably the worst thing. Top

1:00:48

five? Why, what do you

1:00:50

think? Well,

1:00:52

that one was pretty bad. And that one, you

1:00:54

know, that one is the one that, you know. Oh,

1:00:57

you know what else? Sorry. When

1:00:59

the woman didn't know

1:01:01

that we had put

1:01:04

ghost pepper in her breast milk and then

1:01:06

when she gave it to her baby, that

1:01:09

was pretty bad. That was a bad prank. See

1:01:12

these things, you know, in retrospect, they're not

1:01:14

funny. You know, these are sad, scary

1:01:16

things. I disagree. And at the

1:01:18

time I remember thinking, well, that's the funniest thing

1:01:20

I've ever heard. Yeah. And

1:01:23

it makes me question. But they're not mutually

1:01:25

exclusive. It can be sad and

1:01:27

scary and also be very funny.

1:01:30

But the, I mean, the thing is that, well,

1:01:32

that dump that you took that was sped up

1:01:34

footage, but that took you a long time. It

1:01:37

did. You know, we had to hold that, Doctors.

1:01:39

I mean, just horrible. Yeah. Horrible.

1:01:43

Well, the blood did start to dry and cake around his

1:01:45

mouth, so he had to freshen it up a little bit.

1:01:47

I remember that. But that's why we won

1:01:50

the Emmy for Hare Mika. You

1:01:53

know, I'm glad, I'm always glad with a TV

1:01:55

show, you know, to give people jobs.

1:01:57

Yeah, absolutely. And I think that that

1:01:59

was. I mean the

1:02:02

Bravo network is responsible

1:02:05

for employing most

1:02:07

of America's idiots and a

1:02:09

good chunk of them. And so it's always

1:02:11

good. People complain about all

1:02:13

those Bravo shows, but like, you know, what

1:02:16

would these people be doing without them? These

1:02:19

people are borderline like,

1:02:21

I'm going to say the R word. Okay,

1:02:23

don't say the R word. I will say this. I

1:02:26

don't think- Rich. I was going to say rich.

1:02:29

Oh, right. Okay,

1:02:31

so I just think- let

1:02:34

me tell you this, okay? This one I did

1:02:36

feel a little bit of, you

1:02:38

know, I questioned it at the time.

1:02:40

Okay. And I was too afraid to say anything.

1:02:43

Okay. Because I was so young. Were you naked?

1:02:46

No. No, no. They're clothed and

1:02:48

afraid. Yeah. Not as interesting.

1:02:51

And I was really young in business. Yeah.

1:02:55

I was about probably 42. And

1:02:57

I was told, you know,

1:02:59

drive this crane until this building.

1:03:03

Right. And I said it- What are

1:03:05

our most popular episodes? I don't know the joke. Can

1:03:07

you explain the joke to me? And

1:03:09

you know, and the

1:03:11

writer of the show, he's, you know, he

1:03:13

walked me through the joke. You

1:03:16

know, it's kind of like the crane is

1:03:18

there to build the building.

1:03:20

Right. And the fact that it's

1:03:23

destroying the building, that's a joke. So

1:03:25

the joke part of it also is the people

1:03:27

in the building didn't know what was

1:03:29

going to happen. Right. There's a surprise.

1:03:31

Yeah. And the maternity

1:03:34

ward was on the third floor. So-

1:03:38

And I do regret driving

1:03:41

a crane into that hospital. No, I

1:03:43

don't. I mean,

1:03:45

I'm sorry you have letters coming to

1:03:47

you, but- It's just- It's

1:03:50

kind of fun to get mail though. It's never, I

1:03:52

mean, you know, mail was fun to open up. It's

1:03:54

exciting. Hey, I got

1:03:56

a letter. Right? You

1:03:58

know, I just do. I think

1:04:00

so. You

1:04:03

know, it makes me question, you know, my

1:04:06

current projects, you know,

1:04:08

and if I'm judging these correctly to do these

1:04:10

things. Are people getting hurt in your current

1:04:12

projects? Yeah. Okay,

1:04:15

so there's hope. That's

1:04:18

good. Well, you think that's... I

1:04:21

think that's positive. Do you have

1:04:23

anything you'd like to plug? This

1:04:25

will probably come out in 2024. Anything

1:04:30

upcoming? I guess I

1:04:36

have this show coming out and

1:04:39

basically I go into movie

1:04:42

theaters and libraries where people are

1:04:44

kind of focused

1:04:47

and quiet and I just

1:04:49

scream at them. Okay.

1:04:52

Anything beyond that? That

1:04:55

happens within the show? No,

1:04:57

that's kind of the base. It's kind

1:04:59

of a super cut of me screaming at people

1:05:01

who are quietly focused. And it's an hour

1:05:03

long? Hour and a half. Hour and

1:05:05

a half. Wow. Okay.

1:05:07

That's cool. Did this show take you around

1:05:09

this thing? It'll be on Pluto. It

1:05:12

what? It'll be on Pluto. Pluto

1:05:14

TV. Pluto

1:05:16

has its own TV. Wait, I don't understand. Pluto TV.

1:05:19

Pluto has its own... No. Why

1:05:22

would they have a... I don't get it. Pluto

1:05:24

TV. I don't know what that is. Emma, do

1:05:26

you know Pluto TV? What is it? She doesn't

1:05:28

know either. Nobody knows what that is. It's really popular.

1:05:30

Well, but that can't be that popular. Judge Judy's on it. Who?

1:05:34

Judge Judy. Judge Judy. Pluto

1:05:37

TV. I don't know. What is Pluto? Pluto like

1:05:39

the dog, the Disney dog? It's an app. It's

1:05:41

an app. Why is it named Pluto? Because Tooby was

1:05:43

taken. Pluto is paying my mortgage. I

1:06:00

just haven't heard. No, those ain't my mortgage.

1:06:02

That's great. Okay. Good

1:06:04

for you. Okay. I have a huge

1:06:06

house. I've got a huge mortgage.

1:06:09

I guess so. Well, that's a fancy

1:06:11

area of town. Well. A

1:06:13

little boring, but fancy. I got the only house in the

1:06:15

park. Your

1:06:17

house is in Central Park? Mm-hmm. I

1:06:20

got those. Wait, like the dairy thing, the

1:06:22

dairy farm? Like that's the only house in the park.

1:06:24

Recreation over on the east side? Is

1:06:28

it, is it actually, I love that old like, mid-19th

1:06:31

century, I think it's

1:06:33

the dairy farm or whatever. On

1:06:36

the east side? You know what my

1:06:38

address is? Uh,

1:06:42

Central Park Lane? One

1:06:44

Central Park Lane. Wow. That's

1:06:47

some fancy shit, Jo. Yeah. Well, you're

1:06:49

really coming up. Yeah, well, that's Pluto's. That's how it's things

1:06:51

to Pluto. Okay. Well,

1:06:54

it's good for something. You know, I think about, you

1:06:56

know, my life and show business and I think about,

1:06:58

you know, I think a lot of people do. Yeah,

1:07:01

I do think about kind of, you know,

1:07:03

what my role has been in kind of

1:07:05

prank comedy

1:07:08

and kind of, you know,

1:07:12

causing pain and discomfort temporarily, you

1:07:14

know, for the good of the

1:07:16

greater smile. Mm-hmm. And

1:07:19

I think that, you know, I do regret quite a bit,

1:07:21

but I guess I'm hoping to, I'm

1:07:23

hoping to

1:07:26

ultimately make enough smiles that overrides the pain.

1:07:30

Do you know how many smiles that would be?

1:07:32

Well, Pluto keeps track of smiles. So

1:07:35

Pluto, so far in the

1:07:38

pilot of this show

1:07:40

where I scream at people

1:07:42

who are quietly focused, so

1:07:44

far it's about 30 percent

1:07:47

smiles. And where

1:07:49

does that rank and what Pluto's looking

1:07:51

for? Pluto is looking for 65

1:07:53

percent smiles. Oh, so

1:07:55

you got to double it, more than double

1:07:57

it. You know, the show that you... Yes,

1:08:00

better as it goes along. You

1:08:30

regret. You

1:08:56

regret. You

1:09:00

regret. You

1:09:30

skillet. Enjoy

1:09:51

it. But

1:10:03

you were, sorry, you were kind

1:10:05

of rolling the dice on the egg. I

1:10:08

knew it would be fine. You knew it would be

1:10:10

fine. So not much of a story then. Who

1:10:13

cares if it's six months, four months, eight months. If

1:10:15

you knew you were going to be okay, kind

1:10:18

of takes away the mystery

1:10:20

part of the- I'll be honest with you,

1:10:22

I'm taking a storytelling class right now. Your

1:10:25

what? I'm taking a storytelling class. Oh.

1:10:29

Have you had any classes yet? Yeah. Oh.

1:10:33

I've had four classes. You've done four. Yeah. What

1:10:36

do they teach you? What do they tell you not to do? Well,

1:10:38

they say they say something pretty outrageous and then

1:10:40

kind of wrap it up pretty quick. Are

1:10:45

you going to do that at any point? I just did

1:10:47

that. Oh. With the egg?

1:10:50

Yeah. That was the story. I've been

1:10:52

kind of workshopping in

1:10:55

the class. So what is

1:10:57

your definition of outrageous? Egg,

1:11:02

that was six months old yesterday. Right.

1:11:04

That's an example. But what is your

1:11:07

definition of outrageous? The

1:11:09

egg is six months old. If

1:11:11

somebody said, hey, what does the word

1:11:13

outrageous mean? You would say, well, the

1:11:15

egg is six months old. That's how

1:11:17

you would define outrageous. You want me to

1:11:19

define the word? Yeah.

1:11:21

That's what I've been asking. When you don't even know

1:11:23

Jojo Glass. You want me to define the word outrageous?

1:11:26

I don't think it's incumbent upon me to

1:11:28

know who Jojo Glass is. No, I'll say

1:11:30

outrageous. Okay. It means wacky wild

1:11:32

and there was a chocolate bar named after

1:11:35

it. You drink peanuts, chocolate,

1:11:37

caramel, and nougat. I

1:11:41

just want to go back a second. So part

1:11:43

of the definition of outrageous is the word wacky.

1:11:48

So in order for something to be

1:11:50

outrageous, it must be wacky. Something

1:11:54

wacky. Crazy?

1:12:00

to be crazy. Yeah, is

1:12:03

that a statement or a question? Question.

1:12:07

Oh, the answer is no. There's

1:12:11

your answer. Have you ever had an outrageous candy bar?

1:12:15

I've had a couple of whatchamacallits that were

1:12:17

outrageous. Whatchamacallits

1:12:20

are different from outrageous. But

1:12:23

they're outrageous. But

1:12:25

outrageous trademarker sheet is

1:12:27

very good. I don't think

1:12:30

I've ever heard of the candy bar

1:12:33

outrageous. Yeah, an orange wrapper. No,

1:12:36

I don't remember. Whatchamacallit was in

1:12:38

the red wrapper. Pan, pan, pan.

1:12:40

Pan? Oh, what an unappealing

1:12:42

color choice for candy. No, with

1:12:44

a name like that, you got to tame it down with the

1:12:47

wrapper color. Yeah, whatchamacallits. That

1:12:50

was for fun. Do you remember Marathon Bars? I don't.

1:12:53

Well, Joe. Yeah. Or

1:12:55

Jojo for long. We've come

1:13:00

to the part of the podcast where I'm going

1:13:02

to ask you a question posed

1:13:04

by my daughter. Okay. And

1:13:08

here is the question. Okay. So

1:13:12

my daughter, Marla,

1:13:14

would like to know, Joe Firestone,

1:13:19

what makes shade? It's

1:13:26

a great question. Basically,

1:13:28

it's kind of like if you

1:13:30

kind of say something with attitude

1:13:34

and or if you're blocking a

1:13:38

sun or the lamp. Okay,

1:13:43

I'm going to try to repeat that. So what makes shade? The answer is something

1:13:49

about attitude and then or if you're

1:13:51

blocking the sun or a lamp. Okay.

1:13:57

Shade. Shade. I

1:14:00

don't know any other answer. Okay. What

1:14:02

makes shades? And then you're sticking with it. Okay. Eaves.

1:14:05

Eaves, sure. And Eve would

1:14:07

make shade. Yeah. Visors.

1:14:09

Visor. Yep. Brims.

1:14:13

Brim, part of the visor family is part of

1:14:15

the Brim family.

1:14:28

And I think maybe lean twos. Lean

1:14:31

twos. Okay. There you

1:14:33

go. All right, Marlo, there's your,

1:14:36

the answer to your question. What makes shade?

1:14:38

And I actually have a question from

1:14:40

my daughter to you. Okay.

1:14:45

My daughter's name is

1:14:50

Rachel. Okay. And

1:14:52

Rachel asks. Okay.

1:14:55

What is the difference between

1:14:57

a scarf

1:15:01

and a muff? Rachel

1:15:04

wants to know the difference between a scarf and

1:15:06

a muff. Okay.

1:15:10

And keep in mind, my daughter's six and

1:15:12

your daughter's 21. But

1:15:15

okay, Rachel. A

1:15:17

difference between a scarf and a muff. I

1:15:21

believe a scarf is

1:15:23

a elongated strip

1:15:26

of fabric that is designed to

1:15:32

warm your neck, keep your neck warm. There

1:15:35

are multiple ways to

1:15:39

shape it so that it'll remain on and you

1:15:41

can have a lot of warmth or a little

1:15:43

bit of warmth depending on the shape and where

1:15:45

you put it. A muff, I

1:15:48

think, is designed for your

1:15:50

hands to keep, it's

1:15:53

for like rich people to keep the, just their hand.

1:15:55

They don't want to put it in their pocket so

1:15:58

they can't be bothered with it. that so

1:16:00

they have a, they

1:16:03

pay a lot of money to kill and

1:16:07

skin an animal and

1:16:09

then line the animal

1:16:14

carcass with silk and

1:16:17

then they make kind of a

1:16:19

tubular thing that can fit your hands.

1:16:23

I'll try to get that all back to Rachel. Okay,

1:16:27

well tell her this episode will come out in... Or

1:16:31

2025, yeah. Oh. Yeah.

1:16:34

And then she might stumble upon the answer on

1:16:37

her own. Did something happen that you

1:16:40

want to postpone it a year? This

1:16:42

episode? I just wanted to plug my show.

1:16:45

Oh, go right ahead. No, I already

1:16:47

plugged it. Yeah.

1:16:51

Okay, so if you're listening to this

1:16:53

in 2025, check out Joe Firestone's cancelled

1:16:55

show. What

1:17:02

is it called? Screaming

1:17:06

at the folks. It

1:17:08

might not be cancelled. Pluto might. Check

1:17:11

it out on Pluto. They

1:17:14

have a limited library so I'm sure it's going to stay on

1:17:17

there. They got Judge Judy. Why

1:17:19

don't you double up with the Judge Judy combo?

1:17:22

Joe Firestone followed up by Judge

1:17:24

Judy. Only

1:17:26

on Pluto. By

1:17:30

then, Netflix could have required it. Or

1:17:33

Netflix. Check your local

1:17:35

cable. Netflix.

1:17:38

What? Wouldn't

1:17:41

it be on cable? Oh, check

1:17:43

your... Right, you're right. Check

1:17:46

all your... Where do you get your shows

1:17:49

from? Check it out. Do you

1:17:51

stream it? Check

1:17:53

that. Possibility out. Anyway, you're

1:17:55

looking for Joe Firestone's new...

1:17:59

Could be seasonal. could be season 2 could

1:18:02

never even air you don't know on

1:18:05

Pluto the

1:18:08

to be of cable

1:18:11

nothing Pluto's it should be to be

1:18:13

Pluto's look

1:18:15

for Pluto or to be please

1:18:19

don't direct them to be they will

1:18:22

not find my show there check

1:18:24

it out if it's not on

1:18:26

Pluto you know where to look to

1:18:28

be I

1:18:30

forgive you or your

1:18:33

YouTube channel Joe Firestone

1:18:35

at youtube.org don't

1:18:38

look for it on to be it won't

1:18:41

be there but you can listen to it

1:18:43

on to be to be

1:18:45

don't it won't delete

1:18:49

to be from your apps now

1:18:54

movie that's a different question try

1:18:56

Moby that's a different question all

1:18:58

together movie movie

1:19:02

movie have you been to the movies lately

1:19:06

that's fun Joe

1:19:08

Firestone thank you very much for coming down yeah

1:19:11

thanks for giving me opportunity to plug yeah

1:19:13

you're welcome anytime senses working

1:19:15

overtime is a head gum podcast created

1:19:17

and hosted by me David Cross

1:19:20

the show is edited by Katie Skelton

1:19:22

and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising

1:19:24

producer Emma Foley thanks to Demi Druchin

1:19:26

for our show art and Mark Rivers

1:19:29

for our theme song for more podcasts

1:19:31

by head gum visit head gum com

1:19:33

or wherever you listen to your favorite

1:19:35

shows leave us a review on Apple

1:19:37

podcasts and maybe we'll read it on

1:19:40

a future episode I'm not gonna do

1:19:42

that thanks for listening that

1:19:44

was a head gum podcast