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It's time now for today's Strawberry

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Letter, and if you need advice on relationships,

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yours.

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It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry

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Letter.

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Thank you. Nephew's subject I should tell

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him before marriage.

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Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a twenty nine year

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old engaged woman, but my husband

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doesn't know. I have a big secret. We've

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been dating for almost seven years, and before

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we met, I slept with two

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of his brothers in his fraternity.

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God it was.

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Graduation night and we had

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a house party and things got wild

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in the bathroom with two of my girlfriends

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and the two guys. There

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were five of us, so it wasn't like I'm

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meant to sleep with his return ternity brothers. My

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boyfriend was at this party too, but

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he had no idea where I was.

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We were all so wasted that we could

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not remember all the details to

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tell anyone about it. A few months

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after that happened, my boyfriend told

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me that he cheated on me with someone

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I knew, and I was very hurt, but

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I could not break up with him because I knew what I

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had done to him. I let it go and

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we moved in with each other and have

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been together for years. Just

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a week ago, I ran into one of the

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guys that I had sex with, and

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he was joking about that wild night

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we had in the bathroom. He said,

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it is amazing that I got a good man

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like my fiance. I told him

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what we did was once in a lifetime.

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It was a once in a lifetime thing when I

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was younger, and I haven't done anything

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like that since then. He made me feel

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nasty by the way he looked at me. He

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said, he's planning to come to our wedding. I

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want to tell my fiance how crazy

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the guy talked to me, but I can't because

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I have to tell I'd have to tell the whole

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story. I decided to tell my

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fiance that I was so wasted

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that all I remember was going to the bathroom

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and guys were in there. But he'll

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want to know what guys were in there.

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When I tell him, do I have to tell

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everything? Well, yeah,

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once you started, I mean he's going to be asking

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you questions and all of that. It's

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going to open the door and it's going to all come to

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light if you start that it was a long

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time ago and you were very

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young. Okay, you said you don't

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remember everything that happened that night.

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It's not an excuse. It's just that everyone

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when they're young does really really

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stupid stuff, especially when

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alcohol is involved. And

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you do know there's a double standard, and your

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man will judge you not only because of

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what you did, but who you did.

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His frat brothers are off limits.

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But what's done is done now and that's that.

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However, you are under no obligation to

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tell him about your past. I mean the passage

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is that the past, and you can't change

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what happened. So don't dwell

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on it. Don't tell him. Ask yourself, what

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is telling him gonna do? What is

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that gonna do? If you do tell

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him, be prepared that he's gonna be mad and he might

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leave you because he can't deal with the fact

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that the guys you were with were his fraternity

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brothers.

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Steve, all right, this is a

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real simple letter. I don't know how I can take a

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long time with this. I don't know how I can draw this

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out into two breaks, because this is not a

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two break letter. You are

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twenty nine years old back in college.

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You were twenty twenty one graduation night.

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You was in the bathroom, you and two of your girlfriends

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and two guys at a party. Some

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guy out of hand. All y'all had sex.

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Your boyfriend was at the party. Two It

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just so happened that two of the dudes that was in the

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bathroom was his frat

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brothers. Horrible

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judgment, just a bad judgment.

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Call. You just made a poor

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decision that night. Prisons

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are full of good people who

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made bad decision, full

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of man. There's some great dudes

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and women sitting in prisons all over

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this country that made a bad decision.

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You made a bad decision, w'ch twenty

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nine years old, and now you're

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marrying the guy who was at the party.

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But what happened is you run up into the

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guy you had sex with, and now

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he looking at you crazy, made you feel

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nasty, talk to you a little bit crazy.

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Now you say you want to go tell

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your boyfriend about

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this secret. Now you didn't tell him

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in the beginning, because he

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ended up telling you he cheated with one

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of your friends, a girl you knew,

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and you was hurt by it, but you didn't want to. You

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let it go because you knew what you had did to

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him. Now rose

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had reversed. You're about to get married.

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This frat brother told you he coming to the wedding.

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He can't believe you got a good guy like

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that. You told him it was a once in

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a life time thing. And now

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we at what the letter is about. I

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decided to tell my fiance

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that I was so wasted that all our

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men was going to the bathroom and guys were

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in there. But he'll want to know what guys

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were in there when I tell him, do

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I have to tell him everything? I

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have one word for you, Why

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come on? Why?

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Why why are

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you talking about this? So

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what you ran up into that dude.

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That's what I'm telling you right now that.

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Y'all

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lying, Lying

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is so important.

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Lying. I can't stress

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to you how important

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it is to lie.

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All is truth at

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all costs is the most ignorant

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ass thing you could say.

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The truth doesn't matter.

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Though, truth does not

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matter. The truth is oval

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rating. It is

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overrated. If you told

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him the truth about

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that night, whack. And

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now, do you know what happens after

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you do that? No, you don't know

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what's gonna happen. But do you want Uncle

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Steve to tell you what could

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potentially happen if

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you say this to this man on

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I'll tell you when we come back.

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Save that. Okay, we'll have part two of Steve's

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response coming up at twenty three

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minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry

6:46

Letter, subject I should tell him

6:49

before marriage. We'll get back into it

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right after.

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Yes, you're listening, Morning

6:55

show.

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All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry

6:57

letter. The subject I should tell him before

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marriage.

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Twenty nine year old woman about to get married.

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Been living with a boyfriend a few years now.

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They was dating in college. On graduation night,

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she went into a bathroom and two of her girlfriends,

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two of his frat brothers, was in there. They

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all had sex together. The thing of

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it was, he was at the party

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two that night, her boyfriend

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downstairs, on stairs somewhere like that. Fast

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forward. Years later, he

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admitted to her that he cheated on her with

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a girl. She knew she was hurt, but

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she didn't. She let it go and let

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it slide because she realizes what she had did

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to him on graduation night. Okay,

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I four and I tip for attack. Got it done

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over with. Years later,

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right before the marriages had about to happen,

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she runs into one of the guys that was in the bathroom,

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who is also her fiance's

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frat brother. He said, reminded

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her that wild night and can't believe

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she got such a good guy like this and

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was talking to her crazy, looking at her like she

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was nasty where you was

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all y'all was nasty in that bathroom. It

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was nasty up in there. It was five

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of y'all in there, So something nasty

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happened. You have decided,

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for some ungodly reason,

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that you want to now tell your fiance

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that you got wasted one night and

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was in that bathroom and some

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other people was in there. But you don't want to tell

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him everything. But

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suppose he wants to know more? Do

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I tell him everything? My

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one word question for you is why

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why would you do that? Why

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would you open your damn mouth?

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Why let's go to what's

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wrong with that? Why would

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you tell the truth. Let's

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just explore it from the woman

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angle who always wants to know every

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damn thing. See y'all want to see

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y'all. I always want to know every damn thing.

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But then you, your dumb ass, wanna

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tell every damn thing. Shut

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show damn mouth. This

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ain't the time for truth. He

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ain't suspected nothing. He didn't

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bust you. They aint went to him

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and say, hey man, we got something to tell you. Ain't

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none of that happened. You have been

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forgiven. Move on. Now

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you gonna go in here and tell

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him. I was in the bathroom with two

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of your friends on graduation, and then

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they ain't got out here. And then we all him

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and five of us in there and we had

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sex, and that was there. They will be there.

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I didn't want to stop because it was good, and

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they were a while we was graduating, so I

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was celebrating in there. Your friend

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brother Hall, he was all over me. He just

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kept on. And then I saw Hale and

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he told me about the little girl. What

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you did that bad judgment night

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as a young woman. You a grown

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woman. Now shut your damn mouth. I

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keep telling you all about this truth over rate

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it. It ain't the time for you. There

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are times when lies are absolutely

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necessary.

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Now if now, and I'm gonna

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tell you how you could lie. If the frat

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brother went to his frat brother and say, hey, man,

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I can't let you do this. I had your

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girl that night. We was in the bathroom.

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Guess what you say. I wasn't in no damn

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bathroom. Okay,

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what are you talking about? Get hear me bring

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I wasn't in no damn bathroom with you.

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You like, I promise you I'll

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be in there. I know

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that's right. And you

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ain't even got to lie because

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guess what all you got to

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do is not bring it up right.

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This is not being deceitful.

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This is called forgiveness.

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That's what it is. This is

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called grace. Let

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me tell you something, young lady. I

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can assure you that all of us

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have done something that

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God has allowed us to slide

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on. Thank you Lord. All

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all of us donedone something

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that we hope would never get out

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there, and it just didn't get

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out especially

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those of us who lived in the time before

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social media and phone camels.

11:30

I can't tell you how

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grateful I am to God

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that the seventies and eighties

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and nineties and

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early two thousands.

11:45

No proof that run I made

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from seventy seven to two

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thousand and five was epic.

11:56

Oh what my Space wasn't

11:58

even out then?

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The Hall King

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tour is undocumented.

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Thank you Jesus. Now,

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wow, would I take

12:16

my family and sit

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them down and say, let me

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tell you I can't live like this. I'm

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fin to tell you everything. Man,

12:25

my kids, let me tell you so my

12:28

kids will leave me, not my

12:32

kids would leave me, Daddy?

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What my

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grandkids are quick calling me? Paupaul? Hang

12:43

it out to man, Lady

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lady, don't open your mouth.

12:48

It's okay. And trust me, everybody

12:51

listening has done something that

12:53

God has given them some grace for and just let

12:55

it slide. Eat that alone, all

12:58

right?

12:58

Your comment? Thank you Steve on Today's Strawberry

13:01

Letter. On Instagram and Facebook, It's Steve Harvey

13:03

FM. And check us out on the Strawberry Letter

13:05

podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.

13:07

Coming up next it is Junior and Sports

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Talk. Right after this, you're listening

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to the Steve Harvey Morning Show