The 100 Word Stories Podcast

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Weekly Challenge #660 – Polar

  • about 12 hours ago

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic. We’ve got stories by: LizzieRichardSerendipityJerryTomJonNorval JoePlanet Z LIZZIE “A polar front is approaching…” and I didn’t hear anything else.Nowadays, it’s either too cold or too hot, too windy, too stormy, too something, too whatever.The polar front is just another weather (aka stressful) event that comes for a visit to this quiet little country in the South of Europe.The weather website mentions temperatures of 15C (that is 59F).I think that’s OK. 15 degrees is not that polar.Now that I think of it… if it starts to snow here, I’ll have to write something else about how silly I was for believing the Internet. RICHARD Attraction They say opposites attract. I’m not so sure. When I met my wife, we had plenty in common: Similar musical tastes, a shared passion for the same kinds of movies, and a range of interests we jointly pursued. Now, according to her, we’ve somehow become polar opposites. She’s an angel – I’m the devil incarnate. She’s always right – I’m always in the wrong. Her needs are paramount – mine, unimportant. And all her family and friends are wonderful, special people – mine are a bunch of losers and reprobates. But I’ve learned one thing… Opposites certainly do not attract! SERENDIPIDY I fed him to the polar bearsTo supplement their dietAnd soon I’ll do the same with youUnless you promise to stay quietKids really should be seen, not heardIf they want to keep their skinOr else it goes to the tigers‘ denTo stop them getting thinYour sister gave the lions a treatAll minced up for their teaThat’s what you get when you try it onAnd answer back to meSo let that be a lessonTo other children tooBe on your best behaviourWhen mum works at the zoo! JERRY Johnny looked out the window of his bedroom.  Across the snow covered yards.  Across the snow covered field.  Across the line of leafless trees with snow outlining their branches.  It was after midnight but something far away had awakened him.  The iron tracks at the railroad crossing stretched north past the horizon.  To the south a distant light wavered coming nearer.  It was a powerful black engine with white steam poring into the sky above it.  The passenger cars followed behind.  Johnny smiled as he lifted the window and edged through to the ground below.  It was the Polar Express. TOM Home From the Hill    The polar coordinates showed he was high and outside. Ben executed multiple thruster corrections. A pulsing blue vector “X” nudged in line with a pulsing red vector “X”. The high pitched response speaker cut off, which made deep thought a bit easier. Ben feed the new polar coordinates in to his right input panel.  A green X appear on his heads up. “Not my favorite mode of descent,” he mused to ships board computer. “Like you had an opinion, monkey boy.” A tongue of flame set the landing pad a glow. “Me nail banana” hooted Ben. “Not impressed.” chided Sexy. JON Words By Jon DeCles It’s easy to get obsessed with things you don’t understand.  Rond got obsessed with the word polar.  Thought at first that bipolar disorder meant having too much negative and positive energy at the same time.  Sat still for almost a month, doing absolutely nothing.  They took it for meditation, which it might have been.  Found out the Earth had a north and a south pole and booked a tour of Antartica, then headed north.  The Inuit talked about polar bears, but Rond heard bare instead of bear, got confused about magnetic and geographic and was found meditating, polar and bare. NORVAL JOE Billbert scratched his head. “Are you telling me that you and Mom have superpowers?”His father blushed. “Well, actually, just your mother. Not me. I married into the family.“”Sorry, Dad. I still think your cool, but, what can mom do that’s super special?“”Haven’t you noticed?” his father asked. “She can go days without needing rest. When we were first dating, I thought she was bi-polar, but then I realized, she never had any of the down times.“”What about Uncle Sylvester and Aunt Eustashia?”His dad shrugged. “Sylvester turns into a cat and your aunt never smells bad.” PLANET Z Fierce winds ripped across the endless snow and ice.Listen to the windmill generators creak as they power the station.You can look out the window, but you won’t see anything.The night never ends in June… it will be months before the sun rises again over the South Pole.We walk through tunnels from one insulated hut to another, checking readings and conducting experiments and analysing samples.At night… well, during the evenings, we cook dinner and play cards.And no hiding any aces up your sleeve, either.Cheating gets you one minute outside, where it’s a hundred below.

The topic of the next weekly challenge is BELT

  • about 13 hours ago

Hi there. This is Laurence Simon of the 100 Word Stories Podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. Every week, I post a topic for the Weekly Challenge, where you come up with the stories and I collect them up and share them. Want to give it a try? The topic of the next 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge is BELT: Write a 100 word story on that topic. Then, send it in an email to isfullofcrap (at) gmail.com with the subject line of WEEKLY CHALLENGE. Do you have a website where people can learn more about you and your writing? Include the URL to that website. Also, suggest a topic or topics for future Weekly Challenges. Most importantly, include a recording of your story. Be sure to introduce yourself to the audience. I put the episode together on Sunday morning. However, if you need more time, I can put your story up on the feed in a separate post. Good luck, and as always… keep it brief. https://mp3.oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/thenexttopicisBELT.mp3 DEC 2 Too muchDEC 8 PolarDEC 16 BeltDEC 23 IrritationDEC 30 PICK TWOReflectPounceGymnasticsObsoleteEngageGirlsEasier And for 2019… JAN 6 cornerJAN 13 adultJAN 20 jamJAN 27 PICK TWOjudgedeliveryyourlionunicorncherryIncense FEB 3 transmissionFEB 10 mugFEB 17 sharpFEB 24 PICK TWObobstitcheatenpittancedeletetrumpetTicket MAR 3 wordyMAR 10 killMAR 17 why can’t you be more like your sister?MAR 24 confluenceMAR 31 PICK TWOstandardblindingblitheringponysparkleamuseFire APR 7 emotiveAPR 14 chargeAPR 21 potato chipsAPR 28 PICK TWOhireheart attackstripweaponizefinknancyBumbling MAY 5 jackMAY 12 slurpMAY 19 zoneMAY 26 PICK TWOstunted growthbathpassivepeltatmospherenamelessTendency JUN 2 surroundedJUN 9 losingJUN 16 logicJUN 23 plotJUN 30 PICK TWOreasondiscretionzonestuntsimpledeadwoodTuba JUL 7 currentJUN 14 devotionJUL 21 peerJUL 28 PICK TWOalligatorbathvindictivecaterwaulmildredbruisesThat’s Life AUG 4 speedAUG 11 ladyAUG 18 partnersAUG 25 PICK TWOGermanin the darkness…vehiclehalfwaycutecolor-codedPan SEP 1 furrowSEP 8 dresserSEP 15 voidSEP 22 netSEP 29 PICK TWOvoidintertwinedengetfudgedmeltdownTan OCT 6 smuttyOCT 13 sturdyOCT 20 toolOCT 27 PICK TWOsaucyholidaysturtleboomclusterchainsawBreast NOV 3 boomNOV 10 who cares?NOV 17 optionNOV 24 PICK TWOpanelacidblainecurrentcomastinkTaste DEC 1 sassyDEC 8 the F wordDEC 15 brokenDEC 22 throneDEC 29 PICK TWOprobioticseventhfletchbrown manilla envelopementionthat’s what she said…Support

Goodwill to not all men

  • 1 day ago

The Smith Family was poor. Not every-kid-has-a-cell-phone-and-gold-teeth bullshit poor you hear of, but real poor. So poor, at Christmas, the oldest kid would get the new clothes, and then gift their stuff to the next-eldest, and so on. “We may be poor, but we’re proud folk,” said Father. “No child of mine begs from that Goodwill.” So, on it went, one to another. The baby of the family always got worn-out rags. And, eventually, cholera. When the baby died, they buried him naked in the backyard. “Just in case another comes along,” said Father, patting the dirt with his shovel.

Santa’s Sweatshop

  • 2 days ago

“How can it be a sweatshop at the North Pole?” yelled Santa. “It’s fucking cold up here! Too cold to sweat!” Which was true. Santa hadn’t bought coal for the furnace for a century. The elves bundled up in blankets as they worked the assembly lines. If they didn’t lose their fingers to frostbite, they lost them to bandsaws or sanders. The maimed were sent over to the infirmary. Which was nothing more than a shack to sort out who was dying and who could work again. The dead, outside, buried by snowdrifts, their corpses picked at by starving rats.

Look the same

  • 3 days ago

Santa’s elves all look the same. They’re clones, grown in birth tanks in a lab under Santa’s workshops. They’re poured out, dried off, injected with memory-rich protein bases, and sent through automated speed-training to learn the skills necessary to make toys. When they’re ready, they join the assembly lines to make toys. There’s always openings available, because clones only last a few years. Eventually they wear out, or get injured or maimed, and they’re harvested for their memories, and pulped into a nutrient fluid. Which is then piped to the birth tanks, where a new batch of elves are growing.

Itchy Sweaters

  • 4 days ago

When I was young, I remember getting “practical” presents for the holidays, like socks and underwear and sweaters. The worst sweaters ever. Not like the soft, warm, and comfortable sweaters other people had. These were itchy and uncomfortable and didn’t keep me warm at all. “But it looks so good on you,” my mother said. “I feel fucking itchy and cold,” I said. “I’m a person, not your fucking dressup doll.” She sent me to my room without dinner. I climbed out the window, went to the back patio, and set the sweater on fire. The fire kept me warm.

Santa Dies

  • 5 days ago

It didn’t take long for Santa to die. We tied him to a tree and tore off his clothes. A gag in his mouth kept him from calling for help. The next morning, he was dead. Ankle-deep in snow, frozen to death. We untied him and planned to bury him. But the ground was too cold to dig in. “Can we burn him?” one person asked. We were going to have a big bonfire party anyway. So, we dragged him out to the field, covered him with all of our scrap lumber, and watched it all burn as we danced.

Logistics

  • 6 days ago

With the population of the planet nearing eight billion people, Santa’s resources were pushed to their limits. He had given up paper maps long ago, and now relied on a navigation computer with every delivery coded in. Factors like the weather, visibility, cargo space, and proximity shaped his travels, and when the night was over, he downloaded his performance statistics for further refinement of the algorithms. Eventually, he changed what it took to get on the naughty list. Only the absolutely best people made the nice list. And they were just too nice to expect gifts from Santa on Christmas.

Weekly Challenge #659 – Too Much

  • 8 days ago

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic. We’ve got stories by: LizzieRichardTomJonSerendipityNorval JoePlanet Z LIZZIE A mother came to me.She was holding a photograph.It was her daughter’s.A mother came to me with tears in her eyes.She wanted to tell me about the stories.She wanted to tell me about the singing. The painting.“My daughter, you see…”And she held the photograph close to her chest as if that would bring her daughter back.“I’m writing a book, you see…”And she poured her soul into it.A mother came to me and whispered.“It was too much…”And I thought, it was. It was too much pain. RICHARD #1 – Excess “You can’t have too much of a good thing”, my dad used to say, and I took him at his word. First it was an excess of sweets and chocolate. Then, as I grew older, I discovered sex, drugs and rock and roll, so true to my dad’s advice I binged on the lot. These days as I lie, morbidly obese, toothless, deaf, and mentally destroyed by the excesses of my youth, unable to move from my bed, most of my time is taken up with sleep. As dad always said, you can’t have too much of a good thing. #2 – Well, would it? “Would it be too much to ask you to put the toilet seat down after you’ve used it?” She’d complain every morning, “And, while you’re at it, is it too much hassle to replace the toothpaste cap?” Every Thursday…  “Is it too much trouble for you to put the bins out?” Then the constant nagging “I suppose it’s too much to expect you might attempt the washing up, the laundry, the housework, the shopping?” Maybe I come across as lazy, but it’s part of my ploy to make her divorce me… I’d divorce her myself…  But it costs, too much!J TOM Late For Tea I was lucky enough to grow into the Beatles. In 1963 I was a mere 10 years old, not old enough to be even a teeny-bopper. But by 1969 I had six years of Beatle-ness under my musical belt.  Sgt. Pepper’s was height of cool in its day. My favorite track on the LP was: It’s all too much. It totally capture the growing gash in suburban-culture. Story goes Harrison’s wrote the song about his LSD trips. Six years later in the warm California sun I dropped up first tab of acid. Damn if George wasn’t spot on.  Too much SERENDIPITY You’ll let me know when the pain becomes too much, won’t you? Of course you will… You’ll shout, scream and thrash about in your bonds, begging me to stop and pleading for mercy.  Then, as the pain does indeed become too much to bear, your jaw will clamp so tightly your teeth splinter and shatter; you’ll strain so hard, the restraining wires slice through your flesh to the bone. Then I’ll stop… Not to save you from further pain: Nothing is further from the truth. On the contrary, I’m saving you… So we can do it all over again, tomorrow! JON No Elf Eats… By Jon DeCles “Any liver at all is too much!” “You’ve probably never had it cooked right.  You have to wash it thoroughly, then you put bacon on top and grill it for a few minutes, not too long, and then you drizzle maple syrup on it just before it’s done.” “That is a total waste of bacon and maple syrup.  It still tastes like liver! In addition to the flavor, it has a texture that reminds me of dog shit.” “Well what about pate´?  That’s delicious, and…”“It’s liver.  Too much iron.  It’s my Elf blood, on my mother’s side.  I’m Allergic!”  Dug By Jon DeCles Doug dug himself a hole in his backyard so that he could play at being a soldier in combat.  He thought of it as a foxhole because, like many boys, what he knew of war was a mashup of lingo from conflicts about which movies had been made, and a mixup of costume and equipment and technique and weaponry.  His parents did not discourage him.  It cost about the same as killing people in the endless series of first-person-shooter video games. When he died his collection would have been worth a fortune had anyone been still alive to buy it. NORVAL JOE Billbert’s dad put an arm around his shoulders and walked him to his room. “Don’t worry about it too much, Billy. You’ll find, in time, that girls will become a very important part of your life.”Billbert panicked when his father followed him into his room and said, “Have a seat, son. There are some things we probably should talk about.”Billbert squirmed. “It’s okay, Dad. They teach us those things at school, now.”“What? Oh. Of course, they do.” His dad cleared his throat. “But, the kids in our family line are different. When puberty arrives, they develop superpowers.” PLANET Z How much is too much?Well, start with nothing.A lot of people start with nothing.Then, add a little.Which is somewhere between not enough and nothing at all.Then add some.Not much, just a little more.Which is more than a little.And maybe just enough.Then add some more to that.Which is more than some ever have.Add even more to that. And some more. A lot more.More than you could possibly want. Or need.At some point, you’ll wonder if you have too much.That’s when you know you have too much.Stop.

The topic of the next weekly challenge is POLAR

  • 8 days ago

Hi there. This is Laurence Simon of the 100 Word Stories Podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. Every week, I post a topic for the Weekly Challenge, where you come up with the stories and I collect them up and share them. Want to give it a try? The topic of the next 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge is POLAR: Write a 100 word story on that topic. Then, send it in an email to isfullofcrap (at) gmail.com with the subject line of WEEKLY CHALLENGE. Do you have a website where people can learn more about you and your writing? Include the URL to that website. Also, suggest a topic or topics for future Weekly Challenges. Most importantly, include a recording of your story. Be sure to introduce yourself to the audience. I put the episode together on Sunday morning. However, if you need more time, I can put your story up on the feed in a separate post. Good luck, and as always… keep it brief. https://mp3.oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/thenexttopicisPOLAR.mp3 DEC 2 Too muchDEC 8 PolarDEC 16 BeltDEC 23 IrritationDEC 30 PICK TWOReflectPounceGymnasticsObsoleteEngageGirlsEasier And for 2019… JAN 6 cornerJAN 13 adultJAN 20 jamJAN 27 PICK TWOjudgedeliveryyourlionunicorncherryIncense FEB 3 transmissionFEB 10 mugFEB 17 sharpFEB 24 PICK TWObobstitcheatenpittancedeletetrumpetTicket MAR 3 wordyMAR 10 killMAR 17 why can’t you be more like your sister?MAR 24 confluenceMAR 31 PICK TWOstandardblindingblitheringponysparkleamuseFire APR 7 emotiveAPR 14 chargeAPR 21 potato chipsAPR 28 PICK TWOhireheart attackstripweaponizefinknancyBumbling MAY 5 jackMAY 12 slurpMAY 19 zoneMAY 26 PICK TWOstunted growthbathpassivepeltatmospherenamelessTendency JUN 2 surroundedJUN 9 losingJUN 16 logicJUN 23 plotJUN 30 PICK TWOreasondiscretionzonestuntsimpledeadwoodTuba JUL 7 currentJUN 14 devotionJUL 21 peerJUL 28 PICK TWOalligatorbathvindictivecaterwaulmildredbruisesThat’s Life AUG 4 speedAUG 11 ladyAUG 18 partnersAUG 25 PICK TWOGermanin the darkness…vehiclehalfwaycutecolor-codedPan SEP 1 furrowSEP 8 dresserSEP 15 voidSEP 22 netSEP 29 PICK TWOvoidintertwinedengetfudgedmeltdownTan OCT 6 smuttyOCT 13 sturdyOCT 20 toolOCT 27 PICK TWOsaucyholidaysturtleboomclusterchainsawBreast NOV 3 boomNOV 10 who cares?NOV 17 optionNOV 24 PICK TWOpanelacidblainecurrentcomastinkTaste DEC 1 sassyDEC 8 the F wordDEC 15 brokenDEC 22 throneDEC 29 PICK TWOprobioticseventhfletchbrown manilla envelopementionthat’s what she said…Support

Wawona

  • 8 days ago

When Santa isn’t supervising the work at his North Pole Workshop or delivering presents, he likes to take his sleigh around the world to enjoy natural scenery and beauty. Men had cut tunnels through the Giant Sequoias of Yosemite, and only the best reindeer and pilot could fly through them at full speed. But when drunk, Santa wasn’t at his best, and in February on 1969, he crashed into the Wawona Tree, bringing it down. “The goddamned tree moved,” slurred a bloody Santa, stumbling through the wreckage, throwing an empty beer can aside and pulling the tab off of another.

Joy

  • 9 days ago

The team had lost every game in the season. For Christmas, all the coach wanted was a decent quarterback. Santa, being a keen football fan, did his best to deliver some Christmas joy. And on Christmas Day, when the coach woke up and went down to his living room, he saw a package under his tree. The coach unwrapped the package to discover the Santa had left him a decent quarterback. But the quarterback had suffocated from being wrapped in the wrapping paper. The coach took the quarterback to the store, but they wouldn’t give an exchange without a receipt.

Superman on the naughty list

  • 10 days ago

Superman walked north for miles and miles until he was far from civilization. Pulling out the green glowing kryptonite crystal, he hurled it as far as he could. It landed in the middle of Santa ‘s North Pole workshop village. “What’s this?” said Santa, as the crystal melted through the snow. A massive earthquake rumbled the village, spears of ice piercing every building. Countless elves and reindeer were killed and maimed, toys scattered across the tundra as the Fortress of Solitude formed itself. Santa rebuilt his workshop five miles away and put Superman on his naughty list in indelible ink.

Santa’s Mile High Club

  • 11 days ago

When Santa wasn’t flying around the world delivering toys, he was flying around and banging expensive hookers. “Wow!” they’d say, seeing the world rush by. “This is great!” Some of them wanted to drink champagne, others wanted to do lines of coke. “Do what you want,” growled Santa. “As long as you do me.” And they did. After zooming around skyscrapers and under bridges and through the Grand Canyon, Santa would fly out to the deep ocean and push the hooker out of his sleigh so he didn’t have to pay them or take them off of his naughty list.

Santa’s Keynote

  • 13 days ago

Every year at the Santa Convention, the “Real Santa” delivers the keynote address. It’s usually just the winner of The Best Santa Claus Contest giving advice on how to be a great Santa, or about some special Santa Moment he’d had. But one year, it was the actual Santa Claus up there. The real goddamned Santa. He rambled for an hour about how cold it is up at The North Pole. And Reindeer. “I eat a lot of reindeer meat,” he growled. “Elves taste lousy.” Nobody believed that he was the real deal, and he was never invited back again.

Weekly Challenge #658 – Don’t I feel stupid…

  • 15 days ago

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic. We’ve got stories by: Richard Tom Serendipity Norval Joe Planet Z RICHARD #1 – Stupid? Don’t I feel stupid? You’d think so, stood outside in the corridor while the rest of the class gets on with lessons; and I won’t feel stupid later in detention either. I’m doing school on my own terms, and whilst all the other nerds and teachers’ pets are struggling with equations, grammar and historical facts, I’ll be chilling in the corridors and messing about after hours, inconveniencing the teachers and wasting their time. I don’t feel stupid at all. Just wait till I’m in my forties, with a minimum wage job, no prospects and no future… Then I’ll feel stupid! #2 – Breakdown “That’s about the worst thing you can do”, laughed the mechanic. “Fill a diesel car with petrol, and it’s a complete drain and flush, and then prime the fuel system… Won’t be done until tomorrow!” As he winched the car onto the flatbed, I was grateful for breakdown cover. I’d get a tow to my destination – a good four hundred miles down the road – and payment for a night in a hotel. His last words as I jumped down from the truck: “Don’t you feel stupid?” Nope. I wouldn’t be coming back for the car… It’s not mine! TOM No need to apply pain, I can do that unaided Don’t I feel stupid is pretty much the title of the home movies I run in my head on an unending time loop. I know shouting out out loud “Oh fuck” is a kin to blatantly admitting I’m bad shit crazy, but I got a lot screw ups to revisit at the most inopportune times, and each one it verbally cringe worthy. But of late I have found a sort of talisman, a purifying mantra, that oddly enough abates my person furies. With little thought at all I just internally muse, “ALL DEAD.” Seems to work like a champ. SERENDIPITY “Don’t!… I feel stupid”, you protested, as I dressed you up in my frilly underwear and scrawled ‘SLUT’ across your chest in bright red lipstick. “Don’t be silly”, I murmured, “you said you wanted to try new things…” I tied the blindfold, before slipping the noose around your neck, then waited until your struggles finally ceased, before scattering a handful of gay porn across the bed and heading back home. You were found, next day, by the maid in that seedy hotel. Death by sexual misadventure’ was the verdict. ‘The high life, by insurance payout’, made it all so worthwhile! NORVAL JOE Billbert’s parents waited for him in the living room when he got back from the party. He swallowed. His mother was all smiles. “How was the party, dear? Did you have fun?” “Sure. I’m going to bed,” he said. “Wait, son.” His father said. “Who else was there?” “Just me.” “Did you play any games?” His mother asked. “Just one. And then she kissed me,” Billbert admitted. “Oh? Billbert’s got a girl friend,” his father teased. Billbert crossed his arms and scowled. “Don’t! I feel stupid enough as it is.” His mother hugged him and said, “I think you’ll survive.” PLANET Z When Freddy doesn’t understand something, he’ll ask to slow things down a little. I don’t see how slowing things down will make it easy for Freddy to understand. If something is really complex, maybe he should be asking to dumb things down a little. Or, in Freddy’s case, dumb things down a lot. The problem is that there are some things too complicated to dumb down and simplify. That’s when Freddy gets this glassy look on his face. I’ve made the process of dumbing things down too complicated for him. So, I stop, take a moment, and start again slower.

The topic of the next weekly challenge is Too Much

  • 15 days ago

Hi there. This is Laurence Simon of the 100 Word Stories Podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. Every week, I post a topic for the Weekly Challenge, where you come up with the stories and I collect them up and share them. Want to give it a try? The topic of the next 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge is Too Much: Write a 100 word story on that topic. Then, send it in an email to isfullofcrap (at) gmail.com with the subject line of WEEKLY CHALLENGE. Do you have a website where people can learn more about you and your writing? Include the URL to that website. Also, suggest a topic or topics for future Weekly Challenges. Most importantly, include a recording of your story. Be sure to introduce yourself to the audience. I put the episode together on Sunday morning. However, if you need more time, I can put your story up on the feed in a separate post. Good luck, and as always… keep it brief. http://oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/thenexttopicisTOOMUCH.mp3 NOV 25 Don’t I feel stupid… DEC 2 Too much DEC 8 Polar DEC 16 Belt DEC 23 Irritation DEC 30 PICK TWO Reflect Pounce Gymnastics Obsolete Engage Girls Easier And for 2019… JAN 6 corner JAN 13 adult JAN 20 jam JAN 27 PICK TWO judge delivery your lion unicorn cherry Incense FEB 3 transmission FEB 10 mug FEB 17 sharp FEB 24 PICK TWO bob stitch eaten pittance delete trumpet Ticket MAR 3 wordy MAR 10 kill MAR 17 why can’t you be more like your sister? MAR 24 confluence MAR 31 PICK TWO standard blinding blithering pony sparkle amuse Fire APR 7 emotive APR 14 charge APR 21 potato chips APR 28 PICK TWO hire heart attack strip weaponize fink nancy Bumbling MAY 5 jack MAY 12 slurp MAY 19 zone MAY 26 PICK TWO stunted growth bath passive pelt atmosphere nameless Tendency JUN 2 surrounded JUN 9 losing JUN 16 logic JUN 23 plot JUN 30 PICK TWO reason discretion zone stunt simple deadwood Tuba JUL 7 current JUN 14 devotion JUL 21 peer JUL 28 PICK TWO alligator bath vindictive caterwaul mildred bruises That’s Life AUG 4 speed AUG 11 lady AUG 18 partners AUG 25 PICK TWO German in the darkness… vehicle halfway cute color-coded Pan SEP 1 furrow SEP 8 dresser SEP 15 void SEP 22 net SEP 29 PICK TWO void intertwine den get fudged meltdown Tan OCT 6 smutty OCT 13 sturdy OCT 20 tool OCT 27 PICK TWO saucy holidays turtle boom cluster chainsaw Breast NOV 3 boom NOV 10 who cares? NOV 17 option NOV 24 PICK TWO panel acid blaine current coma stink Taste DEC 1 sassy DEC 8 the F word DEC 15 broken DEC 22 throne DEC 29 PICK TWO probiotic seventh fletch brown manilla envelope mention that’s what she said… Support

Sally’s Bad Day

  • 15 days ago

Sally was born on Christmas, so she felt like she was cheated out of two days of presents. She never had a big birthday party because all of her friends were out celebrating Christmas. “We’re Jewish, Sally,” said her mother. “We don’t celebrate Christmas.” “But my friends do,” said Sally. “So they can’t come to a party. I’m stuck here with you and dad, and it sucks.” Sally’s parents sent her to her room without dinner. They’d forgotten to get a cake, Sally’s mom was a lousy baker, and, anyway, all of the stores were closed for Christmas, so there.

Black Friday

  • 16 days ago

The bigger the ads for Black Friday, the lamer the deals, and the bigger the fights over them. It used to be a shopping rush for the first sales of the holidays. Now, places mark up their prices or delay their discounts until the Friday after Thanksgiving. Then came pre-Black Friday discounts, previews, early access, and so on. A constant state of war erupted in the mall. Meanwhile, employees snatched up the three laptops that were on sale, hidden under the counter while they kept telling customers: “Sorry, but we’re all out. Would you like to buy something else instead?”

Decisions, decisions

  • 17 days ago

Doctor Odd always makes the right decision. He also makes the wrong decisions. He makes every decision imaginable, then he observes the consequences of each decision from his quantum state time displacement chair. Once he determines the decision with best result, he stays in that timeline. What happens to the other suboptimal timelines? The Doctor Odd in those timelines try to shift quantum states into the “good” decision universe. Because of a near-infinite number of quantum state universes, the “good” universe is overwhelmed quickly. This is why Doctor Odd destroys the other universes, and his unlucky dopplegangers stranded in them.

Home is where the heart is

  • 18 days ago

Home is where the heart is, but what if you’re Barney Clark, the first long-term human recipient of a mechanical heart pump? Is it where your excised dead organ has been stored, awaiting your demise so you can be buried with it? Or is it where your mechanical heart resides, in your chest. Because if you look at the schematics of the Jarvik-7 model of mechanical heart, you’ll see a set of short cables and tubes connected to a base station. Barney wasn’t going anywhere far any time soon. Until, of course, he died, and then went to the cemetery.

Apology extraction

  • 19 days ago

When you want an apology from someone, you can ask, but it’s easier to extract an apology with a professional-grade extraction tool. Then, you can test how genuine that apology is with rigorous scientific tests. If the apology is genuine, you can bottle it and store it on your shelf, or put it in your trophy case. If the apology is disingenuine, then you need to use your apology extraction tool with more force, skill, or finesse. Brandish your tool menacingly. Shake it in their face. Cackle a bit. Maybe lunge at them once or twice. You’ll get your apology.

Post It Tattoos

  • 20 days ago

I have post-its on my monitors like Leonard Shelby in Memento has tattoos. Keep it brief. Nobody wants your ideas. I’ll get back to you on that. Do not trust. Make a list and stick to it. Don’t take the bait. It’s only a job. Not my problem. Go ask the boss. They’re not your friends. Years of fighting, years of abuse. Years of being put down. These are the scars across my career. These are the echoes in my head. These are the warning signs on the barrier that keep me from jumping over the edge and into oblivion.

Weekly Challenge #657 – PICK TWO Bubbling Saffron Lime Axial Repetition Can Spaceship

  • 22 days ago

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic. We’ve got stories by: Eva Richard Lizzie Tom Jon Serendipity Norval Joe Planet Z EVA The Story of Is There was a beauty that radiated about her, penetrating the most solid of walls, the most bitter of men. I watched through impenetrable glass as the breeze lifted her hair, skin luminescent. I press a hand to my own. Cold. Lifeless. Gray. The way of our worlds. Light and dark. Mine, devoid of life, of beauty. Of purpose. I sigh, gazing, as she plucks a flower and tucks it behind her ear. This is the the divide, the unalterable conclusion. What is will be, what was will be no more. I am is. She is was, and someday will be…me. RICHARD Life? ‘Is this what my life has come to?’ I wondered, emptying the can of soup into the pan, and waiting for it to come to a bubbling heat. I’d once had dreams and ambitions, goals to achieve and challenges to meet, but somewhere along the way, the daily grind took over. Travelling the world, pushing my limits and living the dream somehow became less of a priority than paying the bills, putting out the bins and trying not to run out of milk. They never warn you about this when you’re a kid. And the soup’s not that good either. LIZZIE The Crow and the Spaceship The crow muttered a few words. No one could understand him. He looked up and everyone mimicked him. They couldn’t see anything. The crow flapped his wings. His nervousness was increasing. Then, they saw it. It was blinding. It tinted the whole sky with an overwhelming tone of orange. “What is that?” “That, you idiots, is your end.” They did understand the crow this time, but they stood there mesmerized, watching the spaceship fly over them, again and again. It didn’t feel like the end. The talking crow took off and hid. They… they were never seen again. TOM Between a Rock and Hard Place Bennie pulled back hard on the inertia damper. The Red Turtle dropped into the gravity well between Seti Alpha 5 and Drake’s debris field. Navigator Strobeck point out that if they didn’t pull a sufficient Z maneuver they’d likely end up fried by the dwarf binary suns of the Dawson cluster. Captain Winslow gave the order to engage the Repetition Drive. The spaceship commenced a near infinite series of braking actions. When the Turtle had finally come to a rest, they were orbiting between the suns. “Captain,” said Bennie noting the read out on the chronometer, “We overshot two millenniums.” JON But I Had That for Lunch! By Jon DeCles The axial rotation of the spaceship meant that they had gravity of a sort, but they suffered from Repetition Disorder, which had been discovered first back on Earth by examining psychotics who had got that way from watching re-runs of “I Love Lucy.” The spaceship simulated day and night easily enough, but the seasons were harder, as seasons are pretty specific to the distance you live from the equator. The mission was countering the disorder with culinary adventures to keep the awareness fresh. Hildemare sniffed and looked at the can, detecting both lime and saffron in the bubbling soupy stuff. SERENDIPITY People come from far and wide to visit my delicatessen, lured by my speciality black pudding. It’s won prizes and accolades, and although it’s pretty expensive, you’d be amazed what foodies will pay for something of the quality that I make. I’ve been asked many times to divulge my secret ingredient… “Is it saffron?” a customer will say as the inhale the rich, heady aroma from the freshly sliced sausage. Another will take a guess… “It’s lime juice, I just know it is” There’s no fancy ingredients in it. Just blood and seasoning: Rich, thick blood… Of the human variety. NORVAL JOE Billbert walked home from Linolimanda’s birthday party, new emotions bubbling up inside him from her unexpected kisses. The first kiss was surprising enough, but with the second repetition he was over the moon without a spaceship. Of course, the weird part was how her father acted when she told him they’d been kissing. He looked like it bothered him, but that it was alright. Bilbert planned on asking Linolimanda at school on Monday if he can come over again. He was sure she would want to fly again. That would be fine with Billbert, if they could kiss again, too. PLANET Z Hector saw strange lights out in the cornfield, so he picked up his shotgun and flashlight. It took a few flicks of the switch and a bit of shaking, but the flashlight came on, and Hector walked out into the field. A bubbling, glowing orange slime lay in the middle of a clearing. Hector walked back to his house, called the authorities, and packed a suitcase. Leaving a note on the front door, he then drove to a hotel and got a room and waited for the authorities to tell him when it would be safe go to back home.

The topic of the next weekly challenge is Don’t I feel stupid…

  • 22 days ago

Hi there. This is Laurence Simon of the 100 Word Stories Podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com. Every week, I post a topic for the Weekly Challenge, where you come up with the stories and I collect them up and share them. Want to give it a try? The topic of the next 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge is Don’t I feel stupid…: Write a 100 word story on that topic. Then, send it in an email to isfullofcrap (at) gmail.com with the subject line of WEEKLY CHALLENGE. Do you have a website where people can learn more about you and your writing? Include the URL to that website. Also, suggest a topic or topics for future Weekly Challenges. Most importantly, include a recording of your story. Be sure to introduce yourself to the audience. I put the episode together on Sunday morning. However, if you need more time, I can put your story up on the feed in a separate post. Good luck, and as always… keep it brief. http://oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/thenexttopicisdontifeelstupid.mp3 NOV 25 Don’t I feel stupid… DEC 2 Too much DEC 8 Polar DEC 16 Belt DEC 23 Irritation DEC 30 PICK TWO Reflect Pounce Gymnastics Obsolete Engage Girls Easier And for 2019… JAN 6 corner JAN 13 adult JAN 20 jam JAN 27 PICK TWO judge delivery your lion unicorn cherry Incense FEB 3 transmission FEB 10 mug FEB 17 sharp FEB 24 PICK TWO bob stitch eaten pittance delete trumpet Ticket MAR 3 wordy MAR 10 kill MAR 17 why can’t you be more like your sister? MAR 24 confluence MAR 31 PICK TWO standard blinding blithering pony sparkle amuse Fire APR 7 emotive APR 14 charge APR 21 potato chips APR 28 PICK TWO hire heart attack strip weaponize fink nancy Bumbling MAY 5 jack MAY 12 slurp MAY 19 zone MAY 26 PICK TWO stunted growth bath passive pelt atmosphere nameless Tendency JUN 2 surrounded JUN 9 losing JUN 16 logic JUN 23 plot JUN 30 PICK TWO reason discretion zone stunt simple deadwood Tuba JUL 7 current JUN 14 devotion JUL 21 peer JUL 28 PICK TWO alligator bath vindictive caterwaul mildred bruises That’s Life AUG 4 speed AUG 11 lady AUG 18 partners AUG 25 PICK TWO German in the darkness… vehicle halfway cute color-coded Pan SEP 1 furrow SEP 8 dresser SEP 15 void SEP 22 net SEP 29 PICK TWO void intertwine den get fudged meltdown Tan OCT 6 smutty OCT 13 sturdy OCT 20 tool OCT 27 PICK TWO saucy holidays turtle boom cluster chainsaw Breast NOV 3 boom NOV 10 who cares? NOV 17 option NOV 24 PICK TWO panel acid blaine current coma stink Taste DEC 1 sassy DEC 8 the F word DEC 15 broken DEC 22 throne DEC 29 PICK TWO probiotic seventh fletch brown manilla envelope mention that’s what she said… Support

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