Ted’s parents didn’t believe in the Boy Scouts.
So, when Ted was older and on his own, he got into scouting.
He learned how to identify all kinds of plants.
And he learned how to tie knots and start fires.
The Scouts didn’t recognize him, but Ted knew he’d done well.
He bought a bunch of sashes on eBay, tore out the stitching, and collected his badges that way.
Proudly wearing his full sash, he stood on his chair, tossed a rope over the crossbeam, and tied it off on the banister.
The knots all held his full body weight.