In Episode 18: We discuss why it could be a bad idea to ask Melania Trump to decorate your tree and ask - should football be banned at Christmas? Also, why does tofu taste so nasty when ‘Lefty Guardian readers’ are supposed to love it? And what does ‘woke’ actually mean?  We feature the new Die Hard Christmas movie, Winter of Discontent, starring Sushi Fishsnack as a hard-bitten UK prime minister. Can he prevail over the nurses, train drivers, and post-office strikers who want to blow up the economy or is it all an ERG / Putin plot? Finally, Mike Britton on protecting your home from pesky carol singers. All this, plus Suela Braverman’s tips for refugees who want to keep warm this winter: move to Rwanda.

WARNING: The Takeout podcast is the ‘woke mind-virus’ of satirical comedy and does contain some adult content.