One reason Australia was colonised was that in the 1760s the world's scientists wanted to record the planet Venus crossing the face of the Sun. This effort would finally answer the question, how far is the Earth from the centre of the Solar System? In 1761 these astronomers failed miserably at this task  - and this is their tragic, sometimes hilarious story.Their failure forced a much greater effort in 1769 - leading to Cook landing at Botany Bay.We will also explore why the planet Venus is a tragic planet, and how an Australian explorer bought the Venus de Milo.