It's important to understand the internal dialog of your prospect so you can effectively communicate with them. You must show and feel empathy. You must use language that lets them know they are heard and understood. You cannot interject your language if it is not congruent with their reality. Pacing verbal communication strongly influences the depth of rapport you establish with another person Pacing volume is also a useful tactic. Someone who speaks softly will appreciate someone else who speaks softly. Likewise someone who speaks loudly will often have more respect for you and will recognize a kindred spirit if you match their volume. As a matter of fact , on occasion you might even want to exceed the others’ volume to get them to speak more softly. By giving somebody a reflection of themselves and even exaggerating that reflection somewhat you can often cause them to modify their behavior. Some people find that they can control others by going out of control, they exploit the predictable behavior of those around them. The plan to go out of control in such a way that other people will acquiesce and placate Children may learn to scream and throw temper tantrums in order to control other people. If you pace that behavior by also throwing a tantrum (not at the child, but with the child) a miraculous and amusing calm can set in. The child’s astonishment can then give way to humor and the act is broken. The message to remember is –If you want to change someone else’s behavior, the best approach is to change your own. The resulting change in the system will often prompt the other person to change themselves in order to re-establish the balance and the illusion of control.     The Entrepreneur Show hosted by John Spencer Ellis. Topics include business, marketing, branding, PR, publicity, SEO, social media, lifestyle design, wealth creation, flow state, brain training, online course design, education and success for entrepreneurs in all industries. Learn how to work less, earn more, and have more fun while you help your customers.