Often we hear the phrase, "preparing for difficult conversations" and we interpret that to mean that we want to plan for every eventuality.

• What you should say if someone says this, or that,
• How you plan to respond if they say the thing that usually triggers you
• We plan out examples of their past behaviours that 'prove' we are right

We practice the conversations over and over again in our mind, thinking that we are 'preparing' for the discussion however, when we do this, we are at risk of shutting down any opportunity for growth, insights, or learning from the other individual.

By trying to prepare our scripts, we forget to prepare for the
emotional capacity needed to have an authentic conversation.

We regret saying something we shouldn't have because we let our emotions get the best of us and slipped back into a patter of over-reaction.

We end up with situations that have us going over the interaction in our minds and saying things like, "ugh why did I say that!? I should have said THIS instead!"

Our recommendation is to prepare yourself emotionally for the conversation, and avoid the feedback loops that we all create, instead!

This way we can leave the mean out of the message.

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