Oren Jay Sofer leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication and meditation at retreat centers and educational facilities around the United States.  He is the founder of Next Step Dharma and Mindful Healthcare and he holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University. In this episode, he and Eric discuss his new book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. In it, you’ll learn an updated model on how to skillfully communicate – especially in difficult situations. Practical strategies and helpful perspectives are what you’ll get in this episode. 

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In This Interview, Oren Jay Sofer and I Discuss…

• His book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication
• That we’re not stuck, our minds can learn and it depends on the choices we make moment to moment
• The three steps to create effective conversation
• Lead with Presence
• Come from Curiosity and Care
• Focus on What Matters
• How most people live with fragmented attention and it takes training to be fully present with another person
• That you can feel whether a person is fully present with you or not
• Bringing awareness and attention to the body to come into the present moment (the body is always in the present moment)
• Bodily sensations happen in the present moment
• The power of pausing
• How our rate of speech is connected to our nervous system
• That when we are present, we have a lot more choices
• That our intention shapes our verbal and non-verbal communications
• The intention to understand
• The intention of kindness and care
• How you can practice kindness to someone you don’t like
• Kindness can be about protecting your own heart
• The phrase “Let me see if I’ve got it…”
• Listening for what matters to the other person – what do they need?
• The difference between needs and strategies
• The Nonviolent Communication Model
• Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests
• Communicating in the workplace

Oren Jay Sofer Links

OrenJaySofer.com

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