A lot of important things happen in this chapter, but also, Minerva McGonagall leads a flock of Hogwarts desk into battle. Awesome. This week, The Golden Trio stick to a plan; LoVo should fire his advance team; Draco’s mommy wuvs him; and we bi

Ep. 101—No Time to Diadem

Dec 8th, 2021 1h 46m

Fred Weasley was dead, to begin with. Sorry, we just had to remind you exactly what you’re getting into with this episode. But don’t worry! There’s also hellfire! And murder! And toxic workplaces! And snogging! And impossible moral conundrums!

Ep. 100—Wizardry, Equality, Fraternity

Oct 6th, 2021 1h 24m

Five years, 100 episodes, every single conceivable permutation of the f-word, and a 45-minute summary of a pretty throwaway chapter. Welcome back, witches! Sorry we wrote that. Anyway, this week, some classic Rowling quirks rear their fat pig h

Ep. 99—Hog's Head Revisited

Sep 6th, 2021 1h 24m

Can we get away with not acknowledging that this is our first episode since February? No, huh? Don’t worry, there’s an explanation at the beginning, but mostly this is just a long, unhinged summary with digressions into wizard bathroom habits (

Ep. 98—Dumbles Dore (like Attorneys General)

Feb 9th, 2021 1h 1m

Pretty annoying to meet the best character in the final act of the final book, but that's the hand we're dealt with G.O.A.T. Aberforth Dumbledore. This week: Ron's hunger makes him stupid(er), we miss dive bars immensely, and a terrible family

Advent Calendar Final Night—A Visit from an Obscure Greek Saint

Dec 25th, 2020 34m 23s

And to all a good night! This is just us reading aloud to you and cracking wise. Plus an alarming amount of doctrinal history. Because you know you've always wanted to hear us talk about Trinitarians versus the Arian Heresy.

Advent Calendar Week 3—Midnight Sleigh to Candy Town

Dec 24th, 2020 1h

Ever wonder what it sounds like when someone who has basically never danced "summarizes" a ballet? Wonder no more, because this week we watched the New York City Ballet's streaming production of The Nutcracker! So naturally we talk about ghosts

Advent Calendar Week 2—Yosemite Clementine

Dec 19th, 2020 1h 18m

This one's a bit delayed, as it was something of an emotional gauntlet to edit (you'll hear why in the latter half. Be warned.) We watched the stop-motion Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer TV special and A Charlie Brown Christmas, and we loved one

Advent Calendar Week 1—How the Grinch Stole Everything

Dec 5th, 2020 50m 30s

Spend this very strange holiday season with us, quibbling about the Christmas classics that make us merry and/or cause us to cringe. First up, the ultimate tale of holiday alienation and a master class in Committing to the Bit: The Grinch! Yule

Ep. 97—There's Some Horcruxes in This House

Dec 3rd, 2020 1h 20m

This is an 80 minute episode about a 17 minute chapter. The summary is twice the length of the chapter itself. You. Are. Welcome! This week: Heather tells an unfollowable anecdote about animal actors; Alex and Heather both mangle explanations o

Ep. 96—Pavlov's Dragon

Nov 24th, 2020 1h 10m

A truly vintage episode in which we actually just quibble for an hour. For example: Do wizards think banks and mines are the same thing? Has Ron seen Borat? If goblins have this extremely handy Thief's Downfall thing for detecting bank robbers,

The Nibbler 5—Live Free or Twi-hard

Oct 31st, 2020 2h 10m

It's the spookiest Halloween in a long, long, long time, so we're rewarding (?) you all with a long, long, LONG final episode of The Nibbler. Seriously this thing is gargantuan. What did we even talk about? Dust motes? Child brides? Eternal sle

Ep. 95—Gender Revelio!

Oct 27th, 2020 1h 15m

The One Where We Alienate Most of our Remaining Listeners Who Still Like Harry Potter. Kidding-ish, but this is the first one recorded post-Rowling screed(s), so yeah, we get into it a bit. Also, some of Bill's best friends are goblins, heteros

Movie Mini 7—Creature Feature Creep

Sep 23rd, 2020 1h 18m

We very irrationally still call these "minis," but at any rate, let's ease back into the Potterverse by discussing the surprisingly fun—considering all the death, despair, camping, etc.—first installment of the Deathly Hallows films! This week,

Ep. 94—Large Elder Wand Collider

Jul 5th, 2020 1h 29m

OK, so we're (still) doing this. We recorded before a lot of real-world shit went down, which is just the way of things these days, but we still managed to talk about Ibram X. Kendi and class warfare. Very on-brand. Also this week, Ron eulogize

Summary Supercut: Sorcerer's Stone

Jun 10th, 2020 14m 38s

As promised, and because you gorgeous people raised THOUSANDS of dollars in the last 2 weeks for bail funds, criminal justice reform, affordable legal services, community health organizations, local and national Black Lives Matter affiliates, a

Ep. 93—Fenrir Payback

May 12th, 2020 1h 44m

In which we finally and totally dispense with the notion that these are chapter "summaries." So much Manor action, so little time! This week, Fenrir stirs up some stereotypes, Bellatrix has a "cool girl villain" accessory, Death Eater Nation is

Quibbler After Hours: Mr. Lupin's Opus

May 6th, 2020 41m 45s

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week! Let's talk teachers. Why are the best lessons in the entire series taught by a supervillain? Why does Hagrid get to just like, introduce monsters and see what happens? Why doesn't everyone have to take arithmenc

Ep. 92—Pod Save the Wizarding World

Apr 16th, 2020 44m 10s

This episode is a lot of us patting ourselves on the back about how good podcasts are. Not ours, necessarily; mostly Lee Jordan's. We would for sure listen to his podcast. This week, Hermione gets an iota of the credit she's due; Harry has hall

Ep. 91—Hallows Be Thy Name

Mar 20th, 2020 1h 9m

Podcasting in the time of pestilence … hope you're all hanging in there and prepared to use some of your potentially ample alone time to TALK ABOUT DEATH. Sorry, the timing of this one is weird, but yeah, it's a lot about death. And what shoes

Ep. 90—Chekhov's Erumpent Horn

Mar 3rd, 2020 47m 27s

If a crumple-horn snorcack appears in the first act … well, you know the drill. This week, Potter Productivity becomes a thing; so does #Rontent; Hermione reads in bed and that's an actual scene in this book, like a whole page of that; Xenophil

Ep. 89—Deer Is Headlights

Feb 7th, 2020 55m 19s

Ron is back! Hurray, we guess? Nah, it's good to have him around for rage fodder if nothing else. This week: Harry has learned nothing from Snake Corpse; nobody knows what Stan Shunpike looks like; Ron, admittedly, performs an act of daring and

Ep. 88—The Monster Book of Twitter Monsters

Jan 17th, 2020 1h 17m

Skip to 37:00 if you don't want to listen to us talk about being social justice warriors. Seriously, don't say we didn't warn you. This week, the tweet heard 'round the world, Harry's boulevard of broken nonsense Dumbledore gave him, the vagari

Muppet Mini: Marley & Marley & Cratchit & Scrooge & Rizzo

Dec 25th, 2019 37m 59s

We barely scratched the surface of this shining paragon of filmmaking (The Muppet Christmas Carol), but here's a little holiday treat that has little to do with Harry Potter. Don't worry, though—we do sort the Muppets. Plus, the joys of strange

Ep. 87—Weekend at Bathilda's

Dec 16th, 2019 1h 9m

In a book full of horrors, we have come to the most horrifying of them all: Snake Corpse. Like Cat Wife, but well, the {Jean Ralphio voice} wooooorst. This week, a snake lives inside a corpse. That’s it. That’s what happens. Also we have a trul