It's Animorphs book 49, The Diversion, & we're so enthralled by it that we don't even take note of the episode number.In addition to changing the whole dang status quo, we discuss: More Blood Pokemon!, Being The Only One On The Way To Work Who

Jellyfish Are Like Not Super Into Politics

Jan 18th, 2021 1h 10m

This was recorded just after our last episode came out four months ago. We have good intentions & I, personally, am doing something close to my best, thank you! Appropriately, it's book 48: The Return.In addition to rat monarchy, we discuss: I

Oh Yeah! Uncles!

Sep 4th, 2020 50m 4s

The six months between recording and posting this episode is a reference to the time travel in the book! Don't think about it too hard! We read book 47: The Resistance, which is about a real life war, unfortunately!!In addition to being xtreem

Somehow In My Heart I Knew It Was Going To Be Weed Related

Mar 2nd, 2020 57m 12s

It sucks trying to capture that jaunty episode description tone when the book is just so sad. This book is so sad and so full of trauma and I don’t know how to do any sort of exclamation point about it or anything. We read Animorphs 46: The Dec

I'm Gonna Google Snoopy; You Guys Do Whatever You Wanna Do

Feb 9th, 2020 1h 2m

ive been soooooo sick its late & i didnt put the theme music in & im not gonna put the theme music in & im not writing a description & im not sorry. be nice to me. IT’S ANIMORPHS BOOK 45: THE REVELATION & SPOILER THE TITLE IS REFERRING TO U REA

Someone Walked Out Of Plato's Allegorical Cave & Was Told To Draw A Catgirl

Jan 24th, 2020 56m 35s

About forty minutes into this episode, one of the hosts just sort of starts photoshopping pictures of kangaroos and dropping them into the groupchat. That’s the energy we’re bringing to the analysis. It’s Animorphs book 44, The Unexpected, and

The Cycle Of Coffee Headcanons Ends With Us

Jan 10th, 2020 1h 23m

Y’all… we are in the home stretch now, and it shows. It’s book 43: The Test, and we’re spending time with Taylor the terrible torturer & being tender about Tobias’ trauma. Totally. Taxing talk.In addition to the counteracting of jingoist propag

The Dial-Up Internet Of Vegetarianism

Dec 23rd, 2019 56m 47s

We’re using this podcast to climb directly into your ears to go on a Fantastic Voyage through your blood. Sowwy!! While we’re on our vein hike, let’s talk about Animorphs book 42: The Journey.In addition to following some kids through another k

Will The Real Slim Goodbody Please Stand Up

Dec 6th, 2019 1h 20m

Returning to the studio after a few months with Animorphs book forty-one, The Familiar, where actually… nothing is very familiar. Think of who you were at age fifteen and come on this journey with us.In addition to being generally befuddled, we

The Vriska Of Animorphs

Nov 21st, 2019 1h 19m

Welcome to our wonderful life diving into the classic “what if something had never happened” trope with the fourth & final Megamorphs! Join us as we watch Cassie become unstuck in time, hear Marco and Rachel grow closer together, and see the li

I Don't Give A Shit; Extradite Me

Sep 8th, 2019 1h 2m

Andalites? Disguised as human? On my Earth? It’s more likely than you think. This week, we meet some other refugees from the Andalite army, and learn a very important if kinda hamfisted lesson about ableism from Animorphs book 40: The Other!CW:

President Trash Boy

Aug 23rd, 2019 1h 5m

It’s time for a Cassie book, which means it’s time to settle down, open ourselves up to our more pacifist tendencies, and marvel at the Cronenberg-esque abomination that is an ant poorly attempting to morph into a human being. And also there’s

It's Like Sex Ed But Forever And War

Jul 10th, 2019 1h 16m

Crumph crumph: the sound of a book written in the 90s trying to deal with gender. It’s Animorphs book 38, The Arrival, which means it’s time to discuss our various mouth pleasures. Mine is just saying “crumph crumph”!Referenced media: Millennia

Some Houses Go, But Again, Not Particularly Fast

Jun 27th, 2019 59m 47s

No controllers on this podcast! Only human beings who love the human character Rachel. She is strong, she is real, and she is our friend. It’s Animorphs book 37, The Weakness, and we’re considerably more excited about Visser 3’s fantastically s

Put Ya Dick in Some Wires

Jun 8th, 2019 1h 9m

Whew! That was a real tough battle, but Sara managed to get out of Canada alive! Unfortunately, we had to leave Satah behind for a little bit to fend off the oncoming Yeerk horde. Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be fine. In the meantime, we took

Because Of Her Tendency To Commit Treason Immediately

May 10th, 2019 1h 22m

In the longest episode yet, we somehow stay completely on-topic. In our defense, there’s a lot going on. It’s a seasonally appropriate Animorphs special today as we discuss the book Visser. No, not the monologuing himbo; the other one. Oh shit.

Some People Irony Poison To Cope

Apr 26th, 2019 1h 20m

Cancel culture is when six teenagers with alien technology come together to try to get you to freak out over some cockroaches in your salad. Sometimes, the natural state of two lifebeings interacting is fear. These are just quotes from Blair I

Motherfuckers Going To The Moon In A Paper Airplane

Apr 12th, 2019 1h 15m

We read Animorphs book 34, The Prophecy. That’s all I’m writing about the episode this week, cuz I’m tired. Take that, George Lucas!In addition to loving body sharing tropes, we espouse opinions on: Doggie Video Is Here To Stay, I Have To Fight

Humans Have The Capacity To Create New Snacks; Dogs Are Beholden To The Snacks Available To Them

Mar 29th, 2019 1h 12m

One of us is knocked out with the flu, so it’s up to the remaining two to try not to get knocked out by Feelings. Someone please SOS (Save Our Son). It’s Animorphs book 33, The Illusion, and it’s time to settle once and for all whether dogs hav

Orange Julius Is The Illuminati

Mar 15th, 2019 1h 9m

If you see a less caffeinated version of this episode walking around, let us know so we can join forces. Until then, let me introduce you to the evil (?) twin: a full hour of someone audibly using a fidget spinner kicked off by someone else say

Beatrix Potter Characters Don't Real; Cryptids Might Real

Mar 5th, 2019 1h 3m

It’s a sleepy pod, baby! Cuddle on in for some relaxing bedtime discussion of Animorphs book thirty-one, The Conspiracy. Note: in this case, we assume that you prefer your lullabies to be full of children experiencing trauma.In addition to pare

We Should Talk About Something That's Not Rivers

Feb 24th, 2019 1h 11m

This is not a Frozen podcast… or is it? Whatever; it’s gay children with dead parents, magic powers, and tons of trauma from top to bottom as we tackle Animorphs book thirty, The Reunion. Do you wanna break a Yeerk pool? C’mon let’s go and play

I'd Like To Go On Record As Saying George Washington Is Not My Daddy

Feb 1st, 2019 56m 19s

It’s about that TIME to figure out if you can keep a SECRET. Elfangor’s secret! In honour of this episode being shorter than usual, so is the amount of effort I’m going to spend on this description. If you hate it so much, why not go kill my go

Okay, I'm Going To Do A Naruto

Jan 18th, 2019 1h 11m

Just because someone is absolutely one hundred percent guaranteed by the stars to kill one of your co-hosts is no reason not to stan. It’s a Cassie book, which means a lot of fumbling through trying to process the philosophical core of the Anim

Wait. You Guys. Andalite Vampires Would Kick You

Jan 4th, 2019 1h 11m

A heart-wrenching book about animal experimentation and factory farming somehow results in an episode that gets randy’n’rowdy by the middle of the intro. Don’t ask us how, but the energy just goes up from there. It’s Animorphs book 28, The Expe