Christian found a fantastic parking spot opposite the church at his nephew’s christening but isn’t sure whether the spot should be reserved for immediate family. Dion quickly finds a parallel to another moment Christian found a premium parking

Patch #125 - Do You Confidently Slice Food In Half?

24 days ago 43m 11s

Christian has finally found the elderly neighbours he’s been looking for and, typically, they came in the form of a bowl of tomatoes. Dion questions the neighbours' motives and warns Christian by recounting the parable of his neighbour in sheep

Patch #124 - How Should You Subtly Glance At Someone?

Mar 19th, 2024 41m 15s

Ohhhhh wow! We're back from 7 months off and we're out of practice. We kick off by recalling a micro highlight from our trips abroad: Christian visited a Christian themed amusement park, Dion visited a capybara themed amusement park for ducks a

Goodbye...for now

Aug 1st, 2023 2m 21s

Dearest Patchworkers, we're taking a bit of a break. Christian is doing some extended travel so there won't be regular releases for pretty much the rest of the year.We can't thank you enough for your support over the last 6 years. Looking forw

Patch #123 - How Should You Kill Time At A Chemist?

Jul 18th, 2023 46m 12s

Christian receives a mysterious hand gesture from a concerned citizen but manages to decipher it. We also ponder the age old question - what's the difference between 'tips' and 'advice'? Christian's psych definitely got it wrong when asked abo

Patch #122 - Is It Rude To Text Someone During A Speech?

Jul 4th, 2023 41m 18s

Christian questions whether Josh can sell his abandoned basketball for profit. He's simply a man looking for answers. Josh's comedy group Game Boys won a freakin Green Room Award! So we discuss what genuine surprises we still have in life and

Patch #121 - Are You Easily Embarrassed In Public?

Jun 20th, 2023 43m 12s

Christian and Josh open this episode with a rather frank discussion about the many hairstyles of the artist P!NK. We explore the unspoken bravery of dying her hair blonde and her notoriety in Australia. Christian then finds a subtle way to tell

Patch #120 - Do You Shake Hands With Friends?

Jun 6th, 2023 43m 54s

Josh hosted another party and this time he's taking aim at those partygoers who take other people's drinks. Is it expected that the host will supply drinks? Should you be precious about the drinks you bring to a party? Dion then asks Christian

Patch #119 - Should You Wait For Others Before Eating?

May 23rd, 2023 40m 51s

We’re back, again! Jeez, we spend a lot time not recording this podcast. Anyway, you get what you’re given. If you want more, become a Patreon! This Patch opens with Dion telling us about his recent trip to Texas and a close call with a tornado

PatchGPT

May 10th, 2023 4m 49s

Prepare for an outrageous and side-splitting comedy experience in this special episode of our podcast! Brace yourself for a laughter-filled adventure as the entire episode has been crafted by the comedic genius of ChatGPT, the AI language model

Patch #118 - Do You Need Total Darkness To Fall Asleep?

Apr 4th, 2023 45m 55s

Open wide and come inside! For this Patch, we've each written a new catchphrase that we'll drop into the episode at an appropriate time (and by appropriate time, we mean somewhere in the first 10 minutes because we were all too excited to hold

Patch #117 - Do You Make New Plans After An Event Is Cancelled?

Mar 21st, 2023 42m 14s

Josh is woken up by the incessant banging of some tradesmen and Christian and Dion wonder whether this could be improving Josh's life. We then discuss why tradies need to start work so early?Christian then tells Josh and Dion about feeling rel

Patch #116 - How Much Finger Food Can You Take From A Tray?

Mar 7th, 2023 37m 21s

Josh calls out Dion for asking a friend to hotspot internet so he could top up his phone credit, Dion vehemently tries to defend himself by revealing that he actually purchased his sim card from a supermarket. It becomes clear that no one is ri

Patch #115 - How Do You Find The Toilet In A Restaurant?

Feb 21st, 2023 39m 5s

Christian kicks off this episode by wishing himself an early happy birthday and then asks Dion and Josh how they feel about receiving 'happy birthday' messages before their actual birthday. Does receiving an early birthday message change the se

Patch #114 - When Do You Save Someone As A Contact?

Feb 7th, 2023 35m 5s

We're back for Season 8 baby! To kick it all off, Christian takes aim at Josh for giving him 1 hour to confirm he was available for a catchup before making other plans.Josh tell us about his frustration at some unsaved numbers in a friendly Wh

Patch #113 - How To Handle The Heat

Jan 24th, 2023 38m 8s

As summer heats up (or you're listening to this in winter and have got the heater on really high), it's time we taught you how to beat the heat!We start by talking about the moment we 'know summer has arrived', the ozone layer and how we fixed

Patch #112 - How To Go Grocery Shopping

Dec 6th, 2022 39m 4s

Grab a handful of canvas bags and a gold coin because Welcome to Patchwork is teaching you how to go grocery shopping.What prompts you to go grocery shopping? How do you manage your shopping list? What's your shopping strategy once you step fo

Patch #111 - How To Recycle

Nov 22nd, 2022 39m 51s

In Patch 111, we rip the sticky tape off our cardboard packaging and chat all things recycling.We begin by asking ourselves why we recycle. Is it for the environment? Or is it to avoid the scorn of others? We explore why Josh goes through his

Patch #110 - How To Wait In A Line

Nov 8th, 2022 42m 58s

In Patch 110, we cloak our jackets, skip the queue and talk all things waiting in line.We start by exploring each of our first instincts when approaching a line. Josh establishes the core types of line: single, mess and multi-stream, whilst Ch

Patch #109 - How To Declutter Your Home

Oct 25th, 2022 41m 6s

In Patch 109, we roll around in the mud, feed from the trough and eventually discuss all things clutter and collectibles.We start by exploring how to best hide clutter in your very own home. Whether it's in piles, hidden in storage container

Patch #108 - How To Send A Text Message

Oct 11th, 2022 44m 34s

BUMP! In Patch 108, we make sure our phone credit is topped up as we step into the world of text messaging.Josh encourages Christian and Dion to become cryptographers as we try to text-spell famous abbreviations; we dissect swiping on a keyb

Patch #107 - How To Get Dressed For The Day

Sep 27th, 2022 35m 21s

From preparing the night before to cuffing your sleeves, Patch 107 covers the gamut of a morning dress up routine. Josh talks us through the first thing he does in the morning before putting on clothes; Christian explores the relationship betwe

Patch #106 - How To Enjoy A Flight

Sep 13th, 2022 34m 51s

Please keep your seatbelts fastened for Patch 106 as we teach you how to enjoy a flight!We start by covering what we pack in our carry on: Josh is obsessed with charging his devices, Dion has an interesting kind of neck pillow and Christian

Patch #105 - How To Choose A Restaurant

Aug 30th, 2022 36m 46s

We all enjoy eating at restaurants. But have you ever really thought about how or why we choose those restaurants? In this Patch, we dive into some of the key considerations that go into picking a restaurant. Are you swayed by spruikers throwin

Patch #104 - How To Open A Door

Aug 16th, 2022 48m 24s

We navigate the difficult questions and considerations around walking through doors. First door in our line of sight is the revolving door. After dissecting some of the nuances of entering one of the revolving door 'slices', we look at some of