My guest today is Liz O’Donnell, a wannabe mogul, busy working mom, and (sometimes) maid. She is the founder of Hello Ladies, an award-winning website for smart, busy women. It was named one of the Top 100 Websites for Women by Forbes. She has written the book, Mogul, Mom, and Maid, which looks at the choices, options, and the impact of women’s decisions on them, their families, and their careers. Let’s explore the following questions with Liz:
I signed up with a temp agency, thinking I would be doing office work. They stuck me at an Adult Day Health Center, which was NOT what I expected. I was so intimidated, working with the elderly people, but I ended up LOVING it!
My girlfriends and I get together occasionally for “Wine and Whine” sessions. A good friend was sharing about her busy mom schedule and her husband’s involvement and irritation when the house was messy. It occurred to me that women face these challenges with gender roles, juggling so many aspects of their lives. Even though, in my case, my husband stays home while I’m the breadwinner, I know that many women face the same struggles.
The key is that we all strive for something different and define success differently. The biggest mindblock to success is understanding that women have different ideals. Women do 67% more of the housework and childcare than men in the average home. Don’t compare yourself to others. Women also fall into the “We do it BEST” trap and don’t allow their husbands to do certain tasks. Also, women tend to assign superlatives to every action. We forget something and think, “Oh, I’m the WORST mom ever!” A dad can forget the same thing and thinks, “Oh, I forgot.”
Yes, that is absolutely a mindblock. We have to remember that the whole gender role shift is a relatively new thing that has occurred in recent years. Gender norms are ingrained in our heads based on how we grew up. We now have different roles than our parents did, but still feel the guilt and the pull when we aren’t the mothers that we grew up with.
I use the metaphor, “Put down the mop!” I mean that we should prioritize our lives over our laundry. We all want to be good wives, good moms, and good employees. What are the things that we do because we feel like we “should” be doing them? If we stop doing all those things, then it creates space to do other things that we WANT to do. Don’t compare yourself to others; get off social media!
Sometimes. Social media is a powerful tool that can lead to great business connections, relationships, and networking opportunities. It’s not all bad, but there are times to shut it down. A strategy I recommend is to define 3-5 non-negotiables that absolutely matter to me:
*Being home at least 3 nights/week with my family
*Finding time to write every week
*Making sure I do a great job at my PR firm
*Finding time to exercise enough to maintain my sanity
If I do these four things, then that’s a WIN. It’s my definition of success.
Absolutely. I have goals around my writing and career goals. My job has to be something that I say YES to.
Being a working mother means never having to say you’re sorry.
Never feeling guilty about providing for my family
Never feeling guilty for putting my family first
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