When I feel a strong emotion, my default go-to is to analyze the who, what, why's of the situation and try to understand what is causing it. I have gotten so used to doing shadow work, it has almost become my instinct to delve into what I am feeling before I have even had a chance to truly feel it. Shadow work has become some form of defense mechanism as I know that understanding and processing trauma is the road to heal it, I am trying to shortcut the negative emotions before they even arise. I think in some way, I am cheating myself from actually processing the trauma. Rushing to get through it and not allowing myself to feel how I feel or process what I am feeling and instead rushing to try and logic my way out of it.