My long lost series from the Gathering of the Juggalos from last August. To say that I've had a hard year creatively - would be an understatement. I think you all know how much I love podcasting. But the last couple years has been quite a rattling experience - and I wasn't able to figure out how to stay alive financially and support this little podcast of mine. When pandemic hit, I kept my apt...and went into hiding in California. Did I pay rent? Oh you bet I did not. Was my apartment way to expensive for me even with a job? YOU BETCHA.

I thought I would have some sort of miracle bail out from the government - and I was wrong...Eventually I owed my landlord enough money for him to break my knees in the olden days, and to fix this - I had to sell everything I had - and go seriously off the grid to rebuild my finances and had to take job after job that left me almost no extra resources to support my passion - of podcasting.

Not only that...but when I finally got my finances together and started really working again, I met the devil. Literally. High cheek bones, late fifties, head to toe covered in rhinestones, hair like rapunzel...and I fell in love...not romantically but with every single word that came out of this demons mouth.

Now, I do dangerous shit all the time while podcasting. I meet strangers, I invite them into my life and world, sit in dark corners and let the floodgates of their past pour over me. This time however, this is the time, my luck ran out.

I interviewed him three times, for over 6 hours, I thought this was going to be like my crowning achievement of truly enrapturing a life...turns out...he was a con artist, and a really scary on at that and the end of this left me and emotionally destroyed. I walk around with alot of trust in humans and in myself - and that my mothers white light will protect me from evil most of the time...well...after this experience I literally couldn't pick up my microphones for months or even look at the sound files.

HOWEVER - enough is enough - I've never been one to let fear guide my behavior for too long, and after one million beautiful moments of spontaneous human joy and kindness since, I am ready to try this ONE MORE TIME. cuz....fuck it. You know?

So here it is one of my lost moments in time - I'm not sure if I ever really left this festival. The Juggalos left a profound impact on my heart. THIS LITTLE CLOWN IS READY TO FUCKING GO.

Wherever you are I send you endless light and love and deep deep luck to get through whatever hardships you are experiencing.

LOVE ZOE

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