Episode Transcript
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0:00
Hey, it's Justin from Planet M. We're
0:02
doing something we've never done before. We're
0:04
sharing the series premiere of Desert Skies,
0:07
a quirky, comedic, and heartfelt sci-fi audio
0:09
fiction show about the life between this
0:12
world and the next that we think EOS
0:14
10 listeners will really enjoy. It's been celebrated
0:16
as one of Reddit's top audio fiction podcasts
0:18
of the year, and Desert Skies
0:20
has captured the hearts and imaginations of listeners
0:22
worldwide. So there's no better time for you
0:24
to jump in. The entire first
0:26
season is available now on their feed. There's a link
0:29
in the show notes, and the team behind the show
0:31
is hard at work on season two. Enjoy.
0:34
For the best listening experience,
0:36
headphones are recommended. Um,
1:29
if you don't mind waiting just
1:31
a moment while we get ready,
1:33
uh, we're actually
1:36
trying something new. I, uh,
1:39
we're formalizing our
1:41
process. So this is this is an
1:43
exciting time to be here. I've
1:45
actually written something up,
1:47
so I think it's I'm pretty
1:50
proud of it. It's it's cool.
1:52
Where am I? Please hold all
1:54
of your questions until the presentation
1:56
is complete. Everything will be answered
1:58
in time. Okay,
2:00
I think I'm ready. You
2:03
may approach the counter. Welcome
2:13
to Desert Skies, Traveler.
2:16
Your journey through the physical plane has
2:18
come to an end. But
2:21
we are so glad you're
2:25
here. And I know what
2:27
you're thinking. Where is here
2:29
exactly? I'll
2:32
do my best to explain. Desert
2:35
Skies Astral Plane Fuel and
2:37
Service Station exists on the
2:39
lowest sphere of existence between
2:42
life and death. Or
2:45
as we like to say around
2:47
here, between life and the next
2:49
life. You
2:51
have no more reason to
2:54
be afraid. No more
2:56
reason to fret, nor worry. Whatever
2:59
your needs, we are here
3:01
to help. My
3:04
colleague here is the mechanic, or
3:06
Mac for short. It
3:10
is his job to service your vehicle
3:12
in preparation for the journey
3:15
across the celestial spheres. I
3:19
am the attendant. Or Tindy for short.
3:21
I told you not to call me
3:23
that in front of the Traveler, Sawill.
3:25
I think it puts them at E.
3:27
I'm trying to create an error of
3:29
mystique. Yeah, well that's stupid. Yeah, well
3:32
nobody asked you. Um, what's
3:34
going on? Like
3:36
I said, I am the attendant. It
3:39
is my job to ensure you have
3:41
adequate provisions and are well instructed
3:44
in navigating the journey through
3:46
the celestial spheres. Now,
3:51
let me tell you about a selection of
3:53
products available and
3:55
any associated promotions. Wait
3:58
a second here. It's
6:00
our job to make sure you're prepared for the ride.
6:03
Uh-huh. And what if I don't
6:05
believe you? What if this
6:07
is all just some kind of sick dream, huh? Some
6:10
elaborate prank? Look, I
6:13
understand this experience can be
6:16
jarring. Especially
6:18
if your death was sudden
6:21
or unexpected. I
6:24
can't remember, but I probably went through the
6:26
same emotions you're experiencing right now. For the
6:28
sake of argument, let's say you're telling
6:30
me the truth. What's to
6:32
keep me from driving back the direction I
6:34
came from, huh? Hightailing it back
6:37
to my living room. No
6:39
pun intended. There's
6:41
nothing keeping you from that. I
6:44
mean, we can't stop you, but
6:47
I don't recommend it. Yeah, and why's that? Microwaveable
6:50
burritos. What? What
6:53
is that supposed to mean? I'll show you.
6:56
Come on, follow me. Our
7:01
microwaveable burritos selection. Currently, there
7:03
are 34 varieties. If
7:06
you drive back the way you came, there's gonna be
7:08
35. Here,
7:11
take a look at this package. What
7:13
do you see? It says,
7:15
Gutbuster brand microwaveable burritos. And
7:18
there's a face, lady with red
7:21
hair. Alice's Chicken
7:23
Alla King style. Read
7:25
the back. Okay.
7:30
This delicious microwaveable snack
7:32
is dedicated to Alice McDougall,
7:35
who attempted to return to the physical
7:37
realm and retrieve her beloved cat, Wallace.
7:41
We honor her brave effort.
7:43
What the hell is this? Just
7:45
keep reading. In accordance
7:48
with the governing rules of the
7:50
Astral Plane, the full essence of
7:52
this individual's existence, desires, purpose, and
7:55
romantic history has been meticulously crafted
7:58
into this artisan-style burrito. So, taste
8:01
the flavor of life. So
8:05
there's ground up lady in here? Uh,
8:08
no? God no,
8:10
that's disgusting. This
8:13
isn't her physically, it's the flavor
8:16
and texture of her existence. Which
8:19
apparently tastes like diced chicken in
8:21
a cream sauce. It's
8:24
actually pretty good. Congratulations
8:26
friend. I've heard some crazy
8:28
shit in my life but I've never heard anything
8:30
like that. But
8:34
you know, at
8:37
that I'd be chicken. Some kind
8:39
of chicken burrito. Why
8:41
do you say that? I saw it
8:43
on one of those placemats at a Chinese restaurant. I
8:45
was born in the year of the chicken. I
8:48
think you mean rooster. Really?
8:51
I always thought it was chicken. I
8:54
think I'd rather be a chicken than a cock. You
8:56
know? Oh
8:59
God, I need a cigarette. You
9:01
got those? Huh? A
9:03
brand that doesn't taste like devastating sadness or
9:06
contain the essence of someone's great grandma? Here,
9:08
have one of mine. Thank
9:11
God. Something I can actually use.
9:15
I know these things are awful for you. I'm
9:17
not sure you gotta worry about that anymore. Come
9:21
on buddy. Let's take a look at that car of
9:23
yours. That's the other thing. I don't even
9:25
own a car. Then boom, I'm
9:27
suddenly cruising down the highway in a
9:29
Buick Skylark. That's one hell of
9:31
a car. Sure, I'm not complaining. But
9:34
that's not my automobile. And
9:36
this isn't my beard's natural color. Yeah,
9:38
here we are. Come on,
9:41
let's get you road ready. Hey,
9:43
Nintendo. Or whatever your name
9:45
is. You really telling me I'm
9:47
dead? It's attendant. Yeah,
9:51
you are. Sorry,
9:54
friend. Well ain't that just a kick in the
9:56
pants? One more question.
14:00
Yeah, well, um, you are dead,
14:02
so there's that and
14:04
what? You
14:07
want to die choking on
14:10
frozen breakfast foods watching TV?
14:13
You're judgy, you know that. Anyway,
14:16
um, born and raised in New
14:18
York. Manage the electronics counter at
14:20
a department store. Mm-hmm. Fascinating
14:23
stuff, but you know what I want. Yeah,
14:27
I know. There you go, you
14:29
thick little man. Embarrassing
14:31
childhood memories, gutta love
14:33
these. Look, in fourth
14:35
grade, choked on an ice cube at lunch and
14:37
threw up all over the table. Ha ha ha
14:39
ha ha. How do you
14:42
even do that? Says
14:46
his wife died. Her name
14:48
sounds so familiar. Deborah
14:51
Cobb. Deborah
14:54
Cobb. Deborah
14:58
Cobb. Cass,
15:00
do you have a record of a Deborah Cobb
15:02
who was married to a Lawrence Cobb? Indeed.
15:05
Deborah Cobb, age 36. Son,
15:10
death, brain aneurysm. Jesus,
15:12
that's so young. We have so
15:14
many people come through here, Tindy.
15:17
What makes you think you'd remember some random woman?
15:20
We must have had 20,000 Debra's at
15:22
Desert Skies in my time and at
15:24
least a handful of Deborah Cobb's. I
15:27
don't know. Some people just stick
15:29
with you, Mac. Yeah, I guess that's
15:31
true. There is that one
15:34
guy who crapped his pants dancing to you. You're the
15:36
one that I want during a school play. I
15:39
still got the report pinned up in my shack. You
15:42
can't make this stuff up. No, you can't.
15:46
I think I'm going to check on our traveler. Mr.
15:54
Cobb. Bob?
16:01
Go away, Nintendo. I
16:04
just want to talk real quick. Give
16:07
me 30 seconds. Please,
16:10
Mr. Cobb. Stop
16:15
calling me Mr. Cobb. My name
16:17
is Lawrence. Hey, Lawrence. Buddy. You've
16:21
been out here a while, and we're
16:24
getting kind of worried about you. Worried about me? What's
16:27
there to worry about? I'm already dead.
16:30
Dead is such a
16:33
weighty word. You
16:35
left a physical plane. So what? It's
16:38
just one plane of existence. This
16:41
is another. And
16:43
down that road is another.
16:46
And that's your destination. That's
16:49
the next life. Yeah, well if it's so great,
16:51
why haven't you driven down that road, huh? If
16:54
it's so wonderful, what are you doing out
16:56
here in the plane of God knows what
16:58
hawking burritos with people in them? I
17:01
don't know. What do you mean you don't know?
17:04
You're dead too, right? You must
17:06
have pulled in here just like me. But
17:09
you stayed. You're right. I
17:11
mean, I assume
17:13
that's what happened, but I
17:15
don't remember a time when I wasn't working
17:17
here. When I wasn't
17:19
the attendant. I
17:22
don't remember my life on the physical plane,
17:25
or my real name. I
17:28
have no idea who I am, or
17:31
even how I died. Jesus, that's
17:33
messed up, guy. So
17:37
what's to keep you from going now? Get
17:39
in the car. Come on, we'll go together. I
17:42
know I'd feel better if someone was with me, you know. I'm
17:45
sorry, Lawrence. I can't. Why not? Because
17:48
I like what I do. It
17:51
may not seem like much to you, but
17:54
to me, it's everything.
17:58
It's all I've ever known. Do
18:00
you know how many Lawrence Cobbs I've had come
18:02
through here? People like you
18:05
who get behind that wheel and can't seem to turn
18:07
the key? And
18:10
99.9% of the time, I
18:13
get them down that road. I
18:15
save them from the burrito plane of
18:17
existence. I
18:19
help them move on. It might
18:22
not be so bad being a burrito, you know. A
18:25
lot of people like burritos. This
18:27
is true. You
18:30
know, I had a wife who died three
18:32
years ago. I
18:35
couldn't do anything without her. Ever
18:39
since she's been gone, my life's just been
18:41
one pointless day after another. She
18:45
might be up there too, huh? Down that
18:47
road? How could
18:49
I not realize that? Tell
18:52
me, did a Deborah Cobb ever come through this place?
18:56
She did. Well,
18:59
well, okay. I'm
19:01
gonna get to see her again. Come
19:03
inside, Lawrence. Let's get you what you need. Hey,
19:05
you got any of those corn chips shaped like
19:07
a dunce cap? Indeed we do. And
19:10
you didn't do nothing weird to it. No
19:13
need. Those things are weird
19:15
enough on their own. So
19:23
go ahead and take a look around the store, Lawrence, and
19:25
meet me at the counter when you're done. Thanks,
19:27
but I can't buy none of this stuff. I don't
19:29
even have my wallet. Then how
19:32
in the hell are you planning to pay
19:34
for all that astral grade fuel I just
19:36
pumped into your Buick? We
19:39
don't take kindly to thieves around here. Hey now,
19:42
wait just a minute. You didn't
19:44
say nothing about no payment. I
19:46
mean, what would you guys even do with
19:48
money? Uh, nothing at all. Mack
19:51
is just being an asshat. Yeah, I'm just
19:53
messing with you, buddy. Nobody's got
19:55
money this side of the physical rail. You
19:58
know what they say. I can't
20:00
take it with you. When you go, yeah. Like
20:03
I said, just grab whatever you like, and
20:06
I'll be waiting for you right here.
20:10
Oh, and don't forget to
20:12
grab a map. They're
20:15
on that rack over there by the burrito freezer. There's
20:18
only one main road that you'll need to stay on,
20:20
but there are some interesting sites along the way you
20:22
might want to check out. Oh, also, it gets
20:24
cold once you get past the Martian sphere, so
20:26
it would help to grab a- No. No,
20:29
no, no. What's wrong? My
20:33
Debbie. What about her? I told you.
20:36
She's been through here, Lawrence. She
20:38
didn't go down that road. She
20:41
tried to go back. What are you talking
20:43
about? Come see for
20:45
yourself. See what? That's
20:48
her face, right there. Debbie's
20:52
waffle stuffed burrito. Let
20:54
me see. It
20:57
says this delicious, microwavable snack
20:59
is dedicated to Deborah Cobb,
21:03
who attempted to return to the
21:05
physical plane for her dear husband,
21:07
Lawrence. We honor the
21:09
sacrifice she made in the name of
21:12
love. Damn
21:15
it. I knew I
21:18
remembered that name. My wife. The
21:20
only reason I ever had for living is
21:23
a burrito. Well, a lot
21:25
of people like burritos. OK,
21:28
I should shut up. No, you're
21:31
right. A
21:33
lot of people like burritos. But
21:36
I loved this one. And
21:39
she's gone. For
21:41
a second there, I thought there really was a chance
21:43
we could be together again. I'm
21:47
so sorry, Lawrence. Que
21:49
sera sera. Que sera. Could
21:53
I have a moment alone, fellas? Of
21:56
course. Mac, come
21:59
in. Poor
22:03
guy, I can't imagine what
22:05
he's feeling. The thoughts
22:07
that have to be going through his head right now. And
22:10
to think that if his wife could have
22:12
just waited, they'd be together
22:14
now. I
22:16
wonder what it feels like, Mac. To
22:20
miss the physical plane. The
22:23
people you left behind. I
22:27
remember things about the
22:29
physical plane. Real general things. Telephones,
22:33
TVs, wars, placemats
22:36
at Chinese restaurants. But
22:38
I don't remember me. The
22:42
only me I remember is the
22:45
me at Desert Skies. I've
22:49
asked Cass to request a bio so many
22:51
times I've lost count. And
22:53
every time she says the same
22:55
thing, I'm unable to submit bio
22:57
requests for current staff. I
23:01
know I've asked you before, Mac, but you don't
23:03
remember anything else about me when I got
23:05
here? Just the same stuff
23:07
I told you before, Tindy. You
23:09
showed up, got out of the car,
23:12
walked past me like I wasn't even there,
23:15
dead silent. You went
23:17
inside. I started prepping your vehicle
23:19
for the journey and when I went to tell you
23:21
it was ready, you were already
23:23
standing behind the counter. The
23:25
old attendant had slipped out the back and took the car and
23:28
meant for you. I
23:30
guess he was finally ready to hit the road. Funny
23:34
thing is, I never got
23:36
back. Come here. Look
23:39
at this. What's he doing? He's
23:41
chewing. What's that in his
23:43
hand? That
23:45
my friend is Deborah
23:47
Cobb. The
23:49
full essence of her existence,
23:51
desires, purpose, and
23:54
romantic history meticulously crafted
23:56
into an artisan-style burrito.
24:00
Well, I'll be
24:02
damned. I've never seen a man
24:04
sob and eat a burrito at the same time.
24:08
I have. You
24:10
said you'd never mention that again. Hey
24:13
fellas. Hey
24:16
Lawrence, you all right? Yeah,
24:19
you know what? I am. I think
24:21
I'm ready to go. You
24:23
don't have anything. Don't need anything. You
24:26
don't have to, but you sure you don't want
24:29
to grab some snacks for the road? At
24:32
least let me grab you a map. No need. I
24:35
ain't stopping. Well, okay
24:38
then. Sounds like
24:40
you're ready. As I'll ever be. Thanks
24:43
fellas. For everything. And
25:04
that was the last time that we ever saw
25:06
Lawrence Cobb. As
25:08
his tail lights faded into the distance, we
25:11
were reminded of the power of love. And
25:15
its ability to cause wandering souls
25:17
to find resolve. Perhaps,
25:19
each one of them- Give it a rest, Mac. Look.
25:24
He's turning around. Maybe
25:27
he's coming back for something. I
25:29
don't think so. He's
25:32
not slowing down. And
25:43
there he goes. Nothing you could have done,
25:45
Tandy. I really
25:47
thought he was going to make it. Who's to say he didn't? Seems
25:53
to me like he made it exactly where he wanted to
25:55
go. The freezer
25:57
out. Come on, Tandy. We
25:59
got a 30- fifth variety now let's
26:02
see what it is we're gonna need
26:04
a bigger freezer you go ahead
26:07
I'm gonna submit my traveler report hey
26:11
cash hello
26:14
attended I'd like to
26:16
submit my traveler report for Lawrence
26:18
Cobb I am ready
26:21
to capture your report another
26:24
traveler has coming on Lawrence
26:28
Cobb never departed for his trip
26:30
across the celestial spheres it
26:34
seems that he found a reason to
26:36
head the other direction it's
26:39
it's different this time though he wasn't
26:42
trying to return to the physical plane at least
26:44
as far as I can tell he knew
26:48
what the outcome of driving that direction would
26:50
be and that seemed to
26:52
be his intention follow
26:55
the path that his dearly departed Deborah
26:57
had taken just three years before
26:59
I I hope he found
27:01
what he was looking for that's the
27:04
end of my report cash yeah
27:11
it's probably time we requested a second freezer
27:13
34 varieties of
27:15
microwavable burritos is just about all we
27:17
have room for looks like you're not
27:19
up to 35 varieties just yet bud
27:22
what do you mean here you go look
27:24
for yourself Lawrence and
27:27
Debbie's chicken and waffle stuffed burrito
27:29
uh-huh and read the back this
27:32
delicious microwavable snack is
27:35
dedicated to Lawrence and Deborah
27:37
Cobb whose
27:39
love for one another transcends the boundaries
27:41
of the known plane may
27:45
their essences enjoy an eternity of
27:47
artisanal bliss together taste
27:50
the flavor of love another
27:57
traveler looks like it's time to
27:59
get back to work You You
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