Podchaser Logo
Home
The Gyratory

The Gyratory

Released Tuesday, 26th March 2024
 1 person rated this episode
The Gyratory

The Gyratory

The Gyratory

The Gyratory

Tuesday, 26th March 2024
 1 person rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.

Use Ctrl + F to search

0:01

The Door Ya City, Truth and

0:04

Claw by Chris and Jen Sugden

0:06

Episode Fine. If

0:27

there's one thing people love the beloved

0:29

in be bankrupted social commentator Michael Monkfish

0:31

once observed, it's a chase pursuit of

0:33

a hill and veil by cat after

0:36

mouse through day and night and all

0:38

the dreary December afternoons. weather is no

0:40

meaningful difference. The. Thrill of the

0:42

chase is something that binds people

0:44

together like shed customs, good food,

0:47

or in mountaineering scenarios Rope. And.

0:49

There were many opportunities an even greater London

0:52

to witness such cases. From

0:54

the-of businessmen after pickpockets to the

0:56

pursuit of milkman after pick bottles

0:58

to the don't bugle, blaze it

1:00

horseback ladies and terrified handsome older

1:02

gentleman of the annual Silver Fox

1:04

Hunt. And. On

1:06

one particular morning and eighteen eighty seven for

1:08

anyone in the vicinity of the factory town

1:10

of Burn a been on the city's northern

1:12

edge, they would have been treated to the

1:14

very start of the chasing by Inspector Fleet

1:17

and Clara and whistle of Miss France been.

1:19

Only child, heir to the company

1:21

occasional midnight tormentor of nearby villages

1:23

in her costume guys as the

1:25

Barguna and person of extreme interest

1:28

in the so called beast killings

1:30

after drugging the detectives, binding them

1:32

to chairs and fleeing both the

1:34

town and justice. Not. Knowing

1:36

where Francis was headed, Fleet and Clara

1:38

knew that what they needed most was

1:40

information and so they hurried to burn

1:42

Evens train station, her likely departure point

1:44

for a rapid get away. They.

1:47

Were born swiftly there on the mobile

1:49

laboratory vehicle of Pathologists Doctor Septimus Bell.

1:52

Who. then suddenly remembered about all the bodies probably

1:54

piling up in his lab back in the

1:56

city and began an urgent chase of his

1:58

own against time and decomposition Without

2:01

a moment to spare, Fleet and Clara

2:03

dashed along the station platform, and

2:05

found the door to the telegram

2:07

office, which was labelled, as was

2:09

the infuriating custom of telegram operators

2:11

everywhere, not with telegram office, nor

2:13

even open, but rather, dot dash,

2:15

dot dash dash dot, dot dash,

2:17

dot dot dot, dot dash dash,

2:20

dot dash, which was

2:22

code for ETPASWA, which

2:24

stood for enter this place and speak

2:26

with all, which was an impressive

2:28

statement that could be read by precisely none of the

2:31

people it was intended to impress. Here,

2:58

and then we can punch a little machine. Off

3:01

you go then. Fugitive. Ooh, gripping start.

3:03

You're the police. Um... Fugitive,

3:06

burn haven, female, early

3:08

20s, 5'6", lean build,

3:10

black hair, forehead curls, blue eyes,

3:13

sparse eyebrows, long neck, deep silt

3:15

trim, prominent right ear, helix, over

3:17

pronating, gait. Impressive.

3:19

Do me next. No. Oh,

3:21

probably improv and kite. Yeah, that it,

3:23

Clara? Her name? Oh, yes. Name,

3:27

Burn Francis. Oh, the owner's last.

3:30

Oh, blummin' hell. Oh,

3:32

anything else? No. Right

3:35

then. Fugitive, burn

3:37

haven, female, early 20s,

3:40

5'6", lean build, black

3:42

hair, forehead curls, blue

3:44

eyes, sparse eyebrows, long

3:46

neck, deep fallipolum, prominent

3:49

right ear, helix, over pronating, gait.

3:52

Name, Burn Francis.

3:55

And Where do you want this sent, then? London Central

3:58

North. That's the end of the line for me. Now

4:00

she's also super To go straight, they're aware

4:02

then. All. Stations.

4:05

Sorry. Oh send it, you'll central

4:07

routing have them relate to all train

4:09

stations in the city. That's.

4:12

Files I know. I

4:14

can't do that though. Even

4:16

all you I I am.

4:19

Detective. Chief Inspector All when

4:22

Keller Oh no because some identification

4:24

know I've lost it in a

4:26

fight with a tiger or something.

4:29

But. You can send central

4:32

routing my priority code

4:34

or was that Leviathan

4:36

Scarlet? Nineteen Rookery because

4:38

it's mine of course.

4:41

Of course, like all

4:43

stations, Took out her Scotland

4:45

Yard as well. You know that I'd. This.

4:48

Gives isn't well? then. That

4:56

Now do you want to take a seat in this? House

5:00

Quests fast probably those is one

5:02

some Scotland Yard don't listen to

5:04

this is tell our ignore those

5:06

it is I'm seller whoever has

5:08

done this I will enjoy that

5:11

know when I sound like obvious

5:13

and process was as other necessary

5:15

so that some stations Royce fugitive

5:17

seen here shortly after nine sorry

5:20

I am a changing since. Elementary

5:23

Search and says approximately nine fifty

5:25

five sizing. A fugitive since birth,

5:28

moves and trade Seventy sixers east

5:30

and west This once on certain

5:32

mall that the woman with seen

5:34

eight forty Three leave and train

5:36

and getting it off. Forty

5:38

three Earlier than love. For

5:40

the stations aren't listening to a job as

5:43

I just responded to asked asked in his

5:45

eyesight the lighting says is hopeless who knows

5:47

how many times he switched trains oh I.

5:50

Know have them talk to each other? The

5:52

stations. Have all of their messages

5:54

relate to censor routine not to Sars.

5:56

you want thousands of stations

5:59

oh took able to broadcast out

6:01

to every other station all at once,

6:04

round and round in a giant

6:06

circle, it'll be bedlam. They'll

6:08

be able to build on each other's sightings rather

6:10

than just blindly send them to us. It's the

6:12

only way. She's right. I,

6:15

Keller, say let's do it. Alright,

6:19

I'll just send that instruction to Central Rooting.

6:26

There. It'll take a second to circulate.

6:29

Oh, right, here we go. Hello.

6:33

Hello? No, this one just says

6:35

hello. It's from Stevenage. I'll write that in. Hello,

6:39

Stevenage. How are

6:41

you? Don't ask them how they are.

6:44

That's gonna have a thousand of stations.

6:46

Stevenage says they're fine.

6:48

Of course they're fine. You don't need to ask

6:50

to find that if someone's fine. That's the perpetual

6:52

answer to that question. Everyone at all times is

6:55

fine. Are you

6:57

fine? No. This is

6:59

Purrshaw Station. Hello, everybody. Lovely day.

7:02

Hope you're having a nice one. Hadley

7:04

Station here. Yes, I am. Thank you,

7:06

Purrshaw. Hope you are too. Nearly the

7:09

weekend. This is a nightmare.

7:11

Hadley Station. You owe me five

7:13

pounds. Don't worry. Trowbridge

7:16

Station here. Does anyone of you have a

7:18

copy of the timetable changes for next week?

7:20

I have lost mine. Many things. Perhaps

7:23

we need to remind them gently what

7:25

we're doing. Yes, all right. Telegram person,

7:27

Herbert. Find Herbert. Send them this. Stations,

7:30

this is Detective Chief Inspector Keller. Between

7:33

yourselves, figure out the last known

7:35

sighting of fugitives. Okay.

7:40

Same for station, says. Train arrived here.

7:42

Fugitives jumped under the 1015 to Brassburg.

7:46

Does anyone have her after that? Well,

7:48

for station here, woman alight at around 10.50.

7:51

Found her when no trains come in for

7:53

a few hours. So she stole an alt

7:55

from a box car and rode away up

7:57

speed. This is Ben Stigley.

8:00

Jigpot station here, not seeing

8:02

woman but can tell you

8:04

that bench pink witherton is 35

8:07

minutes from gruff growth station by horse.

8:10

Jigpot station says shut up! You can't possibly

8:14

know that. Jigpot, you're just down the

8:16

road. Why don't you come

8:18

up here and say that to my

8:21

face. Jigpot, you're just down the

8:24

road. Why don't you come

8:26

up here and say that to my

8:29

face. Jigpot replies, you're on.

8:31

Oxley, meet me outside the lemon

8:33

flag in an hour. We'll settle

8:35

this once and for all. Scotland

8:38

Yard, right? It's the Keller imposter again.

8:40

Don't listen to him. Scotland Yard, right?

8:43

What in all of boiling damn

8:45

nice is ever you done? I

8:48

will find whoever this is, nail

8:51

you to the side of a bat, light

8:54

the bath on fire, and

8:56

rain a torrent of poisonous

8:59

arrows upon the bath fire.

9:01

That's it. You'll be fine. And

9:09

my telegraphs have melted. Oh. They're

9:13

just not built for this volume of chat. Hold up,

9:16

there's one more. Came through just

9:18

before. Peterborough Interchange,

9:21

fugitive spotted 11.30am,

9:24

boarding the Gur.

9:26

Boarding the Gur? The message after

9:28

that is melted, so that's your lot. Boarding

9:31

the Gur. G-Y-R. Gyre? Gyroscope? Gyrate?

9:34

Gyratory? Gyratory? It's a line

9:36

circling the

9:40

city. Trains only go clockwise. It's a scenic

9:42

route. No changes between Peterborough and London Central

9:44

East. Then we've got her. We can just

9:47

telegram ahead. After all this covering her tracks,

9:49

she's not likely to risk getting off at

9:51

the station. More likely she'll try to slip

9:53

off just outside when the train slows down

9:55

and then disappear into central London. And

9:57

there is also that matter of... Of

10:00

course, the dozen melted telegraph machines.

10:02

The bill for which I should send to you, Chief

10:04

Inspector? Yes, send it to me,

10:07

at Scotland Yard. That's

10:09

going to be absolutely fine. If this

10:11

train is a scenic service, maybe we can

10:13

intercept it. Possibly, it goes quite far

10:16

around. Then we've got her! All we need

10:18

to do is to... Erm... Get

10:20

onto a moving train. Yes. Does

10:23

it slow down anywhere before it reaches London

10:25

Central? Oh, yes.

10:28

It'll have to. Where? When

10:30

it goes through Cambridge. Cambridge? I

10:32

thought you said it was underwater? It

10:35

is. Cambridge,

10:40

by all accounts, had once been a

10:42

lovely place. The ancient

10:44

stone colleges, the tingling of bicycle

10:46

bells, as keen undergraduates peddled between

10:48

tutorials, the noble swans who had

10:50

overheard and mastered the entirety of

10:53

the natural sciences curriculum, from students

10:55

revising on the riverbank. But

10:57

tragically, we're still forbidden to attend all but

10:59

two of the colleges. This,

11:02

of course, was before London's expansion. Some

11:05

said that a member of Brunelles' engineering corps

11:07

had made a terrible error of calculation while

11:09

diverting several rivers. Others said

11:11

that the Brunellians had tunnelled too vigorously

11:14

into a vast aquifer, and countless cubic

11:16

feet of water had spurted forth onto

11:18

the earth, like popped champagne. And

11:21

others still said that that comparison

11:23

was misleading, as champagne is French,

11:25

fizzy and joyous. Whereas what emerged

11:27

in Cambridge was English, still and

11:29

sad. Regardless, what

11:31

was done was done, and that

11:33

great university city, together with the

11:35

rest of Cambridge, was swallowed up

11:37

into the great Fenland Lake. The

11:40

citizens of London had lost an irreplaceable

11:42

centre of learning. On the

11:44

other hand, the swans had never been happier. Fleet

11:47

and Clara, meanwhile, who had been happier, hurried

11:50

along the most direct possible route to the

11:52

lake, and three train rides, two

11:54

cap trips and one dashed down a mudstone

11:56

bank later, they finally arrived at the water's

11:58

edge. Right,

12:03

here we are. Gosh, you'd think

12:05

you were by the ocean. I can't even see

12:08

the other shore. It's well past the horizon, but

12:10

we don't need to go that far. The train cross

12:12

is just a few miles in from here. We just

12:14

need to flag down a punt. What? A

12:16

punt! Little flat boat use a pole to push

12:19

it along. That's what they have here. Who? The

12:22

university. I thought the flood destroyed it all, apart from

12:24

Gertin. The buildings, yes, but... Look.

12:28

Clara squinted at the horizon and saw,

12:31

floating along in the shimmering light, a

12:33

tiny wooden object that must, given the

12:35

distance, have been a gigantic boat. It

12:39

had no sails or obvious means of propulsion of

12:41

any kind. It didn't even seem

12:43

to have portholes. It was just a big,

12:45

rounded wooden box, drifting wherever the water took

12:47

it. Squinting harder,

12:49

Clara could read on its hull,

12:52

painted in enormous tar letters, the

12:54

words Peterhouse College, and in slightly

12:56

smaller tar letters, the words Other

12:59

Colleges Stay Away, We Have Canon. But

13:02

why haven't they all left? Well, still

13:05

a university. Beats the real

13:07

world. Of course, there is such

13:09

a thing as being too sceptical, and that

13:11

is why Descartes lost every game of cards

13:13

he ever played. Oh, here comes a punt

13:15

now. Hello? Uh, oh,

13:17

hello? Could we come aboard, please?

13:20

We're in the middle of a tutorial. We're in

13:22

the middle of pursuing a fugitive. How

13:25

bad a fugitive? How bad? Lives

13:27

are at stake. Mmm. Lives,

13:30

you say? Well, this is a philosophy tutorial.

13:32

Oh, god. And

13:35

most theories of ethics would agree that

13:37

death is a bad thing. So,

13:40

we can come aboard? Well...

13:42

Forget it, let's just swim. How

13:44

are we to know that this person

13:46

you are pursuing isn't acting for the

13:49

great good? She had us drugged and

13:51

bound to chairs, and she might be

13:53

involved in multiple murders. Well, perhaps had

13:55

she not done these things, even worse

13:57

outcomes would have occurred. The

14:00

utilitarian would say that we must calculate

14:02

the overall happiness of these different scenarios,

14:04

the actual and the possible, and that

14:06

will tell us which was the most

14:09

moral action. Well, I would do

14:11

that. Only many of the people I would

14:13

need to talk to have been actually, not

14:15

possibly, eviscerated. Tricky. No, it

14:18

isn't. Couldn't you argue that some actions are

14:20

just wrong? Well, the deontologist

14:22

would certainly say so. But

14:24

how are we to decide

14:26

which, and which of these

14:28

opposing ethical systems, is the true one?

14:32

Only with thoughtful study. And

14:34

how are we to propagate the techniques

14:37

of thoughtful study? With

14:39

tutorials unimpeded by prospective

14:41

stoways such as yourselves. I'm

14:44

sorry, absolute certainty in most philosophical

14:47

matters is a mirage, and our

14:49

primary duty is the contemplation, rigorous

14:52

intellectual investigation, and the sharpening

14:54

of the blaze of inquiry

14:56

with the whetstone of structured

14:58

argumentation. We'll pay

15:00

you. All right, then. The

15:05

train crossing is a mile due east. Sit

15:08

back and relax. We'll be there in no time. How

15:11

long do we have, Fleet? It's a floating bridge,

15:13

so the train has to slow down to cross.

15:15

But even so, it'll be close. Well,

15:18

with Mr Roberts here on the pole, you've got the

15:20

best of chances. Isn't that right, Mr Roberts? Yes. Are

15:25

you all right? I had no idea how difficult

15:27

punting was. Oh, it's not

15:30

normally, but the lake is

15:32

quite deep, so to reach the

15:34

bottom, the pole is very long.

15:36

Yes, yes, enough excuses, Mr Roberts.

15:38

Now, where were we? Syllogism? Syllogism?

15:41

Syllogism, that's right, Mr Searle. Example?

15:45

All men are mortal. Socrates

15:47

is a man. Therefore...

15:50

Yes? Socrates

15:53

is... something.

15:57

Not just something. You

16:00

can do it. Um... Socrates

16:03

is mortal. Very good,

16:06

sir. That does indeed

16:08

prove that Socrates is

16:10

mortal. Plus, he

16:13

snuffed it absolutely ages ago, so... Professor

16:15

Briggs, silly question. Roberts,

16:17

there are no silly questions. This

16:20

is philosophy. Couldn't you argue

16:22

that Socrates isn't mortal, because

16:24

we're still talking about him

16:27

today? Right.

16:29

Well, as I said, there

16:31

are no silly questions, but... There

16:34

are some that are bad and miss the point. When

16:36

you said we'll be there in no time... Now,

16:39

can anyone give me an example of

16:41

an a priori statement? There's an enemy

16:43

ship approaching. Roberts, that

16:46

is clearly not a priori. That

16:48

statement stands on empirical evidence. No,

16:50

but now, where one to

16:52

say an enemy ship is not an ally

16:54

ship, that would be a

16:56

priori. You don't

16:58

need evidence to state that. But, sir,

17:01

look! Oh! Another

17:04

punt! Well, spotted, sirs!

17:06

Roberts, why didn't you

17:08

say something? Sir, use the glass. Which

17:12

college's colours do they fly? St

17:15

Catherine's, sir. Hmm. Is

17:18

that bad? They're not a declared enemy,

17:20

but we've had our run-ins. Which college

17:22

are you? Sidney Sussex. Part

17:24

of the St John's Alliance. Bring us

17:27

to a stop, Mr Roberts. Is that really

17:29

necessary? That depends. Can you swim? Yes. After

17:32

they've fired a harpoon through you? Probably

17:34

not for very long. Sorry, I

17:36

have a question about syllogisms. I said hold

17:39

stop, Mr Roberts. Oh. Ahoy!

17:41

Sidney Sussex vessel. You're less

17:44

than a hundred feet from Trinity College waters.

17:46

Turn back. And what concern is

17:48

that of yours, St Catherine's vessel? You

17:51

are allied to no one but yourselves

17:53

and opportunity. On the contrary,

17:55

we are part of the Great Trinity Alliance

17:57

now. Blast! I

18:00

didn't want to believe the rumours. Trinity

18:02

grows more powerful by the day. Are

18:04

you at war? The war is piled,

18:07

but mercifully the kindling has not yet been

18:09

sparked. What on earth are you all

18:11

even fighting about? Look around you. There's

18:14

nothing here. I mean,

18:16

this is temperature. There was nothing here before either.

18:19

But now, even the nothing has been

18:21

flooded. All we have

18:23

is the fish. You fight over fish? We

18:26

fight over survival. Your answer,

18:28

Sidney Sussex vessel. Do you have anything you

18:30

can give them? No. We've

18:32

got something we can give them. No,

18:35

please don't. What subjects do

18:37

you teach, St. Catherine's vessel? This

18:39

is a medicine and physiology tutorial punt.

18:42

This is Mr. Peters and Mr. Smythe.

18:45

They're in their first year. Hello!

18:48

First year medics! We

18:50

might get through this alive after all. So,

18:54

deploy the quandary barrage.

18:57

Sir? I said deploy

18:59

the barrage! Oh, non-philosophists!

19:02

I won't. I can't! Sir, this is

19:04

the moment you've been training for! Why

19:07

do you think we drill these things? For

19:09

fun? I'll do it, sir. Robert?

19:12

No. You're not ready. St.

19:14

Catherine's vessel! Come here, you two, for the

19:17

love of God! Really? Do it if you

19:19

want to live! Listen to him, fleet. Oh,

19:21

fine. St.

19:23

Catherine's vessel! Your anatomy training tells

19:25

you that the body replaces itself

19:28

over and over again every ten

19:30

years or so on average. Yes?

19:33

What of it? If that is so, then

19:35

are you the same person as before? What

19:38

allows you to think so? Are your memories

19:40

really yours? Are your accomplishments? Oh...

19:44

Oh... There is

19:46

a barber in a town. He shaves every man who

19:48

does not shave himself. Who

19:50

shaves the barber? If it is him, then he must

19:52

not, and if not, then he must! Does

19:58

God know how you will... Act! If

20:00

so, then you have no free will! If

20:02

not, then we have no god! Aaaaaaah!

20:07

Consider a heap of sand! Robert,

20:09

no! That's enough! They've had enough!

20:12

Aaaaaaah!

20:15

Are you finished? Yes. Yes,

20:19

we can pass. What on Earth

20:21

have you done to them? They'll be alright in

20:23

a few minutes. Robert's only gave them

20:25

a quick volley. As long as they

20:27

didn't think about it all too much, they'll be fine. That'll

20:30

teach them to cross philosophers. Mr.

20:33

Roberts, to the train crossing, if you

20:35

please. Aye aye, sir. And,

20:38

Mr. Sir? Yes?

20:41

The college principal will hear of this. And

20:44

once we get to the bridge crossing, I

20:46

think it's about time you took over the punty.

20:50

Yes, sir. Fleet

20:55

and Clara's tiny boat of abstract learning

20:57

and maritime warfare made its way across

21:00

the great Fenland Lake. Eventually,

21:02

they noticed the horizon moving towards them.

21:05

Or, not the horizon, but a straight line that

21:07

had been penciled from end to end across it.

21:10

As the center of the line grew thicker, they

21:12

realized they could see more water beyond it. After

21:15

a while, they could see the line

21:17

sitting atop an endless chain of letter M's.

21:20

Large barrels of some kind undulating on

21:22

the water and baffling its movements, leaving

21:24

the flat line more or less still.

21:27

As they came closer, the line revealed itself

21:30

as a platform, twice the breadth of the

21:32

train, with sleepers and tracks

21:34

running along its length, and vanishing into

21:36

the distance in both directions, like waves

21:38

in the sea. Right.

21:43

Here we are. Thank you for the lift,

21:45

Professor. You're very welcome. My decept,

21:47

and make sure you catch that train.

21:49

Who knows when another boat will be along here. We

21:52

will. Are you sure we can't

21:54

send help of some kind? This life

21:56

you're leading out here seems dangerous.

21:59

Oh, life's... is dangerous, Miss Entwistle. None of

22:01

us are going to make it out alive.

22:04

I suppose. We are a flicker

22:06

of a candle in the night. The

22:09

question is, given the short time we have,

22:12

how should we live? You have an

22:14

answer? There are as many

22:17

answers to that question as there are drops

22:19

of water in this lake, Inspector. What's

22:21

yours? To make sure people

22:23

keep asking it. So,

22:27

put your bag into it. If we don't

22:30

get back to friendly waters before nightfall, we're

22:32

fish food. And how's that going to help

22:34

you pass your final exams? Roberts,

22:38

join me on high table this evening. We're

22:40

having whatever bird the chef was able to

22:42

shoot out of the sky. How

22:50

long has it been? Really? How

22:52

long? Eight

22:54

minutes. What time is the train

22:56

to get here? Soon. How soon? I don't know.

22:59

They don't have exact time for when it gets

23:01

some distance across a floating bridge. They should. Well,

23:03

you can write to them right after we search

23:05

the train and find Francis Byrne. What

23:08

are you doing? Picking a stone. It's

23:10

mostly gravel under the sleepers, but there's some good

23:12

ones. Good. A skinny fleet.

23:15

Watch this. Well, not bad. Your

23:18

turn. No. Go

23:20

on. I'm fine. Well, that's

23:22

right. You haven't met. Met? Met

23:24

who? Fun fleet. You haven't met fun. I'm

23:26

not rising to that. Of

23:28

course not. That would be dangerously close to fun. Nice

23:31

try. Fleet, in

23:33

the whole time I have known you, you

23:35

have been entirely reluctant, in my presence at

23:37

least, to do anything that most people would

23:39

call fun. Am I going to have

23:41

to threaten to not get on this train unless you skim a stone?

23:43

Are you threatening that? Not

23:46

yet, but I think you shouldn't put me in

23:48

the position of having to. Alright. There.

23:55

What was that? That was a decent

23:57

lob, I thought. It didn't bounce at all. That

23:59

was too much. Terrible I thought we were

24:01

going for distance for distance. That's not how

24:03

this game works. Maybe you do it differently

24:05

up north There

24:09

even further that time you're having me

24:11

on fleet I refuse to believe you don't know

24:14

what skimming a stone is well Maybe I don't

24:16

want to embarrass you with my superior skimming You

24:18

can't refuse to play and say it's because you're

24:20

afraid you'll win you're absolutely fiend your

24:22

goat I think your first one

24:25

was lucky anyway lucky watch this

24:31

How about that higher clary you need to

24:33

throw it much higher you can ruin anything

24:35

you drove me to this wait listen The

24:39

train is coming can't see it You're

24:43

right. It's there. It's coming remember the

24:45

plan. I think plan rather oversells it It's

24:47

a simple plan, but still a plan. It's

24:50

waving our arms and shouting. See you know the

24:52

plan. I'm fully brief This is fun. I've

24:54

never held up a train before we're not bandits.

24:56

We're just gonna flag it down. We'd be terrific

24:58

bandit Let's just see how our current line of

25:00

work goes Are you ready?

25:02

I'm ready It's

25:06

slowed down because of the floating bridge isn't it it

25:08

has you might have a little while yet All

25:16

right, it's nearly here. I'm sure they can see us

25:18

now time to begin phase one of

25:20

the plan There's more than one phase no,

25:23

but it is nevertheless phase one

25:25

on three one two three

25:40

He's pointing at his watch and shaking his head

25:43

worried about the time doesn't make the train

25:45

late I I'm

26:03

not going to hide you,

26:06

you! Ah! Grab

26:10

my hand, Pete! Ready? One,

26:12

two, that one! Me!

26:17

Ah! Dammit! Ah!

26:23

Ah! I'll

26:26

have a kiss. Yours

26:29

last carriage, no, no, no! Take

26:45

it, sir? Give me a minute! Phew!

26:52

Now then, I think I saw Fleet jump

26:54

on all right. Let's hope so. Time

26:57

to move to plan B2. Fleet's

26:59

at the back, I'm at the front, we'll sweep

27:02

through from the ends, and one of us will

27:04

nab Francis Byrne. That's even better

27:06

than plan A! Now, what

27:08

carriage is this? Observation

27:11

lounge. All right. And

27:14

of course we wish the students and Daunts

27:17

of Cambridge all the best in their battle

27:19

against the waters, each other, and everything that

27:21

escaped from the Zoology Department's House of Crocodilians.

27:24

Let's have a hound for Cambridge, everyone. Now,

27:28

we will shortly be exiting the Fendland Lake

27:30

Crossing and heading back into London proper. First

27:33

at sea level, and then gradually upwards

27:35

onto viaduct level as we return to

27:37

the dense cityscape of our glorious capital.

27:40

Sir, what have you been told in the past about

27:42

looking out of train windows in London? Erm...

27:45

Don't quite write, because the

27:48

view of all those buildings and crisscrossing

27:50

bridges and innumerable clock towers and whatnot

27:52

really can do a number on you.

27:54

Particularly, and I do not like to

27:57

say this, but it is science on

27:59

women. because of what we now

28:01

know to be their smaller, more delicate

28:03

conceptual shielding lobes. I'll keep my

28:05

eyes firmly closed, just as I do

28:07

at the theatre. Ah, but never fear, madam.

28:09

Here on the Gyratory we offer a

28:11

higher level of service than the average

28:14

train. The windows will become tinted, calming

28:16

sounds will be pumped into the room

28:18

to prevent your brainwaves from turning into

28:20

brain tsunamis, and if all else

28:22

fails, I'll be on hand to bring you back

28:24

to the here and now, so you'll be able

28:26

to enjoy the view in total safety. Doesn't that

28:28

sound like fun? Um, excuse

28:31

me, I'm looking for someone, a

28:33

young man. Can't help you, miss. We've

28:36

all been looking out of the windows

28:38

at the lake, I'm afraid. There's just

28:40

something so very calming about a nice,

28:42

big lake. Not to mention today we

28:44

were lucky enough to witness the rare

28:46

sight of Corpus Christi, Sir Mercer College,

28:48

majestically breaching fully ten feet above the

28:50

surface of the water. Possibly fair, possibly

28:52

for fun, possibly to avoid one of

28:54

the thousands of Hometon College naval mines.

28:56

Better luck next time, Hometon! Alright,

29:00

thank you. Not a problem. Now

29:03

everyone, let me just tint the windows and turn

29:05

on the brain sounds, and we will be ready

29:07

to observe the city. Well,

29:16

she wasn't in the baggage car. Let's try the cabins.

29:23

Yes? I'm looking for a woman hiding

29:25

on this train. Early 20s, 5'6", lean

29:27

build, black hair, forehead curls, blue eyes,

29:30

sparse eyebrows, long neck, deep, filtered and

29:32

prominent right ear, helix, over-pronating gate. Why

29:34

are you sopping wet? I was in

29:36

the lake. I didn't know we were

29:38

allowed to go for a tip. Have you seen a woman

29:40

by that description? Can't say that I have. Do you have

29:43

a towel? Fresh out, I'm afraid. Thank you! Yes?

29:51

I'm looking for a woman hiding on this

29:53

train. Early 20s, 5'6", lean build, black hair,

29:55

forehead curls, blue eyes, sparse eyebrows, long neck,

29:57

deep, filtered and prominent right ear, helix, over-pronating

29:59

gate. over pronating gate. Over

30:01

pronating gate? No. Right. Sorry,

30:04

but you have seen someone matching every other

30:06

part of that description. Oh, no. Right.

30:09

Do you have a towel? Yes. Oh. Does

30:12

it have to be dry? Yes. Oh, then no.

30:14

Why would I want a wet towel? Do you

30:16

think I'm collecting all the water I can? Thank

30:18

you, goodbye. Oh god. Hello?

30:32

Hello. Have you seen a woman? Oh, he's

30:34

seen a woman alright. You're

30:38

not a steward. Correct. Listen,

30:40

my fellow, no need to tell anyone about

30:42

this. Keep it on to your hat.

30:45

I don't care what you're up to. It's not

30:47

what it looks like. It is, but I don't

30:49

care. I'll be ruined. You really won't. I'm just

30:51

looking for someone. We were just looking for someone.

30:53

A companion. My thing's different. Is there anything I

30:55

can do to keep this between us? Do

30:58

you have a towel? Other than the ones we're

31:01

wearing? Yes. I think they're the only

31:03

ones. That's fine. Now have mine, my

31:05

good friend. No, stop. It's clean. We

31:08

just put them on to come to the door.

31:10

Just let me... Sir! Sir!

31:12

Come back! It's fluffy.

31:15

Sir! Right.

31:20

Signal carriage. Hello,

31:26

do you work here? I do, sir. Welcome

31:28

to the signal carriage. Can I

31:30

interest you in a locution call? Telephone?

31:32

Telegram? We've got it all. Well, just

31:35

those three, really. I'm looking for a

31:37

woman hiding on this train. Early 20s,

31:39

5'6", lean build. Might

31:41

you be Inspector Fleet? How'd you know

31:43

that? You have a call waiting for

31:46

you. Really? Yes, sir. On the locution

31:48

glass in booth 5. What on earth

31:50

knows I'm even on this? Chief Inspector

31:53

Schneller, sir. Schneller? You mean Keller? Chief

31:55

Inspector Schneller said you'd say that.

31:58

And he said to tell you that, of course, he is... not

32:00

Keller. How could he? When

32:03

you clearly are Keller, you said so

32:05

to the Telegram operator when you used

32:07

the Chief Inspector's personal security access code

32:09

to reconfigure the city's Telegram network. Yes,

32:12

well I'll have to call him back.

32:14

I'm in pursuit. Chief Schneller also

32:16

said you'd say that, and he

32:19

said, tell Fleet that

32:21

unless he wants to be pursued,

32:23

find me, cross the earth, until

32:26

his legs collapse and the last sting he

32:28

hears is the sharpening of the blade I'll

32:30

use to turn him into trout bait, and

32:32

he knows there's nothing he can do

32:35

to prevent or delay his piscine comeuppance.

32:37

Then he'll answer the damned call. Alright

32:40

then. Just go into the booth and I'll connect

32:42

you. Fleet? Hello, sir. I

32:44

can't see you. Maybe this is the way you're going. I

32:56

am on a train, in pursuit of a possible murderer.

33:02

Can you see me? I can. How many

33:04

fingers am I holding up? No fingers? That seems to be

33:06

a knife. done?

33:11

Yes, and I'm sorry about the invoice. What invoice?

33:13

No, never mind, there's no invoice. You

34:00

disappear for days without report, and now you've

34:02

launched some sort of telecommunications warfare on the

34:04

city. I am sorry about that, but it was to

34:07

track someone very dangerous. We know she has

34:09

a connection to the beast, and she's somewhere on this train, and

34:11

we have to find her before we arrive. Are you damp? Where

34:13

do you sound damp? Why are you damp? I

34:15

am damp. I sound damp because I am damp, and

34:18

I am damp because I fell into the Great Fend

34:20

and Lake, and the only people on board this train

34:22

with clean towels need them to cover their shame. Well,

34:24

if you're pursuing someone along a train, you

34:26

put a natural advantage, which should go some

34:28

way towards counterbalancing your numerous natural disadvantages. Yes.

34:31

If possible, set up a pressure movement, or

34:33

person any gents like a fast crab, snipping into the

34:35

train. Hence the name. Exactly,

34:37

Fleet. You'll want to proceed with care, but speed.

34:39

Swift caution. And be aware that when you corner

34:41

the suspects, you will have no option but to

34:43

lash out at you. Be ready for anything. I

34:45

am. Are you, Fleet? Because this

34:47

is exactly the situation I was in with Leon Gorn. The

34:50

Professor of Poisons? He depressed made that

34:52

title up. His field was organic chemistry, and I

34:54

think he was only a lecturer. Well liked by

34:56

his students, but still behind on publications. You know

34:58

how the academic world is. I don't, but I really should

35:00

be going. Leon had fled onto the 11th 19th to Badhampton. I

35:03

got on a trip, and I spied him in third from

35:05

us reading the sports session, if you please. Sir. Now,

35:08

he already knew who I was, so I had to

35:10

hide myself here, and a woman who was walking to

35:12

her seat carrying a challenge. Sir. Only the now thing

35:14

made such a racket, score king-flopping, that Gorn spotted me

35:16

sprung up, pushed a small glass bottle out of his

35:18

pocket, and covered his mouth and knows where the hackers

35:20

are. Sir. Gorn.

35:23

Me. Poison. Turret.

35:27

I know what you're thinking. Throw the birds or a Gorn straight like a javelin.

35:29

The Lord crossed my mind as well. You

35:34

may see him. This tree has

35:37

everything. Hello?

35:42

The thing is, commodities markets are

35:44

absolutely dog-eat-dog. Dog-eating, by dog. You've

35:46

got to be top dog, you know. Not bottom dog.

35:49

Top of the zone. Later on, the pack. Excuse

35:51

me. It's every dog themselves out there. You

35:54

place your bets, you win, you lose, but

35:56

it's you, your wits, your inserts, your

35:58

guts. Not everybody has that. How

36:00

could they? I could say. And that's not

36:02

a judgement. It's just, capital is the blood

36:04

and we're the brain, you know? We tell

36:06

it where's the gauntlet. Left foot. Left foot

36:08

for a bit. Now the hand, now the kidneys,

36:11

who knows? I'm not a doctor. But the

36:13

fund is up. Q over

36:15

Q. Just ears, but fuck. Can't

36:17

argue with numbers. Excuse me! Oh,

36:19

sorry, man. Didn't see you there. Keeping the

36:22

body tip-top, keeps the world sharp, you know? Yes.

36:24

Have you seen a woman running through here? She's

36:26

a fugitive. She's made some

36:28

poor choices. Oh, bet. Haven't seen her.

36:31

Focusing on the skits. Alright. Thank

36:33

you. Pointing! We make

36:35

a difference. Everybody else, just and

36:37

hands. Where should my taxes be for

36:39

people to sit about? Stop my fault

36:41

there. Shots blows down a hundred miles

36:43

away. Let everybody figure out their own

36:45

path, you know? We're all just dogs

36:47

in the end. Scrapping it out. Let

36:49

the top dog win. A telegram for

36:51

you, Mr Ward. Ah, this'll

36:54

be the office. Top dog headquarters. Let's

36:56

see what's happening at the channel. Good

37:03

afternoon, Miss. Welcome to the on-board

37:05

boutique. Thank you. I'm looking- Can I

37:07

interest you in a fragrant soap or

37:09

bath salt? We have the entire Casa

37:11

Pazosa collection. No, thank you. I'm looking-

37:13

Magnum of Cabernet? Box of snuff?

37:16

Free-range Piccadilly? No, really. It's all

37:18

due to free? Really? Why?

37:20

This train doesn't cross any border. True. But

37:22

it also never stops for more than 15

37:25

minutes. So technically, we are

37:27

exempt from British customs laws. No,

37:29

I'm Abt the souvenir gyratory snow

37:31

globe. It isn't a getaway without

37:33

a souvenir and the Hana getaway. I'm

37:35

trying to stop someone getting away. And

37:38

what an experience to remember. Just what

37:40

souvenirs are all about. Lounge

37:48

bar. Good. Someone must have seen something.

37:51

And so you are asking yourself why

37:53

I, Inspector Bouvet, have summoned all eight

37:55

of you here to the lounge. And

37:58

it is for this reason- As

38:00

we know, Mr. Winston was murdered

38:02

last night as he slept in his cabin.

38:05

And the culprit is in this room.

38:11

Who could it have been? The possibilities

38:13

are many. George Winston

38:15

was, after all, an appalling person

38:18

who wronged all eight of you

38:20

in serious but different ways. Ways

38:22

that shine a light on his and

38:24

your colorful pasts. And yet, George

38:27

Winston was stabbed by only seven

38:30

people. Which means one of

38:32

you is not a murderer. It's

38:36

true. And I know who

38:38

it is that sits guiltlessly among you.

38:41

But rather than just tell you and do something

38:43

about it, I'm first

38:45

going to go painstakingly through the

38:47

details of everything I have learned

38:49

since getting on this train. No,

38:54

no. This is just how we do it.

38:56

There's no use crumbling. It's your own time

38:58

you're wasting. Excuse me. Yes? I'm looking for

39:00

a woman hiding on this train. Early 20s,

39:03

5'6", lean build. I

39:05

don't see what this has to do

39:07

with the murder last night of George

39:09

Winston. It doesn't. This woman only got

39:11

on board today, but... Then it is

39:13

of no consequence. She could be very

39:16

dangerous. The danger to George Winston has

39:18

already occurred. Trains can have more than

39:20

one crime on them. Anyone. Woman

39:22

running through, hiding out. Do

39:24

not answer him. Really? Really.

39:27

Fine. All of you ask that

39:29

man sitting there why he's the only one

39:31

not sweating. Hey! Don't you solve my case!

39:33

Already have. Get out of here! I'm going.

39:39

Right. We begin

39:41

as I boarded the train yesterday

39:43

evening. Shut up!

39:47

My first encounter was a class of suitcases with

39:49

the Colonel here. Who I noticed

39:51

immediately moved more spryly than you would

39:53

expect from a man with a cane.

39:57

Oh... If indeed it was...

40:00

The King, that is! Aaaah!

40:06

Right, dining car. Must be nearly in the middle now.

40:08

No Francis Byrne, no Francis Byrne, no Francis Byrne, no

40:10

Francis Byrne, no Francis Byrne, no Francis Byrne, no Francis

40:12

Byrne, no Francis Byrne, no Francis Byrne, no Francis Byrne,

40:14

no Francis Byrne... Hello Fleet, any sign of her? Yes,

40:16

but she was sleeping so peacefully I thought I'd leave

40:19

her. I'm ignoring that. And yet also acknowledging it. She

40:21

wasn't that way either. This train is very

40:23

odd, isn't it? It is. Waiter,

40:26

any word on our sole mignon? Clearly

40:29

not a waiter. Miss Fab West Home. Oh,

40:31

that explains why you're drenched.

40:34

No, it doesn't. Debris, Inspector,

40:36

Miss Entwistle, what brings you

40:38

aboard this train? We're pursuing Francis Byrne. Of

40:40

the Burnet? Of the Burns? Yes. She was

40:42

the person pretending to be the bargainer in

40:45

the Boundary Forest. And we

40:47

think she might know something about the beast. What

40:49

makes you think that? Because when we spoke with

40:51

her about it, she drugged and kidnapped us. A

40:53

reasonable conclusion. What brings you aboard? The

40:56

finest sole mignon on wheels. Eventually!

41:00

We left you tracking the beast, and now you're here

41:02

for a nice fish. Of course we are not on

41:04

this train for the fish. Well,

41:06

it's not the sole reason.

41:18

Mary, are you laughing? Yes,

41:20

for the first time. Of course not.

41:22

Not more than the tenth, though, right?

41:24

No one can resist Gertie's charm forever.

41:26

You still think you are insufferable. Varen,

41:29

my dear, I think you mean... ...and

41:31

adjudicating. And you're on the train because...

41:33

Well, you left us last night as

41:35

we were still searching for evidence of

41:37

the black dog in the Boundary Forest. But

41:39

by that point, it was getting late,

41:42

so old Gertie whips up a quick

41:44

shelter out of Brancher. Five-star

41:46

woodland accommodation. It

41:48

was...effective. And then we

41:50

realized we were famished, so we did

41:53

a little midnight hunting together. We

41:55

captured a pheasant and... Good lord.

41:58

Oh, don't be squeamish, Inspector. It says you may... as

42:00

possible. Far worse predators roam the

42:02

forest. A quick death in nature

42:04

is a mercy. Well, and let

42:06

me say it. He might speak

42:08

I could see his headmaster, but he is

42:11

in fact quite the new behind him. He

42:13

didn't even need a trap. He just caught

42:16

the poor bird out of the air as it flew past

42:18

us. Its kin will learn to fly higher.

42:20

So we subbed on pheasant and mushroom,

42:23

hunkered down in our little shelter together,

42:25

and in the morning, fresh as daisies,

42:27

we succeeded in finding the beast's tracks.

42:30

In truth, it was Miss Babworth-Pome

42:32

who first noticed the prince. Despite

42:35

her showmanship, she is a rather

42:37

excellent tracker. I confess she

42:40

might even be more skilled than I.

42:42

It's true. The eyes of a hawk, the

42:44

nose of a bloodhound, and the thighs of a

42:46

mare. Sorry, how does

42:48

the thighs help? Fleet. Eventually, however, the

42:50

Black Dog's trail ran cold. We know

42:52

it found a way into the city

42:54

somehow, but we could not retrace it.

42:56

So we decided to head back to

42:58

resume the search. And we went our

43:00

way to this train to get home. I

43:02

mean, after roughing it in the woods, I

43:04

think we deserve a little luxury, don't you?

43:07

Well, while you two are enjoying Hote cuisine...

43:09

Not enjoying it yet, are we, my boy?

43:12

See a soul minion in front of

43:14

me? Because I could have caught one,

43:16

baby! Well, we've been tracking our assailant.

43:18

She's clearly got something to do with

43:20

the beast, and she's on this train.

43:22

Is she? Well, we don't know. Have

43:24

you looked? That's what we should

43:26

have done. We've just searched from the front and the

43:28

back and met here. Have you looked

43:30

everywhere? Yes. Everywhere. Everywhere.

43:32

Stop asking! Either you missed somewhere or

43:35

she is not on the train. She

43:37

must be on the train. She can't

43:39

be, though. We searched literally every carriage. The

43:41

only way she could be on this train

43:43

is if she's driving it. Good

43:48

hunting! If you pass one, send

43:50

a waiter! Or a damned

43:53

fishing rod! Should we

43:55

go help them? Let's give them a head start. More fun this

43:57

way. Splash

44:00

more of the Viognier? Just a

44:03

splash Baron. I must Viognier my

44:05

best behaviour. Hello

44:14

again me. No thank you. Sir,

44:16

have you ever felt the delicate thrill of a

44:18

snow globe in your hand? Do I look like

44:20

I'm shopping? So,

44:24

some of our commodity trades turned out

44:26

to be dog's breakfast and the fun

44:28

is now 15 points underwater. Ugh, could

44:31

be better, but it's like I always

44:33

said, dogs don't hunt alone. They hunt

44:35

in packs. They're obscene. Clearly if one

44:37

dog suffers a horrific loss while trading

44:39

wheat features, the government has to step in and help out. Put

44:41

that tax money to good use. Oh, let

44:44

the dog just die. Some of us work

44:46

out that dog. The Viognier has to stick

44:48

together. So I sent everyone to dig deep.

44:50

Get that dog back on its feet. No

44:52

dog left behind. Lord,

44:55

they must. It's a waggy

44:57

tail out. Another telegram for you

45:00

Mr. Ward. Oh, what now? 60

45:05

bridges. No. 70. 44 schoolhouses.

45:07

841 roads. Stop

45:12

counting everything that's out there Henry.

45:15

Sir, sir, close your eyes. I implore you.

45:18

Miss, sir, please do not run.

45:20

We need a de-stimulating environment. We

45:22

have our own problems. Sorry. I

45:25

can see infinity. This

45:28

is Carrick in the observation lounge. Passenger

45:30

at theta level stimulation. I need sub-county

45:33

level cricket results and the weather forecast

45:35

for Aylesbury. I repeat, Aylesbury. Here,

45:41

this is for the driver's carriage. Open

45:43

up Miss Byrne. Stand back. No, let me do it. What?

45:47

I'll kick it in. I've been practising. On what? Doors.

45:49

1, 2, 3. Miss

45:53

Byrne. It worked. Stay back. No. She's

45:56

tied up the driver. Miss Byrne, we are detaining you as deputised officers

45:58

of the... Oh my

46:00

god! I told you to stay back! That's

46:03

true! Just come with us, Francis. We can-

46:05

Oh! Stop! Oh,

46:07

bloody hell. Stop

46:13

that woman! And someone go and

46:15

untie the driver! Henry! It's going

46:17

to be alright! Sir!

46:20

Sir! Hockham Trails, Newhampton by 91 runs

46:23

with 5 wickets remaining, and in the

46:25

under 19th North Pitman's Sturb versus Clovingham

46:27

was a draw. So

46:29

many viaducts. How

46:32

do they rest atop one another? Sir!

46:34

Sir! Listen to me! Madam, sit on

46:36

his chest. It will relax his heart.

46:38

Sir! The forecast for tomorrow is drizzle,

46:40

with patches of sunshine, but overall

46:42

quite grey. QUITE GRAY, SIR! STAY

46:44

WITH ME! Miss

46:48

Burn! Stop! DUCK! So, the government let

46:50

our hunt fail. A healthy dog, but

46:53

this league. Quite crooked, but an area

46:55

of capitalism itself. Or it contains the

46:57

roots of its own destruction. And that

46:59

cannot be a just society until the

47:01

worker is fully aware of their complicity

47:03

in their own subjugation. Including we work

47:05

at the fine act! We shall throw

47:07

down our pens and take up our

47:09

arms! Talk of the world! You know!

47:16

Miss, please be careful running past the- Snowglobe?

47:18

Miss Burn! Miss Burn, stop! Oh,

47:21

hello again, Sir and Miss. I

47:23

have some heavily discounted snowglobe here.

47:25

No! Duh! Devereys!

47:28

Stop that woman! What? Stop

47:31

that woman! Huh? But she's

47:33

just gone past her! Argh! Come

47:35

with us, you two! So, to

47:38

battle. But my snowman, yeah! It

47:40

just arrived! I'll buy you another

47:42

one! Oh, the sacrifices we

47:44

make for adventure! And

47:48

thus, the solution of the mystery.

47:51

The person who didn't murder George

47:54

Winston was... Dr.

47:56

Lionel Schweller! Oh! Lionel!

48:00

How could you? I'm sorry my darling.

48:02

I did it for us. Did

48:05

what? Did... D-d-d-dab

48:07

him. Well now I'm going to

48:09

go to prison! How does that help us?

48:11

I said I was sorry! Out of the

48:13

way! Look out! Please come with me, Dr.

48:15

Swale. Everyone else in here is

48:18

going to be arrested! You

48:20

can sort of just get on

48:22

with things. Alright, damn you. Naturally,

48:27

as soon as I subdued Gorn I strapped him to

48:29

the seat with the belt of every man in the

48:31

carriage. But there was still the issue of this bottle

48:33

of poison which now he'd shaken and was clearly cracking

48:35

under his own effigescence. I... Are you

48:37

still there, please? Yes, sir! Good. Now

48:40

I'm sure I don't need to tell you what to do with

48:42

a poison bomb that could go up at any moment, but my

48:44

instincts about what you know have been wrong before, so let's go

48:46

through it from the beginning. Sir. Sleeping

48:52

carriage, nearly at the end. He's back! Hello.

48:54

Sleep, do you know this half-dressed couple? No!

48:56

Get out of the way! We're in pursuit!

48:58

But we found all these towels for you.

49:00

What? That's ten! Take your pick! Please! I

49:03

don't want a towel! I want you to

49:05

get out of the way! But we have

49:07

to steal them from the steward's closet. My

49:09

fingerprints are all over it! Is there

49:11

no end to my ruination? Just

49:13

take one and forget everything you saw

49:15

here today. Fine! I'll take this one!

49:18

Now please, stand aside! Oh no! I

49:20

think that one's a bathmat! Why did you put

49:22

that one on top? They all look the same!

49:25

It'll do! Look! There!

49:28

Dry! And I don't know anything about you!

49:30

I do! You're Earl Briford

49:32

and the young Stanfield lady! Oh

49:34

god! Back

49:38

his car! End of the train! Stay

49:41

back! We just want to talk! Do you take me

49:43

for a fool? Don't make this any worse than it

49:46

already is, Miss Burn! Come with us! Never! Francis!

49:48

There's four of us and nowhere left to

49:50

run! You're out of option! A dangerous

49:52

misapprehension, Miss Antwistle. No one is out

49:54

of options until they are dead in

49:57

the ground. What a lovely sentiment, DeVries!

50:00

What are you doing? Stay where you are, Miss Burns. Please

50:02

do it! She's heading for the

50:05

roof. Looks like she means to test our metal.

50:07

The roof of the train? Are you serious, Miss

50:09

Burns? After you, Inspector. We can't chase someone along

50:11

the roof of a train. She'll get us all

50:13

killed. We can't let her get away. Get away

50:15

where? To the sky? She could have someone fly

50:17

over and pick her up for all we know. Or

50:19

she could head to the front of the train and

50:21

decouple the passenger carriages. Or she could just

50:24

wait up there until the train slows

50:26

for a station and jump off before

50:28

we're derived. Fine. She has options. After

50:30

you, Inspector. Er... There!

50:41

All here. Ah! This takes me

50:43

back. Too hot. Do not look out

50:45

to the sides. Do not look down.

50:48

We ride above the city now. Keep

50:50

your head. Halfway along the carriage already.

50:53

Stay low, everyone. Forward!

50:55

Bloody hell. See

51:02

where you are! Miss Burns, there is nowhere left

51:04

to go. Come with us. You will

51:06

be dealt with fairly. We are here.

51:09

Bridge or home? Stay low. Is

51:11

there... something standing on

51:13

the bridge? There is something standing on the

51:15

bridge. What is that? No. No.

51:18

If I had to guess... There is no need

51:20

to guess. No. It's running to the other side.

51:22

It will aim to match our speed. It's going

51:24

to jump down. Finally. I will meet you.

51:27

No. Ah!

51:33

A black dot! The beat

51:35

is impossible. Your music is in its

51:37

top. It's all over! The beat is

51:39

coming away! I love the band! You

51:41

have won it with water. It

51:44

will be twelve feet long. Let

51:47

go of me, Miss Burns. Debris, you're trained for

51:49

this. Debris? She.

51:52

You can't spare a jute! Debris!

51:54

What's wrong with him? Nothing's

51:57

wrong with him. She's just finding the speed. Take

52:00

him, can't miss it with us! Oh,

52:02

my God! She doesn't get us all!

52:04

Get off me, shoot it, Kara! I

52:06

said, end with us! You

52:08

cannot treat... ...Hate the dark!

52:13

Fire! Fire

52:18

again! He's

52:22

not doing anything! Is he fully proofed? No!

52:25

Not in a world where you've sought it! No! He

52:29

is not! He's really here!

52:31

Cut! I've had thrift about enough

52:33

of this! What are you

52:35

doing? Result 100% guaranteed, Miss Ex-Wister.

52:39

I've turned tight in the setting. What? Look

52:43

here, you gossip car! Give

52:46

old God, you cudd! Ahh!

52:59

This episode of Victoriosity featured

53:02

Tom Crowley as Inspector Sleek, Layla

53:04

Kiteeb as Clara Entwistle, and Peter Ray as

53:07

the narrator. Gertrude Babworth-Tone was played

53:09

by Sarah Bernell-Piper, Pitt Goodwin was Baron

53:11

de Vreese, and Susan Harrison

53:13

was Frances Byrne. Chief Inspector Keller and

53:16

Searle were played by Chris Bumden,

53:19

Mark Siderman was the director of the film, and Peter

53:21

Withers was the director of the film. Peter Withers was the director of

53:24

the film, and Peter Withers was the director of the

53:26

film, Mark Siderman

53:28

was Robert, Will Payne played

53:30

the gyratory tour guide, and

53:32

Adam Cawton was Inspector Bouvet, with

53:35

Ben Keaton as Herbert the telegraph operator,

53:38

and Andy Seaton as the Cambridge Don.

53:41

Additional voices by Lan Gwynne, Lucy

53:44

Farat, Pitt Goodwin, Sarah Bernell-Piper,

53:47

Elizabeth Campbell, Nathan Peter-Grassy,

53:50

Gemma Arrowsmith, Philip Cotterell,

53:52

Adam Cawton, Duncan Wilkins, and

53:55

Christian-Jenna Sudsens. The

53:57

sound designers were Amber Devereaux, Dominic

54:00

Hargreaves and Odin Orne Hilmartham.

54:03

The Beast was created by Amber Devarim. The

54:06

Toyo Savi is written by Kristin Jen Sudden, produced

54:09

by Dominic Hargreaves and directed by

54:12

Nathan Peter Grassy with original music by

54:14

John Owen. The programme

54:16

was recorded at Evolution Studios and

54:19

the production manager was free-range

54:21

bigger lily farmer Elizabeth Campbell.

Rate

Join Podchaser to...

  • Rate podcasts and episodes
  • Follow podcasts and creators
  • Create podcast and episode lists
  • & much more

Episode Tags

Do you host or manage this podcast?
Claim and edit this page to your liking.
,

Unlock more with Podchaser Pro

  • Audience Insights
  • Contact Information
  • Demographics
  • Charts
  • Sponsor History
  • and More!
Pro Features