0:00

Thanks for supporting the Fable and Folly

0:02

Network. Here's another show we

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know you'll love. I

0:07

got this really strange email last night.

0:10

I need to see what's going on with this mystery

0:12

file. Hey, it's a map of

0:15

a town called Ocean Bay. Someone

0:17

sent these images to you for a reason.

0:21

I'm so lost right now. When

0:23

was the last time you chose a direction

0:25

and followed it? I'm

0:27

going to Ocean Bay. We

0:31

don't get many tourists this time of year. Ocean

0:34

Bay is a friendly town, but we're not

0:37

that friendly. I never sent

0:39

you an email. I don't even know you.

0:42

And why exactly are you here? The

0:45

map is the reason we're here. Maps

0:48

help when you're lost. Do

0:50

you know what a trap street is? Trap

0:52

streets aren't real. They don't

0:54

exist. Don't trust anyone unless

0:57

they give you a reason to trust them.

1:00

I think he's dead. How could

1:02

so much damage happen to a human body in such

1:04

a short period of time? What the

1:06

hell is going on here? From

1:09

the creators of Strange Air,

1:11

this is Trap Street.

1:13

So maps can have secrets. Yes,

1:17

maps can have secrets. Follow

1:19

and hear new episodes of Trap Street

1:22

anywhere you listen to podcasts. Out

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& Folly Plus is a new way to

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Where the Stars Fell, The Call

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of Cthulhu, Plus, early

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access to new episodes of Midnight

2:03

Burger. All still

2:05

entirely ad-free. Okay,

2:13

when Two doesn't show up for duty, I

2:16

know something's wrong. He may be

2:18

a tour guide, but he's my tour guide.

2:21

And if anyone is hurt, a hair? A

2:24

reasonable equivalent? There's going to be hell

2:26

to pay. As

2:29

the day lost its feeble grip on

2:31

the last of the sunlight, and

2:34

night sauntered in like it knew

2:36

this song was about it, didn't

2:38

it? Didn't it? We

2:40

were no closer to figuring out where the

2:42

scientists had disappeared to, and who

2:45

had disappeared him. Colin Smith,

2:47

or Red, as he called himself,

2:50

led the pack like sea biscuit at

2:52

the Belmont Stakes against a field of

2:54

rocking horses, in my opinion.

2:57

But considering who was holding the gun at

2:59

whom, my opinion

3:01

didn't count for much right now. Assuming

3:04

my boss has already started

3:06

a narration in that hunky,

3:08

oddly-horned head of his, I'll

3:11

take it over. I

3:13

knew the boss was I in red for the big

3:15

bad, probably in a stupid

3:17

racehorse metaphor, but a voice

3:19

in my head kept saying, No, not

3:22

red. And that

3:24

voice had the three nephews of sexy

3:26

going for it. Husky,

3:28

dusky, and musky, with

3:31

an English accent, just for kicks. I've

3:35

never worried about the boss losing his perspective

3:38

before, but suddenly I

3:40

wasn't sure he was seeing so

3:42

clearly. Oh

3:47

goodness, the party's out here. Detective

3:51

Dr. Donner. Sorry

3:55

about the mess in your office, Detective.

3:57

What did you do to my boys?

4:02

I made them an offer

4:04

they couldn't refuse. Oui!

4:13

What offer was that? Dye

4:15

standin' up or dye sittin' down? I

4:18

better call the cleaners. Hey!

4:22

I'm trying to threaten people here. You

4:24

mind? No, you

4:26

go on. Jesus! Hang

4:28

on. I thought you were

4:30

a cop in this episode. Oh,

4:33

gotcha. Okay. Hoes

4:35

about you make your way over here with that mop

4:37

and bucket. And

4:39

a gun. Dammit, that was my protection

4:41

squad. It

4:45

was time for me to make my move. A

4:47

move Mrs. S. had made easier by

4:49

taking out Red's thugs, but also harder

4:52

by putting Red on high alert. He

4:55

had a reputation for having

4:58

a twitchy trigger finger and

5:00

a shoot-now-questions-are-for-peasants attitude. This

5:03

was going to take some finesse. Red,

5:06

I believe they call you. You and I need

5:08

to have a bit of a natter. Uh-oh.

5:10

How do we? There's

5:13

no one in this tawdry

5:15

little drama familiar with badinars.

5:18

If you want witty rebar-tay, you're barking

5:20

up the wrong dick there. Close my

5:22

eyes. Ladies, if I may. Red,

5:25

a man who was very important in this

5:27

lady's life worked for you. About

5:30

a year ago, he disappeared only to

5:32

crop up in some newspaper pictures from

5:34

40 years ago. Looking

5:36

the same as he does now. He's just

5:38

as dishy and delicious. He

5:42

did drink rather a lot, but presumably

5:44

not enough to be pickled for the

5:46

last 40 years. So,

5:48

Red, spill or

5:51

be spilled if you catch me? I am

5:53

very rich and very powerful. But

5:57

even I am not capable of time travel. Yeah.

6:02

I'm afraid I tunes. And

6:04

as I have the God. I'm

6:07

afraid no one can help

6:09

you either. Says we don't

6:12

have dancer T V ret

6:14

you're under arrest and I

6:16

got like five six. Hang

6:19

on. Larry Days

6:21

of Semi. Believe.

6:24

Is. Harry out there. Oh harry.

6:26

Sex. I got six guy that a

6:28

are so you're sort out a lot to

6:30

him and I knew I heard skulking essays

6:32

it. But here's the thing. Doctor

6:35

Bomb half didn't travel back in

6:37

time. He's been held hostage in

6:39

the said in Indiana for the

6:41

last year in some weird project

6:43

for Gated Galaxies corporations and Boston's.

6:45

But what about the newspaper clippings?

6:47

The work of the Bad: As

6:49

new in town, I'm sorry, the

6:51

work of the newest Bambee in

6:53

town. Say hello to the forger

6:55

known as. The. Zebra.

6:58

Saw their black and white. A

7:00

d Take these hang herself. It's

7:03

really hard family members so close together.

7:05

As officer, could you possibly call

7:08

off your crew? Oh sorry yet,

7:10

they're very affection. Also. You're

7:12

under Arrest. Or.

7:17

Aurora. Oh. Dammit.

7:21

Somebody help me up. And

7:24

the bad news. How do you know the reason is?

7:26

Had a. Cinnabon, Deal

7:28

Boots is a clean. This is

7:30

clearly of says rodeos. That

7:32

seals are necessary. sorry.

7:35

Loot Dr. Van Heebie Jeebies has been

7:37

shot into space late in a space

7:39

ship or like lot of a key

7:42

does it. Really does

7:44

have manned spacecraft? Yeah! It's

7:46

more complicated than that. Is.

7:49

Also, about two hundred years ahead of us

7:51

on. Have nothing to

7:53

do with gated Galaxies. All the

7:55

kidnapping of the German sausage by

7:58

and I think the quick. The

8:00

question is, why are you here

8:02

holding a gun to folks investigating a crime you

8:04

claim to have nothing to do with? Red's

8:07

eyes narrowed and I knew I was onto something.

8:09

I think you're onto something. Shoot, did I say

8:11

that last bit out loud? Thank you, pardon? Oh,

8:15

narrating, huh? Yeah. I tried

8:17

that in the last noir I did. Someone

8:19

from the Ron Howard something something issued a

8:21

cease and desist order. Weird, because

8:23

he wasn't even born till 54. Boys

8:26

are done comparing notes. We still got

8:28

a mystery to solve. Yes, you know,

8:30

I would rather like to know if

8:33

that dizzy hunk of a doctor is

8:36

still alive. Ahem, I'm

8:38

right here. Goodness. How

8:41

do you and your ego fit under

8:43

one lab coat? It's not easy. What do

8:45

you have in there? A lab coat. I

8:47

couldn't help but smile as the lady in

8:49

black slipped a barb under Dr. Theo's saddle.

8:52

He might ooze pheromones like Cupid

8:55

sliding out of some naughty naryad's

8:57

giant clam before Neptune wakes up.

9:00

Judging from my boss' archdiabro

9:02

and slightly simpering expression, I

9:05

should probably cut in. The boss

9:07

was definitely getting attached to our client,

9:09

and that was a problem for a bunch of

9:11

reasons. Not sure what there is

9:13

left for us to do. I'm a beat

9:16

cop in the Bronx. Space is a little out of my jurisdiction. Dated

9:19

galaxies isn't. They're headquartered just a few

9:21

blocks away. Great. Into

9:23

the viper's nest. You'll never get

9:25

past the front desk. Ooh, I

9:27

know how. Sending an undercover

9:29

temp. No way, Donna. It's too

9:31

dangerous. What did I say about paternalistic condescension?

9:34

Sorry. I'll

9:36

just mosey on over and invite myself in.

9:38

They must have dozens of temps going in

9:40

and out every day. They won't notice an

9:42

extra. Are you quite certain

9:44

about this, Donna? I mean, paternalism

9:47

aside, it is dangerous.

10:00

The To American Spectator

10:02

Hear me complaining? Hang

10:04

on. How. Like sending in

10:06

an amateur with alpaca. See that,

10:08

sir. Of

10:11

odd years for the as funny

10:14

as. Kits that that the

10:16

as yeah. Supply.

10:23

Know us since fella. With

10:26

only thing as he got an employee, there's

10:29

no matter. How much. I

10:34

hardly think one round of

10:36

boxing lessons qualifies un. Twist

10:38

your topic attracts Chance and Tommy Blood.

10:40

I'm looking for. Hey.

10:43

Into one Tonka. Oh

10:45

yeah, Rick. How

10:47

are you plan? Plan A

10:49

Serious plans. Disabling

10:52

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10:55

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10:57

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10:59

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11:30

Today. Plan.

11:32

Plan A serious player, a big.

11:34

Manila folder Stamps. In a serious

11:37

plans said we don't know what you're looking

11:39

for donor. Reserved. A Hope You

11:41

know it when you see a great. Disability

11:44

don't let users Suits. Your

11:47

up in a scares soldier be at set

11:50

to strong but not very. Early yet

11:52

said seventy angle. I headed out

11:54

which he to hq. Was

11:56

in a hurry to get in the air and have a

11:58

look see that even in May. The noticed that

12:00

a had a shadow. Of Wilma

12:03

we black last sad of were

12:05

snowed ever so see reburial agree

12:07

T E or a smoke and

12:09

class privilege. I couldn't

12:11

worry about her right know though,

12:13

despite my cavalier tone with the

12:15

boss, getting folks are taught to

12:17

me was gonna be dangerous. Security.

12:21

And let wouldn't say.

12:26

I can possess these replacement for

12:28

the C E O's personal assistant.

12:30

Immune of. Justice. I suspect as

12:33

a kid is I pointed. Update

12:35

us elevators and. Will time now and

12:37

on. a beer class. Completely uninterested. In

12:39

me I knew feels like seat to

12:41

went through assistance like kids to halloween

12:43

candy and i figured the idea care

12:46

that he i could sell. Soda.

12:48

Speed. Oh

12:52

higher up the wrestling is

12:54

updated. Spot been and introduced.

12:56

By now man of madam, you can't

12:59

go. We now. Have

13:01

Yards has savers. More

13:04

is about this woman

13:06

in here? Oh yeah.

13:09

Receptionists? Did you should probably

13:11

replace their for being negligent. Fortunately,

13:13

I just happened to be

13:15

available. Worth Use me sweetie!

13:20

Well, I'll be brief. A half

13:22

shell lose. Sounds like a lovely

13:24

summary afternoon to me, but not

13:27

legal for another. Eight years.

13:29

Now your day book says you got

13:31

a months and date with someone named

13:33

Chris Dodd or O'brien. So you basket.

13:35

The L. Ron Hubbard

13:38

young woman. I don't work

13:40

with employees whose names I

13:42

don't even know. Seriously. Okay,

13:44

that lady over there, what's

13:46

her name or where I.

13:48

They are sell out with the i'm full of

13:50

manila thought this I'll make this when easy for

13:52

yeah if I were to print out his name.

13:54

On a label maker? What

13:57

letter word. I start west.

14:00

To your point, it's made no need to drill

14:02

it in like a sea snail on a muscle!

14:04

This fella used a lot of ocean-based

14:06

metaphors. Plus he had seahorses on

14:08

his tie, and his cufflinks were

14:10

tiny gold anchors. All

14:12

right, sailor boy. Two can play a that

14:14

game. Now, who are you? And

14:17

who sent you? I'm Donna! Sent

14:20

by Gold... Lagoon Temps! And

14:22

here to scrape the barnacles off

14:24

and get G2 ship shape. Hmm...

14:28

Well, I like the cut of your

14:30

jib, Drop Teal! Donna? Are you sure

14:33

Drop Teal sounds right? I'm sure. You're

14:35

gonna be late for your lunch, sir.

14:37

Why, it's only seven bells, Drop Teal.

14:39

It's a long drive. Well, I suppose

14:41

I could skip down to the waterfront

14:44

briefly. I've been working on this new

14:46

idea about oceans and the secrets of

14:48

the universe. Yeah, right. Well, you go

14:50

find a conch shell, Ben. I

14:53

bet it'll tell you everything. Very well.

14:56

I'll bring you back some, uh,

14:58

fairy shrimp, shall I? Oh, that

15:00

sounds delicious. Are beautiful.

15:02

Whatever. Excellent! Casting off!

15:05

Shift colors! Oh... According

15:10

to the semaphore flags that accompanied

15:13

his departure, the admiral was headed

15:15

to the nearest ocean access. I

15:18

figured I had some time before he figured out his

15:20

lunch date was actually scheduled for

15:22

tomorrow. I quickly answered around, he

15:24

said. The coast was clear, and I ducked

15:27

into his office. But

15:31

I wasn't alone. Goodness. You were a rather

15:33

long time. How did you get in here?

15:35

Dumb waiter. He has a dumb waiter in

15:37

his office? No, no, no,

15:39

that was my disguise, yes. I

15:42

bought him a croissant and pretended it was

15:44

meant for his receptionist. He

15:46

doesn't approve of his subordinate's

15:49

eating, so he commandeered it

15:52

as I planned. And then he just let

15:54

you stay? Oh, dear. Are

15:56

you at all familiar with the

15:58

art of disguise? I'm here

16:00

disguised as a Tampa entire. Issue

16:04

Say Anything. To

16:07

do. You

16:30

familiar with the fiddle least says

16:32

maneuver. Move I signed. It

16:35

works better than the modern bamboo

16:37

strategy. I got tired of being

16:39

battered new. oh well. the shoes

16:41

I've ruined for that one night

16:43

and I see what Tim Hortons

16:45

got. an. Answer

16:49

to that Everybody loves a montage.

16:51

Unfortunately those are tricky and audio

16:53

so let me explain what's happening.

16:55

They're going to a large data

16:57

manila envelope, changing position, a new

16:59

shares facing, drinking bad coffee, adjusting

17:01

the life having ah ha moments

17:03

the turn out to be dead

17:05

ends and arguing over the best

17:07

friend to pretend to be when

17:09

someone enters unexpectedly. Until

17:11

finally. You've

17:15

been putting the milk teeth into

17:17

not cool haven't to what you

17:20

got. The Air London School.

17:22

But if looks. Suspicious

17:25

businesses. I

17:28

think rent might be able to help from

17:30

ten ghoulish. Around the

17:33

station. Ah looks like

17:35

will be you're hauling another

17:37

reserved for those who ever

17:40

plants fire damage rights Fi

17:42

I know you're the come

17:44

on out same right here

17:46

of those are our schools

17:49

would say Mad Skills Ms

17:51

Now suppose you tell me

17:53

what it is your after

17:56

about. First you tell me how you

17:58

knew I was at Temp. Oh, well,

18:00

since you'll be dead by the time

18:02

retreat plays, I suppose there's no harm.

18:05

It was the shrimp. Shrimp?

18:07

I offered you fairy shrimp.

18:09

Any devotee of the wisdom

18:11

of the ocean knows that

18:13

fairy shrimp are fresh water

18:15

beasts. Brine shrimper imbued with

18:17

the wonder of saltwater! Dammit,

18:19

I always get caught out

18:21

by the shrimp. Now, before

18:24

I have you dragged across the barnacles

18:26

on the bottom of my ship, why

18:29

did I catch you rifling through

18:31

my papers? Because you're not

18:33

very good at keeping quiet. Naughty

18:39

Neptune's nether! Where did you

18:41

come from? Never mind. Um,

18:45

I hit you quite hard. Uh, how are

18:47

you still so chatty and conscious?

18:50

Oh, I think you'll find that cane

18:52

is very special. I do

18:54

hope you haven't destroyed its unique

18:57

properties. Hand it over. Ah,

18:59

I don't think so. Uh, thank you. Um,

19:01

take my hand, Donna. Quick, and hold

19:04

tight to that folder. What are you

19:06

doing? Madam, in the name of

19:08

Poseidon's pretty pink pearls, I demand

19:10

you hand over that cane. Oh,

19:13

not. Ta-ta! Hooray,

19:16

we've escaped. Two. His

19:19

outer arthas. Yes. Well, it's

19:21

a start. Um, uh, come

19:24

along. Right, running. I'll see

19:26

you flocked! Keel hog! Well, then you'll

19:28

walk the plank only to be retrieved

19:30

in the nick of time for me

19:32

different supper and splotch all over again!

19:36

Tiafella does have some lungs on him. Yeah,

19:38

well, good. Uh, is he always

19:41

this big sainted on ocean metaphor? Come

19:44

on! Back

19:46

at the Goldilocks detective agency. Donna

19:49

and our client showed up, still in

19:51

one piece. Of each,

19:53

that is. They weren't, like, fused together

19:55

already. I saw they'd managed to gain

19:57

a manila folder, a cane, and a

20:00

and a crew of thugs hot

20:02

on their sensible wartime heels. Alright,

20:04

what's going on here? Oh, Jesus!

20:07

Hey, Jax! Run away! One flash of

20:09

the cops' badge and suddenly the thugs

20:11

were just a running club out for

20:13

an afternoon jog. But you could miss

20:15

the malice in their leader's eyes. Red

20:18

had a score to settle and if Mrs.

20:20

Sheffield didn't feel the heat, well, she's made

20:22

of less flammable material than I. Well, Red

20:24

and his boys are on the run. The

20:26

Chief is telling me to let him go.

20:30

Yeah, even if we could get him on kidnapping

20:32

and assaulting an officer. Small beads

20:34

compared to what we have planned. So

20:36

they're free. For now. We

20:39

knew where the missing doc had disappeared

20:41

to and there was no murder to

20:43

solve. So we chalked this one up

20:45

as a victory, though nobody felt much

20:47

like celebrating. We wandered over

20:49

to the three-headed hound and knocked

20:51

back whiskey instead of champagne, but

20:54

after a couple of glasses, no one

20:56

was complaining. So, what's your next

20:58

step? I have ideas.

21:01

I might see if I

21:03

can catch a ride to find the good doctor.

21:05

In space? 200 years

21:08

in the future? If you give credence

21:10

to what you're hearing, that is. Yeah. Well,

21:12

still, that means I have time

21:14

to do a bit of

21:16

research. I really need

21:18

a catchphrase here. Never

21:21

mind. Toot toot! What

21:24

the Hades? Yeah, that cane is

21:27

weird. I reckon we'll be seeing it again.

21:30

I'm relieved you're back safely, Donna.

21:32

Yeah, it was as close as my boss has

21:34

ever gotten to revealing his feelings for me.

21:37

But every now and again, like

21:39

now, I see a twinkle in his

21:41

eye. He may be one

21:44

hoof short of a satyr, but if

21:46

that smile on his face is any

21:48

indication, we'll be romping

21:50

through the pastorals before a too

21:52

long. I've spent my long career searching,

21:55

always searching, for

21:57

disappeared doctors, philandering spouses,

22:00

embezzled funds, kidnapped

22:02

purebreds, smuggled ancient

22:04

artifacts. But just now, as

22:07

I gazed into the deep green eyes

22:09

of my secretary, I wondered

22:13

if I'd been searching the world over when

22:16

everything I'd ever wanted was right here under

22:18

my nose. She

22:21

leaned forward, meeting my

22:23

gaze intently. And

22:26

you have spinach for lunch. You've

22:29

got half a salad bar in your front

22:31

teeth, boss. We

22:33

have time. Aww. Okay,

22:36

I gotta make the credits quick. Two is

22:38

still missing, and it's not like I can

22:40

put posters on light poles here. If you

22:42

see him, shoot me a tweet at oz9narrator

22:45

nextgen on Twitter, will you? You've

22:47

been listening to Lee Shackleford as

22:49

Pluto, Bonnie Brantley as Donna, Sarah

22:51

Golding as Mrs. Sheffield, Tim Sherburn

22:53

as Cullen, David S. Deer as

22:55

Dr. C.O. Verome, Eric

22:58

Perry as John. Kevin Harris-Greg with

23:00

station guest Barb Killian as the

23:03

Admiral, and I'm Chris-Ned Elle-Gorley,

23:05

your narrator. Many thanks

23:07

to one of our favorite podcasts, Mission

23:09

Rejected, for loaning us the character of

23:11

the Admiral. If you haven't already, be

23:13

sure to add Mission Rejected to your

23:15

list on your podcatcher of choice. Our

23:18

music is composed and performed by John

23:20

Faley. Lucas Elliot creates our artwork. Sarah

23:22

Golding is our dialogue editor. Shannon

23:25

Perry is our sound designer. Oz9n is

23:27

written by Shannon Perry. Oz9n is a

23:30

proud member of the Fable and Folly

23:32

Network. Be sure to check out all

23:34

the great shows at fableandfolly.com. See

23:37

you next time, space monkeys! Keep looking

23:39

at the stars! And if you spot

23:41

two floating around up there, win them towards home,

23:43

will you? Thanks

23:50

for watching! The

24:02

Stable and Falling Network, where

24:04

fiction producers flourish. The

24:30

Stable and Falling Network, where fiction

24:32

producers flourish.