0:02

Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every

0:05

new fast food creation to let you know if

0:07

you need it. We sure needed it this

0:09

week, and you probably do too. I'm your

0:11

host Michael Jones alongside my co-host Jordan

0:13

Sweers. Michael, let me stop you right

0:15

there. We don't have time to

0:18

waste on this crap. This garbage he wrote

0:20

five years ago. What are you doing? You

0:22

know what? We're throwing the script out. There's

0:24

too much stuff to talk about. The

0:27

fiasco as Michael keeps calling it that

0:29

we just went through. What are you

0:31

talking about? To get these... go ahead.

0:34

Subway sidekicks? That's what they're called? Listen.

0:36

Yeah. Oh. What the

0:39

fuck? No! I'm in

0:41

a fucking tornado! Why?

0:43

I was told it would be

0:45

off when we started. Also

0:47

it is worth pointing out that the prank, the... what do

0:49

we even call it? A prank? The

0:52

fast one that Michael pulled on Eric by taking a picture

0:54

of the sheet. He did. Then he was reading off his

0:56

phone. Yeah. It wasn't so

0:58

much a prank because I knew it would annoy him. Yeah.

1:00

Well he wasn't paying attention so I had to point

1:02

it out. Jordan pointed... so it was really... you guys

1:04

were in on it together. In cahoots if you will.

1:06

In on it together. I just knew what was happening

1:08

and I knew what needed to happen. We were in

1:10

passive cahoots. You didn't even plan it? No. Yeah. I

1:12

just saw him doing it and I was like, we

1:14

can make this more complicated. I

1:17

could take the picture and send it to you. Anyway,

1:21

we went to Subways. Subways,

1:25

plural. Mm-hmm. Because

1:27

it took two to get everything. We

1:29

interviewed the Subway sidekicks. That's what

1:31

they're called. Sounds like a superhero.

1:34

Subway... yeah. Uh-huh.

1:37

First audition right there. Hang

1:40

on. Give her time. She's eating icing off a

1:42

cupcake. That she doesn't want. That she does. Well,

1:45

I had already looked at it once. I had to go in for the kill.

1:48

You did the kill. What was I going to do? Put it back? No.

1:50

Throw it away. Out of gas. I don't

1:52

know. But you're just eating the icing. When

1:54

she's done eating, licking the icing off the

1:56

cupcake, she'll throw it away. There's no

1:58

way she could have known it was right. No, it

2:00

was red velvet. How could she have known the

2:03

red cake was no indicator I can see it

2:05

right But that's what you look at things before you

2:07

pick them up and eat them It's our licking them,

2:09

but people don't want you to touch them and I

2:11

put them back You don't need to touch it and

2:13

look it was sitting in a box where you could

2:15

not see anything but the icing Well, I

2:17

guess I just want to say I was over there and I

2:19

look you can see I don't like to

2:21

point out She went

2:23

for this cupcake after we've eaten churro

2:30

and Nick

2:35

was like And

2:39

she fucking That's

2:42

that's also worth pointing out that also Nick

2:44

got right right But

2:46

wisely if he and he would have and he would have

2:48

been just fine if he would have just if you would

2:50

Have stayed quiet and in the corner. He would have no

2:53

stray bullets over to Nick It would have been fine.

2:55

We would have just focused on Gracie, but he had

2:57

to go Nick didn't speak

2:59

up. I wouldn't have this. Well, okay. I

3:01

wouldn't know they were there. I don't

3:04

even know what who's getting blamed for what?

3:08

Right now in trouble. I don't know. I don't

3:10

well without Nick well They

3:14

really are just The

3:16

siblings are fighting. It's like the Google home and

3:18

the the Alexa talk. Oh, yeah I

3:22

will say I think I think you pointed it out when

3:24

we got back here in the cupcake fiasco Part

3:26

of the entire field what happened a fee

3:29

and you just said it used to be

3:31

that the gremlins were on the outside of

3:33

Yeah, I said now the gremlins are

3:35

in the show Yeah, and while not

3:37

a majority in numbers, I would say

3:39

the vocal majority of the show is

3:41

now run by gremlins Yeah, yeah, the

3:44

inmates are running the asylum. Yeah It's

3:47

like we win until society breaks down

3:50

right and then they realize why gremlins

3:52

aren't in charge well, you know It's

3:56

going coming it's going the subway and

3:58

ordering five of each Things and then

4:00

one of the girls going six six

4:02

six and then and then not realizing that

4:04

the guy is saying they don't have The

4:06

pretzels yeah Then Michael

4:09

going no gracey. They don't have She

4:12

still reigns victorious. It's a whole remember

4:14

when the thing When

4:17

it was the four of us early

4:19

on yeah, I would be like everyone

4:21

has to get one that's crazy now

4:24

We need more than yeah, yeah, now.

4:26

We're doing more than the number People

4:28

need to so let's rewind this all

4:30

the way making the icing and by

4:32

the icing like a little chipmunk There's

4:37

so much ice But you

4:39

have to look at the idea of you

4:41

eating just the icing is insane right? I

4:43

would throw the flavor. I want you had

4:46

a churro You

4:48

think about it being a table and

4:50

a cookie and you are now chipmunking

4:52

away at this icing like it's a

4:54

nut now

4:58

Let's let's rewind this whole thing because

5:00

what I thought The

5:03

thing was gonna be that we talked about the

5:05

most on this episode that was goofy Yeah, was

5:08

Michael wrote his one wheel, but I didn't ride

5:10

goofy. No no you did a great job You

5:12

what is it just standard do left foot for

5:14

which I guess is standard if you're right-handed We

5:17

saw him on the street, so we all got

5:19

here, and then Michael went I'm pretty tempted to

5:21

just write my one little boy very close Yeah,

5:24

and then he did it and I anticipated that

5:26

being the funny goofy thing that would be like oh, okay

5:28

We'll get this food, and then we know whatever whatever It

5:32

it is something that we almost don't even need to

5:34

talk about yeah I was gonna one wheel back that

5:36

happened and I was gonna film it and then it

5:38

was like gotta go to another subway So I just

5:40

threw it in your trunk So

5:45

we went to a subway by the way Michael

5:47

beat us there. Oh yeah, I did you're quick

5:49

We we saw you on the on the corner

5:51

of Berkman

5:53

Berkman yeah, and I thought

5:55

we could see you like waiting for the light

5:57

to change you were like no This is gonna

5:59

take So you just kept going oh he's

6:01

gonna go down keep going and then wait

6:03

down to the neighborhood street You just jaywalk

6:05

yeah, yeah, dude. It's like the thing is

6:07

great like walking Like

6:10

there are no rules you just go

6:12

faster than you're not you're not a vehicle You're not

6:14

a hold it to like a bike or

6:16

like shit That's like it gets me there fast,

6:19

but I can't do stuff you're like a super

6:21

power It's kind of you are you're a super

6:23

powered walking person when you have a one-wheel and

6:25

so you just like stop signs They're more you

6:27

slow down, and then you go through them to

6:29

science When we passed you

6:31

when we saw you like go down the street. I was

6:33

like okay. Well. He's just gonna go a long way Mm-hmm.

6:35

I thought for sure we were gonna beat you But

6:38

it turns out like the fact that you can

6:41

keep going like a steady 14 to like right

6:43

miles an hour That's like the

6:45

average speed when you're going through like a 30

6:47

mile an hour like area But

6:49

there's lots of stops it kind of evens out. Yeah,

6:51

even out. Yeah, did you have to run away through

6:53

the CC fence

6:57

Or one wheel through the fence. I mean

6:59

I don't think you went that way he's gay

7:01

No, I mean I went through like the ramp

7:03

where the cars driving the back For

7:06

like I think around where your small wife got blown

7:09

up. Yes, I went yeah, you were right around there

7:11

Yeah, and what what happened and one of the reasons

7:13

we took so long is it was this one? This

7:17

spinning up the other one going you won't go CC.

7:19

You won't go see Okay, that was

7:21

all happening while the car was looking the gate. Oh look

7:24

at the gate. No it slowed me down In

7:29

front of the subway before I parked I didn't see

7:31

Michael there no that could have been the different Yeah,

7:33

man. I pulled up and assumed you guys were inside

7:35

Well we we got there right I think right when

7:37

you did and they got out of the car I

7:39

didn't cross the first street right outside of the office

7:41

so that was all before we got to the subway

7:43

Yeah, that all it means nothing. Yeah. Yeah, then we

7:46

walked in and everything changed Walked

7:49

up there were a couple people in line not a lot of

7:51

people there for like a lunch rush three

7:54

guys who were high working at the

7:56

subway and And then

7:58

there was the main character Man

8:00

the ball you know about the ball. I'm talking about

8:02

the boss the boss is the man He's not quite

8:04

big boss yet. No, but he could be so The

8:09

guy was ready to take my order and I finished me

8:12

get a five of the churros five of

8:14

the pretzels five the cookies and the

8:16

boss arrives Bro

8:20

out of it like we got the churro and

8:23

that's it. Oh Really

8:25

yeah, yeah, man. Meanwhile screaming

8:28

in delight about the pretzels not hearing them No,

8:30

right Gracie in the background six pretzels Nick and

8:32

I are talking through what sauce is Like

8:37

about what sauce is not that they offer that

8:39

Nick might have any That's

8:42

a real conversation that was happening. He's gone. I was

8:44

like the door I was like, let's go to the

8:46

next one go to the next one and then the

8:48

boss started wheeling a deal in what he's he's like

8:50

We got the churros, but here's this and I'm like,

8:52

all right, hey, man, if that's all you got We'll

8:54

find another one. It's not a big deal and he

8:56

went I don't know if you will No

8:59

one's gonna have it. Yeah, and I'm gonna be out

9:01

every win What and he said these things came in

9:03

like three days ago We got

9:05

extras and we're like out there are people

9:08

who are coming here just getting these and

9:10

nothing else Like they're like not getting sandwiches gracie's.

9:12

There's great. They are just great The

9:15

pretzels and leaving and then it was like fuck

9:18

man, at least okay, let's get the churro

9:20

Mm-hmm, and then we'll figure out the cookie

9:22

and relaunch. Yeah, we'll do Yeah,

9:26

and then we'll figure out the rest and then so

9:28

they start kind of like working on the churros And

9:31

we're gonna get sandwiches and then the boss comes back

9:33

the boss also pointed out that This

9:36

is how it works. They get you in and then they

9:38

start buying sandwiches. Uh-huh. And that's exactly what we did It

9:40

was really the nicest way to tell us we were suckers.

9:42

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but to be fair I wanted

9:45

them before I even we left this building. That's true. Uh,

9:48

so was that tricked in any way? So

9:51

the boss comes back and he goes Here's

9:53

what I can do. He put his hands up on the counter.

9:55

It was like Look, and

9:58

there was a long pause. I'm like about

10:00

to get pitched. So they

10:04

have the cookies, but

10:07

they're the last box and they're

10:09

frozen. They would have to thaw

10:11

out in order to cook them in order to

10:13

sell them. And

10:15

he said, how do you

10:17

feel if they're a little charred on

10:19

the outside? And Michael went, whatever you

10:21

can do to get us a jank

10:24

cookie, we'll take it. Michael

10:26

was delighted by what

10:28

was happening. It's great for the show.

10:30

It's amazing. He's never going like, okay.

10:33

It went from we don't have it

10:35

to like, we have it

10:38

and it might be fucked up. We're not

10:40

supposed to do this. Best I can do

10:42

is fucked up cookies. That's the thing usually

10:44

we'll ask for. We're not supposed to do

10:46

that. This guy through no question or pressure,

10:48

nothing. Nothing. Silence. He just walks over

10:50

and goes, Hey, how about this? This guy

10:52

wanted to do this. He's been waiting to

10:54

try it. Nick pointed out that he had

10:56

Tony Stark glasses. He did. He had like

10:58

these like Dior style, like big Tony Stark

11:01

fucking glasses. It was really cool. It says

11:03

the boss. It was so grand. It was

11:05

a subway shirt. It was probably a reference

11:07

to a sandwich called the boss. It

11:09

also said Nick's thing. I'd said number six

11:11

next to the boss, but he was the

11:14

boss. He was the boss. Yeah. He was

11:16

the leader of all the stone gentlemen who

11:18

were working at that subway because the other guys

11:20

were going, how are we going to cook it?

11:22

Anyway, I watched him

11:25

walk it through. He's like, you throw one cookie in, you

11:27

hit cookie and then you scroll up and

11:30

you hit additional 10 seconds hot

11:32

timer. And the guys were like, whoa,

11:34

one at a time. And you

11:37

went one at a time. So while

11:40

all this is happening, by

11:42

the way, as we're explaining this, it's

11:44

about real time. Yeah. Yeah. We were

11:46

there a while. We're there

11:48

for about 30 or 40 minutes. There's

11:51

like no real line that's forming or

11:53

whatever until suddenly there is. Oh,

11:55

it exploded. And it's like, oh,

11:58

we need to. Get

12:00

this done. Yeah, so people with real jobs

12:02

can order we need to get out of

12:05

the way Yeah, they cooked our cookies.

12:07

They made your sandwiches and fucked them up. I

12:09

guess yeah one of the guys

12:11

one of the stone guys Picked mine

12:13

up and was and asking Michael what he wanted on

12:15

it And then Michael told

12:17

him and then I and then I looked at it

12:19

I was like asking what you want in your order,

12:21

but I was looking at the boss. Yeah, and I

12:23

got distracted. Yeah Well, I looked out after he wrapped

12:26

it up. It was like that's not my sandwich. Well,

12:28

I mean that which is in there Yeah, the boss

12:30

kept telling us to go next door to the Dollar

12:32

Tree and get vanilla ice cream Also that same guy

12:34

that fucked up your sandwich who was a stoner was

12:36

like when the boss was talking about the cookie Yeah,

12:38

I mean like we're gonna burn the shit out

12:41

of the outside because we got to make sure we cook the

12:43

inside You don't want a cold cookie and that

12:45

same stoner guy was like Your

12:54

magic anyway you wanted onion and

12:56

peppers, right? As

12:59

the sandwiches are getting made One

13:02

cookie is done and the boss brings

13:04

it over and he goes here and he hands me

13:06

like a fork and he goes I need you cut

13:08

in the middle of that because I need you to

13:10

make sure that it's hot in the middle So that

13:12

way it's not cold. Oh, they walk out of here.

13:14

It's in my name Yeah, and I just went okay

13:16

and escaped in the middle and I went piping

13:19

hot anyway. All right Started

13:21

putting the rest of them in

13:23

there. I said those cookies stayed

13:26

fucking Yeah, they

13:28

were yeah, we have healthy so

13:30

here's what happened we got churros

13:32

and cookies But no

13:34

pretzels and one of us

13:36

was the most upset. Well, we naturally naturally

13:39

we were also a little

13:41

deterred by the bosses Know

13:44

what's going on? Yeah, you know, he was

13:47

the most knowledgeable person in that subway Honestly

13:52

the most helpful restaurant worker I think

13:54

we've ever done any place we've ever

13:56

gone to I

14:00

mean grace. I mean it's not been hot.

14:02

Yeah, he wasn't even give us the food.

14:04

Yeah, it's got a rift with us Yeah,

14:07

so as we're leaving Gracie

14:10

is has already called one

14:14

Hold it. I told her I told her she could

14:16

call she immediately got on it. Yep I I go she

14:18

goes I'm gonna call another one. I go. Oh, they

14:20

didn't have it. She goes they didn't answer no subways

14:22

We're answering I

14:26

Very impressed with how fast you got on the

14:28

phone call, too I think you have to fight

14:30

yourself up now I would have been talking about

14:32

that phone call for 30 minutes I went I

14:34

went you should call and she went up here

14:36

back So we

14:38

left threw everything in the car even Michael in

14:40

the one wheel in the face and then

14:42

we throw all the food in the front and that

14:45

was smart because That one wheel

14:47

the one wheel it rolls around if you don't

14:49

wedge it or put it on like a stand

14:51

Yeah, I would have crushed the fuck at it

14:53

everything What it would have found a way it

14:55

was hitting me in the back of the seat

14:57

Which I didn't think was a thing that could

14:59

happen, but it was rolling into exactly where I

15:01

was sitting every time you stop You

15:04

can watch this on Right

15:06

along which will come out tomorrow. Yeah It was supposed

15:09

to be a short episode why we went ahead and

15:11

a lot more Yeah, because we

15:13

ended up going to another subway just

15:15

to see I feel like we yeah,

15:17

we owed it At

15:19

least one more shot Yeah After

15:23

everything we owed it to the show to try to get the

15:26

on yes on the way there and we

15:29

were hammering

15:31

Gracie for this Ordering

15:33

the pretzels on like the phone app putting in

15:35

all your info and we're going we're going to

15:37

get there And they're gonna go we don't have

15:40

those we're out. We have to refund you We

15:43

had to go Nick and Gracie wanted

15:45

some optimism. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there was no

15:47

home no optimism in that car So

15:50

we go all the way to another subway we

15:52

walk in and the guy is

15:54

like Finishing the pretzels puts

15:56

it down in like the to-go

15:59

online orders area Sex pretzels

16:01

Gracie ordered an extra pretzel for herself as

16:03

a reward Hell yeah,

16:05

I did and we got everything

16:08

on the fucking subway side menu, and

16:10

it made me go Do you think the boss

16:12

was wrong? like the

16:14

boss The boss the boss

16:17

knows what's going on in his bad guy. I think

16:19

he's just like they must have got I think somebody's

16:21

getting pretzels that fell off the back of the truck

16:23

uh We

16:26

got the pretzels we didn't get sauces

16:28

with the pretzels unfortunately Man,

16:31

and even worse Nick didn't have his sonic.

16:33

I know I was really relying on him You

16:37

didn't have mustard either no dude his

16:40

he wrote fucked up as he was screaming What

16:43

good is your sauce bag if you don't have any sauce in it?

16:46

Kind of restock dude you're

16:48

letting down your own like image. Yeah,

16:50

this is crazy your brand here

16:53

right So that was

16:55

the harrowing tale of trying to get

16:57

the fucking food from the subway get

16:59

all that got back cookie still hot

17:01

cookie from the first subway amazing piping

17:03

hot Watching

17:07

these work. I turn you at one

17:10

point. I was like they just keep

17:12

fucking burning themselves. Oh, yeah Every

17:15

time they touch the cookie Just

17:22

kept doing it what will it stop it

17:24

was never like an accident It

17:26

was they were going I don't give a fuck and I'm just gonna

17:29

grab and go fuck and throw it on the table Again

17:31

looking awesome again eating home I was like I

17:34

know it's hot, but I gotta eat all it

17:36

happened it happened Oh, I mean I happened with

17:38

the churros which they did two batches of Five

17:42

cookies every cookie, but fuck what

17:44

it happened with all your sandwiches too, which were

17:47

toasted. They just Shit

17:50

That rule these guys rule they fucking rule

17:52

do the best subway. It was

17:54

so fun whatever score I'm gonna give like

17:56

bonus time for the so with everyone else

17:59

in the store Got fucked yeah people in

18:01

front of us people behind us. Yeah,

18:03

dude. It was like right. It was like he

18:05

stopped Everything they all work there

18:07

and their five best friends Fucking

18:12

pretzels we all got him hang on hang on hang on

18:15

it looks like when you're a Love

18:17

up your friend works at the yogurt

18:19

place exactly when it was like that

18:21

And they just stop everything else you

18:23

there was eight of us Yeah, three

18:25

people working five of us Kind

18:27

of standing there, and it was just like a

18:29

fucking cafeteria One

18:33

guy waiting for his order to be

18:35

finished dude one woman behind us came in

18:37

to get one churro Yeah, and she waited through

18:39

all of that single churro So

18:44

We ordered all of it. We brought

18:46

it back those guys rocked We tipped

18:48

them on the card and then Michael

18:50

gave him another 20 bucks because

18:53

those guys Rolled and then we

18:55

thought they we found a dollar on the floor Jordan

19:02

it's the first time I've seen Jordan like

19:04

hungry where we were waiting for the rest

19:06

of the food He sat down and just

19:08

started eating his sandwich. I assumed I assume

19:11

you took a photo I didn't know how

19:13

long cookies were gonna take. Pile of shit

19:15

on that table. There's legitimately like 12 bags

19:18

Yep, yeah, that wasn't even everything.

19:21

No. No, we just started

19:23

stacking. It was awesome, dude It's

19:25

a it's a kind of a thing. We're like The

19:28

process that we went through usually that's the

19:30

customer being like is there any way

19:32

you could do this day? And they got a they got a

19:34

bend over backwards. Yeah, like I'm not supposed to

19:36

do that We're like I wanted to it was

19:38

all them Yeah,

19:42

and he's like I like you guys

19:44

there was one like you guys I

19:48

saw us getting the cookies and she was like do

19:50

you got one more like could I get one and

19:53

Then the boss like yells into the back. I

19:55

I hope this was it pop. Yes. Okay. Yeah,

19:57

he just you know pops You got one more

20:00

cookie out. You know Pops you took that cookie out like

20:02

I told you. Yeah you took that one out right. Dude

20:04

again going back to the one Churro because everything was in

20:06

a state of flux of not just do they have it

20:08

it's like are they ready to be made and sold. Yeah

20:10

and the cookies weren't for us but you know he just

20:13

burnt the shit out of them. So

20:15

like even then you'd think after they made the Churros

20:17

they got it. I watched one of the other guys

20:19

come up to him holding a single Churro. He's like

20:21

what do I do? What do I do? He really

20:23

asked him holding it. Holding

20:26

his hand with a glove. You had a glove holding it

20:28

and he's like alright here's what you do. They

20:30

just made five for us. And

20:32

he's like how do I make this one Churro? And

20:35

the guy's like no problem I got you. This is

20:37

what you do. The boss is on top of it.

20:39

I think I like Subway now. I

20:42

don't know what to do. If those guys.

20:44

The second Subway was way shittier and it

20:46

smelled worse. Yeah it smelled way more like

20:48

Subway than the other one. Weird. As we

20:51

were leaving like we were grabbing everything or

20:53

whatever. Hi Shane. The

20:56

guy was saying hey man thanks for getting

20:58

that and now our place is going to

21:00

smell like cookies the whole time. If those

21:02

guys worked at every fast food place I'd

21:04

eat way more fast food. They rock. I'd

21:07

like to know if they all decide to move

21:09

as a unit. What place are going to? The

21:12

boss gets transferred. I got to take my food.

21:14

The boss has his minions. I got to bring

21:16

pops and the crew with me. The boss! I

21:19

don't know the pops. I think the boss is just

21:21

having a good time. Oh

21:24

man. Jordan do you have a haiku? I do.

21:27

Oh this is fun. Well pale in comparison to everything

21:29

we've talked about but here it goes. Elongated

21:32

treats stretched

21:35

to the limits of space. Every

21:38

inch counts. Whoa. That's

21:40

pretty good. The way I've

21:42

been referring to all these foods just with like

21:44

people. Oh yeah we're eating like the long food

21:46

from Subway. He's got a long man.

21:49

Everyone's going like a foot long. I'm like. These

21:52

are full long. Stretched out food. Uh huh.

21:55

The churro normal churro style. The

21:57

cookie long cookie. Pretzel long

21:59

pretzel. rectangular they should yes we

22:02

should have made the the churro

22:04

and the pretzel thick like the cookie I

22:07

agree I think I think they use that

22:09

tray for all three imagine that we

22:12

definitely didn't need five cookies holy shit the

22:14

cookies insane it's so thick are you not

22:16

gonna be gremlin food this all gonna be

22:18

ground right yeah we have so much left

22:21

over like three cookies on half a pretzel

22:23

yeah why is there half

22:25

a pretzel Eric didn't finish this okay you

22:29

both didn't finish yeah I

22:31

didn't finish either here this well

22:34

you fight through it so you fight thank

22:36

you fight for it if there's no song

22:39

you fight through it if it's red velvet you just

22:41

like the I think yeah and then make Michael look

22:43

at it I have no problem you

22:46

know you're talking to you that bothers me

22:50

what was what was great was she came back

22:52

with it and

22:54

like was he making a fake

22:56

and I don't know she

22:58

said it was right or you goes red velvet yeah

23:00

I want it well because she was eating around the

23:03

chocolate chips in the cookie right she was eating around

23:05

the chocolate chip the whole cake is sitting there or

23:07

the cupcake is sitting there completely intact untouched and you

23:09

know I don't know it was red velvet and then

23:11

you go I'm sure you can put it back nobody's

23:13

I licked it I immediately

23:15

licked it I wasn't about the

23:17

double dipping incident oh that makes

23:20

perfect sense no more like we

23:22

all just decided there's no

23:24

more room for comedy it's just

23:26

reciting facts here I

23:29

would instead have a curry I was got as you're

23:31

saying I'm sure you could put it back I was

23:33

gonna make a double dipping I liked it and

23:36

then I was talking about it that's

23:38

just caused her to pick it back

23:40

up eating it again right now eating

23:42

around the chocolate chips reminded me Gracie

23:44

can you enlighten us what your roommate

23:46

does when she good everyone

23:51

shout out Alyssa hi Baker

23:56

and she has this There's

24:00

also the chip cookie recipe and every time

24:02

she makes a match see makes them cookie

24:04

with them so that it's from was watching

24:06

Twitch of Cookies or it's a. Goatee.

24:10

But it's not going over the years ago because it's

24:12

own. I, why why Why is it in a sort

24:15

of. Because there's like and. I'm

24:17

I'm not technical when making terms with see

24:19

like browns, the butter and does all these

24:21

other things that. Are specifically to a chocolate

24:23

is a different type of dough by

24:26

also. Gracie

24:28

thing sugar cookies or bad. Series

24:30

of user may they're not very good as

24:32

non their systems either typically yet effective. Yeah

24:34

and then you you put cinnamon sugar on

24:37

and he got a snickered for the ago

24:39

that I like is as long. As you

24:41

know that I don't like them, there's like I'm ever gonna go pick one

24:43

out. You think there but intriguing to

24:45

relegate. And you'll I don't know

24:47

like on I suddenly thought I see how.

24:49

He saw the i would say here's what

24:51

you do out that money was this is

24:54

on the bottom. She'll never see a common

24:56

as soon as he checks. Suits,

24:59

Actresses. Are you know

25:01

what to? As you and I know I

25:04

am Liquid Dinner Digital devices our values and

25:06

it's good. It's cream cheese and it's so

25:08

said. Thursday July. Much cookie to say that

25:10

that says I didn't. Have much of a game

25:12

I'd have had to Pretzels. Know.

25:15

She a seat on the truck which I don't think of what

25:17

my. Tongue eyes and

25:19

say right He say I was young or

25:21

old. I surfers mon you're cooking. I don't

25:23

have them. Cookie I say this a little

25:26

below yellow. You mean by where he's living

25:28

vicariously through. Know he's not. He's going to

25:30

ask for one next. Season. Ago

25:32

Now give me my attorney rub some of

25:34

your i've been on my good agreements don't

25:36

know anyone but a week ago by gay

25:39

got it edu the heard him with look

25:41

at the others algae eaters take off the

25:43

top and I was close as receive was

25:45

fine with this and he's agreeing with me.

25:49

He said maybe, but probably. Was

25:52

that worth it or easy? Is

25:54

it better than red velvet? I've. absorbed

25:57

by god thank you nicholas i was

26:00

Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup. Can we learn

26:02

about Subway? No. Ugh,

26:08

that's me. Hang

26:10

on, I gotta take a picture okay You want me to send

26:12

it to you? Oh, look, now I get

26:14

little cookie bits in my- Wow! Everyone's

26:17

looks! Everyone looks at what you get!

26:19

Everybody wins! Dude, are

26:22

you a fucking idiot? What? Me?

26:25

Our previous Applebee's episode was released August 4th

26:27

2020, where we ate the barbecue rib sandwich

26:29

and received an average score of four times.

26:33

That's crazy, we ate that at Applebee's! Fucking

26:35

hell. It must have been like something happened

26:37

with the letters, I guess. You

26:41

know, A-P-P-L-E-B. No

26:44

Gracie, I wasn't talking to you. They're

26:46

all right next to the Subway keys.

26:48

Well what happened is I was typing

26:50

Subway auto-corrected, I think. Oh, did

26:52

you mean Applebee's? Yeah. Oh,

26:55

you went to Applebee's last time, you must mean

26:57

Applebee's again. Oh man! Oh,

26:59

Google Word or whatever. Oh, okay.

27:02

I feel like we've been to Applebee's much more recently

27:04

than August 4th 2020. No, here's the

27:06

thing, the last time we went to Subway and we

27:09

talked about this on the way, it was a spit

27:11

and silly episode. That's true, we did do

27:13

that. We had the

27:15

pepperoni- The horrible marinara salad.

27:17

Yes, the pizza salad. I

27:20

can still taste it. That was terrible. Just

27:22

like you can hear Gracie scream. But

27:26

that was a lot more joyous. The

27:28

fact that we ate four in the show was 2020. Yeah

27:31

that's crazy. That's three and a half years ago. Nuts

27:35

though. And 14? That sounds

27:37

right. It was definitely right. Although

27:39

they were spotted in mid-2023, the sidekick menu

27:42

items haven't been available widely until January because

27:44

they spent a year quote perfecting the recipe.

27:46

Yeah, that's what I would say too. Well,

27:48

so when you take a bite out of

27:50

that churro you got from the Subway in

27:52

the gas station know that people who make

27:54

more money than you put their heart and

27:56

soul into making sure the person who works

27:58

at the gas station- Subway microwaves

28:00

it for the right amount of time god

28:03

bless it also that they burn the fuck

28:05

In 2017 a woman sued Subway because their

28:07

tuna contained non-tuna elements But

28:30

the soup was thrown out last year after

28:32

being DNA tested and found there was at

28:35

least some tuna In the tuna congratulations Subway

28:37

on having some tuna in your tuna. This

28:39

is truly a victory for the little guy

28:41

god bless It's gonna be a theme Another

28:45

quick fact here Jared Fogle still in jail.

28:47

Sorry sauce monkey god bless And

28:53

the final fact no where is why to

28:55

the facts dude uh the the non-tuna Tuna

29:01

is a thing that went back from 2017

29:04

till the middle of last year We're

29:07

finally resolved back and forth and

29:09

back and forth they had different DNA experts

29:11

They sent it away to these people and they went well.

29:13

There's there's no tuna This is all

29:16

pork and beef and then Subway was like no

29:18

we'll send it to our people Oh, well They

29:20

went back and forth and back and forth and

29:22

then finally it was thrown out The woman said

29:24

that she didn't want to do it anymore because

29:26

she got pregnant And then she was like

29:28

I feel like I can't be a

29:30

plaintiff in this thing I have morning sickness.

29:33

I have like I have like pregnancy

29:35

stuff. I'm talking about food. Yeah, and

29:37

subway is going like no We

29:40

have to be educated. Yep, and so

29:42

I finally got thrown out The story

29:44

reminds me real quick of how I

29:46

believe it's in Ireland Mm-hmm that subways

29:49

bread is no longer considered bread because

29:51

it does not meet the threshold of

29:55

Their definition of it has

29:57

like too much sugar in it too much sugar in it, and

29:59

it's not quite it's Qualified it's like a

30:01

dessert. Yes. Yeah, and that's just their

30:03

bread. Mm-hmm. Their bread is a dessert

30:05

Yeah, and that is uh, that's

30:08

so get a non tuna tuna

30:10

melt on Dessert bread. Yep,

30:12

I don't roll and then Just

30:15

lick some icing off a cupcake As

30:19

of 2023 subway is the largest single

30:21

brand restaurant chain and has the second

30:23

most stores in the world coming in

30:25

just behind McDonald's but ahead of Starbucks

30:28

Although second place itself subway remains the

30:30

destination for people who are hungry while

30:32

working a booth at a convention But can't spare

30:34

losing more than one person at a time So

30:36

one guy has to go get six sandwiches and

30:38

then the booth smells like subway all day Sorry,

30:40

if we signed your poster and your room smelled

30:42

like subway forever after that we should have washed

30:44

our hands, dude. God bless Packs

30:49

where's yeah, where's the nearest subway to the San

30:51

Diego convention? Oh just a couple blocks up Is

30:53

it just over the rail? Yeah, you get on

30:55

the other side of the railroad tracks. It's there

30:58

at packs It's upstairs

31:00

where the convention center is. Oh, that's

31:02

almost inconvenient That

31:04

really was the convention food

31:07

and it was man being like 23

31:11

who draws the short straw to have to go

31:13

into the subway and order six sandwiches people Garrett

31:15

because you would order the fish One and no

31:17

none of us wanted to fucking smell it. It's

31:19

not even This

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36:07

What's your regular subway order? I

36:11

don't think I have a regular one. I ordered,

36:13

I just went with turkey. They have

36:16

like the ones listed and I don't

36:18

know why it's all football themed. The

36:20

turkey titan was on there. But I

36:22

just told them I want turkey on

36:24

wheat bread please and then I just

36:26

put some stuff on it. Actually I

36:28

put some stuff on it. The

36:31

guy unwrapped it. He was about to pick the stuff off. He

36:36

was about to be staring at it going oh my god.

36:38

I want to make your life easier. You can leave that

36:40

stuff on. He literally said that. Yeah.

36:43

Yeah. For Payton. I'm just gonna put stuff...

36:47

I didn't want that stuff but I'll take

36:49

care of it. What's

36:52

your regular subway order, Michael? So

36:55

my favorite cold cut is salami and cheese. I

36:57

was just fed that as a baby and it's

37:00

like that's my comfort. But Subway is not good.

37:02

So I don't usually get that there. I like

37:04

that from like a real deli. So I'll just

37:06

usually get either cheesesteak

37:08

or tuna fish. Which are both

37:10

surprisingly fine. I

37:13

don't run to Subway but my

37:15

subway thing is like if I'm at Walmart, if I'm shopping, it's

37:17

that. And then you go oh I just spent $250 on food?

37:19

Let me buy some food on the way out. We

37:24

were about to take off and go get this stuff

37:27

for the episode. We ran into Barbara Dunkelman. And she's

37:29

like what are you guys eating? And we said oh

37:31

Subway. And she went oh. Be dunks? I love Subway.

37:33

And we went oh really? She's like yeah I haven't

37:36

been there in six years. And you guys went you

37:38

might not love Subway. I don't think you love

37:40

it but... It gets the job done. It does.

37:43

There's something about Subway that's nice if you don't

37:45

just want like a greasy burger. Subway's great for

37:47

road trips too. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly what you want

37:49

to do with your own revenue. If you don't

37:51

want to feel like a disgusting animal. Like

37:54

burping like Nick after he ate the churro. Which

37:56

makes no sense. Yeah,

38:00

yeah, I think it was on the ride along. It

38:02

was so loud. And then it was so much churro

38:04

so fast I guess but that's usually when I subway

38:07

is like I'm driving somewhere or it's at a

38:09

place I'm already at yeah, and it's it's not

38:11

good, but it's inoffensive. Yeah It's

38:14

it seems like it's just a place where everyone can get

38:16

the thing very bread

38:18

yeah, and you get out and stretch your legs because it's

38:20

not a fucking drive-through, but you have to go inside the

38:23

76 gas station or whatever in the fickin

38:27

We're dunking on the monkey But

38:30

that's a learning It's

38:33

this like, you know, we've done quiz knows

38:35

recently and everything and it's this or quiz

38:37

knows and quiz knows just is not I

38:40

don't think there's There's

38:42

no winning when you have to go to a fast

38:45

food sandwich chain. Yeah, your best

38:47

bet is a local place There's

38:49

no winning Nick Oh

38:54

I like Jersey Mike I got I got six years ago. Yeah, that's your

38:56

thing for a decade ago. Yeah I'll

39:01

give him a shot if they ever come out with something

39:03

limited. Yeah, I'm a shot. Come on Danny DeVito You want

39:05

teachers about the food? I guess don't

39:08

look at me. I'm not teaching you shit. Oh, I thought he's

39:10

done reading I'm not taking a picture of you. He's

39:12

taking pictures of himself. Yeah, I'm taking pictures of

39:14

myself. Mm-hmm He thinks he looks really

39:17

good right now. I know I agree sure myself I

39:19

never take sure you take picture of Gracie on the

39:21

monitor eating a pretzel. Yeah, that was that was very

39:23

funny And that picture Gracie holding that

39:25

holding the cupcake Holding

39:32

the cupcake in your hand. Yeah, I see it

39:34

earlier. Yeah, you were holding it like a chalice.

39:36

Yeah You were holding it

39:38

with like very like small fingers dangerous. Yeah holding it

39:40

like this For

39:43

so long that I got Eric pointed at

39:47

Then I started taking pictures send me that Post

39:50

it Teach me about

39:52

the food the footlong churro a new

39:54

Cinnabon footlong churro for two dollars is

39:56

baked to perfection Served warm

39:58

and topped with Cinnabon world-famous

40:01

Macora cinnamon and sugar Asterisk

40:05

isn't that what you like prices

40:07

and partition participation may vary. Mm-hmm.

40:09

What the fuck is Macora You

40:13

know Macora World famous

40:15

registered trademark. Yeah as

40:17

well. It must just be what Cinnabon thing

40:19

is Have you ever heard

40:21

that ever never in my life? No

40:23

world famous. Can you know the list should be shamed?

40:25

Yeah, you know we look up Mac. What

40:27

do you think it is? If you had to guess? I'm

40:32

gonna guess it's something like McCormick. It's

40:34

just a brand that does spices I've

40:36

refused to participate in these reindeer games

40:39

a water monster of Hindu religious

40:41

myth. He's in there. That is reparated Bye

41:00

My Gracie feels so powerful Barp

41:04

them up. She's linked about a third that I think she's ready

41:06

to go Penguin

41:12

of doom All

41:16

right, hit me with the hit me with an excellent foot

41:18

long pretzel the one Grayson

41:21

The anti-ans foot long pretzel

41:23

for three dollars reimagines anti-ans

41:25

buttery and salty classic sir

41:28

That sounds yeah Siden

41:31

subway honey mustard that takes each

41:33

bite to another level or not

41:36

I was not taking to another level because they didn't give us any Did

41:39

you even ask them? I didn't think

41:41

you had to but when I assumed it was in the

41:44

mouth I Assume

41:46

that yeah that they do give it to you, but

41:48

when they don't that's when you go Oh, we didn't

41:50

get in you. Well the sack of pretzels felt

41:52

pretty crazy We went all that way you

41:54

went through all that trouble and you didn't go grab the

41:56

sauce that they've definitely had here I didn't even speak to

41:59

a person. It was just There on your here's

42:01

what happened. She fucked up too

42:03

excited too soon excited hmm Next

42:06

drew a friendly face. Yeah, too

42:08

excited to that about getting Promise

42:15

Sonic cheese You're

42:21

right the gremlins are in here He's

42:30

got the fake one and we're saying nothing

42:33

and it's not it's not even jokes anymore This

42:35

is this is a real conversation of them going

42:37

back on you Obscure

42:45

reference, but you know what it really reminds

42:47

me of the old homestar runner Uh-huh

42:49

a little click and talk things they used

42:51

to have yeah, you could have a character

42:54

and they just go duh for

42:58

duh For

43:00

it's just it's just them talking to

43:02

each other like that perfect They're

43:05

just making noises and we're going yeah,

43:07

great work Wrong bad is on

43:09

point Michael's

43:18

rubbing his face off his face Did

43:26

you think that pretzel was buttery and salty? No,

43:30

not buttery but for three dollars participation in prices

43:32

may be sure what do you expect? Mm-hmm.

43:34

So long cookie. Here we go No

43:37

brand association with this one But the

43:39

footlong cookie for five dollars is back

43:41

nationwide and better than ever after popping

43:44

up in select restaurants on National cookie

43:46

day in 2022 and 2023 It's

43:50

thick gooey and packed with chocolate chips

43:53

It says it right there. Hey, you guys see the

43:56

Drake thing The

44:00

thing what thing we're calling it

44:02

now. You can just say did you see Drake?

44:07

Any more words after that I Don't

44:12

know why but I just thought of it Press

44:19

material let's do it the

44:22

introduction of sidekicks with a capital

44:24

s builds on six

44:26

decades of equity and Equity

44:32

in what in all In

44:46

all things foot Said

44:51

with a straight-faced douglas-fry president

44:53

of subway North America This

44:56

whole new category of our menu

44:58

offers subway fans something they can't

45:01

get anywhere else and Kicks

45:03

off a year of culinary innovation and

45:06

delicious new menu items 2024

45:08

may be the most exciting chapter yet in our

45:10

growth story. I don't like the way he's doing

45:13

it on purpose He is he's doing it on

45:15

purpose. I feel like the subject series like are

45:17

you mad reading this? Should

45:19

be Nick gooey footlong cookie

45:22

part of our growth story in 2024 Unrapature,

45:27

I'm sure subway thinks that

45:33

We're excited to team up with subway to

45:35

bring guests the fun and flavor of two

45:38

of our iconic brands cinnabon and auntie and

45:40

oh I

45:42

thought I thought that was the end of the quote. I'm sorry. I

45:44

miss read this And

45:46

flavor of our two are iconic brands

45:49

cinnabon and anti-ans said David Makita

45:51

president of international and retail channels

45:53

at focus brands these fan favorite

45:56

snacks will delight guests in new

45:58

craveable ways They're

46:00

owned by the same company. Yeah, okay. I guess that

46:02

makes sense. I mean it's mole food. Why couldn't they

46:04

get a Mrs.

46:07

Field cookie one. Yeah, you said you should

46:09

mall food. I said mole food I

46:15

may have missed tell me more about more Identifying

46:19

moles is gremlins the whole time

46:22

have you thought if you have a pet

46:24

mole feed them this footlong cookie and

46:26

send us a video Gremlins love moles

46:28

if moles eat around the Like

46:33

the icing off the cupcake they might what

46:35

do you say? Where's auntie and cheese?

46:38

I agree Yeah,

46:41

why did subway have to provide the honey

46:43

mustard now? Wow

46:46

now here's your ass now. Here's the thing you

46:48

should have asked. I don't care Now

46:54

you have to look at my cupcake, okay Look

46:57

you're coming. I think crazy does the fight

46:59

Michael Shattered my

47:01

body last week fucking flying down. How do you want

47:03

me to look at a cupcake? Now

47:10

imagine imagine we got

47:12

the dipping sauce oh For

47:14

the press closing my eyes. Okay. There it

47:17

is great screaming. They're not sharing Obviously

47:20

not the fuzzing does are coming hard. Whatever

47:22

you wanted. It was just near me not

47:24

facing you quadruple

47:31

Yes, you have to make yourself know in the face

47:34

Jesus Christ what now do you think it would have

47:36

do you think it would have done anything for the

47:38

press? Okay, regular humans.

47:41

Do you think it would have done anything? I

47:43

think it would have made it wet. Yeah Which

47:46

honestly desperately needed oh, yeah, but I don't think

47:48

I don't think the flavor was gonna be I

47:50

don't think it would help I've been saving the

47:52

gorgeous getting into it right yeah Oh, we're done

47:54

man. I wear it so fucking sucked pretzel was

47:56

terrible. It was the worst part bottom team Piece

48:00

shit pretzel yeah, not enough salt

48:02

no very done butter none of

48:04

butter also too thick too dense

48:07

It came in like little like

48:09

sections that like yeah tore

48:11

apart like the Titanic as you said And

48:15

it ripped why was that nice you almost dropped it

48:17

yeah, right But like it just gave you like what I

48:19

don't like is that it looks They

48:21

make it look like it's like a twisty Pretzel

48:24

thing I know I was to see and then

48:26

it's not they were all deceived Where's

48:30

that pretzel at I want that one The

48:43

cookies were cooked in the lavas of

48:45

Mordor and it's just hot on

48:48

the outside disappointing pretzel the pretzel of Sonic's

48:50

better Than I it was yeah, I agree

48:52

with that it Like

48:54

that good tasting on the outside would

48:56

we go back? What'd you

48:59

say I thought you meant to subway no

49:01

I don't even know I'm trying. I'm sorry I

49:03

don't even know where she jumped into the conversation. Yeah, we

49:06

were just talking about how bad the pretzel was and she

49:08

said let's go Back no, but then you said son. I

49:10

was better. I mean yeah, I also said it's

49:12

not good, but it's better There

49:14

you have it it I

49:19

mean Sonic is the best you can do let's go all

49:21

right don't listen to either of them They're

49:23

not running the show here. I have a car and the company

49:25

card Going

49:31

back to when society collapses like

49:33

I have a credit card I can do whatever I want Eric's

49:38

you can't turn it off. It's true. She does Why

49:44

is there any so much when I fucking press this

49:47

company sunk The

49:50

pretzel itself Didn't I

49:53

feel didn't taste like a pretzel. No it

49:55

tasted like whack bread. Yeah, it was just

49:57

bread It was it wasn't or

50:00

Like that kind of like private even

50:02

deserve red boss was doing us a favor and

50:04

he was just like yeah, dude He probably had

50:06

so many pretzels back. Yeah Throw

50:09

it away Just

50:12

a corpse thing we'll work Say

50:16

hello to Bob the style

50:19

the churro was

50:21

I Would say cold by

50:23

the time we got to it, but even when it was

50:25

hot. I don't anticipate it right away What

50:28

how was it warm? It was fine. Yeah, I would say

50:30

it was a decent No,

50:33

it wasn't this was almost gummy. It wasn't it

50:35

was either And

50:37

it wasn't it wasn't like scene Park churro.

50:40

Uh-huh. No, it wasn't pretty up there Yeah,

50:42

but for like a walk in you're at

50:44

a shithole subway. It was fine. Like it's

50:46

what the pretzel should have been Yes, like

50:48

okay. I can be fine. Yeah, the pretzel

50:51

was not fine. It was like a stadium

50:53

churro I think it was worse

50:55

than a stadium chair. I think it probably was and

50:57

I haven't I haven't gone to that many stadiums But

50:59

they're up there with theme parks. I think yeah, I

51:01

mean it's it's decent. This didn't

51:03

have a crisp to it. We did We

51:06

did have to wait to go to the other subway

51:08

before coming back to eat it. You did you didn't

51:10

have to have to So

51:12

we did that and it was it

51:14

was it was like dummy, right? I

51:17

was a bite and it was very chewy. It

51:19

was definitely a mistake it was way chewy and

51:21

a little mushy on the inside and Gracie

51:25

pointed out that unevenly seasoned. Oh,

51:27

that's right. She wanted she had

51:30

I have something in the middle was fine, but the

51:32

ends the ends were not season. No, no, no, no

51:35

They were not oh Mine

51:37

on the ground and stepped on it. Oh, maybe

51:40

that's what made it so gummy. I

51:42

had gum on my shoe There's

51:44

like big red this you do have gum souls.

51:46

That's probably one So

51:50

then the cookie You're already

51:52

so far going on Okay,

51:55

okay W finish you got the

51:58

gold medal You're

52:00

running back onto the track That

52:06

was happening she was going nonverbal at the

52:09

first subway by the way we should say

52:11

yes as as they said We don't have

52:13

these things Gracie did not want to

52:15

purchase. I think I went nonverbal in Santa chair. Yes Nick

52:20

was like oh my god Gracie speechless, and

52:22

I think Michael went called nonverbal Nonverbal

52:26

Such a good term. Yeah, so what did okay?

52:28

So those are the first two the cookie the

52:30

cookie was the best uh-huh also

52:34

We didn't need to get five of them because

52:36

huh so big it is so much It's

52:39

thick like brownie it is yeah, it's so much

52:41

cookie It's not just it's not

52:43

like a churro and the pretzel that are

52:45

like what you just take a bite It's

52:47

like it's so much wider as a thing

52:49

No If the only time Nick

52:51

shows actual concern is when I get too far from the

52:53

microphone Straighten up and

52:55

get serious like miming like what are

52:58

you doing? So

53:00

what time it's not a bit The

53:03

cookies really rich really rich.

53:05

It's very rich. It was still hot

53:07

Yeah, it's still piping high being hot

53:10

chocolate. I think we go back and

53:12

say that's a viable way to cook it

53:14

Yeah, yeah Yeah,

53:17

we gotta let the boss know cuz then I

53:19

don't have to waste time no buying it out.

53:21

No yeah, I agree Like

53:25

looks a little toasty I think it was

53:27

cooked it did look burnt Yeah, a little

53:29

bit, and it did not taste burnt. No

53:31

not at all. It was a decent cookie

53:33

paradoxically the pretzel Looks like a

53:35

pretzel, but tasted burnt. I agree. I thought it

53:37

tasted burnt also. Yeah I don't know what

53:39

was up with that. I don't know I think it's because

53:42

there was nothing else to flavor it Just handle it tastes

53:44

like burnt bread. Maybe they needed to thaw more yep, so

53:46

overall as the sidekicks menu goes

53:51

Because this is like this is their big offering

53:53

the boss was telling us how it

53:55

was bringing people in Subway land bringing

53:57

people together they Podcast

54:01

host making friends with the workers who feed

54:03

them. Yeah. And making a lot of people

54:05

wait in line forever for a subway. Yeah.

54:07

The... He was saying that

54:09

so many people are coming in just for this shit

54:11

specifically, so like they really hit on something. It's... it's

54:13

kooky enough to get people into subway. Uh...

54:16

People are already coming to subway. So

54:18

it works even better. Mm-hmm. For some

54:20

reason. Yeah, I get it. A lot

54:22

of people on road trips. I just can't imagine

54:24

getting... I'm just... I don't know that these things

54:27

exist. I go and I go, it's a foot

54:29

long cook- I don't need a foot of cook-

54:31

It's also even like... we talk about all the

54:33

time we go to restaurants like Applebee's or whatever.

54:35

It's dead. Yeah. People coming and going in that

54:37

subway. Yep. Right? It's just like a

54:39

shit-hole subway. And it was... it wasn't

54:41

packed, but like it wasn't empty. No. People

54:44

eat that shit. I can't fathom just stopping

54:46

and going to the subway that I'm not-

54:48

it's the blood vein of America. Yes. Whether

54:50

we like it or not. People are moving through. Yep.

54:53

Uh... what do you think, Jordan? So I think on

54:56

the whole... You don't like

54:58

the tornado? The... the cookie being the

55:00

best. It kinda like... I'm trying

55:02

to add up these scores and then average it

55:04

out to three in the head. You got like

55:06

the cookie... The cookie with like the 80-ish. You

55:09

got the... Wow, the cookie with an 80-ish.

55:11

That's interesting. It's a... it has a great

55:13

dessert. I wish with some ice cream, like...

55:15

Like we should look into the box. In

55:17

general. And if you're sharing it with like

55:20

four other people... Dude. Great time. That's the

55:22

Valentine's Day foot long cookie. Yeah! It's not

55:24

about it, Jordan. I think the pretzel was

55:26

like a 25... You guys know

55:28

what to get, Nick and Gracie for that one. Hahahaha!

55:32

And then I think the... uh... The

55:34

gummy churro is something like a... 35-40.

55:37

So I think that average is out to 150 divided

55:39

by three. It's 50 plus 10 extra points... Oh! ...for

55:42

the boss. Hell yeah! It's more than the

55:44

crew. I like it. Wow, that's generous. Uh-huh.

55:47

I'm going 60. Oh!

55:49

Definitely does not deserve a 60. I like it.

55:52

Hopefully you get the boss and his friends, man.

55:55

Yeah, dude. Hopefully you get the boss and some

55:57

jank cookies. Hahaha! Cause that's the way to do

55:59

it. I did all... I'll also throw in some bonus points

56:01

for the free sandwich that I got. Oh

56:04

yeah, yeah, the sandwich that... I just wanted to see...

56:06

Yeah, Nick's happy about that. I'm

56:11

pretty much in line with Jordan. I would

56:13

say I probably liked the churro more than

56:15

he did the cookie a little bit less.

56:17

Just because it's so rich. But

56:19

it was a good cookie. But his math,

56:22

it adds up. The math is mathing. Math

56:25

is... Math is so hard right now. With a boss,

56:28

number 6-0. Wow!

56:32

Dude, the average score on this is a 60. And

56:35

that's... It's pretty

56:37

generous for this, but also, I

56:39

had a 60 time. I had

56:41

more than a 60 time. But I

56:43

had to be a little bit reasonable. Man, that was... I

56:46

even got to ride my one wheel there. You did. That

56:49

was pretty cool. We thought that was going to be the main

56:51

event. Pretty cool. We thought it was... You

56:53

gotta go watch Ride Along, where you see all this happening

56:55

right after it's happened to us and it's like we're shell

56:57

shocked. We're

56:59

in a car going, what are we doing? In

57:03

Ride Along, Nick starts

57:05

filming once we leave the

57:07

second subway. Nick decided that we're going to film

57:09

different today. Sorry. Sorry, the first subway.

57:11

And he was holding it. He was holding it the whole time.

57:14

So then we decided to stop filming going

57:16

into the second subway. Because it's like

57:19

we don't usually film in a restaurant, whatever. I

57:21

secretly filmed... You did. Maybe

57:23

we could use it or not just to see Gracie's

57:25

reaction upon getting pretzels or not getting pretzels.

57:29

And so I had that to give to you so

57:31

we can put part of that into the video. But

57:33

then it kept going and I just started

57:35

playing it and so Nick filmed me playing

57:37

it on my phone. So

57:40

he's filming in widescreen recording my phone

57:42

in vertical. So you don't even have

57:45

to insert it. You don't even

57:47

have to insert it. And then it gets to the point though

57:49

where I walk out and he's

57:51

filming my phone filming outside which

57:53

he already filmed in the video you're going

57:55

to be watching. And so

57:58

he's still filming and he's going, oh I filmed this. part

58:01

yeah there's a part where I point

58:03

my phone at Nick and see him

58:05

filming you're watching that

58:07

same video it's

58:12

the time loop we're going to three

58:14

levels and you need to wake up

58:16

in camera editing yeah you know so

58:18

so that great he has a slice

58:20

hands on so that is that subway

58:22

60 60 time yeah

58:25

60 time we're entering a

58:29

new era where maybe the scores don't

58:31

reflect all of the food and maybe

58:33

some biases get in there and and

58:36

and just the time we had but I'm

58:38

happy I'm happy yeah 60 so that's what

58:40

we ate from subway but it's time for a snack attack

58:46

can it be salty oh no you

58:48

already know what it is thank

58:52

God grace he saw this earlier

58:55

I was like you together what

58:57

is it I'm

59:00

so tired I can't have more sugar yeah

59:02

you can you can have an Oreo space

59:04

dog I

59:07

was gonna get that loud yeah every

59:09

time we test he demands you get

59:11

as loud as possible okay

59:14

so these are Oreo space dunk

59:16

five galactic designs and cosmic cream

59:18

where's the milk with

59:20

milk hopping with where's the

59:23

fucking milk I bought Oh

59:25

pop rocks right Nick you're closest

59:30

he's painting but not moving sounds without running

59:32

my not the telescope got up and went

59:34

oh he walked he had to do the

59:36

sound lucky for the microphone and then he

59:38

left her oh my god what my mind's

59:40

a rocket ship coming it is oh they

59:43

got like the hole in the middle yeah

59:45

I was about to say what is this nub so

59:48

well I don't know it's an Oreo that's about

59:51

going to see if there's milk it's about

59:53

double stuff size I'm gonna wait and it's

59:56

blue and pink icing Gracie

59:58

is upset by it I smushed

1:00:00

mine a little- oh there is milk. Yeah, I

1:00:03

bought it for the cereal. I thought we ate

1:00:05

it all. No dude. Drank it all. No

1:00:08

dude. Are you drinking milk when you eat it

1:00:10

with cereal? Or are you eating it? You're

1:00:12

eating it until you're drinking it. I definitely

1:00:14

drank it. No Yes,

1:00:16

of course. It was my idea. Yeah, got it done. It'll

1:00:18

be insane if I didn't want any. I gotta dunk my

1:00:20

face in milk. I

1:00:24

smushed mine a little bit because there is a hole in it. Oh

1:00:26

you got the icing out in one piece. Why? Look

1:00:29

at what she's doing, Eric. Take a picture. Put

1:00:31

it on the cookie. What's up? Put it on

1:00:33

the cookie, Gracie. Ew. Why

1:00:36

you do? Put it on your cupcake. That's

1:00:38

fucking crazy. That's

1:00:40

like her eating the icing off the cupcake. So

1:00:43

much is happening. Stop eating sweets

1:00:46

like that. I don't want the

1:00:48

chocolate. Oh

1:00:50

weird. The length she has to know. Kind of weird

1:00:53

because you're not eating the cookie. Because

1:00:55

there's pop rocks in an Oreo. Okay. No, that's

1:00:57

not why it's weird. It's

1:00:59

a bit why it's weird. I

1:01:02

still contest it's weird because the way she's

1:01:04

doing it. What she's doing is weird. The

1:01:06

cookie is uncomfortable. Y'all never knew people ate

1:01:08

the icing out of Oreo? No. Really?

1:01:11

Because if they didn't. I wouldn't associate with those people.

1:01:14

If they didn't want it? No, I have to. Because

1:01:16

we're co-workers. We're not friends. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh

1:01:18

oh. Okay. Okay.

1:01:22

I think I just lost my birthday. You

1:01:24

invited me on a bender one time. I

1:01:26

invite everyone on benders because I'm a nice

1:01:28

person. And

1:01:30

you didn't come. You

1:01:33

texted me from an unknown number at like

1:01:35

one in the morning. No, that wasn't an

1:01:37

invite to the bender. That was about ambulance.

1:01:39

That was a massive bank robbery. Because

1:01:41

of the big drug. Don't

1:01:44

confuse the two. I definitely think

1:01:46

you were invited to the bank robbery. I came to

1:01:48

midnight. Oh, I forgot. This is where I am. Right.

1:01:52

And that was from, that was a slack. That was

1:01:54

a known slack. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, you don't have

1:01:56

to sack me anymore. We're not friends. Okay. Guys,

1:01:58

stop fighting. I

1:02:01

don't slacker now So

1:02:04

what do you think of? Slam

1:02:06

dunk space dunk Oreos slam. I don't

1:02:08

like it. Oh, you don't say they're

1:02:10

good. They're Oreos They are

1:02:12

good and I mean they don't need the pop rocks.

1:02:15

They're but they're still popping in they are any They

1:02:18

pop more when you're done. Yeah, they do Yeah,

1:02:21

hold on listen Can

1:02:24

you hear that? your

1:02:26

Michaels Oh Whoa,

1:02:29

that was well great. He's doing it too. So I'm

1:02:31

gonna lose pop again Yeah,

1:02:34

they just don't want it weird. It's

1:02:36

almost My their mouth

1:02:41

Yep, that would lower my score with how it's

1:02:43

in my brain. I don't like that

1:02:46

Yeah, it's hanging around a little too long. I'm off Mike

1:02:52

I Don't

1:02:54

know 146

1:02:57

okay, Michael Pop

1:03:00

rock aside. It's fine 70

1:03:03

it tastes just need a regular Oreo

1:03:05

Yeah, I think it tastes like almost

1:03:07

like birthday cake and then it becomes

1:03:10

pop rocky. Yeah, I mean eat a regular Oreo That's always

1:03:12

yeah what this answer is. It's an average score of 58

1:03:15

Which is I mean, these are you know,

1:03:17

a limited time weird thing that I got from

1:03:19

Jared who runs cheap ass gamer He's

1:03:22

like hey man, check these out and then he got me

1:03:24

these and said these can be for your show So

1:03:26

very nice. Thank you Jared If

1:03:28

you want to send us a snack you can You

1:03:31

can send them to face. Jim care of Eric

1:03:33

Bodeau or 19. Oh one East 51st Street, Austin,

1:03:35

Texas 787 to 3

1:03:37

don't forget to sign up and support the show

1:03:39

at face jam pod comm slash first Check

1:03:42

out the YouTube channel. We're putting up more stuff than ever

1:03:44

now Yeah, we've gone

1:03:47

from like Shooting all this

1:03:49

like stuff that we're just putting behind first.

1:03:51

I mean like this is a YouTube video.

1:03:53

Yeah Yeah, it's a nice mix of like

1:03:55

we're getting even more stuff like no we're

1:03:57

getting even we're getting even We're

1:04:01

losing her. We're losing her. Grace

1:04:03

is gone. I'm crashing.

1:04:05

So you can check out that stuff. The

1:04:08

whole send a twist saga is on our YouTube channel.

1:04:11

And what a saga it is. That

1:04:13

one felt like a 31 minute video. Yes, that felt

1:04:15

like a YouTube video where it's just like this is

1:04:17

absurd. It was a lot of fun. You can hear

1:04:20

Gracie scream when we bring the fortune

1:04:22

cookie cereal around. It's very good. February

1:04:25

23rd. You

1:04:27

sure? Thanksgiving. Yes. It's

1:04:30

that time of year by which

1:04:32

we mean we've decided. We'll see.

1:04:35

I'm just going to say Eric's been sticking his

1:04:37

neck out a lot on this. The

1:04:40

last time I slack Gracie, which was to go

1:04:42

downtown, not from an unknown number, that was December

1:04:44

9th. We're

1:04:48

halfway through February. It's only the 7th.

1:04:52

Might as well be halfway. It's a short month. We didn't

1:04:54

want to start conversing in person. What's up?

1:04:57

We do most of our conversing in person. I'm

1:04:59

just saying you said don't message me anymore. I'm saying

1:05:01

it's been three months. Well, I'm not helping

1:05:03

you with your backflip. Okay.

1:05:06

February 23rd, Thanksgiving, where we get

1:05:08

and you give to us. It

1:05:11

will be free to everyone because. Oh,

1:05:14

and I hope I can say

1:05:16

this now. Kato's coffee is sponsoring this. What?

1:05:19

Yeah. So we're going

1:05:21

to eat all we want. Come watch. We're

1:05:24

going to eat coffee. We will have coffee and have

1:05:26

tea. I'll eat coffee. And I don't. Hey, you know

1:05:28

what? That. What was that?

1:05:30

You did. We

1:05:33

got to get a video of you eating coffee. So.

1:05:37

All right. We're friends. So here's

1:05:39

what. Thanks. Here's what I'll say.

1:05:41

Thank God for jams. Giving last time we did

1:05:44

it. It was ordering all this food and everything.

1:05:46

I'm going to leave it up to Gracie to

1:05:48

make the pic. Oh, so

1:05:50

Nick can help you make some

1:05:52

choices. Oh, I want to see. Okay. Okay.

1:05:56

Tony. Yeah. No

1:05:59

kidding. I

1:06:01

can't last time we did jams giving it

1:06:03

was just a festival of food where we

1:06:05

had pizza wins From

1:06:08

fast food or from yeah, you know no no from

1:06:10

fast food We hit fast food places, and it was

1:06:12

a it was a lot of fun, so kato's coffee.

1:06:14

You'll be Sponsoring that thank you

1:06:16

very much Kato s kato's

1:06:18

case you didn't know yeah drink it. Yeah,

1:06:21

we'll have their coffee and tea also Which

1:06:24

I'm pretty pumped on and it's what I drink anyway

1:06:27

But jams giving I can't wait to jams get

1:06:29

that's for us to get yeah They give we get

1:06:31

you'll be able to watch it again on our YouTube.

1:06:33

I don't want yeah That's the giving

1:06:35

and jams giving yeah, give us it's just giving

1:06:38

you're part of that you get got you get

1:06:40

you Don't you got you get you get you

1:06:42

you got to get mm-hmm Yeah, and

1:06:44

that'll be you can watch it on ruchatith.com the

1:06:47

app and then our YouTube channel so

1:06:50

that's where we'll be for that stuff and also

1:06:53

the little vinyl monkey toy of Still

1:06:55

out there I'm back. Yeah blind blind

1:06:58

box. I've seen people like collecting all

1:07:00

three Yeah, which I think is very

1:07:02

cool people trading seen people dropping making

1:07:05

swaps They're

1:07:08

out there swapping my baby The

1:07:13

whole economy we have The

1:07:17

world collapses that'll be money monkeys

1:07:20

eating So

1:07:23

you can go to a patient pod comm slash first sign up

1:07:25

for first support us and then get James

1:07:27

got Yeah, get jams got you

1:07:29

use the shit. Yep. So I think that's a lot. I

1:07:32

think that's what we got That's

1:07:34

what we jams. Yeah. Yeah at face. You're caught Instagram and

1:07:36

Twitter anything else. Yeah, make sure

1:07:38

you rate and subscribe That's actually very

1:07:40

important and tell a friend about the

1:07:42

show where we eat food and rate the food and

1:07:45

we rate the employees at the rest Yeah,

1:07:47

that's true. Yeah, we rate the food and

1:07:49

also add bonus points for good employees Thank

1:07:52

you the boss. Thanks boss Describe

1:08:07

the show to a newcomer in a more familiar

1:08:09

way. Do you like Apples? Alright,

1:08:11

example. Together Intrepid hosts, Trevor

1:08:14

Collins, Trevor Collins, Alfredo Diaz have nothing

1:08:16

to do with this podcast. Analyze various

1:08:19

unsolved and roosterteeth cryptic podcasts.

1:08:21

F*** face. Call to

1:08:23

action. Feel free to add something

1:08:25

show premise specific but short. Listen

1:08:28

to Show Name on Apple,

1:08:30

Spotify or wherever you get

1:08:33

podcasts. It's F*** Face,

1:08:35

a podcast. Subscribe or no.

1:08:37

You do yes?