0:02

Clutter is something that I absolutely hate.

0:04

It drives me up the wall. It

0:07

depends on where the clutter is. If it's

0:09

around my sink, leave it. If

0:11

it's in the living room, clean it. Sometimes

0:13

it drives me nuts. You know, every drawer

0:15

is a junk drawer and no closet has

0:17

any kind of organization or

0:20

purpose. Life happens and

0:22

so clutter happens. How

0:24

do you feel about clutter? Today

0:27

on Focus on the Family with Jim Daley, we'll

0:29

be tackling that topic and offer some ways that

0:31

you and your family can bring order into your

0:33

home. Thanks for joining us. I'm John

0:35

Fuller. So the question is, John,

0:38

are you a neat freak? Am I a

0:40

neat freak? I think I used to aspire

0:42

to be one, but life has kind of

0:44

made it impossible. So now I'm a piles

0:46

freak. I have lots of piles. I

0:49

kind of dump it in my home office, even

0:51

in my office here, but I'm not

0:53

a neat freak now. I always, you know,

0:55

I tend to favor neatness, but I don't

0:58

know if I'm a freak. I guess I'd

1:00

have to ask Gene, do you think I'm

1:02

a neat freak? Probably when it comes to

1:04

the garage, but I'm looking forward to today's

1:06

discussion because I think it'll help define my

1:08

attitude toward neatness. I

1:11

think people that are overly neat can

1:13

be compulsive. So what is what is

1:15

enough? I mean, when is neatness enough?

1:17

And we're going to talk about that

1:19

today. There's so much guilt, especially for

1:22

moms with busy schedules that have a

1:24

lot going on. What

1:26

is enough? How clean does my house have to

1:28

be? And we want to

1:30

talk about just the whole management of the

1:33

household. And what I love is the sense,

1:35

at least in our house, and Gene does

1:37

a great job with this, is just shalom.

1:40

There's a great deal of peace in our house.

1:42

And I think that's the goal. How do you

1:45

get to that, where you can actually relax and

1:47

settle in with the Lord and look forward to

1:49

being together as a family without all these to-dos.

1:52

So today we're going to cover that. And I hope

1:54

if you're in that spotlight, I have

1:56

fought this my entire life. This one's

1:58

for you. And Kristi

2:00

Clover is going to help us figure this out. Kristi

2:03

is an author and her book is

2:05

called MOM, Master Organizer

2:08

of Mayhem, Simple

2:10

Solutions to Organize Chaos and Bring More

2:12

Joy into Your Home. And

2:14

we have copies of that book here at the ministry.

2:17

Check it out. We've got details in the show

2:19

notes. John, you said she's going

2:21

to help us unpack it. I think she's going to help us

2:23

pack it. Ah, there you go. That's what

2:25

an organizer will do. That's probably the right thing, yes.

2:27

How to pack this place up. Kristi, welcome back. It's

2:29

good to have you. Thank you. Such

2:32

a joy to be back. You've got that million dollar smile. Well, thank you.

2:35

How much does that cost your mom and dad? Oh,

2:37

nothing. No braces? Actually,

2:40

well, it didn't cost them anything. I have

2:42

had braces since... Well, that was a

2:44

smart move on mom and dad's part. Good.

2:48

Well, it paid off. But it's so good to

2:50

have you back. Let's go there.

2:52

You're a blogger, so you hear from many,

2:54

many stressed out people,

2:56

probably mostly MOMs. Mostly

2:59

MOMs. Tell us what you're

3:01

hearing in their frustrations, just generally. Mostly,

3:03

everyone's just overwhelmed. They're overwhelmed by the

3:05

busyness. They're overwhelmed by the chaos of

3:08

stuff, and just overwhelmed by

3:10

life in general. I think it's really easy

3:12

to play, especially with social media these days,

3:14

we start playing the comparison game. So, that's

3:16

what I think kind of gets stuck in

3:18

people's brain. What I see

3:21

is that people are having a hard

3:23

time distinguishing their identity in Christ versus

3:25

their identity in what people

3:27

perceive. So, your home environment, your motherhood,

3:30

and all of those things. We

3:33

can, I'm sure, unpack all of that as

3:35

we go. But, yeah, really, it is busyness

3:37

and clutter. Let me ask you

3:39

this, because we always have that perception that it's

3:41

far worse right now than it ever was before.

3:44

Do you think women... I mean, think

3:46

about it. 50 years ago, 100 years ago, where

3:49

women stressed out, they were doing

3:51

a lot then. I mean, going

3:53

outside and scrubbing laundry. Oh, goodness.

3:55

I Mean, think of the load and cooking from

3:58

scratch, everything, because there wasn't a Costco. The.

4:00

Right across as we. Have been going to the

4:02

little house on the prairie. Bucks Young and. Farmer. Boy

4:04

in particular, I the whole time I'm reading it

4:06

with the kids I'm like oh my word, thank

4:08

you Lord that I live in this world and

4:10

I have a washing machine and I have been

4:12

a real oven and I have a refrigerators and

4:15

I can go to an appliance store and actually

4:17

buy something. Yes if I leave it. And I

4:19

know men can do these things too. So

4:21

it's not a gender thing, I get it.

4:23

but you know, a lot of it does

4:25

fall on mom typically buttons in that regard.

4:27

A It's interesting because it comes down to

4:29

more attitude than right to as or circumstances

4:31

they may change. But what's her attitude about

4:33

these things? With attitude I think overall

4:35

I think a lotta times I think

4:37

what our attitude need city is kind

4:39

of going back to why are we

4:41

doing this and that helps us of

4:43

their attitude because we become overly otherwise,

4:46

were overwhelmed, strike and were stressed out

4:48

and what's interesting is that you have

4:50

your procrastination and getting said organizing things

4:52

as often as symptom of stress in

4:54

a business and our schedules because we're

4:56

trying to put up with like some

4:58

perception or some you know the feeling

5:00

that we have to do something some

5:02

accept peace, were trying to meet. Answer

5:04

Attitude: I feel like we need to

5:07

go back to what is clean us

5:09

and our attitude to be an So

5:11

I try to. Pies.

5:13

And really take a deep breath and thinking

5:15

a when I'm approaching my home and I'm

5:18

approaching how mother and I want my attitude

5:20

to be tied to price and I want

5:22

that to be an attitude of love and

5:24

joy and peace and and kind of start

5:26

right there and but oftentimes that gets a

5:28

little skewed and that easy to do to.

5:30

Yeah, I know at you and I

5:32

both were raised by single parent mom's

5:34

We share that background and you know

5:36

and has it's difficulties but obviously we

5:38

were able to overcome that. probably from

5:40

my perspective because of the lord so

5:42

listeners know exactly where that's com and

5:45

from what we were the take ways

5:47

for you. Watching your mom is a

5:49

single mom do the things that need

5:51

to be done around the house and

5:53

has that impacted. Yeah what was what

5:55

I thought was great as we kind of

5:57

approach things as a team and sell we

5:59

were just tax the and co will. I

6:01

loved his dad. we have things easy get

6:03

down on a Saturday then we just like

6:05

conquered them together and we were usually side

6:07

by side doing things which was really special.

6:09

prices say have that time together in. that

6:12

was the weird part for me when I

6:14

got married actually because it was so different.

6:16

Like my husband didn't grow up in an

6:18

environment, his mom took care of everything, she

6:20

was a stay at home mom and so

6:22

she did a lot and said like hey,

6:24

works for folding laundry don't want to come

6:26

and do it with me such I'm like

6:28

no not be a my. Exam is that

6:30

it would be such a good help or hurt

6:32

but I yeah I know it says in it

6:34

so difference and I think it probably. You.

6:37

Change the way that I approached mothering

6:39

as well as that I want my kids

6:41

to be on the team. I wanted to

6:44

teach them skills because when I launched and

6:46

was in college I lived in Australia for

6:48

a year on my own and I

6:50

was fully capable of doing all the things.

6:52

And I do see that a lotta times

6:55

when you have yelled mom's do a lot

6:57

for their kids and so that's one

6:59

of my encroachments in the work as to

7:01

train your children to help out. you don't

7:04

have to take all of the burden on

7:06

yourself. and maybe. That isn't influence of having

7:08

a single mom. He said you faked

7:10

your way through being an organized person know

7:13

when you get married as a good kind

7:15

of illuminated it is So with how did

7:17

you figure was. Oh am I the

7:19

have now? I now term it as organized

7:21

clutter but if there are things that were

7:24

hours I would just put them in a

7:26

been and if it has a label on

7:28

it did. It's not footer right? So my

7:30

might mess to go into then with the

7:32

labels and now I do realize that his

7:35

sister laid clutter It It's just it's still

7:37

clutter. it's just. Put. Away and tucked

7:39

away. The door behind. The door in

7:41

of rides rodgers not a

7:43

garage. Side of us ago and

7:45

she added effect of above everything I

7:48

know my that's my neat freak bro

7:50

you're able to has rolled out there

7:52

is a it's terrible I know I

7:55

know we got your dump submitted I

7:57

do them as as it is a

7:59

bigger. You ever prom? Okay you talk

8:01

about how making a D d I like

8:03

that and what does that look like? Elvis

8:06

A for me is that looks like

8:08

if I'm going to start a project,

8:10

I'll start it downstairs. And I've learned

8:12

this about myself because I've gotten myself

8:14

and some really sticky situations that are

8:16

sort of hijacked and sensing in that

8:18

particular on require something from upstairs. I

8:20

go upstairs to go and try to

8:22

grab whatever it is that I need

8:24

only to figure out that there is

8:26

another like they're so. I'll start that

8:28

project says answer. Then I am easily distracted

8:30

by what needs to get done. And so

8:32

it's not until I need a project to

8:34

something from downstairs that I really like that

8:36

three fight. It. Happening on. putting dimension to that

8:39

like three projects at one time. How long

8:41

does it take to get project one done?

8:43

that would you are distracted from? Is it

8:45

hours Or days? Or weeks or months? That's

8:47

a good question. It all depends on how you

8:49

approach it and so I approach things differently. Now

8:51

is now I'm very much. I've been people like

8:53

me who has business. where do I start and

8:55

so I really try to encourage people Pick one

8:57

thing. Pick. One thing and break it

9:00

down, can that one project like a

9:02

garage? you're not going to tackle overrides,

9:04

you know in one day. Or

9:06

else. Self made it a self. Maybe it's a

9:08

band? Maybe it's a drawer. Somehow made light of record.

9:10

and some aren't for you and I'm not a fight

9:12

us. I actually love it when people out of visit

9:14

a friend is good news that we we're like yes please.

9:18

Be that that yes picking one project in kind

9:20

of breaking it down to the smaller bites that's

9:22

gonna make it more doable as you what you

9:24

want to do is have that little like you

9:27

for a moment of i did it and didn't

9:29

know it helps to bleed And Saturday when. It

9:31

gets keeps you going, gives you the fuel

9:33

of I did decide to do that. Zach

9:35

Now in your book. M O him Master

9:38

Organizer of mayhem. You laid out tin simple

9:40

rules for home organization and work. We're going

9:42

to cover a few of them, but people

9:44

need to get the book. I mean we

9:46

don't have time enough to cover moths, but

9:48

one in there is gleam in tweak technique.

9:51

What is that's. Well that's the ice and

9:53

have learned this is and I started approaching Home

9:55

Organization. I was trying to follow all the rules.

9:57

I was trying to do what's like the Martha

9:59

Stewart's of the. They are doing And my friends

10:01

you grew up in organized homes are doing. What

10:03

I'm not endorsing? Oh, You know it did not

10:05

work with us. So and what I found is

10:07

that there's techniques that work but the you also

10:09

have to tweak technique because you don't treat it

10:12

all has to be unique. He created our families,

10:14

the unique each to create our children and we

10:16

all have different dynamics within our home as well

10:18

and so you have to take that into account.

10:20

And then as soon as you get and I

10:23

feel like I always do have a little more

10:25

name is as soon as you get your groove

10:27

on and as soon as things are running smoothly

10:29

as season changes or something happens And I don't

10:31

mean like seasonal, I just mean you know, like.

10:34

A new baby is welcomes. Or you know you

10:36

kind of said. In a different young and

10:38

different situation and so things I'm saying. Let

10:40

me. Ask in that regard to that's a

10:42

really important point that I had thought about.

10:44

We we tend to be creatures of habit.

10:47

Yeah, we read or hear something like this

10:49

program and then we get the book and

10:51

we think we gotta do it exactly like

10:53

this. Almost like a herd mentality. Easy. but

10:55

the ability to spin it into your own

10:57

saying so it's functional and it works is

10:59

better. Oh yeah, because usually you're not going

11:01

to succeed at the way somebody does it

11:03

their weight right. So how to bring it

11:05

in and make it functional for you? That's

11:07

a great town. Yeah, it is in,

11:10

its in, its into this. I try to explain

11:12

and about like please take This is just like.

11:14

This is yet another example of how to attempts

11:16

to get things done. So I try to encourage

11:18

people try this if it doesn't work, don't feel

11:20

like a failure and I think that is the

11:23

key is so often we try to follow these

11:25

rules less and then we feel like a failure

11:27

and then it's hiking. Least you know than it

11:29

does kind of tumble down from there and them

11:31

are overwhelmed and we never start and sell. We

11:34

have to just know that I just need to

11:36

tweak this him in gleaned from other people and

11:38

tweak it to make. It work that's one

11:40

of the ten will cover a couple more.

11:42

See you mentioned in the book that you

11:44

bought this nice property and and was so

11:46

wonderful that you were in your heart thinking

11:48

as big great place for a wedding and

11:51

and then you had a friend asked you

11:53

can can we do a wedding at her

11:55

house to which he said yes The only

11:57

thing is your about ready to have a

11:59

lot. change. Yeah, we really had

12:01

a life change. So like just ratchet our

12:03

stress up and let us enter into that moment

12:06

of your life. Oh, it was so good. Well, I

12:08

just remember when we were first walking our property

12:10

of thinking, oh, we could do so many things

12:12

here. And we have been able to

12:14

do a lot there, but at that particular time,

12:17

I was like, I dreamed of having a wedding

12:19

in the backyard. Now, paint the picture of what it looks

12:21

like just for our mind to eye. So our backyard is beautiful.

12:23

It's kind of terraced. And so we have this

12:25

big grass area, which is where we've had two

12:27

weddings there now. So the temporary

12:29

gazebo goes in and well, they

12:32

have a little fun little archway and you can

12:34

put the tables in in the chairs. And then

12:37

we have a little like garden fountain area. So we

12:39

have lots of fun little nook and

12:41

cranny kind of areas that make for a great

12:44

wedding. And that's what I was thinking. So when our

12:46

friends approached us, I was like, this

12:48

is my dream come true. And my husband, because

12:50

they were very set on a date. So they

12:52

were very set. And at that point, I kind

12:54

of did that. I'm very set on a date

12:57

because I was very pregnant.

12:59

And but I was like, but

13:01

I'm organized. I can do this.

13:04

I can pull this off. I did your husband

13:06

not try to talk you out of this. This

13:08

ended up being the greatest I told you so

13:10

moment in our marriage, I believe. So he kept

13:12

going, Oh, Christy, I don't think so. And I'm

13:14

like, No, I can do this. Well, husbands can

13:16

only push that so far. Yeah, because

13:19

I was hormonal. I was a very hormonal

13:21

pregnant woman. Were you gonna say that? Were you gonna

13:23

say that? No, you wouldn't. I will say it for

13:25

you. And so you're moving along. And then when did

13:27

this? Become reality.

13:29

Yeah. So I went into labor two weeks

13:32

early, I went into labor on my birthday.

13:34

And that was on

13:36

my birthday, on the wedding, almost the wedding day,

13:38

days before the wedding, six days.

13:40

So I had a newborn at this

13:43

wedding. And it was not what we had

13:45

planned. I and I learned that there

13:48

is such a thing as over planning, there's such

13:50

a thing as over committing. And this was a

13:52

great example of over committing. And

13:54

It really pointed out to me that I needed

13:56

to remember my priorities. So I needed to go

13:59

back to a. Hey, my family, my

14:01

growing child is a priority. My health

14:03

is a priority because I'm sure that

14:05

some of the stress that was happening

14:08

of making everything comes together was probably

14:10

part of. What put me into think it's

14:12

not let all of a good so maybe

14:14

I'm in. So you you are really involved

14:16

with the wedding right now just property like

14:19

oh to do it every one day. I'll

14:21

be back tomorrow night because I'm going to

14:23

rest are very. Good job of doing things that

14:25

you know like that will do everything. Kind of

14:27

did turn and seal. Oh and by the way

14:29

can you do this and sell? My husband was

14:31

the champion of our that has and everything that

14:33

was on my shoulders went to his shoulders when

14:35

the baby. Was born sell yeah.

14:38

That was a big number force. I really should have

14:40

known better. Now that's it. I lied. story

14:42

appreciate batted that. The honesty is I mean

14:44

all the husband's going What? yeah there can

14:46

be as listen to this year and album

14:48

lights are gone. I can't believe it or

14:50

that's all good. But how can we best

14:52

determine what our families priority should be? I

14:55

think you've found it for yourself. How have

14:57

you applied that to the rest? the family?

14:59

And how did they by in the. Saturday.

15:01

Bias as it does class and. Well

15:04

we really prayed about it will Stephen I

15:06

prayed about like wet our priorities let's does

15:08

that look like And so we try to

15:10

make sure we check in with each other

15:13

allies that when it comes to my home

15:15

it's and since the wedding was at our

15:17

home that's really what it came down to.

15:19

His i want my home to the a

15:21

place like he's had set at one point

15:23

a slum. I want a my home to

15:25

the replace a piece at home really is

15:27

important because we live in a crazy world

15:29

and so we would need to. Have a

15:31

place where. We can take a deep

15:34

breath, children, I think love that they

15:36

don't know how to express it, but

15:38

thrive in that kind of really wanna.

15:40

They really do and so I think that's

15:42

when I think when you feel tension appearance

15:44

we can tell when there's tension kids are

15:46

acting up and it's can be For of

15:49

the a variety of things that I found

15:51

that is often the dizziness that we're allowing

15:53

entire schedule and so that's been a big

15:55

thing for us is we've really to we

15:57

We always look at our calendar we tried.

16:00

You know I figure out like what needs

16:02

to be on our calendar right now and

16:04

so we pray over that and we talked

16:06

to the kids about it. So an example

16:08

as a wanna is a wonderful ministry that

16:10

all about bible memorization but for us in

16:12

this season it was falling on a bad

16:14

night. we already had another ministry happening that

16:16

night and so we just had it with

16:18

prayed about it. We talked our kids about

16:20

it and I just make sure that bible

16:22

memory is a priority and the rest of

16:24

our schedule in the rest of our day

16:26

which is easier since we do home school

16:28

but it just be the. Had to pay attention

16:30

to the are good things and good seasons that

16:33

you need to save your yes for what's best.

16:35

Yeah, it's really really good and

16:37

was more Chrissy Clovers or guess

16:39

today on focus on the family.

16:41

With Jim Daily he ended her

16:43

book is fantastic. It's called M

16:45

O M Master Organizer of Mayhem.

16:47

Simple solutions to organize chaos and

16:50

bring more joy in your home.

16:52

Get a copy from us here

16:54

at the Ministry. The details are

16:56

in the show. Notes at Decluttering

16:58

is a big issue. I think

17:00

your point in the book is

17:02

clear. The clutter I was here.

17:04

Cleared the gutter. Jump

17:07

Up on a i wandered about that guy actually to

17:09

care that and for one of the screens are really.

17:13

Get up there anymore. When Trent left I was

17:15

like a when I'm going to do that but

17:17

that clear the clutter. How do we go about

17:20

doing that? I think your grandmother had a good

17:22

inside for you. I love that. What a grandma

17:24

have to say. Oh. Well if is more

17:26

of what she left behind sell. My

17:28

grandma had been very organized, she introduced

17:30

me to my first label or and

17:32

to see been a ferry organize. I

17:34

had a love for labeling around. The

17:37

laser light a punch a I'm swoon.

17:39

Yeah we have. ah it would

17:41

They were everywhere and I still find them

17:43

that he and things that I have of

17:45

hers like the little labels on the bottom

17:47

pen and pencil so at all the things

17:49

by to the problem was is late on

17:51

her life she became a hoarder so organ

17:53

I. Want one for the other? Order. That

17:55

like we're talking like you open a closet

17:57

in see it fit more in the cloud.

18:00

Than any other human. Cleared because she

18:02

was organized and hoarding so when she

18:04

passed it left quite you know, couldn't

18:06

quite a burden on the family. And

18:08

so I remember that when she was

18:10

her cancer had come back and my

18:12

uncle had called to tell me it's

18:14

like. You're. Just you know it's

18:16

worse than than you think it is. And

18:18

I thought he was talking about the cancer

18:20

and he wasn't. He was talking about the

18:22

state of her home. And so when I

18:24

got there. It was. It

18:26

was really sad. It was sad to see

18:28

just how much she had accumulated and then

18:30

and so we went. We visited had a

18:32

great time but it was after she passed

18:34

the came out the help my uncle and

18:36

of try to get the house ready to

18:38

sell that and we we had to. I

18:40

knew the guestroom had a bad that says

18:42

put it like that and so we had

18:44

to do it. Took us a day to

18:46

get to the bed and to try to

18:48

get a pathway to uncover the bed. So

18:50

what I've learned is that clutter really is

18:52

a symptom of a lotta things. So cluttered

18:55

is a symptom. It's. A symptom the stress

18:57

of overwhelmed for hurt with her health. I'm

18:59

a she just kept putting things away and

19:01

that it can be business in our life.

19:03

A lot of things we already talked about

19:05

and that wet one of the things that

19:07

is kind of tweaked how I view things

19:09

and that is what are the items I'm

19:11

choosing to have and my home And you

19:13

know is it something I think my kids

19:15

are in? I do, I need it. Do

19:17

I use it for right now. And

19:20

if I'm putting it away or storing it,

19:22

is it something my kids are actually gonna

19:24

need some? Has we? don't think about the

19:26

burden that were. actually. it's almost a generous

19:28

think. we're now. we're passing this on to

19:30

someone else. That's it's really helped me to

19:32

identify things. were evidently that's not uncommon

19:34

saying wording i mean i hear

19:37

about it often their shows on

19:39

tv ads but i think people

19:41

work we struggled to let go

19:43

of stuff which is an indication

19:45

of other things going on with

19:47

solutions in those kinds of things

19:49

you speak to the idea of

19:51

having a plan i don't think

19:53

i'm a real plan or is

19:55

it tends to go doesn't leave

19:57

me another exit doors i like

19:59

doors you know when it comes

20:01

to planning because something other

20:03

than the plan might get better. If we

20:05

don't have the ability to say I got

20:08

a better plan so getting

20:10

locked into plan kind of tends to stress

20:13

me out a little bit but speak to

20:15

the need to have a plan and then

20:17

work that plan in order to kind of

20:20

reduce stress and chaos and

20:22

I think it related in the book you

20:24

talked about when your first son was born

20:26

that's a life changer oh yeah because time

20:28

is different you don't have all the time

20:31

in the world to worry about the house

20:33

and those things but what was that connection

20:35

what were your ahas when your first child

20:37

was born? When our first child was born

20:39

I kind of went into overdrive and so I'm

20:41

like oh look I need I need to plan

20:43

a lot because I am now responsible for keeping

20:45

someone alive and so like an

20:47

example is we went to Canada and it

20:49

was a trip that his company had planned

20:51

and we were not gonna miss that and

20:53

he was all of two months old but

20:55

he had his first cold and

20:58

so I did what every

21:00

normal mother would do new mother I packed

21:03

everything you could possibly think of but I even

21:05

brought humidifier and this is like 2002 so this

21:07

is when I could bring

21:09

all of those things onto the plane and

21:11

you know like I didn't get stopped at

21:13

security but I brought everything and we have

21:15

this picture of my son like little teeny

21:18

tiny baby Grant on top of this mountain

21:20

of stuff because you know you've

21:22

got a little airplane carrier you know it's a

21:24

little push cart and so we put everything on

21:26

there I mean for this little teeny tiny person

21:28

we had so much stuff

21:30

so that is actually an example of over

21:32

planning but what we need to get

21:34

to a point of doing is kind of figuring out if

21:37

we have a basic game plan and you I would I've

21:39

learned is be flexible because

21:41

since he was two months old I've learned that

21:43

you do just lawful for things at you and

21:45

so if it's a priority then I need to

21:47

have backup plans so I kind of say like

21:49

plan for what what do you really want to

21:51

prioritize like mornings are a great example of this

21:54

and so in the morning I try to prep

21:56

for the day ahead I try to like put

21:58

things out that I'll need Hit

22:00

some of those because I thought that was a great

22:02

list actually. Yeah. The stressed out mom in

22:04

the morning. The stressed out mom in the morning.

22:06

So here's my thing. This is my mom truck

22:08

instead of a little mom truck. My mom truck.

22:10

I try to think of how can I bless

22:13

myself tomorrow, my tomorrow self by doing something tonight.

22:15

So like doing those dishes that are in the

22:17

sink. And we actually have chore systems for those

22:19

types of things to get the family to team

22:21

up. But if when I had tiny

22:23

children, it's not like I could ask my two year old, come on.

22:25

Let's do the hot and pee in. You can do a very good

22:27

job. Right. So at 3 in

22:29

the morning, one of my priorities is my quiet time.

22:31

So I have a basket that I keep all of

22:33

my Bible, my Bible study, pens, paper. I

22:36

keep that out. And so that's something

22:38

that if, you know, I, my

22:40

husband's needing some time or on a phone call, then I

22:42

can just pick that up and go in another room. You

22:45

know, when we had kids that were in school, I put

22:47

their backpacks out, I grabbed their homework, all those little things.

22:49

You could get even nitty gritty if you have a crazy.

22:51

So if we're leaving for an early flight, I

22:53

will actually plan out what we're having for breakfast.

22:56

We have all laid out and

22:58

have clothes put out. So it just depends

23:00

on the situation because you could get meat

23:02

freakish and you can get a little maniacal

23:05

and start kind of over planning

23:07

and doing everything that you have to

23:09

allow some great. It surprised me in

23:11

the book that you mentioned that you

23:13

are bent or struggle with laziness. That

23:15

just doesn't seem to fit. Oh, I'm

23:17

an oxymoron. Let's speak to all the

23:19

moms that go, now we're talking. Yeah.

23:23

That's me. Oh, well, if given the choice, I would much rather sit

23:25

on the couch and watch a show. Or

23:27

do like nothing. I mean, that feels really good.

23:29

I mean, it's the whole inertia thing, right? A

23:32

body, you know, in motion, stays in motion.

23:34

But I would rather just stay and chill. And

23:37

so it's getting into motion. But yeah, I struggled

23:39

with laziness. How do you break out of that?

23:41

Because of course you're going, I don't even want to

23:43

admit that. Oh, yeah. Because laziness for the

23:45

Christian, you're going, that's not a good attribute. Oh,

23:48

yeah. For me, it was honestly, it's just having

23:50

that conversation like, what do I want to be

23:52

known for? What do, you know, how do I

23:54

want to set an example for my children? And

23:57

so I just really have, it's

23:59

a choice. honestly, you have

24:01

to make the choice that I'm going to

24:03

have to go do something. And so I

24:05

play games with myself and try to kind

24:08

of encourage myself to go out and do

24:10

different things. So if I have a project

24:12

to get done, then I'll do the project

24:14

and then I'm allowed to do XYZ. And

24:16

so behind everything out there to find your

24:19

motivation to do anything, you have to understand

24:21

your why. And that's important. So if you

24:23

kind of go back to that, like, you

24:26

know, why do you want to take care of

24:28

the home? You know, why is your home important?

24:30

You know, so everything that's good in life takes

24:32

a little bit of effort. And so you have

24:34

to kind of choose like, again, how do you

24:36

want to be defined and things that when I'm

24:38

looking at things, I try to the

24:41

way my brain works is that if

24:43

it's not simple, it's not getting done.

24:45

And I would much rather sit out

24:47

and often procrastination is a symptom of

24:49

stress. Oftentimes we are lazy or we

24:51

are procrastinating because there's something we

24:53

don't want to get to. And so that's

24:56

where I try to kind of identify, like,

24:59

what in my life is causing me to want

25:01

to be lazy? Like, am I avoiding something?

25:03

Am I too busy? You know, and, you

25:05

know, there's so many things. Or do we

25:07

have too much fun planned? Because that is,

25:09

that's a reality too. Sometimes we just have

25:11

too many fun things going on. But

25:14

there's also seasons for that and giving yourself grace. The

25:17

capstone for me is this attitude.

25:19

It's, you know, not

25:21

expecting it to be one and done. If you

25:23

have that expectation, you're going to be miserable because

25:25

it's going to keep coming back. And, you know,

25:28

if it's the laundry, the dishes or whatever it

25:30

is, distributing that amongst the kids and dad is

25:32

a good thing to the extent that they can

25:34

do it. Jean was great. She had the boys

25:36

doing laundry at 10. They went all through junior

25:39

high and high school doing their own laundry. Then

25:41

she got dad doing it. I don't know how

25:43

I got talked into that, but that's a big

25:45

help. And, you know, there's just

25:47

things you can do. But I really, I think there's

25:49

so many sour wives

25:53

and moms because, yeah, they think

25:55

I did this already. Why is it happening again?

25:58

Just Know your expectation. What's gonna

26:00

happen that Christie this been so good. How

26:02

I love and you know I whenever I

26:05

roll into some like this like organization I'm

26:07

always going Okay, we'll see what the audience

26:09

as you say. I hope this is connected

26:11

with you and you know maybe year and

26:13

a great place but that's your sister needs.

26:15

A little out with my be gentle way

26:18

of getting a resource. One of the big

26:20

thanks Here's just doing ministry. You know you

26:22

go to the big direct mail places. I

26:24

won't name names but you can the hit

26:26

a button and get a book and put

26:29

profit and to the shareholders. Of that company.

26:31

But if you get the resource from

26:33

Focus if you buy Christie's book emo

26:35

him master organizer may him from focused

26:37

on proceeds, go right back and and

26:39

ministry. Helping. Families and that's a

26:41

great way to do it's if you can

26:43

do that monthly even five or ten dollars

26:45

a month or John and I support focuses

26:47

way. It's a great

26:49

help to the budget a one time gift

26:51

and will also send you a copy the

26:53

books as our way of saying thank you

26:56

for being either a monthly sustain or or

26:58

a one time giver. We love it does

27:00

get in touch with us and John has

27:02

this detail and yeah it's very easy to

27:04

stop by the show notes for: give us

27:06

a com: eight hundred, submitter A and the

27:08

word this eight hundred to three to. Six,

27:10

four, Five Nine or plan to

27:12

join us again tomorrow as will

27:14

hear how one Christian family dealt

27:17

with an unplanned. My

27:19

gas housing is able to tell

27:21

us when did that happen? How

27:23

does is hop and twenty classes

27:26

and I'm sitting there watching like

27:28

how slowly destroy the most important

27:30

people. Am I allowed? On

27:32

behalf of the entire team. Thanks for joining

27:34

us today for focus on the family With

27:36

Jim Daily I'm John Fuller and Body Back

27:38

as we once again. You and your family

27:41

thrive in. Nyc.

27:46

to be challenging to inspire your community

27:48

to see life the way god season

27:51

so what's the solution well on june

27:53

fifteen focus on the families hosting see

27:55

like twenty four and no matter where

27:57

you are or who you are You

28:00

can be a part of this free event

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with speakers like Ben and Kirsten Watson and

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Life 24 will inspire you

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to translate your faith into

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action. Register today at seelife24.org