0:00

Hello and welcome back.

0:02

Hi, I'm Mark. I'm Rox. And this

0:05

is our podcast. Live, laugh, love

0:07

the podcast.

0:11

Here we go. It's

0:13

summertime. And we're back.

0:16

One, two, go. Where

0:26

is the sunshine gone? It's raining.

0:30

Classic UK. Always. Hello,

0:35

everyone. Welcome back

0:37

to our podcast. I really hate

0:39

to be the person who talks about it, but the

0:42

weather in the UK is dire.

0:45

Absolutely shocking. And if

0:47

I wasn't a true Brit,

0:49

I wouldn't moan about it. But I'm going to because

0:52

it rains in the morning. It's

0:55

sunny and really hot in the afternoon. I

0:57

don't know what to wear. Layering has gone to

0:59

a new level, my friends.

1:00

It's impossible, isn't it? Guys,

1:02

thank you, everybody, for

1:04

tuning in again to our podcast. And thank you to everyone

1:06

that emailed in so many

1:08

emails. I want to shout out to the wonderful

1:12

Australian lady as well that says that she

1:14

does a lot of travelling. She's always on a plane listening

1:16

to our podcast. And when people see her

1:18

laughing,

1:19

she tells them to listen to our podcast.

1:23

She's basically our

1:24

unofficial Australian podcast

1:26

promo

1:27

legend. Oh, I love

1:30

that. I want to big up also the women who

1:32

are telling me that they are cleaning their

1:34

house on a Thursday and they

1:36

are making it more bearable by

1:38

listening to the podcast.

1:41

There is a lot of emails like

1:43

that. We're making work more bearable,

1:45

drives, all things like that. I love that. Thank

1:47

you for passing that on. That's made

1:50

my life actually. Thank you for

1:52

listening and for all following, which

1:54

I know you're all now doing. Obviously

1:56

on your favourite podcast streaming

1:59

system. Or whatever it is. Favorite

2:01

podcast streaming service? Mark's better

2:04

at it than me. Yes, thank you.

2:06

And if you're not following, please do hit that little plus

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that plus sign. Go on, guys. Like

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follow the globe. That's what

2:13

they say, don't they? Roxas headed to an American YouTuber.

2:16

Hit the bell for the latest subscription updates.

2:19

I just saw a lot of mum doing it though. Just

2:22

do you know what? Just do what you want to

2:24

do. Just enjoy

2:26

it. Just enjoy it. Well, we've got

2:28

all the usual features coming up today,

2:30

guys. We've got dialer, dilemma, date

2:33

night diaries, confessions of

2:35

a housekeeper living with a savanna.

2:38

Oi! And name that sound.

2:42

Right. It is the week

2:44

of all weeks. Mark has

2:46

been on something this week,

2:49

haven't you? Well,

2:51

he's been on it for a week or two. And

2:53

I won't lie. It's doing my head in. OK,

2:56

because

2:57

Mark has been intermittent

3:00

fasting. Oh, yes. How have you?

3:02

Yeah, I'll talk about this. I want to

3:05

talk about summer diets, right? Because

3:07

I feel like all I ever

3:09

get is, oh, you know, how do you get

3:11

the confidence to wear your swimsuit and

3:13

things like that? And I'll

3:15

be honest, everyone is always dieting.

3:17

Go into the summer months, they're like, get each body

3:19

ready. Get this, get that. And

3:21

you feel that pressure,

3:24

right? You do. Well,

3:26

that's kind of why I'm trying

3:28

fasting. Mark's trying fasting because

3:30

he's red somewhere. No, no. He's

3:33

got nowhere. Go on. Everybody, everyone

3:35

was telling me it was good for me. Yeah, because

3:37

you wanted to feel a bit better, didn't you? It's

3:40

not reading. I've not done

3:42

any reading. It's

3:44

because for about honestly, for about

3:46

two weeks, everyone I spoke to

3:48

was going, oh, summer's coming. I'm

3:50

fasting. I'm fasting for summer.

3:53

And I was like, all right. What's

3:56

that? What's that? Tell me about it. Oh, it's great

3:58

for you. Stops the age in prison.

3:59

process,

4:01

gives your immune system a kickstart,

4:03

it's great for your skin, it detoxes

4:06

something and you

4:08

lose so much weight and you look great for

4:10

summer. So I was like, okay,

4:13

I've done no research, tell me what I've got to do.

4:15

Classic

4:17

mock. Yeah, just try it. You hear a few

4:19

little buzzwords in your room.

4:21

I'm trying. You're a nightmare. You should have read

4:23

the book. Throw yourself into it. What's the worst

4:26

that could happen? He's been doing it for two

4:28

weeks. Are you hungry now? Because he's got

4:30

a time frame and everything. I've

4:32

got to be supportive. I'm supporting

4:34

you. Support me and my fast. Supporting you through your

4:36

fast. Right. So the rule

4:38

is I can eat

4:40

as much as I... Well, not as much as I want. No,

4:42

you can't eat as much as you want. This is the rule

4:44

you've made. No, the rule

4:46

is I'm allowed to eat from basically 12

4:50

at lunch until... 7 at night. 7pm.

4:54

Okay.

4:55

After 7pm

4:57

until 12 o'clock the next day, I can't

4:59

eat anything. Which is fine because I'm

5:02

asleep for most of that. So I have to basically

5:04

get from 7pm until I go to bed

5:06

and then I just don't have breakfast and then I just crack

5:08

on the next day. And

5:09

how are you finding that, Mark?

5:12

I mean, I struggle at night. I do

5:14

struggle at night because that's when I like a little bit of a snack.

5:17

That's when I like, you know, Chris sandwich, crisps.

5:19

A graze, as we all say. Some chocolate,

5:21

some peanuts. Had a second

5:23

dinner. That's

5:26

when supper comes in. That's when I have my... Supper!

5:29

All right, Captain Bird's eye, right?

5:32

That's when I have my second tea

5:34

and then I have, you know, me supper and me late

5:36

night snacks. So you said you was going to do this,

5:38

didn't you? And I was like... Hold on.

5:40

I've been doing this for about, you know,

5:43

a few weeks. I've been doing all right with it. Grog's

5:45

tried it for four days. No,

5:47

no, hold on. I did a whole week.

5:50

You did a whole week. No, I did a week or two. You

5:52

didn't. I did. It might have felt like it. Seven

5:54

whole days, I did. Sorry, you said a week

5:57

or two. No, it's seven days. No, I swear. You

5:59

didn't last a week. No, I did. It was

6:01

longer than a week, thank you. And I'll be honest

6:03

with you, it was awful. I

6:07

thought I was going to die.

6:09

Literally going to die. Now

6:12

don't get me wrong, right? If you're

6:14

doing what you've got to do to feel better back

6:16

yourself, I'm a supporter of it. No,

6:18

no, no, no, no, no. Why? You're

6:21

not one for skipping a meal, are you though? No, I get

6:24

hangry at every level. I

6:26

can't even cope. Rox is

6:28

the hangriest person I've ever

6:30

met. If you're unfamiliar with the term hangry,

6:33

that means you're hungry, angry.

6:34

Yeah, and I do. I do

6:36

get very angry. And I... You get

6:39

hangry between meals. I know. So when

6:41

we remove one, it's not a

6:43

good time for you. I'll be honest with you,

6:45

the whole fasting thing, it panicked me beyond

6:47

I could bat it, right? It got to half

6:50

six. Half six at night.

6:52

It was so good. It's half six,

6:54

go, go. I'd run to the fridge

6:56

and panic eat. I'd eat... What

6:59

would

6:59

happen was

7:00

she'd skip breakfast and pretend

7:02

that she was OK with it. I had to have a coffee. She'd

7:05

then start cooking what we was

7:07

having for dinner or lunch or whatever.

7:09

She'd start cooking it at 11. She'd

7:12

have it ready for like, quarter to 12. And

7:14

the minute the clock struck 12, the

7:17

fork had been in her mouth. Right?

7:20

And then every day when it got to 6.30, in

7:23

like a wild panic, a phone alarm

7:25

had gone off and, I've only got half an hour. Honestly,

7:28

I've never seen somebody a family pack of

7:30

ham so quick from the fridge. I'll

7:33

be honest with you. She inhaled 10

7:35

slices of ham. I'll admit it, OK? I

7:38

am a failure at every

7:41

diet I have ever done. Now, I don't believe

7:43

in diets. I now, as I've got older, realise

7:46

that a healthy lifestyle, balance of

7:48

moderation and exercise

7:50

isn't just to lose weight. It's good for your mind. You

7:53

know, I've got a bit wiser. OK,

7:55

sure. I'm not a failure. It

7:57

took some time to get there, though,

7:59

isn't it, though? For you to get to that point

8:01

where you understand moderation and you

8:04

understand exercise to feel better. I'm

8:06

an outgoing person and I'm outgoing

8:08

with food too. Do you know what I mean? And if you

8:11

like eating out. Yeah, I do,

8:13

mate. Cake o'clock is a thing in my life,

8:15

OK? And if you take that away from me, you

8:17

will feel pain. Mark, you don't

8:19

even know some of the things I've tried.

8:22

Honestly, I've got to tell you some

8:24

of the stories that I have actually done.

8:25

OK. I mean, I know

8:28

that Weight Watchers, you've tried that. I

8:30

have. That was the biggest one I used to do

8:32

in my 20s. Like, so I'm talking these were

8:34

fads. Well, they're not fads, but they were

8:37

the diets that you did. What I saw my mum do

8:39

like what this was a modern diet. Yeah, this is

8:41

the questionable ones. Yeah, these were the like the ones

8:43

you're like, oh, really? Right. Yeah, I'm going

8:45

to sign up. Like I've done it. Oh, I've done Weight

8:48

Watchers. I've done Slimming World. I've done

8:50

Atkins. I've done Juicing. I've done

8:52

it. All right. And that

8:54

might horrify people to know these, but

8:56

it's taken me a long time to be body confident

8:59

with who I am. But the weight. I'll

9:01

tell you one story.

9:03

I know one story of

9:05

one of the diets she was on, but go on. Tell

9:07

me yours. So Weight Watchers was probably the

9:09

most successful. Right. It's calorie deficit.

9:12

I'm pretty sure everyone does know what Weight Watchers is around

9:14

the world. But if you don't, it's like a it's

9:17

like a close track. It's like a club

9:19

that you kind of join. They help you track your food.

9:21

They point everything that you basically eat.

9:23

But back in my day, it was different.

9:25

You used to go every week. You used to weigh in in front

9:27

of a group full of people where they would all

9:29

judge you and go, oh, she's

9:32

lost this week. No, but it was funny. Or

9:34

they would have poured you losing weight. How mental is that?

9:36

I mean, so toxic if you think about it

9:38

now. But like when back

9:40

then, like the diet was very different to I

9:43

assume what it is now. Right. But it's

9:45

so funny because I remember

9:47

once like so back then you have points, you

9:49

had a daily points and you go,

9:51

you go there, you group on a specific

9:54

day. Right. And it was totally

9:56

hilarious because all week you'd

9:59

be like doing your points.

9:59

Now back in my twenties, I was a party

10:02

girl.

10:02

So I like to go out. I loved the wine. That

10:05

was a lot of points. Your point was going out. Alcohol

10:08

and eating out, Mark. Eating

10:10

out. I loved a late night pizza and French fry, sure.

10:13

And in the morning, I needed some sort

10:15

of baking sandwich. But this one

10:17

day I remember going and I had a way and I was like,

10:19

oh gosh, this week's gonna be brutal.

10:22

I've been out a couple of times.

10:23

On the way there, clipping

10:25

her nails. She's cut her hair. I went

10:28

in. Took on the jewelry off. I

10:30

had a weighing dress. No, no. What?

10:33

That was basically like the thinnest material you could find. It was basically

10:36

like, yeah. Wearing tissue paper.

10:38

Yeah. I didn't even wear my heavy pants.

10:41

Do you know what I mean? Right. And it did

10:43

help. I had to get the socks off. Right.

10:46

Okay. Right. Stepped on the

10:48

scales. Couple of pounds on. I

10:50

knew it was happening. I knew it was gonna happen. No

10:52

clamp. But I still went. Oh, what

10:55

a shame. I

10:57

knew I was gonna. I don't know why I was

10:59

acting in front of her. Anyway, she went to

11:01

me.

11:02

Oh, do you know what it is?

11:04

Do you know where you've gone wrong, Roxanne? Do you know what's happened

11:06

this week? And I was like, well,

11:10

I do remember having a croissant.

11:14

She went, oh, okay,

11:16

that's fine. Did you point it in

11:18

your points? And I was like, yeah,

11:21

but the problem was there was

11:23

four sausages in it. Like

11:26

they were the most buttery baddest.

11:28

So this whole meal was like a whole week's worth

11:30

of food. I've never had

11:32

sausages in a croissant.

11:34

Mate, it is banging. With

11:36

ketchup? Oh, wow. Toasted flat. And

11:39

if you want to go really hard, put a bit of cheese

11:41

in. Right. So she went, oh, a

11:44

sausage in a croissant.

11:47

And I went, and she went, really?

11:53

A sausage in a

11:55

croissant. Wow. She was

11:57

horrified. in

12:00

you. She basically was like, go and sit

12:02

down,

12:03

you piece of what the heck. And

12:05

I sat there like,

12:06

sausage in a croissant.

12:12

I had to go to the pub opposite and have

12:14

a drink after because I felt so bad.

12:17

Wow. It was counterproductive. Counterproductive.

12:20

I'll be honest, that doesn't beat the

12:22

story I have of one of

12:24

your diets. This is something we've... This is one of

12:26

the things that at

12:29

some point, this was going back a few years before the kids,

12:32

you was trying this... Someone had told you about it

12:34

at work, like cutting out bread, is

12:37

it?

12:37

Oh yeah, carbs. It wasn't

12:39

trendy. I

12:42

don't recommend any of this, but back in

12:44

the day, Atkins was all the rage.

12:46

I don't know if that's his Atkins. No

12:48

carbs it was. Okay. So, rocks was... No

12:50

breads. No, you know, no carbohydrates.

12:53

I don't know. No carbs before marbs.

12:55

All I know was you wasn't eating bread. That

12:58

was like... I don't really remember, but

13:01

at this point you was not eating bread, right? I remember

13:03

you came into the living

13:05

room and you went,

13:07

I've looked in the fridge. I

13:10

was like, right? You went,

13:13

there's nothing to eat. I went,

13:15

what do you mean? And

13:17

she went, there's nothing to eat in the fridge.

13:20

All there is, is things for a sandwich.

13:23

And I'm not eating bread, so

13:26

I'm going to order a Chinese. Sorry,

13:32

the logical thing for you, because

13:35

you wasn't going to have a ham

13:37

sandwich because you're not eating bread.

13:41

Or she was going to order a Chinese takeaway.

13:43

I always

13:46

found a way to get what I wanted, to

13:48

be fair. And that for

13:50

you was, wow, I'm not eating bread. That's

13:52

like, I forgot

13:54

that. And I remember vividly, I had a ham sandwich

13:57

and you ordered special fries. as

14:01

sweet as that chicken. Chicken balls,

14:03

like the whole thing. They

14:06

were like, wow, I'm not eating bread, am I? I'm

14:08

not eating bread. I've told them I'm off bread.

14:11

Oh

14:14

my God. It was incredible. How awful was that? That

14:17

reminds me of the, I

14:20

remember I once was just on a vegetable,

14:23

like a vegetable thing, right? And

14:25

I managed to convince myself,

14:28

I remember being with people, I was training,

14:31

sat down, right?

14:34

We were all ordering food, and

14:36

they were like, ordering, you know, like

14:38

vegetables, basically. And I was like, right.

14:41

Not vegetables. Vegetables, that's

14:43

a potato, right? I love chips.

14:46

I ordered some chips. I love chips. I love

14:48

chips. I've been there, you was gonna say chips.

14:50

I ordered a plate of chips, and

14:52

with cheese on. What

14:55

are you, five a day, innit? With a bunch of, like

14:57

people eating greens, the whole, honestly.

15:00

Oh, no wonder, no wonder.

15:03

I just hated it. But you know what?

15:05

There is a lot of pressure, and it gets to

15:07

summer, and everyone wants to look good for summer,

15:10

and you know, everyone's going on holidays. It's that time of year,

15:13

and you know, you're gonna get a bit more flesh out. You wanna

15:15

feel good walking along the beach, or being

15:18

in a pool. And I'm

15:20

terrible, right? Because I start thinking about

15:22

this, about a week and a half,

15:24

before I go away. I'll be like,

15:27

all right. And then I'm like, oh God, I go

15:29

away in a week and a half. I've gotta sort myself

15:32

out, right?

15:32

I was eating at Domino's for four weeks before.

15:34

Yeah, I've done no work, really. But

15:37

a week and a half out, I'll go, oh, I'll go on holiday.

15:40

Oh, all right. I wanna look good in my trunks,

15:42

right? So,

15:44

I'll try really hard for like a

15:46

week, not to overeat. And

15:48

then the minute I get on holiday, it'll be all inclusive.

15:50

First meal you have. Fry up. Fry

15:53

up. And then I eat about five meals a day.

15:56

Because it's all inclusive and the fruit's effectively

15:59

free.

15:59

side cake with every meal and

16:02

a roll and a carb. Honestly

16:05

it's so funny because it's sad.

16:07

Right all inclusive holidays it's

16:09

I'm gonna say it's impossible to eat

16:12

responsibly. I think everyone I've been

16:14

on I've gained at least a stone and then

16:16

come back loved it. Oh

16:18

gladly. My highlight was a stone and a half. I

16:21

remember that one. That was what do you remember on

16:23

the last day I had six steaks. It's

16:26

impossible it's impossible to eat.

16:29

You

16:29

went you went oh

16:31

going back tomorrow I'm gonna have to eat healthy.

16:33

Right you went you came back

16:36

you had six steaks on

16:39

his plate and three portions of

16:41

chips. We

16:44

are the most stupidest like

16:47

if we were just balanced the whole

16:49

of our life. We were but

16:51

it's impossible at an all-inclusive

16:54

to be balanced. Yeah I mean it is for

16:56

me. Or the chicken and the salad you know we

16:58

could just do that. It's a great starter. I

17:03

love a chicken salad starter followed

17:05

by you know the steaks and then the desserts

17:08

especially in you in an all-inclusive.

17:10

I admire them people as well that go running

17:12

or run along the beach on holiday. I

17:15

take Mark do I not? I

17:17

take my leggings

17:19

and my gym bra and my trainers

17:22

to every holiday.

17:23

Rox takes her ink

17:25

quotation marks her running

17:28

trainers on holiday every

17:31

time I go on holiday. How many times have

17:33

you ever wore them on holiday? Those trainers have

17:35

never run on a beach. They've

17:39

never made it out of the case. If anything

17:41

the intention's there. That's the pressure

17:44

of today's life. I'll be honest

17:46

with you now now as I've got older

17:48

I realize the craziness that was drilled

17:51

into me. You're not accepted if you're

17:53

a plus-sized woman or a man

17:55

actually but

17:57

it's all about balance which I think is

17:59

the best. still don't really put to

18:01

right. It's all about moderation. Moderation,

18:04

balance. And we, growing up, was taught

18:07

exercise was to lose weight. But it's

18:09

not just that. It is to make your mind feel

18:11

good. I've realised now as I've got older, exercise

18:14

makes me feel good. And then that makes

18:16

you healthier. But yeah, I

18:18

still, do you know what? I still,

18:20

I

18:21

still feel like that's just... Well,

18:23

I'll let you know. I'm a couple

18:25

of weeks into my fasting.

18:27

I'll let you know how I get on. You're enjoying

18:28

it. You know what? First

18:31

few days, like it was a struggle. Now I'm

18:33

kind of just into the routine of it. Oh God, I

18:36

hated it. Honestly, my body clung

18:38

on to all of its fat. And

18:40

if anything, I gained weight,

18:42

didn't I? Of course you did. I did. That's because you was

18:44

eating ham by the family

18:46

load. A quart

18:49

to seven every night. Guys, let

18:51

us know. Let us know if you have tried any

18:53

crazy diet plans,

18:55

how you feel about getting into, you know,

18:57

closer to summer and, you know... The pressure that you feel.

18:59

The pressure of it.

19:01

Let us know on the Ladbaby podcast

19:04

at gmail.com. Right, Rox, are

19:06

you ready for a Dial a Dilemma? I am.

19:10

Do you have a dilemma? Do

19:12

you need

19:13

some help in your life? Dial

19:16

a Dilemma! Hey! Right.

19:20

Sorry for the delay. My brain

19:22

was still... She said she was ready. I said I was

19:24

ready, but I weren't. Right, here we go. Dear

19:27

Mark and Rox, I'm a big fan all

19:29

the way from Australia.

19:31

G'day mate. G'day, Down Under. I

19:34

have a dilemma that I need your advice

19:36

on. Okay. Here's a backstory for

19:38

you. I went backpacking in 2019 and

19:41

met a girl that was from Australia. Lovely.

19:43

We clicked right away and became best friends

19:45

traveling throughout Europe for three whole months.

19:47

Wow. Amazing. When arriving

19:49

back in Australia, we spoke almost

19:52

every day. We would make plans

19:54

to see each other two to three times

19:56

a year as we live eight hours away from

19:58

each other. Cool.

19:59

Christmas and birthday, we send one another presents,

20:02

but my birthday has just gone in April

20:04

and I received nothing. I found

20:07

that she can take up to four weeks to

20:09

get back to me and it started to bring

20:11

up feelings of resentment

20:13

when she does that.

20:15

Okay. So she's unhappy that she's

20:17

not responding as quickly. She's told me that she's

20:19

struggling with her mental health. And

20:23

that she doesn't mean to not reply to

20:25

me, but it feels like I'm

20:27

the last on her list for priorities.

20:30

Okay. My dilemma, I'm getting

20:32

married late next year and I have asked

20:35

her to be my bridesmaid. Oh,

20:37

congratulations. But I'm

20:39

now feeling that she shouldn't be part

20:42

of this

20:43

when she can't even reply to me.

20:45

I feel like the friendship is slipping

20:48

and she doesn't care as much as I do. What

20:50

should I do? Should I take her out

20:52

of my wedding plans? Should I just accept

20:55

the friendship for what it is?

20:57

I've spoken to her about this and it makes me feel

20:59

when she does not reply and said

21:02

that she would try hard, sorry,

21:04

and she said that she would try harder, but

21:06

I feel like it's not happened.

21:09

She's one in a million person and that

21:11

is why I'm finding it so hard to make

21:13

this decision. Please help.

21:15

Very hard. It's

21:18

difficult, isn't it? So they

21:20

met, did you say 2019? Yeah,

21:23

they met. It

21:26

was very beginning, I went. Yeah, 2018, I think

21:28

you said. No,

21:31

she met 2019, yes, sorry.

21:35

It's hard, isn't it? Because...

21:38

I feel like, so do you want me to go

21:40

straight? I feel like COVID and

21:43

time and friendships, so

21:45

I've had some friendships of 10 years and 20 years and

21:49

then some new, some in

21:51

the current, like only a few

21:52

years old. And

21:55

it's really hard because in my 20s, my

21:58

friendships were so different and you...

22:00

You change, like if you have children, if you get married,

22:02

if your priorities are different, if you're not seeing people,

22:05

things change, especially when mental health

22:07

is involved as well. After COVID,

22:09

I feel like also people did

22:11

change a lot. People changed their priorities

22:14

and who they wanted to see.

22:15

Yeah, I mean, the position

22:18

I'm in today, the

22:19

person I was

22:20

two years ago, four years ago, six

22:23

years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago. So

22:26

different. It's so different. Yeah. And

22:29

a lot of friends that along that time come

22:31

with you. And there's some that don't because

22:34

your priorities are changing. You know,

22:36

I obviously got married, I had kids, you

22:38

know, me and you have both moved from cities

22:41

like...

22:41

We've grown up a bit really. And

22:44

when we had children, it changed our whole entire

22:46

life. Yeah.

22:48

So it's hard for,

22:51

I don't know, friendships to be as strong

22:53

as what they were when you first met. You

22:56

know, when you were backpacking, I mean,

22:59

I've never done it, but I imagine it's quite exciting.

23:01

You're seeing the world, very little responsibility.

23:04

Now we're what, three or

23:06

four years on from that. You don't know what position they're

23:08

in. If they're struggling with their mental health,

23:11

that's got to be tough. And maybe she

23:13

doesn't feel like she can...

23:15

She doesn't want to ruin your wedding, maybe. Maybe

23:17

she doesn't want to ruin your wedding. Maybe she

23:19

doesn't want to tell you about it. Maybe she feels embarrassed about

23:21

it. Maybe she's anxious about traveling or... And

23:23

I do feel like maybe if you could have

23:25

a bigger conversation with her or

23:28

even ask her if she's okay,

23:30

but at the same time, you need to protect yourself. It's

23:32

your wedding. If that's something

23:35

you want to do, if something that you're

23:37

not sure of, I think maybe go ahead

23:39

and

23:39

plan your wedding how

23:42

you want it.

23:42

I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd plan, I'd

23:44

speak to her about it. As you say, you're trying to have a bigger conversation,

23:47

try and go, oh, look, I don't know if

23:49

you're wanting to talk about the mental health side of things

23:51

or how you're feeling. That's totally up to you, but

23:54

I'd love you to be there. I would love you

23:56

to be a bridesmaid. I'm going to plan

23:58

the wedding as long

23:59

as I can.

23:59

you're not coming, because I imagine you've got more

24:02

than one bridesmaid, you know, most people have a few. So

24:04

I'm going to plan the wedding as

24:06

though you're not coming.

24:07

Don't bring it up. And

24:10

if you do come,

24:11

what, that's going to be amazing. Yeah, how amazing. Don't

24:13

give her like responsibilities

24:15

for the wedding. Like, don't give her like, you know, she's

24:18

got to show people to see, so she's got to hold the

24:20

bouquet. Don't give her a job other than being

24:22

a bridesmaid. Yeah. And then if she comes,

24:25

amazing. And if she doesn't, it doesn't kind of

24:28

ruin your day. And everyone changes.

24:30

Like, you know, people say, oh, you've changed.

24:32

And you go, and I always think, well, yeah,

24:35

like, how amazing is that? But not

24:37

everyone can come with you. And not everyone

24:39

can actually, you know, will understand

24:42

your day to day. If you don't see each other a lot,

24:44

she might not know and you might not know everything

24:46

going on in their life. So I hope

24:48

you have the best wedding regardless.

24:51

Don't ever let that ruin your wedding.

24:52

Have the most amazing

24:55

wedding. 100%. Don't

24:57

let it affect your wedding. And there's

24:59

gonna be, look, loads of people there that love you, family,

25:02

friends, you're gonna be marrying the person

25:05

of your dreams. Yeah. What

25:07

more could you possibly want?

25:08

Maybe she wanted to marry you. And actually,

25:11

she's just gel. I

25:13

went Jerry Springer.

25:16

Maybe she secretly loves

25:18

you. And she can't bring

25:20

herself to come to the wedding. Because

25:23

she's seeing you marry someone else.

25:25

Or she slept with your husband to be.

25:27

I'm

25:29

making it worse. None of those things exist.

25:32

Don't don't don't don't think that. But

25:34

yeah, you never know.

25:35

I hope that helps. I

25:37

genuinely do.

25:39

If you've got a dilemma that you want me and Rox to talk

25:41

about, do get in touch on the Ladbaby

25:44

podcast at gmail.com.

25:46

And again, congratulations on your

25:48

wedding.

25:51

Ladies and gentlemen, this

25:54

is your date night diaries. Date

25:59

night.

26:00

Day, night, diaries. You know what? So

26:03

I've got kind of two tonight.

26:04

Oh, you'd be spoiling

26:06

us. Yes, I have got two. So

26:10

one of them, I mean, it's kind of

26:12

a date, but it didn't fit into any other

26:15

feature that we did, but I wanted to tell the story because the email

26:17

was so good. Okay, so I'm gonna call this

26:19

a date, okay? So, hey, Marker Rocks, you

26:21

guys literally give me life. Every Thursday,

26:23

I spend my boring, I

26:26

do my boring weekly house

26:28

chores. Cracking up to your podcast.

26:31

I now look forward to doing the housework, so

26:33

thank you.

26:33

Hey, all my

26:36

housework crew, give you up. Glad

26:38

it makes it a little bit more valuable. When

26:40

I was a little kid, I was bought up

26:43

on some pretty epic music

26:46

legends. My friends were dancing

26:48

around to cheesy pop and I was being taken

26:50

to my parents, by my parents to gigs

26:52

by some of the rock and roll greats.

26:55

Oh, wow, pray do tell. Meatloaf

26:58

was my absolute favorite. Yes.

27:01

And we'd been to see him in concerts

27:04

multiple times. Anyway,

27:06

young, little, innocent eight-year-old

27:08

me, I had a diary which I wrote

27:11

in every single night. In the

27:13

diary, I expressed my desire to

27:15

one day meet Meatloaf in person and

27:18

tell him how much I adored him

27:20

in his music.

27:21

It was a proper, gushy, embarrassing

27:23

passage about how much I looked up to

27:26

him. Where is this going? But it didn't

27:28

matter because no one was ever going to read

27:30

this diary. So it didn't care. So I didn't

27:32

care. That means someone's going to read it.

27:34

How wrong I was.

27:35

Oh, no. A few months

27:38

later, my dreams came true. Meatloaf

27:40

did a book signing for his autobiography.

27:43

And of course, along we went to

27:46

meet my idol. Suddenly, it

27:48

was our turn.

27:49

And the sweet little innocence version

27:51

of me walked up

27:53

with my shaking hands to meet

27:55

the man himself. It was incredible

27:59

until... Oh, no. No, what? My

28:01

mum reached into her bag

28:04

and whipped out my diary. No!

28:07

Turning to the exact page she had earmarked

28:10

and proceed to read out the entire

28:12

thing to Meatloaf himself.

28:14

Not only that, she got him to

28:16

sign the page. No, that is

28:20

mother! I'd be like, mother!

28:22

Needless to say, I never wrote

28:24

in the diary again and I'm still mortified

28:27

at the age of 34 and a half.

28:29

Your mum stitched you right

28:31

up. Emma in Southampton. What

28:33

a great story, though. What

28:36

a great story. I would have never

28:38

forgiven my mother for such a thing. And Meatloaf

28:40

just thinks you're an absolute nutbag.

28:43

I... Ha ha ha

28:45

ha ha! Emma, you have... I've

28:47

just got one question. Do you still have it?

28:50

Do...

28:51

Set a picture. We want a photo,

28:53

Emma. If you've still got this diary and

28:55

there's a photo in existence of this page...

28:57

Please tell me you framed it and it's on the wall

29:00

with your toilet or something. Do you know what I mean? Just

29:02

to, you know, haunt you. So... I

29:04

don't know if that was a date. It was kind

29:06

of a date. It was fun. It was fun. A day-date meeting

29:09

Meatloaf. But I felt like I had to read that out. So,

29:11

anyway, OK. So this is the other story I've got. So, Emma,

29:14

we need an update from you.

29:15

Right, here's the other one.

29:16

Another one. Hi, Mark and Rox. Love

29:18

the podcast. Keep... Please keep me

29:20

anonymous. Oh, it's going

29:23

to be brutal! It's going to be good!

29:25

Right, go on. I work for the police. And

29:28

we were called to a 9-9-9 call where

29:31

there was a disturbance heard from a property.

29:34

Ooh.

29:39

I'm adding drama. On

29:41

arrival, we could hear shouting. So I

29:43

banged on the door and a woman opened

29:45

up. I was immediately taken aback

29:48

as she was dressed in a sexy red

29:50

riding hood outfit. Ooh! Complete

29:53

with whip. Wow!

29:56

I composed myself and told her we needed

29:58

to come in to check if everything was right.

29:59

was okay.

30:01

She went beetroot red but allowed us in.

30:03

Same as her hood. Same

30:05

as her hood. She then

30:07

explained that she

30:10

had been in the middle of a dominatrix scene

30:13

with somebody. Hello. What

30:15

on? What on telly?

30:17

I went into the lounge and saw

30:20

a female sat in a hoodie laughing

30:22

her head off as she realised what was

30:24

happening. I then looked to my left

30:27

and had yet another shock.

30:29

There

30:29

was a man sat there dressed

30:32

as what? A wolf as Alice

30:34

in Wonderland. No,

30:39

what? He's like fantasy

30:42

land or what? A bloke dressed as Alice

30:44

in Wonderland. The

30:48

final shot came

30:50

when I then looked to my right. There was

30:52

a camera set up with a blinking red light.

30:55

It turned out they had been filming an adult

30:57

movie. I asked Sexy

31:00

Red Riding Hood

31:01

how we had been called

31:03

to this address. She told me that they

31:05

had been live streaming. There's been an emergency.

31:08

Come in officer. Well,

31:10

they said they'd been live streaming on the internet

31:13

and the roots had been playing up.

31:14

So she had leaned over to try

31:16

and sort it out and her nipple tassel must

31:18

have dialled 999. That's a lie.

31:21

That's got to be a lie. Her

31:24

nipple tassel dialled 999.

31:26

No. No. No bit of shrink

31:28

could call 999 Mark. It

31:30

must have been an actual nipple

31:33

or a... No, they've

31:35

deliberately done that. They've brought

31:37

the police around. They want the police

31:40

in 999. They want the police? Little Red Riding Hood

31:42

in a tower needs rescuing.

31:44

With Alice in Wonderland. Yeah.

31:47

Alice in Wonderland. Alice in Wonderland. She

31:51

had a period around. Alice

31:54

in Wonderland. I mean, it feels

31:56

like they've been brought in to be part of the show, doesn't it?

31:58

Yes. And the camera...

31:59

still rolling. For sure. With the police

32:02

knocking down the door if she was banging loud.

32:05

That's oh I meant the door.

32:07

After checking everyone was

32:09

of a consenting adult age

32:12

me and my colleague left. He

32:15

was a student officer so I played the tutor

32:17

card and made him update the

32:20

comms so we were professional.

32:23

He wrote exactly what had happened and

32:25

then for the rest of the evening all we could hear

32:27

down the radio transmission was the

32:29

operators laughing at us. Of course.

32:32

Sorry Sarge we've been called to Little Red

32:34

Riding Hood's house. Alice in Wonderland

32:36

has lost and gone down the rabbit hole and

32:39

the router

32:40

has had a malfunction. I

32:46

could have been a place woman couldn't I? Delta

32:49

Bravo, GTI 1,

32:51

Alpha and Romeo. Alpha

32:55

Romeo. You see the car?

32:58

Alpha Romeo she's just seen a car. One

33:01

of them people that does the you know

33:03

the alphabet thing. You know what what

33:05

is it? The uh. Yeah

33:07

yeah. I do like J for John.

33:10

J for John. B for

33:12

Bingo. O for Orangutan.

33:16

Alpha Delta Bravo Johnny.

33:20

Rock's trying to give letters

33:23

and numbers on her phone is incredible

33:25

when she's on the phone to like car insurance.

33:28

Yeah. R for

33:30

Robert. Robin

33:32

Hood. I just

33:35

say what I see. B for

33:38

Big Big Balloon. Yeah.

33:42

Rock's is absolutely terrible at it. Guys

33:46

thank you for that incredible two

33:48

incredible date night diaries. They're

33:51

absolutely amazing. If you would

33:53

like to send us one of your date nights do

33:55

please.

33:55

At least she didn't blow

33:57

your house down. That

34:00

was a red riding a joke. No?

34:04

No. That was a three little pigs, wasn't it? Oh!

34:09

It's not even red riding a... Sorry, I'm thinking about this summer

34:11

diet, love. Oh,

34:15

yeah, wrong fairy tale. Sorry. Right,

34:17

OK. I've got to go. I've got to go. Moving

34:20

on. If you would like to send us all

34:23

your date night stories, do please

34:25

get in touch on the Ladbaby podcast

34:27

at gmail.com. This

34:32

is your confessions

34:34

of a housekeeper.

34:38

Confessions of a housekeeper. Oh,

34:41

this is right. This one isn't too bad today. Oh,

34:43

gosh. Honestly,

34:45

I get fed up of feeling sick in my own mouth

34:47

after every time of this, so... This... And

34:50

I'm glad I've not stayed in a hotel for quite some time. This

34:52

is...

34:52

Isn't something

34:54

that's happened in a hotel that's going to put you off?

34:57

This is just like an embarrassing story that someone's had in a hotel. Fine.

35:00

OK, so it falls in the confessions of a housekeeper

35:02

because, yeah, it does.

35:04

It's hotel related. OK, DM R. Markham Rocks. I

35:06

love the podcast. I listen every

35:08

Friday on the way to work on my commute

35:10

to Nottingham. Oh! Close

35:13

to home. Hello. Years

35:15

ago, this guy I was dating at the time was

35:18

staying in a hotel in Nottingham for the night

35:20

because he was going on his uni reunion

35:22

night out. Nice. OK, lovely.

35:26

I was a uni student at the time and I went

35:29

to visit him at the hotel for lunch. We ordered mac and cheese...

35:31

He ordered mac and cheese,

35:33

which I tried a tablespoon amount of. We

35:36

decided to go back up to his hotel room

35:38

where he was going to have a bath before getting

35:40

ready. And

35:41

I thought I could give him a little sexy

35:44

treat together in the bath before his...

35:46

Ooh! Before his mate

35:48

turned up, who he

35:49

was sharing the room with. Nice. OK,

35:51

so

35:51

she's gone. She's gone for lunch. They've

35:53

had a bit of mac and cheese. Now she's going to... Perfect

35:56

day.

35:56

Perfect day. Go up to the hotel

35:58

room. Give him a little sexy time.

36:01

He packs down and chays, or washed down

36:03

with a little bit of bath time. Okay,

36:06

for a bit of context, he's a paraplegic

36:09

full-time wheelchair user,

36:11

and independently got himself in

36:13

the bath, but that can take some time.

36:16

Right.

36:17

Okay, I feel like that's an important update

36:19

we're getting.

36:20

I'm about to get undressed to join him

36:22

in the bath,

36:23

when suddenly my

36:25

stomach growls. Oh. Oh

36:28

no. He's in the bath, is he?

36:31

He's in the bath. He's in the

36:33

bath. She's about to join him.

36:35

The stomach is growling. Tell me there's a bathroom.

36:39

No, they're in the room. They're

36:41

in the bathroom. They're in a hotel. He's in the bath,

36:44

right?

36:45

Next thing I know,

36:46

I run to the toilet

36:48

and proceed to have the worst,

36:51

I'm gonna say bowel movement, and not the

36:53

word they've used, have the worst bowel movement

36:55

I've ever had. Full

36:57

body sweats. I

37:00

had to strip naked. The

37:02

worst stomach pain I've ever had, and

37:04

hot lava

37:06

coming out of my,

37:07

coming

37:09

out of my backside. It gets

37:12

worse. That's horrifying. Not only is

37:14

my date witnessing all this from the bath,

37:16

horrified and essentially stuck, unable

37:19

to get out,

37:20

but now his mate has arrived, and he's knocking

37:23

on the bathroom door. Oh my

37:25

God. Oh Lord.

37:26

What a horrific... Oh no. I

37:28

don't know where to go. What would you do? Honestly,

37:31

I can't even wee in front of you. If I had

37:34

that sort of

37:35

movement in front of me, I'd have a meltdown.

37:38

Safe to say. Oh, that poor woman.

37:40

As soon as I felt slightly better, which

37:42

felt like a lifetime, I

37:45

quickly dressed,

37:46

wished them a good night and ran away.

37:49

10 years

37:52

later, we're still together. Yeah. I've

37:54

been married for five years. There's a happy

37:57

ending. But I do now tend to avoid mac

37:59

and cheese. Did he look

38:01

away? Did he look at her? Can

38:04

you imagine? Can you imagine having the absolute

38:10

diarrheas

38:14

in front of you in the bath?

38:16

I think you'd just be crying laughing.

38:19

Yeah, but he's ready for a bit of sexy time.

38:22

He's up for a bit of action. Next thing

38:24

he sees

38:26

is her sweating,

38:29

pouring herself out into the toilet.

38:31

It's a

38:33

tragic situation. What a guy though.

38:35

He married her still. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I

38:38

mean, that's incredible, isn't it? 10 years later,

38:40

we're still together. We've been happily married for nearly five

38:42

years. I don't think I could deal with that.

38:45

I'm a real prude. I can't even we in

38:48

front of people. I struggle

38:50

with that. I get like we fright. Let

38:52

alone. I

38:54

mean, if you got to go. Me and Rox

38:56

have been together for, I don't know, 13,

38:59

14 years now and I've never

39:01

witnessed Roxanne on the toilet. No,

39:03

I can't. I don't know what it is.

39:05

Like people be like, oh my goodness, we fart. We we.

39:08

I just genuinely, and I don't judge

39:10

anyone for doing that at all. It's

39:12

just something I just can't cope

39:14

with. It took me so

39:17

long to get used to the kids when I'm having a

39:19

wee coming in going, mum, can I have

39:21

a packet of crucial? Ma'am. Standing

39:23

there. I'm like, oh, like,

39:27

I'm fully coped. I'm just horrified.

39:29

Yeah. I don't know why. I mean, I'm

39:31

not bothered, but I think because you're so

39:33

like, think about it. You've never come

39:36

into the toilet when I'm in the toilet.

39:37

I would never walk in on you going to. I

39:39

think the toilet is quite a private place.

39:42

Yeah. I'll just work. But then again,

39:44

if

39:44

I'm a bit drunk and I have been with my friends,

39:47

they'll be like, sometimes they go, should

39:49

we go and wee together? And I'm like, oh,

39:52

and I feel like I get into a situation where I'm like, we

39:54

have to go in and wee, you know, and I really don't

39:56

want to. And one of my friends was

39:59

like, come on, let's.

39:59

just share it because we're queuing.

40:02

So I went in and I just turned around

40:04

and faced the door. And she was like, what are

40:06

you doing? And I was like, just facing.

40:09

I was like, I can't look, I can't cope with seeing

40:11

you wait. She was like,

40:12

you've known me 15 years. Are you all

40:14

right? Okay. But how would you

40:16

cope in like a male toilet?

40:18

Because it's your rhinos. That is my worst

40:21

nightmare. It's your rhinos. Worst

40:23

nightmare. So I could be stood there

40:26

in a line of like, like an airport,

40:28

right? There'd be like 10 urinals all

40:30

next to each other. You've

40:31

got your long john out in front of everyone. And

40:33

everyone is stood looking

40:35

down in a like essentially just

40:38

like next to each other, all having a wing. Absolutely

40:39

not. I cannot cope

40:42

with you having your slung

40:44

out in front of everyone. I can't cope with that

40:47

scenario. I think there's a problem

40:49

with men. You don't see it. You don't like, you don't because.

40:51

I don't see anything, even when women wee in front

40:53

of you, you don't see their vagina, do you? You

40:56

don't see it. Because they're sat

40:58

down. You can't see it.

40:59

I think at a urinal,

41:01

there's a tendency to think you would see

41:04

everyone's manhood, but you don't really. But

41:06

any fluid releasing from me,

41:09

I just don't think I could deal with. Do

41:12

you know how hard it was for me to give birth

41:14

in front of a group of people? Like,

41:17

because there's a doctor, there was like the nurse,

41:19

there was you, the anesthetist. Honestly,

41:22

the battle I had to overcome

41:24

in my brain to allow that many humans

41:27

to see my lower area was horrendous.

41:29

Well,

41:29

I never went down the business end, did I?

41:31

No, I made you say looking at me

41:33

because someone once said that it was

41:36

like watching a pub burn down. Your favorite pub burn

41:38

down. Yeah. Well, rocks

41:40

wouldn't allow me to look

41:43

like basically below her belly. No. So

41:45

I basically stayed by

41:47

Rox's face as she gave birth.

41:49

And I know you wanted to see the suns

41:52

come into the world, but I think you

41:54

were happy with them just landing on my chest.

41:56

Yeah. I mean, the first time I saw them was

41:59

when they was. like, yeah, lifted, lifted

42:01

out. It's like, I don't think you'll ever

42:03

not get that head

42:08

out of vagina, out of your brain. And

42:11

even me, I couldn't even

42:14

look at that myself. Right. So

42:17

I was forbidding you

42:18

to do it. Gladly.

42:22

I didn't fight that. I

42:25

didn't, I didn't argue with you. That was an okay.

42:27

There's this thing, isn't there? Like once you

42:29

have a memory of that, like I remember once a grandparent

42:32

of mine, very old, very happy life, but

42:35

I had to go and like, you know, when you have to make

42:37

sure that the body's their body, so I had to go and see

42:39

them and make sure it was them.

42:41

Right. I identify them in

42:44

the morgue. Right.

42:46

But that memory, even

42:48

though they were happy, they died of natural causes, everything,

42:50

the memory of them, my first

42:53

memory now is them dead.

42:55

Fine. So your first memory

42:57

is your last memory with them. Yeah. So

42:59

like my, I don't, I didn't

43:01

want your first memory of the kids coming into the

43:03

world being my humongous.

43:06

Yeah.

43:07

Boonani. And

43:11

me screaming. I feel like it

43:13

was not. Well, there we go. We've got, we've got around

43:15

the houses. You are prying yourself

43:18

while your fellow is in the bath has now resorted

43:20

into rock, talking about a dead man. If

43:24

you have time

43:25

to be alive. We've said

43:27

last week, if you have got

43:29

a confession of a housekeeper,

43:32

you've been a housekeeper, something that's happened that

43:34

a housekeeper might have had to deal with, please

43:37

do get in touch on the Lab Baby podcast.

43:39

If you have a memory, you'd rather forget. Please

43:42

do. Please

43:43

do write in so I don't feel crazy.

43:46

If you've got a memory you'd like to forget, let us know

43:48

and we can tell thousands of people about it. Living

43:54

with us. Savin' out. Savin'

43:56

out. Alright. Oi oi.

43:59

How you doing?

44:00

Savané! Oi oi! It

44:04

sure is the apple of my eye. Oi oi oi!

44:08

This is a section of the show, ladies and gentlemen, where we teach rocks

44:10

on how to talk properly. Yeah

44:12

yeah. We're picking up from where we left off last

44:14

week where rocks passingly

44:16

made a comment about a word and I've

44:19

written it down and we're going to talk about it again. Are

44:21

you ready for the word?

44:22

I'm ready for the word. What is it this week?

44:25

Ha Oh Ra

44:28

S E E

44:31

which doesn't phonetically sound but it's

44:33

horse Osu Mmm

44:36

mmm mmm No no Look

44:38

at that osu! No no it's not the word you're saying

44:40

is it? I don't know why you've got a problem with this. Horse

44:44

Because anyone who's got osu would say osu. Right

44:46

you're just dropping the hate and you're just going

44:48

osu. Osu yeah. Yeah where's the

44:50

hate? Where's the hate gone in your... Yeah it's silent

44:53

isn't it? No it's not it's not a silent hate.

44:55

You've got a lovely osu over here. Osu. Look

44:59

at me osu! Got some apples on me osu! No

45:01

it just doesn't work. It does.

45:04

Where are you getting osu from? To be fair Phoenix

45:06

did say to me this week, Mum why are you saying

45:08

osu and not horse? Not horse. Horse.

45:11

Yeah I did I

45:13

wondered if he was going to bring this up because he did question

45:15

me on it. Yeah. I'll be honest with you I

45:17

think I used to ride horses.

45:20

Horses with

45:20

a H. Not

45:22

as I say as the dictionary says. When you get

45:25

on osu you know you're

45:27

trotting along. Look at me osu! She's

45:29

doing a little wiggle movement. Hey I'm on

45:31

me osu! Wahey what are they boy?

45:34

Like it's just you know

45:36

when you're a horse rider. Horse

45:37

rider. You say osu! Horse. Get

45:40

that osu! Get it saddled up. You

45:42

always give me this whole spiel about

45:44

you talk the Queen's English right? Yeah. Oh

45:47

grass. Gloss. You talk

45:50

with like this element of like you're talking

45:52

in a posher manner. Well

45:53

you think King Charles ain't going to

45:56

Camilla. Alright Camille would

45:58

you like to ride my horse?

45:59

No, he's going, Camille, do you

46:02

want to go out on the horse? No, no, no, no, no,

46:04

no, no, no, no. It's not in

46:06

public. No, you give

46:08

this high and mighty, oh, I speak the Queen's English,

46:10

I drink from a glass, I walk

46:13

on the grass, I...

46:14

I love a path. Yeah, I

46:16

love a path. I love

46:18

a horse. Oh, there's that horse. Horse,

46:22

if anything, it's more

46:24

posh. Horse. Horse.

46:27

Horse. It's a

46:29

good old overbite, like me, horse.

46:32

Horse. Horse.

46:35

Oh, say, oh, say, don't you

46:37

stop. Just let your feet go,

46:39

clipper, a clop.

46:41

Mickey Flanagan's just watching. Oh.

46:46

Guys, if you have a word...

46:50

I've blown your mind, I know. If you have a word, I've

46:52

got no way to go. Don't even get me going on pony,

46:54

love.

46:55

If you've got

46:57

a word that you'd like me and Rox to talk

46:59

about for me to try and teach Roxanne, do please

47:01

get in touch on the Lab Baby podcast at gmail.com.

47:05

It's an ever-going passion of mine. We're going to get

47:07

there with you, Rox.

47:08

Well, you know, maybe one day

47:10

you might, but if anyone does have a Shetland

47:12

pony, it's been a dream of mine.

47:15

It's been a dream of mine to one day

47:17

let it walk through Mark's legs, because

47:19

I reckon he's tall enough to have a Shetland pony

47:21

walk through his legs. So do get in touch,

47:24

because I feel like that would make great content

47:26

for you all.

47:27

You done? Go on.

47:32

Name that sound. The

47:35

hardest quiz in the world. Hey!

47:38

Name that sound. Right, I'm going to play

47:40

a sound from a popular website

47:43

of soundboard clips. Did anyone get Last

47:45

Week's? Yes, Last Week's was too easy.

47:48

Oh, did I get it? Bow on the grass. That

47:52

was Last Week's sound. Bow on the grass. That

47:57

is a football being kicked along the grass. Stop!

48:02

Oh! It was too easy, wasn't it? I'm proud

48:04

of myself there. It was too easy.

48:07

Oh, it wasn't too easy. You keep

48:09

them like that. I feel like I've achieved

48:11

something. It

48:13

was far too easy. Almost everybody got

48:15

that one. So well done,

48:18

everybody. Forgetting

48:21

it right.

48:21

100 points to everyone.

48:24

I mean, again, it's really

48:26

hard to work out what

48:29

is hard

48:30

to hear, if that makes sense. Yeah.

48:33

When I'm choosing them, I'm like, because I

48:35

know what they are, I'm like, is that obvious or is it not? Right.

48:38

Because

48:38

you know them, but if you didn't know them, you think

48:40

it might actually be right. Yeah, it's really hard

48:42

to be subjective when I know what they are. So

48:45

right, here we go. Here's this week's sound. Are you ready? Go.

48:47

Anything

48:59

that has just chilled me right out. That's

49:01

like ASMR. Like a bit of ASMR. Oh,

49:05

was that a horse? Was

49:07

it all swaying? Oh, swaying. Do

49:09

you want to hear it again? It sounds like a cup of tea

49:11

being poured on round. Turn it up a little bit. Hold on. Sounds

49:14

like, well, it sounds like liquid

49:17

being poured on something. Oh,

49:24

I think it's a bit of a that

49:43

I feel like.

49:46

It could just be water though, water into it, like cold

49:48

water into a cup. You're trying to put me off because I've got it.

49:50

Cup of tea. It could be pouring a... No. Pouring

49:53

a lager. I'm locking that in, Jon. Rocks,

49:55

that could... I reckon.

49:56

That could be the sound of pouring wine

49:58

into a wine glass. That's

50:00

not wine love. I know a glass

50:03

of wine. It's too distant. This

50:06

might not be from a sound website. This could just be

50:08

me having a wee in the garden. That

50:12

might be you eating a bit of mac and cheese.

50:16

This is just me having a wee in the garden and some leaves.

50:18

I think that's

50:22

water in a

50:23

cup of tea.

50:25

Okay, water in a cup of tea.

50:27

You think that's a kettle? Yeah,

50:29

it could be that or like a race or a swing.

50:32

It does sound like a

50:35

urine coming from an animal. Could be a urinal.

50:37

Somebody winging to your urinal. Is that

50:39

what a urinal sounds like? It's just

50:41

a plug. A

50:44

plug? Yeah. I

50:47

thought it was a bit like a trough. There's

50:50

different sorts. There's

50:52

one that drops to the floor that's a long

50:54

one but they're more of the off. Oh my goodness, does that not

50:56

go all over your shoes? Yeah, they're kind of old fashioned

50:58

now. You don't get them anymore. But they used

51:00

to be from hip high all the way to

51:02

the floor

51:03

with a

51:04

trough that ran all the way to the end into one

51:07

plug. But now it's more like...

51:08

That is disgusting. I could not cope

51:11

with that. Yeah, that was harder for a splashback.

51:14

Especially if it's six foot eight. Yeah,

51:16

it's a long way to aim.

51:17

These days it's just like, yeah,

51:19

they're little oval shaped white. Like,

51:22

just essentially little sink type

51:25

shapes on the wall.

51:26

So that could just be somebody

51:29

winging into a urinal. Yeah,

51:35

no, I do think that's either an animal

51:37

urinating from a distance or

51:39

water being poured into a cup of tea. What are you

51:42

trying

51:42

to go for? Water into a cup of

51:44

tea. I leave the urinal.

51:47

She's going to stick to water. She's going to stay

51:49

clear of the urinal. Don't keep peeking. Guys,

51:52

that's it. Oh no.

51:55

I don't want it to be over, but I

51:57

get it has to be. Guys,

52:01

thank you so, so

52:04

much for joining us once again.

52:07

It's lovely spending the time with

52:09

you all. I hope you have the best week, the

52:11

best weekend. And remember,

52:14

keep positive, keep happy and

52:16

dance your way through

52:19

this song. Okay. It's going

52:21

to be the full version just for you

52:23

to dance on. Yes, it's a full version every week.

52:25

Come on, cake o'clock.

52:28

Oi, oi. Cake o'clock. I can't. Past

52:31

seven o'clock. Mate. I'll

52:35

eat your bit then. I

52:40

couldn't possibly have a sandwich. I'm going to order

52:42

a Chinese. You'd

52:48

love a sausage croissant. I'm

52:50

going to try that. Thank

52:53

you guys. See you next week. Bye. What

53:00

I need is a dance floor,

53:02

easy for wear. I

53:07

really need a hot

53:10

guy. A hot guy that

53:12

wants to be there. It's

53:15

been so long since I've lived my

53:18

life. Oh, yeah. This

53:23

dream is finally mine. And

53:26

I hope you take my

53:28

hand. So, baby,

53:31

come and join me. Yeah. You

53:35

got to live, love, love.

53:39

Cause life ain't so easy today.

53:41

Oh, aye. You got to live,

53:44

love, love. Love

53:48

me, love me, baby. You

53:52

got to listen to me, listen to me, listen to me, yeah.

53:55

I'm way too old to go to a beach. But

54:00

we don't care Love

54:04

her, love her, love me baby

54:08

Listen to me, listen to me Baby,

54:10

you're gonna join me You

54:14

got to live, love, love Cause

54:19

life ain't so easy today, oh I You

54:22

got to live, love, love I'm

54:30

gonna love you, love, love me baby