0:00

Hello and welcome back. Hi,

0:03

I'm Mark. I'm Rox. And this is

0:05

our podcast. Live, laugh, laugh,

0:07

the podcast.

0:10

Here we go. It's October.

0:13

Oi, oi, let's have

0:17

it.

0:24

What have you got to do, Rox? You've

0:26

got to live, laugh, laugh.

0:29

Even in the autumn? Even in the

0:31

autumn. Especially,

0:35

let down my hair. My

0:37

witch's hair. Guys,

0:42

welcome back to our podcast. Thank

0:44

you once again for joining us. Please,

0:47

if you don't already follow, like,

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subscribe the podcast. Please do

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on your podcast streaming service.

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Hit that little plus button. And if you

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enjoy the podcast, please give us a little

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review. If you want. If you

1:00

want. If you love us, please give us a little five

1:03

star review. We'd love you forever. We

1:05

have all your favourite features coming up today. Dial

1:07

a dilemma, date night diaries, confessions of

1:09

a housekeeper, one line wonders, living with

1:11

a Southerner

1:11

and name that sound.

1:15

Wow. What a week it's

1:17

been, my friends. I hope you're ready

1:19

to laugh your way through this one.

1:21

Because I'll be honest, it's

1:24

been a very, very busy week.

1:26

It has. And I've

1:28

got to report the sad news. Hold

1:30

on, where's my little sound? We

1:33

didn't win the listeners

1:35

choice award at the podcast awards.

1:39

And you know what? I blame all of you. He

1:43

said that to me. He blamed me.

1:45

Why didn't you all vote enough? No, I'm joking. I

1:48

just want

1:50

to say thank you genuinely from the bottom of my heart.

1:52

Thank you for even

1:55

voting for us. We was we was honoured to

1:57

even be in the category to be voted for. By the time.

2:00

those awards I think closed we'd only had 20 episodes

2:02

out. I think it was a miracle to be fair

2:05

we got nominated

2:07

into that podcast awards we've

2:09

done we had done 20 episodes

2:12

just to be in it and just to be in it and to

2:14

make it into the final five I mean it's kind

2:17

of unheard of yeah

2:19

so I think that's an accolade in itself

2:21

so thank you we did lose but

2:24

don't worry you know Mark fully embarrassed

2:26

us at the podcast awards Hold

2:29

on, hold on so Mia Ross went

2:31

to the podcast awards because very

2:34

last minute they asked us to help interview

2:36

so basically as people came off

2:38

the stage with their winning awards which obviously we didn't

2:40

have they asked us to interview

2:43

all the, is that rubbing salt in the wounds? They asked

2:45

us to interview all the winners

2:47

which I'll be honest I loved

2:49

because everyone who came off stage was

2:52

absolutely fussy

2:53

yeah they were they

2:55

were screaming most people were coming

2:57

off screaming

2:57

cause a lot of people didn't expect to win

3:00

and there were some amazing stories and me and Mark

3:02

we were backstage so we had like backstage

3:05

passes we were interviewing the people

3:07

as they came off and we got to meet all

3:10

of them and just see their joy

3:11

And that was lovely and that was lovely just to be part of

3:13

it and you know we haven't been doing podcasting

3:15

long so it felt we was in the thick of

3:17

it of podcasting but I'll be honest

3:20

Did you actually see the

3:22

show? No, cause we were backstage,

3:24

we were working it yeah but Rox was upset

3:27

with me from almost a get

3:29

go Right, think the thing about

3:31

you

3:31

right you have this rep

3:34

because I feel like people

3:36

you get lost in translation mode There

3:38

we go Cause

3:38

you're right Jack the Lad like in the sense

3:41

of you're like you're a wind up merchant

3:43

So you'll go like oh you know

3:46

yeah and you'll crack a joke But

3:48

I don't think some people get

3:50

you and they think you're just this

3:52

like

3:53

No no no no the hosts of the

3:55

podcast awards were like comedians

3:57

they were up there having jokes and that

3:59

was their job to win to entertain everyone with comedy

4:02

through the night. Yeah. And they

4:04

introduced that sort of podcast award

4:06

started. They were like, oh, hello everyone, welcome here.

4:08

This is podcast awards. We'd like to introduce you

4:10

to our backstage hosts tonight.

4:12

Yeah, make sure you go and see them if you win.

4:15

It's Mark and Roxanne from Lab Baby,

4:17

right? Big round of applause, lovely. That

4:20

was amazing, actually. Went up on the stage, we

4:22

walked up, and I got greeted with the

4:24

single

4:25

top thing

4:26

I'm greeted

4:28

with, with 99% of everyone I ever meet in life. I

4:33

walk onto a stage in front of a crowd of people with

4:35

a microphone and they go, it's Mark and

4:38

Roxanne from Lab Baby, hey, flipping

4:40

hell, you're tall, aren't you?

4:43

So.

4:43

Right, now I'm gonna throw this out

4:45

there to all the listeners, right?

4:48

What should I say? What is

4:50

the funny answer I can give? Yeah.

4:54

Right, this is my point. I'm struggling with this now.

4:56

My answer was when they went, oh,

4:59

aren't you tall? It's

5:01

making me cringe. Yeah, and good looking,

5:04

hey!

5:04

This

5:06

is like all good science where

5:08

people don't know if you're like,

5:11

actually, you're good

5:13

looking. It's all joking.

5:15

You say it like David Brent though.

5:17

You say it's so deadpan.

5:19

Yeah, but I do it with, it's ironic, isn't it? Oh, and good

5:22

looking, whee! Sometimes

5:24

I think people think you're serious and

5:27

you're that arrogant. No. So I go,

5:28

ha ha ha, I'm modest! I like

5:31

shout

5:31

and I panic and I

5:33

shouldn't because you're funny, it's funny,

5:36

but I panic. Thanks.

5:37

The problem I have,

5:40

right?

5:40

I've talked about this before, I'm

5:42

a six foot eight man. The problem I have is

5:45

what can I say that doesn't

5:47

sound like a sexual innuendo

5:50

when talking about being big? Just

5:53

saying that sounds like a sexual innuendo. And

5:55

if

5:55

you raised this, I genuinely

5:58

hadn't really.

5:59

like how intense this is.

6:02

Everything I say sounds like I'm being toxic

6:05

when talking about height

6:07

or length, right? I can't

6:10

help it. But when you go on stage in

6:13

front of people and they go, oh, on you, Tom,

6:15

what do I say? You should see the size of my feet. No,

6:17

can't say that.

6:18

Can't say that. You can't say

6:20

that. And they say, and also, you don't

6:22

really want to. It's

6:23

awkward. You

6:25

should say the size of my socks. You

6:28

know what they say about men? Big feet.

6:32

What do I say?

6:33

I've

6:36

got to be honest. Aren't you at all? Yeah.

6:38

And I've got the girth. I can't say anything.

6:40

I can't say anything that

6:42

doesn't sound like a sexual

6:45

innuendo when referencing my height.

6:47

And I didn't realise how bad

6:49

this was until you highlighted this week.

6:51

And how many people say

6:53

to you, oh, aren't you tall? And you're always

6:56

like,

6:58

I can hear

6:59

it now. I can hear you panicking. Like what

7:01

do I

7:02

say? All I can do is just go, thanks.

7:06

Which sounds weird. Yeah.

7:09

But that's why I try and make a little

7:12

of an ironic joke about it. But I

7:14

don't want to sound like I'm good

7:16

looking. I'm good looking. But that's

7:19

me being... That's like up your own ass. He's being

7:21

ironic towards myself because I don't

7:23

think I'm good looking.

7:24

Yeah, but I don't think

7:26

people know that. People feel to see

7:28

you as this confident, tall man when really

7:32

you're just this like,

7:33

jokey boy. I don't know what to say. I don't know what

7:35

to say. Does anyone

7:36

have any, does anyone have any comeback? Because

7:38

the only thing I have is like, yeah,

7:40

my head's in the clouds. But he's not,

7:43

he's not... I can't think of anything

7:46

funny. Yeah, the weather's really cold

7:48

up here. Yeah, I sleep in

7:50

a grow bag. Like, I

7:54

don't know what to say. I don't know

7:56

what to say. I miss my basketball

7:59

friends.

7:59

It's just awkward. It's really tragic. So

8:05

I made a joke on stage instantly,

8:07

Rox was upset, but what I've got to say is

8:09

you don't get this intro. No I

8:12

don't. Now people don't go, whoa here

8:14

she is, look at how short and dumpy she

8:16

is. It's people's thing. And

8:18

I

8:19

did, Finley. And I go, yeah,

8:21

I'm funny too. Like, I get what you

8:23

say.

8:24

Right, so in today's

8:26

world, I don't think

8:29

there's anything you can point

8:31

out about a person when they

8:33

greet a stage or when you greet

8:36

somebody for the first time other than height.

8:39

Right? Yeah. So if you

8:41

walked up to me in the street or anybody

8:43

walks up to me, I wouldn't go flipping it.

8:46

You put on some weight or flipping it. You look short

8:48

or flipping it. You look skinny. Look

8:50

at your haircut. Yeah. You just wouldn't,

8:53

right? But you do it with tall people. But you do

8:55

it with tall people.

8:56

Is that because it's a positive though to

8:58

a lot of people? Is it people want to be tall, dark

9:01

and handsome?

9:01

Sure. But the thing, it's

9:03

positive to everyone else, but I mean, I'm okay.

9:06

But a lot of tall people feel self-conscious

9:08

about being tall. So imagine you being

9:11

self-conscious about something and the first

9:13

thing somebody says to you every single time is caught

9:16

and then pointing out the thing you're self-conscious about. My

9:19

goodness. I mean, I can't

9:21

think of another scenario in today's world where

9:23

that happens, where the minute you see somebody, you identify

9:26

that thing about them,

9:28

that visual thing. Yeah. Because

9:30

you saw what I said to me. Go

9:31

on. Rocks. Go

9:34

on. You're so at national average height. Like, you know what I mean?

9:36

No, but look at your nose. But everyone

9:39

just assumes that you're okay with being

9:41

tall. Exactly. And everyone assumes everyone's

9:43

being okay with tall. But

9:44

no, that's, oh my, oh, you've

9:46

just opened my brain to...

9:49

So I make a joke of it to try and, you

9:51

know, make a joke of it, but not be a

9:53

sexual joke. Well, I

9:54

take that back. Well done.

9:56

You did a great job at the podcast. Well, you did

9:58

embarrass me.

9:59

even though you sort of did, because it's

10:02

just,

10:02

yeah.

10:03

Although I feel like the

10:05

only place I can benefit from this

10:08

is a scenario I'm never gonna experience,

10:11

and that's a dating app.

10:14

Ha ha ha ha ha! Because I

10:16

feel like... Unless I die, but

10:19

you don't. Unless you die, I'll leave me. But

10:22

I feel like

10:23

everyone on dating apps, I mean, when

10:26

I used to be in an office environment,

10:28

working with lots of people, I remember all the women

10:30

in the office going, oh, the men on Tinder

10:33

were all short. But it was actually like, they

10:36

were sorting out, they wanted a tall

10:38

guy. And I'm probably above

10:40

the threshold they were looking for. But

10:43

it was a sought after thing on a dating app.

10:45

But yeah, so tall, dark, handsome on a dating

10:48

app, you're like, pfft. So that would be my bio. Tall,

10:50

dark, and handsome, one out of three ain't bad.

10:53

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! That

10:55

would be my bio. Oh, what handsome? Yeah,

10:58

that's it, of course, yeah. Of course

11:00

you haven't, I'm a player! Yeah, one

11:03

out of three ain't bad. And that's funny,

11:06

but descriptive. Yeah, what

11:08

would yours be? Oh, this is where I'd

11:10

fall down. You'd date your own bio? This is where I'd be

11:12

in the sin bin for all eternity. I'd

11:14

be swiped to the left and I'd be done.

11:17

I think yours, you

11:19

would be terrible at writing a bio. Yeah, but I'd be terrible,

11:20

because it'll probably be live, laugh,

11:23

laugh. I'd be... Ha ha

11:25

ha ha! And people would go... I like

11:27

chocolate,

11:28

I like

11:29

dancing.

11:31

And a good sound. And a good sound, positive

11:33

energy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! What?

11:36

Kiss, kiss.

11:38

That would be you. Positive?

11:40

Yeah.

11:41

Positive energy vibes. Ha

11:43

ha ha ha ha! Hot weed, even I'd pluck

11:46

on. Job on, right? No, swipe

11:48

away. I have a trouble with this. I saw

11:50

actually this week, there was a plush. Oh my

11:53

God, yes you did! Tell everyone what

11:55

you did this week. I was watching

11:57

telly and there was an advert for a plush.

12:00

50 dating apps.

12:01

I just turned

12:03

to Mark and went, oh can you believe

12:06

it love, I'll be on that in 10

12:07

years. And I went, why am I going to be dead?

12:10

Why are you going to be on a plus 50

12:13

dating app in 10 years? Where am I going to be? It wasn't

12:15

that, it was because I was referencing that

12:17

I'm going to be 50 in 10 years. Not

12:21

that I was going to be 50. But

12:23

by referencing that, he was killing me

12:26

off. Just

12:28

so you're aware of what that reference meant. It

12:30

made you laugh though didn't it? And actually,

12:33

we all know now that I wouldn't

12:35

get anywhere with that because my

12:37

bio would be so bad.

12:39

So what would it be?

12:40

It would have like, umm,

12:43

ugh,

12:45

if you had a good night out I'm here. But

12:47

then that sounds

12:48

sexual doesn't it? Oh

12:50

gosh, this is why I never did dating.

12:53

Wow, I mean, you'd get them. I'm

12:55

pathetic. You'd get some matches

12:57

with that sort of bio. Do you know what I mean? So

12:59

you remember when you dated me, our pathetic,

13:02

terrible at dating. Terrible. It's

13:05

an actual,

13:07

I can't even fathom that me and you ended up-

13:09

What sort of pictures would you choose? Would you

13:11

choose like a professional

13:13

looking one of you like in a suit? Yeah,

13:15

see I'd go good but then I'd go reality because

13:17

I wouldn't want to turn up and I'd go, I don't

13:19

know, you'd put on a bit, wouldn't you love? So

13:23

I wouldn't show me best. I'd

13:25

show off my turkey neck a bit or

13:28

a

13:28

few of the gins because I think,

13:30

gosh, I wouldn't really want to- And

13:32

I wouldn't want to lie about my height so

13:34

I'd have to get things like in perspective. I'd

13:37

like hold a can of Coke so they'd be able to see

13:39

the size of the can next to me. So

13:42

perfection wise they'd be able to get a gauge.

13:44

That's so weird

13:44

though seeing you just holding a can

13:46

of Coke. This is for size. You

13:49

know like you buy some on Ebay and they've got like a five- You're

13:51

a ruler. Yeah, they've put

13:53

like a five an extra in for context. I'd

13:56

do that and like, with my height,

13:58

of course, I think that's-

13:59

I feel like your bio would be really

14:02

really funny, I'd date you. But

14:04

mine, I'd be

14:06

tragic.

14:06

I think, yeah,

14:09

yours would be tragic, but I think yours should be.

14:12

You should lie. Why?

14:16

I'm just... I'm too much, aren't I?

14:18

I think you could lie

14:20

and it would work better for you. Yeah,

14:22

because I'm better in person than I am

14:24

on paper. Sure. On paper,

14:27

I'm a nightmare. Sure. But

14:29

in person. In person, you're

14:31

definitely not. I could absolutely

14:32

love Bonya and you'd

14:34

fall in love with me.

14:35

I think if your bio was something

14:37

like, love a local pub,

14:41

live for soccer Saturday.

14:45

I'd collect

14:47

gravy boats.

14:51

Not something to learn for men,

14:53

is.

14:53

Yeah, I think

14:55

you would... If you went for your bio,

14:57

which would be like, positive energy, dancing

15:00

Saturdays. You would put positive

15:03

energy, dancing queen, wine

15:08

time, right? That would be what you put.

15:10

And I think if you put... Mate, I'd date me. I

15:14

think if you actually put live for a

15:16

Toby Carvery, love

15:20

soccer Saturday up for a good time,

15:23

you would clean up. I would

15:25

nail... You would clean up. With

15:27

a picture of me in

15:29

a football environment crowd, like,

15:32

like, fit football

15:34

shirt. You've got to choose your football

15:36

team there, because you're going to put a lot of people off. England

15:39

shirt. England final,

15:41

got a great one in Unota. All

15:44

in one union jack I've got. Is that a

15:46

little bit too patriotic? No,

15:48

that's good. Shows you at front time, Frankie, doesn't it? I feel

15:51

like you should put this together for everyone. I

15:53

feel like you should do my bio.

15:56

And then do your own. So

15:58

you've got to have one with a pet as well.

15:59

well.

16:00

I've one with like a dog holding a dog.

16:03

Now just borrow one. Right?

16:06

Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.

16:09

Right. I think you've got to have showing

16:11

a caring side. Right. So one

16:14

that's fun in a football stadium.

16:15

Hug my kid or something. Like I've got a cot.

16:18

Yeah.

16:20

A cute one though. Right. Yeah.

16:22

Not when they're like, you know, being annoying. Get a cute

16:24

picture of the kids. Fluffy.

16:27

Yeah. Not show their face though. No,

16:29

no, no. Don't show their face. Then you've got to get a picture with an

16:31

animal to show that like you're caring. You got

16:33

to care. That

16:34

could be good. Shetland pony.

16:36

Funny comedy. I

16:38

feel like I should make my fire.

16:39

Let me help you write a puppy.

16:42

Go for a puppy. Everyone loves a puppy. A puppy. A puppy.

16:45

A puppy. A puppy. Go for a puppy. A

16:48

little cock a spaniel. Yeah. Don't get

16:50

your puppies out. Just hold

16:52

a little puppy. Okay. I'll

16:55

probably get more if I've got my puppy. I get a professional

16:57

side. Oh, right. So she's business. Business

17:00

woman. She's an icon. She's a legend.

17:02

She's an independent woman. Most

17:05

independent. Yeah.

17:07

That's what you've got to go for. You go for that.

17:09

You clean up. No.

17:10

Yeah.

17:12

I'm going to stick with the wine. The dog's

17:15

in the bag of wine.

17:16

Wine time. Good time. Wine. She

17:20

got it. I can't even write that.

17:22

I'll just do it in pictures. You have to write them.

17:29

I feel like this could

17:30

be a good challenge. Can't write bio. Look

17:32

at my pictures.

17:34

AI. AI

17:36

wrote this bio.

17:38

AI. Yes. A up

17:40

me duck. A up to AI. Well,

17:45

anyway. If you are on a dating app,

17:48

I'd love to know like what

17:51

goes into writing the perfect bio.

17:53

Has anyone got any tips? Has anyone come across any

17:55

doggie ones? Actually, if you've got

17:57

any tips that use like, you know, you've

18:00

cleaned up on day and apps with this bio.

18:02

Is there a perfect bio? Is there a perfect bio?

18:05

Tellers will show it on here, throw

18:08

the singles and ready to mingles, we'll

18:10

get them changing their bios to that and

18:12

we'll spread a bit of love.

18:13

I also feel like as

18:15

a couple, we should do a bio challenge

18:17

where

18:18

you have to do mine and I have to do yours

18:20

for a laugh. I feel like this will be an exchange

18:23

of hilariousness.

18:23

I mean, I'd love it, I'd love it. Well,

18:26

we need the help, we need help. If you know

18:28

the perfect bios, let us know. Ladbabypodcast.com

18:33

is where you gotta get in touch with the perfect

18:35

date night. Not date night, the

18:37

perfect bio

18:40

stories. Right, are you

18:42

ready Roxanne? I am. Yeah, am

18:44

I going for it straight away? I'm going

18:46

for it. Do you have a dilemma?

18:50

Do you need some help in life? A

18:53

dilemma, hey. Hey,

18:56

right, I've got a dilemma here.

18:58

A good one? Which I feel could ripple across the UK.

19:01

Oh, come on. Hi, welcome Rox,

19:03

please help me.

19:04

Capital letters. Oh

19:06

no, I've got all caps on. Before

19:08

I lose my mind, here's my

19:10

dilemma, all of that in capital letters. This

19:13

person is in trouble. Okay.

19:16

My partner and I have been together for 22 years

19:19

and we have two beautiful daughters.

19:21

Congratulations. Congratulations.

19:23

I feel like

19:25

you've still got to go down now, now. I've

19:27

congratulated too early. I want to leave

19:29

him. The darling is I want to leave him, I hate him.

19:32

We have had our ups and downs, just

19:34

like any other couple. Of course. But

19:36

there are some things that no matter how

19:38

many

19:38

times over the last 22

19:39

years, I've nagged, begged

19:42

and screamed at him to stop

19:44

leaving skid marks in the toilet

19:48

every time he goes for a number two.

19:50

Yeah. Yeah.

19:53

Okay. But get it, live him with boys.

19:55

I have shown him how to

19:58

use the toilet brush and clean.

19:59

But

20:00

no. Sorry, she's been trying for 22 years to

20:03

get him to do it. I'm still

20:04

the one who has had to clean

20:06

the skid marks off every time he

20:08

goes to the toilet.

20:10

Oh! Also, when he blows his nose,

20:13

he throws the snotty tissue across

20:15

the bedroom. Then when I wake

20:17

up, the snotty tissues are stuck to the wall.

20:20

No way! That's too much.

20:22

What does that mean, Nora? That's

20:23

too much. It sounds like a right nightmare.

20:25

That's too much. Sorry.

20:27

How do I get him to clean it up and clean up his ex?

20:30

Before I behead him. Hailey!

20:33

A woman on the edge! A

20:37

fellow sufferer.

20:38

Oh, Hailey. Hailey. Well,

20:41

what you should have done is not been down the south.

20:43

You don't get that from a midnose to a northern

20:45

man. Do you know what I mean? Nothing

20:47

but perfect. Honestly. I'm joking when

20:50

we are.

20:50

If I had to skip cleaning skid marks

20:52

for 22 years, is that going to be?

20:54

I mean, I'll be honest, it feels like it's gone too

20:56

long. 22 years. Is this a dilemma

20:58

that could be solved after 22 years, Roxanne?

21:00

Oh, the electric shock him. I'll be honest. What?

21:03

What? The toilet seat?

21:04

Yeah. Just add a little

21:07

electricity current to it when he sits

21:09

down having

21:09

a pose. He might not do it every time. He

21:11

might be having a sit down for number one. Do you know

21:13

what you want to get, Hailey? Get yourself

21:15

one of them lovely toilets. You know that cleans

21:18

your bum, splashes, does all that. You know,

21:20

you can get them from Japan and all that. You know

21:22

them fans?

21:23

Oh, like a fancy toilet that sprays

21:25

your bum and that.

21:26

You have that. Install

21:28

yourself your own bathroom and let him have

21:30

his little poo desk.

21:31

That's not a solution, Roxanne. I

21:33

know. That's not a dream. I know, but I can't

21:36

think.

21:36

Unless she's got toilet duck on tap, that

21:38

poor woman. But why should she be doing it, Roxanne? Yeah, why is she

21:40

cleaning up her own trash? Why is she doing that

21:42

for him? Because she's got

21:45

to use it. What men, I feel like

21:47

sometimes, us girls,

21:49

we have to sit on the

21:50

toilet every time. We can't stand and

21:52

weave from up.

21:54

We have to sit down every time. Please have a sit down

21:56

for number two, isn't it? Yeah, but still, we

21:58

can still stand and weave. You

22:00

know the ratio of a sit-down. So

22:02

what you haven't got you haven't got a solution here

22:04

Roxanne I feel like I've stumped you.

22:07

I'm in a rock and a hard place I

22:10

don't know what the solution to that is. I

22:12

don't even know if there's a cleaning product You could

22:14

line the toilet with

22:16

oh my we have got a dilemma on

22:18

our hands that Roxanne can't even

22:20

solve So she's just got

22:23

to live in this

22:24

skiddy

22:25

existence She's

22:28

got to live in this existence with

22:30

I want to save her. I want

22:32

to save the woman. Hailey is living her

22:34

nightmare, right?

22:35

Skidmark

22:36

Central what's not safe

22:38

for Hailey Mark? We need you as a

22:40

man. I mean you're not really

22:42

a

22:46

This is a tricky one for me I'm

22:48

gonna have to go Against

22:51

against the man here. I'm gonna have to go against

22:53

man code and help her out here Good,

22:55

but I'm gonna have to do it in the most vulgar

22:57

way. Oh, no No What

23:00

I'm gonna take inspiration from simply

23:04

another live laugh love episode

23:07

You've got to use his toothbrush to do it You've

23:13

got to teach him a lesson after 22

23:17

years if he is

23:19

not prepared to Wow listen

23:22

And if you truly are on the edge

23:25

on the bit on the edge of beheading your

23:27

husband No beheading should happen.

23:29

You have got to take drastic action.

23:32

I'll be honest Roxanne if I

23:34

was telling you something for 22 years I

23:36

mean and you hadn't

23:39

Stips

23:41

to address the balance

23:43

I mean, yeah You could switch his toilet but put

23:45

a bit of nut hell on it

23:47

and then tell him that thing Oh,

23:49

no, I clean just give marks off of that

23:51

cuz I've had enough and every time you do

23:53

it.

23:53

I will use your toothbrush I

23:55

thought it cost you a fortune every time

23:57

he does it use his toothbrush

24:00

clean the bowl and leave

24:02

his toothbrush in the toilet. So

24:05

when he walks in, he sees it in there and goes, what's in

24:07

there? And you go, well... This is structured. I don't

24:09

like it. I'm not saying he'll use it. He'll throw

24:11

it away. I think this is clever. He'll have to

24:13

buy another one. And every time he does it, you use his toothbrush,

24:16

you leave it in the bowl. You leave it in the toilet

24:18

bowl.

24:19

Wow.

24:20

There you go.

24:21

LAUGHTER

24:24

Just when I think I'm out,

24:25

you pull me back in, Matt. You,

24:28

my friend... I've gone against man code there.

24:30

You have. I've gone against it because...

24:32

Be fair. 22 years of Skid Row. That

24:34

poor woman. That poor woman. It's

24:37

a slippery slope, isn't it? So

24:41

I apologise for

24:43

the males out there. I apologise for going

24:45

against man code. But I feel like after 22

24:48

years, she needed my support. And

24:49

no one should have to, whether you're a man or

24:51

woman, clean up someone else's poo.

24:54

Unless you have a baby. Is

24:56

he a baby, though? Make him wear a nappy.

24:58

There you go. There's my solution.

25:00

Do you have a dilemma

25:02

that you want me and Rox to help

25:04

you with? Am I going to have to go against man code?

25:07

Let's see if we can get Rox to go against woman

25:10

code. Yeah, what for? I don't know.

25:12

Maybe there's a dilemma. I mean, I'll be honest,

25:15

most of the dilemmas seem to come

25:17

in with ladies

25:19

struggling with their men.

25:21

Yeah, where's the men at? Where's the men

25:23

at? It's because women are perfect.

25:26

Right. The

25:29

podcast email address is

25:31

ladbabypodcast at gmail.com. I

25:34

can assure you... I'm not perfect,

25:36

I'll tell you that. There is no perfection going

25:39

on.

25:39

But...

25:42

The next feature does have perfection. Ladies

25:46

and gentlemen, this is

25:49

your Date Night Diaries. Doo-doo-doo!

25:53

Yeah, date night! This

25:55

has perfection today.

25:56

Oh, really? Is it a nice

25:58

story?

25:59

one.

26:01

Oh, I was saying something, bedding

26:04

everyone if you're out walking, listen

26:06

up tight, put your earphones in.

26:08

Let's

26:08

go. This is my favourite one. Go

26:10

on.

26:11

Hi Roxamark, love, love,

26:13

love the podcast, it really brightens

26:16

my day listening to you both.

26:18

So, I

26:20

was listening to your podcast the other day on

26:22

the way to work whilst I was stuck

26:24

in a horrible traffic jam.

26:27

I was literally laughing out

26:29

loud in my car when I turned

26:32

and looked out of the window to see

26:34

the car in the next lane was

26:36

a gentleman also laughing his

26:38

head off. We

26:41

both stopped and looked at each other in our

26:43

cars for a second. He then opened

26:45

his window and gestured to me to do

26:47

the same.

26:50

He leaned out of his window

26:52

and asked what I was listening to.

26:54

I replied

26:55

the live, laugh, love podcast.

26:59

He then burst out laughing.

27:02

So, I put my window up and thought, flipping

27:05

idiot. And I edged my car

27:07

forward in the traffic to move away from him.

27:12

He then appeared next to

27:15

me again in his car and gestured for me to

27:17

put my window down. This

27:19

is when he apologized and said the reason

27:22

he laughed so hard was

27:24

he was also listening to the live,

27:26

laugh, love podcast.

27:28

No,

27:30

no, this isn't real.

27:31

We began chatting as we was

27:33

moving slowly in the traffic

27:36

before exchanging numbers.

27:38

Was he though or was he just

27:39

doing it to get? And now we are

27:42

about to go on our first date

27:45

this weekend.

27:47

I want

27:49

to say a massive thank you. You

27:51

are now matchmakers. Thank

27:54

you.

27:59

Is that real?

28:01

Was he lying? Yeah,

28:03

I mean... What did he just go, oh yeah, me too.

28:05

Mate.

28:06

I don't care. Fair play to him.

28:08

I don't care. Good boy. Good

28:11

move. If that's what he's doing... Go on, Gem. Gem!

28:14

Gem!

28:14

Gem! Gem!

28:17

Gem! Gem! Gem!

28:20

Gem! Gem!

28:22

Gem! We might have our first his last love

28:24

with him. If that is true, we're coming! I mean, I don't know where they're from,

28:26

Roxx.

28:26

I've escalated him. They could be anywhere in the world. We don't care. And

28:29

I applaud him for that. Gemma, if you

28:32

haven't gone on the date yet, you need to... Test

28:34

him. Test him. Oh, what? I

28:37

found actually... What's your favorite feature? Yeah, what's

28:39

your favorite feature? Did

28:41

you vote for a bit of a podcast or what? Of

28:44

a dumb beetle. I genuinely...

28:46

I get why you love that. That's so sweet, isn't it? Yeah, I love

28:48

a meat... That's called a meat cute. Do you know this?

28:50

No.

28:51

In films... Right. I

28:54

know this from... I think it's from... I think

28:56

it's from... I don't know. I

28:58

know this from...

28:59

I'm back in a day. Go on. The

29:01

holiday or one of the films. Right. There's

29:04

a point in a film that's called A Meat

29:06

Cute and it's when the two

29:09

characters that you want to fall in love

29:11

fall in love. The love interest collides.

29:13

Well, the love collides. Fine.

29:15

So, some man's in a supermarket

29:17

or a shopping center and he's looking for a

29:19

pajama top and then there's a

29:21

woman...

29:22

She's there looking for pajama bottoms. Through the pajama bottoms

29:24

and there's one set left. Fine.

29:27

Well, this is that moment. Yeah. This

29:30

is that moment because of our podcast.

29:32

Oh,

29:33

lovely. We want to know. Right. So,

29:36

you've escalated because it's on date night

29:38

diaries. I want to know now. Well,

29:40

I don't want it to become a confession

29:43

of a housekeeper. It

29:45

could be a one-line wonder. But I want

29:47

an update. Gemma, I'm

29:49

happy to devote next

29:52

week's date night diary to you again.

29:54

Gemma, is she from the south and

29:56

is from the north? I don't know. I

29:58

don't

29:58

know. But if Gemma... you're listening

30:00

if you go on the date this

30:03

week we need an update I will give you next week's date night diaries again if

30:06

you can give us a detailed let's do

30:08

a story weekly story with

30:10

Gemma and the car

30:13

no no no no yeah well let's

30:16

not put too much pressure on young love they've

30:18

just met

30:19

you know bad it'll be funny if

30:22

it don't work out she's probably gonna

30:23

have

30:25

a funny story

30:26

for well Gemma you

30:28

know the email address because you've already emailed in

30:31

I

30:31

hope you have a lovely

30:33

time

30:33

Gemma don't do anything I wouldn't

30:35

do you know I mean but let

30:38

us know the

30:40

podcast let us know on the podcast how

30:42

your date goes lad baby podcast at gmail.com

30:45

and if you have a date night story that you want

30:47

me and rocks to dissect

30:50

a little bit

30:52

love baby podcast at gmail.com

30:54

it's sweet in it yeah it's nice I like

30:57

things like that

30:59

I'm getting old I love that I love that

31:01

that happiness that people get

31:03

from that let's ruin that

31:14

here we

31:16

go the

31:17

section of the show that people

31:19

are begging they're begging us

31:22

to stop because we're ruining their

31:24

vacations on in hotel

31:26

well a few weeks ago

31:29

we opened it out so not only

31:31

confessions of a housekeeper but

31:33

to confessions of a lifetime

31:35

oh and tonight

31:39

we have got some options what's

31:41

that mean he's

31:44

not changing a formula is he what?

31:46

no go on what? I've got two

31:49

you can you can choose which

31:52

one we read out one

31:55

of them is an

31:58

awkward

31:59

awkward awkward, awkward, present

32:02

giving. Right. The

32:04

second one

32:06

is

32:08

about a foot fetish

32:11

admirer. Someone that's into foot fetishes.

32:14

What actually a foot fetish person?

32:17

Somebody with a foot fetish as emailed

32:19

in and somebody with one

32:21

of the most awkward presents of all time. Of

32:24

confessions of a lifetime. Which one

32:26

do you want? I

32:29

want to go with foot

32:32

fetish. Is that

32:34

a confession of a lifetime? I'll be honest,

32:36

I need to know what is fueling this foot fetish. So

32:41

we put the call out there on last week's episode.

32:44

If there was somebody out there with a foot fetish that

32:46

could give us some details around it,

32:48

could they get in touch?

32:50

We've had one emailing.

32:52

I'm excited. I want to know

32:55

the mind of someone who loves a foot.

32:58

I just got sent a picture of someone's toe

33:01

with a black toenail saying,

33:03

would you suck that? And

33:05

I'll be honest. Would you? No.

33:08

It was horrific. Strapping.

33:12

It's, it's, it's, yeah. What

33:15

this is? Hi, Mark and Rox. Your box face, by

33:17

the way, right now looks like you're about to be speaking no

33:19

matter. I was hoping she chose the other one. I

33:21

was hoping she chose the other one, but we can all

33:23

blame. Really? We can blame Rox. You

33:26

chose this. Fine. Rox,

33:29

love the podcast. Keep up the great work. You were

33:31

interested in hearing about why people like sucking

33:33

toes. Yeah. And while this may sound

33:36

pretty weird, I myself

33:38

have a strong fetish for

33:40

toe sucking and anything

33:43

else foot related.

33:45

Okay. Been honest.

33:47

Straight up.

33:48

Fair enough. I'm very open minded

33:50

for. So this is from a

33:53

young lady. Okay. It all started

33:56

when I was in uni. I went to

33:58

the pub one night with a couple of my. good mates

34:01

and we were enjoying some drinks until

34:03

a guy wearing a cowboy hat

34:05

and polka dot trousers walked

34:08

in to where we were sitting. I

34:11

mean it's a bold look but

34:13

it's working pretty peacocky as we learned last week.

34:16

It wasn't you Mark! It

34:19

wasn't me! He started

34:22

chatting to us and

34:24

eventually invited the three

34:26

of us to his flat down the road

34:28

to all hang out. So Mr. Cowboy

34:31

Hat has invited three

34:33

women back to his fort. Wow!

34:36

I mean, impressive. I'm

34:38

pretty sure we were all pretty drunk at

34:40

this point because we all got up, left

34:43

the pub and went with him without

34:45

hesitation or any idea what was going on.

34:48

This is

34:50

going to be alarm bells. As

34:54

soon as we got to his flat,

34:56

he showed us to his bedroom, told us

34:58

to sit on the end of his bed and said,

35:01

can I suck your toes?

35:04

What the actual?

35:06

Being drunk,

35:08

we

35:09

all started laughing

35:11

and said, yeah go on then.

35:14

I mean you would. I mean what a trippy

35:17

night! You've got a cowboy

35:19

and polka dot trousers wanting to suck his

35:22

toes. No!

35:24

With two of you mates. This is not real. It's a dream.

35:26

He

35:29

then proceeded to take our shoes

35:31

and socks off and suck every

35:34

single one of me and my mates

35:36

toes. All 30 toes

35:38

individually. We

35:42

were all giggling and found it

35:44

to be weirdly enjoyable. So

35:47

I told him to keep doing it. I

35:50

then asked if I could suck

35:52

one of his toes to

35:54

which he said yes. His

35:57

feet absolutely reeked.

36:00

And I fell in love with the

36:02

smell and taste of

36:05

smelly toes as I sucked

36:07

them harder and harder. This

36:10

was the moment my fetish for

36:12

toe stuck it sucking began. Look

36:15

how quiet rocks we've got. Mate, I'm just

36:18

trying to process.

36:19

So if you've got a toe fetish, well

36:21

I suppose there must be different forms of it. But

36:23

you're not even really into like

36:26

them being clean. Oh my goodness,

36:28

like sucking a block of cheese, isn't it? Since

36:31

then, I

36:32

will suck toes at any opportunity

36:35

I get. Wow. I've

36:38

even had some paid gigs,

36:41

if you will, where people

36:43

have paid me to go to theirs

36:46

and suck their toes. I

36:49

once had a request from a man who

36:51

was in his 70s and

36:54

lived in an

36:56

elderly home.

37:02

I pretended to be a friend visiting

37:04

him so I could go in

37:07

to suck his toes.

37:08

Wow.

37:11

What an end-day ass.

37:11

I mean, I began

37:14

sucking the 70 year old's toes. He

37:16

loved every bit of it and so did I,

37:19

even down to the crusty bits and

37:22

the rotting conals. I

37:26

mean, it's got bad, isn't it? It's got bad. This email's

37:28

got bad. But at least you

37:29

know what? She sounds a nation. She likes it. I

37:32

think he's honest. I'm

37:33

still good pals with the two girls who

37:35

went to the original cowboy chaps flat.

37:39

But they tell me how

37:41

extremely gross it was and

37:44

how weird it was whenever we bring it up. The

37:47

best part is, none of them know

37:49

that I actually now have a toe-sucking

37:51

fetish since that night. Wow. Not

37:54

unless they're listening to this podcast. I

37:56

reckon I could take a toe-sucking.

37:59

I don't think I could.

37:59

I could give one

38:02

does that make sense I reckon I could

38:03

sorry if I've grossed you out but I just

38:06

thought you might be interested lots of love

38:08

and her name's Emma from

38:11

Manchester she said you're welcome to

38:13

mention my name because I'm pretty sure if my

38:15

friends are listening they'll recognize the story anyway

38:18

so don't worry about mentioning my name

38:20

Emma for Manchester if you're

38:23

in the Chester area and

38:25

you feel like you want your toes sucking

38:28

ring Emma ring Emma Emma's

38:30

the so the toe sucker

38:32

of Manchester

38:33

mate you know what she could

38:35

probably make a killing if I

38:37

reckon that's quite a small

38:39

she's getting paid gigs

38:42

to go and suck old men's toes

38:44

and she's enjoying it and she enjoys

38:46

it she gets paid to do it

38:48

you know what somebody around if she

38:50

loves that I mean fair play

38:52

to him go on girls suck

38:54

a toe a day you know

38:57

what if that makes her happy and she makes

38:59

a couple of Bob's pay her bills

39:01

and she's not doing it illegally or whatever

39:03

I mean it's not even an illegal

39:04

thing how would it be

39:07

illegal

39:07

sorry officer I've

39:09

been unless it was like last week's yeah creeping into

39:11

someone's room and doing it while they slept can't do it without

39:14

can't do it without consent you can't suck a toe without

39:16

consent do you think

39:17

you could suck a toe or I

39:19

could take a toe sucking I reckon

39:21

that would actually sort of be like a bit

39:24

of a warm massage

39:24

really I feel like I couldn't suck

39:27

someone's I feel like somebody sucking

39:29

your toe would be like putting your toe into

39:31

like hot sand oh yeah yeah yeah

39:33

I mean I feel like that's

39:37

the sensation of what it would be I feel

39:40

like it'd probably tickle and be a bit of a weird sensation

39:43

the thought of sucking somebody else's toe what

39:47

is troubling yeah

39:50

unless you like

39:51

tickling your kids feet or like your

39:53

own kids

39:55

oh yeah you kiss the palm

39:57

like the soul of your kids feet

40:00

yeah when they're babies but

40:03

no I couldn't do a

40:04

clean foot do

40:05

you know I mean I think if it was like Margot

40:07

Robbie straight out of the shower I'd probably

40:10

suck a toe no but other

40:12

than that it ain't happening the fact that she's

40:14

doing this she's

40:16

enjoying the smell and the crustiness

40:18

of old toes

40:19

is

40:20

revolting well you know what

40:23

whatever brings her joy I

40:26

was trying to think of a

40:29

nice little life lesson else yeah so to

40:32

you I've got I was trying

40:34

to think

40:34

of a toe pun or a joke um

40:37

well you know what I want to say massive thank

40:39

you to Emma ever in Manchester that

40:41

is an incredible insight

40:43

in lighting in enlightening

40:45

us all Emma

40:46

because I I

40:47

didn't know I didn't

40:50

know what you found enjoyable but it seems all

40:52

of it it seems the crustiness the smell the

40:54

taste all of it is enjoyable I apologize

40:57

if anyone is listening to this podcast whilst eating

41:00

their breakfast but you know what if you've

41:02

also got

41:05

a pay do

41:05

you know what this is an educational section

41:08

of making it yeah if this is

41:10

an educational section of the show it's gonna help you all

41:12

when traveling to hotels and also

41:14

if you're sitting at home thinking you know my

41:17

big Tony needs a bit of a suck you know

41:19

you now know what you're looking for

41:22

well I feel I feel

41:24

like it's just it's not even weird to Emma

41:27

that's what she likes

41:27

I feel like I have got

41:29

a confession about toe sucking about

41:32

a housekeeper or anything else

41:35

in life that you would like to confess

41:37

to oh

41:42

that was rocks is request that you

41:45

can be

41:45

nothing sexual what

41:48

an ice cream

41:49

you should you know

41:52

you can be responsible for them stories

41:54

that's all I'm saying you're welcome lad

41:57

baby podcast at gmail.com

41:59

It's one

42:03

million people, the

42:06

whole story

42:08

in a sentence. I

42:10

feel laugh now, is that now?

42:12

Yeah.

42:13

Oh! One-line wonders, ladies and

42:15

gentlemen, this is the second of the show where people send us

42:17

in your one-liners to

42:19

try and make us laugh. I'll be honest, it's

42:22

always the funeral ones that make me laugh the most. The

42:25

funeral seems to be the theme. Yes,

42:27

because they're just so awkward, aren't they?

42:30

That's what we've got today from somebody called Alex.

42:33

So thank you, Alex, for your one-line wonder. It

42:35

is, I was recently at a funeral and

42:37

was really hungry, as I hadn't

42:40

eaten anything that morning

42:42

prior to the funeral. I

42:44

asked how long it would be until the food would open,

42:47

because I was so hungry I might die.

42:51

I said,

42:59

funeral, ask

43:02

him, when's the food going to be? I'm so hungry I might

43:04

die. Incorrect.

43:07

I mean, he had death on the brain. What

43:09

can you do about that?

43:11

Straight away I covered my mouth and said

43:13

I couldn't believe what I'd said and I apologized. All

43:15

the best, Alex. Do

43:16

you know what? There's a theme here. It's

43:19

always at funerals. It's always to do

43:21

with food. It's mainly food.

43:23

We've had cheesecakes, we've had funerals,

43:25

we've had everything. Action's in the mouth. It's

43:28

always at a funeral when you get caught out

43:30

saying

43:30

something. It's

43:33

the most

43:33

awkward thing, though, isn't it, at a funeral, because

43:36

you always never know what to say. You're

43:39

trying to be sensitive for hours. You're

43:41

trying to be sensitive for hours and hours and hours. Someone's

43:43

died. It's tragic. You

43:46

don't want to say the wrong thing,

43:48

but you still gotta wait.

43:52

You

43:55

might be parched. I mean, you might be. So

43:57

there you go. One line, wonders.

43:59

much Alex. If you've been to a funeral

44:01

this week and said something inappropriate

44:03

do email

44:04

him. We would love love love love

44:06

to hear how awkward your funeral attendance was.

44:09

Not yours in particular. Not yours unless

44:11

you do want to contact us from the other side. That

44:14

would be another part of the show. I'd love that. That's

44:16

a whole different show. That's a whole other

44:18

section. If I can get contacted from the dead

44:21

that will add that as a feature 100% lad baby podcast at gmail.com.

44:23

Living with a on your own inundated inundated

44:47

with last week. So last week we discussed

44:50

the I think it was I

44:52

thought it was a regional divide over the

44:55

term croggy or backy. Yeah.

44:57

So yeah the bike back. So this

44:59

is if you get on the back of somebody's bikes

45:02

if you're like sitting on the seat

45:04

while somebody else is pedaling.

45:06

What is that called. Now where I grew up in Nottingham that's

45:08

called a croggy. Someone I've never heard that before.

45:10

It was called a backy where I'm from.

45:12

I've had so many emails about this. What

45:15

backy or croggy about

45:17

backy and croggy. I think probably backy

45:20

probably edges it in terms of what most people

45:22

say backy. So my backy

45:24

yours. Yeah. Most people I mean I've got a lot

45:26

of croggy but in terms of I mean I've

45:29

hundreds of emails about this but I had

45:30

quite a few people sending me the encyclopedic

45:33

not exactly like a theosaurus saying

45:35

what a backy was.

45:36

Yeah. So I think backy probably

45:38

won it in terms of backy and croggy. Because

45:40

us southerners are the main

45:43

thing. There is so many different terms

45:45

for this. What? Right.

45:48

No. In America apparently

45:50

they call it a pump.

45:53

We've gone global baby. A pump?

45:56

So if you want to get on the back of somebody's bike

45:58

to go to the shop you go. Is this a pump?

45:59

I mean that means a whole different

46:02

thing here.

46:02

Can I have a pump? It sounds sexual. If

46:05

you said to somebody in the street

46:08

one day was on their bike, they're like, can I have a pump?

46:10

They get off and try and pump

46:12

you. Pumped you? Well,

46:16

it'd be a bit of a sexual. Come on in the street. If you

46:18

ran somebody random, you're like, oh mate, can I have a pump? I

46:20

reckon they'd probably punch you between the eyes. Yeah, they wouldn't

46:22

try and dry hump you. I mean, if

46:25

it was a friend, they might. I mean, but pump.

46:26

Yeah, pump or pumps

46:29

means you train us.

46:31

Yeah. I mean, maybe, but

46:33

yeah, I mean, can I have a pump? Right?

46:36

That's what I'm getting from America. Wow.

46:38

The most. It's actually gone worldwide.

46:40

Australia. No. Australia.

46:44

Well, they have something else. What?

46:45

Dink.

46:47

D-I-N-K. Dink. Dink.

46:50

A dink or a dinky. All right, mate, can I

46:52

have a dink to the... Jump to the shop.

46:54

And somebody's giving me a second. Jump on, mate. I'll

46:57

give you a dink.

46:58

A dink. It's quite cute, that.

47:00

I like that.

47:01

So it's a dink that a few people

47:03

have... A dink on me bike. A few people

47:05

have emailed in, so we've a dink, dinky, a

47:07

double dink. All these... Dink

47:10

is the main bit. It's a double dink. That's

47:13

three people on one bike. Maybe that's one on the front,

47:15

one on the back. Wow. I mean,

47:18

dink. That's a double backie, that

47:20

is.

47:20

It's not if someone's on the front. That's

47:22

a frontie, innit?

47:24

No, don't say that.

47:25

Somebody sit on the end of the bike. Watch somebody

47:27

sit on the end of the handlebars.

47:29

That'd be a frontie. That's a terrible midsection,

47:31

that. Well, we've had

47:34

pump, we've had dink.

47:36

Island. I've had somebody from Ireland

47:38

call it a crosser.

47:40

A crosser?

47:42

Yeah. C-R-O-S-S-E-R. From

47:44

Ireland. Yeah, crosser.

47:46

Crosser. Yeah.

47:47

North Wales, I'll call it

47:49

a CT. CT? Probably

47:52

the most accurate of all of them. Yeah,

47:54

you're right. Do you want a CT? Sit anywhere,

47:57

actually. Not just the CT. Yeah, just go. Do

47:59

you want a CT? feels the most

48:01

sensible of all of them, I'll be honest. I've made. From

48:03

Wales. What's that? The Welsh? Yes, the Welsh. Love

48:06

the Welsh. And we've had one of a

48:08

few in from Canada. Maybe we've all over.

48:10

Wow. It's a global thing we've had

48:12

in. Go

48:12

on, where from Canada?

48:13

I don't know where it was. It's just from Canada. Double.

48:17

Call it a double. A double. Jump on for a double.

48:20

Oh, it's again made sense. I like that one. Jump on for

48:22

a double. Come on, mate. Do you want a double?

48:24

Jump on. I'll give you a double. Double,

48:26

double. Come on.

48:27

You're

48:29

a little cockney up then. It sounds sexual

48:31

again, isn't it? Jump

48:31

on. Get on your bus. I'll give you a double.

48:33

I mean, that does sound dodgy, that

48:35

one. All right, mate. Do you want to jump on for a double?

48:38

But I think you can do it. A double? Do you want

48:40

to get on for a double? All right, mate. Do you want to jump on

48:42

for a dink? A

48:45

pop. Quick pump down the shop.

48:48

I didn't realize it was that.

48:51

Just that. I don't know. I didn't know

48:53

everyone said something different. Yes.

48:54

There's so many different words. Variety.

48:58

So many different variations of the same word.

49:01

Well, I never. Well, there you go. So

49:03

thank you. I mean, I don't have a resolution.

49:06

I don't know what one out of all of it. I'm

49:08

still going to say backy, but I might say double

49:10

backy, because I quite like that.

49:12

I might say a pump crocky.

49:15

Crocky pump. Do you want a little crocky pump?

49:19

But that was last week's. That

49:21

isn't this week's. This week's is Living with a

49:23

Southerner, OK? Oh. So

49:25

this week's word, roxanne. I'm

49:29

going to pronounce it out for you. Ron.

49:33

You're phonics, Mark, are

49:35

you? T. Task.

49:41

Task. M. A. T.

49:45

E. R. Master.

49:47

Mm. Task. Mask.

49:50

No. No. What?

49:53

Task master. Task master. Task

49:56

master. Task master. Task.

50:00

There's no R in

50:02

task. The first

50:04

word task. There's no R in task. Well

50:09

there is in my task. I

50:12

task you to say it properly. I give you a task.

50:15

Shut up. Task master.

50:17

That's

50:22

how you word it.

50:22

You say it so quick.

50:24

Task master? What

50:26

is appearing on task more than it's week? Why

50:30

are you talking high pitch?

50:31

I'm just task master.

50:35

Task.

50:39

It's just in my

50:40

facial expression.

50:42

How do you say? A-S-K.

50:46

A-S-K. Ask.

50:48

Ask. Ask. Ask. No,

50:51

I will say ask.

50:51

You would ask somebody for something.

50:53

May I ask you for a

50:55

crocket? May I ask

50:57

you for a crocket? May I ask you for a crocket?

51:00

May I ask you the nearest, the direction,

51:02

the nearest way to us please? Can

51:04

I ask you the right pronunciation?

51:07

So you wouldn't say ask?

51:07

Ask always. You ask a question.

51:10

I ask a question, yes. Can I ask

51:12

a question? Yes. You're

51:15

not asking a question. I never say ask. Oh

51:17

my, I can't cope.

51:19

I can't cope.

51:21

What?

51:22

You're wrong. You're wrong.

51:25

Okay? I'm bad if I'm arguing. He's

51:27

on the edge. You're wrong. You're

51:29

just wrong. I'm not wrong. I'm moving

51:31

on.

51:32

Name that badge. Ah, the hardest noise in the world. You're

51:34

wrong. I'm not wrong. I'm not wrong.

51:37

Right. I thought you just come to the end. I've

51:39

had enough of it. Right. I've had

51:41

enough today. Well we'll ask you in the morning. Yeah,

51:45

we'll ask you in the morning, won't we? Last

51:52

week, again, in a day, I've had, I counted

51:54

up about 350 emails I've had in. So

51:57

people weren't

51:57

actually getting this right. Am I?

51:59

this game. I think what we've learned, in one

52:02

episode what 24 today, I think what we've learned is

52:07

that the game isn't hard, Rock's just

52:09

terrible at the game. You're

52:11

just really bad at the game Rock's and

52:13

that is fantastic because I've had probably 300

52:17

plus emails as I say this week with the correct

52:19

answer. But

52:19

maybe I just hear the world differently.

52:21

I feel like that probably is my

52:24

life.

52:24

I do agree with you. Some

52:27

of the answers that were wrong that we've had in, somebody

52:30

saying rice

52:32

shaking, someone's shaking rice, that was wrong.

52:34

Somebody putting out a campfire with water,

52:37

that was wrong. Sand falling.

52:39

I put a packet

52:42

of rice. Somebody said a flare.

52:45

Oh

52:45

flare.

52:47

What

52:50

did you put Rock's? A

52:51

packet of rice.

52:54

Wrong.

52:56

But for the 300 plus

52:58

people.

52:59

How has 300 people got that?

53:02

Is that you emailing yourself 350 times? No!

53:06

That is the sound of

53:08

somebody striking a match.

53:12

In very close proximity.

53:16

These noise websites

53:18

are... That is the sound of a match and you can't

53:20

take it? Yes,

53:20

I can hear it now. I can

53:23

hear it now.

53:23

Yeah and that's the burning.

53:25

I wouldn't know. I never get a candle session.

53:27

Oh here we go. I never get time

53:29

to chill out. Oh here we go. I won't wait working.

53:33

Oh here we go. Pop pop the rose for here.

53:35

Oh

53:36

that was me bleeping

53:38

you in. I mean that was just bleeped yeah.

53:40

That'll do. That was last

53:42

week's sound. So this

53:44

week's sound. I mean that

53:45

sounds really obvious now.

53:47

Yeah I mean it was and lots of people

53:49

got it right. Right are you ready? Go on.

53:56

Good gosh. Oh,

54:02

he's

54:02

gone for an animal.

54:05

Is it a dog? Is it a pig? Is

54:08

it a hippo?

54:08

It goes on for a while, doesn't it? That

54:11

does.

54:12

That's a pig, isn't

54:14

it?

54:15

Sounds like a

54:16

very excited pig. Is

54:24

it a frisky pig run? Oh, a gorilla? Good

54:26

lord.

54:27

Is it a frisky pig? Oh my... is it a pig having

54:29

sex? That

54:34

sounds like a... that sounds... I'm

54:36

laughing. That

54:38

sounds like a mating pig. I'm

54:41

going with mating pig. What?

54:45

It's human nature. Mating

54:47

pig. She's

54:49

actually written down mating pig.

54:52

Either that or a mating gorilla, so

54:54

either way...

54:54

That's what you're going with. Yeah. Mating

54:57

pig. It's been written down. I'm

54:59

going for that, yeah. Piglets are on their way. Let me know.

55:02

Ladbabypodcast.com. I imagine lots

55:04

of you are going to get it right. Please

55:07

email in because it makes

55:09

my life knowing how many of you got it right and how many people

55:13

are better at this game than rocks. That

55:15

is the end. Oh, I'm sorry I've got

55:17

a yawn. We're

55:19

at the end of the episode. Thank you so

55:22

much for listening again and for joining

55:24

us for another week. We do have the most amazing

55:26

week. Oh, do

55:27

you know what? I love doing this

55:29

every week. Thank you for listening.

55:31

If you're going into... We're

55:33

in the first of October. I feel

55:36

like everyone should start to get their, you

55:38

know,

55:38

Halloween decorations out. Stop

55:40

encouraging it. Get the pumpkins out. Stop encouraging decorations.

55:43

Get the atmosphere going. Get

55:45

the wishy pat on. Do you know

55:47

what I made? No, I don't. All right, all

55:49

right. Oh, oh. Whoo-hoo-hoo.

55:53

Have a good week, everyone. Love you all. You guys

55:55

are the best. Love you all.

56:03

I'm a little weak and I'm not

56:05

gonna believe it

56:10

I'm a little weak and

56:13

I'm not gonna believe it Oh

56:16

yeah, I need

56:19

everything for these

56:22

people to believe it I

56:27

really need a high guy,

56:30

a high guy that wants to be

56:32

there I

56:35

need everything for these

56:38

people to believe it Oh yeah,

56:42

I need everything for these people to believe it I

56:45

need everything for these people

56:50

to believe it I've

56:54

been so easy to say oh

56:58

yeah I've

57:02

been so easy to say oh yeah I've

57:06

been so easy to say

57:09

Oh ahh I've

57:15

been so easy to say

57:18

oh yeah I've

57:25

been so easy to say

57:27

oh yeah I've

57:33

been so easy to say oh

57:37

yeah I've been

57:40

so easy

57:41

to say oh yeah you