0:06

I just can't believe this happened, Sasha. My

0:09

soulmate is that dickhead from the plane that

0:11

stole my bag. It's certainly an origin story

0:13

to remember. No, it's ridiculous. The algorithm must

0:15

have gotten something wrong. That's not how it

0:18

works, and you know it. I mean, maybe

0:20

the system had a bug, or the database

0:22

confused my profile with another clear M. Computers

0:25

can mess up. The

0:28

soulmate database has a staff

0:30

of thousands. We employ computer

0:32

scientists, data scientists, psychologists, researchers,

0:34

and more to ensure that

0:36

the system continues to function

0:38

optimally and continuously. We

0:40

have numerous fail safes in place at any

0:43

given time, and we are very careful to

0:45

not make mistakes. We

0:48

don't make mistakes. I

0:50

think they've got this thing down to a science. Do they?

0:53

I mean, listen to this guy's profile. Bennet

0:55

C. Born in Shomburg,

0:58

Illinois. Ew, nothing good

1:00

ever happened in Shomburg. Only

1:02

child. Parents divorced

1:04

when he was four and his mother

1:07

remarried and bore two half-siblings. Oh my

1:09

god, he comes from a broken home.

1:11

Jesus, Claire. But like, okay, look. It

1:14

says he's really into rock climbing. That's

1:17

the most annoying hobby next to pickleball. Or

1:19

it could mean that he's really fit and

1:21

has a rockin' bod. You

1:23

sat next to him on the plane for two hours. Is

1:26

he cute? I don't know. His

1:28

appearance was disguised by his asshole, Ree. Oh,

1:30

come on. Let's see if we can find his picture. The

1:33

decision not to include photos on the

1:35

database was a deliberate one. Our

1:37

research showed that snap judgments based

1:40

on images can significantly influence ensuing

1:42

interactions and too many early trials

1:44

went awry. A subsequent

1:46

study found that the absence of

1:48

photos in our database led to

1:51

an increase of intercultural and intersocioeconomic

1:53

coupling. That said, we

1:55

are aware that it has become increasingly

1:57

easy to find photographs of any individual.

2:00

on the internet. We leave this

2:02

up to the discretion of each participant. Okay,

2:05

here's the psychology today profile. I

2:08

don't know, he looks pretty cute here. Sure,

2:10

if you like total nerds. There's some kind

2:12

of spark in his eye, you can see

2:14

that. You're making that up. Nana.

2:17

Oh, come here Bubba. Dinner's almost ready.

2:20

What are you making for him? Oh, he eats

2:22

whatever we eat. He's really not picky. And

2:25

he looses veggies, don't you little man? Wow,

2:28

that smile looks just like Tony's. Doesn't

2:30

it? Sasha M. was

2:32

matched with Antonio P. four years ago.

2:34

They married after a ten month courtship,

2:37

about average for their demographic. Their now

2:39

joint file reports one son born two

2:41

years after their marriage. Yeah, you looked

2:44

out. Remember when you called

2:46

me? Tony's exactly what I

2:48

got in that. What I got in

2:50

that. Oh,

2:53

I found that paper, you know, it was in one of my

2:55

old journals. Let's see, what did it say? House

2:59

veterinarian, a million

3:02

dollars, married at twenty

3:04

seven, two kids. I'm

3:06

still working on that million dollars. And the second

3:08

kid? Um, eventually. But

3:13

when I got matched with Tony, it really felt

3:15

like it was something faded. You're a great guy,

3:17

Sasha. You really

3:19

won the lottery. Not

3:21

the lottery. It was the algorithm.

3:28

Claire, can you pull the salmon out of the broiler? I'm going

3:30

to put this little guy in his high chair and then we

3:32

can eat. Smile. Tony

3:36

likes to see photos

3:39

when he's working the night shift. He's

3:41

always worried he's missing out. Wow,

3:45

that kid really loves the green stuff. That

3:47

is sauteed chard. I've

3:50

literally never heard of chard. Oh, come

3:52

on. It's like kale. Yuck. It's

3:55

good for you. That's never been my taste.

4:00

previous partners spanning her sexually active

4:02

years. Fifteen of them

4:04

did not garner a repeat encounter. This

4:06

is fairly typical, particularly in the era

4:08

of the algorithm. So I never

4:11

did get the full story about what happened

4:13

at your job. I really teed that one

4:15

up for you, didn't I? You

4:17

must have a lot to process. Of

4:20

the eight remaining potential partners, Four

4:22

called her unpredictable. Three

4:24

reported her as unmotivated, and all

4:26

eight described Claire as having poor

4:28

communication skills. One reported

4:31

that Claire was not wife material. Your

4:34

son is getting charred all over your

4:36

perfect clothes. Maybe you should process that

4:38

first. Toddlers do that. I'll

4:40

wipe it up later. You're deflecting. Well, maybe

4:42

I don't want to talk about it. Well,

4:44

maybe you need to talk about it. I

4:47

can keep doing this all weekend. It's

4:50

just... It was stupid. I'm

4:53

sure it's not. I

4:55

was impulsive and stupid, and I

4:57

liked him too much, and then I lost my job,

4:59

and that's the whole story. My

5:02

taste is self-destructive.

5:05

And it's all in my file now. I can't

5:07

believe I let that happen. There

5:10

was much discussion around whether to include

5:12

past romantic and sexual relationships in the

5:14

database. Ultimately, it seemed most

5:16

prudent for soulmates to be given advanced

5:19

knowledge of their match's history. We

5:21

have discovered that listing all indiscretions

5:23

has the incidental effect of calming

5:26

people's anxieties about past lovers or

5:28

unfortunate trysts. It sets a

5:30

standard of forgiveness for oneself and for others.

5:33

A soulmate will always come through. Did

5:36

you love him? Your boss? God

5:38

no. I mean, not

5:41

really, but I liked him. It

5:44

was fun and sexy, and the sneaking

5:47

around the office kind of made the whole

5:49

thing feel even more... I

5:52

mean, I felt like I was important. You are?

5:55

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know what I mean. It

5:57

felt good to have a secret, you

5:59

know? like every

6:01

time I got called into the pitch meeting and it was

6:03

like our eyes would catch for a second and then we'd...

6:06

doesn't

6:08

matter. It matters if you got

6:10

hurt. I let myself get hurt. He

6:12

was very clear that it was just meant to be

6:15

casual. What else could it have been

6:17

anyways when we all know that if we had been

6:19

a match the algorithm would have done it already. And

6:22

I mean when he was done... Ugh. He's

6:26

probably right. I'm nobody's

6:28

wife material. Oh, Claire.

6:31

But firing me was just like... He

6:35

didn't even give me a warning. We

6:37

got some vague company-wide

6:39

email about registering in-office

6:41

relationships and a threat that

6:44

failure to do so was an immediately a

6:46

fireable offense and then like an

6:48

hour before I was supposed to present a design

6:50

to our clients I got blocked out of my

6:52

emails and my pitch deck and my keycard even

6:54

stopped working. I had to

6:57

ask someone for access to help to get the things out

6:59

of my desk. Did

7:01

he reach out or...? Not

7:03

a word since. I

7:06

mean, I bet my drunk, crying voicemail in

7:08

the office line didn't help. Honestly,

7:11

do you think if I dye my hair

7:13

and I get a new job as like a tax

7:16

collector I'll be able to make my file

7:18

more attractive? You're overthinking this.

7:21

Your file is supposed to show who you really

7:23

are and your soulmate is supposed to love you.

7:26

In spite of it all? No,

7:28

including it all. Fat chance with

7:30

data like mine. Sorry,

7:32

he's probably just sleepy. No

7:35

worries. He's got my mood spot on.

7:38

Oh, are you a little stinky butt? Oh,

7:41

yes you are. Let

7:43

me change him and put him down and then we can get back to you. No

7:46

worries. Do what you need to do. Chard.

7:51

God, I can't believe this kid can stomach this.

7:55

We encourage users to... reach

8:00

out to their match within a 48 hour

8:02

window of their parry notification. I

8:04

haven't even told you the worst part yet. Bennett's

8:07

been dating the same woman since

8:09

he was in high school. That's

8:12

psychopathic. Maybe he was just

8:14

sticking with someone he was comfortable with until he

8:16

matched with his soulmate. I mean, it's

8:19

a little odd, but I have heard of people

8:21

making pacts like that. Okay, but it's even weirder

8:23

than that because he said on the plane that

8:25

he doesn't believe in the database or soulmate match

8:27

or anything like that. Seriously? Yeah.

8:31

My soulmate is a freak who rejects society and

8:33

was probably just left heartbroken by his fiance. Does

8:36

it say he was engaged? I mean, his file

8:38

says that they broke up like days ago, but

8:41

I found an engagement ring in his

8:43

bag. He went through his bag?

8:46

Who cares? I'm literally doomed. This

8:48

is the worst match they've ever

8:51

made. Like why would

8:53

he have a ring otherwise? I

8:56

bet she dumped him. And

8:59

that's why he was so pissy on the flight.

9:02

Well, you have the perfect opening

9:04

line. What are you talking about? You

9:06

have his luggage. He has yours. At the very

9:08

least, you have to get the bag back. What

9:11

would I even say? Of

9:13

course, the prospect of first contact with

9:15

one soulmate is nerve wracking. Hey.

9:18

Here's his email. No, you're not going

9:20

to send him an email. That's like

9:22

so- Dear Bennett. Oh, come on. You're

9:24

not furious. Claire, what do you have

9:26

to lose? Maybe a lifetime of

9:28

happiness and partnership. And at this rate, everything

9:31

you packed in your carry-on. This

9:33

is your soulmate. Okay, maybe I'll

9:35

pawn the engagement ring and buy new clothes. Write

9:38

him an email or I'll do it for you. And I

9:40

promise you won't like my version. Hey,

9:43

Bennett. Or,

9:47

dear Bennett. Oh

9:50

wait, does dear sound too formal or

9:52

too close? The later it gets, the

9:54

weirder it is to send this message.

9:56

Okay, maybe I just say Bennett. No

9:58

starting phrase. Who emails hello

10:01

anyways? Well, would you rather call him?

10:03

Have you actually lost your mind? What

10:05

self-respecting Gen Z calls people? You're not

10:07

that young. Claire,

10:09

I'm tired. Send something so I can go

10:11

to bed. His profile did say

10:13

something about being a morning person. Even better.

10:16

He won't see it till then, and we

10:18

can both get some sleep. Maybe if he's

10:20

never really even seen my file, I can

10:22

invent a whole new character. No. I

10:25

know it feels scary, but the algorithm put

10:28

you two together for a reason. You need

10:30

to be yourself or it won't work. Be

10:33

myself? OK, how's

10:35

this? Hey, asshole.

10:38

You stole your soulmate's bag. I'm

10:41

getting earlier today. When

10:44

are you going to get it? You

10:47

are so difficult. Give it to me. No, I don't

10:49

want the first thing I say to him to be

10:51

your- You're killing me here. Give me, come on. Give

10:53

it to me. Come on. Hm?

10:57

You did not. Me? You

11:00

did that. You wrote it. But

11:02

I didn't mean to send it. Now this

11:04

is an origin story. Oh my

11:06

god, I'm such a piece of shit. At every

11:09

turn, I ruined my own life. I

11:11

can't even get my scientifically chosen soulmate

11:13

right. Maybe he'll have a sense of

11:15

humor. No, I doubt that very much based on

11:17

our interactions on the plane. Well, these

11:20

things have a way of working out their science.

11:22

I'm literally going to throw myself off the Brooklyn

11:24

Bridge. Please don't. I bought way too

11:27

many bagels not to share them with

11:29

someone. Serve them at my funeral. While

11:31

first contact is often cited as the

11:33

most high stress aspect of the matching

11:35

process, we believe it allows

11:37

for users to add a personal touch

11:39

to an otherwise fairly clinical process. Go

11:42

to bed, Claire. It's been a crazy day. I'm

11:44

sure you'll laugh about this in the morning. You'll

11:46

both laugh about it for the rest of your

11:48

lives. Do yourself a favor and go

11:50

to bed, OK? Moreover,

11:52

our system has taken potential first

11:54

impressions into account. Humans are

11:56

more forgiving than most like to believe. Oh,

12:03

you've got to be kidding

12:06

me. Dear

12:12

Claire. Of course he went with dear.

12:14

He's being polite. First and foremost,

12:16

let me apologize for my behavior

12:18

on the airplane earlier today. I

12:20

was unnecessarily cold. And of

12:23

course I did steal your bag. Accidentally,

12:25

I can assure you, but theft nonetheless.

12:27

So I can understand why you would

12:29

address me as asshole, given that first

12:31

impression. While most introductory messages

12:34

are careful in tone, the algorithm

12:36

is designed to produce soulmate pairings

12:38

well-suited to one another's communication styles.

12:41

Let me also express my surprise at hearing that

12:43

we have been matched by the National Soulmate Database.

12:46

As a conscientious objector I abstain from

12:48

reading any correspondence sent by the agency,

12:51

I prefer to get to know a person on their

12:53

own terms. I have often wondered if

12:56

a day like this would come, but

12:58

I can't say I anticipated a

13:00

message quite like yours. Yeah, I

13:02

admit. Even still, to at the very

13:04

least offer my apology and to exchange our baggage,

13:07

I was wondering if I could take you to dinner

13:09

tomorrow evening. I hope this isn't too forward, but I'm

13:11

sure you are eager to get your belongings back, as

13:13

am I, and I don't know how long you intend

13:15

to stay in New York. Please

13:18

let me know, and feel free to call me at

13:20

my number below my signature. Warmly

13:22

Bennett. Of course he

13:24

wants me to call him. Was he

13:26

literally designed to make me miserable? Complaints

13:29

can be filed with the National Soulmate Database

13:31

case managers, but over 99% of these complaints

13:34

are settled between the matched parties

13:36

and without departmental intervention. And

13:39

seriously, who doesn't check the database? A

13:41

conscientious objector? This isn't

13:44

a war, bro. Claire, He

13:46

seems really nice and just wants to get

13:49

dinner with you to apologize. No, he wants

13:51

his bag back. And If he had read

13:53

my file, there's no way he would have

13:55

asked me to dinner. Case Managers, like myself,

13:57

are assigned to merely a few dozen individuals

13:59

whose... The trial we follow from

14:01

their eighteenth birthday until the successful execution

14:03

of their minutes. We'll. Deal.

14:07

And it welcome to the Twenty first

14:09

century. We're always here to make sure

14:11

that the process runs smoothly and to

14:14

offer a more intimate perspective on each

14:16

profile. A personal thoughts: I'm surprised you

14:18

responded given that I who did read

14:20

your file like a sane person who

14:23

you're not a night person but I

14:25

do want laid back back in you

14:27

probably want that stuff doggy bag no

14:29

offense that is. you're so worried about

14:32

his impression of you, you're not exactly

14:34

putting your best foot forward. Some complained.

14:36

That the algorithm takes away the possibility

14:38

of spontaneity. But humans are a spontaneous

14:41

species. They will always find a way

14:43

to keep each other on their toes.

14:45

Way am. I prefer to get

14:47

to know a person on their own terms. Well.

14:54

I then it is into the Twenty first century.

14:57

The has it's ups and downs. I

14:59

suppose at the very least I would. Like my

15:01

bad back. but dinner seem

15:03

that long? eighty lunch or

15:05

coffee. And seen it my

15:07

cousins in Brooklyn. so I can get anywhere off

15:09

the as. It has

15:11

been named player. For

15:16

their that was great and

15:18

very reasonable message. Very

15:21

unlike you. Oh God

15:23

oh of said I. Phone

15:26

Claire aka others are you

15:28

will have. Eichler

15:32

erm. Hi I'm if

15:34

you didn't read my profile, how did you get

15:36

my. Number. It

15:38

was in your email signature. Oh

15:40

right, yeah. Well,

15:43

Pearl Harbor. Or

15:46

yeah, I just thought I'd give you a call

15:48

rather than keep emailing. It's so much easier to

15:50

to topple the phone. Yeah, total way. But

15:53

I actually have a plan from a day tomorrow

15:55

so that conflicts with during lunch or don't overwhelm

15:57

you with getting dinner or to overstep were like

15:59

any of. No, it's fine, I just really

16:01

want to get my bag back. Know I

16:03

know of course and I'm and I'm

16:06

happy to do that at your convenience

16:08

but I would like the chance to

16:10

at the very least say thank you

16:12

for finding me to facilitate the traded

16:14

no matter our her shocking the method

16:16

what's you conflict who of for lunch

16:19

i ma non a leading of like

16:21

loss of my climbing gym to when

16:23

when they that. Korea

16:25

said they would be hard for me to

16:28

find a cover, and it's part series is

16:30

fine: "I honestly have lunch and to just

16:32

remembered" Taking my cousins kid to an accident

16:34

at the park. The museums are you? Talking

16:36

about as a the kids exhibit up know it's

16:38

just like a regular doug. You'll are like

16:41

adult exhibit. He's. Under to

16:43

so he really doesn't register anything anyway. But

16:45

you know you're never too young for culture.

16:47

Are you spending? That's great. There are some

16:50

excellent studies about the benefit of access

16:52

to art from an early age own yeah,

16:54

I mean was totally so important. That

16:57

I guess we're going to have to

16:59

do dinner then. Okay, great did you

17:01

get the Crown Heights? Or

17:04

or well I just don't live here.

17:06

but it's are like a small bites

17:08

concept of answer for nights. That's fine.

17:12

But say, Six Pm. Getting

17:15

the groom, Been

17:17

I. Salute! A perfectly

17:20

normal time to meet for dinner. A

17:25

pm that it's a day. It's

17:28

an exchange. Don't push

17:30

it. To

17:32

see us as an exchange Our

17:34

see their. And.

17:38

Thanks. Again for reaching out. Serve.

17:41

See. Tomorrow. Don't. Forget my

17:43

bag.