There’s a level of control that occurs in relatively few marriages that we would see as part of an abusive power and control dynamic. But then there’s a lower level of control that doesn’t come from an abusive spouse that can still be frustrati

Defining Emotionally Abusive Behavior

Jun 24th, 2020 31m 44s

This is a subject we’ve wanted to address for some time. We see some irony in the work we do with couples or individuals when it comes to abuse. Often, though not always, people who are in a relationship with a truly abusive person do not reali

How Do I Know When/If I Can Trust My Spouse After Betrayal?

Jun 10th, 2020 36m 35s

How do I know if I can trust my spouse again? This question represents one of the most profound dilemmas a betrayed spouse will struggle with as they journey towards healing after a significant betrayal. How do I know I’m not going to get hurt

The 5 Pillars of Attachment

May 27th, 2020 41m 23s

We talked a lot about the 4 predominant styles of attachment in episodes 251 to 254. Attachment is basically the science of love, and in the marriage counseling world, it’s one of the core issues that we’re interested in working on when we are

What Causes Infidelity?

May 13th, 2020 25m 48s

Today we are going to take a compassionate and sensitive look at the “why” of infidelity. We believe that infidelity is a choice, and, from our own moral perspective, it is wrong, but at the same time when it comes to making sense of infidelity

How To Balance Parenting and Marriage (Even During a Pandemic)

Apr 22nd, 2020 20m 31s

Did you know that the research shows that marriage takes a hit when you have kids? One author reported in 2005 that an analysis of 90 different research studies showed the drop in marital satisfaction is a shocking 42% larger among the current

How to Confront Your Husband About His Pornography Addiction

Apr 8th, 2020 24m 44s

Reasonably often, we get inquiries from a wife whose husband is addicted to pornography and he won’t do anything about it. In this article we want to help you prepare for that first serious confrontation where you have a very deliberate convers

Coronavirus and Your Marriage

Apr 1st, 2020 20m 59s

Well, we live in unprecedented times as many of us are adjusting to a global crisis. We are recording this episode in the middle of the 2020 Coronavirus pandemic, with some of our listeners in cities in full lock-down and others nervously await

Key Things to Include When Disclosing Infidelity

Mar 25th, 2020 27m 22s

While the disclosure of infidelity is never going to be a happy experience for either the betrayer or the betrayed spouse, you need to know that there are helpful and unhelpful ways to go about it. And the unhelpful ways can make a difficult ex

6 Porn Groups To Help Your Recovery

Mar 18th, 2020 27m 13s

If you are trying to break a pornography addiction, one of the best things you can do is to find a group that you can join in addition to doing individual counselling. Fortunately, there are a number of great options out there to choose from de

Responding to The Rage of Your Betrayed Spouse

Mar 11th, 2020 25m 28s

If you have betrayed your spouse and disclosed that betrayal to them, one thing you will have become very aware of is the rage that betrayal can cause. In our experience in working with couples, many people who are working through their own inf

How Self-Compassion Can Help Your Marriage

Mar 4th, 2020 21m 25s

Compassion is probably something that you find harder to provide for yourself than for others. However, did you know that self-compassion can help your marriage? Yes, we often talk about what you could and should give to your spouse in marriage

4 Key Things to Avoid When Disclosing Infidelity

Feb 26th, 2020 28m 7s

The thought of disclosing an affair to your spouse can be quite terrifying. You know that it is going to cause a lot of distress, perhaps even profound distress, and you also know that you do not really have control over the outcome of your dis

Overwhelmed or Flooded? Here’s How To Calm Down During Conflict

Feb 19th, 2020 20m 59s

If you ever find yourself feeling overwhelmed during conflict, then this article is for you. We describe the psychological experience of flooding: when you white out or shut down or get hijacked by your own emotions. Usually, this happens durin

Navigating Opposite-Gender Relationships When You are Married

Feb 12th, 2020 31m 4s

If you are married, it’s more than likely that you’ve had a discussion with your spouse at some point about a friendship between one of you and someone outside your marriage. So, what about those opposite-sex friendships? Are they healthy or ar

Why You Might Be Experiencing Pain During Sex (for Husbands)

Feb 5th, 2020 20m 7s

Four episodes back we addressed the topic of pain during sex for women and that show received a lot of downloads. Today we return to the topic but this time for men. Sexual issues like this can be difficult to figure out and often people just d

Impact of Your Porn Use on Your Wife

Jan 29th, 2020 20m 15s

The purpose of today’s episode is simply to act as an eye-opener. In our online counseling agency, we help a lot of men break their pornography addiction. One common theme is that many of them are surprised by how devastated their wife is by th

When Family Visits Are Traumatic

Jan 22nd, 2020 22m 7s

What do you do when you’re going to see family for the holidays or on a vacation and you know that not everybody is in that healthy place where they’re going to be able to show you, your spouse and kids respect and care? So many of our listene

Is Your Spouse Taking You For Granted?

Jan 15th, 2020 33m 11s

Is your spouse taking you for granted? Well, you may be expecting us to pick on that nasty spouse of yours: but as we often point out, the only person you can change is yourself. Today we’re going to look at how a people pleasing personality or

Why You May Be Experiencing Pain During Sex (for Wives)

Jan 8th, 2020 22m 46s

If you experience pain during sex, you are certainly not alone. Pain during sex is called dyspareunia, and research shows that about 7% of women experience pain it.[1] Of those 7%, about one-quarter of them reported that the pain had been occur

Betrayed By Your Wife? 5 Things You Need to Do

Jan 1st, 2020 26m 37s

Back in episode 209, we did a show on the five things you need to know if you’ve been betrayed by your husband. Today we want to look at the experience of a husband who has been betrayed. Men and women both experience betrayal, but have differe

Why You Need To Touch Your Spouse More

Dec 18th, 2019 22m 31s

Physical touch is an important way to keep the emotions of love alive in your marriage. It is one of the first senses we develop as humans and is a primary component of intimacy in adult romance. Unfortunately, it’s something we can forget abou

How Retirement Affects Marriage

Dec 11th, 2019 22m 43s

Transitioning from full-time employment into retirement is naturally going to impact both your life and your marriage. Retirement comes with lots of changes, and there are ups and downs to the process. Whether you have parents going through thi

Exploring the Links Between Attachment Style and Porn or Sex Addiction

Nov 27th, 2019 24m 57s

When you’re working through recovery from something like porn or sex addiction, depending on how deeply rooted that addiction is, it forces you to confront a number of different dynamics in all aspects of your life. Many people who do this diff

Why You Really Need to Consider Emotional Labour in Your Marriage

Nov 13th, 2019 26m 4s

Emotional labour is a significant part of a couple’s relationship. Emotional labour was first coined by the sociologist Arlie Hochschild in her book, The Managed Heart (1983)[1]. She defined it as the work of managing your own emotions, but the