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for our listeners at helix sleep dot

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com slash trash Tuesday. Hi,

1:41

you guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I

1:44

know I did. I just wanna let you know

1:46

I'm doing standup. I'm coming to

1:48

Phoenix, San Francisco, Seattle, and Portland.

1:50

You can get tickets at ironics dot com and

1:52

my solo podcast. My drops

1:54

every Thursday morning. Can't wait

1:56

for you guys to see what it's

1:58

like. You guys, the time is

2:00

here. My favorite most exciting date,

2:04

Caluso Casino,

2:06

come, gamble and party with me. You know,

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I love to gamble. That is on September

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thirtieth, one night only. Then next month,

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2:15

and then I'm gonna hold a bunch of other places.

2:17

Go to annie letterman dot com slash s.

2:23

You guys, we are very excited to

2:26

finally have this guest on our show. She is

2:28

from one of our favorite alcoholic

2:30

sister podcasts girls. Gotta eat. Welcome,

2:32

Ashley Hesselstein. Did I say

2:34

your last name right? It's Hesselstein, but

2:36

Hesseltine. And

2:38

the time of it all is very

2:39

-- Yeah.

2:40

Like, talent. You can relate Lederman letterman.

2:42

I know and I'm such a natural leader that people always

2:44

think it's letterman, but it's letterman. And

2:46

then your last name is a

2:48

knight. There. I don't know. I was gonna just I was gonna

2:50

it's a night. I don't know why I thought that would be

2:51

I don't think anyone in this room has gotten my last name right,

2:54

not once.

2:55

Oh, thank you, Carlo. Oh,

2:56

it's so disgusting.

2:57

Wait. I didn't even know that. I don't want it to be. I

2:59

don't think anyone else does it. It's

3:01

cute, not cute. Yeah. It's cute. I

3:03

guess,

3:03

racial slur as a I

3:04

know you said way less racist. I

3:07

don't know. Is it racist if you

3:09

don't even know it's a fucking slur? Who

3:11

is it against raccoons?

3:13

No. Don't need a customer. Are

3:16

we gonna start doing the origin story of slurs

3:18

first? But that's actually not about it. That's

3:20

maybe Patreon.

3:22

Hey, Will. But Ashley, welcome --

3:25

Thank you. -- to trash Tuesday, where we're

3:27

excited to have you and be here. Thank

3:29

you. I was listening to your show and

3:31

I so you're, like, a reader. You're,

3:34

like, a reader. I'm I am yeah.

3:37

I'm great at reading and I read a lot.

3:39

That's word to say. You obviously don't watch the

3:41

show. That's so mean. You'll be like, I'm a great reader.

3:43

Are you guys are you all a bad

3:45

reader? I'm literally unable to read

3:46

I can't predict that. That reads are pretty

3:49

difficult.

3:50

Well, my co's does not like, we

3:52

had this joke that one time she read something

3:54

so good and I genuinely said, right

3:56

now, great job reading and, like, our

3:58

audience loved it and they started saying, like, great

4:01

job reading.

4:02

Like, she we it's it's a thing. She isn't

4:05

open about it. Like, I'm I'm

4:07

an exceptional reader. I'm so sorry if this is

4:09

That's okay. No. I want you to shine, but I

4:11

love them so for me. She knows that she's

4:13

not. So even, like, when we do live shows on stage,

4:15

like, when we have to read something, like, this is just

4:17

really

4:17

long. I feel like Ashley handle that -- Yep. -- you know?

4:19

I'm the Ashley. I mean, I'm the I'm I'm

4:21

not the Ashley. I'm Marina.

4:23

But I do read a lot of, like,

4:25

I've started just reading more books. I love

4:27

the way you talk about books because you

4:29

sound like an addict but

4:31

for books because you're like whenever someone posts a

4:33

photo, I buy it right away. Like, you just

4:35

you had, like, the energy that I bring to,

4:38

like, different flavored breakfast

4:39

cereals. Yeah.

4:41

And

4:41

I was, like, wow. It could be

4:44

that way. It's it's been I've

4:46

been reading more recently, but I I grew

4:48

up like a big book kid. My mom was a

4:49

librarian. Like, it's just,

4:52

like, big book energy, I don't know. Did

4:53

you get a lot of, like, book fair toys? Were you

4:55

always getting a lot of, like, eraser shaped, like, ice

4:57

cream and stuff? Yeah. I mean, I saw this meme

4:59

recently that was, like, remember the Scholastic

5:01

Book Fair, and they named all the things you could get there,

5:03

and they Brent made mention of the Lamborghini

5:05

poster. Do you remember there would be like random

5:07

-- Uh-huh. -- posters? Yep. Did you guys

5:09

have that? I didn't grow up

5:10

here. Oh,

5:11

I was upset. I was upset. I had it. The

5:13

book fair. What are they? Like, for someone who

5:15

doesn't read, the book fair was like

5:17

It was lit. Okay. So I like but

5:19

I was do you remember the books that I had like

5:21

Wait. Let's explain it to Kalei La First. So this

5:23

Scholastic book fair is when, like, you go to

5:25

school one day --

5:25

Uh-huh. -- and the gym is all

5:28

set up like a huge bookstore. Oh,

5:29

we had that in the Philippines.

5:31

And as far as, like, this is incredible. I

5:33

don't have to work out and

5:35

you could buy little things here and there. Oh,

5:37

okay. Yes. Yes. There was some But

5:39

then and then they would award that

5:41

week. They would award the bookworm of the year, which

5:43

is always my sir. We got

5:45

that. Well, this is like a really deep

5:47

cut. Did you guys have Pizza

5:49

Hut reading club or

5:50

whatever? I was

5:52

I had pizza I don't re grew up, like, the I lived

5:55

grew up in the East Coast. Yeah. Like,

5:57

you had this thing and if you read a

5:59

certain amount of books, you would go get a personal

6:01

pan that. Oh my god. It

6:04

was exciting. And I was talking pizza had

6:06

had the salad

6:06

bar. Like, it was like a night out. Were

6:09

you doing salad bar that was a kid?

6:10

No. Were you that kid? I also feel like I I grew up in, like,

6:12

the Wendy's salad bar. Oh, I loved it. Do you

6:14

remember wait. Do you remember when they was a bread?

6:16

The garlic bread? And it was just the It

6:19

was the bun sliced in

6:20

half, and it was everything I've ever won in my

6:22

life. Yes. They have, like, a pasta.

6:24

Like, people

6:25

don't know. Where are you from on the East

6:27

Coast? I'm from Delaware. Delaware. Okay.

6:29

This sort of lines up with this theory that my

6:31

dad taught me when I was younger, he said

6:33

that people get smarter

6:36

as you go

6:36

east, like everyone on the West Coast's

6:38

dimmer, and then they get smarter and smarter,

6:40

and then the smartest people are

6:41

on the East Coast. So would

6:44

make that would track the best readers or

6:45

not. I live on these

6:47

companies. You you don't help the

6:50

theater. And

6:51

then also or

6:52

But then, like, far like, West. Like,

6:55

San Francisco. Like, all those nerds.

6:56

Yeah. Those nerds. You know? Yeah. Look.

7:00

It's just the spirit of it. Also, it's weird

7:02

you guys brought up Pizza Hut because I, of

7:04

course, saw TikTok about how

7:06

kale, the biggest purchaser

7:08

of kale was originally pizza

7:11

Hut, and it was decoration for the

7:13

salad bar. Yeah. And then some lady

7:15

was like, I'm a fan of kale, and she,

7:17

like, rebranded kale. So all

7:19

else, idiots would eat it. That makes

7:20

sense because kale holds well, it doesn't wilt.

7:22

It was just literally like golden

7:24

corral

7:25

before. Like, it's wild

7:27

to remember. I remember. Looks like the the

7:29

rolling hills of a I'm so

7:31

inspired by this rebrand. I'm like, if

7:33

Kuhn can go from, like, the Pizza Hut golden

7:35

corral garbage,

7:37

decoration, like and

7:39

then become, like, the health trend food. Like, what

7:41

Mhmm. What's like lobster? Like, lobster. What's like lobster?

7:43

Their lapses were the bottom feeders. They were, like,

7:45

they gave them the prisoners and stuff, and now

7:47

it's, like, one of the most expensive items. Well,

7:49

lobsters are also their

7:52

their season. I think is coming to an end.

7:54

I, you

7:55

know, I gather lobster. You

7:56

know, the murder, you're making them go extinct.

7:59

Is that right? Well, every year I gather

8:01

lobster from the ocean, I I

8:03

dive and I grab lobster. Right? But

8:05

then -- You fucking killed her at this

8:07

asshole. -- sent me this article about

8:09

how Lobsters actually not only

8:11

are

8:11

sentient, but they feel depression.

8:13

No. No. No. And so people

8:15

feel about this in front of me. When you when

8:17

they lose, like, a part of their let's

8:19

say, for instance Oh, because they bond for say bond

8:22

for

8:22

life, but you know We've all heard them scream.

8:24

It's like, look, you just don't pay attention

8:26

to that part, and then you just dip them in butter.

8:28

That's gotta be a good life to just make other people

8:30

happy. Very depressed. What do you want? Put out

8:32

everybody's looking for

8:33

me. They're biologically immortal.

8:37

So they don't die. You can they

8:39

cannot die unless someone actually kills

8:40

them, but they will live

8:43

on forever. What?

8:44

So it we're kind of just, like,

8:47

killing, like, basically or, like,

8:49

ancestors is how I see

8:50

it.

8:50

But we there's gonna be an overpopulation because they

8:53

would never die. We're helping the

8:55

world. True. Don't take my lobster with

8:57

their and also bring me some

8:58

bitch. I'm reading that, lobsters

9:01

do seek out safe spaces

9:03

when they're stress, probably in the corner

9:05

of the little

9:05

thing. I just So I let you coach them in. You go,

9:08

like, you go, I'll listen to your

9:10

problems over here, little lobster.

9:12

Oh my god. Oh, you're not feeling

9:14

good today? I come on over

9:16

here. You can be any gender you want over

9:17

here, and you just spear him to

9:20

spear under. I

9:20

don't spear on my Mercedes Benz.

9:23

But anyways Well, I think about they that's the

9:25

friend's quote. Right? Phoebe said they

9:26

Oh, yeah. They're lobster. They're

9:29

they're

9:29

they're made for life. That's why you gotta kill them

9:31

both at the same time. Mhmm. It's like

9:33

the notebook. They're

9:35

in life.

9:36

Okay. Are

9:37

you guys, like,

9:38

vegan? Or No. No. No. No. I'm about to do

9:40

all me. I'm like, I'm

9:41

All me. I'm just close to believing

9:44

that vegetables are poison. I listen to one

9:46

podcast. Then I listen to another one and I'm like,

9:48

it's making a lot of sense

9:49

here, guys. Plants are killing us.

9:52

Dallas. Scary and dangerous.

9:54

I eat everything. My parents are have

9:56

been vegan for four

9:56

years, and I'm getting a little stressed out about

9:58

it, and I need them to eat eggs.

10:00

What are what about you? I

10:03

eat everything. I don't I I don't eat a

10:05

lot of

10:05

pork. I think that, like Oh, yeah. I

10:07

just chose an animal to not eat,

10:09

you know. And my least favorite. So I I steer away

10:11

from pork, but every I eat everything else and then my

10:13

parents are

10:13

pescatarian, which is, like,

10:16

totally manageable. When you were

10:17

growing up, they were like that or they It

10:19

started like,

10:20

maybe when I went off to college --

10:22

Yeah. -- like a couple years back. But They

10:24

finally had the courage.

10:25

Yeah. Because we grew up

10:26

eating, like, sloppy Joe's. Yeah.

10:28

No. It's a specific

10:29

type of I think it might be the same type of trash I

10:32

am.

10:32

Wait. Wait.

10:33

Where are you from? Philadelphia? Oh, I'm I

10:35

mean, to get Delaware's like our ability Philly.

10:38

So

10:38

It is.

10:39

I mean, I completely Basically. Basically.

10:41

So yeah. They but

10:43

it's it's fine. Like, I just I don't know. I

10:46

I couldn't give up, like, the dairy. I think it's

10:48

so so difficult. Okay. Have you ever

10:50

been married? No. Okay. Do you

10:52

have ever, like, imagine a wedding? Do you have, like, a

10:54

do you think you're gonna go classy? Or are you

10:57

gonna go, like, sloppy jaws? Are

10:59

you gonna go, like, an in and out

11:01

truck? Or, like, caviar?

11:04

No.

11:04

Seated, like, plated dinner.

11:07

Yes.

11:07

I think it's, like, some sort of buffet, but

11:09

it's, like, really good food. Like, I could

11:11

see, like, a taco bar or

11:13

I went to a

11:14

wedding. It was breakfast food. I had a wedding.

11:17

Breakfast all day. What a dream? Yeah. It was

11:19

good. Because I It's at six

11:21

in the

11:21

morning. Wake up bitches.

11:24

Yeah. Wait. It was cheaper in the

11:26

morning. I've I don't think I've

11:28

been just weddings that are really fancy that

11:30

were, like, Steven Starr, catered,

11:34

and it's just never good. Like, you can't

11:36

banquet food is not

11:37

good. For the

11:38

masses, there's just too much equal

11:39

to it. It's not it's gonna be good. I

11:42

have a question.

11:42

Do people not ever do morning weddings?

11:45

Is that not a thing?

11:46

Maybe an like another That would go

11:48

along with one of the things I do wanna do, which

11:50

is a pajama themed wedding or

11:52

a sleepover

11:52

wedding. Oh my god. This is a lot of women. Do

11:55

a I thought you wanna do a lesbian themed

11:57

wedding. I was just you marrying a woman.

11:59

I think that'll have to do

12:01

the second marriage. What

12:04

if we did, like, late weddings? I think a good idea is to do, like,

12:06

a midnight wedding, so then you don't have to

12:08

invite, like, old like, you can just

12:09

Kuhn, like, alright.

12:10

No kids. Yeah. It's no because, like,

12:12

her bedtime. Like, you're a bad parent. Really bring your

12:14

Yeah. They get it really hard for everyone

12:16

to get there. Yeah. It's on a weird island, and there's

12:18

only one ferry. Yeah.

12:19

It's a rave wedding. Yeah. Or,

12:22

yeah, or even at two AM, then you

12:24

basically eliminate the

12:26

thought of people bringing their

12:27

kids.

12:27

Yeah. You have to take my And what can't be you can't

12:30

have your kids that have moly with

12:31

Yeah. Either caffeinated or molyed up.

12:32

You better

12:33

be both. You better be both.

12:35

I know that you're a main drug of choice.

12:37

Is books, but we

12:39

oh god, miss miss Branded.

12:42

That's alright. Do you have

12:44

other vices like I'm basically a

12:46

newly a pot head, so I'm just curious if

12:48

what your deal

12:48

is, if you do that thing. And she

12:49

means pot, not a pot. She's not like just getting

12:52

into pot I really

12:54

love yoga. No. I I mean,

12:56

I I drink

12:59

and I stay up late and I'm on my phone

13:01

too much. And I don't

13:03

I'm I've just never done really great

13:05

with with weed, like

13:07

edible specifically. Like, I'll smoke a little weed here

13:09

and there, but I feel like I'm off all

13:11

other drugs because I'm terrified of

13:13

fentanyl. Mhmm. Right. No more

13:14

powders. Like, I I just I

13:17

haven't done a ton of coke, but I

13:19

would

13:19

be like sure if I'm in the mood and it's

13:22

out, but I feel so

13:24

scared. Yeah.

13:24

It's like if they asked twice and I was like and I was like, I

13:27

don't wanna like, you're sure. I'm like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's

13:30

fine. But I don't know. I don't

13:32

have, like, a ton of of

13:34

vices. I mean, it's so boring, but I just the thing that

13:36

I'm always trying to work on is just like, not

13:38

being on my phone. Yeah. Everyone likes leaving

13:40

that. Do you have any moves?

13:42

Well, I I haven't leaving my phone outside of my

13:44

bedroom if it has

13:45

help. Has any have you ever missed anything where you're like,

13:47

okay, miss something? Well, I, like,

13:49

turned my ringer off at night.

13:50

Oh, good. And then just just so they don't

13:53

interrupt when you're candy question or

13:55

whatever. Yeah. Yeah. We're talking about the same thing.

13:57

But I think it's helped. I think that,

13:59

like, you when you're really trying to

14:01

scroll right before

14:02

bed. It's like lighting up your brain. And so I was

14:04

like, I'm not a neurologist, but it just

14:06

isn't good. Wait. You're not a neurologist.

14:08

Why are you here? What's going

14:10

on? I med school. Or even

14:12

if it's the first thing you pick

14:13

up, if first thing in the morning. So, like, my rule is

14:15

always first thirty minutes as my eyes are

14:18

cracking open. I will not look at

14:20

my

14:20

phone. I'll take my dogs out, do my thing, and

14:22

then pick up my phone afterwards. It pisses people

14:24

off because they're like, why

14:24

we're worried. What? No. It's really healthy.

14:27

Yeah.

14:28

Well, I

14:28

need it. And Also, the were were used. I'm done with

14:30

the were were used. I have no more were used in

14:32

my life. Yeah. No. No. No. If you're where

14:34

was

14:34

that? Go fuck yourself. I don't know.

14:36

Right. I don't

14:37

need thing that's whatever I wanted to

14:39

be doing. You just have to say, like, boundaries in

14:41

self care these days and, like, it's fine. I mean, you

14:43

guys know you live in California.

14:44

Like, right? Is that That's

14:46

our thing. No

14:46

one can fight you on it. You'd

14:49

be surprised. Wait.

14:52

So Esther sent me this thing yesterday

14:55

about looking

14:57

for the best or it's a hack to

14:59

look for the best Chinese food

15:01

in your area is to look for the

15:03

Chinese restaurant that has specifically

15:05

three point five

15:06

stars, not four stars.

15:08

Kuhn three stars, three point five.

15:11

It

15:11

sounds like a prank or like a joke.

15:13

No.

15:13

Then the way he explains

15:14

it, you're like wait, this is

15:17

mathematical, like, really are we watching

15:19

that? Easiest way to find authentic Chinese

15:21

food, assuming you're living in a major metropolitan

15:23

area, is to go on Yelp and look for restaurants

15:25

with three and a half stars, exactly three

15:27

and a half, not three, not four, three and a

15:29

half stars is the sweet spot for authentic

15:31

Chinese food. PF Chang's two and

15:33

a half stars, bad, obviously, obviously bad.

15:35

Dintai fun. Four stars. Too many stars. Too

15:37

many white people like it. The service is too

15:39

good. I think it's too good. The way, companies

15:41

here are better. I've been here. The waiters are not

15:43

gonna pay attention to you. They're gonna be

15:45

rude, but it's gonna taste better. So I'm talking

15:47

about three and a half stars. That orange three point

15:49

five, that's exactly what you want. Why is this the

15:51

case? Here's my theory. Cultural expectations

15:53

for service are different in

15:55

Asia. They're not as proactive. They're not gonna come up

15:57

to you. They're not gonna just proactively give you

15:59

refills you need to flag down the waiters. People on

16:01

Yelp are insufferable. They're digging all these

16:03

restaurants because the service is bad.

16:05

However, the food balances it out so

16:07

you end up three and a half

16:07

stars. This is sweet spot. That's sweet.

16:10

Brilliant. Easiest way to find it. It's amazing.

16:12

Can you look up this place in

16:14

in New York called New Moon? So

16:16

this is like my order

16:18

place, but I have no idea what

16:20

what It's like the food is so good,

16:22

delivered. So now

16:24

I'm just so

16:24

curious. If it passes the test. I'm

16:27

nervous, you guys. Oh, it's at four point

16:29

one.

16:30

Oh,

16:31

it's before. For

16:33

Is it risa food really good?

16:34

Okay. The food is so good, but I

16:37

I literally don't know where it is. I'm trying to get

16:39

a vibe off this

16:39

photo. But kinda looks like shit in

16:42

the right way, you know. Right. If it makes you feel

16:44

better, his example didn't Tayfun for four

16:46

stars is my favorite restaurant of all right

16:48

now. And it is for white

16:49

people. All that means. Oh, dumb.

16:51

I saw this meme the other day that said

16:54

having a restaurant reservation is so

16:56

embarrassing. Like, hi. I'm here for my spaghetti

16:58

appointment. Oh, damn.

17:01

So

17:01

funny. Like, when you think about stuff

17:03

like that, that cuts

17:04

me to my core. I'm a

17:06

razz guy now because I've been burned too many

17:08

times. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I've been burned

17:10

I I

17:10

did get

17:11

to slip someone money once then. That felt

17:13

good.

17:14

I like flipping money. I also have to say that

17:17

ambiance. I don't give a fuck about

17:18

that. Just the food. I wish that

17:21

I was some, like, culture truly

17:23

special smart person that, like, cared

17:25

what the restaurant looked

17:25

like. I just want the good food. A

17:27

view is fun, though. View is fun. I

17:30

like Zoom. View on, like, music. They just

17:32

don't get it right sometimes. Yeah. I'm

17:34

like weird about music. It's like I would

17:36

have to agree with you on that. Like,

17:38

I I don't know. Like, I I think

17:40

that important. But then also, like, it's not like they're

17:42

playing the hits at the Chinese

17:43

place. They really do though, but they do.

17:45

Yeah. That's a pro like, if you go to any Asian

17:47

restaurant, they always have z

17:50

nostalgic

17:50

playlist. And you're like, I haven't heard this, but

17:52

it's your your mom's playlist. That's

17:55

true. And you say that is actually so

17:57

perfect because I went to a Japanese

17:59

restaurant with Todd and they were playing all

18:01

this, like, Thai music that his mama always used

18:03

to play. And Thai dance can you look up

18:06

Thai dancing? Maybe loves

18:06

dancing. It's like I can

18:09

Kuhn.

18:09

Like a dance

18:10

I can do. Yeah.

18:13

That's starting a little complicated now.

18:19

This is I'm telling you the dances that

18:21

you think they're easy, like the Cufit dance. I'm

18:23

like, I could do that. And then I

18:24

tried. I was like, I It's not Which one's

18:26

the cuff and the cuff. I tried over the weekend. I could

18:28

do it. Wait. What's that? I do it.

18:30

It's the

18:31

Oh, I can't say cuff it song. Show it. It's

18:33

the show it. And it's for what Esther

18:35

has been able to teach It's very

18:36

easy, Esther. You've got it. Well, there's

18:38

an easy People sometimes have

18:40

problems with the body roll. Right? So it's

18:42

basically

18:43

It's this body roll. When when you roll

18:45

--

18:45

Yeah. -- hit this Oh, I know. Yeah.

18:48

That's not that

18:48

easy. That might be the only

18:50

thing I can do. So

18:53

you

18:53

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19:35

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22:26

trash Tuesday. I've

22:29

recently come across like an

22:31

interaction in real time of how sugar

22:33

babies asked to be sugar

22:34

baby. I'm so intrigued by

22:36

it. So I have a friend who

22:39

is, like, you know, he does well for

22:41

himself and whatnot. He meets a girl

22:43

actually at a at a at a at a friend's

22:44

party, but she was brought in as like a

22:47

date of an event. It was a friend's

22:48

themed party she was feeding me? They just happened to

22:51

talk. They had and then they

22:53

hooked up later that night, and

22:55

then they parted ways, exchanged

22:57

numbers. But then the next

22:59

day, she was like s b,

23:01

just s oh, hold on. S b --

23:03

Mhmm. -- question mark. And he was

23:06

like, like, San Diego? Like, is that where you're gonna

23:08

be? You know? And

23:10

she was like, oh, no. Like,

23:13

you know, just so you know, like, this is

23:15

usually, like, how it works blah blah blah. She

23:17

was, like, just wanted to know if you wanted

23:19

to, you know, be my sugar daddy with

23:21

very direct, very polite, very

23:24

bright. And I was like, wow, they're

23:26

just outward. There's no trying to be

23:28

coy about it. It's just

23:29

SD. Start sharing

23:30

down is the this I

23:33

like There's

23:33

like code

23:33

language for it. Yeah.

23:35

There is. Heim's so on

23:37

board.

23:37

I could do a whole seminar on

23:40

dating

23:40

down. I'm trying

23:42

to I just have years and

23:44

years and years. I get dating fat. I

23:46

can tell you What

23:47

is dating up? I don't under I can't

23:48

really say so

23:49

weird that I

23:49

guess the guys that I've dated couldn't really.

23:53

Kuhn gonna text Dave s d question.

23:56

And then it's gonna take you to say hi

23:58

to him. Can you

24:00

actually text him s d right now?

24:02

Yeah. Let's see what he does. Oh, he's gonna be I think it's he's pulling

24:05

7EQUIS. They say, Diego.

24:05

Right? Like, you guys are with these things even gonna do a day

24:08

trip. Let's see.

24:10

What he I have never in my

24:12

life suggests of the day

24:14

let's Scott, I don't know

24:16

you. I just she's cancelled a few.

24:18

Mhmm. Together for ten

24:19

years, I've never let's okay. S

24:22

d question mark You guys start this challenge

24:24

with your listeners, like because

24:26

I just Yes. I think you'll

24:28

get a lot of

24:29

7EQUIS. Which is funny. Yeah. I

24:30

just got a question

24:31

for a

24:32

friend. You just

24:33

got a question. Yeah. What should I say back?

24:35

Wait

24:35

it out. I'll just No. Put

24:38

something in there so there's a three dots for, like,

24:40

five minutes.

24:41

That is cruel. No.

24:43

That'll that'll react to

24:45

yours or he wrote a question. He wrote question mark, and

24:47

then he just wrote, what's that?

24:49

Look it up. You tell me. Yeah.

24:52

You tell me. You tell

24:52

me. Yeah. Do

24:54

you tell me? I

24:55

feel like you've already asked him this and he's already pleatly

24:57

said no. Many times. Mhmm.

25:00

Many, many, many times.

25:02

Wait. If he Googles it, what will happen? Let

25:05

me see. See. Wait. Is it not

25:07

polite to ask my ex to be my sugar

25:09

daddy? You

25:11

know, I got two Bobby.

25:14

I'm gonna text

25:17

Bobby right now, SD. I think guys will be

25:19

flattered by it. They'd be like, oh, you think

25:21

I'm

25:21

rich?

25:21

He

25:21

probably never believed that it wasn't sucked in. The

25:23

only the only guys

25:25

that are crying about gold diggers are

25:27

the guys with no gold today.

25:28

Oh, that's it. Guys

25:31

who actually have gold, they're happy to

25:33

Yeah. It's like that part of that. Gold

25:35

digging is not one way. You can't one way

25:37

gold dig. That's robbing someone.

25:40

Yeah. Actually, every once in a while, I'll get a DM

25:42

of and I I mean, I

25:44

don't think that there are, like, troll

25:46

accounts, like, real DM's from

25:49

just random guys. Like, can I

25:51

be your sugar daddy? But it's like, you look

25:53

so broke. Like, no. No.

25:55

I I make more money than you.

25:56

There. I got a lot of people that wanna be my

25:59

sugar baby, but I have my own

26:01

sugar baby. Your sugar baby.

26:02

Right. I have an update from Dave. He said,

26:04

what's that? I said, LOL. I'm asking you to my

26:06

sugar daddy. He said, oh god. And

26:08

then he said, can I just be your

26:11

husband? Alright.

26:13

No.

26:15

It's weird that

26:17

you said once you said yes

26:19

once and no for so many years after

26:21

I know. It is True.

26:23

Like, like, texting for you. I

26:25

wish. No. I literally begged

26:27

Dave to marry me every day the

26:30

for for five years and then

26:32

he finally proposed to

26:33

me. Now I have the power and I'm

26:35

just like, not I won't marry

26:38

him basically, Dave had his bachelor party five years

26:40

ago.

26:40

Yeah. You guys aren't married? No.

26:43

Okay. I'm married just fun

26:45

over. Yeah.

26:45

I also am too lazy to

26:48

plan a wedding. It's just like When

26:49

you're ready to have a wedding, you're gonna be,

26:51

like, excited. Yeah.

26:52

Exactly. You're in about two AM wedding --

26:54

Yes.

26:54

-- and sleep over when you get

26:57

the right pajamas. You're gonna

26:59

be ready to roll. And you're gonna be the only one who,

27:01

like, does not have hair and makeup.

27:03

Yeah. That's the rule. Do you

27:06

take your hair and make them off? Yeah. Do you watch the Bachelor

27:08

at it all? Yes. Yes. Yes.

27:09

Did you watch it last night? No. I didn't.

27:11

I started watching it. I fell asleep.

27:13

I'm okay with spoilers. This is gonna come

27:15

up for a while because Well,

27:16

it's not even spoilers. Because everyone's too

27:19

hard finale. Yeah. So it's they didn't

27:21

even give us really a finale, so there's a whole another

27:23

week --

27:23

Oh,

27:23

a week. -- so it was really anticlimactic.

27:26

But it's just crazy.

27:28

Both of these women are,

27:30

like, begging these men to propose to

27:32

them. And it's so wild because

27:34

the men I'm not being, like,

27:36

you know, on the man's side, but

27:39

they seem logical and rational

27:41

--

27:41

Right. -- because they're like, I wanna date you.

27:43

I wanna be with you.

27:44

Yeah. I'm sure about you. I'm

27:46

in love with you or I'm falling in love with you, I just don't

27:48

wanna propose after six weeks. But what girls have

27:50

to, like, bag and just you're hearing

27:53

the producers this is the show. The

27:55

show has to end with the proposal. It's

27:57

crazy. And it's interesting because I don't know if you show with

27:59

Gabby Gabby is a friend

28:01

of the show. Love Gavi. Oh, my god. Love her. Love

28:03

her. I went to follow her because I watched last

28:05

season. I was like, she's hilarious.

28:06

Yeah. So I went to follow her and she was already following

28:08

me

28:08

and I'm like, Oh my god. Yes, bitch. I think she was

28:10

a girl code fan. But so so she

28:13

and now she's on dancing with starts with Val as

28:15

her partner. Uh-huh. Who's our friend from we

28:17

met through Whitney. When you come to know that she

28:19

was on. But so she said

28:22

to the one guy, she goes when the

28:24

guy was going, it's just like, this just isn't

28:26

realistic. She went she actually went

28:30

Yeah. I know. Can you just

28:32

pretend for a second? Like, I think they're just

28:34

like, can we just have, like, a positive

28:36

outcome? Like, at this point, it's like, many of

28:38

the people get engaged. They don't end up getting

28:40

married. They have a year of making a lot of money

28:41

together. Like, happens to just promise rings.

28:44

Neil Lane Is that

28:44

is the They've done it a couple times. Is he

28:47

just not as promised? I know that they need

28:49

to, like they're the original they

28:51

need to set themselves apart. People want this

28:53

proposal, but feel like over time, we've

28:55

all realized how ridiculous it 7EQUIS. And so

28:57

many dating shows that I love, like, I

28:59

loved Fuck Boy Island and too hot to handle.

29:01

Like, they don't need to end in marriage

29:03

because it's just so Yeah. So it just

29:05

is sad to watch these girls look

29:07

desperate for a proposal after six weeks or two

29:09

months or however long they're on

29:09

there. And the guys are come

29:12

across. So, like, hey, listen. I

29:14

really like

29:14

Yeah. I wonder how much production But I

29:16

like this, you're kind of production for the

29:19

biggest Oliver For the That's the

29:20

proposal. And that I definitely do. That's

29:23

all.

29:23

Well, with what's the other girl's name? I

29:26

forgot just for Rachel. Rachel,

29:29

she always says, like, when things are happening, she's always

29:31

like, I'm trying to do a good job as a bachelorette.

29:33

So what I'm getting from that is, like, they

29:35

want, like, the outcome to

29:37

look positive. Like, they want to get the

29:39

it's a game show and they wanna win

29:41

the end of the game show. And so I don't know

29:43

how much of it is like this natural, like,

29:45

they don't seem like Desburger. I was

29:47

like, Gabby is the fucking shit. Yeah. Gabby

29:49

for sugar. But they've been so brainwashed.

29:51

I mean, the way that show is so wild like you

29:53

don't have your phone or books or

29:56

TV or just like in this crazy

29:57

bubble. But Zach who's,

30:00

like, at the end. Yes. And they think he's

30:02

gonna be the next bachelor. There's

30:03

no way, Zach, the next bachelor's. I'm

30:05

I'm in Kuhn, and

30:07

madam? And he was, like, DM me late night.

30:09

And it was, like, a show show s he

30:11

was, like, s capacity. Yeah. And I

30:13

was, like, you wanna suck my dick?

30:16

Wanted me to be a show. Like, I actually have a dick on the top of

30:19

my ass cracker

30:20

knife. I'm

30:21

a pile of night o sis. Did

30:24

you see it at the pool? She was

30:26

out

30:26

of it. Please?

30:29

Nope. So we did this we

30:31

had a show for JFL and

30:33

Kuhn, and we did at the pool. It blown

30:35

MTV Spring Break. Yeah. And he was, like, one of

30:37

the single guys in the pool. And we brought guys

30:39

up in stage, and we brought, like, three guys up in

30:41

stage, and then I did, like, a fuck Mary

30:43

Kill with all of you. And they we had him

30:45

do stuff. Like, I think he kinda, like, pulled my hair and, like,

30:47

choked me a little, whatever, like, funny play

30:50

stuff. And I chose

30:52

him to fuck, obviously, like,

30:54

of the three guys. And he's I

30:56

think he's harder than he looks on TV. I think everybody is

30:58

like that, but he was really hot and he

31:00

was Kuhn. And then at one in the

31:03

morning, I'd, like, just take it off my makeup

31:05

and he dmed me,

31:07

hey, it's fuck. Do you wanna get

31:09

a drink? That's funny. That is funny. And

31:11

I it was nice. I was like, if

31:13

you with the The pool was

31:15

three PM. Like, you've had all this time

31:17

-- Yeah. -- to hit me up. Like, I would have

31:19

been interested and get a drink aware.

31:22

It's in the hotel, but, like, it's one o'clock in

31:24

the

31:24

morning. I was like, I just you know, it's

31:26

it was also just amazing.

31:28

Seriously. That works for me sometimes though. It was

31:30

a cute opener. IIII hooked up

31:32

with one guy because he he begged me on that

31:34

way out. He goes, I'm leaving. He

31:37

goes he goes, come on. Let me just just sit

31:39

on my face. I'm leaving in,

31:41

like, in a day. And I was like, okay. And then we had a birthday. And then it was

31:43

like, he was leaving. So I was like, woah.

31:46

Yeah. Sorry. See, that was

31:48

fun, but I made him do too much

31:49

ketamine. It didn't mean to the we had,

31:52

like, a really intense, like, conversation

31:54

about our lives.

31:55

We should we

31:56

start NASA

31:57

sit on face, sit on the floor,

32:00

like, San Francisco, like,

32:02

open for interpretation. We're

32:03

either going up north

32:05

or down south

32:06

or show her father sugar from

32:08

sugar. Oh, they're that's if they're, like, eighty

32:10

and above. That's, like, we're not, like, father of

32:12

science. Enough. Okay. But you're

32:13

Yeah. Right. Right.

32:14

Right. That's, like, you have their or, like,

32:16

the crappy status. Yeah.

32:17

It's just enough to, like, go out to dinner and

32:20

look pretty

32:20

I'm glad

32:20

you're you're saying that about him being, like,

32:23

hotter in person too because he Heffner?

32:25

The edits. Yes. Him too Heffner are gorgeous

32:26

now. Have you seen him recently? Let's see

32:29

him

32:29

as a board. Let's zoom him.

32:32

Yeah. But Because on the

32:34

bachelor and the bachelorette, people

32:36

get weird edits. They

32:38

they do, like, you know, crazy

32:40

things or whatever. And this season, I don't know if you

32:42

guys know. It's like they don't usually have two

32:45

bachelorets. It's like -- Right. -- like they just

32:47

pit and they're thank god these girls are fucking

32:49

friends. A hundred percent Because

32:51

they just these bitches against each other. Completely different

32:53

personalities, completely different looks. And

32:55

then the guys got to kind of choose which one Kuhn

32:57

It was just so like, they took their power from

32:59

them in a way. I think they handled it

33:01

well, but it's like, I can see where they're like, I want,

33:03

like, these people. But but so, like, that

33:05

guy, Zach,

33:06

he was

33:07

like, really thought he was gonna marry. He was

33:09

like ready to marry girl. I think he I think

33:11

he's just, like, this is fine. Like, I don't think he's a

33:13

real deep thinker. I think he's just, like, she's

33:15

hot, and she seems

33:16

great. And let's do it.

33:17

Would you see hometowns when his uncle? Is

33:19

that, like, famous He was on Seinfeld. Yeah. It's

33:21

the name. He

33:22

was does he play the Blaine's

33:25

boss or something? Whatever. But

33:27

anyway, that's so funny like, name drop your uncle and, like,

33:29

who brings their uncles of the fucking hometowns.

33:33

But But yeah.

33:35

So anyway. So he, like,

33:37

he was, like, she's being fake. She's been weird

33:39

or whatever. It's, like, yeah. Because it is

33:41

a weird thing. But it's

33:43

interesting how much people bring to the front of the

33:44

camera. I was thinking behind. He's a

33:47

he's a nice guy. He's like,

33:49

III could see a world in

33:51

he's definitely, like, the old school prototype of the bachelor

33:53

in terms of

33:54

just, like He just seemed weak. I don't

33:56

know. He seemed too weak. We've

33:57

already had too many week patch

33:59

Kuhn

34:00

don't I'm not really pushing for it. I don't know. I don't

34:02

I think I want them to do too now. I feel like it's

34:04

only fair. I

34:05

think the hottest --

34:05

Yeah. -- have them do too and have the women

34:08

do between that. I think the

34:10

hottest, almost bachelor was

34:12

on Rachel season,

34:14

Black Rachel.

34:14

Mhmm. I thought

34:15

it was

34:16

it. I never mind. He was on. His name

34:18

was Peter. He had a little gap. Yeah. The doctor

34:20

-- Something was -- Peter didn't see my

34:22

number one. Who's better how do you guys get so

34:24

hot? No. I keep seeing them

34:26

on rye. Is

34:27

he on rye? Yes. I'm trying to get a rye

34:29

just for No. That's pilot pilot Peter getting back.

34:31

Oh, no.

34:31

No. No. No. Not

34:34

pilot time.

34:34

He was a he was a weird problem. No. He was a he was a head on

34:37

too. He's a trainer. He's a trainer. That's what

34:39

he is. No. KRAUSSE

34:41

is his last

34:44

name. He's not the bachelor's. He was

34:45

on the bachelor yet. Yeah. He was on the bachelor's. And he had the little

34:47

gap too.

34:47

Like, right now, it

34:48

was hot. But their breakup scene was

34:50

so

34:51

heartbreaking for me. Heartfelt real.

34:53

He cried her lashes off. It was

34:56

that was one of the most

34:57

funny stuff. Yeah. He's so great.

34:59

He

34:59

is cute. It's like a different

35:02

of cute. And

35:02

he's salt and pepper now, Esther. Yeah. This

35:04

is like That's

35:05

that's his, like, audition

35:08

picture, but Yeah. He's Okay. So I talk about him all

35:09

the time. China has, like, a hot

35:11

mouth. Really hot

35:14

mouth. Yes. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm.

35:15

Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm.

35:18

Mhmm.

35:21

M this sounds like a

35:24

lot. This sounds like a fake question. This

35:26

is real. When you saw

35:28

it, the first new it

35:30

here, with the Skarsgard as it. Like, did you

35:32

And move yes. And the juicy

35:33

lips, can you pull up picture picture? Assume I've seen

35:35

it. I don't

35:36

think I can. We'll just look at this picture. Okay.

35:39

Because all I thought to this whole fucking

35:41

movie was, like, I would love to get eaten

35:43

out. Not that what Not that what that

35:44

what Not that what I was.

35:47

By that. Khalyla.

35:49

In. Scary cloud. Yeah.

35:52

On on numbers scare me. They

35:54

I can get it. He can get it. And he

35:56

has a little bit of a lazy eye. And for some reason, lazy eye

35:59

was hot. But I'm telling you,

36:01

I was just like,

36:01

oh, yeah. Juicy. Like,

36:04

that

36:04

especially that angle, you're, like, looking down on

36:06

him. Like, I picture him between my legs.

36:08

Like, that's

36:09

my period on his nose. Like,

36:12

I'll get my red wings

36:13

bitch. So hot. I

36:15

see. But as

36:18

regular Scars Club, I was like,

36:20

Really?

36:21

Jack Nichols. Yeah. He's too, like, dainty.

36:22

Pretty? I love all the scars

36:23

cards. I saw Alexander's

36:26

scars card

36:27

twice. Me too. Yeah. We had

36:30

we locked eyes at a

36:32

party one time for more than

36:36

three seconds. And then at Oaks

36:38

Cafe, we locked eyes again, and

36:40

I think he remembered me. And then

36:42

my niece was like, I swear

36:45

to you. He, like, look like, really, really looked at you. And he jumped

36:47

into, like, a really beat up

36:49

Nissan, like, Sentra or something.

36:51

But I thought it

36:52

was just a homeless man. That's a

36:53

homeless man. Had good abs.

36:55

Can you look up if he's dating anyone before? Yeah. It's

36:57

a I already

36:57

looked up. It's a German

37:00

model. So turns out, I am not his type at all. I I imagine that stop

37:02

with the type. always like

37:04

the

37:04

the, like, wife abuser

37:07

from big little lies. Right. Right. Right. And they

37:09

killed him. But true

37:10

blood. He's so hot. True blood. Wait.

37:13

Was he hotter in person?

37:15

Incredibly hot only because he seemed like a guy. Gorgeous. Everyone's

37:18

hotter and shorter. I feel like No. He wasn't

37:20

short and he was commanding

37:22

the room. Alexa Chung is his

37:24

And he was commanding

37:26

the

37:26

room. Carly, you are You're you're

37:28

plus his new girlfriend is

37:30

like a German supermodel. That gets

37:32

so old so fast. Yeah. One. The

37:35

girls,

37:35

they get too old. Hold

37:37

on. But

37:37

Alexa Chung, I mean, she was just an icon.

37:39

Yeah. So I was at a yeah. I was at a party with

37:41

him, and I was I was dating this guy who was, like,

37:43

commitment phobic and, like, not wanting people to know where we're

37:46

dating. And he was, like, like,

37:48

a short, not that

37:50

attractive guy. And

37:52

we went to meet with his friend, and it was, like,

37:54

we're dating. Like, we fucked before we went there.

37:56

We'd go to this party, and his friend kept

37:58

trying to set me up with Alexander Skarsgard,

38:00

and it was just so funny. I just want a couple of

38:02

game, like, do you guys, like, other people think I should

38:04

be with him? And I

38:05

don't wanna keep, like, a secret here

38:08

with me. Like, do

38:11

you understand? Do

38:13

you understand? A person who loves

38:15

you thinks there's no way fucking you. And wants

38:17

me to fuck the model man. You

38:19

fuck. Tarzan. We Actually,

38:22

I think he was brought

38:24

up a really good hot to me since

38:27

big little lies because he's so evil

38:29

and such a

38:31

fuck head. That he wasn't hot

38:33

he made him not hot anymore. No. Like, he that's that he is

38:35

that character. He did such a good job with it.

38:37

Yeah. He's so talented

38:38

to try. Watch the North in.

38:42

Okay. It'll undo big little eyes

38:44

for you. Yeah. It it was a

38:45

dark, dark movie. It's the same guy who did the

38:48

lighthouse with

38:49

William Defoe.

38:50

But, yeah, super he

38:52

looked like a fucking viking in this

38:54

one. Or or taking a scars

38:57

guard card. Okay. Is Kalei gonna fuck?

39:00

Alexander. Kalei Lopez. We

39:01

don't

39:01

know

39:01

what any of

39:02

them mean. Carlos has to look at me. Yeah. We

39:06

never

39:07

Good at

39:07

this. Getting center of

39:10

the pile.

39:12

Okay. What is that? Six of

39:14

swords. It's a man that looks like Freddie

39:16

Merck weary dancing on a stripper pole. He's That's

39:19

a really good day.

39:20

He's gay. Oh my god.

39:21

We could be

39:23

out of them. Yeah. What does it mean

39:25

for dating? Vattery has six penises. Enough for everyone

39:28

in the room. This is a six inch sword. I'll

39:30

take

39:31

A60A

39:31

husband did. He goes all the

39:34

way. It

39:34

represents overcoming obstacles and moving

39:37

forward. He's done

39:38

with that that. She's ready for you.

39:40

Yeah. He's gonna be sore. You've overcome

39:42

hardship,

39:42

Kaleila, and healing is headed your

39:45

way. Okay. Kalemer Waters are

39:47

finally ahead Oh, sorry, comedy is gonna beat you,

39:49

like Nicole Kidman. But other than

39:51

that, look, that is I'll allow the

39:54

kids Kuhn play Joffrey

39:55

was, like, everyone hates poor kid. Yeah.

39:57

Or I just remember an actress having to

39:59

come out and say, like, hey, that's

40:01

I'm not

40:04

that's that character. Yeah. Like, can we separate Well, that's

40:06

what happened. She was getting, like, I who was it? It

40:08

was it unsecured? I don't know. She was, like, I'm

40:13

do understand how they got.

40:14

Right. What if I did that for the

40:17

show where I played myself? I'm like

40:19

For this podcast. I'm like, that

40:21

wasn't They're like, your character's name

40:23

was Esther and

40:24

you wrote it. No. No. No. Yeah.

40:27

Did I tell

40:29

you guys that The the guy who plays Freddie Kruger

40:31

lives in Santa

40:32

Fe, New Mexico, and I used to live

40:34

there. Do we know the guy who plays?

40:36

I can't

40:36

remember what his name is. We look it up.

40:39

Robert England. Okay. So and what he'll

40:41

do is, like, you can recognize him. Like, he

40:43

does kinda look like Freddie Kruger.

40:45

But so people when he would be in

40:47

line, people would be like, whispering about Freddie Kruger, and he would turn around and

40:50

go. Oh, my god.

40:52

That's

40:53

so funny. Yeah. He's the best. Look at her. He's

40:55

the best. I have an update text from

40:58

Dave. It says I

41:00

thought I thought SD was the

41:02

initials of

41:03

place you wanted to go for dinner tonight and I couldn't

41:05

figure it out. Anyways, you can't

41:08

high hopes. Everybody has to do

41:10

this. Track and see what's going on.

41:12

Because I some guys

41:14

will just take a different they'll take a different

41:16

direction.

41:16

Yeah. So

41:17

cute. If you guys are watching,

41:19

we please text this to your someone in your life

41:21

and tag us and let us know what

41:24

happens. Do

41:25

you have a guy

41:27

called and steal your grandma?

41:29

Has a hot score. Mister Steele, your grandma.

41:31

Yeah. He's

41:32

a math teacher in Houston at an elementary

41:34

school, but he's gone viral as

41:36

kind of like an older inflow influencer and

41:38

I these older influencers are I heard about this one

41:41

grandma who's, like, cooking and she's blowing up.

41:43

I kinda like this movie

41:44

too. Yeah. There's a company called, I think

41:47

it's, like, OAS. They always have

41:49

these types of

41:51

models. I

41:52

think he's probably

41:54

a model for them. I feel

41:57

like my dad, not as like a model, but as like a kind of

41:59

a funny character could do it, but it's like I would

42:01

have to do all the

42:02

work. I used to have this

42:04

Instagram account that got pretty big called fashion dads

42:06

and it was like, dads, people would submit

42:08

pictures of their dads, and I'd my dad was on

42:10

it too and I would write the caption in a fashion

42:13

y

42:13

way, like, the way the fashion flowing through private. It was,

42:15

like That sounds so funny. But were they

42:17

fashionable

42:17

or just, like,

42:17

dads? It was,

42:20

like, dads. Fashion.

42:20

Like, the new balance is. Yeah. I was like Like, Esther. My

42:22

favorite such dad

42:23

shoes. I love the kids. Those are the dad

42:26

shoes of twenty

42:28

twenty two.

42:29

Guys, I have been sleeping on a Helix

42:32

pillow for the last, like, three

42:34

months. I love it

42:36

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42:36

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42:38

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42:40

in my family has been gifted a

42:42

Helix mattress. This is not an exaggeration.

42:44

I mean, everybody, if it's someone's birthday,

42:46

they've gotten a Helix mattress for me. Only

42:48

because it's like, why wouldn't I share

42:50

the joy of sleeping

42:52

on the most comfortable mattress I've

42:54

ever slept on? I mean, we spent eight

42:57

hours out of our twenty four

42:59

of the vertical on another

43:00

vertical. Hopefully no vertical. Horizontal

43:03

on the bed. It's like,

43:05

why wouldn't she choose the best thing

43:08

forty lay on. Have the Helix mattress in

43:10

my guest bedroom and literally me and Dave fight.

43:12

I'm like, we need to move

43:14

it into our main room because it is so good. Carlos has slept on the Helix

43:16

and I guess, do you love

43:17

it? It's yeah. Back

43:20

doesn't hurt.

43:22

I'm so happy that Helix is our sponsor

43:24

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43:26

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43:28

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43:31

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That's helix sleep dot

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com slash trash Tuesday.

45:11

My favorite TikTok

45:14

account is one called dad

45:16

advice from Beau. Mhmm.

45:18

And it's just this cute little dad giving advice

45:20

on how to, like, change your

45:22

light switch, how to do

45:24

a car traded. Oh, is that the

45:26

thing for boys that don't have dads? Is

45:28

that the one? If for me, it really hits home

45:30

because I I have my dad

45:32

has perished.

45:32

So, like, tiny little things like that.

45:34

It's so warm. When you say

45:37

parrish, it makes it sound like he I

45:39

was lost at sea. Yeah. Or is that, like,

45:41

the

45:41

like, a wind blue and his ashes

45:44

Hesseltine,

45:44

yeah. We threw his ashes in the wind. We were like, where's where's going? But

45:47

that's but that

45:49

advice from Bo, is

45:52

this TikTok? No.

45:53

But it's the same thing.

45:54

Oh, okay. Where did you where'd you used soda

45:56

zashers? In the sea. We

46:00

he came This is when my when

46:02

my dad died, I was nineteen. We

46:04

didn't have a lot of money then,

46:07

and they gave us an op He

46:09

wanted to be cremated, so we cremated him. But I don't know if

46:11

you guys have a see the tier of your

46:14

options, your

46:16

box options. If

46:18

you don't wanna pay the extra thirty five dollars,

46:20

he basically comes in like a to go

46:21

box. And that's exactly what he came

46:24

in. Is a to go box? And

46:25

so we were like

46:26

Did you

46:27

have a little nibble?

46:28

I We'll make

46:31

a bag that says thank you

46:33

for coming You're

46:33

like, well, thank you. Yes. They're

46:36

bound on this. No. It's really what

46:37

they had in this. I wish that's a silver word.

46:39

And and they grilled you. They really grilled you because

46:41

they're like, okay. So this is a

46:43

thirty five hundred dollar earn. But

46:45

if you don't love him,

46:47

you can also just take him in this plastic

46:49

bag. Oh, my god. And so, you know, we kinda, like, not

46:51

look this guy in the eye. like, we'll just take that

46:53

one. Mhmm. Thank you, and then we let

46:55

spread them. My ex girlfriend had, like, a little

46:57

like,

46:57

I guess, this

47:00

split the dad's ashes, but I don't know if they spread some of them, but he like, a

47:02

little earn. I just kept, like, being, like,

47:04

is there a world where I'm accidentally

47:07

yoni egging this Like, I I was

47:09

like, yummy egg size. I was

47:11

like, what? We've been at a brand new. As

47:13

we've met with

47:16

you. So yeah.

47:19

We're gonna

47:20

do it annually,

47:22

but we've heard what happens. So that will do

47:24

oral. I to get to my Vaginal. I want it,

47:26

like, vaginal. We'd well, I want our shows

47:29

we did a banana eating contest. It was wild.

47:31

Was it like, watch these girls just deep

47:33

throat, these bananas. Oh, like,

47:33

to see who does it. Was it, like, porn stars that already do that?

47:35

Or There's a girls in the audience. Oh,

47:37

that's I find

47:38

that on the live men's

47:41

capacity for taking this down the hatch

47:43

is far more, you know what

47:45

I

47:45

mean, impressive than Yeah.

47:48

Yeah. Ours is, like, maybe,

47:50

to here. They can take this whole thing. Okay.

47:52

So in my, like,

47:54

hypnosis journey, there's one

47:56

there's hypnosis downloads as a place I go

47:58

when I don't have like, hypnotist that made a

48:00

specific thing for me and I need it. You can go

48:02

in and you can, like, get different hypnosis

48:08

recordings for different things. And I was just

48:10

scrolling through and they have one for

48:12

gag reflex.

48:15

I wonder who invented

48:18

that. That's true.

48:19

Mhmm. I do to that, I

48:22

say, a guy reflexes what you need. Guys

48:24

are into the whole sound

48:26

of

48:26

you, choking.

48:27

Rejecting your throat, breaking

48:29

up. We've been here before. I don't wanna

48:31

repeat stories, but we've all thrown up

48:33

on it. And Gatspith is so much better of a

48:36

lubricant than just

48:37

regular saliva. So it's like they I

48:39

don't wanna get rid of the Gatspith.

48:41

We, like, discussed this Yes. So when we we

48:43

had Asuka on our I love her. She's a friend

48:45

of

48:45

mine. Okay. And I love her. You were gonna love her

48:48

because

48:48

she I mean, I love her. No. No. She, like, made

48:50

me wanna to porn. Like, the way she talks about getting

48:53

to porn is so inspiring. Really? It

48:55

was really, like, find your passion and, like,

48:57

do it for your career. And

48:59

she was we I, like, it was obsessed with her.

49:01

It was a good tractor. She's, like, I'm straight.

49:03

I'm, like, this straightest person, so embarrassing. But

49:05

I just found her to be, like, wonderful in

49:07

every way. But she said her

49:10

blowjob tip was that,

49:13

like, deep gagging Yeah. It's, like, but this

49:15

is, like, so gross. But that just, like, your, like, loogie's

49:18

bed? Yeah. I mean, loogie's, like,

49:20

your gastrointestinal

49:22

like your stomach acid. Okay. Come. I was thinking of like

49:24

phlegm. I'm like, are we we're not

49:26

lubing up with like phlegm. But

49:30

fleg, that's, like, when it's combined with, like, nose

49:32

juice. Right? Like, to

49:34

me, that's,

49:35

like, sugary. Like, your nose

49:37

in the row. Yeah. Like

49:39

Well, where

49:40

you swallow is opposite from your

49:43

trachea and your windpipe. So

49:46

when you're swallowing your trachea

49:48

is closed, So if it cannot be phlegm because

49:51

the phlegm would come from your

49:53

lungs. If your mouth is

49:55

open and it's coming from that

49:56

end, it's more likely to come from your stomach.

49:58

So

49:59

it's a mixture of probably hydrochloric acid

50:01

and a bunch of other stuff that

50:03

you just ate getting

50:05

kicked back up.

50:06

Okay. Which makes

50:07

it even grocer to me. Three point five

50:09

Chinese food. But

50:11

I'm so glad you brought

50:13

up our size. You got two

50:16

baby. She's a perfect example

50:18

of being

50:20

hyper sexual tool, being very business minded

50:23

about it. Yeah. And just kind of

50:25

doing it all right. And, plus,

50:27

he's so fucking funny. And

50:29

brilliant and can do anything. I just I'm I'm in

50:31

love with

50:31

her. Yeah.

50:32

She's it just was such an I've never I

50:34

mean, I haven't talked to a ton of porn stars, but the

50:36

way and I'm I know not everyone has same

50:38

experience, but her ex parents

50:39

was, like, pretty good. And if she was just, like, I

50:41

like having sex. It was, like, fun with

50:43

an audience. Right. Decided We had the

50:45

anal version

50:46

of that on our show. Right.

50:48

We had Stella Berry on and And you were I was just like, oh my goodness.

50:50

Yeah. It's really our it was a breath of

50:52

fresh

50:52

air. We're the healthiest guest

50:54

we've ever had. Yeah.

50:58

Yeah. It's fun to, like, learn about that. I know there's so many haters,

51:00

though, about it, like, so many

51:02

sex worker haters, but we're

51:03

just, like, we don't care.

51:05

We like sex workers.

51:08

And the people that hate sex workers also

51:10

probably like sex workers. It's like

51:12

the money. They just don't want them to like They don't

51:14

want them to be happy about

51:15

it. Yeah. Like, when

51:15

you're homophobic,

51:16

you're, like,

51:16

you're the gayest person. Yeah. You're the gayest person.

51:18

Well, that's what Stella says. It's,

51:20

like, like, Mike Pence is the gayest.

51:22

Person. Mhmm. There's just no He gets pro talks. And he

51:24

doesn't wanna have and he doesn't have lunch

51:25

with women. He had

51:28

no shit. Because

51:30

you don't want to. Yeah. I have

51:33

something

51:33

from HBO last week about the

51:35

problem with young men

51:38

nowadays. Oh,

51:39

I think I saw this. You all wanna watch

51:41

it?

51:41

Yes. Oh my god. Okay. So

51:44

Scott Galloway is, like,

51:46

my dream zaddy. Just so happy

51:47

with that. Here you

51:49

go. We

51:49

have we have a crisis among young men and it

51:52

starts at a young age. Young men are twice as

51:54

likely on

51:56

a a behavior adjusted basis to be suspended seven and ten high school valedictorians

51:58

or women for every one

52:00

female, for every two female graduates

52:02

from college in the next five

52:05

You may have one, the scariestat. Walking down

52:07

the avenue that is America, only one

52:09

in three men under the age of thirty have had

52:11

sex the last year. You hear sex your brain

52:14

fliers. But the bottom line is, it's a

52:16

key step to the elemental foundation of any

52:18

society, and that is relationships.

52:20

Men young men aren't attaching to

52:22

work. They aren't attaching to women. They

52:24

aren't attaching to schools. We are

52:26

producing too many of the most dangerous person

52:28

in society. And we are losing

52:30

out on a key.

52:32

We're not gonna have kids. We're not gonna

52:34

have a productive society. We're gonna

52:36

have more violence. And also, we're gonna have

52:38

a society that does not

52:41

value young men. And they do

52:43

not. Young men are different. Develop later. And

52:45

by the way, if you're a young man, this work from humping is a

52:47

disaster. They need young

52:50

man Young men

52:52

need

52:52

young men need guardrails. They need to

52:54

know how to read a room. They need to put on

52:57

a clean shirt. They know not to get high

52:59

or drink too much during the week. Sounds like a And then

53:01

get into the office the next day.

53:03

We have a crisis among

53:05

young men. It

53:08

is it is it is it is one of the most it might be one of the most dangerous

53:10

things in our

53:11

society. With this keep going,

53:13

there's something else that he says. That

53:16

I think Also,

53:17

did you just afford did you just do low

53:19

price? This equation

53:20

now. Because I thought I left eye up because

53:23

Thank you.

53:24

Because So

53:26

you, sometimes you, you

53:29

asked about the phone. Simply

53:31

put, it's a disaster. Whenever technology comes into

53:33

an industry, it consolidates it. Meeting has

53:35

been consolidated in the worst way. Fifty men on

53:37

Tinder are fifty women. Forty six of the women

53:40

show all their attention to just four

53:42

men, leaving forty six

53:42

men pursuing just four women. If if mating was

53:45

a country, it would be more

53:47

unequal than Venezuela. We

53:50

have huge mating inequality. And here's the problem. When people don't

53:53

get together and there's no pheromones and there's

53:55

no vibe, women and we don't like to

53:57

say this on the left, primarily

53:59

try and make very quick assumptions about

54:01

this individual's ability to garner resources in

54:03

the future. So what you have is

54:05

this concentration of interest and you're ending

54:07

up with Porsche Polygacy. Ten percent of

54:09

the men get ninety percent of the

54:11

attention, which does not lead to good

54:13

behavior. Well, I was the girl banging the

54:15

other guys. So I was

54:18

doing god's work.

54:19

I'm scared. I'm III

54:23

mean, it's almost like Yeah. I already

54:25

I didn't need to hear

54:25

it. I already knew it. Like, there are You feel it. Yeah. You feel

54:27

it in

54:28

the culture especially like

54:29

the women on camera and,

54:32

you know, like, sharing our opinions every

54:34

week. But it

54:35

it's sad. And I'm like, what do we

54:38

do? Do we just

54:40

have to fuck all these losers? Like, how do we get out of

54:41

this? Dude, I will I or I've done my fuck

54:44

quota of losers.

54:45

I'm done. Okay? And then

54:48

if we're it's mad at me for

54:50

that. All these fuck physicists. I think I've

54:52

been

54:52

extra charitable to Ugos my

54:54

whole life. III just I'm

54:56

the real Ugos. I'm

54:57

the tax right off, veteran. I'm not

55:00

gonna get a discount in the

55:02

future. Me too, I thought that I was gonna get

55:04

some social discount.

55:06

It's at some point in my life and say, you know what? Maybe be

55:08

nice to me because I have just fucked

55:10

I'll go as my whole life. Turns out that's

55:12

not the case. Right. You're on

55:14

to something. Thing. I think

55:16

we should

55:16

start, like, get a lobbyist, and I

55:18

think we should get tax write offs

55:20

or tax rebates for

55:23

a fucking sad young men. Right. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna

55:25

do it. This is

55:27

for what we've already done. This is giving a

55:29

lot of money.

55:30

The word retro is

55:31

like a retro whack actively

55:33

paying Yeah.

55:34

Right? Like, I pay rent right now.

55:36

Yeah. I just I'm sorry. I'm,

55:38

like, now I I'm just really in my head about all

55:40

that stuff. I mean, it was just I

55:42

it's not, like, such hotcakes, but it's

55:44

it's it is so scary.

55:47

It's like women don't

55:49

have a lack of structure

55:52

and have lack of sex and even lack

55:54

of education

55:54

and are violent in

55:57

retaliation. Like, it's just it's

55:59

all bad. And made such a good point

56:01

about the working from home

56:02

thing, like, they need to be in

56:03

the world and, like, socialized. And we keep hearing this

56:05

sometimes on our podcast

56:08

about this the not having sex. I

56:10

mean, that stat sounded crazy

56:12

to me. Of three men under thirty

56:14

and one has had

56:14

sex. Is that what he said? Yes. Yeah. Well,

56:18

imagine to how much COVID made that worse. Yeah.

56:20

Because if you're not in high school,

56:22

like seeing people and and like getting

56:25

energy from

56:25

people, you're not gonna fuck.

56:27

Like -- Yeah.

56:28

-- and I there's just so

56:30

many different things. I mean, I think that there

56:32

are still so many women

56:34

in the world don't wanna do apps. They wanna meet people in

56:37

the wild. And I think it's so so

56:39

many guys that would never dream

56:41

of approaching a

56:42

woman. And I don't know. There's a lot

56:44

a lot

56:45

of fun. And then some of the ones that do. I think we don't

56:47

want to see Britney

56:47

Snow and then broke up.

56:50

No. With

56:52

Tyler, from

56:53

selling these because of the -- No. -- the wet

56:55

candle. What? Wait. What happened? Because

56:58

he No.

57:01

We what was going on? Are you guys watching

57:03

the show? I said, I don't even know the

57:05

show, but I know the drama from

57:07

last week where he was he,

57:09

like, outed one of the other girls were trying to

57:12

kiss him, trying to make out of him

57:14

twice off camera. Do you saw that

57:15

part? Yeah. Yeah. I watched the whole

57:17

I binge the whole series. But

57:19

she was saying she was getting mixed messages from him.

57:21

So how does Britney snow not gonna go?

57:24

Like, were you giving mixed messages?

57:25

Why

57:25

would a girl think they could lean in against a

57:27

married guy?

57:27

Wait. They're married. Yeah. So they're married. And

57:30

the all

57:31

the women that that's, you know, it's

57:34

all women

57:36

in this real estate office and then three guys. And so he

57:38

they all flirt with him,

57:40

but he he flirts back.

57:43

One of them was headed on him, like, propositioning him to

57:45

sleep with her. And he said, no. He was like, I

57:47

married. Yeah. I mean, they didn't show the actual

57:49

encounter, but they spoke

57:50

about it, and they they they talked

57:54

about it where she apologized him and he was like, you know, I felt uncomfortable married

57:56

this girl Alex Hall and

57:58

him are very flirty and

58:01

she's kind of alluded to having to crush on

58:03

him, and she, like, gets in his face and, like, sucks his nose.

58:05

It's weird. I don't know. I never like this.

58:07

I've got the girl in the

58:09

middle of that. But

58:11

Yes. Hello? Kayla, I mean, guys, I'm

58:13

obsessed with the show. And I've been interested,

58:15

I guess. But it

58:16

seems, like, the there had to be,

58:19

like, problems before. They didn't they there's

58:21

no way

58:21

this, like, show. I mean, maybe maybe. I

58:24

mean, if a honestly, if

58:26

a girl sucks Dave's

58:28

nose. I'm out. That is

58:30

horrible. I would rather

58:32

see him fuck someone else against his

58:34

nose suck. That is so

58:35

intimate. Look at his And

58:37

it was, like, why are you singing my nose? I have a cute butt Like,

58:39

they're in, like, a cuddle pile on the beach. Like, see, I mean,

58:41

that's the

58:41

the stat. It is weird. It's

58:43

just not Right.

58:46

I

58:46

mean, I get it. But don't

58:48

you think that

58:49

he would know if his wife embarrassment

58:51

too though, like,

58:52

for her that are, like,

58:55

messaging her and being like, her

58:57

husband's cheating.

58:57

Like, that sucks. And then there

59:00

was this weird moment where one of the other guys

59:02

from the show was like, so you were away for a

59:04

while you guys like, you know, fucking to make up for it. He didn't say those words, but

59:06

that's what I would say. And he he kinda

59:08

stumbled on and he was Kuhn, no, we're

59:10

not really having sex. Like, it was a little

59:12

weird and

59:14

then the other guy just assumed because

59:15

he, like, was having some erectile problems and, like, took it and ran with

59:17

that. But it was a weird moment. So

59:19

it does make

59:20

me think

59:21

that they were having problems for

59:23

if he if he got asked if they were having

59:25

sex with you. I just stumbled.

59:27

Yeah. Yeah. Just to go back

59:29

to the scary thing we were just talking about

59:31

from Scott Galloway. I have I wanna give it a positive

59:34

spin. Okay? I think that

59:36

our show

59:38

is so

59:40

clearly, we are fifty fifty men and women for our

59:42

listeners. So I think that we are,

59:44

like, we're we're starting the

59:47

to solve the problems right

59:48

here today. Many boys, like, oh, I forgot

59:50

a boy's slug. I wanted to shout out.

59:56

What is your name? That hot one. Joey. Joey. I like

59:57

to see

59:59

something. Oh, boy. My boy, it was I I

1:00:02

wanna tell

1:00:04

you the logs come through and the moments I need them. I was in Atlantic City

1:00:06

with my boyfriend and his friend. His friends,

1:00:08

like, I gotta meet this girl at a club, but

1:00:10

you can I don't wanna go to the

1:00:12

club? Right? But I'm like, of course, I'll go

1:00:14

along for the party. There's

1:00:16

a line rent to pay twenty bucks.

1:00:18

I'm like, Danny. Danny comes up and he goes,

1:00:20

oh my god. Are you Danny Letterman?

1:00:22

Breaks out, gets me right into the club, gets

1:00:24

his right in. And I was like, I will show you

1:00:26

and I

1:00:28

forgot. But we went to Kisses Bang

1:00:29

Bang. Oh. London, you think. I forgot your name wrong

1:00:32

sign, but you're in my

1:00:34

heart. I I

1:00:35

love that you guys have

1:00:37

the audience like that. I can't relate. You know, my

1:00:39

Instagram followers ninety seven percent women. It's

1:00:42

like, no. I would love that too. I mean, the girls

1:00:44

are amazing too. It's like, I think I

1:00:46

started out with so many male

1:00:48

followers because I

1:00:48

did, like, Opie and Anthony back in the day

1:00:50

and, like, all the guy things that

1:00:52

I did. So to get girls is like

1:00:54

a fucking dream. I mean Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. But

1:00:56

it is fun to have both. And the boys are always,

1:00:58

like, like, I feel like I'm learning to be, like, a

1:01:00

better boyfriend. Yes. It's it's, like,

1:01:03

so heartwarming. Like, I hate to

1:01:05

give men so much credit, but the men

1:01:07

that email us and say, like, listen to

1:01:09

your podcast, tell me change. Change my relationship

1:01:11

or my the way I view women or sex or

1:01:13

whatever, and we don't really get,

1:01:16

like, single guys at our shows. Every once in a

1:01:18

while, we do. And I we'll try to fuck

1:01:19

them. It's like one

1:01:21

of favorite stories is this guy

1:01:23

I fucked up to all

1:01:25

of our shows. But Will you tell us?

1:01:27

Yeah. Oh, yeah. But women are bringing their

1:01:29

boyfriends more. We noticed that, like,

1:01:31

post COVID. Yeah. Like

1:01:33

for whatever reason, But,

1:01:36

yeah, this this girl brought her guy friend to

1:01:39

our our show in SD.

1:01:42

Oh. We

1:01:46

brought him up on stage and he and I

1:01:48

were really

1:01:49

flirty. And I

1:01:51

was, like, do you wanna wish I was, like, very into it. I was, like,

1:01:54

you wanna connect after the show. I was like, do

1:01:56

you have Instagram? I was just thinking I would DM

1:01:57

him, and he was like, no, I don't. I was

1:01:59

like, that's so fun. So or

1:02:01

you're married. I was like, when you leave the

1:02:03

stage, just leave your number with our and she sits on the

1:02:05

side of the stage and, like, controls the show and, like,

1:02:08

the presentation and everything. I was, like, I feel

1:02:10

like a male comedian. I feel like this is what they get to

1:02:11

do. So,

1:02:12

like, leave a number with my assistant. And so we go back down in

1:02:14

the green room afterwards, and I was like,

1:02:16

I wanna connect with that guy. He was

1:02:18

super hot. He was cool. And we were

1:02:20

flirting on stage. And a couple of

1:02:22

girlfriends who had been show come in and they're like, he's up there and

1:02:24

all of the girls are swarming him. I

1:02:27

was like, sluts. Like, I guess

1:02:29

Like, how disrespectful Cryo? You

1:02:31

knew he was mine. I'm just kidding. But I

1:02:33

was, like, the disrespect. I was, like, someone just could

1:02:35

go get him. So our, like, assistant actually,

1:02:37

she outsourced it to this,

1:02:39

like, Live Nation rep. I was like, what

1:02:41

is going on here? This is now I feel like an

1:02:44

athlete. Now I feel like, go get

1:02:46

the go get that hot person that was,

1:02:48

like, sitting, you know, courtside and bring him

1:02:50

down here. So he she they went and got him and brought him

1:02:52

down and it was, like,

1:02:54

immediate chemistry. We were

1:02:55

just, like, flirting. Rayna was, like, taking all these photos

1:02:57

out of these cute photos of

1:02:59

us. in the green room and we ended up going back to the hotel

1:03:02

and had, like, a great sexual

1:03:04

experience. And then he was in California

1:03:06

for

1:03:07

the week and we went to LA after we were in San Diego when

1:03:10

he dropped to LA.

1:03:12

And it was great. I mean, that

1:03:13

was really what

1:03:13

it was. It was just a fling.

1:03:16

And I

1:03:17

some really

1:03:18

good material out of it. Yeah. I did one, but

1:03:20

I don't talk about on stage because I don't I mean,

1:03:22

now I'm in a relationship, but it's like,

1:03:24

I I was like, I never wanted

1:03:26

to break that seal because I would get guys coming up that would just

1:03:29

hover. I'm like, you came to fuck me.

1:03:31

Like, you really came to

1:03:33

my Stand up I've been doing this for

1:03:35

thirteen years, busting my ass, got

1:03:38

funniest fuck, and you came

1:03:40

to fuck

1:03:42

me. Well, there's another guy that was on the same trip, then we go to San Francisco.

1:03:44

And this guy is I'm not,

1:03:46

like, scared. I think he's harmless, but

1:03:50

he deems me every day -- Right. -- and

1:03:52

he he's just talking

1:03:54

to himself for years. Mhmm. He's wrote

1:03:57

love letters that come to our joint emails. Like, Reina's read them.

1:03:59

It's so mortifying, you know, and he's

1:04:02

just obsessed with me. He's just,

1:04:04

like, middle

1:04:06

aged little man, you know, and he

1:04:08

came to the San Francisco show. And

1:04:10

at the very end of the show,

1:04:12

I knew he was coming.

1:04:16

Like, I because he I don't I don't I forget why I knew he was coming and I

1:04:17

was, like, I just told the venue, like, can you just keep

1:04:20

an eye out? Like, I just

1:04:21

I'm not scared, but I just don't know what

1:04:23

he's gonna do. And I couldn't spot

1:04:25

him the whole show. And at the end of the

1:04:27

show, Ray's were, like, doing our toast and all the

1:04:29

the music's going off. He came up to the stage

1:04:31

and he dropped this, like, box on the

1:04:33

stage. Wow. So And there it was this, like, jewelry

1:04:35

box and I wish I

1:04:37

have the photo, but it

1:04:39

basically had like a room key to his

1:04:42

hotel, and it said something like I

1:04:44

wanna eat your ass

1:04:46

tonight. He

1:04:48

texted you. He can eat it now -- Yeah. -- with what it's going on back

1:04:50

there. But yeah. So it

1:04:52

goes that was all, like, in the same week, but it

1:04:54

goes both

1:04:55

ways. No. The conversation

1:04:56

was on subs. I turned my dams off. I can't

1:04:58

even I can't do that. Like, it's always on

1:05:00

red, but I, like, see it at the top.

1:05:03

Like, I don't I don't know. I guess I could, like,

1:05:05

block

1:05:05

him, but I don't open it. I I don't

1:05:07

know. Yeah. It's just like a weird thing.

1:05:10

I'm just so cite that you, like, got that

1:05:12

moment where you got to say leave my

1:05:14

number with my assistant and you

1:05:16

got to seek him

1:05:18

out, like, I've never ever done that. I've and

1:05:20

I but I've seen so many

1:05:22

men do that over the

1:05:23

years. So I'm

1:05:26

just, like, so thankful that you did that for all of us. It was

1:05:28

funny because then she

1:05:30

I was, like, our assistant's

1:05:32

name

1:05:33

Bella, I was text him to make

1:05:35

sure it's, like like his number. She's, like, responds

1:05:37

back from the side of stage. She's, like, it

1:05:39

turned green. And all audience

1:05:42

is, like, Boeing, his

1:05:46

Android. Like, it was just very

1:05:47

funny. Oh. It was his number. It was. You're like, it's a

1:05:49

fling, guys. He can have an

1:05:51

Android. Right? Okay? I was

1:05:52

like that green text stick. But then you

1:05:54

can't but then you can't FaceTime. I

1:05:56

hooked up the guy up there who was

1:05:59

so hot. Like, I couldn't resist I

1:06:01

had that rule in my head. I was like, I'm not hooking

1:06:03

up with fans order, but he was from New Zealand.

1:06:05

He was so hot. He was so ripped. Yeah. There's

1:06:07

a picture that he sent me on an old

1:06:09

phone. That's gone. I I'm in love. I I

1:06:11

met my person, but god damn was

1:06:13

that picture impressive? I was like,

1:06:15

oh, you still have it?

1:06:17

Not at all. What was the picture of? It was

1:06:20

just him and a

1:06:22

towel and, like, a locker room. He was a

1:06:24

towel. It was just he was one of the hottest

1:06:26

guys I have ever seen in my life. But he

1:06:27

was, like,

1:06:27

a fan? Yes. He was a fan. And then

1:06:30

he came I,

1:06:32

like, talked to I did crowd work

1:06:34

with him. And then he came, like, hung

1:06:36

out. And then I

1:06:38

was, like, he was the one that was, like, just let me sit on your like,

1:06:40

or sit on my face, please.

1:06:42

If I Kuhn, like, can I sit on your

1:06:44

phrase? Like, no. No. No. Sorry. T bag you. Come on. T bag

1:06:47

before I go. But I had him

1:06:49

come to the comedy store and

1:06:51

I had, like, my friends with me and

1:06:53

they were

1:06:54

like, he is precious. Like, you've got to -- Yeah. -- all of us. I mean, I

1:06:56

mean, we're your state friends. He was a nice guy.

1:06:59

One of our like, main stories

1:07:01

in the podcast that the listeners are so invested in. This is

1:07:03

over a year ago now, but for a while, they were

1:07:05

on this, like, CIA mission

1:07:08

was I did meet this guy crowd working him. I I have the video. It's like on

1:07:10

TikTok and Instagram people love to watch it because you

1:07:12

watch it happen in real time of me. Like, what

1:07:14

who is this guy? Is he plant.

1:07:17

He's your love. Single. He's tall. He's drinking Martini. what is going on? I

1:07:19

know. And after the show, we met

1:07:20

up and we ended up, like, going

1:07:24

to dinner, at midnight, at Little Frankies in New

1:07:26

York. Like, we shut the place down. We came back to my

1:07:28

house. We Kuhn, like, making out. It was, like,

1:07:31

this epic night. And I

1:07:33

was like, this is like I

1:07:36

mean, because he was a lot younger, but I was just like,

1:07:38

I'm like very much vibing and I feel like he's

1:07:40

really vibing with me and know what it feels like to

1:07:42

be with someone you're like, you're never gonna hear from him again.

1:07:44

And I just didn't feel like that and

1:07:46

gave him my number, didn't even think to like 7EQUIS. It

1:07:48

was like he's

1:07:49

probably gonna text me, like, as soon as he walks out the door. You know,

1:07:51

like, I'm this is him and never

1:07:53

heard from him again. And and

1:07:55

I don't know his last name. I

1:07:57

had them, like, just for my then everyone's was on this

1:07:59

mission of, like, what possibly could have happened?

1:08:02

I know. It's so, like, it was in line about

1:08:04

something, and

1:08:06

I check the ticket sales from the show and, like, what his what his

1:08:08

first name allegedly was, he wasn't on there. And

1:08:10

then he had told me that he had come to the

1:08:12

show because this named

1:08:14

Natalie Cuomo. He knew her from college, and

1:08:16

she it was her show.

1:08:18

And then she didn't know him.

1:08:20

Like, it was wild. It was, like, all these

1:08:22

things, like, you check out Bitchawares. Like, he must have died. Well, I don't even have his I don't have his last name. Like,

1:08:25

I've never not been

1:08:27

able to find calling

1:08:29

the hospital. Is there a hot

1:08:31

guy there? I have a positive. They're my patient. He

1:08:34

had

1:08:35

a nice watch. I have a positive take

1:08:37

on this. I think

1:08:38

leave it, because I think what

1:08:39

he gave you is such a gift. Because there have been many

1:08:41

times where Okay. I'm not so

1:08:43

glad these lied

1:08:43

for this I

1:08:46

would like twelve hour just like to

1:08:48

find his address somehow and drive by. Like

1:08:50

for in like, I I had this

1:08:52

one one time in Vegas this twelve hours,

1:08:55

just a small window of time. We I

1:08:57

mean, just the best time I've ever

1:08:59

had with a single Lederman.

1:09:01

One of those, like, yeah. It was like a

1:09:03

music video. It's not like in twelve hours. Mhmm. And

1:09:05

at the end of it all, I didn't we

1:09:07

didn't exchange numbers. I don't know

1:09:09

why I think he his friends exchanged I don't know.

1:09:12

It was, like, twelve

1:09:14

years ago. And if

1:09:16

it had ended there, it could

1:09:18

have gone down it as it could have just been a fantasy bubble

1:09:20

I would occasionally look at or remember

1:09:22

and be and feel good about. But

1:09:26

no, I pursued it. I found him three months later,

1:09:28

and it turned out he turned out to be

1:09:30

one of, like, the most horrible people. But if

1:09:33

I had just left it there, It could have been

1:09:35

just this one thing that I just constantly turned to when

1:09:37

I'm having, like, a, you know, a blue day.

1:09:39

I'm like, oh, yeah.

1:09:41

They're in that time. That Rihanna song. Staying the strip club till ten

1:09:43

AM together me sitting on his lap. You know,

1:09:46

like, all of these things, these memories come

1:09:48

flooding and I could

1:09:51

have just not popped a

1:09:52

bubble. Yeah. I think that's I

1:09:54

think about that a lot of just leaving things as this memory.

1:09:57

Like, I fucked our

1:09:59

driver in

1:10:00

Greece. This

1:10:01

-- Oh.

1:10:01

-- and I just was like, this is just needs to it's

1:10:03

just one night.

1:10:03

Yeah. You know, we're

1:10:06

not gonna keep in touch.

1:10:09

Like, I have a great bit out of it and it's

1:10:11

that's what it was. Like, I think sometimes we have the tendency to be,

1:10:13

like, you have

1:10:16

with this

1:10:16

be, like, my romance, like, my Yeah. Yeah. We like

1:10:18

to

1:10:18

kill our own jewelry. We also, like, I have the accent with the lila words,

1:10:21

like, you kinda

1:10:24

just, like, and it, but then when they pursue it's kind of

1:10:26

hard because they're like, you don't wanna pursue it. Well, versus you're like rejecting. I had a I have a

1:10:28

insane thing that happened

1:10:30

on this podcast where I I had

1:10:32

hooked up with this guy on a

1:10:34

plane. He, like, fingered me on an airplane. No. Stop. It was at the beginning. It we we just hit it

1:10:36

out. He we he missed his plane. We got it

1:10:38

by Yeah. He would had, like, a

1:10:42

he he was like he looked like channing tatum.

1:10:44

He was like in, like, sweatshorts. That's about,

1:10:46

like, number one. But he had, like, a

1:10:49

he's just the boy could dance. You know,

1:10:51

you could tell. And he like, he like, a cheek piercing and he was,

1:10:53

like, in his sugar rate cover band. I mean, like, there

1:10:55

was, like, a lot of happening, you know.

1:10:57

But at

1:10:58

this time, the story about it

1:11:00

because we had continued talking, and then he started

1:11:03

sending me all these bondage pawns where I was like, I'm not gonna get ballgagged by you,

1:11:03

sir.

1:11:07

But we kinda estate friends or whatever. And then he finally, like,

1:11:09

blocked me because I started reading his sex on stage. I guess I heard his fans. But the sex

1:11:11

was it was too good. I read it on

1:11:13

here before. Oh, a hundred percent. It was too

1:11:16

good. And And

1:11:18

then so I was like Carlos, like, pull up

1:11:20

a picture of him because there's all these, like, shirtless pictures

1:11:22

of him looking so hot from his stupid

1:11:23

band. And then Carlos goes, he died

1:11:26

last week.

1:11:26

No. No. Are you serious? We found out on the show. We found that

1:11:31

he died. My finger bank guy died,

1:11:34

and then I chose to knock on real. I don't know how he died. And I chose to knock on, I'm assuming,

1:11:36

probably fentanyl has out

1:11:39

everyone's For sure. For

1:11:41

sure. But I, like, chose to not go to the memorial service because he blocked

1:11:43

me. I wanted to I wanted to respect his boundary. But it's killing

1:11:45

me. I wanna know what it

1:11:47

was. I've been postmortem.

1:11:50

That is

1:11:51

wild. Is that crazy? Yeah. How did

1:11:53

like, you end up sitting next to

1:11:55

him on the plane? Yeah. Well, we,

1:11:58

like, we we had to walk to a new plane because he had

1:12:00

missed his plane. I was on standby and I didn't get

1:12:02

on. Yeah. So then we, like, walked to the second

1:12:04

Kuhn, like, hung out and stuff. And he went

1:12:06

up, then when I knew it was gonna happen is he took

1:12:08

both of our licenses and went we're together and I went I

1:12:10

was, like, stopping what? Okay. I just had next smelled

1:12:13

good. He, like, got up to go to the bathroom. His, like, sure. He might be, like, perfect body.

1:12:15

Was it just was there a third person in the

1:12:16

row? Yeah. There

1:12:17

was some Israeli kid that

1:12:19

was kinda just Kuhn you

1:12:22

guys start banking out? Sorry. I'm very sorry about that. I'll start banking on an airplane if you Well, there was the blanket. It

1:12:24

wasn't like he didn't get up too much,

1:12:26

you know, but it was like it was

1:12:28

like

1:12:31

to him, it was like to him, it was like the beginning.

1:12:33

And to me, I was like, this is gonna be

1:12:35

a great story. Yeah. And then baggage claim

1:12:37

he

1:12:37

was pulling

1:12:38

me close. I was like, no. No. Kuhn.

1:12:41

I

1:12:41

think that if someone blocks you, that

1:12:43

when they pass

1:12:46

away, that that expires,

1:12:49

and that you're allowed to do whatever you

1:12:51

want. I'll have to, like, check with his his friends. He was, like, he was, like, a

1:12:53

he was a nice guy. He was really into bondage. Maybe he fucking choked himself the dog. Oh

1:12:56

my god.

1:12:59

Asphyxiated. Yeah. It's so crazy if you went to a funeral and someone's friends had

1:13:01

to be like, you he wouldn't want you here. Well,

1:13:04

I was like, I don't know

1:13:05

what happened to me once. I that's

1:13:08

my goal. I

1:13:10

am not suicidal and I will never it will

1:13:12

never happen. But I was saying, like, I think one of the like, you do

1:13:14

wanna leave that mystery of, like, maybe you were I was jerking off. That's

1:13:16

the

1:13:19

that's the one. So yeah. I was about to come.

1:13:21

We're gonna hit any of these

1:13:23

one moment. What's the leaving phone and

1:13:25

car full of guys? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:13:27

Yeah. Yeah. What's

1:13:29

and we're just

1:13:30

women. We got sent a while ago. These girls leave their

1:13:32

phone in the car

1:13:34

with a bunch of guys

1:13:37

just to see what they

1:13:39

say about that. That gives me anxiety. I'm interested in

1:13:42

that. Yeah. I mean,

1:13:45

like for

1:13:45

myself. We can watch the video. Okay.

1:13:47

Yeah. My feelings are already hurt. It's

1:13:48

just not my business, what you

1:13:49

say, behind my back. That's why the Internet's so

1:13:51

annoying. Like, why

1:13:55

sitting in front of my bed. I know. Why are you

1:13:57

singing to my tent? Okay.

1:13:58

Alright. Here you go. With

1:14:01

on TikTok, girl was, like, wanna know what we

1:14:03

used with our guys friends in high school. If it was like a car Kuhn of

1:14:06

people, the girls would be in the back seat

1:14:08

that he chatted and the guys would

1:14:10

drop them off. And one of the

1:14:12

girls would leave her

1:14:14

phone in the car recording. And then about

1:14:16

five minutes later, they would

1:14:18

text the boys and say, you

1:14:22

need a turnaround. One of us forgot our phones. And

1:14:24

so then the girls would grab the phone

1:14:26

a big thanks and then they'd go listen to

1:14:28

everything the guys would say after they dropped them

1:14:30

off. But they go, don't do this unless you want your feelings completely

1:14:33

hurt. How up is

1:14:35

that?

1:14:35

Oh, I was gonna say it's kinda

1:14:37

genius. I honestly, right when I saw that

1:14:39

I was like, can I do this by

1:14:41

myself without

1:14:42

friends? I used

1:14:42

to I used to say, I wanna do this so bad. I'm like Yeah.

1:14:46

That would hurt my feelings. I mean, hopefully, not my own partner.

1:14:48

But if you're like the hottest girl

1:14:50

in school,

1:14:51

it's probably gonna be

1:14:53

positive, but it's probably gonna be, like, vulgarity. But,

1:14:56

unfortunately, it's the wrong friend's phone.

1:14:58

Yeah. They're like, Susan's so hot.

1:15:01

Stacey's a fucking bitch. Gets rid

1:15:03

of their friends. Yeah. Esther

1:15:05

Ibs, you

1:15:06

look mad. I'm like

1:15:08

because I can't I'm trying to think

1:15:10

of a use for it in my But I

1:15:12

can't think of

1:15:13

one. Kuhn I'm kinda surprised.

1:15:14

But I

1:15:14

know there's one. Like, I'm like, do I do it to my parents? Oh

1:15:17

my god. Yeah. My

1:15:19

parents. Who do I I

1:15:21

think, like, honestly, edit it out to the point. That's how much I want you to do your parents.

1:15:23

I don't want them to

1:15:23

know. Oh my god.

1:15:26

Make sure before you leave

1:15:28

the leave

1:15:30

your phone recording that you cost some type

1:15:33

of issue. Yeah. You know, you

1:15:35

don't leave peacefully, and they're gonna

1:15:37

be like, oh, she's

1:15:38

changed. She's so sweet these days. That you

1:15:40

have to cause like a stir. I

1:15:43

that will happen organically. Thank you for her. Ashley,

1:15:46

thank you so much. First. So thanks for having me coming in so

1:15:48

fun. A part of Adam McFarlane says hi. I was

1:15:50

just talking to her this morning. Oh, I love

1:15:54

her. Yep. This is so fun. And I hope everyone

1:15:56

goes and listens to your

1:15:58

hugely, widely, crazily popular,

1:16:01

successful podcast girls, gotta eat.

1:16:03

Thanks. And anywhere else people should be looking for you? Yeah.

1:16:05

Girls gotta eat, and we also

1:16:07

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1:16:22

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we just introduced new blowjob gel and vanilla flavor.

1:16:29

What does it do? It's just good to give a blowjob with. Like, makes

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frost thing and people, like, love

1:16:37

it. They're doing the same thing. Phone. Yeah. Like, like her

1:16:39

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then we have three toys. We have more

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coming out for the holidays. And then you compare it with an app

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1:16:50

of content. So it, like, pairs via bluetooth, and then it with the

1:16:52

stories. Oh, like, the story starts

1:16:54

out kinda slow and that's

1:16:56

Kuhn you guys

1:16:58

create that? Mhmm. That's awesome. Like,

1:17:01

taken of our lives. But, yeah, it's we're

1:17:03

really proud of it. So it's it's been fun. Okay. One question just because I'm seeing

1:17:05

the picture. What do you guys think of

1:17:08

Chris Pines? Blonde,

1:17:12

Bob. It's like feminine and kind of a hot way.

1:17:14

Kuhn he He's like baby girl. Power lesbian.

1:17:17

Like, I I'm like, I am attracted to

1:17:19

him.

1:17:19

I'm into it. I'm so into it. Like,

1:17:22

I didn't know he looked like that

1:17:24

now. I can't keep up with all the Chris

1:17:27

this. I think he's a great

1:17:30

actor. Yeah. I'll leave it at

1:17:32

that.

1:17:33

That's not

1:17:34

gonna hurt his feelings. We know I like when he's, like, the zappy look. Yeah.

1:17:35

It's the heidi. No. do like how Look look

1:17:37

at when he has

1:17:39

the the full how Gray

1:17:43

beard. Gray beard. Gray hair. That's super

1:17:44

hot. That's scary, actually. Oh.

1:17:46

What is

1:17:47

your guys favorite,

1:17:50

Chris? He's skinny. Of all the

1:17:51

Christmas? What's what was the was it pine?

1:17:54

Evans? How how much? Evans does nothing for him. In

1:17:56

the same way. And they were like,

1:17:58

he's single, and I was like, I'm not

1:18:00

I mean, I I pretended to be, but deep

1:18:02

down. I feel like he's out

1:18:02

there. I don't think

1:18:03

I would wait. Who are the other Chris' spine? He's

1:18:05

worth. He's

1:18:06

worth. Oh,

1:18:07

and proud. Dad. Prat's Christians. Alright.

1:18:10

He was. Yeah. But his body, that sick boy body

1:18:11

is what

1:18:11

I like. I do like a guy who worked out. I

1:18:13

love his

1:18:13

love. Famed fast. Look at his mom.

1:18:16

About body.

1:18:18

Right. Gain fat over the workout body is the best.

1:18:20

Yeah.

1:18:21

Worked like he used to have dreams.

1:18:22

He's too wholesome for me. I just really

1:18:25

now that I saw the Chris pine looking like

1:18:27

a Yeah. I

1:18:27

do like baby girl, Chris.

1:18:30

I liked him looking so

1:18:32

annoyed. Yeah. Like, during those

1:18:34

interviews. Like like, when when Harry Styles was talking to you just liked

1:18:36

his vibe. Right? Agreed. I think

1:18:38

we all like Chris 7EQUIS,

1:18:41

but a different version Chris

1:18:42

Pineapple. I like your striped shirt

1:18:44

striped shirt with the

1:18:46

bottom right? No. No.

1:18:48

No. That's a little Does

1:18:50

that make me not like him. Is this for real? No. That's what

1:18:52

he

1:18:53

looks like when he's just Okay. That looks

1:18:55

awesome.

1:18:55

He's done with him for

1:18:58

good. I weird. I'm over it. Actors are

1:19:00

weird, guys. That looked like the

1:19:01

teacher that molest me literally. That's that's what

1:19:04

molest me. I bet was full

1:19:06

dreads. Do

1:19:06

you see why I'm upset? Okay. It wasn't even the

1:19:09

guys take

1:19:10

it down. We shouldn't have gone. You guys, thank

1:19:11

you so much. We'll

1:19:11

see you next week for

1:19:14

an all new episode of trash Tuesday. We all can't wait that

1:19:19

Ashley has done.