0:05

I have the example for you . This is for real life

0:07

. I'm sorry . You were the best candidate

0:09

for this acting role , but you remind

0:12

the director of his ex-wife .

0:13

There you go . What do

0:15

I have to do with ? I don't even know who she is

0:18

, but

0:20

I have to foot the bill because

0:23

I sound , remind or

0:26

did something that

0:28

was a trigger for that person

0:30

, that now they hold it against

0:32

me and all I did was show

0:34

up and be my authentic self . I've

0:40

had that happen . So you know , Lyman

0:42

, we would work with you . But my

0:45

partner says , man , you just remind him

0:48

too much of an uncle that

0:50

he didn't like , because you're always smiling

0:52

, You're a big guy and I'm

0:54

like , but I'm not his uncle . I don't even know his uncle

0:56

.

1:00

Unleash your potential with MetaMindstream Disrupting

1:03

possibilities . Unleash your potential with MetaMindstream

1:05

disrupting possibilities . Dive into the fusion of positive neuroscience and business strategies

1:08

with Anne Scotland and Dr Lyman Montgomery

1:10

. Break free from limiting beliefs

1:12

, expand extraordinary lives

1:14

and boost business profitability

1:16

.

1:19

Welcome . Welcome back to

1:22

MetaMindstream . Hello , lyman

1:24

, my good man . Hello , how are you doing

1:26

? I am great I've

1:28

been traveling , but I'm actually home , which is

1:30

great for a change . Sleep in your own bed

1:33

, there's nothing quite like it .

1:34

Absolutely Appreciate that . Yes

1:37

, nothing like sleeping in your own bed .

1:39

No way . So all

1:41

of you , welcome back to MetaMindstream

1:43

, where we are disrupting what's

1:45

possible . And this is part , an extension

1:48

of our company-focused MetaMindset

1:50

, where we help you

1:52

with profitability , but we make it simplified

1:55

, and we do that by combining principles

1:57

of positive neuroscience with actionable

2:00

business strategies . So

2:02

our purpose of this show

2:05

is to help you overcome all

2:07

your challenges around mental

2:10

aspects that are preventing

2:12

you or hampering you from making

2:14

those practical applications in your business

2:16

. It's very much a dual process

2:19

, right , lyman ?

2:20

Absolutely . You know , one of the things that

2:22

we definitely enjoy doing on

2:24

this podcast is sharing

2:26

both not just business tips , but

2:29

also lifestyle tips that

2:31

you can walk away and , yes , you can feed

2:33

your bottom line but also feed yourself

2:36

.

2:37

Absolutely yes , and sometimes

2:39

those lifestyle tips even become fun

2:41

and controversial . We

2:44

talk about things that aren't always PC

2:46

we're not R-rated

2:49

or anything , but we will talk

2:51

about taboo subjects as well as every day

2:53

. So the second half of our show

2:55

is always the life and lifestyle

2:58

segment , so we're looking forward to that too . So

3:00

today , our topic

3:02

for the business segment is leveraging

3:05

metamindset for overcoming

3:07

objections . Tell us a little more about that

3:09

, lyman .

3:10

Yeah , I'm excited about this one and

3:12

you know we'll talk about four

3:14

common types of objections . Whether

3:17

you're selling a product or service

3:19

, on negotiating

3:21

a contract , there tends to be

3:23

four common obstacles

3:26

or objections that come up , so this will be a fun segment

3:29

.

3:30

Yeah , I think so too . And then

3:32

, once we talk about those practical

3:34

applications in business , we're going to turn a moment

3:36

to the other part of business , the

3:39

meta mindset part . We're going to talk a little bit about

3:41

neuromirroring and what that means

3:43

to overcoming objections without

3:46

gross manipulation . So that's

3:48

going to give us some fun stuff to talk about . But

3:51

first we're going to go to our quick

3:53

, very quick commercial break and we'll be right

3:55

back to give you more actionable steps .

4:00

Unleash the power of strategic neuroscience

4:02

with Focused Meta Mindset Inc . Boost

4:05

your decision-making , sales , sustainable

4:08

growth and customer engagement . Scan

4:11

the QR code now for an exclusive

4:13

consultation . Elevate

4:15

your profitability with Focused Meta

4:17

Mindset Inc .

4:20

Hi , welcome back to Meta Mindstream . I'm Anne Scotland

4:22

here with Dr Lyman Montgomery . Hi

4:25

, welcome back to Meta Mindstream . I'm Anne Scotland here

4:27

with Dr Lyman Montgomery . So

4:30

, lyman , we're talking about now actionable steps that our listeners and viewers can take

4:33

using a meta mindset to help overcome objections

4:35

. What are some steps we can take ?

4:37

Yeah , you know there are four common objections

4:40

that you deal with , like I said before , whether

4:43

it's business negotiation , even in

4:45

relationships . Okay , and

4:47

let me ask you this question Ann , as

4:50

a you know international bestselling

4:53

author , life coach

4:55

, business coach , I'm sure you've

4:57

had an individual that you've

5:00

made yourself pitch and they kind of look at

5:02

you and say , well , I don't

5:05

know , the cost is kind of high

5:07

, right ? I'm sure you've had that happen , right ?

5:09

Oh yes , there's always some kind of objection

5:11

from a lot of people .

5:13

Yeah , and so what I've found is

5:15

, when a person has

5:17

an issue with the cost or an investment

5:20

, what they're really objecting

5:22

to is not the cost .

5:24

however , they're wondering if

5:26

the cost is in alignment

5:29

with what they

5:31

value I

5:33

was going to say the cost is in alignment

5:35

with the value , because if they think it's valuable

5:38

enough , this is a good question

5:40

. I'm just going to throw this in here for you . I'm in right here . So

5:42

what is one of the things you know , when we're overcoming

5:45

objections in sales , how

5:47

can we help them see the

5:50

cost benefit ? How can we establish

5:52

the benefit ratio to

5:54

really help them understand and

5:57

say I'll pay anything , I have to have

5:59

it ?

6:00

Yeah , absolutely . It's being able to

6:02

connect that product or

6:04

service with what they

6:06

hold dear or what they value intrinsically

6:09

. And so a good example , ann , would

6:11

be if I know , for

6:13

example , that you

6:15

value freedom

6:17

, then I should spend my

6:19

time talking about the benefits

6:22

of freedom and

6:24

less about the features

6:26

of the product it comes in blue , yellow

6:29

, green and really talk about what

6:31

will this product do or what will this service do

6:33

to give you more freedom . So I may ask a question

6:36

like this how

6:38

much time do you enjoy spending

6:40

traveling with your partner ?

6:44

A lot of time . As much as possible .

6:48

Absolutely so what if I could

6:50

show you a way that

6:53

you can spend , on average

6:55

, two to three hours a day working

6:58

on your business

7:00

and enjoy

7:02

maximum amount of time

7:04

away from your business and yet

7:06

watch your revenue

7:09

increase , as opposed

7:11

to spending 20 hours in

7:13

your business or on your business and

7:15

only having two or three

7:18

hours to try to cram in life

7:20

. And so it's about .

7:21

I would have said years

7:27

ago , I would have said that sounds too good to be true

7:30

.

7:34

Absolutely so . Now I begin to walk

7:36

you through the steps . So I now

7:38

have to create a scenario with

7:41

you and you

7:43

are able to see . So I may ask another

7:46

question , for example , Ann , as

7:48

we continue this sort of dialogue

7:50

, I might say Ann , how much

7:52

time are you currently spending in

7:54

your business , working on average

7:56

?

7:58

On average probably 40

8:01

plus hours a week .

8:04

Okay , and what

8:06

if we could cut that down

8:09

to only four hours

8:11

a week and yet

8:13

get the same or maximize

8:15

your productivity ? Would

8:19

that be something that's of value to you ? Yes

8:22

and yes .

8:22

I would do anything to make that happen .

8:32

Okay , this is how we can make that happen , ann . We have a course designed

8:34

and you kind of talk about again the benefit of the benefit , and so

8:36

you eliminate the cost . And

8:38

now notice , I'm making this all about you . I'm

8:40

having a conversation rather

8:43

than a lecture , and rather than me

8:45

telling you , I'm asking

8:47

you questions . I'm getting feedback and

8:49

, based on the feedback

8:51

, it allows me to now

8:54

reposition

8:57

the product based on

8:59

what you value , not what I

9:01

value .

9:03

So , instead of need , it's about

9:05

making it feel natural .

9:07

Making it feel natural . Exactly

9:09

it's about . There's three things

9:11

that people love . Okay

9:14

, number one convenience

9:16

. You know , if

9:18

you think about all the different food

9:20

services that came

9:22

into existence during the pandemic , they

9:24

add this little fee , called a convenience

9:27

fee , that allows you to

9:29

stay home , do what you're

9:31

doing and you can order and they will deliver

9:33

. Rain , snow , sleet or shine

9:36

, they will deliver , but you pay a little extra

9:38

for that . People also will

9:40

invest in things that

9:43

are in alignment with what

9:45

they hold to be true , what they

9:47

value and what they see

9:50

as something that will benefit

9:53

them long term . Very

9:55

few people will buy something that's only

9:57

short term live like fad diets

9:59

. Now they may start out , but then after

10:01

a while they say you know what I've tried these different

10:04

fad diets ? They

10:08

don't work . I need something more sustainable .

10:10

And that's a good to what's natural

10:12

. Yes , that's

10:27

a good point too , because I little

10:29

more wary when you're having this conversation . Like

10:32

listen , I've tried three different

10:34

services . I felt like it was a total waste of

10:36

time and money . I'm not investing in

10:38

that again , but if

10:40

you know that your product will literally blow them

10:42

away , if you're willing to provide you

10:45

know the numbers to prove it as you go

10:47

that your product or service is working , how

10:49

do you bring that into the conversation

10:51

?

10:52

You know , sometimes , ann , it's about how

10:55

comfortable are they with the person

10:57

that's presenting the product and

10:59

or service , Because in reality

11:02

, it's not so much about the

11:04

product or service as much as it is

11:06

about the person . And

11:08

if there's a connection , if we

11:10

don't have a connection , I don't care how

11:12

great the product , I don't trust you . The

11:15

product might work , but I don't trust

11:18

you as the presenter or

11:20

quote . You know , some people take the position well

11:23

, I'm just the male person as

11:26

opposed to saying listen

11:29

, and this is where you bring in social

11:31

proof . So part of that presentation

11:34

might be the four common

11:36

objection , you know cost , authorization

11:39

, need and time . So within

11:42

that story , you might

11:44

have social proof . That goes

11:47

something like this and I might say you

11:49

know , and when it comes to , let's

11:52

say , not having being in a

11:54

position to make the decision

11:56

and that's normally something that your partner

11:58

, john , does , all right , you

12:00

know , emily felt the same way

12:02

, and so what worked for Emily

12:05

was let's have a conversation

12:07

with all the decision makers

12:09

in the room , because you're

12:12

going to hear something different

12:14

than what the other person . So it's best

12:16

, would you agree ? And then you

12:18

kind of not . Yes , yes , would

12:21

you agree ? It's better to have everyone

12:23

getting the same information at

12:26

the same time . So now John

12:28

can ask questions and

12:30

you don't have to serve sort of as

12:32

the filter and

12:35

oh God , what did ? What did he say ? I think he meant

12:37

this and sort of do the back

12:39

and forth dance . So and that's

12:41

something that you could do is

12:43

is number one reassure them , bringing

12:46

the right people into the room to have a conversation

12:48

. Another thing that works great

12:50

, ann , is asking

12:53

them what

12:55

are the two most important

12:58

things for them to

13:00

get them to a yes , and

13:03

notice it's different . A lot of times people say , well

13:06

, what will it take for you ? Well

13:09

, it's not about that . It's really about asking

13:12

them what do they value

13:14

? And to get

13:16

them to that yes is

13:19

you want to find out what do you

13:21

value in , because the

13:23

answer might be no .

13:25

Yeah , right , no , it's true , but

13:28

that is so true . And again , this

13:30

is sales that are having a

13:32

more intentional conversation

13:36

. More listening , conversation

13:43

, more listening . I know that I noticed , you know , over the years , when I bring

13:45

up the objections , before they do , it takes them a little

13:47

by surprise , because you end up solving

13:50

it for them before they've had a chance

13:52

to . You can see it building up behind their eyes

13:54

like they're gonna burst out and say XYZ

13:56

, like . So some people have had you know

13:59

. Say to me , well , burst out and say

14:01

X , y Z , like so some people have had you know

14:03

. Say to me , well , x , y Z . And

14:07

what I respond to them is and you tell them and they're like oh yeah , so I think

14:09

, as we often talk about in sales is getting , is that you know three yeses or

14:12

yeah .

14:13

The other part of that and it's a good

14:15

point is making sure that

14:18

if you're presenting information

14:20

, you have to believe yourself that this

14:22

will actually work . It's

14:25

sort of like if I'm a car salesperson

14:27

, let's say I'm selling Bentleys , but I'm

14:29

driving a Toyota , something's

14:33

wrong with this picture , and so a lot

14:36

of times , what we do when we talk

14:38

to clients is before you

14:40

position a product , have

14:42

you , number one , used it ? If

14:44

they ask you , well , how's this work for you

14:46

? Oh well , you know , I just don't use

14:49

that junk .

14:52

It's a disaster waiting to happen . And

14:56

let's take it to the next step as well , bringing

14:58

into the conversation that we're already having

15:00

and all those elements , neuromirroring

15:04

, with a metamindset . What

15:06

does that mean to this greater conversation

15:09

? So if you had to describe

15:11

neuromirroring to someone who never heard

15:13

about it , how might you describe it ?

15:15

Yeah , I would describe it as this Whatever

15:18

energy that person shows up

15:20

with , you want to not

15:22

just mirror it . Let's say they're in a low

15:25

energy state . So you don't want to drop to a low

15:27

energy state , you want to recognize

15:29

it . A good example we were on a call with

15:31

someone , remember . There was an entertainment

15:33

business and I said to them you

15:35

must have had a really hard day

15:37

because your energy has kind

15:39

of dropped and let's kind of pick

15:41

it up . And so you kind of move

15:43

them . Oh yeah , you know , I've been up since six

15:46

or seven and I've been going straight

15:48

and meetings after meetings . So you acknowledge

15:50

it , but then you try to raise them

15:53

up out and you do that and you're excellent

15:55

at this and with humor , you

15:58

know you might say something or you

16:00

might make a connection . So you know , oh gee

16:02

, I remember when I was in Hollywood

16:04

and I was on a set shooting a movie

16:06

and , man , it seemed like we would

16:08

never get through it . So that to me

16:10

is mirroring , using empathy , really

16:13

, that I can

16:15

relate to what you're feeling

16:17

, but let's not

16:19

stay there . Relate

16:22

to what you're feeling , but let's not stay there . Let's take you on a journey

16:24

to get you out of that low energy state to a higher energy

16:26

state . To me , that's what mirroring is that you recognize

16:29

it , but then you also

16:31

infuse a story and

16:33

you're , like I said , you're probably the best I've seen

16:35

do this and , um

16:37

, we're sharing your own personal story of being

16:39

in Hollywood as an actress

16:42

or even as a coach , or just

16:44

working as

16:46

a life coach or a business coach .

16:49

Right ? No , it's true , and it's

16:52

not that difficult because I think you

16:54

know part of the mirroring is , you

16:57

know , if you get on a call or you're in a meeting

16:59

with someone and you feel like maybe

17:02

you're naturally a very quick speaker .

17:04

Yes .

17:04

Maybe they're a very naturally a slow

17:06

speaker , so it's up

17:09

to you to dial

17:12

that in . So I

17:14

am often way too fast

17:16

of a speaker , so I have to make a very

17:19

mental , conscious choice to

17:21

slow my speed down by half , which

17:23

is probably closer to what the average person

17:26

is saying . So

17:28

first of all , I can take that action . And

17:30

then the second thing is , a

17:32

lot of times when people are on in a meeting

17:34

with you and they know it's quote

17:36

unquote , a sales meeting , they're

17:40

also going to be a little more reserved , a little

17:42

more holding back . So , finding

17:44

those commonalities , getting them , like

17:46

you said , telling a story or telling a joke

17:48

, getting them to laugh , something that

17:50

really relates to them , like what they

17:53

really love in their life , well , you know I

17:55

like dogs , lyman , right . So if

17:57

you say to someone you can test

17:59

it , right , it's like a litmus test . You can say , oh

18:03

my gosh . Sometimes when I'm tired , the

18:05

only thing that gets my energy back is when my

18:07

three dogs jump on top of me and they

18:09

start licking and barking and they'll be

18:11

like oh my gosh , I love my dog . Instantly

18:14

boom a commonality . Sometimes you have

18:16

to suggest it to draw people out

18:18

of their shell .

18:19

A little bit . Great point

18:21

. Great point , you know , when you were talking

18:24

I was thinking about earlier

18:26

. I was on a call with a client

18:29

and she's in the process

18:31

of writing a book and there's just one

18:33

character that she affectionately called

18:36

Cornbread , who's like the town

18:38

, drunk right . It's an urban tale

18:40

and it immediately took me back

18:42

to my childhood of these three

18:45

old men they were kind of like the city

18:48

winos that sat on the stoop and

18:50

it was right next to a liquor store and

18:52

they would always pass in a bottle

18:54

, but they would always give good advice

18:57

Like , hey , don't be like us , you

18:59

know we done wasted our lives . Y'all stay

19:01

in school . Hey , by the way , go get me a brick

19:03

, you know , with some liquor or something . And

19:06

so just that rapport

19:09

of her sharing the story of this character , cornbread

19:12

, which took me back to my

19:14

childhood instant rapport

19:16

, based on something

19:19

that was very minute , that she mentioned

19:21

in passing , about developing

19:23

this character that she affectionately

19:25

called cornbread .

19:27

And this brings me to that in full agreement

19:29

with what you're saying , this is what I call neuro

19:32

listening , because we talk a lot on

19:34

this show about the listening element

19:36

in your business and neuro

19:38

listening , though , is looking for those little clues

19:40

Like my example before is I

19:43

suggest something as a litmus test to see if

19:45

they'll respond Like ? They just seem like

19:47

a cat person or dog person . I can't prove it , but I

19:49

can kind of throw something out and see how they respond , right

19:51

. And the other thing is looking for something in

19:53

their conversation that perks up

19:55

something in you , because anytime

19:58

you can have start having fun

20:00

, it stops being

20:02

sales and it starts being personal

20:05

and interesting . But that's . It takes neuro

20:07

listening before you can neuro

20:09

unless you have had

20:11

, plus having you know , practicing

20:14

it over the years , it gets easier and easier

20:16

, where it almost becomes intuitive for some people

20:18

yeah , the other day I was on a call with

20:20

a potential client .

20:23

I was just basically listening

20:25

, active listening , I

20:27

was mirroring

20:29

and I was probably

20:32

just sharing the process

20:34

of what I do and

20:37

she said oh

20:39

my God , sign me up . I

20:41

didn't even give myself a pitch , nothing

20:43

, I was just telling her what I had done

20:45

with some other clients and

20:47

literally 15 minutes in , she's like oh my God , sign

20:49

me up . What did I sign up ? I need to work with

20:52

you and that's exactly what you're talking

20:54

about , ann . And sometimes

20:56

a person is ready to

20:58

sign up , but we are so married

21:00

to the script they're like well , wait a minute

21:03

, I got to finish my 10 points , oh

21:05

, that's the worst ?

21:07

No , it's the worst . Then , losing

21:09

all of that natural and the other thing , of course

21:11

, which we talk about all the time and is obvious

21:13

here , but in any sales , it's creating

21:16

the relationship right , because you

21:18

don't always have to make the sale on the first day . There's

21:24

pros and cons in every situation . When you read it , you read the room , whatever that is , but finding

21:26

that commonality . Well , time is flying . We have

21:28

to take our second break real quick

21:30

, so stick around with us . We're going to

21:32

go into next , our lifestyle segment

21:34

, and talk a little bit more

21:37

about handling objections

21:39

in life and in

21:41

particular objections to

21:43

I told you we get kind of controversial

21:46

sometimes your personality or identity

21:48

. How do you handle that in real life

21:50

? So stick with us .

21:51

We'll be right back .

21:53

Yes .

21:55

Unleash the power of focused metamindset

21:57

lunch and learn sessions . Unleash the power of focused metamindset lunch and learn

21:59

sessions . Sharpen problem-solving skills , spark

22:01

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wwwfocusedmetamindsetcom

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.

22:14

Welcome back to MetaMindstream

22:16

. With myself , anne Scotland and Dr Lyman

22:18

Montgomery , we've spent the first

22:20

segment of our show today talking

22:23

about actionable business steps you

22:25

can take using MetaMindset

22:27

to overcome objections in sales

22:29

and anywhere in your business . And

22:32

now we've moved on to our life segment

22:34

and we're going to continue this

22:36

conversation about objections , but

22:39

this time we're going to talk about

22:41

overcoming objections to

22:43

someone else's , objections to

22:45

your personality or identity

22:48

. So I

22:50

have a variety of objections that I

22:52

experienced in my life and I'm saying

22:54

this with humor because it isn't

22:56

life-threatening or serious but

22:58

one of the objections I used to absolutely

23:02

hate in Hollywood

23:04

was when I was younger

23:06

. They would say , oh , she's blonde , we'll cast

23:08

her as the dumb blonde , and

23:11

it would just and I would talk to look at my agent

23:13

or my manager and just think , what

23:15

can they not see ? So

23:18

I had to pitch myself . You know

23:20

why , like I promise

23:22

you , I can look like the librarian , I

23:25

can do a show with zero makeup . And

23:27

I did have to do things like that in order to land

23:29

the role , because they would just see me

23:31

and have that quick personal

23:34

judgment . Or I don't want to work

23:36

with them , you know . So that's one example , or I don't want to work with them , you

23:38

know . So that's one example . Another example is

23:40

something we touched on a little earlier , which is

23:42

just my loquacious

23:44

personality . So talking

23:47

a lot and being blonde , I

23:49

will go out in the world and I'm

23:52

kind of like a golden retriever . I literally

23:54

just like love everybody and

23:57

but other people and I will , since

23:59

we're not mincing words . Often women . They

24:03

see me come into room and it just turns

24:05

. They turn to ice around me , like cold

24:07

shoulder cold shoulder , and I'm always so

24:09

shocked because I don't feel that way

24:11

about them . I'm just the golden

24:14

retriever and they're like you

24:17

know , and I'm like , oh my God , they actually

24:19

think that about me . So

24:22

those are my examples . I won't go into overcoming

24:24

those objections yet with Meta Mindset , but

24:26

I'm sure you have some of your own that you could share

24:28

.

24:29

Yeah , you know , I had a person it's

24:31

funny that thought

24:34

that I was a

24:36

fake , thought that I was a scam

24:38

, because I

24:40

was always smiling . I never had

24:42

. This person had done a deep dive

24:45

into my background and asked a

24:47

number of people and everyone that

24:49

she had . I was actually applying

24:52

to be part of this speakers

24:54

network and

24:56

, it's amazing , she was in

24:58

charge of membership and

25:00

she said to me I guess

25:03

I have to let you in , but I

25:05

don't like you . And I said well , did I do

25:07

something to offend you ? She's like you're too damn

25:09

happy . And

25:12

I'm saying to myself you're

25:15

upset at me because

25:17

I'm happy . And

25:19

I asked a friend of mine that knew her he's like Lyman

25:22

, she's been that way for

25:24

20 years . She has

25:26

run more people away from this speaking

25:28

organization than people

25:30

that have joined . And I said well

25:32

, why do they keep her in a position ? Well

25:35

, she was married to the person

25:37

who started the company and part

25:39

of the divorce settlement they had to keep . She had to have

25:41

a job . So she hates her husband

25:43

. She's in this job , she hates . And now

25:45

she's making everyone else like a living

25:48

hell . And but

25:51

I've done nothing wrong with to her

25:53

. I didn't marry her , you know , but

25:56

that's how she felt

25:58

, you know oh that's funny because , yeah

26:00

, you know , but that's how she felt , you know .

26:02

Oh , that's funny because my husband , Zeka

26:04

, says the same thing to me and we have a great relationship

26:06

which involves a lot of humor

26:08

. That's how our relationship has matured and become

26:11

. You know , there's a maturity in relationship when you can

26:13

start using a sense of humor , right

26:15

, and I'm like , oh honey , he's very serious

26:17

and he kind of looks at all

26:20

the practical aspects of life let me just

26:22

put it that way to the to a fault

26:24

and I'm on the other side and so I'll

26:26

be like what can I do to make your day better

26:29

? And I just want to see you feel joyful

26:31

and you know , and he'll just be like , oh

26:33

my god , could you just not be so happy

26:35

. He's like I want

26:37

to be grumpy .

26:38

This is funny . So

26:40

the other day this

26:42

is so funny , but

26:45

the other day I

26:47

had an eye procedure . You don't have to get eye

26:49

injections right . And so after

26:51

I get an eye injection for this

26:53

retina thing that they're treating , and

26:56

they changed up the medication , and

26:58

so by the time I get home I need to just lay down

27:00

. And so one

27:03

day my wife and I was

27:06

watching TV or something and I

27:08

said to her like a baby , I said I

27:10

need a huggy , and she looked at me and said

27:12

a pappas .

27:13

Like a diaper .

27:18

That's me , but in my mind I was trying to be

27:20

cute . I need a hug , you know , for my wife

27:22

, and

27:24

I said huggy .

27:26

And she's like yes , no , that's

27:29

like something wrong . A grown man needs a pamphlet

27:31

? Well

27:33

, and this is a thing , right , because and

27:36

our clients as well , and we're going to try

27:38

to stick with life here as opposed to clients . But

27:40

personality and identity come

27:42

into , often come into

27:44

a real space in the conversation

27:47

, whether it's with a client , or whether it's someone

27:49

at work , whether it's someone at

27:51

home , whether it's someone in your social or

27:53

professional sphere , and

27:56

you know , you just like I just

27:58

don't like that person , or you can tell that they're

28:00

like I just don't like Ann

28:03

. So you know , we talk

28:06

about using a focus , meta mindset to

28:08

find ways to overcome

28:10

those objections , and I think part of

28:12

that is what we already talked about a little bit

28:14

, which was narrow mirroring

28:17

, but in this sense , in our day-to-day

28:20

relationships , wouldn't you

28:22

say ?

28:23

I agree absolutely . There

28:26

are times where no

28:30

one can look at

28:32

you and say you've done anything wrong . All

28:34

right , but this person

28:36

is convinced

28:38

that you are the spawn of Satan

28:41

. Okay , they don't like you

28:43

. They don't know why they don't like you . They don't like

28:45

your energy , they don't like your eye

28:47

color , they don't like the color of your

28:49

skin , for whatever reason

28:52

. Okay , and

28:54

sometimes we get caught in this vortex

28:56

of we're trying especially people like that

28:58

you know that's imperfect like well , why

29:00

don't you like me ? You know , let's talk

29:03

about it . I don't want to talk , get out my

29:05

face , you know . And we

29:07

have to be mature enough , and it comes

29:09

with maturity of being

29:11

able to say you know what . You don't like me , that's

29:14

okay . I don't have any

29:16

reason not to like you . But

29:19

I'm not going to create stress , I'm

29:21

going to remove myself . And

29:23

sometimes it's hard , yes , it's

29:25

hard for people to do that , ann .

29:28

Well , because I think what

29:30

they forget is what we always talk about

29:32

. Every episode , I swear , it comes back to this . I

29:34

don't swear , but which

29:36

is being an agreement versus

29:39

being in alignment ?

29:40

Yes .

29:41

So if you have to work , I

29:43

have someone in my life who will never

29:45

watch this , who's extremely

29:48

difficult personality to work

29:50

with and for geographic

29:52

and other reasons , I have no other choice . So

29:56

I

29:58

don't think they particularly like me . I

30:00

don't particularly like them . So

30:03

how do you

30:06

know , how do we find alignment

30:08

, since we have to be in a professional

30:11

environment together on a regular basis

30:13

, right ? How do we find alignment

30:16

? Even though it's like they say in

30:18

the UK , did you ever hear that phrase ? Chalk and cheese

30:20

? That's a UK thing . Or you

30:22

know , oil

30:26

and water . We tend to say here as like okay , we're oil and water , but we're in the same workplace

30:28

or we're in the same club or we're there in my family , even

30:30

harder . Right . So how

30:32

do I you know , how are ways that I

30:35

can overcome that ?

30:36

Yeah , I think you know one of the things and I've

30:38

had to do this . You kind of set up

30:40

militarization

30:42

zone , like you know , during like the

30:44

Korean War they're like , ok , we had a standstill

30:46

. So I guess we don't create boundaries , you

30:49

stay on your side , I stay on my side

30:51

. So you create these sort of working

30:54

agreement or boundaries and

30:56

listen , sometimes over a subject

30:58

let's say it's over a subject we know we talk about

31:01

religion , we talk about money is

31:03

going to get heated . So let's agree that

31:06

we limit our conversations to

31:08

anything other than talking

31:10

about those hotbed politics

31:12

, money , religion , family

31:15

matters , things of that nature . Other

31:18

times it's like you know what

31:20

, let me know when Susan's

31:23

going to be there and I show up when she leave

31:25

, because it's too volatile and

31:28

sometimes separation is a good thing , it's

31:30

not a bad thing . It

31:32

is because you don't want to be in

31:34

a room where you're fire and

31:36

they're dynamite . The two don't mix , and

31:38

then you're going to blow up something .

31:40

That's excellent . Yes , that's a really

31:42

good example . No , that's a really good

31:44

example . So planning

31:47

, understanding who's going to be in the room when

31:49

and when you have to be in the same room

31:51

, um , creating

31:54

um space with that

31:56

person . You don't have to . You don't have

31:58

to try to show them up , because

32:01

they may want to try to show you up

32:03

, but if you have a really

32:05

meta mindset , a warm

32:07

, genuine approach , where they

32:09

can't ruffle your feathers but you actually

32:12

give them a compliment in the boardroom

32:14

instead , it drives

32:16

them crazy and it

32:18

makes them look like a and

32:21

everyone else is like wow , and it's being

32:23

really nice about that Lyman is being really

32:25

nice about that . You can tell that this person over

32:27

here is being a real pain in the hmm .

32:29

And people know it , people know .

32:31

You can feel it , you know , you can feel it .

32:33

You know , you can feel it , you can cut the tension with a

32:35

butter knife .

32:37

And the metamindset is . It has

32:39

to be genuine , though . It has to be it can't

32:41

be like oh Linda , you're so

32:43

right , it can be like Linda

32:46

. That's a really valued point . Thanks

32:48

for sharing that

32:50

with us .

32:52

And sometimes the alignment and

32:54

when you were talking , it reminded me sometimes

32:56

the alignment is what

32:59

the person is dealing

33:01

with has nothing to do with you , it

33:03

has everything to do with themselves . So

33:06

there are times where I will share

33:08

with someone . I say I

33:15

almost understand why you feel the way that you feel and you're entitled to feel

33:17

that . And they kind of look at you

33:19

and go huh , like , yeah , I

33:21

kind of understand why

33:23

you feel what you feel and

33:25

you have every right to feel . Now that's

33:28

an invitation for them to say well

33:30

, how do you know what I feel ? Now in a dialogue

33:33

.

33:33

Right , right

33:38

, absolutely . And this

33:40

is what takes me . This takes me back , and I'm going to have to wrap up because we're just having

33:42

so much fun and time is flying . But you know , this is taking me back to childhood , right

33:45

, and going to church school , right . So

33:47

there's this verse in the Bible that says if

33:50

your enemy is hungry , feed him

33:52

. If he's thirsty , give him a drink

33:54

, for if you do that , you're actually

33:56

heaping coals of fire on his head .

34:00

Yes , and it works . You know , one

34:02

person said kill them with kindness

34:04

. I want to kill them , I want

34:07

to redeem them . I always say redeem

34:09

them with kindness

34:11

. Bring them back into the fold because apparently

34:13

something has gone awry

34:16

in their life and

34:18

they're just lashing out at

34:20

you because they're in pain

34:22

and they

34:24

don't , a lot of times , are able

34:26

to communicate , and so you're just

34:29

there and you become the object

34:31

of their pain . There's been situations

34:33

we've coached individuals and where

34:36

I don't like this person because

34:38

their smile reminds me of my

34:40

. You know my father , who was very

34:42

abusive . Or you know , and you

34:44

look like my sister , that I can't

34:46

, or my sister-in-law

34:49

, I have the example for you .

34:51

This is for real life . I'm

34:53

sorry . You were the best candidate for this acting

34:55

role , but you remind the director of his

34:57

ex-wife .

34:58

There you go . What do

35:00

I have to do ? I don't even know who she is

35:02

, but

35:04

I have to foot the bill because

35:07

I sound , remind or

35:10

did something that

35:12

was a trigger for that person

35:14

, that now they hold it against me

35:17

and all I did was show up

35:19

and be my authentic self . I've

35:21

had that happen where someone said , you

35:24

know , um , yeah , not

35:26

, you know , lyman , we would work

35:28

with you . But uh , my partner

35:31

says , man , you just remind him too much

35:33

of an uncle that he didn't like

35:35

, because you're always smiling , you're

35:37

a big guy and , yeah , I'm like

35:39

, but I'm not as I don't even know his uncle , and

35:42

you know what .

35:43

I always say and as we're wrapping up here

35:45

, I always say that when you get

35:47

Sometimes

35:50

maybe five percent of

35:52

the time you're given

35:54

an objection that

35:56

is so legitimate it's

35:58

a gift it is . I

36:00

can't change that producer or director's

36:02

mind . I can't not look like his ex-wife

36:05

if that's what he thinks . You can't not look like

36:07

that uncle . So

36:09

you're like you know what ? I

36:11

appreciate that . I've run into people

36:13

in my life that reminded me of someone who was not my

36:15

favorite person . I absolutely

36:18

get that . Don't worry about it

36:20

. But if you ever know someone else who's looking for this

36:22

kind of world-class service , shoot

36:24

them my way . I'd really appreciate it , do

36:26

you ? think they'll remember you when you handle that

36:28

objection that way , right , which is just

36:30

and it's fun , and you get to be authentic

36:32

. Okay , we are going to wrap up

36:34

because we are totally out of time , as

36:37

always having so much fun here . Thank

36:39

you all for tuning in to watch or listen

36:41

on whatever platform you're on today . Please

36:44

do us a favor help this show keep going

36:46

. Share this link with someone

36:48

who you think would enjoy our chats

36:50

and also like and subscribe

36:52

on your platform .

36:53

Absolutely yes .

36:54

We would really appreciate that . We're

36:56

so happy you're here with us on Focus Meta

36:58

Mindstream and

37:00

check us out every Tuesday for

37:03

a new streaming episode . Thank

37:05

you so much , Lyman . Thank you

37:07

, Anne , have a wonderful

37:10

day . Thanks everybody . Bye-bye .

37:12

Take care . Goodbye .