0:05

I would just say this keep connecting . You

0:08

know , it's one thing to just

0:10

reach across the aisle , whether virtually

0:12

or physically , but that doesn't necessarily

0:15

touch , doesn't always mean connection , Connection

0:18

of the mind , the heart and the soul . So

0:20

keep connecting , genuinely and authentically

0:23

Connect . I love that .

0:25

I love that Connecting and connect

0:27

with someone else today .

0:31

Unleash your potential with MetaMindstream disrupting

0:34

possibilities . Dive into the fusion

0:36

of positive neuroscience and business strategies

0:38

with Ann Scotland and Dr Lyman Montgomery

0:41

. Break free from limiting beliefs

0:43

, expand extraordinary lives

0:45

and boost business profitability

0:47

.

0:49

Welcome back , so happy to have

0:52

you here today . Welcome back to

0:54

MetaMindstream , where

0:56

we're disrupting what's possible , which

0:58

means we are calling

1:00

the impossible possible . We

1:02

are finding all of the excuses that we make

1:04

in everyday life because things

1:06

just are the way they are and

1:09

we're taking life meta , aren't we , dr

1:11

Lyman Montgomery ?

1:13

Absolutely absolutely . We're

1:15

taking life meta .

1:17

Absolutely . I have an extra

1:19

sexy voice today because I

1:21

lost my voice a few days ago , so

1:23

I'm just going to work it . If I cough

1:25

, you'll know why Anyhow

1:29

, so welcome , welcome back . This

1:31

is a feature of our business , where we are

1:33

partners , focused MetaMindset

1:35

, and the purpose of our business

1:38

is profitability simplified

1:40

. We help individuals and businesses

1:43

and corporations find profitability

1:45

and simplify it through the tools

1:47

of neuroscience and actionable

1:50

business strategies that match up with neuroscience

1:52

, which is it's not only useful

1:55

and practical , but it's just fun , absolutely

1:59

fun .

2:01

I'm cracking up because you're yeah

2:03

.

2:04

Oh , I know it's going to be so fun . It's kind of cool

2:06

. It's kind of cool like you and my host . I

2:08

was talking to someone the other day , last night

2:11

, and they're like you sound like a frog

2:13

. I was like , thank you .

2:15

So can you remind me of one

2:17

of those commercials

2:19

where they're trying to sell perfume

2:21

?

2:22

Oh , right right .

2:24

All right .

2:26

Ian , my name is Ian Scotland .

2:28

Oh , I can't do it when .

2:28

I try , there we go .

2:29

Okay , here

2:32

we go . So our show guys . Thank

2:34

you so much for joining us here again today . This

2:38

is really candid and provocative conversations

2:40

. Our show is not

2:43

rated , although we keep it clean

2:45

. We also talk about taboo topics

2:47

and talk about

2:49

a lot of insights around business , finances

2:52

and interpersonal things in life and

2:54

how your meta mindset can take you

2:56

to new and different places . Today

2:59

we're going to talk about , in our business segment , connecting

3:01

to customers and clients . People

3:04

pay millions and millions of dollars

3:07

to find out some of the simplest strategies

3:09

that we're going to talk about today of

3:11

how to really deeply connect

3:14

to customers and clients . We

3:16

have often made it so complicated

3:18

, haven't we Lyman , that people don't even know

3:20

what to expect anymore .

3:22

You know one of the things when you were talking , I was

3:24

thinking about connection . Right , everyone

3:27

wants to feel a sense of connection and

3:30

, depending on whom you're talking about , we're not

3:32

talking about thieves , we're not talking about mobile devices

3:34

. We're talking about people

3:37

actually sitting across

3:39

the rooms , sitting across the table and

3:41

connecting , because a lot

3:43

of times we're like , well , I connect with 4,000

3:46

people a day . No , no , no , no , no

3:48

. We're talking about personally

3:50

connecting with them .

3:53

Or virtually , because I'm connecting with you right now

3:55

.

3:55

You can do it virtually .

3:57

Next to voice , but virtually .

3:59

Yes , yes .

4:02

No , it's true , really connecting , and I think

4:04

so much of that

4:06

is so

4:08

much of business and sales becomes

4:11

a game of manipulation

4:14

. And who can outsmart ?

4:15

the other .

4:16

As opposed to going back to you know

4:18

, even what we might consider old-fashioned

4:21

. Connecting to another person

4:23

just because they're a person and

4:25

they're unique and they're interesting

4:27

and they have their own sets of personality

4:30

, their own sets of wins and problems

4:32

, and like just being interested

4:34

, generally interested in

4:36

people , is such an

4:39

important part of

4:41

staying connected and being connected

4:43

. So , today we're going to talk more

4:45

about in a moment here , about clear communication

4:48

, both amongst your team

4:50

members and also , especially , with customers and

4:52

clients , because this can really

4:54

reduce , streamline your processes , it

4:56

can reduce errors and , ultimately

4:58

, is leading to increased profitability . So

5:02

, lyman , I was wondering what

5:05

is a scenario that you might want

5:08

to share around when

5:11

empathy with customers

5:14

and clients isn't really working

5:16

, when you , like you know , you're trying so

5:18

hard and there's still some disconnect

5:21

. I'm sure you've experienced that .

5:22

I remember several years ago I had a client

5:24

that's kind of funny when I think about

5:26

it who was a hairstylist

5:29

and she was a fantastic

5:31

hairstylist

5:34

raised three young

5:36

men two young men and a

5:38

daughter excuse me single mom

5:40

. But her dream had always been

5:42

to be an attorney . And

5:46

what happened to a lot of people you know . She had these

5:48

dreams . She got a scholarship to go

5:50

off to college , but it required a

5:53

$129 application

5:55

fee and everything she paid for she

5:58

didn't have the $129 , she went

6:00

to her mom and she said mom

6:03

, I got accepted into this great school

6:05

. Everything's paid for except

6:08

the $129 application

6:10

fee . The mother said you would never make

6:12

it . No one in our family ever graduated

6:15

. Just be happy to graduate from

6:17

high school . Yield

6:19

her fast forward

6:21

. 30 years later she's working as a

6:23

hairstylist , three kids

6:26

she's trying to raise . But that dream

6:28

I met her at a conference I was speaking

6:30

at and I talked about it's

6:32

not over until you decide

6:35

it's over . She came up to

6:37

me and she said while I was

6:39

inspired by what you said and she began

6:41

to tell me about her dream , I began

6:43

to work with her and and

6:45

I gave her a simple instruction , which I'm gonna

6:47

share later . But fast

6:50

forward . She is a practicing attorney

6:53

today and she went back to

6:55

school , got an associate sir bachelor's

6:57

and went to law school in her 40s

7:00

and now she's a practicing

7:02

attorney and I shared later about

7:04

the strategy that I gave her to

7:07

help her switch from I can't

7:09

to I can .

7:11

I Can't to , I can

7:13

, I love that so much , and and

7:15

connecting our customers and clients

7:17

is Such a big part of that . So

7:20

it starts in our own mindset , meta

7:22

mindset , right , which is where

7:24

you will , where your belief system is

7:26

about what you can and can't do you

7:28

think . This is why we

7:30

talk about Disrupting

7:32

what's possible , because what

7:35

we think is possible will

7:37

be the limit of our possibilities until

7:39

we're able to adjust that dial .

7:41

Think about the stuff we say . First of all , you

7:43

got three kids , all right

7:46

, you're a single mom , you're

7:48

not making that much money . They

7:51

need you , their teenager . Oh , by

7:53

the way , her brother was killed , okay

7:55

, and

7:58

she's not going back to school . Can you imagine

8:00

the negativity she had to overcome

8:03

? But the good news is she

8:05

didn't have to do it alone . So

8:07

what I would say to a lot is stop trying to do

8:09

it by yourself . That's why you need to partner

8:12

with someone that have already

8:14

blazed the trail . Stop trying to do

8:16

it alone . And Again

8:19

, we talked about empathy and I

8:21

had empathize that my mom . She

8:23

reminded me of my mom . My mom went back

8:25

to school when she had four

8:27

kids and I remember as a young boy

8:29

watching my mother Walk

8:31

across the stage to get her degree as

8:34

an adult , and that did something

8:36

. First I said if mom could do it , then

8:38

there's no excuse . Sometimes

8:40

all you need is a pattern and yeah

8:43

.

8:44

Yeah , no , it's amazing a pattern

8:47

and we're creating a pattern . One

8:49

of the things I love and I'm not gonna deviate

8:51

too far here , but is that we

8:54

create patterns in our own families

8:56

and in our own history . People

8:59

who have taken a stand to do things differently

9:01

in our family heritage have

9:04

changed the way about changed what

9:07

we believe is possible . So

9:09

, she's saying such a great example for her

9:11

kids , for example . This client

9:13

of you know that we worked with . So

9:16

what you can do is not

9:18

it's not just for you , but it's for them

9:20

. And Today , really

9:22

, the metamind sick technique we want to talk

9:24

about with this in building empathy

9:26

and connecting to others , you

9:30

know , if you visualize

9:32

yourself walking in

9:34

someone else's shoes and

9:36

Find their points of resistance

9:38

, we often realize what

9:41

we can do to relate to them better

9:43

. Give us a few examples of that .

9:46

Yeah , great example would be , for

9:48

example , if you can

9:50

Visually

9:52

see yourself with her . It Now

9:55

you might say , well , how can I do

9:57

that ? I mean , if it's

9:59

a female client or a woman client , how

10:02

can I put myself in their shoes ? It's

10:05

all about being able to use

10:07

empathy and I know that that

10:09

is a forgotten word these days where

10:12

, as people they want to , you know , hustling

10:14

, bustling , fight and and clamor

10:16

each other to get to the top . But no

10:18

, it's all about being able

10:21

. Can you relate , can you build rapport

10:23

With that other individual

10:25

? And that's what the key is Building

10:28

a connection or building a report

10:30

through the things we have in

10:32

common . Now , we may disagree

10:34

on a lot of things and Too

10:36

often we highlight the items

10:39

or the issues that we disagree , but

10:41

the key is can we find common ground

10:43

? What do we agree ? Even within

10:46

the disagreement , there can

10:48

be agreement . An

10:50

example had yeah , yes

10:52

examples like

10:54

you and I . We may

10:56

disagree on

10:58

food . You may say lineman , you

11:01

don't need to eat , that is not healthy . I

11:03

may disagree that living

11:05

a vegan lifestyle is

11:07

portrait . But

11:09

the common ground is how

11:12

do we eat healthy ?

11:14

Yes , exactly this is really good and

11:16

this is what we were talking about in our last episode

11:18

is we don't all

11:20

have to be in agreement . I think this is become

11:22

a comic . Yeah , this theme of this show

11:24

we don't always have to be in agreement

11:26

as long as we're in Alignment

11:30

. So so it's . If

11:32

you have someone who is

11:34

, you know , resisting

11:37

a sale or resisting

11:39

your Efforts to

11:41

give them better customer service because they had a complaint

11:44

, how can we , kind of like

11:46

, step into their shoes ? How ? What

11:48

does it mean to go meta ? What

11:51

are we doing differently in our heads than the

11:53

next person ?

11:54

Absolutely . You know . Part of that connection

11:56

and being able to empathize or understand

11:59

is asking yourself two questions

12:01

. The first question is is what

12:05

they're feeling real or

12:07

imagine ? Is it

12:09

reasonable to feel this way ? For example

12:11

, if you were to survey a hundred

12:13

people and you say I want

12:15

you to jump off of this cliff and

12:17

believe that this little court Wrapped around

12:20

your leg is going to save you , called bungee

12:22

jumping , how many out of that

12:24

hundred would say , sure , no problem

12:26

, here we go . So

12:29

a person might feel resistant because you're

12:31

asking them to do something that

12:33

they've never done before . So the

12:35

response or the resistance

12:37

is natural , the

12:40

same Resisting that you have . The

12:42

first time you probably rode a bike . The

12:44

first time you probably flew

12:47

in an airplane , on the airplane , or or

12:49

took a trip over the

12:52

Atlantic or the Pacifica , the Pacific

12:54

is it ? Oh my god , there's

12:56

no . This water . Okay , I

12:58

remember the first time I took an international

13:00

flight . I was like Are

13:03

we there yet ? And it was a long

13:06

, 16 hour flight Going

13:09

to . I was on my

13:11

way to Turkey , 16 hour flight to

13:13

Turkey to speak , and and I

13:15

was like feeling like , oh my god

13:18

, what if ? So many thoughts

13:20

. But I had to realize something . Lyman

13:22

, it's okay , you're

13:24

not the only one that's filling this . The

13:26

second question and that you ask yourself

13:29

is this Is

13:32

it okay for me

13:34

to vent ? Is

13:36

it okay ? Because sometimes

13:38

you need to get away , express

13:41

the behavior , the emotion and

13:43

then say oh , I got that out the way

13:46

, now I'm gonna come out . Good example . Let's

13:49

say I'm feeling anxiety and

13:51

I'm feeling tense . I may need to go

13:53

outside and just go ah

13:56

, ah , ah , who got that out ? I

13:58

have to release that energy , but doing it in a constructive

14:01

way . I wouldn't advise

14:03

doing it in front of people , but

14:06

sometimes you need that release and

14:08

then you're like okay , let me come back .

14:11

Oh , this is good , this is good

14:13

, and despite my voice , I'm gonna jump in here because

14:15

I think oftentimes we

14:18

have such a sanitized way of doing business

14:20

and as a teacher

14:22

and a coach both of us we know what

14:24

it's like to give people an invitation

14:26

to get comfortable , right .

14:28

Yes .

14:29

If you have someone who is

14:31

really resisting or really upset

14:34

, instead

14:36

of making them hold it together , it might be

14:38

like listen , I hear

14:40

your general issue and what's been going

14:42

on . I'd like

14:44

you to give you this opportunity to really

14:46

vent , to just let me have it

14:48

, because you know what I can handle it

14:50

and I already have solutions , but

14:52

I feel like we need to get this out of your system

14:55

. So I'm gonna set a two-minute

14:57

timer here and I'm like , just tell me everything

14:59

you think that's the key in , and

15:02

you know what's important .

15:03

I use it with my clients , we use it with our clients

15:05

and here's the funny thing about it For so

15:07

long they've been told keep it together

15:10

, hold those emotions , and all they're doing

15:12

is suppressing it and they

15:14

become like a pressure cooker . They will explode

15:16

. What we're seeing is

15:18

, no , that anger , that

15:21

emotion needs to be released . Let's

15:23

do it in a constructive way so

15:25

you don't blow up the place , figuratively

15:28

speaking , and sometimes early

15:30

, okay , but also

15:32

that is done in a way that we

15:34

can take it . I remember we

15:36

had a client once and she was upset

15:39

. Remember she was dealing with a product

15:41

that's coming onto the market and she

15:43

lost her vendor and she

15:46

was so upset in our client

15:48

in San Diego we said go ahead

15:50

, let it go , it's

15:52

okay , I don't care if it's profanity

15:55

. You have to get that out , because

15:57

once you get that negative emotion

15:59

out , guess what happened ? It's

16:02

like a rain cloud begins to dissipate

16:05

and you can see clear why

16:07

. Because you're not fogged with

16:09

all that . Why did this happen ? I don't understand

16:12

. Get it out , because so long

16:14

we've been told , as a woman

16:16

, don't let them see you sweat . All

16:19

women are supposed to be emotional , but as a man

16:21

men don't cry Bullwacky

16:23

I love this .

16:25

You better cry . I love this

16:28

and I think , asking intelligent

16:31

questions to people without

16:34

getting weird , you know exactly . So

16:36

I realize you know we

16:40

can do this , help solve our problem . But

16:44

oh

16:46

yeah , sorry everybody . Good , we

16:48

had some tech issues this morning where basically

16:50

the wind of change blew through

16:52

and knocked our equipment over . But

16:57

asking people like you know how does it make

16:59

you feel Not like a therapist You're not supposed

17:01

to be their therapist but you can say I'm

17:03

sure this is so frustrating . What has been the

17:05

most frustrating thing about no

17:08

one ever asks that . Everyone always

17:10

says , oh , here , let me fix it , here's the

17:12

solution , here's the solution . Well , guess

17:14

what ? You can offer me 100 solutions , but

17:17

if I still don't feel like I've been heard

17:19

and we're going to talk about

17:21

this in just a minute because we're about to move

17:23

into the lifestyle section here in

17:25

a minute or two , oh my goodness yes , Anne . We're going to talk

17:27

about things like real life home

17:30

relationships and being heard and

17:32

the importance of letting people know

17:35

you heard , hear them . Letting

17:38

people know that they can express themselves in

17:40

a safe and timely way and

17:43

that you can be not in agreement , but

17:45

you can be in alignment .

17:46

Yeah , let me ask you this , anne , as you were talking

17:48

why do you feel

17:50

that we've bought

17:53

into this program ? That's

17:56

what it really is programming that

17:58

we have to be like cool cucumbers

18:00

, like an iceberg . No

18:04

one sees any emotion , we're like

18:06

stoic . Where does that come

18:08

from ? And people are dropping

18:10

dead due to stress-related

18:13

illnesses because they have all

18:15

this pent-up anxiety . We saw

18:17

it during the pandemic , we

18:19

saw it during the election that

18:21

now people are saying how do

18:23

I get this out of me before

18:26

I go crazy ?

18:28

It's called , you know programming

18:31

. It's called domestication

18:34

. It's called

18:36

sanitizing societies

18:38

so that everything is nice

18:41

and shiny , which means it's pretend

18:43

it's F

18:45

, fear of missing out . See , I came with

18:47

a F-O-M-I

18:50

FOMO fear of missing out . It's

18:53

all of those things where we

18:55

, we all , pretend everything

18:58

is , as my grandpa used to say , hunky

19:00

dory , like we always used to pretend like we're

19:02

great , everything's amazing , but

19:05

the fact is , it isn't really true , and

19:07

I think that we're

19:09

we're faced every day with an onslaught

19:11

of just Advertising

19:13

alone . Wow , it's not just

19:16

on TV , it's on the billboards , it's on social

19:18

media , it's at the bank . I'm so offended

19:20

now when I go to get gas and

19:22

it's peaceful and the birds are singing and has

19:24

a TV screen and they start yelling at me . I'm

19:26

giving me advertisements and I'm like I

19:34

just want to have a moments peace

19:36

. But all of this is always the shiniest

19:39

, happiest people . Everything is always shiny

19:41

and happy , and what I think is so incredible

19:43

about going meta , having

19:45

a meta mindset , is really

19:48

Empathizing in a new and different level

19:50

. Many of us who've been in business for a long

19:52

time , we've had training and understanding

19:54

and listening and empathizing , but

19:57

this is different because this is

19:59

Permission for

20:02

you to be yourself right now . Yes

20:05

and for me to truly hear

20:07

you and you don't have to impress

20:09

me . You can fall apart if

20:11

you like , you can yell if you want , you

20:13

can cry if you want , and I'm not gonna

20:15

hold that against you as being Unprofessional

20:17

. In five minutes , when we're done

20:20

, we're gonna take a deep breath and then

20:22

we're gonna look at the proactive side of things . But let's

20:24

give each other permission to be real

20:26

and isn't that the essence of

20:28

disrupting what's possible ?

20:31

Because what's possible is Wait

20:33

a minute . The old paradigm has

20:36

to shift and a friend of mine

20:38

said it really has to die To

20:41

be reborn , because we

20:43

continue doing what we've always done

20:45

. We will always get with

20:48

interest , but we've always gotten

20:50

. I Know it's not good English

20:52

, but it makes sense .

20:54

I love it , it's perfect

20:56

, it's perfect . So , so , um , so

20:58

I love that , and let's switch over now

21:00

into we're gonna take a really quick

21:02

break for

21:05

so that we can

21:07

reset here , make sure our stuff isn't

21:09

still blowing over . We're gonna

21:11

reset right after this commercial will be

21:13

back and we're gonna jump into our favorite

21:15

segment even , which is about

21:17

applying metamind set in life

21:20

and especially around empathy . We'll

21:22

be right back .

21:25

Unleash the power of strategic neuroscience

21:27

with focused metamind set ink . Boost

21:30

your decision-making , sales , sustainable

21:33

growth and customer engagement . Scan

21:36

the QR code now for an exclusive

21:38

consultation . Elevate

21:40

your profitability with focused metamind

21:43

set ink .

21:45

Welcome back to metamind stream

21:47

with dr Lyman , montgomery and myself

21:49

and Scotland . We're talking

21:51

today about business and

21:53

life and how empathy with those

21:55

around us can go a long way

21:57

. Taking it meta , doing

22:00

things in a way that other people say

22:02

isn't possible , oh , if you're not nice about

22:04

it , it's not good business . Well , there's

22:06

a time and place for everything . What about

22:08

when you let to leave ? Have to let your client

22:10

just let out their frustration ? Yes

22:13

instead of trying to just put stickers on

22:15

it and covered up . It's like a dam , you know , and there's

22:17

like the guy tries to plug the hole

22:19

in the dam with all these difference , you know , little straws

22:21

and and it kind of holds it back

22:24

and then eventually it all blows up . You

22:26

could lose the deal trying

22:28

to be nice . So what about giving

22:30

people permission for a specific

22:32

amount of time or space to really express

22:34

themselves ? And now we're gonna

22:37

talk about what this looks like in our

22:39

everyday lives , not just business

22:41

. Oh Gosh , I know whether

22:43

it's gonna be so many fun examples here . Absolutely

22:48

so . One of the things that we often talk

22:51

about is how do we empathize

22:53

when we're having Communication challenges

22:55

? Let's just go straight to it and say

22:57

At home or with a significant

23:00

other .

23:01

I give you one that just happened the other

23:03

day as

23:06

I share before the the show

23:08

. You know he had some car issues , practically

23:11

is four years old , but I

23:14

has , you know , some wobbly

23:16

, wobbly , miss guess , that's the word , some wobbly

23:18

wobbly is love , that word the

23:21

stern was kind of wobbly so

23:23

I Was looking

23:26

online for something . My wife came in and she asked

23:28

me a simple question and I was kind of short

23:30

with her because I was busy . I was frustrated and

23:33

she responded in kind and I said

23:35

why are you raising your voice at me ? And

23:37

she said , no , you raised your voice at me

23:39

and I'm like , oh , sorry , but

23:43

you know , we kind of laughed about it and

23:45

moved on . But that could have been a situation . It

23:47

could have been escalated , blown out

23:49

. But she understood that I was frustrated

23:52

because we were playing this big trip

23:54

and I'm like , why

23:58

would the car break down ? The car knew we

24:00

were supposed to go somewhere , but we got four

24:02

cars , so I

24:06

was the mere fact of a car breaking

24:09

down . But that's an example of Having

24:12

to empathize and say okay , and

24:14

vice versa . She's like , okay , I know my husband

24:17

is frustrated , we planned

24:19

this trip and everything

24:21

. So now yeah . What's

24:24

plan B ? And

24:26

she was real good because I got one . That's when

24:28

I told you there was insane from

24:30

the dealer and and she

24:32

jumped in . She sent me a test . She's like , hey , same

24:34

tires 50% cheaper

24:37

and I included Alignment

24:39

, everything goes . And again she could

24:41

have been mad at me . He raised his voice to me . I

24:43

ain't helping figure that yourself . Oh

24:45

, what's he hit ?

24:46

right . Well , she has empathy

24:49

. She's feeling how you feel , because it might not

24:51

what's important to you isn't always important

24:53

to her , and vice versa . Again

24:55

, you can be in an alignment

24:58

without necessarily having to be in agreement

25:00

as to what the outcome should be . Another

25:03

thing I like to always tell when I'm working

25:05

with my clients whether the business or just we're

25:07

just out every day life , which

25:09

is when you're talking about creating empathy

25:11

with other people in your sphere

25:13

. Yes one of

25:16

the best tools I know

25:18

of is Having a sense of

25:20

humor , bringing humor to

25:22

the subject , because sometimes

25:24

I mean my husband and I we have this sort

25:26

of adorable way of like Bickering

25:30

. It's not fighting , it's not even really arguing

25:32

, it's more like , well , yes , but I remember

25:34

I said this , will remember I said that . And

25:36

we have this way of Integrating

25:39

how much we appreciate each other into

25:41

these conversations to the point where our friends all , if

25:43

you guys would just tape your Kitchen conversations

25:45

, you could make a million dollars on a show , because it's hilarious

25:48

, because you interspersed

25:51

the challenges with what you like

25:53

and love about the person and you mean it

25:55

. I appreciate you so much

25:57

, honey . You do so much work for around

25:59

the house and you're such a great dog

26:01

, dad , and you made such an amazing

26:03

dinner last night , you know , and

26:06

and just the fact that you've let the dishes

26:08

pile up to this extent , it really shouldn't

26:10

bother me and I'm really working on it . You

26:12

know it's . That's actually authentic

26:15

, because I'm not being passive

26:17

, aggressive . He knows , the pile of dishes in the sink

26:19

is like you know , mount Everest is bothering

26:22

me , but I'm also Maxed

26:26

out . You do a lot of work . I appreciate

26:28

what you do and you can tell I'm bothered

26:30

right now , but I'm also working on

26:32

me , yes , like I'm working to not

26:35

be as reactive , right . So

26:37

let's both give each other permission

26:39

to to be imperfect

26:41

. Let's also bring Positive

26:44

affirmation and gratitude to it , not fake

26:47

, tell it . Smell it a mile

26:49

away . I can't be like you're the most amazing

26:51

person in the whole world , even if you think

26:53

they are right . It has to be . You know like I'm

26:56

so appreciated what you did , xyz

26:58

, for me yesterday , and I know that sometimes I whine

27:00

and complain , like right now . I just lost my

27:02

patience around the dishes , but honestly

27:04

I could not . I would not want to live

27:06

with any other human being . I'm so

27:09

glad that we do , because we get

27:11

along and we know how to love each other's Problems

27:14

as well as each other's strengths .

27:17

Loving that I go beyond , yes

27:19

, going beyond , just to surface stuff

27:22

. You know , my wife and I we

27:24

have very intentional

27:26

conversations and those

27:29

but here's the theme our

27:32

Viewing of programs

27:34

, as far as television programs , are totally different

27:37

. I Am a bench

27:39

binge watcher . If

27:41

I start a series , I don't care if it's

27:43

like ten Seasons

27:45

, I will stay with that

27:47

for a month till I get through it . My

27:50

wife , she'll watch two , maybe

27:53

three , and go on to another one . Watched

27:57

one I was boring , move

27:59

to the other one , I'm like but aren't

28:02

you curious about what happened ? Nah , not

28:04

worried about oh , yeah

28:07

, no . I mean here's the

28:09

fix . I remember one time I said

28:11

well , honey , we want to watch TV , so

28:13

we agree that we're not series

28:16

person together , so we'll watch a movie

28:18

together . As long as under two

28:20

hours , okay , and it's before

28:22

nine o'clock , because after

28:24

that she's going to bed , all right . But

28:26

the alignment is , she knew

28:28

, I like series , right , I

28:31

like action . She's not , she's a

28:33

. You got to have a love story

28:35

. I watch it for one or

28:37

two hours . Then I got to

28:39

go see some action , but

28:43

it's you bond and we . But

28:45

she will watch an action movie

28:47

with me For about an hour

28:49

if it's not too violent and

28:51

too many , you know , roll

28:54

rage , driving , and

28:57

then she'll go watch . Just okay , I need some happy

28:59

time . We

29:03

are connecting , but

29:05

we don't agree on our movie choices

29:07

.

29:08

But that's okay , so you don't

29:10

always have to be in agreement , but you can be in

29:12

alignment . So giving you permission To

29:15

own their own space is really

29:18

helpful , whether it's your client , whether it's a family

29:20

member . You know

29:22

, giving them permission to be who they

29:24

are . We're all such different personalities

29:26

, you know , and and you and I know that

29:28

in in focused meta mindset

29:30

in our company we do analysis of

29:32

personalities for teams

29:34

and how to build a perfect team that's balanced

29:37

, but everyone has to . You

29:39

know , I have said if there was no

29:41

other Little

29:43

tiny piece of wisdom that I've ever said

29:45

to anyone in my life , it would be the same

29:47

old thing I say every single week there's

29:50

two sides to every coin . You get

29:52

a super mega achiever . They're

29:54

gonna have an opposite . Like they get impatient

29:56

easily . You have someone who knows how

29:58

to make money out their ears . You got

30:00

to be patient with them . They may know strategy

30:03

, but they may be terrible with timekeeping . You

30:05

have to know that everyone's gonna have those

30:07

pros and cons , those strengths . So

30:10

if you give them permission to

30:12

have their say to , to let it out

30:14

once in a while and and then

30:16

and just Readjust , like I

30:18

know pretty soon again the sense of humor

30:21

can come back into it . Frank

30:23

, I know you're gonna have to sit there and tell us

30:25

for five minutes why this is a terrible

30:27

idea in this meeting . So why don't you just

30:30

go ahead , let's do it now . Go , frank

30:32

, go , you know , like make it fun . And then

30:34

he's like you're like okay , well , thank you for sharing

30:36

. He recap what he said

30:38

you have been heard . Now

30:40

we're gonna share a different opinion , you know

30:42

, but find ways it doesn't have

30:45

to be so damn serious .

30:47

Yeah , and I love

30:49

that . I love what you said . Sometimes you find the

30:51

person who's very time conscious

30:53

. Make them a timekeeper . They

30:55

will love you . What I'm

30:57

in charge for one . Yes , woo

31:00

, you have someone as negative . Make

31:02

them your QA person . You say listen

31:04

, tom , going back to your time person

31:06

, tell me everything that's wrong and why

31:08

it won't work , but then tell

31:10

me what we need to do to make it work . So you

31:13

don't get on with the hook by just telling me what's wrong

31:15

, but now you've got to tell me

31:17

how would it work Exactly

31:19

. Now they begin to tap into the other side of

31:21

their brain , because right now they're just

31:23

on one side , but now you

31:25

switch them to the other side . It's OK , you

31:28

pointed out the gaps . What's wrong , what

31:30

will not work , why

31:32

it will not work , what will

31:35

what won't work ? Now tell me the

31:37

solution , and

31:39

, by the way , three minutes

31:41

or less .

31:43

Three minutes or less . Oh

31:45

, my goodness , this went so fast today and we're going to

31:47

have to wrap it up , but I'm just

31:49

so excited . You all have joined us again

31:51

On episode three . We are

31:54

up and rolling . We are so excited

31:56

. If you could see the stuff we have coming up

31:58

for you , you would already

32:00

be just jumping up and down . We're going

32:02

to have so much fun . Coming on to the next

32:04

episode , number four . So

32:06

always streaming live

32:09

on Tuesdays . Please check us out , on

32:11

whatever platform you're watching , whether it's

32:13

been live or if it's been pre-recorded . Please

32:15

like , please subscribe , please

32:18

share . We're a family

32:20

. We're a global family . Let's

32:22

go meta together . Let's make life

32:24

more possible in

32:26

positive ways , so that we can

32:28

use tools and techniques from neuroscience

32:31

to make the bottom line better

32:33

and to make life easier . What could possibly

32:35

be better than that ? And check us

32:37

out . As you've seen streaming here on our

32:39

website , focusmetamindsetcom , we

32:42

do all kinds of education

32:45

, speaking , coaching

32:47

and consulting . So for whatever

32:50

level you're looking at to take your business

32:52

or team to the next level , to improve

32:54

mindset and performance , check

32:57

us out . We always have something there for you . Our

32:59

email there is also as well , or you can

33:01

message us directly on the

33:03

site and again , that's focused with

33:05

ED , if you're just listening and not

33:07

watching focusedmetamindsetcom

33:11

. Any closing thoughts ? Lyman ?

33:13

I would just say to us keep connecting

33:15

. It's one thing

33:18

to just reach across the aisle

33:20

, whether virtually or physically

33:22

, but that doesn't necessarily touch , doesn't always

33:24

mean connection , Connection

33:26

of the mind , the heart and the soul . So

33:29

keep connecting , genuinely and authentically

33:31

Connect . I love that .

33:33

I love that . Keep connecting and connect

33:35

with someone else today . Share our episode

33:38

, forward them the link

33:40

and just share

33:42

so we can enjoy this conversation together . We

33:44

would love to hear your comments , your questions , your

33:47

topic suggestions and

33:49

we can't wait to get even more engaged with you as

33:51

we go forward . Thank you so much

33:53

for being with us here today and from

33:55

Dr Lyman Montgomery and myself . Be

33:58

well , and you don't always

34:00

have to be in agreement , but find the alignment

34:02

.

34:02

Yes , absolutely , well said .

34:05

See you next time . Thanks , bye-bye

34:07

.

34:10

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34:27

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